Anthony Bourdain's top 8 tips for not getting reamed at fancy restaurants	(7)
		Stuck on a long car drive or in a boring hotel? X-E teaches you how to fit a day's worth of entertainment into an empty Altoids candy tin	(28)
		Those pictures of Heather Mills' hoo-ha that she said didn't exist because she never did porn? Yeah, well, they exist and they'll hit the innertubes in 3...2...1	(43)
(Some Gal)		Today is Britney's birthday, ya'll	(47)
(Some Happy)		Mickey Mouse wasn't always the happy-go-lucky mouse we know and love. Far from it. Suicidally depressed, in fact. Check out these nifty long lost comics	(16)
		Jay Leno cracks, opens his pocketbook for fired staffers after they tell press he promised them their jobs were safe	(24)
(Some Guy)		Medical reviews of every episode of "House"	(61)
		What would Brian Boitano do? Put on a show with Barry Manilow, that's what. Barry: "I'm practicing my double-herniated triple back-breaking axel in case they ask me to skate."	(6)
		Auction of Ozzy Osbourne's crap brings in $800,000 for colon cancer program	(10)
		Cops: no pepper spray on Miss Puerto Rico's dress. Miss Puerto Rico: Never said pepper spray, did say irritant. Guess: How long before media accuses her of saying pepper spray?	(11)
		"American Idol" finalist jailed again after drunken confrontation with police and onlookers. No, it's not anyone you remember, but the mugshot is amusing	(14)
		Take a "Catcher in the Rye" tour of Manhattan by retracing Holden's favorite locations. John Lennon's former apartment at Dakota makes excellent final stop	(35)
		Recycled rock t-shirts go for big bucks. Hmmm, I wonder how much my authentic Loverboy Mike-Reno-style headband is worth?	(9)
		The 50 smartest people in Hollywood include Ben Affleck, Michael Moore, and Tyler Perry. There's no business dumber than showbiz	(46)
		Siegfried and Roy hint they may be returning to the stage. Taa daa	(12)

(IGN)		Max Payne movie official. Only remaining question is whether it will be Sin City or Super Mario Brothers	(37)
		Documentary on penis length is a little too narrow	(330)
		Montel Williams is a big star and can blow you up. Don't you forget it	(34)
		Tonight Show staffers fired after being told they needn't worry about finances or employment during strike. Tag goes to the whole situation and because one staffer called Leno the "most powerful man in TV"	(46)
		Let's get this seasonal juggernaut going now there's only 24 days to go - here's Ali G.'s Christmas message	(15)
		Good news everyone, Futurama producer David Cohen reveals more details about the 2nd, 3rd and 4th movies	(40)
		Roger Ebert tries to answer distressed indie filmmaker's questions after his critically-acclaimed Steve Buscemi movie disappeared without ever getting a chance. "Is the whole thing a Kafkaesque nightmare?"	(52)
(Some Guy)		Katie Holmes has new look. Gomez Addams exclaims "Oh cara mia"	(72)
(Some Guy)		Blogger explains why "Return of the Jedi" is the worst of the Star Wars movies with some examples that would have been deep and thoughtful-- twenty years ago	(105)
		Reese Witherspoon is highest paid actress in Hollywood, commands $15 to $20 million and 24 hour chin sharpening services per movie	(21)
		A voice in Billy Ray Cyrus' head told him to pick up a guitar and forget becoming a pro baseball player. 'Dumbass' tag applies to the voice. (If you play "Achy, Breaky Heart" they will come)	(16)

		Wayne Newton wants you to know he is confident about his masculinity, and he'll tell you so as soon as you are dead	(19)
		Seattle Farkers - Bid for a dinner with Wil. Proceeds benefit Child's Play Charity	(77)
(Us Magazine)		It took nine forensic teams and a gaggle of MIT geeks, but Us Weekly has finally proven that the text message from JR Rotem confirming Britney Spears' pregnancy was faked	(5)
		Will Smith admits "I have no talent"	(64)
		Nine TV producers investigating existence of Yeti just happen to find something that will make TV show more interesting	(25)
		Movie-making blunders from ninety Oscar-winning films. Tag is for #20	(101)
		And so it begins... NBC adding three hours of reality programming, brain-numbing crap to replace shows affected by writers' strike	(44)
		Behind the scenes of "The Dark Knight", Al Roker style. With "exclusive picture of Heath Ledger as 'The Joker"	(31)
		John Tuturro says Jesus Quintana may return in a spinoff movie. Nobody farks with The Jesus	(28)
(Some Eternal Guy)		Dick Clark is 78 today, or 4,862 in Human years	(18)
(GameTab)		Game journalist may have been fired over negative review. Here's looking at you, Daikatana	(68)
		"The Golden Compass" movie manages to produce complainathon by both Christians AND atheists	(79)
		Lindsay Lohan attempts to sell pictures of her family's Thanksgiving without showing any thighs or breasts	(24)
		Samuel L. Jackson to host Spike TV's 2007 video game awards. Motherf**ker	(18)
		Daniel Craig says the best things about James Bond movies are the cars. Ursula Andress, Britt Ekland, Maud Adams, Barbara Bach, Tanya Roberts, Halle Berry, Eva Green, et al. unavailable for comment	(44)
		Victoria's Secret lingerie models were homely kids who didn't get dates, and nobody asked them to the prom	(49)
		"Is it actually possible to make a good film out of a game? I suspect that the answer is yes, but it's a formidably difficult nut to crack, and since films based on games don't tend to attract top draw film-making talent."	(65)
(Bug Art)		Coolest picture gallery of painting painted by bugs you will see all day	(18)
(NY Daily News)		Michael Jackson's "Thriller" is 25 years old. Let us all grab our crotches and observe a moment of silence	(49)
		Australian magazine reporting that supermodel Megan Gale has been cast as Wonder Woman	(45)
(Inside Edition)		Julia Roberts puts a smackdown on paparazzi allegedly taking photos of children	(46)
		NME: "Morrissey said some controversial things about immigration." Morrissey: "NME, I will sue you, in far off places"	(18)
(IDLYITW)		First Britney was pregnant, then there were denials. The truth? Hard to say for sure, but In Touch staffers have released pictures of their Blackberrys showing text messages from J.R. Rotem saying "it's true". So there ya go	(22)
		Conan O'Brien to pay nonstriking staffers... for me to poop on	(28)
		Former model Janice Dickinson tells fellow jungle campers about her experience of plastic surgery: "You're looking at a man"	(15)
(Some Guy)		Forget the "DaVinci Code:" Guy argues in excruciating detail, with illustrations and diagrams, why iconic first cover of Superman comics is a secret Renaissance Hercules homage	(32)

		Not news: "Grey's Anatomy" star did a love scene in 1997. Fark.com: With her brother	(70)
(Some Alien)		Indiana Jones is set to have a Close Encounter	(24)
		HBO to turn Barry Bonds steroids book into excessively enlarged movie	(7)
(Some Guy)		Paris Hilton decides she wants to have a child. Didn't I read about this near the back of the Bible?	(40)
		Why does Terry Bradshaw have a Hollywood Walk of Fame star and George Lucas doesn't? $25,000 bucks	(29)
		SNL cast staged complete show this weekend complete with guest host and musical guest, despite having no NBC cameras, writers, talent, or dignity	(29)
(RADAR)		Lindsay Lohan sends out drunk mass texts to pick up guys. Last week's lucky winner? Heath Ledger	(32)
(Auction Network)		Need a gift for the person who has everything? Presenting Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne's charity auction catalog	(8)
(Some Guy)		Jennifer Love Hewitt is engaged. NNNNOOOOOOOOO	(76)
		KITT for new Knight Rider series confirmed as modified Ford Mustang. I don't think that's a very good idea, Michael	(80)
(SF Universe)		Promo pics from the upcoming mini-series "Tin Man" that make you want Kathleen Robertson to whip you for being bad and that invoke naughty feelings for Zooey Deschanel	(59)
(E! Online)		ABC to air "Lost" promos before movies in December, say the new season is "crazy good" and will "even satisfy the haters." Pffft... all the haters stopped watching after Season 1	(37)
		"Journeyman" fans won't have to for the DVD to see if Sam, Ziggy and Al are reunited, NBC decides to air the finale on Dec 19th	(47)
		Dan Brown's next historically inaccurate and ludicrously plotted novel to be about the influence Freemasons had on the construction of Washington, D.C	(63)
(Webby Awards)		The top 12 most influential online videos of all time. Numa Numa and Badgers conspicuously absent	(43)
(SOME WEBSITE)		A gameshow featuring a lie detector test. Yup, it's on FOX. Hmmmm, what possibly could go wrong??	(22)
		Pamela Anderson's newest role requires her to play the part of blonde bimbo being manipulated by a man's tricks	(14)
		Christina Aguilera (P-reggers) is still hotter than your girlfriend	(40)
		Christina Aguilera's pregnant belly, sharp knees on display on Marie Claire cover that was obviously not Photoshopped or airbrushed in any way, absolutely not	(20)
		Britney Spears strips off at a porn store. Five years ago, this would have been a good thing	(46)
(Some Guy)		Hard-hitting controversy of the day: Have Posh Spice's boobies shrunk?	(13)
		Who Wants to Marry a U.S. Citizen? New Reality TV show not short of contestants	(74)
		Ian Curtis biopic "Control" wins five awards at the British Independent Film Awards. Losers find themselves touching from a distance to get the prizes	(19)
		Bigmouth strikes again: Morrissey chimes in on immigration and British culture	(27)

		Settlement reached in Broadway strike. Fabulous	(9)
		"Futurama" movie sucks worse than the show. Try and get your head around that	(145)
(People)		"Dancing With The Stars" champ Helio Castroneves went from dancing on air to losing his fiancee in a matter of hours	(18)
(Some Guy)		Danny Bonaduce to pose nude in Penthouse to dispell the rumor that he's hung like a mouse. Submitter is now off to find a drill press and belt sander to try and remove that mental image	(48)
		Coming soon: "Meerkat Manor - The Video Game"	(40)
		The Vienna Vegetable Orchestra whittles its instruments out of produce, then plays a concert	(18)
		Whacked-out celebrities slated for "Celebrity Rehab" include Chyna, Daniel Baldwin, Jeff Conaway, porn star Mary Carey, and the loathsome and ubiquitous Brigitte Nielsen	(42)
		CBS "news writers" set strike date of December 10. Go fark yourself, San Diego	(52)
		For the first time in at least 20 years, SNL just might be funny	(58)
		Actors on "Chuck" are gaming nerds in real life, although they don't go all tongue-tied and nervous around Yvonne Strahovski like real gamers would	(29)
		Scottish actor James McAvoy claims he's not a masterbaker, although he would "come in" and put the "cream on top" of the other guy's "hard stuff"	(6)
(Egotastic!)		Jennifer Love Hewitt: Big boobs, even bigger ass. Was a bikini meant to hold all that?	(46)
		Oprah Winfrey flies to South Africa to silence--no meet, MEET the family of girl who was allegedly abused at her school	(26)
		Evel Knievel & Kanye settle infringement lawsuit. Now if only someone will shoot Kanye over the Grand Canyon in a faulty rocket sled, we'll all be happy	(20)
(Some Guy)		Horatio Caine (put sunglasses on) A David Caruso Production (cue intro)	(23)
		Another year, another Super Bowl, another Go Daddy.com ad rejected	(12)
		With the Holiday season upon us, news outlets are looking for ways to distract us from bad news like Sean Taylor's death, the war in Iraq, and OMG BRITNEY'S PREGNANT AGAIN	(90)
(Some Guy)		Jake Gyllenhaal seeks to move away from roles that question his sexuality by playing a butch, tough football player. Coincidentally, the only football player known to wear pantyhose	(25)
		Farkettes the world over seen sobbing into their wine glasses upon news that Daniel Craig has ignored their emails and asked someone else to marry him	(59)
		Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne make suicide pact. Researchers have yet to determine if Ozzy can be killed	(22)
(Variety)		The Coen brothers demonstrate a moviemaking model that clearly works	(91)
(NY Daily News)		NYC morning radio: now with less Whoopi	(12)
		Erik Estrada returns to Indiana for training to maintain reserve police officer status he earned during reality show. "I hope, when it's time to put me in my grave, I'll go in my Muncie uniform and badge"	(20)
		Sir Richard Branson tries to relaunch comic book featuring British superhero Dan Dare. Canadian comic book fans breathe sigh of relief that there's still a superhero in the world lamer than Captain Canuck (pic)	(39)
		Carson Daly solicits friends and family for jokes as he prepares to return to the air without writers. If only there were a resource, perhaps online, where he could see examples of humorous comments about current news items	(40)
(Some Guy)		Sources on-set say Marie Osmond's "Dancing with the Stars" fainting spell was entirely scripted. It's still real to me, dammit	(19)
		Catholic Church aims to make The Golden Compass the highest grossing film of the Christmas season	(71)
		Natalie Portman says she's through with "Star Wars." Hayden Christiansen still anxiously waiting by phone	(46)
		IndyCar driver Helio Castroneves wins Dancing with the Stars, does victory lap around Tom Bergeron's ego	(53)
		JRR Tolkien's great grandson convicted of marijuana possession, impersonating a hobbit (pic)	(150)

		Actress Anna Friel says kissing through plastic was the most erotic experience of her life	(35)
		Evel Knievel Tells Kanye West to get off his lawn, then becomes his homey	(7)
		Indiana Jones and the Quest for an Empty Lawn releases a few promo pics of Gramps with his whip	(65)
(Wonder Guy)		For the first time ever, Wonder Woman comic to be written by... a woman. Amazon superheroine expected to trade in swimsuit and tiara for power suit and sensible shoes	(19)
(DNA)		Animal rights groups furious over what Madonna did with some sheep, fearing that it might encourage other people to treat sheep in the same manner	(11)
		Is KITT to be cast as a Ford Mustang in new Knight Rider?	(62)
(Some Guy)		Kim Kardashian robbed at airport. Items taken include digital camera and laptop. New sex tape released in 3...2...1	(42)
		Serious local TV news reporters worried about being pressured to act silly and zany for the cameras, state excruciatingly obvious facts for fluff reports	(3)
(Egotastic!)		Who'd have thought a guy wearing coveralls and glasses would get the gig helping Victoria's Secret models change their lingerie?	(29)
		In a brilliant PR move, Carson Daly crosses the picket lines and will resume his talk show to satisfy both of his adoring fans	(19)
(Some Guy)		The cover for January's edition of Empire leaked, here's the latest glimpse of Ledger's Joker	(35)
		Charlize Theron voted top Hollywood stripper, beating Monica Bellucci and Angelina Jolie. Well, maybe not beating. Just lightly spanking	(28)
		The Original Futurama	(28)
(Some Girl)		What kind of world do we live in when Kevin Federline is "most influential" and "father of the year"?	(21)
		Much like his coffee beans, Slash prefers his hookers to come from South America	(22)
		Kevin Costner to ride on Mardi Gras parade float, which will inevitably cost $200 million to build and take 170 minutes to pass by	(112)
		Britney Spears is in the final stages of adopting two kids from China. "She misses her boys terribly and needs them in her life. She thinks adopting the twins is the perfect solution."	(89)
		Harrison Ford getting sick of Star Wars fans following him around, worshipping to him. "It's flattering, but I can't accept their prayers"	(41)
		'Tis the season for holiday TV specials, starting tonight with the classic Charlie Brown Christmas	(73)
		Could this be the Cloverfield monster?	(69)
(Some Mickey Smith)		Rumor confirmed: Billie Piper will be returning to "Doctor Who" in 2008	(61)
		Some video-game reviewers talk about the mechanics of the game. Others discuss its playability. Then there's this guy	(100)
		Good news, everyone	(52)
		Attorney for man critically injured in Hulkster's son's wreck argues that the Hogan divorce is a scam to protect their assets	(41)
		There is a disturbance in the Force, as if millions of TV watchers cried out at once and were suddenly silenced by a handful of complainants... FCC considers claiming control of cable television	(50)
(Some Guy)		Tom Cruise to star in a Dr. Who episode. He's playing Captain Jack's new companion	(42)
		Obscure character of the day: Star Trek Wino	(33)
		Hayden Panettiere latest female celeb who wants to sleep with Angelina Jolie. And that's not all on the list	(67)
		As she proceeds to work her way backwards through British pop, ex-Peter Gabriel girlfriend Rosanna Arquette dating Paul McCartney. Cliff Richard seen popping a little blue pill	(6)
(No More, With Feeling)		Sarah Michelle Gellar rules out "Buffy" movie. Would rather get drunk in a Jacuzzi. Seriously	(34)
		For those of you without Verizon phones, "Lost" mobisodes now on the internet. One of the first installments actually features a real, live Neil Frogurt. That's good	(24)

(D-Listed)		Ancient Egyptians worshipped cats as gods, in the new "Mummy" movie Brendan Fraser seems content to wear one on his head	(28)
(TV guide)		NBC orders up nine more episodes of “Chuck”	(47)
		Emeril leaves the Food Network, opening a spot for another annoying Rachel Ray show	(48)
(Hollywood Reporter)		Elizabeth Berkley to join "CSI: Miami" as Lt. Redhead McSquintyface's ex-wife	(58)
(Some Guy)		J.J. Abrams reportedly frustrated that as a member of WGA, he cannot change a single line while directing "Star Trek"	(38)
		Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling not at all bitter about about leaving Howard Stern, which he'll tell you if you ask him and apparently will just never shut the hell up about	(28)
		Vanessa Hudgens makes headlines for exercising bad judgment, again	(53)
		This will ruin the evening for those of you planning on killing a few kittens tonight thinking about Angelina Jolie	(34)
		Suge Knight part of Biggy's death. Duh	(34)
		Stephen King complains that the mainstream media isn't covering proper news and is trotting out the same old trash. If only there was a well-written, in-depth book published about this phenomenon that would make a great Xmas gift	(158)
(Some Metalhead)		Quiet Riot singer Kevin DuBrow found dead in home. No word on whether he banged his head	(83)
(A Socialite's Life)		At age 41 and after two children, Cindy Crawford can still rock a bikini better than 99 percent of women in Hollywood (SFW)	(33)
		Jackson Five -- including Michael -- set to tour in 2008	(37)
		Guy who grew up across Chicago street from Studs Terkel reviews his latest book. In other news, farkin' Studs Terkel is still alive and writing books	(12)
(Some Guy)		How Sega can cut out the suck and bring back the Sonic that we once loved	(55)
		Look, up on the Internet. It's a plane. It's a bird. It's... it's... well, it was an Internet bulletin board devoted to TV's Superman, George Reeves, until Yahoo shut it down	(6)
		After shocking loss of her kids, Spears will resolve her issues by adopting twins. Chinese twins	(35)
		After three weeks of moving around pieces of cardboard with stuff painted on it, Broadway stagehands may go back to moving around pieces of cardboard with stuff painted on it	(70)
(Aaayyyyy)		Aaaayyy. Henry Winkler declares that Jack Bauer is the new embodiment of cool	(24)