Drew Curtis' FARK.com -- Entertainment Archives for '2007-02-04 23:59:59'

# of Comments

(Some Mullet)

Step aside "Freedom Rock," here comes "Mullets in Love."

(10)

Would you rather be a Jedi or Superman?

(213)

(Hollywood Tuna)

Alyssa Milano can still rock a bikini

(30)

"Even Britney Spears has experienced more character growth in the last three years than the characters on the hit series 'Lost'"

(34)

Knowing both their products affect people the same way,Taco Bell president offers K-Fed a job

Coldplay lead whiner Chris Martin says band won't play Glastonbury because festivalgoers "are bored of us." Yeah, so's everybody else

(LGN)

What are your favorite audio and video podcasts?

(59)

Roman Polanski to direct $197 million epic on last days of Pompeii, will personally supervise casting of young female characters

(FanTent)

Turkish remakes of six American films... dear lord is E.T. creepy

(38)

Smokin Aces isn't just a bad movie; it's wildly unbelievable, surprisingly inane, and so trite as to require a final screen that shows "The End." SoAP without the talent. Don't waste your time

(128)

Independent rock icon David Byrne took the stage at Carnegie Hall to unveil a collection of songs about the life of former Philippines first lady Imelda Marcos

The Spinners' Billy Henderson, whose hits include,"I'll Be Around", won't

(6)

Pop star Lily Allen loves to watch pr0n; apparently really means it and isn't just sucking up to Farkers

Kylie Minogue breaks up with boyfriend of four years. It's about time she lost that boob

(30)

McCartney gets PETA in the divorce, Heather Mills feels like her last leg has been cut out from underneath her

(10)

Sat February 03, 2007:

# of Comments

Domo-kun remix

Some people think that when you receive money from a leftist organization to make a documentary, you are pure, but if you take money from a corporation, then you are the debil

(192)

(Cinematical)

Have $30 and nothing to do Saturday the 24th? Head down to an AMC movie theater for an all-day marathon of this year's Best Picture nominees

(16)

Kiefer Sutherland is terrified of tiny dogs

Dan Aykroyd confirms there will be a Ghostbusters 3, but it will be completely CGI because Bill Murray will not do a live action version

(53)

Addictive game about where your beer money goes

(4)

"Nobody tells this Wookiee what to do"

(Cinematical)

The guy who directed Smokin' Aces will bite your head off if you compare his movie to Reservoir Dogs or Pulp Fiction

(23)

List of celebrities who are godless heathens

(468)

Farrah Fawcett now free of cancer, given excellent prognosis; still no cure for your wrist injuries from her 70's poster

(14)

Stephen King tries to convince his fans that comic books are not junk food. This from the man that played Jordy Verill

Jim Carrey prepares for his next role as R. Kelly, pisses off film crew

(38)

(Phat Phree)

The 11 least intimidating movie villains

(67)

(Whedonesque)

Joss Whedon no longer attached to direct 'Wonder Woman'. "It's pretty complicated, so bear with me." He wrote on his blog. "I had a take on the film that, well, nobody liked. Hey, not that complicated."

(149)

(Stars and Stripes)

Motto "Leave no one behind" good in combat, movies. Not so good in bar fights, getting arrested by police

(2)

Anne Heche's husband files for divorce. She's running out of genders with which to have sex

Viacom to Youtube: "We'd like you to remove 100,000 videos from your site." Youtube: "Die in a fire"

(69)

Canadian actors go on strike, but in typically polite Canadian fashion, continue to show up for work

It's Official: David Lee Roth back in Van Halen

(62)

Fri February 02, 2007:

# of Comments

Matt Groening talks about the return of Futurama

Dolph Lundgren wants to make "Walker: The Texas Timecop Force IV" with Chuck Norris and Jean Claude Van Damme

Madonna's ex is unhappy that their daughter Lourdes now has a British accent. Madonna's fans unhappy that Madonna tries to have one too

Those of you who are upset they're making another Mummy movie will be even more upset to learn that Rachel Weisz wants to be in it

(43)

Food Network to hold first awards show, will no doubt give all awards to Rachel Ray

(62)

Denise Richards on a beach in Maui sniffing mysterious white powder out of lipstick container

(46)

(eCanadaNow)

Matt Damon doing a great job promoting new Bourne movie saying the trilogy is meaningless and has no plot

(48)

Katie Holmes says she fell in love with Tom Cruise the second she shook his hand when she first met him. Damn, those brainwasher thetans are strong

(idLYITW)

Real, upclose photos of Michael Jackson's kids. Apparently sleeping in an incubator really does turn you white

(19)

New Star Trek comic to be available in Klingon. What's Klingon for "Get the hell out of your mom's basement, you dork"

The hardest working woman in the law business sues James Brown's estate

(6)

(The Superficial)

A topless Danny Bonaduce is like passing a car accident, you know you shouldn't look at the horror of it all, but you do (SFW)

(39)

Today's episode of "Not Bloody Likely, Old Chap" brought to you by Jar-Jar Binks voice actor Ahmed Best, who says Jar Jar was a pioneer who paved the way for Gollum

(52)

Eva Longoria has gone for the 'Wacko Jacko' look (pic)

(17)

First look at Mariah Carey on the cover of Playboy (safe for work)

(76)

British TV postpones its 'Wank Week' programming, delaying gratification of dozens of viewers

(8)

Why porn movies WON'T decide the next DVD standard

(41)

JK Rowling, sure that the hotel she stayed at would want to honor the finishing of her 7th Harry Potter book in one of their rooms, decides to leave graffiti to mark the occasion

(45)

Rock's worst drivers

(23)

Paris Hilton is better in bed than Kimberly Stewart and Lindsay Lohan – with Tara Reid way behind in last place claims Patient Zero

(28)

(Radar)

"Anytime Bob Saget, the Olsen Twins, a handful of comics, a sitcom actor with two DWIs, the world's foremost purveyor of soft-core porn... show up at the same party, there's a decent chance it might be amusing" (pics)

"The Sarah Silverman Program" makes Baby Jesus cry

(81)

Thu February 01, 2007:

# of Comments

(ET)

Mother of the Year Dina Lohan invites "Entertainment Tonight" camera crew along when she visits her daughter Lindsay in rehab

Matthew Perry thinks lip collagen will help revive his failing career... Meg Ryan will share it, if he can bear it

David Hasselhoff puts on a dress. Fortunately, without pics

(10)

Justin Timberlake likes Jessica Biel, does not like like her

"Prison Break" actor kills teenager. Let's see how good he really is at breaking out of prison

(41)

Final Harry Potter book to be published July 21st. Complete copies expected to be published online by July 9th. (Ron dies)

(86)

(HumorFeed)

Results are in: "Gas of the Year" fills room, takes gold. No, not that gas, the other one. No, not that one either

Filming laws have gotten so strict that Harrison Ford was told his whip would be computer generated for "Indiana Jones 4." Ford says no real whip, no Indy 4

(63)

(The Superficial)

Denise Richards' fat has left her torso and boobs and gone right to the place nobody wants it to: Richie Sambora (SFW)

Thought SNL had hit rock bottom and couldn't suck any worse? Just wait until February 10th

(46)

(NME)

What's more annoying that Avril Lavigne? Why, manga superheroine Avril Lavigne of course

(39)

(eCanadaNow)

A rubber penis and fake severed head have been stolen from the set of new horror film "Hannibal Rising"

(14)

Barbra Streisand donates $10,000 to a high school, roughly the equivalent of a pair of tickets to one of her shows

(7)

(People)

Jennifer Hudson says "American Idol" was abusive and brainwashed her. A simple thank you should suffice

Prankster convinces Courtney Love she's gonna be a host on "American Idol"

(People Magazine)

Mandy Moore says dating is "not fun." Submitter offers to move to Hollywood to help her with her problem. He's generous that way

(29)

These are not computer-generated images of what Britney will look like in 10 years. This is what she looks like RIGHT NOW

(57)

Just because the submitter loves you, here's the theatrical trailer to Uwe Boll's next opus

(59)

Filthy hippies line up to buy tickets for this year's Glastonbury Festival, which organizers promise will have more mud, patchouli oil and greasy dreadlocks on white guys than ever before

Recovering alcoholic Eric Clapton threatened not to play concert in New Zealand last weekend after seeing a special edition of wine bearing his name for sale

121 jobs that don't suck

(187)

Wed January 31, 2007:

# of Comments

Columnist lays down the science on Prince and his half-time performance. It's all in the hips

Reconsidering Episode IV in light of I-III. Don't hate yourself for reading the whole thing

(69)

(SG News (Possibly NSFW)

Wil teams up with Ric Romero and reviews those newfangled Graphical Novel Thingies

Jack Bauer doll's clothes don't burn, but figure does. Kiefer tested, Kiefer approved

Bad idea of the day goes to rapper "D Black," who performed a live show even though he has warrants out for his arrest for an armed robbery in which he acquired $32

(8)

Brandy being sued for $50 million. Brandy. The star of "Moesha." 5-0 million

(220)

The best Stones film you've never seen

Uma Thurman to quit acting and be a stay-at-home mom. Until, of course, Quentin Tarantino comes' a-knocking

(Some Stoner)

The top nine celebrity stoners. There would of been 10 except they got high, and there is only really eight because they listed Bill Maher twice

(31)

Movie marketing 101: Two days before theater release, launch rumor that the sex scenes are "real"

Jessica Lange says being anti-Bush is dangerous for her health. She must have problems with razor burn or something

Victoria Beckham bans size zero models from promoting her clothing line. Says that's way too fat and she has to draw the line somewhere

(16)

(The Rad Report)

Pete Doherty gets caught on video sneaking away to a Thai hostel to shoot up cocaine

(WHDH)

Massachusetts pro wrestler urinates on Brazilian flag during local cable-access program, footage ends up on Brazilian version of "Inside Edition" (35 million worldwide viewers). MARLBOROUGH NUMBER ONE, BRAZIL HACK-POOIE

(106)

(People Magazine)

Jennifer Aniston opens up about rumors surrounding her body, plastic surgery and the "lesbian kiss." Mmmm... lesbian kiss...

Paula Abdul proves that "technical" difficulties follow her everywhere

(14)

Wallace and Gromit say goodbye to Dreamworks, taking all the cheese and crackers with them

Forgetting that he had nothing before her, Cletus turns down $25-million divorce settlement offer from Britney

Parents are supposedly "bombarding" Harry Potter websites in retaliation for actor pretending to hump a nude horse or some damn thing(Not safe for work-ish pics)

(79)

Opera star refuses to sing with pop star whose audiences throw underwear on stage, spooked at notion of performing before a crowd that isn't asleep or bored into catatonia

Tyra Banks gets pissed off at fat jokes, dons bathing suit and begins tirade

(78)

Marlene Dietrich so broke during her final years, she sang to a doctor for money while he masturbated

(28)

Tue January 30, 2007:

# of Comments

Sidney Sheldon no longer dreaming of Jeannie, dead at 89

(Dose.ca)

Depression gives you sexy abs because you don't eat, says Fall Out Boy's Pete Wentz. Funny on its own

(24)

Ben Stiller's wife in the two Focker movies is really excited about the third one, her lip quivering in that kind of false hope usually reserved for Tom Arnold when he talks wistfully about a "True Lies" sequel

Four Futurama movies being released straight to DVD. Submitter wants a "Jurassic Bark" sequel

(63)

J-Lo thinks it weird that people paint Scientology in a negative way. Xenu, alien dictator of the Galactic Confederacy, unavailable for comment

Billy Joel releases new single loaded with edgy streed cred. It was produced by Phil Ramone, will be released on People Magazine's website and has already been licensed for Valentine's Day e-cards

(17)

(dgc360)

American Idol" auditions thread: Week 3, Part 1 (Birmingham)

(548)

(Some LoG)

Death metal band Lamb of God will perform on 'Late Night With Conan O'Brien' on February 9th. wait....what?

(79)

Courtney Love might replace Paula Abdul on American Idol. This makes it better how?

(99)

(celebitchy.com)

The liberalization of our children continues: Jon Stewart to be guest star on the children's channel, Noggin. Suck it, libs

James Brown always wanted Eddie Murphy to play him on the big screen. Jump back, kiss myself Huhnnn. Owww. Hot tub, get in the ho-ta

Top list of hottest women of pop/R&B

(6)

Sam Raimi may be directing movie version of "The Hobbit." Venom unavailable for comment

(Starpulse)

Mariah Carey to appear in March issue of Playboy magazine

Sir Tom Jones's face will collapse if he goes under the knife again, his plastic surgeon has warned him. (With pic goodness)

"Borat" actor to be sued again, this time over his signature "wa wa wee wa" sound, which translates to "your 15 minutes is almost up"

(41)

California State Patrol recommends that actor/singer/has-been Brandy be charged with manslaughter for December accident

Miss American to wear chastity belt, join convent, sleep in bundling bag, vows to stay out of trouble. We all know what's next

Lance Bass is (bare)back on the market

"To Catch a Predator" returns tonight starting six weeks of dumbass creeps getting busted while we laugh and laugh

(98)

Why season three of "Lost" sucks: "I think there's a much larger audience that's much more interested in who is Kate going to choose than the details about who Alvar Hanso is"

(313)

Harvard's Hasty Pudding awards this year's honors to Scarlett Johansson for having huge boobs, and Ben Stiller for being one

(28)

(myfoxla)

Paris Hilton FINALLY files lawsuit to shut down parisexposed.com. In other news, closing barn doors after cows get out not an effective method of bovine retention

(79)

Man has surgery to look like Bruce Willis. Still no cure for "Hudson Hawk"

(52)

Katie Holmes drops out of "Batman" sequel, citing fluttering thetans slapping her face all night long

(54)

What was the first movie you remember that made you feel "funny"? LGT mine. Mmm Dickinson

(172)

CBS axes "Armed & Famous" after four shows. Probably would have helped if they had someone famous on it

Alec Guiness' Obi-Wan costume up for auction, along with red tunics from "Zulu" and James Bond's dinner jacket

Mon January 29, 2007:

# of Comments

(RehabGuy)

Lindsay rules Wonderland

"No chickens were strangled at the gala performance for Butoh dancer Kazuo Ohno's 100th birthday, a sign of just how much Japan's most provocative dance has changed since its debut after World War Two"

(3)

The new play, "Wake Up Mr. Sleepy. Your Unconscious Mind Is Dead," explores the psychology of theatre. How many Freudians does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change the bulb, and two to hold the penis... I mean, ladder

(E!)

Ex-lesbian Anne Heche dumped hubby for costar. Now, Heche's ex is dating costar's ex

(9)

(Some Undead Guy)

CBS tries something entirely new: A vampire drama about a bloodsucker who solves crimes and loves a mortal woman. Geraint Wyn Davies and David Boreanaz unavailable for comment

(24)

(TrekWeb)

James Doohan's son gives several reasons why he should be cast as Scotty in upcoming Star Trek flick. "One, I kind of look like my dad. Two, I can do a great Scottish accent. Three, we share the last name. Four, I like money"

Angelcans think that Bono moves in mysterious ways, institute "U2-charist." Jesus wept

(Joystiq)

WoW-addicted baby-neglector shreds his WoW CDs for his fat, ugly fiancee on the "Tyra Banks Show," secretly knowing you don't need the CDs to play the game. Get out of Azeroth, Tyra

(95)

(Washington Post)

New book alleges that the CIA funded a Russian-language edition of Boris Pasternak's novel "Doctor Zhivago" to help it win a Nobel Prize for Literature, and thus embarass the Soviet Union and keep Pasternak from going to prison

(5)

Official "24" discussion thread

(84)

Caption Pink

That Nationwide Insurance ad with K-Fed? Going over even better than expected

(140)

(TV Squad)

In defense of "American Idol" being cruel to the stupid, fat and stupid fat people

(Raleigh Chronicle)

Jimmy Kimmel gets Clay Aiken for his Valentine's Day show. Kimmel's just a Judy Garland tribute away from turning totally gay

(110)

Note to Nicole Richie: You're supposed to snort cocaine, not lap it up like a golden retriever (with night-vision pic)

(36)

Lindsay Lohan's rehab forces closed the "Vagina Dialogues," marking the first time in history that the words "Lindsay Lohan," "vagina" and "closed" appear in the same sentence

(53)

Miss USA, out of rehab, is "a completely different person" -- most importantly, one who knows who is paying the bills

(97)

Sharon and Kelly Osbourne thrown off a nude beach because they wouldn't go topless

(49)

Helen Mirren wins SAG award. Apparently, the judges saw her naked

(33)

BBC airs Richard "Hamster" Hammond's 280-mph crash on "Top Gear"

(56)

Website lets you hum that hard-to-place tune and finds the title for you. Oh, and it will also sell you a copy of the song

Dame Helen Mirren named world's sexiest older woman

(56)

"Shrek 2" named best movie sequel by a bunch of idiots who never saw "Ernest Goes to Camp"

(72)

The best animated comicbook character TV series of all time

(62)

(Huffington Post)

Katie Holmes having trouble finding work because she's married to Tom Cruise. Obvious tag trumps Sad tag