Mariah Carey says she wants one of those Stephen Hawking voice-changer thingees	(26)
(9News.com)		The media at its best: Golden Globes ceremony may be canceled because Britney is going craaaaaazy	(15)
(Some Guy)		New tell-all book about Tom Cruise says Scientology has taken over his life completely. To prove the author wrong, Cruise is suing for $100 million, which certainly ought to discourage anyone from reading it	(30)
		Wendy's a whore, Tinker Bell asks for it and Peter uses pixie dust to get in on girl-on-girl action in Alan Moore's porno rewrite of Peter Pan	(52)
(Some Guy)		Writer of "Star Trek XI" reacts to AICN negative script review. "Maybe we'll put flames right on the side of the Enterprise just for fun"	(37)
(Go Erie)		Erie, Pennsylvania man responsible for the concept of "American Gladiators" bitter about show's re-launch tonight. In other news, Erie is known for something other than the pizza-delivery bomber and Swill Mineral Water	(22)
		George Clooney threatening to boycott the Oscars, prompting a huge yawn of outrage from the rest of the world	(32)
		Jay Leno and Jimmy Kimmel will appear on each other's shows Thursday night, which guarantees even fewer laughs than usual	(16)
		When did Dr. Phil become the Spears family press agent?	(78)
(Some Guy)		It all makes sense now: Mr. Belvedere was the Antichrist	(21)
(Some Guy)		Glenn Close says boiling that rabbit in "Fatal Attraction" has saved countless marriages	(23)
		Say hello to your new Bond girl: Gemma Arterton	(72)
		Andrew Morton's new biography on Tom Cruise claims Katie was impregnated with L. Ron Hubbard's sperm, and Tom is now Scientology's second-in-command. Xenu frantically looking for devil child of his own	(53)
(Some Guy)		Elizabeth Montgomery gets posthumous Hollywood Walk of Fame star. Endora blames that numbskull Derwood for having it take so long	(22)

		Jon Favreau expresses an interest in assembling the Avengers (with bonus Iron Man and Hulk movie info goodness)	(36)
(Some Cyborg)		News: New Megaman movie is open to non-union actors. Fark: Here's the link to apply. You're welcome	(59)
(Some Gal)		After brief stay in hospital, Britney Spears has been released into the wild again. Police and mental health professionals advising locals to lock their doors and not leave snack foods or alcohol in the open	(197)
(Some Guy)		The TV Theme Song is Officially Dead	(70)
		Five web comics that will make you ditch your newspaper. Bonus: Article printed in the Washington Post	(76)
		Best "American Gladiators" review you'll read this year	(44)
(TrekWeb)		Leonard Nimoy reveals there are actually three Spocks in new "Star Trek" movie. How illogical	(36)
(Cracked.com)		Eight most cringe-worthy comic book movie moments. Comic Book Guy deems this Worst. List. Ever	(75)
		Antler bag Reese Witherspoon tops list of most-liked celebrities	(37)
		NYC mayor Michael Bloomberg awards key to the city to David Letterman's beard	(10)
(Some Guy)		Frank Sinatra could have been Dirty Harry and other actors that ALMOST played famous movie roles. You feelin' lucky kiddo?	(69)
(Some Guy)		Remember the name Brandon Routh? His career becomes another victim of Hollywood's dreaded "Curse of Superman"	(69)
		A little somethin' for the ladies who are also geeks: That handsome "Lost" doctor spills the beans on season 4	(27)

		Actors will be skipping the SAG awards this year, which means Kevin Costner can still attend	(22)
		Jennifer Garner wants to be a Klingon. Who doesn't?	(46)
(Some Guy)		Lohan's neighbors are trying to ban her from coming home, lowering their property values	(21)
		Federlowned	(447)
(TuneLab Music)		Not that anybody needs proof that radio sucks, but here's an interesting look at one particular reason	(90)
		You're in charge of making Shakespeare's "Julius Caesar" into high-concept drama. Do you: A) Add lots of kung fu? B) Cram all suicides into one scene? C) Turn Cassius into a woman? D) All of the above?	(19)
		Terry Gilliam says there's a good chance "Good Omens" will reach the big screen	(173)
		Britney Spears will be undergoing a 72-hour mental evaluation as soon as they can locate her brain	(125)
(TeenHollywood)		Jay-Z to open up chain of upscale ho-tels	(10)
(Vanity Gossip)		Alizee is back in action. Here come the animated GIFs	(141)
(cracked)		Eight celebrities you didn't know were geeks. List includes Dolph Lundgren with an IQ of 160... Wait, wtf?	(100)
(Some Stoner)		Celebrity potheads at an all-time high... so to speak	(34)
(NBC)		"American Gladiators" is back. All new series premiere Sunday on NBC (Sponsored Link)	(313)
(Some Guy)		Headline: "Kid 'N' Play Star Injured In Car Crash After Police Shooting" Article: Not actually involved in the "police shooting" part. Question: Does either Kid or Play still qualify as a star?	(28)
(Bitten and Bound)		Amy Fisher sex tape No. 1 in porn tape downloads. Wait... what? Seriously? Amy Fisher?	(44)
		Lindsay Lohan "briefly falls off sobriety wagon"? No, more like she fell off and got ran over by it a long time ago	(27)
(People)		Diane Keaton likes to embarrass her kids by going barefoot while bringing them to school. In other news, Diane Keaton is maybe-kinda-sorta-yeah-why-not hittable at 62	(58)
		Natalie Imbruglia is single again. Gentlemen, the line starts right here	(69)
		What does it say about the future if sci-fi is out of ideas?	(104)
		Forget Hollywood, you're going to the "American Idol" dustbin: Former winners Taylor Hicks and Ruben Studdard are dropped from their record label	(16)
(TMZ)		Britney Spears in police/paramedic standoff at her home	(602)
(Hiphop Elements)		Vivica Fox... oral sex... hidden cell-phone camera... Atlanta police. Farkers hunt down video in three... two... one...	(46)
		"Wrath Of The 1337 King," a "Spinal Tap"-style movie send-up of gamers, released online	(29)

(It's Comcastic)		If I'd known seven hours of douchebaggery counted as a comedy act, I'd have given it a shot years ago. Dane Cook sets world record for longest standup act without any laughing	(321)
(CelebStoner)		Strange budfellows: Snoop Dogg and Alan Thicke	(7)
		Headline: "Katherine Heigl's Huge Rock." I think they bought the wrong vowel, Mr. Sajak	(71)
		K-Fed pledges his support to Jamie Lynn Spears, marking the first time in history he's ever given support to a woman	(26)
		Ne-Yo sues R. Kelly tour promoter for breach of contract, claiming they had an oral contract but kept missing the target	(15)
		Dumbass quotes from dumbass celebrities offering their dumbass nutritional and health advice	(29)
		Michigan politicians look to boost film production. Sadly, the post-Apocalypse genre peaked in the 80s	(30)
		Vanessa Hudgens says her mom wasn't worried about her appearing stark naked on the internet	(79)
		REM says their new album, "Accelerate," will be a return to playing songs that actually rock. Submitter would use Cool tag here, but has heard the last few albums they've done	(69)
		Rupert Everett thought replacing his fake breasts with water balloons and popping them would be a great prank to play on the set of his new film. Guess you had to be there	(64)
(Some Guy)		Kim Kardashian is not engaged. Or good looking	(126)
(Deadline Hollywood Daily)		Jay Leno's self-penned monologue might have broken strike rules after being funnier than jokes written by a full writer's room	(400)
		Van Morrison to re-release albums, will include bonus content. Better music than the Iron Maiden link, but the shoes aren't as cool	(27)
(Some Guy)		Lindsay Lohan racks up $736 bar tab in Italy for NYE. In other news, herpes just made a comeback amongst Italian men. Drunken slut trifecta now in play	(45)
(Some Guy)		Lindsay Lohan gave the poorest acting performances in 2007. But she looked good doing it	(26)
		George MacDonald Fraser, author of the "Flashman" novels, and one hell of a storyteller, is dead at 82	(42)
(Jim Hill)		U.S. Disney parks to change forty years of "Haunted Mansion" tradition by eliminating spooky sayings from cast member guides. Wouldn't want anyone to get scared, you know	(54)
		Heather Mills may lose a farm and a leg due to an unpaid bill of £2 million from her divorce lawyers	(28)
		There is not much that a lawyer won't do for money, but representing Britney Spears is apparently one of them. Britney has third attorney quit her case in last four months	(29)
(Some Guy)		New "Star Trek" movie adds new "urban marketing" angle by casting Tyler Perry as the head of Starfleet Academy. Fat suit + Federation spandex = Profit?	(78)
		Letterman's first Top 10 list since the WGA strike began was written and performed by WGA members (with list)	(33)
		Woman who appeared in Brooks & Dunn music video as teen scores a double nickel blood alcohol content. Hank Williams Jr. impressed	(37)
(Some Guy)		Christian Bale in talks to star in new "Terminator" movie	(44)

		Poorly tattooed dwarf slut didn't "find love," pimps herself out for more money	(65)
(Some Guy)		In-depth look at "Indiana Jones 4," including how it only happened because Cubby Broccoli refused to let Spielberg direct a Bond flick, and Lucas passed on directing "Apocalypse Now"	(20)
(onenewsnow.com)		Repressed virgins at Parents Television Council monitor first season of Ugly Betty, find "205 instances of sexual content and 154 instances of foul language." Penis	(36)
		New MMOs are set to dethrone "World of Warcraft," including a riveting adventure through the "Late Night with Conan O'Brian" studio	(63)
(Some Guy)		Not only is Letterman the only late night talk show host to return with writers, he's scored Clinton as his "secret" debut guest	(57)
(Some Tabloid)		Sarah Jessica Parker may have finally found soulmate in upcoming "Sex and the City" movie. Submitter thought Mr. Ed died years ago	(43)
		Right out of the "I did not see this coming" playbook: Jamie Lynn Spears departing her Nickelodeon TV show	(50)
(Go banana!)		The new "Wiggum for Prez" campaign needs some slogans. VE	(84)
		The last season of the best show that has ever been on TV starts Sunday	(133)
(Some Guy)		Writers' strike is killing TV, growing Internet: "The advertising industry is the one that is going to be determining how and where we watch our TV, because it will all depend on where they can make the most money"	(30)
		The Colombian reality show that was yanked when a woman admitted to hiring someone to kill her husband has just been greenlit by Fox for the U.S. market	(56)
		If you had Tom Bosley in your 2007 dead pool, you lose. With creepy wrinkled photo	(51)
(TV Squad)		Ralph Wiggum will announce his intent to run for the presidency of the United States on the January 6th episode of "The Simpsons." Speech expected to make more sense than anything Ron Paul's said in months	(155)

		"The Dark Knight," as made in 1966	(62)
		Looking ahead at the early 2008, um, "TV season"	(60)
		Universal Studios uses 150-year-old magic technology to create 3D virtual Walken, capable of running around viewers and terrorizing young children	(26)
		Noooooooooooooooooo	(58)
		Slash says the police still call him Slash even though he can't beat Guitar Hero in expert mode	(67)
		Yahoo's top ten most anticipated movies of 2008. Submitter looked at the first one and stopped reading, but here it is anyway	(133)
(Cinematical)		Not that the writer is good or anything, but calling "Into the Wild", and we quote, "the world's most self-important Mountain Dew commercial" deserves a submission	(52)
		AP says Spears will be deposed soon, at least as a popular entertainer. But as tabloid fodder... long live the queen	(25)
		Ken Dodd is not feeling tattyfilarious, having to spend time in hospital in the care of his diddy men	(10)
(The Free Articulator)		Why the Hollywood writer's strike should go on longer	(80)
(Blend Music)		Top 5 Tunes for a Drunken Sing-a-long	(120)
(Some Guy)		10 greatest parties in movie history. The one you went to last night doesn't compare	(53)
(blogspot)		The Day Calvin and Hobbes died: 12/31/1995	(292)
(The Times)		Chuck Norris sues creator of "The Truth about Chuck Norris," claiming it hurts his reputation for people to think that he can impregnate women -- and men -- with but a glance	(44)

		Billie Piper marries. Kittens, Daleks breathing sighs of relief	(26)
		Britney Spears will be deposed at her next child custody hearing. And even after somebody explains to her that it won't hurt, isn't kinky, and doesn't involve Hostess products, she should still agree to it	(15)
(tPC)		Vanessa Hudgens dissed by MickeyDees drive-thru employee after finding out she wasn't Britney Spears, asks: Wasn't she butt naked or somethin'"	(32)
(Some Guy)		Jennifer Garner named West Virginian of the year, barely edging out "The One Guy With High-Speed Internet" and "Chicken Raping Zeke"	(30)
		Last attention whore of 07, first attention whore of 08 goes to Jude Law who claims he saw Frank Sinatra rummaging through his mini-bar	(7)
		Daniel Radcliffe will portray stoned war photographer	(14)
		Billy Connolly in car accident. First-responders report that he was pale blue despite being uninjured	(28)
(People)		Peter's boning the cheerleader	(74)
(Some Guy)		Perez Hilton's top 5 celebrity train wrecks of 2007 - video	(17)
		Jamie Lynn’s baby-daddy a ‘lying, cheating dog’	(61)
		"Take three Italians and call me in the morning." Lindsay Lohan caught kissing her way across Italy	(26)
		And the understatement of the year award goes to Rosie O'Donnell, who concedes that she might be just a little bit annoying	(21)
(Some Guy)		Can you guess this song?	(45)
(Some Guy)		Kevin Federline and Paris Hilton together? What will Britney think?	(37)
(NY Times)		University of Oregon files a motion accusing the RIAA of misleading the judge, violating student privacy laws and engaging in questionable investigative practices. Represented by the state’s attorney general	(71)
		Top 10 artists most likely to ditch their record labels	(45)
		Why I Would Literally Kill for Hannah Montana Tickets, by Sarah, Age 6	(47)
		Fark’s 2007 Headline of the Year contest: Showbiz/Entertainment (details in thread)	(67)
(Some Guy)		Thirty years later, longtime sidekick Fred Norris on longevity of "The Howard Stern Show:" "I thought the most the show was going to go was three months."	(52)
		How a couple of authors have influenced your mindset	(65)
		Daryl Hannah claims she hated being young	(26)
		Why a crop of crap movies in 2008 will be good for Hollywood	(46)
		Just in time for anyone with breakfast bulimia, a very famous rock star sucking the toe of his 53-year old wife	(43)