(Some Mudblood)		Deathly Hallows Chapter Names + Epilogue leak (scroll down a bit)	(15)
(Some Guy)		Aaron Eckhart spills the beans on Two-Face	(6)
(Some Guy)		Sci-Fi Channel announces new reality TV show	(11)
		Meet the real-life Dumbledore: J K Rowling's Classics Prof at Exeter University	(3)
(Some Guy)		No task is more daunting to a newspaper editor than changing the comics page. "I remember when B.C. started in '58. We'd get calls saying 'What're those things supposed to be? Hoboes? Bring back Buz Sawyer"	(21)
		CNN responds to Moore's criticisms of CNN's criticisms of Sicko, in surprisingly effective and complete fashion	(96)
		Just when you thought VH1's programming couldn't get any crappier, celebrity blogger and all-around douchebag "Perez Hilton" says he will have a show on the network	(26)
(Duke Chronicle)		Duke student newspaper incorrectly states Starship Enterprise has cloaking device; Trekkie letter to the editor hilarity ensues. Duke sucks	(123)
		In case you were wondering, Rebecca Romijn is officially off the market again	(30)
		£10 million being spent on security to prevent any leaks of the latest Harry Potter book	(163)
(Some Real Guy)		Jennifer Love Hewitt looks like a real woman	(117)
(CareFair.com)		Jessica Simpson says plastic surgery is possible later on	(12)
		Some rapper who you're never heard of has been arrested for attempted murder in Manhattan	(35)
(US Magazine)		After much searching, Britney Spears has found a boyfriend who looks just as stupid as K-Fed	(35)
(Some Guy)		Synopsis of the most-watched episode of a TV show ever, which is almost never shown on TV	(30)
		Rosie O'Donnell uses giant doctored photo of Elizabeth Hasselbeck to illustrate to fellow gay cruise travelers what she really thinks of former "Survivor" contestant	(66)
		Newspaper religion reporter determines Harry Potter is Jesus Christ	(26)

		65-year old Harrison Ford doing many of his own stunts for new Indiana Jones movie, "looks great" according to one producer. Apparently she hasn't looked at his face lately. He looks a Mr. Potato Head covered in burlap	(37)
(Some Guy)		A look inside Disneyland's Sleeping Beauty Castle, forever closed to the public after 9/11	(19)
(Cracked)		11 movies saved by their historical inaccuracy	(42)
(The Superficial)		James Blunt sold his sister on eBay. You'd bid on it. (pics)	(16)
(Some Guy)		Caption these wizards	(91)
		Mark Hamill and David Prowse reunite to talk about Star Wars. The Sun is there	(25)
(Some Guy)		Former WB affiliate: Let me show you my Pokemans. FCC: OK, that'll be $15,000. Squirtle can has fine?	(36)
(Some Guy)		After success of newly-reinvented, realistic, gritty 007 in "Casino Royale," Daniel Craig announces next film will be going "Octopussy" route	(35)
(Some Guy)		Joshua Bell didn't receive any donations while playing violin in Washington, DC subway because he isn't a very good street musician	(15)
		Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse. Britney applies for a job as a cocktail waitress	(30)
(Some Guy)		Kelly Clarkson to Clive Davis. "You're 80; you're not supposed to like my album"	(39)

		Metallica's Kirk Hammett says he never recovered from seeing a neighbour having sex with his dog when he was 11. Which kind of explains why Metallica has been screwing the pooch for the last 11 years	(41)
(Digitalspy)		Kiefer Sutherland says in next season of "24" Jack Bauer will turn evil. He should start growing a goatee, then, because he's RUNNING OUT OF TIME	(31)
		Why did Elisha Cuthbert cross the road? To prove she's as stupid as her "24" character	(49)
		Believe it or not, "Cops" has been on the air for 20 years, as hard to put down as a slippery naked guy on PCP	(142)
		I-Mockery's look at the 10 best things about "Star Wars: A New Hope". Han shot first	(41)
		Nicole Richie: "The one thing I always look for in a guy is for them to be circumcised"	(77)
		New album will feature Barry Manilow singing "Don't Go Breaking My Heart" with Rosie O'Donnell. Suck it, every sentient life form on the planet	(31)
		"The Simpsons" to release an album containing songs and song parodies from past few years' episodes	(45)
(Kung Fu Monkey)		The Transformers' screenwriter ridicules the right-wingers who claim the movie is a celebration of conservative Republican values	(81)
		Nintendo just passed Sony in market capitalization. Wii, God, Wii?	(44)
		Misspelling Shia LaBeouf and Cate Blanchett's names is understandable, but c'mon, AP, "Raiders of the Lost Arc?"	(42)
		Producers tell Eva Longoria to keep her legs closed so they don't have to write a pregnancy into Desperate Housewives	(18)
(Some Guy)		What ever happened to Dave Attell? Even his official site gives up after 2005	(58)
(Some horns-throwing headbanger)		AquaNet stock given a "buy" advisory on news of Rocklahoma bringing together Poison, Dokken, and Twisted Sister	(18)
		Top Indian illusionist to open his own version of Hogwarts. Neville expected to be shunned after double helping of Bertie Botts Vindaloo Beans	(5)
(Some Guy)		Movie reviewer says Harry Potter fans "narcissistic, spoiled brats", put spell on his lawn	(70)
(Some Guy)		CBS gives Katie Couric a full vote of confidence. Yankee fans know this to mean there will be a new anchor for CBS Evening News before long	(15)
		Noted documentarian Ken Burns is ready to debut his documentary on WWII, which will last three years longer than the time the U.S. was actually involved in that war	(160)
(Some Guy)		Guy Pearce and Don Cheadle to star in CIA espionage thriller written by Steve Martin. Will feature sniper who really hates cans	(25)
(Some Guy)		Cover of new "Star Trek" manga comic, featuring story penned by some guy with his own Fark tag	(21)
		I'm not a full-fledged devotee of the Nithyananda group, that's what so insane about this	(5)
		New Star Wars video game makes you Darth Vader's apprentice. Dark geeks felt a great disturbance in the force	(162)

		SoundExchange exec promises -- in front of Congress -- not to kill online radio on Monday	(41)
		Moliere gets a "Shakespeare In Love" style film adaptation. The film will surely pump your nads, you neo maxi zoom dweebies. Hot beef injection. Answer the question, Claire	(18)
		Miss America pageant officials rule Miss New Jersey was not whorish enough and is allowed to keep her crown. Gracie Lee Hart unavailable for comment	(67)
		Broadway show gives away free tickets to virgins. So if Fark seems a little slow tonight, everyone's at the theatre	(19)
(Some Guy)		Some drummer and some bad actress are getting a divorce, and this time they are serious	(31)
(Variety)		Hollwood tyrant Harvey Weinstein reacts mildly to depiction of self on "Entourage"	(13)
(The Superficial)		Britney not only looks like homeless white trash, she now is homeless white trash	(29)
(Some Guy)		Drew Barrymore is making the rounds when it comes to men. Zach Braff and Spike Jonze are out. Who's next?	(50)
(Cinematical)		Kevin Costner spins The Wheel of Successful Kevin Costner Movies to determine his next role. No baseball, no baseball... almost the Kennedys... it's gonna be a western	(175)
		Charlie Sheen gets engaged to his soon-to-be-second ex-wife	(15)
(Christian Post)		When Ray Comfort isn't scaring the crap out of atheists with his banana, he's busy writing books about how to transform idol-worshipping Hollywood into a 24/7 Jesus bonanza	(35)
(Some Guy)		Victoria Beckham looks like a "Robo-ho" in W magazine pics	(72)
(Digital Spy)		Actress Calista Flockhart says she has "zero" ambition, body fat	(20)
(Dread Central)		Uwe Boll's "Postal" movie gets a great review. If you can't exploit the comedic value of 9-11, then the terrorists have won	(57)
		Bruce Springsteen to release new E Street album in fall. Record company hoping this will signal a return to their glory days	(45)
		The Beckhams strip down for "W" magazine photo shoot. Finally we'll get to see if his tits are bigger than hers	(44)
(Some Guy)		A leading expert on Marilyn Monroe is outraged. Says, "Marilyn did not stink"	(31)
		Actor Daniel Radcliffe says he's not too old to play Harry Potter, and his new dentures are just perfect for eating at Country Kitchen	(27)
		Comedienne Phyllis Diller sidelined by back injury. In other news, Phyllis Diller is still alive	(61)
(TV Guide)		Rosie O'Donnell wanted to "gay up" The Price is Right as host by adding confetti and chorus boys	(20)
(Some Guy)		"Heroes'" Sylar may eat Spock's brain	(54)
(JoBlo)		Michael Moore's next movie will be so ghey	(282)
(Some Guy)		Hollywood is out of ideas but not prequels: "Dracula: Year Zero" to tell early years of world's favorite vampire	(27)
		Brian May completes Ph.D. in Astrophysics after 33-year detour with Queen	(36)
		Muggle Roger Ebert is disturbed that "Harry Potter" movies keep getting darker. "Can the series continue to live in PG-13 land?"	(56)

		If the thought of Michael Douglas & Catherine Zeta knocking knees isn't enough to make you barf, then the sleazy pickup routine he used to get into her pants surely will	(22)
		Steve Buscemi is making a film that "includes head wounds, shouting, and kissing." He is also ready to eat your soul (pic)	(33)
		Court TV finally changes their name to reflect their programming since live court cases are now shown about as much as MTV shows music videos	(27)
		Nicole Richie will have to wait to follow in Paris' footsteps just a little longer. (With Nicole doing her best fluffer imitation pic)	(12)
(Some Guy)		Kool and the Gang: "Old people are cool." Translation: "Kool and the Gang are old"	(20)
(The Superficial)		Is Lindsay Lohan switching teams to date her massively ugly girlfriend? (SFW, not for eyes)	(67)
		The company with the finely-honed eye for talent that gave us JACK-FM and the David Lee Roth morning show has settled on its replacement for Imus . . . (drum roll) . . . Boomer Esiason	(18)
		Keanu Reeves will not star in the next Bill and Ted movie because his agent fears it would ruin his career	(197)
(comingsoon.net)		New movie set to be released in 2008 titled "10,000 B.C." features man vs. dinosaur action. In other news, director Roland Emmerich awarded honorary PhD from Liberty University	(37)
(KSBY)		Duct tape use #770: Prom dress and suit	(20)
		Pop princess Kylie is pictured as Astrid in filming for the Christmas special of "Doctor Who"	(69)
(Dotspotter)		Paris puffs	(58)
(Ren McCormack)		"I thought this was a party. LET'S DANCE!" That's right folks, they're remaking "Footloose"	(48)
		Is Xanadu a stately pleasure dome? Naaaah. It's Crapadu	(15)
		The worst casting decisions ever made	(220)
		British comedian admits from beyond the grave that he was a racist after all -- is this what's meant by having the last laugh?	(25)
		Alec Baldwin respectfully asks that you do not go see the film he acted and directed in six years ago which is now being re-edited and released under a pseudonym because he farked it all up	(24)
		Daniel Radcliffe warns fans he will kick them out of bed if they call him Harry Potter during sex	(39)
		The new Barbarella is Halle Berry. Here is to hoping the remake still contains the orgasmatron	(43)
		New "Get Smart" trailer with Steve Carell misses it by that much	(80)

		Actor Charles Lane dies at age 102. Who? You know that guy who was in over 200 movies and on I Love Lucy. Oh, him. Who?	(30)
(Some Guy)		Charlie Sheen engaged to prostitute. Oops, jumped to conclusions there. She's a real estate investor	(15)
		Springfield, VT. chosen as the home of the Simpsons. Vermont is a state?	(70)
(IDLYITW.com)		Lindsay Lohan stretches her acting talents by being cast as a drugged out stripper who winds up dead	(21)
(Mollygood.com)		Paris Hilton makes children cry	(16)
(Some rich dude)		Denise Richards isn't a gold-digging whore with no job; she's just spending 50k to find the millionaire of her dreams like any woman looking for real love would do	(32)
		Five years too late, BET finally listens to Aaron MacGruder and airs a show poking fun at the silliness that is much of Black culture. Of course, people are up in arms	(78)
		"Why do you want to put a clothespin on your nuts? You know why? Because that’s what I do for a living.” (Second section down)	(75)
(People Magazine)		Meet the Reverend Tori Spelling	(183)
		Steve Jobs sees no reason you would want to use your iPhone as an iPod substitute	(45)
(Some Guy)		Jailbait Hayden Panettiere candids on the beach in a bikini	(84)
		Top 11 rejected Transformers	(92)
		The basement nation speaks as one and votes Gandalf England's favourite wizard	(33)
		Live Earth sets Internet record with 10 million live streams	(30)
(Some Guy)		Monday was the 25th anniversary of "Tron." END OF LINE	(42)

		ABC takes a hit from the reality bong and understands their show Cavemen really IS a retarded idea	(54)
(NBC5 Chicago)		Hollywood hotties don't always grow up to be a MILF. Some of them turn into, WTF?	(133)
(Columbia Missourian)		Beyonce visits fans in ER after they were injured by pyrotechnics at her concert	(20)
		Daniel Radcliffe says he would never date an actress because they are "insane" and "female"	(61)
		Sony/BMG to Prince: "If you give away your new CD in England, we won't let you sell it there." Prince to Sony/BMG: "My name is Prince, and you can suck it"	(86)
		Smoking hot Diana Krall's tour rider. No, it's not Elvis Costello. The Smoking Gun is there	(56)
		Harry Potter series spawns new genre of music, wizard rock. Warning: requires taking hallucinogens so you think you are Harry Potter	(33)
(Some Blog)		One of the contestants for this year's "Big Brother" is noted as a 'former pro football player'. So he was in the NFL? No. The CFL? No. The AFL? No. Some obscure Finnish American-style football team? Bingo	(14)
		Actress Toni Collette announces she's pregnant. This will be wonderful news for any of the three or four people who actually know who the hell she is	(53)
		Paris Hilton goes clubbing for the first time since being released from jail. No word on how many times she was penetrated afterward	(25)
(Robotech Farker)		Top 10 80's toys that need to be a movie. Transformers oddly missing from the list. Oh, wait	(108)
		Catherine Zeta-Jones uses caviar shampoo that costs $400 each time she washes her hair; which explains why she had nothing to do with Live Earth	(29)
		Moby is 'disgusted' that they were selling meat products at Live Earth concerts	(106)
(Some KITT)		Another 80's movie about to go down the tubes. When does filming start on TJ Hooker?	(39)
		BBC fined after faking a contest winner on the "Blue Peter" childrens television show. In other news, the BBC has a children TV show named "Blue Peter"	(21)
		J.K. Rowling says "never say never" to writing another Harry Potter book. Makes those "Harry dies" rumors a bit less believable	(57)
		Rachel Ray may soon be single again, looking for suitors to put their EVOO into her Yum-O	(81)
		The next time you're bored with nothing to do, consider filing a complaint with Wikipedia, and make sure you mention the lava lamp	(5)
		Viewing figures show that UK audiences helped to support Live Earth by not watching it on television	(27)
		Amy Winehouse cancels sold-out show so she can go get drunk in a pub, and The Sun is there, with pics	(51)
(Some womyn)		From the mighty pen of feminist Gloria Steinem comes this proposal for "prick flicks"	(68)