The kittens win again:Publisher denies rumors of Brady Bunch lesbian affair. Turns out it was not much more than a hunch	(32)
(RTE)		Cynthia Watros to return as Libby on "Lost" in Season 4. Though thrilled to be back with the cast, says it's a shame all her drinking buddies were killed off	(27)
(CareFair.com)		Size 0 models lose their sex drive as a matter of self preservation	(65)
		Celebrity chef Jamie Oliver is a sex symbol to Australian women, according to Jamie Oliver. In related news, supermodels just won't leave submitter alone	(11)
		If you think Wikipedia is bad, check out this mini biography on IMDB	(21)
(Some Farkette)		Top 10 non-english movies ever made, with link to top 100. Subby senses a flamewar coming	(94)
		Ahh, Kirk, my old friend. I shall leave you as left me -- with a list of the best 15 movie sequels of the 80s	(39)
		"Role Models" doll commercial starring Britney, Paris, Lindsay and Mel Gibson	(7)
		Paris gives it up to the pizza boy. The Sun is there	(39)
		"____________________________________"	(262)
		Salma Hayek gives birth to future fapping material	(47)

		Even in death, Rodney Dangerfield still can't get no respect	(28)
(Transworldnews)		Britney Spears turned down by Playboy. Even Heff has standards, and everyone else already has photos	(62)
		'Bewitched' actress Alice Ghostley shortens last name to Ghost	(22)
		Halo 3 expected to take in at least $125 million in the first 24 hours of nerdgasm tuesday	(122)
		EW's Top Ten "Star Trek: The Next Generation" episodes. Trivia: Wesley was Gene Roddenberry's middle name	(117)
		Gandalf claims that Obi-Wan had teh ghey, loved Vader's boots	(43)
(New York Magazine)		Reporter: "What did you learn from doing this movie?" Brad Pitt: "I didn't learn sh*t, really"	(24)
		Blast from the past: A look back at the one and only Real Ghostbusters Halloween special, from 1989	(15)
(jpp)		Simon Pegg and Nick Frost trade places in new road movie	(26)
(The Daily Record)		During divorce proceedings, Denise Richards has put Charlie Sheen's penis in her briefs	(11)
		This is probably going to be a big surprise, but "Good Luck, Chuck" is possibly the worst movie ever. LGT the good reviews	(71)
(people)		George Clooney injured in motorcycle accident, don't worry ladies, his face is still fine	(30)
		Britney Spears charged with hit and run and numerous fashion crimes (pic)	(69)

(Milk and Cookies)		30 years ago today: The Fonz jumped the shark	(173)
(Some Guy)		Coming soon to a Playboy near you: Kim Kardashian's ass and one of her boobs	(177)
		'Survivor: China' premieres with high ratings, proving the franchise isn't on its way out. Ratings predicted to climb even higher after annoying redneck booted	(37)
		Television channel to be renamed "Dave," because we all know one	(123)
		"Marcia, Marcia, Marcia. Oh, God, yes, Marcia"	(151)
		Jenny McCarthy... autistic son.. blah, blah, blah... the real story is that Jim Carrey now looks like a hippy Abraham Simpson	(93)
		Ozzy Osbourne is a sex machine who just won't let Sharon alone in bed	(31)
		Dolly Parton... blah blah blah... songwriters' praises... blah blah blah... Nashville... there's a pic... CLICK	(70)
		First look at "Battlestar Galactica: Razor"	(45)
		Anna Faris to deep throat it as Linda Lovelace in biopic	(62)
(Some Guy)		Billy Connolly has been lined up to play a wizard in the final installment of the Harry Potter series. You'll f'n laugh	(62)
		Tom Cruise exhibits his OT-level mind control techniques on reporter asking about anti-Scientology protests in Germany: "I really don't have anything to say about it. Just look at the sunset"	(34)

		Lebron James and Kanye West will be the featured guests for "Saturday Night Live's" 33rd season premiere. Or seventh season of not being funny premiere, depending how you look at it	(52)
		What's less funny than Kathy Griffin? An irate Christian theater troupe	(91)
		Eddie Haskell wants SAG to cough up royalties that it has collected without actors' permission. Also wants everyone to know that Mrs. Cleaver was the original MILF	(34)
		Memorobilia dealer in Simpson case says he has more tapes, including the episode where O.J. goes back in time and has to build a mnemonic memory circuit out of stone knives and bearskins	(67)
(LASnark.com)		Your favorite rock star twins turn 40	(61)
(FMQB)		New study shows that people are listening to the radio even more these days, and that satellite radio interest is dropping. Where's your Stern now?	(70)
		RIAA wants $1.5 billion a year from broadcast radio. Congress asks them how it feels to want after weighing the cash in their suitcase and finding it a little light	(24)
(Some Guy)		Rachael Ray forgets one key ingredient: Prenup... ex-husband says, "Yum-o"	(64)
(People Magazine)		Hasselbeck: Fighting on The View "is like playing softball." Apparently, whoever has the biggest ball wins	(31)
(Some Guy)		Tony Almeida to return to the cast of "24" for Day 7. Wardrobe rumored to include water skis and a leather jacket	(53)
(Some Guy)		Johnny Rotten calls Sting a "soggy old dead carcass." And he has a few other opinions about the current generation of musicians, too	(136)
		Jennifer Aniston's revenge is a hot bod and a shaved punani	(260)
		Yahoo Personals poll finds George Clooney and Jessica Alba the celebrity male and female most singles would want to date; finds that most married men would just like to "hit" Jessica Alba "like the fist of an angry god"	(31)
		Survivor: China tribe members announced, all slots filled -- a hot chick, grizzled old guy, gay dude, angry ethnic type, utility infielder	(19)
		Judge in Britney Spears custody case calls her a drunked-up druggie. Next day, she takes that to heart by hitting the clubs	(31)
		Claire Danes tackles Eliza Doolittle. Professor 'enry 'iggins to beat that ass	(20)
		Cenk Uygur of Air America attempts to sue Stephen Colbert for $65 million for stealing jokes. Tonight's wørd: "Publicity seeker"	(59)
		Upset that they are behind the bars of the county jail; rocker David Bowie makes a donation to the legal fund of the young Americans known as the Jena 6	(85)
(Some Busty Blonde)		Denise Richards wants Charlie Sheen away from their kids. Why? “His attraction to underage women and his sexual explicitness on the Internet, including revealing his private parts.” Classic	(23)
		Kids show asks viewers to name cat. Kids choose P*SSY. Producers falsify poll results. I can has sackings?	(23)
		YouTube's crying Britney Spears fan lands TV deal. "We consider him a rebel character that people will find interesting. He's going to be a TV star."	(110)
		In the worst poll ever, "In Touch Weekly" names Kate Walsh as the hottest redhead, despite the fact that she's not a real redhead. Also, Kathy Griffin is number 7	(72)
(aceshowbiz.com)		Demi Moore punks herself, legally changes her last name to Kutcher after two years of marriage	(19)
		Uwe Boll interview from the AV Club? Like an "Alone in the Dark" movie, you know you want it	(13)
		Paris Hilton banned from Munich’s Oktoberfest for “cheapening” the event	(35)
(Hollywood Reporter)		The next big thing at the movies will be digital 3-D as two major studios plan new 3-D format releases for spring 2009	(31)

(Some Busty Blonde)		Kill the cheerleader, save the Us Weekly reporter: "Heroes" star Hayden Panettiere reportedly threatens to kill Us Weekly staffer	(52)
		Jessica Alba loses a tooth in energetic kissing scene, now only 99% perfect	(59)
(Some Guy)		Inmate files $3.5 million suit against Martha Stewart, will donate any damages he collects to Rachael Ray. That's a buttload of EVOO	(91)
(WIStv.com)		Proving that there is no such thing as bad press, Miss Teen SC signs with Trump modeling agency, could make up to $25,000 a day	(140)
		"Courtney Love wants to launch her own perfume but is worried nobody wants to smell like her." Obvious tag retires	(108)
(Some Guy)		Another character injected into "24." Fox should have the entire cast set soon because THEY ARE RUNNING OUT OF TIME	(48)
		Latino grievance group forces Ken Burns to include more of them in his WWII documentary. So he does. Result? They're still really pissed	(249)
(Some Guy)		"Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" will check back in on its former cast members to see who has slacked off and who stayed dressed as gay as an Ungaro spring frock	(11)
(dailymotion)		The toothless guy during the OJ press conference is "Jake Byrd." He works for "The Jimmy Kimmel Show"	(40)
		Vanessa Hudgens is considering posing for a men's magazine. Reportedly she's picked FHM so she won't have to trim the 1980s-style hedge growing between her legs	(237)
(Some Guy)		Lawyer suing the pants off Vanessa Hudgens	(25)
(Me and Isis)		Penelope Cruz’s Cousin is topless and hot	(3)
(Daily Stab)		Hollywoods newest nude Vanessa Hudgens and her man Zac Efron have split. It appears the two couldn't handle all of this new found "fame"	(28)
(The Paparazzi)		Halle Berry is in Mommy Mode	(14)
(downity)		Apparently having figured out his own problems, Dave Grohl takes to publicly bashing Paris Hilton. The fact that the new Foo Fighters album comes out next week probably doesn't need mentioning, does it?	(73)
(Some Busty Blonde)		What's a girl to do after a long day of being told you have addiction troubles in court? If you're Britney Spears, you stop at the local 7-11 for ice cream and cigarettes	(50)
(Dlisted)		Pic of OJ Simpson's girlfriend. Apparently, she was the one packing the guns (SFW)	(56)
(Some Guy)		Courtney Love and Pete Doherty rumored to be dating in between rehab stints	(21)
		Maybe there's something wrong with your sex life when your wife describes it as being very similar to a graphic horror movie... and somehow means that in a good way	(16)
		Oh look, it's Amy Winehouse looking out her window first thing in the morn -- OH DEAR GOD MY EYES	(159)
(wilwheaton)		Wil Wheaton to appear in an episode of "Family Guy"	(71)
(Some Guy)		George Lucas says "Indiana Jones 4" is better off because Sean Connery dropped out, because "we got a great actor to play the part"	(58)

(DollyMix)		Keira Knightley: "Weight is a big issue in Hollywood because I'm twice the size - height and everything else - of most of the girls." LGT article and pic of Skeletor	(58)
(TMZ)		The judge in the Spears/Cletus custody battle has ordered Britney to undergo testing for the use of controlled substances and alcohol. The testing will be conducted randomly twice a week	(38)
(Some Guy)		Marilyn Manson wants a role in "Spider-Man: The Musical." In other news, someone is making "Spider-Man: The Musical"	(28)
		"Me? Adopt? That's, like, totally retarded." Paris is so articulate when speaking	(39)
(Some Guy)		"Friday the 13th" remake in the works. Except it stars Jason Voorhees, who wasn't in the original. So is that a remake?	(58)
		They say the jury in the Phil Spector trial was hung. And they was right, baby	(124)
(femalefirst.co.uk)		Supermodel Helena Christensen has never lived with a man. Judging from the photo though, she may once have been one	(41)
		Former Britney Spears minder reveals that the star is a drugged-up whore. Also lets it slip that the woman in "The Crying Game" is really a dude	(51)
		Angelina Jolie tells how taking LSD before a trip to Disneyland prepared her for a life with Brad Pitt	(59)
		Open those hailing frequencies. Smokin' hot Zoe Saldana to play Uhura in JJ Abrams' "Trek"	(46)
		Billie Piper's fiance didn't much like her latest role, which called for her to strip and ride a client like a horse. Or, as we call it on Fark, "Tuesday"	(35)
		I see your Led Zeppelin and raise you a Sex Pistols reunion for one gig to celebrate the 30th anniversary of "Never Mind the Bollocks"	(81)
		"Death Proof" -- Quentin Tarantino's half of "Grindhouse" -- to be released on DVD in a new version nearly 30 minutes longer. Because everyone complained Tarantino's part of that movie wasn't long enough	(89)
		Barry Manilow says he is boycotting "The View" because they wouldn't pull Elisabeth Hasselbeck from the show he was scheduled for. In other news, Barry Manilow is still alive	(71)
(Some Guy)		Andy Garcia facing lawsuit over film nobody saw about a man nobody's heard of	(12)
(Some Guy)		Kate Winslet auctioning off her butt. It's a bit sketchy, though	(32)
		Hogwarts has hired its new Potions teacher	(42)
		Fox's new show "Nashville" came in fifth in Nashville... behind local wrestling action	(12)

		Britney lost almost fifty pounds today	(74)
		That movie where the chick is emotionally strong enough to make it through life's challenges tops the box office	(132)
(Some Guy)		The Hollywood sex-tape trend continues as Elisha Cuthbert ("The Girl Next Door") gets cozy in front of the camera	(117)
(Some Guy)		Naomi Campbell a liar? Nahh... well ya, actually	(12)
		"Brett Somers has ______ at the age of 83." Could you repeat the question please?	(141)
		TV execs shocked, *SHOCKED,* that this years Emmy's ratings are the lowest ever. In other news, pulling teeth from a cat, chewing through own arm reach record highs	(37)
(TMZ)		Reports of contract out for K-Fed's life are untrue	(92)
		Madonna declares herself "ambassador for Judaism." And if by "ambassador" she means "dirty whore," then she is absolutely right	(73)
		Richard Gere's "compatibility test" for his dates included hanging numerous pictures of severed heads throughout his home to see "how they related"	(25)
		"Don't let nobody out this room.... Think you can steal my [expletive] and sell it?" said the charming Hall of Fame murderer, Orenthal J. Simpson	(79)
		Fred Goldman 2006: "OJ's 'If I Did It' book is an abomination. It should never be published." Goldman 2007: "We are publi$$hing it to puni$$h OJ"	(66)
		50 Cent is spending $2 million to go on a six-mile trip from one award show to another. Man these gas prices are outrageous	(37)
		Gay rights activists are calling for a media ban on Ja Rule for his recent anti-gay rant. You know, because he gets so much press anyway	(37)
(tPC)		FOX to Sally Field: Suck it	(197)
		"The Sopranos" wins Emmy for best	(47)
		Britney Spears banned from exclusive L.A. restaurant for smearing food all over her face. More Britney being Britney	(62)
		When it comes time to make a list of the top 10 most seductive songs of all time, The Sun is there -- with cheesy clip art	(67)
(Some Busty Blonde)		Spears may lose custody of kids as soon as Monday morning. Plans to show up at court with frozen margarita	(38)
(Some Guy)		From the You're Not Going to Frackin' Believe This Department: "Galactica 1980" to be released on DVD in December. Yes, the Galactica with the underprivileged-kids baseball-camp episode. I am not kidding about this	(33)
(Some Guy)		Hilary Duff don't use jelly, or any of these, she uses Vaseline	(32)
(Some Guy)		Lindsay Lohan tells her dad that she's quitting drugs, leaving Hollywood, and dumping her bad boy lover. Like most dads, he believes his daughter when she lies to him	(15)
(Stars and Stripes)		European wine festival news, brought to you by Stars and Stripes blogger. Etiquette tip No. 1 -- pinot grigio doesn't go well with MREs	(5)
		Old Spice unveils her new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles-inspired look (pics)	(26)