Step 1. Overexpose celebrities. Step 2. Make articles about celebrities being overexposed. Step 3. Profit	(0)
		NBC and Dickwolf reach last-minute agreement to keep Law and Order and its progeny on the air, thereby saving half of NBC's primetime schedule	(8)
		Worried about her upcoming prison term starting June 5, Paris Hilton is going to learn Karate and seven other Japanese words	(66)
		Former SNL cast member believes his wife and daughter have been replaced by imposters, was arrested for harassing them two years ago and has been in jail without a trial date ever since	(25)
		Actress Keira Knightley says she is stripping off on screen so often that film fans will soon be pleading with her to keep her clothes on	(24)
(Some Guy)		J.K. Rowling: "I might do an eighth [Harry Potter] book for charity, a kind of encyclopedia of the world so I could use all the extra material that's not in the books."	(48)
		Ladies and gentlemen, Serbia has won this year's Eurovision Song Contest	(24)
		Cameron Diaz likes to watch topless beauties "rub slime on each other"	(26)
(Trek Web)		Bryan Singer suffers through some Trekkie's grilling on "Star Trek XI," which he has nothing to do with. Still no answers for "Superman Returns"	(26)
(Some Guy)		Poster art for Michael Moore's "Sicko" may cause involuntary butt clenching	(38)
(EW.com)		The biggest film of the Tribeca Film Festival was directed by...Fred Durst? You sure? Well, it can't be *that* Fred Durst, can it? It is? What the hell?	(17)
		Nicolas Cage to play Al Capone in "Untouchables" prequel	(34)

(Some Dutch Paper)		Bob Geldof claims Al Gore stole the idea for "Live Earth" from "Live Aid." Wants credit for inventing the Internet, too	(46)
(Some Old Geezer)		"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that." Happy Birthday George Carlin-- Here's a list of 100 of his greatest lines	(192)
		Hollywood braces for writer's strike. OH NOEZ11 Who will dredge up shows from the 70s? Who will mail in sequel after sequel?	(85)
		First the fourth season was Battlestar Galactica's last. Now it may not be. Either way, Galactica 2009 is in planning stages	(36)
		Shakespeare to be adapted for manga. Kenneth Branagh last seen hacking into a cyberbrain	(68)
		"Kirstie Alley crawled into a cage at the makeshift animal shelter and cooed to a black calf. 'He's decided he's going to poo on me'"	(20)
		Old and busted: Donald Trump feuding with Rosie O'Donnell. New hotness: Donald Trump feuding with Mavs owner Mark Cuban. Bonus: Trump, with dead ferret on his head, makes fun of Cuban's looks	(34)
		The Game arrested on suspicion of making criminal threats and having a criminally-stupid rap name	(16)
		NBC enlists bionic woman to lift ratings	(16)
(IDLYITW)		Is Halle Berry pregnant? Are you the father? (pic goodness)	(29)
(Some Guy)		Woman attacks Prince on stage (with pic)	(25)
		Lego - the company so non-violent that for years it refused to produce green bricks in case boys used them to build tanks – begins supplying its action figures with guns for first time	(141)
		Sheryl Crow is officially now a MILF after adopting baby boy	(14)
		There will be a 7th season of Scrubs . . . which would be great news if season 6 didn't suck so badly	(38)
		"Star Wars" voted most influential visual effects movie of all time. "My Dinner With Andre" angrily demands recount	(25)

		PC gone wild: Disney worried movie not due for at least two years will be "racially offensive"	(193)
(Cinematical)		MPAA gives controversial soon-to-be-released Captivity an R rating, guaranteeing its release on June 22nd. That's Captivity. June 22nd. Captivity	(20)
(Egotastic!)		Britney Spears: officially retarded	(52)
(If It's Movies)		"Pirates of the Caribbean" spinoffs coming soon	(22)
		You knew it was coming: the "Celebrity Media Apology" already reduced to a pathetic marketing gimmick	(78)
		This film has been rated R by the MPAA for strong language, sexual content and...smoking?	(120)
		Authorities say Paris Hilton probably won't serve full sentence. May only stay long enough to film couple of pornos with guards	(28)
(Some Guy)		"As if having Kate Moss as a guiding figure wasn’t enough, Courtney Love has apparently now taken Lindsay Lohan under her wing too."	(17)
(Some Guy)		School boy after Kate Moss turns down his request for an autograph: "Can I at least have some coke?"	(24)
		Scarlett Johanssen and her gorgeous boobs have been charmed by the wily sex machine that is Van Wilder. Tara Reid unavailable for comment	(59)
(Some Dillion Panther Fan)		Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, CAN'T LOSE - Showing intelligence not normally seen in television execs, NBC has renewed Friday Night Lights for a full season	(40)
		Michael Moore took a little trip to Cuba with 9/11 rescue workers this February. U.S. Treasury is not amused	(22)
		Johnny Depp says he would be interested in doing a fourth Pirates of the Caribbean movie if it “was done for the right reason$.”	(37)

(Some Cokehead)		Lindsay Lohan reported to be inconsolable about tabloid pictures. Maybe a little nose candy will console her	(52)
		The best profile of Bob Barker you'll read all day	(33)
(wwtdd)		The Free Paris Hilton petition has 19,881 sigs. The Jail Paris Hilton petition has 40,237	(89)
		K-Fed (pot) calls Britney's new man (kettle) trash (black)	(31)
(Dark Horizons)		Further evidence that Hollywood is out of ideas: Plans announced for Terminators 4 through 6	(61)
		More and more women come forward claiming Phil Spector pulled guns on them. In other news, Phil Spector is still welcome at most steakhouses in Los Angeles	(55)
		Josephine Baker's bare breasts 1, U.S. Postal Service 0. (No pics, unfortunately)	(25)
(Some Guy)		Movie boss -- who wrote a letter to Lindsay Lohan reprimanding her for her tardiness on the set of "Georgia Rule" last year -- has hailed the actress as a "nice, decent person"	(20)
		Jessica Simpson gets into wrong car leaving her hotel, thought there were buffalo wings inside	(24)
(Variety)		Fox eager to make "Terminator" TV series, then cancel it	(32)
(Some Guy)		Melanie Griffith losing battle with old age: Sharp knees, frying-pan face. However, she can always fall back on her acting skills	(51)
		HBO chief ousted for unsanctioned bouts with various girlfriends	(9)
(TMZ)		Rob Zombie didn't want to deal with the paparazzi after leaving a restaurant, so he told them David Hasselhoff was inside and "getting tanked." Between this and that hot wife of his, Mr. Zombie is so awesome	(36)
		New Order has broken up on MySpace. Fan inconsolable	(48)
		Someone finally taught Tootie the facts of life	(16)
		George Lucas' company IL&M didn't work on "Spider-Man 3" because he thought it was a "silly, silly movie." The man is right -- who needs whiny brats turning evil and wearing black costumes?	(115)
(TV Squad)		Wil reviews more of the first season of "Star Trek: TNG"	(34)

(TV Series Finale)		NBC dumps "The Real Wedding Crashers" into dumpster, along with the leftover stuffed chicken breasts and stale champagne	(38)
(Some zombie)		Not news: A musical is made out of a film. News: The film is "Evil Dead." Fark: It stars Mustard Man	(104)
		Audience for "Heroes" going down faster than Lindsay Lohan's nose on a rail of blow	(85)
		Brad Pitt denies he is playing He-Man in a live movie adaptation of the cartoon character, but there are plenty of actresses in the running to play Skeletor	(14)
		Ashley Judd receives University of Kentucky degree 21 years after enrolling. Duke sucks	(29)
(Star Bulletin)		United plane returns to LAX gate so that Dog the Bounty Hunter and his family can be removed from flight after refusing to buy second seat for Beth's boobs	(154)
		Paris' pardon plea laughed out of governor's office	(461)
		That guy who bid $10 million on the General Lee on eBay? Yeah, it's looking like he doesn't really have $10 million	(68)
(Some Drunk Musician)		If you live near the Hamptons, it is highly recommended you stay off the roads today. Billy Joel turns 59	(11)
(TMZ)		Don Rickles says he's teh ghey, with video	(49)
		Michael Douglas, on his father, Kirk Douglas, after a 20-minute pause: "Ultimately, you were a great father." Kirk tells Michael to get off his lawn	(2)
		Nine TV sketch-comedy characters that should've been recurring characters, including Dana Carvey and Stephen Colbert in the lost bit of genius "Skinheads from Maine"	(13)
		Broadcast TV loses 2.5 million viewers in one year. Producers of "The Real Wedding Crashers" and executives who cancelled "Drive" blame daylight savings time and DVRs	(268)
(Some Guy)		Artwork for The Smashing Pumpkins' new album "Zeitgeist" has been stolen. From the description of it, the thief may have done the world a favor	(37)
(Some Farkette)		Tammy Faye has stopped cancer treatments	(51)
(Dark Horizons)		Dino De Laurentiis remaking "The Swarm," only it's not about killer bees, but aliens on the ocean floor judging us for our inhumanity. So it's "The Abyss," only it's not. Dune sucks	(24)
(TMZ)		Rikki Lake's status upgraded from orca to hittable. In other news, dogs and cats seen living together	(93)
		George Lucas planning on making two Star Wars TV movies. Won't somebody please think of the ewoks?	(211)
		Jamie Lynn Sigler, on her pop music career: "There was no creative process at all. I was faking it the whole time"	(25)
		Film makers now using NASA technology. They don't hold a candle to Stanley Kubrick	(15)
		Jerry's guitar brings $312,000, or one dollar per minute it was used playing "Dark Star"	(26)
(wwtdd)		How surprised would you be to see that Paris Hilton is still driving her car?	(322)
		Cate Blanchett: Skeletor one day, perfect the next?	(26)
		Up next for the genius behind "Desperado," "From Dusk Till Dawn," "Sin City" and "Grindhouse" -- the long-awaited film adaptation of... "The Jetsons"?	(53)
(Some Guy)		Caption Alec Baldwin's view	(89)
		News: Cable company wants to show new movies on the same day they open in theaters. Fark: For $30 to $50	(31)
		Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt ban their kids from seeing movies in which they shoot guns. They're still okay with showing your kids they can solve problems with a Tec-9, as long as they're cashing those multi-million dollar paychecks	(25)
		Billy Ray Cyrus booted off of "Dancing With the Stars"; contemplates regrowing mullet and fading into obscurity again	(12)
(Esquire)		Joan Rivers: "I started thinking about jokes while I was walking uptown on 9/11." World: You ceased being funny about 10 years before that	(17)

(Some Guy)		Thought YOU had an expensive date? Guy blows $55 million on Anne Hathaway. Oh yeah, and he stole it	(31)
		Disney strikes deal with Cox to disable ad skipping on digital recorders. The only surprising thing is it took this long to do it	(24)
		Stop the presses! Bruce Willis believes there was a conspiracy to kill JFK	(23)
		Kathy Hilton stands behind her daughter, which is pretty damn brave considering where her daughter's behind has been	(26)
		Grammy Awards preparing for 50th anniversary of ceremony, 40th anniversary of irrelevance	(11)
		More than a million people have paid in advance to find out Harry Potter dies in book seven	(267)
		Singer Avril Lavigne writes many of her songs while drunk	(71)
(eCanadaNow)		Paris Hilton has created a petition directed to Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger to ask that she be pardoned from any jail time	(286)
		Shakira strikes up a friendship with Angelina Jolie. Hopefully, tickling and pillow fights will soon follow	(19)
		John Wayne's daughter-in-law is behind the re-release of some of his greatest movies. The Duke doesn't suck	(41)
		Paris Hilton re-hires publicist Elliot Mintz after realizing that all the other publicists who deal with train wrecks are currently taken	(17)
(Some Guy)		Disney to release "Pirates 3" a few hours early in attempt to regain box-office record from "Spider-Man 3"	(45)
		Angelina Jolie catches paparazzo who cut a hole in the fence at her rented Czech estate to snap pics of her family. Paparazzo claims waist-high hole was for something else and didn't realize the owners were away	(15)
(Some Guy)		Celebrities who turn down parts on "The Simpsons" risk being ridiculed in future episodes	(68)
		Cate Blanchett is turning into "Skeletor" (with pics)	(93)
(Some Guy)		Mike Myers is out of ideas: "Austin Powers IV" in the works	(67)
		After working on her new album with Justin Timberlake, Madonna invites him back to stay with her for the summer. With a recent "rockiness" to her marriage, it looks like Madge is heading back to her Boy-Toy roots	(13)
(Egotastic.com)		Jessica Simpson is turning into a large-breasted, over-ripe orange. When's the last time she got a really good hard plucking? When did oranges get breasts?	(56)
(Some Dungeon Master)		Mr. Cruise buys Katie Holmes a new $35-million castle. Moat filled with sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads not included	(23)
		Paris Hilton to appeal 45-day sentence. This marks the first time Paris has ever been found appealing	(46)
(Some Guy)		Paris Hilton told to "can the rich girl attitude" while she's in jail or she'll get passed around like a joint at the Cochella Music Festival. Meanwhile, her ever-supportive mom thinks of new ways to cash in on it	(30)
		Interview with the original Geico Caveman; lots of fun facts	(26)
(Some Guy)		Annie Lennox is walking on broken glass after her home is destroyed by MySpace party. Would I lie to you? Would I, honey?	(31)
		In the five years since a videotape allegedly showing R. Kelly giving an underage girl some liquid lovin' surfaced, he has released six albums and toured three times -- and there's still no trial date	(25)
(TMZ)		Sanjaya Malakar may be joining the cast of "I Love New York." This will begin VH1's new reality TV promotion entitled "We Farking Dare You to Watch"	(15)
		"American Pie" by the Brady Bunch kids, and 99 other cover songs from hell. With audio goodne -- er, with audio	(48)

		The world's highest paid model, Gisele Bundchen, quits Victoria's Secret over pay. Because $30 million a year isn't enough to wiggle your ass down a runway	(21)
(Some Guy)		There is a God. Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott will return for a second season of "Tori & Dean: Inn Love." Yes, there is a God... and He hates us	(8)
(Some Guy)		The RIAA strikes again: Selling your used CDs to the local record joint will soon be more scrutinized than getting a driver's license	(87)
		Who is to blame for Paris Hilton drink-driving, breaking parole twice and being sentenced to prison? Her manager, clearly. Like, duh	(18)
		If you ever thought that Ty Pennington wasn't quite right, you thought right	(34)
(Cinematical)		Seven ways "Spider-Man 3" could have been done better	(112)
(Some Guy)		Pics of Paris Hilton "rolling her own"	(40)
(Some Ogre)		Shrek has been busy since we last saw him	(31)
(Some Guy)		Kevin Costner welcomes his new baby boy, Cayden Wyatt	(23)
(Cinematical)		Well, now that Mark Cuban has all this time on his hands, he's decided to reinvent the movie theater	(23)
		Bruce Willis is planning on acting for another 97 years. Goldie Hawn, Meryl Streep unavailable for comment	(19)
(Some Guy)		"American Idol" tour begins July 6th. Check tour dates to see best time to be out of town	(17)
(Some Guy)		Los Angeles County Superior Court judge suspends David Hasselhoff's right to visit his children in the wake of the video showing the actor drunk on his living room floor	(172)
(TV Squad)		For the four fans of "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip" here on Fark, bad news -- the sets are being dismantled	(52)
		Kate Moss looks to her own closet for new designer clothing line. Blouses available in Cocaine White, Boyfriend's Blood Red and Neglectful Parent Teal	(5)
		Paris Hilton says cops pull her over to hit on her; hope to co-star in one of her movies	(22)
		Peter Jackson will up team with Dreamworks for his next project. In related news, nobody wants to hear anything about any Peter Jackson films unless they have the words "The" and "Hobbit" in them	(47)
		Lauren Graham says she's not upset about the series finale of "Gilmore Girls" as the show's end will finally reveal whether she's the mother or the daughter on the show	(28)
		Kid Rock and K-Fed hit it off while hanging out at the Kentucky Derby	(28)
(Some Guy)		The pictures of Lindsay Lohan caught snorting cocaine	(55)
		ABC announces end date to "Lost." Harlem Globetrotters rumored to show up in final season	(156)
(Some Guy)		Knowing a sinking ship when he sees one, publicist Elliot Mintz abandons the SS Paris Hilton	(31)
		Barbra Streisand will perform her first show in England in 13 years. As if bad teeth, bad prime ministers, manly queens, queenly princes and steak and kidney pies weren't evil enough...	(9)
		Keira Knightley says she doesn't shower enough, has a musky scent, and likes to smash things when drunk	(40)
		When reality collides with reality shows: HBO CEO arrested for assaulting girlfriend after televised Las Vegas boxing match	(12)
		"Spider-Man 3" has biggest opening day and opening weekend of all time, pulling in almost $150 million in three days. Too bad it has to pull in at least $700 million to make any profit	(303)
(Some Guy)		Disney to adapt Berke Breathed comic book for big-screen. Mortimer Mouse ordered to stay off-set	(19)