"Colbert Report" to release best-of highlights on DVD. Will contain over 250 episodes on 40 DVDs	(9)
(My Fox Colorado)		Reports from Denver indicate that Godfather of Metal Ozzy Osbourne underwent surgery at a local hospital Saturday night. Ozzy's only comment at discharge: "Mfmmdstle is grsllmt besjridds, Cheers mte"	(6)
		First trailer for "Iron Man" at Comic-Con	(40)
		Matt Groening confirms that the world will end before the Simpsons do. In other news, season 78 starts next month	(39)
(joblo.com)		I've got to say she looked pretty damn good and if it doesn't give you chills to see her and Ford back in character after all these years, then buster, you've got a heart of coal	(31)
(Some Guy)		Simpsons movie takes number one at weekend box office despite your thoughtful 8,000-word blog post about how it is the Worst. Movie. EVAR	(48)
(Some Guy)		Iron Man Trailer From Comic Con	(65)
		Steve Martin gets married, receives a Thermos as a wedding gift. And that's ALL he needs ... and this chair	(167)
		Happy birthday and welcome to the 35-44 age bracket, Wil	(249)
(Some Guy)		Edward Norton rewrote "Incredible Hulk" script to link to other Marvel Comics franchises. "I was a Marvel kid"	(41)
		I wanna Rock and Roll all night, and have arrhythmia every day	(35)
		Karma stops and catches its breath after 18 year pursuit; imprisoned stalker who killed actress Rebecca Schaeffer recovering from 11 stab wounds	(112)
		"I Know Who Killed Me" sucks harder than (insert Lindsay Lohan joke here)	(51)
(TV Squad)		Good news, everyone: New Futurama movie to be released November 27th	(64)
		Latest status symbol for Hollywood stars? Dinosaur skulls	(14)

		"USHER'S WEDDING HAS BEEN CANCELLED," reports his publicist, "but please respect his privacy."	(34)
		Stalker ordered to stay away from JK Rowling and stop sending her threatening mail. Ministry of Magic gives her greenlight to use dreaded Lawyerus curse if the bad behavior continues	(16)
		What might become the biggest film of 2008 isn't even known by name, because everybody involved is under an ironclad gag order	(111)
(Online Casino News)		Golden Palace pays $1000 for a piece of Paris Hilton's dental floss, not realizing that hazardous waste disposal of the same item will end up costing them over $15,000	(12)
(Post Chronicle)		Art critic accuses Italian sculptor of using molds of female breasts rather than the real thing. Art world stunned that there's an artist in existence that can't get a naked woman at the drop of a hat	(6)
(mania.com)		"Shawshank Redemption" and "Green Mile" director says his latest Stephen King adaptation will be "hard-R," with "brutal death scenes and lots of blood"	(37)
(Some Guy)		Germans go insane as state TV bans oompah bands and lederhosen to appeal to younger viewers	(11)
(downity.com)		Dark Knight teaser trailer. "Starting tonight, people will die. I'm a man of my word..."	(83)
		Zsa Zsa's husband found naked in his Rolls Royce, babbling about three female robbers	(40)

		Stephen Colbert breaks his left wrist, is now all right-wing	(17)
(Some Guy)		"Saw IV" gets torturous MPAA rating of doom	(47)
		Karen Allen comes back for "Indiana Jones 4." Still fappable after all these years. (with pic)	(46)
		"The Two Coreys: America's Original Child Stars". Leif Garrett puts down his crackpipe just long enough to say "Hey, what about me?". Bonus: Haim's a fatty now with same hair as 1988	(32)
		Sorry, Farkers. Jessica Alba vows never to disrobe or do a sex scene in a movie	(71)
(Daily Stab)		Pregnant Nicole Richie sentenced to just four days in jail	(37)
(Heeeeere's Some Guy!)		Ed McMahon to host new weekly radio talk show. In other news, Ed McMahon is still alive	(19)
		Johnny Depp wants to play Barnabas Collins in "Dark Shadows."	(35)
(Some Guy)		Catherine Zeta-Jones says she makes her husband Michael Douglas dress up as a chef, wearing nothing but an apron	(42)
		The largest gathering of geeks, nerds, and virgins is going on at Comic-Con in San Diego. Bonus: Includes picture of Jessica Alba to remind convention goers what women look like without kitten ears and tails	(46)
(People Magazine)		Rebecca Romijn's marital advice: "Do it backwards"	(39)
		JK Rowling says she won't stop writing just because Harry Potter is over. After all, she still needs one more Pacific island to complete her set	(245)
		UK pop star Robbie Williams in talks to become new Captain Kirk. The ladies do swoon	(32)
		Sylar to live long and prosper	(29)
(tPC)		Rod Stewart, the consumate parent, gives Tommy Lee permission to boink daughter Kimberly	(34)
		Steven Spielberg threatens to leave post as artistic director of Beijing Olympics unless China falls in line with UN sanctions against Sudan. In other news, Steven Spielberg is artistic director of the Beijing Olympics	(17)
(Some Guy)		New "Star Trek" movie poster unveiled at Comic-Con. Spacy	(50)
		Female inmates breaking into the world of fashion by launching their own clothing line	(5)
		"Zed's dead baby. Zed's dead." Well, not really, but he did just get busted for buying two bags of crack in NYC	(28)
		The Dude abides	(58)
(Some Googly-Eyed Has-Been)		Pia Zadora emerges from whatever cave she's been hiding in since the late 80's and presents Fark with what could be the best crazy-eyed picture, ever	(36)
		I-Mockery reviews the greatest kung fu movie to ever come out of Harlem, "The Last Dragon". Sho'nuff	(29)

		Ryan Adams' new album Easy Tiger is incredible, but due to his releasing 85,000 songs a year no one wants to hear it	(40)
		During a photo-shoot meant to clean up her image, Britney lets her dog poop on a $7,000 dress, uses another $14,000 dress as a napkin, and repeatedly takes a leak with the bathroom door wide open. Yep, that'll do it	(26)
		Excellent sign that maybe the next Indy Jones movie won't suck	(43)
(Some Guy)		Lindsey Lohan's lawyer gives her advice: "Whatever you have done in the past, do a 360-degree turn and go the other way." You know, that sure explains a lot	(107)
(gamespy.com)		Iron Maiden, ZZ Top, Dragonforce confirmed on setlist for Guitar Hero III. Your face is pre-melting	(90)
(popbytes)		Jamie-Lynn Spears may one-up her big sis in the trailer trash sweepstakes with a teenage illegitimate pregnancy	(67)
		Rep for Naomi Watts says she's NOT in the next Harry Potter movie. Not till they add a few more zeroes to the check, at least	(21)
		Roger Ebert marvels that "The Simpsons Movie" has already passed "Gone With the Wind" on IMDB's Best Movies of All Time	(45)
(Some Guy)		Bart Simpson's voice admits she joined Scientology to find a husband	(39)
		Tom Hanks and Spielberg start filming the "Band Of Brothers" companion series "The Pacific" this year	(100)
		J.K. Rowling answers SOME of the questions left after Harry 7. Spoilers for those who have not finished the book	(138)
(Some Guy)		Matt Damon says, "Jason Bourne saved my careeer." Matt Damon	(68)
		Coming soon: "Blade Runner: The Final Cut" Deckard meets a replicant Roger Waters?	(38)
(Some Guy)		Naomi Watts to play Narcissa Malfoy in the next Harry Potter film. All is well	(27)
		Doctor Who to bring back one of its scariest aliens	(67)
(Some Guy)		ABC's "Cavemen" under fire for racially stereotyping main characters' athletic, sexual, and dancing prowess. Defenders point to archaeological data proving Neanderthals were original discoverers of how to shake their groove thing	(56)
		James Bond really is an idiot	(175)
		Obvious: Oprah is TV's highest paid performer. Interesting: Simon Cowell comes in second. Asinine: Judge Judy ranks third	(33)
(Fangoria)		Vicki Lawrence set to join Hilary Duff in new perverted-hillbilly horror flick "as she portrays a brutal and sadistic killer—Mama style"	(21)
		The 50 coolest movie robots ever	(52)
		Dust off those Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaalt-o-meters, Michael will be back for season 4 of "Lost"	(44)
		They tried to make her go to rehab, she should go...go...go (with horrifying pics)	(108)
(Some Guy)		Shatner responds to media reports that he's angry about being left out of "Star Trek XI" (video)	(57)
(CHUD)		Rob Zombie talks "Halloween," and state of the horror genre in 2007	(43)

		Top 25 ads of the past 25 years. Where's your Life Alert now?	(50)
		George Lucas agrees that Han shot first. Returns to buffet for seconds	(171)
(TMZ.com)		"Make no mistake, you will come-to in front of your disappointed parents with a face full of Sharpie and the sneaking suspicion that you've been teabagged by one of Time Magazine's 100 most influential people"	(22)
(WWTDD.com)		Jessica Alba is single. Line forms to the right	(33)
(Daily Stab)		Juliette Lewis and Mischa Barton fight to be the next 'Bond Girl'	(50)
		Crowded House releases new album. Hey Now, Heeyyy now it's really over. Hey now, heeyy now you're bunch of has beens	(47)
(Some Guy)		Dina Lohan pulls out of a three-way with two frat boys long enough to proclaim support and concern for her daughter	(28)
(Daily Stab)		Matt Damon is honored with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame today	(26)
		Hulk Hogan joins QVC to sell his new "Ultimate Grill." It's just like the George Foreman grill, but it isn't real	(27)
		"The Simpsons" stands as mankind's greatest achievement	(44)
		ABC announces special three-night premiere of "Has-Been Stars Dancing With Extremely Hot, Scantily-Clad Instructors"	(11)
		Four out of five cosmetic surgery patients report they’ve been influenced by extreme makeover reality TV	(78)
		Actor Daniel Radcliffe gets access to his $47 million fortune now that he's 18, celebrates with taking potions class at the local pub	(58)
		Paulie Walnuts and Bobby Bacala to visit Sesame Street, appear in "Elmo's Christmas Countdown." The episode depicts Elmo waiting for Santa, and as Santa visits Elmo, suddenly he	(73)
(Some Guy)		Paul McCartney agrees to £50m divorce deal. Anyone that believes she doesn't deserve it isn't putting themselves in her shoe	(33)
		Kelly Clarkson has only kissed five boys in her life because she's scared of catching herpes	(60)
(Some Guy)		Courtney Love is planning more corrective surgery to fix her "wonky" lips	(17)
		Lindsay Lohan trainwreck timeline (with un-fappable mugshot goodness)	(37)
(The Superficial)		Hot but mildly retarded reality TV star Adrianne Curry dons gold bikini she found at Target or someplace (SFW)	(39)
(People)		In an effort to prove that she's not a selfish farktard, Paris Hilton arrives at a charity event... 20 minutes after it already ended	(15)
(Entertainment Weekly)		Jimmy Fallon or Carson Daly to replace Conan? Stick in the eye or a cock punch?	(72)
		Marc Anthony to tour with J-Lo, steal her covers	(11)
		Rapper whose lyrics call for choking snitches plans to attend a "Peace on the Streets" rally	(43)
		Lohan claims coke found in her pockets during pre-booking search was not hers. No word on the two tickets they found to La Boheme. It's an opera	(96)
(Hollywood Reporter)		Discovery Channel looks into allegations surfacing of "Man versus Wild versus the Hotel Mini Bar"	(344)
		Clouds resembling singer Amy Winehouse seen over Britain. No, we're cirrus (pic)	(37)
(Some Guy)		11 things you may not know about Star Wars	(37)
		Scarlett Johansson serves a smack down to all her haters regarding her nose ring, "It's all about my creative side and I personally look lovely. So what exactly is the problem with it?"	(85)
(E Online)		New Spock is a lock	(42)

(Some Guy)		Metal Gear Solid 4 gameplay video released, and it is lookin' mighty fine	(71)
		Harry Potter defeated by Jessica Biel's smoking body. ACCIO BOOBIES	(35)
		Amy Winehouse urged to get help after forgetting the words at a concert, failing to execute nipple slip	(39)
(Some Guy)		Enrique Iglesias reveals he recorded his debut album in Toronto because he could rent porn there without being recognized. "What I did was go to the studio, eat Chinese food and watch porn"	(12)
(ICYDK)		Paris Hilton pretends other people exist outside her social circle by doing some two-biatcharity thing	(13)
(Some AW)		Daughter of Robert Kardashian walks red carpet at benefit for the Nicole Brown foundation. Wow. Just wow	(133)
(The Hollywood Story)		Lindsay Lohan's mugshot from earlier this morning	(90)
(VGB)		If the World of Warcraft were a nation, it would be the 90th most populated country on Earth -- above Haiti, but behind Sweden	(120)
		Walter "Chekov" Koenig urges Star Trek fans to help overthrow the military junta ruling in Myanmar. The much-feared "Basement Brigade" is called to formation	(99)
		Gloria Allred to represent Scary Spice in paternity suit against Eddie Murphy. In 48 Hours he will be Delirous because of the Raw deal (with scary-ass pic)	(30)
		Comic anti-hero "Hex" comes to big screen. The world yawns, but is grateful that it's not another movie remake of a bad 70s TV show	(37)
		Lindsay Lohan books the Paris Hilton Suite at the L.A. county jail after getting busted for DUI. Again	(511)
		Lindsay Lohan has a bet with her friends that she can steal David Beckham. Good luck with that	(47)
(Some Guy)		Two-time Oscar winner Hillary Swank confirmed to be joining already stellar "Iron Man" cast by befuddled Marvel Studios producer	(49)
		The Guardian picks the top 50 comedies of all time. No. 7 should be No. 1, man, that's the issue here	(178)
(Some Guy)		Trailer for new Pakistani zombie horror flick. With midget zombie goodness	(13)

(Daily Innuendo)		Jessica Alba in GQ Magazine, August 2007. (Safe for work, but maybe not your blood pressue)	(81)
		Radio station offers Kevin Federline a temporary DJ job. However, thousands of outraged listeners scuttle the plans	(18)
		Drew Carey, come on down... you're the new host of "The Price Is Right"	(226)
		Soon-to-be MILF Campbell Brown leaves NBC, moves to CNN	(34)
		In a special report for CNet, Ric Romero would like you to know that there is a website on the Internet that offers still images of movie nude scenes	(14)
		Todd McFarlane says his famous superhero won't talk or be seen in "Spawn 2"	(69)
		Nobody realizes it, but Milli Vanilli really did ruin the music industry	(60)
(Ars Technica)		According to NBC, what is P2P sharing destroying? A) Innocent recording artists. B) Poor local movie theaters. Or C) Corn growers	(56)
		NEWSFLASH: Matt Groening reveals that Marge Simpson's hairstyle was inspired by the Bride of Frankenstein. Apparently MSNBC thinks this is a big deal	(37)
		Lindsay Lohan: "I drove them all mad wandering around completely naked. They kept telling me to quit, but it was so much fun to tease all those boys. I just couldn't stop it"	(255)
(Honolulu Advertiser)		Jack Johnson accompanies 480 ukulele players for Guinness World Record attempt, free bar towels	(24)
		This mugshot brought to you by Mindy McCready, who continues to live country songs instead of singing them	(60)
		Not news: Steve Coogan has a new show. Fark: You're writing it	(19)
		Jack Bauer would comment about his new boss President Allison Taylor next year on "24" but HE'S RUNNING OUT OF TIME	(24)
		Fox hypes a soon to be canceled TV show, because all the good ones cannot survive	(41)