Drew Curtis' FARK.com -- Entertainment Archives for '2007-02-11 23:59:59'

# of Comments

(Cinematical)

This explains a lot about the killing of our childhood memories: Lucas thought "Empire" was the worst Star Wars film

(32)

(Chicago Tribune)

GM to lay off suicidal-robot TV spot

(Some band)

Redzone becomes the first band to schedule a full tour...in the Second Life computer game

(10)

Jerry Stiller and his wife receive joint-star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Hoochie-mama

Backwards message discovered in last weeks "LOST". Only fools are enslaved by time and space

(41)

(Comingsoon.net)

Another year, another release of Star Wars DVDs

(32)

And candidate number 4 in the Anna Nicole Smith paternity lottery is: A vial of frozen sperm from late billionaire J. Howard Marshall

(31)

(Sfx.co.uk)

Dark Crystal 2 is a go. Which is good, because Hollywood is suffering a lack of creepy-assed puppets

(30)

Eva Longoria is shocked she has to pay for clothes

Qantas attendant on flight to Mumbai accused of joining the Mile High Club with Lord Voldemort

(28)

(eCanadaNow)

Jamie Foxx makes some waitresses day by asking her to choose her own tip which ended up to be $1500 bucks

(Winnipeg Sun)

Music industry wants copy surcharge on MP3 players, your first born and 10% of your gross income

(37)

CNBC's Moneybabe was Joey Ramone's financial advisor, which is why he wrote the song "Maria Bartiromo" for her

(Some guy)

Topping the list of comic-book superheroines we'd rather forget: "Ms. PMS"

(14)

Writer discovers that Samuel L. Jackson misquoted Bible passage in Pulp Fiction. Took him this long to figure that out

Former frontman for the Sex Pistols completely dates himself by telling Green Day to STFU and get off his lawn

(78)

Fri February 09, 2007:

# of Comments

(Playfuls.com)

And what happens in the caboose? Model train show features sets with electronic couple having sex, man peeing on wall, nude sunbathers, and hot models stripping

(Wiiiiiiiiii)

Sony exec: "If you can find a PS3 anywhere in North America that's been on shelves for more than five minutes, I'll give you 1,200 bucks for it"

(99)

(Zap2It)

Buzz Lightyear, Woody and the rest of the gang to return to the big screen in 2009

World Wrestling Entertainment names new Chief Operating Officer just before smashing him in the head with a chair

(Some Superficial)

Jennifer Lopez attacked by zombie during concert

(24)

Critics ask question: Do we really need Grammys to tell us which music sucks the most?

(egotastic)

Keira Knightly in her own words: "Broken nose, busted face, horrible legs." She left out "carpenter's dream"

(41)

Great news for people who are into space shuttles or adults in diapers: the Lisa Nowak story will be a movie

(12)

(idlyITW)

Human toilet seat Kim Kardashian suing Vivid video for releasing her sex tape (some site pics Not safe for work)

Hugh Grant is prone to nervousness, but after a bit of whiskey, he's feeling Divine

(10)

Hollywood is out of ideas. "Spies Like Us" is getting a remake

(62)

Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband now claims to be the father of Anna Nicole's child

(196)

Judge orders Anna Nicole's body to be "preserved" for a paternity hearing. This is easy to do, because silicone doesn't decompose

(210)

(People)

Kevin Costner and wife are expecting. Doctors are concerned that the infant won't be able to act its way out of the womb

(Cityrag)

Mary Lynn Rajskub is hilarious as the ex-wife of a "professional clapper" in this 1999 video: "The Story of Derrick 'Hands' Wilson"

The best movie review of "300" you'll read today. (Not safe for work language)

(58)

Jamie Foxx says that women "want to take off their panties as soon as you start singing to them." Deaf women disagree

Rumor that three Spice Girls gathered for dinner to discuss reunion almost as stunning as rumor that Posh eats dinner. Girls also jealous that only one of them has their own Fark tag

(eCanadaNow)

Hugh Grant says animals are sexually attracted to him

Elle MacPherson says she's been flirting with guys for the last two years but can't get anyone to have sex with her, just the way you heard it in your dreams

(68)

Kevin Smith's weight is dropping faster than his career. Fly, skinnyass, fly

(53)

Rosie on "The View" Thursday morning: "If I have to see Anna Nicole Smith one more time on television..."

(63)

Cameron Diaz seen bragging about her new lover’s penis. I think she is now over Justin

(26)

James Brown continues to get funky (followup tag jumps back, it's a sad tag's world)

(12)

Top 10 coolest video game characters of all-time (video)

(127)

Baby Got Back, as realised by Messrs. Gilbert and Sullivan

(china daily)

Headline: Mischa Barton furious over nude picture. Article: ...If it was taken yesterday I would've freaked out, but then I looked at the picture and I was like, 'Oh, that's from 2001. Whatever.'

Thu February 08, 2007:

# of Comments

(Access Hollywood)

Report: Anna Nicole choked on vomit. Authorities expect it will be difficult to solve, because you can't dust for vomit

(323)

Best movie weapons we don't have yet

(49)

David Arquette wants to find Jennifer Aniston a man because she's spending way too much time with his wife Courtney Cox. Those dirty thoughts racing through your head just killed a kitten

(24)

Borat 2: Learnings of Hollywood for ruining a funny movie with sequel

(45)

Homeless-looking midget Mary-Kate Olsen makes out with three random guys in club

(39)

Anna Nicole Smith's condition downgraded to dead

(1794)

The Who announce new European tour; will release new single - "Can't Get Up Again"

Whoopi Goldberg's DNA traced back to Guinea-Bissau, one's of world's poorest nations. Leaders invite her to visit her ancestral home. Who could have problem with this? Oh, Whoopi does

Actress Parminder Nagra "embarassed" by "ER" love scenes with John Stamos. Apparently it's not embarassing enough to actually be on "ER"

(43)

Anna Nicole Smith found unresponsive in Florida hotel room (see followup above)

(586)

(People)

Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg reunite at NYC concert to perform their classic love ballad, "Dick in a Box"

Jay-Z to trademark blue. Yes, the color blue. "That's Hot" and "You're Fired" laugh

(33)

Keira Knightley thinks her pout makes her look like she's constipated. A constipated bag of antlers, that is

(40)

(ruhlman.com)

Anthony Bourdain throws down on the Food Network's current crop of "chefs"

(417)

(KFTY)

Phil Spector's upcoming murder trial could be televised. You submitted this with repeated newsflashes, then Drew threatened to ban your ass permanently

Director of "Lord of the Rings" musical visits Tolkien's grave to ask for blessing, cast ring into fire

If I did it, then this is how I would have done it and if I could spend it, this is how I would spend the money, but I didn't and I can't

(3)

Jim Carrey used Nine Inch Nails' music to get into character for the darker scenes in "The Number 23." Now he wants to fark you like an animal

(35)

Paul McCartney offers $49-million divorce settlement. Heather Mills reportedly is leaning in favour of it

(30)

(NY Daily News)

Who flunks you, baby?

(3)

What blockbuster movie franchises need a reboot?

(75)

(eCanadaNow)

Noel Gallagher has told Bono to “shut the f**k up” about Africa

(57)

Britney Spears would like you to know that she is NOT a lesbian. A white trash, alcoholic skank with no panties, maybe, but not a lesbian

Horny little minx Courteney Cox refuses body double for sex scenes

(37)

Agoraphobic author with vivid imagination wins major award for writing book about country she's never been to, much like Farkers having sex with all the girls in the Foobies links

List of best paid TV and radio talk-show hosts. Howard Stern tops the list at $302 million for parading strippers around his studio

Morrissey has already picked out his gravesite, for when he leaves club on his own, goes home, cries, dies

(31)

I-Mockery reviews what might be the worst non-sports trading cards set ever created: "Wacko-Saurs" -- cards that featured dinosaurs with wacky hairdos, sunglasses, bad jokes and more

(TV Week)

Bush slashes PBS funding. "Now leave me alone and get lost," said Oscar the Grouch

(82)

Wed February 07, 2007:

# of Comments

(E!)

Good news, ladies. Bud Bundy is single again

(Destructoid)

Why the Super Mario movie is an underappreciated masterpiece

(54)

Jerry Garcia's widow sues herself to get control of his recordings. Guess Jerry was sharin' the good stuff with her

(14)

Marvel Comics to do crossover project with "Guiding Light" soap opera. Because nothing goes together like comic books and soap opera

(chud.com)

Not news: The success of "Epic Movie" results in the upcoming production of "Dance Movie." News: "Dance Movie" in middle of seven-figure bidding war. Future news: Submitter to get paid $$$ for his screenplay, "Parody Mov

(45)

Hugh Hefner, 80, finally settling down with a good woman. If anybody is interested, I'm selling igloo timeshares in hell

R. Kelly eagerly anticipating release of Kim Kardashian sex tape

Mr. Blonde to auction off Reservoir Dogs car. Click 'Buy It Now' to receive bonus body in trunk, severed ear in glove compartment

From the "This new would have been really hot about five years ago" files: Britney Spears is into girls and routinely held lesbian orgies while married

(45)

(Some Dude)

Jessica Simpson: "I want to adopt before I actually have my own kids. I want three kids -- but I don't know if I can give birth three times. We have to see how much pain is involved first"

(37)

Larry Birkhead says Anna Nicole Smith miscarried their first child by drinking and jumping on a trampoline

Darwin breathes a huge sigh of relief as Jim Carrey, Jenny McCarthy deny any plans to breed

Christina Aguilera enjoys cooking naked. Pass the bacon

(77)

"Lost" tough guy Josh Holloway (Sawyer) met his match with wife Yessica. In related news, someone actually named their kid "Yessica"

Tori Spelling has put on A LOT of weight (with Jabba the Hutt-like pics)

(72)

Submitter is crying with laughter. Crying, I tell you: "Glen & Gary & Glen & Ross." The fake trailer to end them all, from the makers of "Must Love Jaws." (VERY not safe for work language)

(If It's Movies)

Joss Whedon now free to do live action "Sailor Moon" movie

(65)

Frankie Laine, best known for the theme songs of "Rawhide" and "Blazing Saddles," dead at 93

Great pics of Jessica Simpson doing her best imitation of a Live Doll

(54)

Tue February 06, 2007:

# of Comments

The Prince of Darkness himself wants you to come to Ozzfest this year -- FOR FREE

(212)

Arrest warrant issued for Daniel Baldwin (with Nick Nolte-style mugshot)

Jeff Bridges. Lindsay Lohan. One of these people has joined the cast of the "Iron Man" movie. Mere mention of the other should get this greenlit

(44)

Fark Entertainment Forum: Only the last seven days of comments listed. Talk about TV shows/movies/et cetera here. Difficulty: No spoilers plz kthx

(91)

Charlize Theron sued by Swiss watchmaker, presumably trying to stop her from impersonating Courtney Cox (with scary pic)

(27)

Paris Hilton to attend Vienna's Opera Ball. And why not? She's balled almost everyone in North America

(Some Girl)

Michelle Rodriguez shows up at a fashion show wearing ank ankle tracing bracelet. Not sure what fashion statement she's trying to make. (Pix)

Mick Jagger's daughter causes drunken ruckus on plane. Is also pretty hot for a 35-year-old (pic)

(60)

Hugh Grant and girlfriend Jemima go house hunting. Plans to hire Mrs. Butterworth as maid, Uncle Ben as chef as yet unconfirmed

Poor Justin Timberlake, first his relationship with Cameron Diaz fizzles, then he parts ways with Jessica Biel and now he's farking Scarlett Johansson

(59)

Delusionally untalented 1980s Tampa public-access host finds new fame in 21st century as YouTube star

(83)

"Studio 60 at Sunset Strip" gets the hook

(113)

Jessica Simpson goes goth (with odd pics)

(60)

"Vicar of Dibley" to join "The Office" as latest good British show to be destroyed by an American remake. Bonus: Kirstie Alley is going to guarantee it's crap

(81)

Miss Utah is praised for wearing a modest swimsuit during the Miss America pageant. Of course the hot chick in the bikini walked away with the crown, but those praises are so much better

Druggie rocker Pete Doherty faces four new criminal charges. Is it Tuesday already?

Drew Barrymore is looking more and more like The Joker (pix)

(19)

As expected, Tara Reid falls down on the red carpet at a Super Bowl party

(19)

(Your Child - Your Divorce)

Rupert Murdoch admits to manipulating the media

(40)

Rabbi cries out to Britney for wearing the Magen David in vain - OY VEY

(Some Hero)

George Takei's limo had an interesting license plate on tonight's "Heroes"

(84)

Conflicting accounts swirl around Ryan O'Neal's arrest for assault on his son. Even so, the latest word from the rumor chain is "purple monkey squeezed a duck"

(9)

Sienna Miller lets us know that she prefers "doing it herself." Millions of cats tremble in fear

(19)

1983 finale to "M*A*S*H" still kicking butt over Super Bowls

(35)

"Barbarella" is coming back

(32)

Mon February 05, 2007:

# of Comments

Olivia Newton-John is psyched that "Xanadu" is getting revived on Broadway. Apparently, nobody told her she's not in it

Celebrities of yesteryear were just as sullen, depressed and despondent as their modern-day counterparts

Today's headline: Andy Dick licks Ivanka Trump on "The Jimmy Kimmel Show." Tomorrow's headline: Andy Dick's corpse found floating in the Hudson River. Donald Trump wanted for questioning

Rocky Balboa sells out in 27 minutes. Metallica impressed

(Suicide Girls)

Gerard Butler hosts a video journal about Frank Miller's "300." Submitter is counting the days until March 9

Fifteen geek movies to see before you die. No "Blade Runner"? Stupid list

(446)

Fangoria magazine opens film division. "We want to be the Disney of horror"

Tom Cruise is hoping to make his Hollywood comeback by starring in the most amazing movie known to man. Oh wait, this is Hollywood -- he'll just co-star with Ben Stiller in a remake of "The Hardy Boys"

(42)

"Jackass" star Bam Margerra is getting married. The ceremony will be held in a porta-potti filled with pig entrails as it's launched by catapault into the East River

(89)

Hack singer Keith Urban sues hack painter Keith Urban over website URL

Zucker to replace Wright as CEO of NBC. Maybe he'll be able to get this thing off the ground with some special effects, instead

(6)

Andrew Ridgeley agrees to help obscure former musical partner with Wham reunion

Being thin for "Dreamgirls" was awful for Beyonce, couldn't wait to rejoin Team Winslet

Original director Joel Schumacher lashes out at "Lost Boys" sequel for not being full of hot biker vampire chicks like he wanted

Disney says "High School Musical 2" part of bridging "musical gulf" between Barney and Eminem. Stephen Hawking counters with "ooneeeverse knotatt beeg"

Stacy Keibler wears a very short skirt to Maxim's Super Bowl party

(4)

(Entertainment Weekly)

American Idol power rankings led by ugly guys

(9)

(Newsarama)

WB makes the obvious choice and fires the guy who wrote "Batman Begins" in favor of the guy who directed "Cheaper by the Dozen" to direct their movie of "The Flash"

(69)

The Chicago Sun-Times calls Prince's Super Bowl performance "arguably the best halftime show in Super Bowl history"

(142)

Singer Natasha Bedingfield won't pose in a bikini for "lad mags" because she doesn't want to be famous for her looks. Which is exactly why you have no idea who she is

(26)

(The Rad Report)

Like OMG, you can't be Paris Hilton's best friend and not have your own sex tape

(28)

Josh Holloway wants to have sex with Barbara Streisand, Sophia Loren and Elizabeth Hurley, apparently believing he really is stranded on an island

Porn star Ron Jeremy says he and Paris HIlton erected massive flesh tower

(Apple.com)

Trailer for "Skanks on a Chain" (aka "Black Snake Moan"), the new Sam Jackson movie

(79)

If you see Pete Doherty hunting pheasant with a syringe, it's because England turned him down for a gun license

(9)

Top 10 best cleavages in Hollywood. (SFW, but focus on boobies)

(12)

Napoleon had his Waterloo, Nixon had his Watergate, and Bush will be brought down by the knockout blow of Rage Against the Machine playing one show

(31)

Because you asked for it: "Mork & Mindy" blooper reel (some profanity)

George Takei and that guy who plays Hiro blow everyone's minds on set of "Heroes" by conversing with each other in Spanish

(27)

If you had to be stuck in a movie for all of eternity, what would it be? Difficulty: No porn

(195)

Sacha Baron Cohen's fiancee was willing to sleep with him while he was in character as Borat, but will not sleep with him as Bruno

News: Man faces homicide charges. Ironic: He used to star on the show "Homicide." Double ironic: He then went onto become a main character on the prison show, "Oz"