Drew Curtis' FARK.com -- Entertainment Archives for '2007-01-14 23:59:59'

# of Comments

(CanadaNow)

Kylie Minogue becomes world’s first scented wax figure

Author of 'Illuminatus' trilogy dies at 74. Or that's you what they want you to think

(24)

New York judge rules against Jerry Seinfeld in dispute over real estate transaction. What is up with that?

Ken Burns signs with PBS until 2022, or that civil war documentary ends. Whichever comes first

Official "24" thread. If you don't post here, you don't know Jack

(627)

Special delivery - a bomb: Pink Panther 2 in the works

(WFRV)

'Munsters' fan raising money for star's funeral

Gillian Anderson says she much prefers drinking blood from the necks of goats to sheep: "Goat is better than lamb. Lambs have a lot more fat on them, so the blood is very gloopy." Ewe

Why Howard Stern isn't worth it

(51)

Why Howard Stern is worth it

(17)

Does anyone actually care who gets fired in Hollywood?

Littered with Campbell Soup cans, Andy Warhol's Long Island Estate finally sells after 6 years. Buyer to erect 'Factory'

(4)

Warren Commission investigation of the "Tigger" incident. Note the "Grassy Knoll" on the right

Because we know you've been wondering about this" Do Engelbert Humperdinck's drapes match his carpet?

(5)

(NY Daily News)

The Beckhams might have converted to Scientology

(30)

Sat January 13, 2007:

# of Comments

James Brown's home to become Graceland of soul. Just don't use the bathrooms, or he may be forced to rise from the grave and kick your butt, then go on a high speed chase

(38)

"Battlestar Galactica's" Pegasus to star in upcoming two-hour "Pearl Harbor"-type movie

(35)

Lucy Lawless, fantasy action star and lesbian dream girl, branches out into rock and roll playing her first concert Saturday night at the Roxy Theatre in Hollywood

(WCCO)

Air Force suspends hottie sergeant for posing in Playboy (pic)

(41)

Australian dolphins risk tuna nets and allow Tara Reid to swim with them

The Ramones were the greatest band ever

(97)

(E! online)

Many celebrities refuse to drink Evian water because of rumors of nuclear poisoning. I always thought it was because it tastes like Gerard Depardieu's scalp

McFarlane Toys to produce line of "24" action figures. Submitter just Bauer'd himself (w pic)

(24)

I see your Star Wars trailer and raise you the Hardware Wars trailer. Watch Chewchilla munch on the princess' buns

(34)

10 singers who turned out to be decent actors. Submitter wondering why Will Smith is on this list

(114)

There is so much interest in Prince William's girlfriend that the papers have hired a lip reader to transcribe her every utterance. No pressure, though

(10)

Fri January 12, 2007:

# of Comments

The Five Best and Five Worst Sam Jackson motherfarkin Movies

(48)

Five reasons why the new season of "24" kicks ass

Bravo Channel to make series about Paula Abdul; working titles include "I'm the Chick in the Middle" and "Who Do I Have to Fark Now?"

(7)

"Erotic game of Marco Polo." I'm so glad I cross that off the list of terms I want to see in print before I die

"Big on YouTube" replaces "Big in Japan" as the music industry version of Damning With Faint Praise. Ask these guys. They're apparently big on YouTube

David Beckham consulted with Tom Cruise on his move to L.A., calls Cruise "a very wise man." Granted, he is a towering genius next to Posh Spice

(22)

(celeb slap)

Britney Spears sets the new look for 2007: The thrift-shop single mother

Two preteens perform with Tenacious D, claim they did it all for the nookie

If David Beckham and whatserface can't afford a home in L.A., Hef is willing to help out

(18)

Madonna calls her son a "champion tantrum-thrower." Just wait until he finds that book his momma posed for and see how he reacts

(Defamer)

Paula Abdul live on KCPQ-13, she's either really trashed or doing a brilliant "Cousin Geri" impersonation

Kurt Loder takes a break from still not being dead yet to tell us about the interesting and sad true story behind the new Justin Timberlake movie

NBC to start all-horror channel, featuring scary old series like "Twin Peaks," "Freddy's Nightmares" and "Joey"

(40)

Madonna was shocked to hear about Britney Spears, et al. going commando. Says this latest trend is "dreadful"

(39)

Bob Dylan bores Simon Cowell to tears. In related news -- well, actually there is no related news. Or news, for that matter

(50)

Remember the whole thing about Erik Estrada arresting the guy and doing something to piss him off for the TV show he's on? Yeah, apparently the show sucks

(53)

(A Socialite's Life)

First Britney did it, now Christina Aguilera has a perfume. Not to be left behind, Lindsay Lohan is developing hers, which will smell like cigarettes, unwashed panties, vodka vomit

(14)

Sir Paul McCartney is through with women. The Sun is there

Lindsay Lohan's mom gets fingerbanged at a restaurant

(65)

(eCanadaNow)

Kevin Federline wants $33 million from Britney Spears

Stonewall Jackson sues the Grand Ole Opry for $10 million over age discrimination. Says 194 is not to old to play country or confederate music

Teri Hatcher knows there's a guy or two out there who like their women leathery; is waiting for a guy to come into her life and sweep her off her feet. Like a saddle

Jennifer Lopez explains that her life "had become uncomfortable" which was why she embraced those new relaxed fit jeans. Or something like that

Christian group gets sand in their immaculate vagina over Conan O'Brien skit about country singer who loved Jesus, but not in that way

(180)

Script completed for "Star Trek XI: The Wonder Years"

(115)

(NME)

Fred Durst has just finished shooting a movie, "The Education of Charlie Banks." Singer, songwriter, director -- is there no start to this man's talents?

(35)

(londonnet.co.uk)

Pregnant Tori Spelling looks sexy naked, says husband

(45)

Johnny Depp to make, star in film about poisoned Russian spy Alexander Litvinenko. Psst, Johnny: Too soon

(Will Sasso)

Steven Seagal & Thunderbox have just started their world tour. Don't laugh, he has sold out shows in Glasgow and Copenhagen

(34)

"Will you be in the new Star Trek movie, Captain Pike?" "Beep"

Thu January 11, 2007:

# of Comments

(Gamespot)

WoW reaches eight million subscribers. Wow

(70)

(Some Fresh Prince)

7 ft. 6in. Yao Ming reportedly dating 5 ft. 2 in. Nia Long. Stretchilarity ensues

(Cinema Blend.com)

Star Wars: Episode VII - Screw That. Not starring Harrison Ford

Battlestar Galactica megababe Trisha Helfer hopes her fans like her Playboy photos. Oh, Trisha, don't worry. Your fans will have a, um, deeply spiritual relationship with them

(43)

"Borat", a movie that was shot almost entirely without a script, nominated for prestigious Writers Guild award

(23)

Ozzy Osbourne? Check. Gene Simmons? Check. Hulk Hogan? Check. Flavor Flav? Check. VH1 gets creative and creates a new series that will give us a candid look into the personal life of... wait for it... Andrew "Dice" Clay

(wwtdd)

Lindsay Lohan running in a bikini in Miami on Monday. With a cigarette. Without an appendectomy scar. Hrmmmm

(40)

Shatner confirms he will be playing "Old Kirk" in upcoming Star Trek flick. KHAAAAAAN unavailable for comment

(55)

Rod Stewart, 62, announces he will never sing "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy?" again because, frankly, he isn't

(DoubleViking.com)

An open letter to the kid in the background of those Jessica Alba bikini pics

(47)

(Cityrag)

New photos of Jessica Biel's amazing butt. (Not safe for work-ish)

Nick Lachey not ready to marry his future ex-wife, needs to evaluate her earning potential further

Oops -- that rhinestone-studded leather bustier you got from the Whitney Houston auction actually belonged to a guy named Michael Fuchs. But heeeeeeee will always love youuuuuuu

Andre the Giant named the greatest drunkard of all time

(48)

Rape charges against James Brown to go forth despite case being tossed out of court last year... and his being dead and all

(68)

Last year's Golden Globe gift bag included trip to Antarctica, diamond ring. This year's bag: Tic-Tacs, packet of moist towelettes, ticket redeemable for one free backrub

(14)

David Arquette blaims Angelina Jolie for Pitt-Aniston breakup, crawls back under Courtney Cox's shadow

(26)

Lindsay Lohan's liver is now so bad doctors have told her to stop drinking or die. Obvious tag wants an organ transplant

(70)

Peg Bundy knocked up at 52

(65)

Did Jennifer Aniston get a boob job?

(39)

The most powerful woman in Hollywood resigns. No, not Rosie, it's Gail Berman, the now-former head of Paramount Studios

(5)

Jennifer Aniston to make a guest appearance on Courteney Cox' new show "Dirt." Odds are the show will get axed before that happens though

(21)

Social networking, porno style

Marilyn Manson went from dating hottie Dita Von Teese to dating Evan Rachel Wood. Male Farkers everywhere smear selves in heavy makeup, don androgynous clothes and start being self-important pricks

Peter Jackson banned from making The Hobbit

(59)

Unsigned, download-only band set to crack Top 40: Weird Al promptly releases R.E.M. spoof "It's The End of the Recording Industry As We Know It (and I Feel Fine)"

Co-founder of Burning Man sues board members to put name and logo in public domain. In other news, Burning Man has a board of directors

(23)

(Pitchfork)

British rap sensation Lady Sovereign attacks, spits on guy dressed as a Donut. Now that's gangsta. With video goodness

(38)

24-The Movie will not be made until at least 2009, or about the time that Jack Bauer is the only person still alive

(26)

A new stew-based Japanese superhero that saves people by letting them eat him is already popular enough to have 180 types of spin-off merchandise

(bizofshowbiz)

We're getting ya back suckas. Web TV channel sends Saturday Night Live a cease-and-desist order

Wed January 10, 2007:

# of Comments

(Dose.ca)

Having a buxom, burlesque-dancing wife who writhes wet and half-naked in a giant martini glass was a bore for Marilyn Manson

Dennis Miller to launch radio show in the most radical development in radio since Marconi and Nikola Tesla went on a tear with those Hertzian wave chickies after the second battle of Antietam

(34)

Hollywood Walk of Fame trots out new star for Hilary Swank

Courteney Cox Arquette nixes rumors of a "Friends" reunion. Could we BE any sadder?

"Pop singer pleads innocent to charges of being unfit to drive and possessing marijuana" or what would happen if the prophet George Michael were around today

(4)

From the "How can anybody take these awards seriously" file, Vince Vaughn, Nickelback and Two and a Half Men win People's Choice Awards

(183)

Whitney Houston auctions her stuff, only problem being a lot of said stuff isn't actually hers. That's whack

(10)

(Grandpa Munster)

Yvonne De Carlo's Lily Munster takes a last ride in Grandpa Munster's Dragula car

(29)

Harrison Ford "horrified" at George Lucas's idea for Han Solo spin-off movie. "He told George he just couldn't face being stuck in a spaceship with Chewbacca again"

(Radar Online)

Vodka-swilling, foul-mouthed Charlotte Church shows Britney Spears how a real skank drinks

J.J. Abrams says "Star Trek XI" is not for Trekkies

(62)

Gary Glitter may be released early, will seek an immediate release

Rosie O'Donnell will probably leave "The View." Reasons include issues with staffmembers and the fact that there isn't a camera in the world that can record her image without turning into stone

(59)

Penelope Cruz tells Letterman that she and Salma Hayek are "like sisters," which IMHO just makes rumors about their relationshp even more hot

Richard Gere has been hollering, "No condom, no sex! No condom, no sex!" at 10,000 Indian prostitutes. Dude, they don't speak English, you need to consult your phrasebook if you want that

(17)

(A Socialite's Life)

Amy Lee of Evanescence is engaged, taking one more of the "Is she hot? I'm not really sure" babes off the market

(47)

Brooke Burke gives birth. In other news, her husband's a plastic surgeon

(14)

(TFW2005.com)

First look at "Transformers" movie Megatron, a full-body CGI image. Looks like Terminator, Predator got it on

(72)

Taking his vanity to new heights, Bill O'Reilly schedules an interview with himself

(NYObserver)

Katie Couric says more on-air time for her is better for the correspondents. For some reason, they don't agree

Moviemaker John Waters wants to marry K Fed. What are the odds of K Fed getting him pregnant? Unstoppable force, meet immovable object

(New York TImes)

NYT review of sci-fi book concludes that sci-fi is a "conservative art form," because good liberals wouldn't care about defending Earth and icky military stuff

(51)

Angelina Jolie's exercise regime has left her with scary man arms that look like they could rip your pecker off. With pic

After being dead since Christmas Day, James Brown is starting to smell funky

(10)

(Deviant Art)

If the Japanese drew "Futurama." *Shudders* (SFW)

(68)

Japanese company unveils next generation fake beards. Tom Cruise sniffs, calls them amateurs

(7)

Ziggy Marly and his wife, Orly, have a baby. Ya Rly

Abi Titmuss can't get laid... probably because The Sun is there

(AM 1220)

Britney Spears and Paris Hilton are proof you don't need to wear clothes to get on Mr. Blackwell's "worst dressed" list

Using his keen business sense to exploit another publicity opportunity, The Donald agrees with Rosie that Barbara Walters is a liar

MTV takes "The Real World" down under

Britney checks in to "an exclusive spa" -- that's "rehab" for us po' folk

Tue January 09, 2007:

# of Comments

Donald Trump to get a star on Hollywood Walk of Fame. No word if comb-over also gets a star

(17)

Howard Stern gets 22.1 million shares of Sirius stock for helping to achieve 2006 subscriber numbers. Unfortunately, that only adds up to seven bucks

(55)

Fire prevents anyone from being able to come and knock on Suzanne Sommers' Malibu door for a long time

The Cusack and Jeremy Piven aren't BFFs anymore. Cusack unlikely to hold up boombox outside Piven's window, he's being a jerk about it

Nightcrawler marries, Magneto jealous

Who lives in a pineapple in Ger-ma-ny?

Ella Fitzgerald to be honored with postage stamp

Pre-ordering starts on Amazon for seventh and final book in the Harry Potter series, despite criticism that some unscrupulous publishers are using pre-orders to artifically jack a book's opening-week sales ranking

(74)

Hollywood's horror remake frenzy remains unstoppable, refuses to die: "Friday the 13th" to be resurrected

Bill O'Reilly and Stephen Colbert will appear on each other's shows in a battle of smuginess

Kelly Osbourne wants to bare all for Playboy, but says, "I'd have to have some airbrushing on my tits." Hef probably considering it because Carnie Wilson posed once

(74)

Jack Bauer to face his most fearsome opponent yet: A Canadian comedian

(40)

(Some Woman)

Proving that Americans will watch anything in game-show format, Lifetime premieres "Gay, Straight, or Taken?" Television for Idiots, indeed

Rosie O'Donnell calls Barbara Walters a "farking liar" then proceeds to eat 1,000 bagels

(67)

(The Rad Report)

Miss USA Tara Conner, ironically, gets busted flirting on set of dog magazine photo shoot

James Cameron to resume sucking in 2009

(30)

Firecrotch gets out of the hospital, goes right back to doing what put he in there to begin with. Hooray for the death of personal responsibility

(18)

Hilary Swank adjusts to being on her own, says new stabling is very nice, enjoys the hot oats every morning

(38)

(variety)

M. Night Shyamalan to direct big screen version of Avatar: The Last Airbender

(60)

Hitler comedy stirring up controversy in Germany... for being boring

(64)

(WBJB)

Members of Sha-Na-Na lobby NJ to pass Anti-Imposter Law. In other news members of Sha-Na-Na are still alive

(68)

(Digital Journal)

Will Smith claims he can laugh any woman into bed; Jada Pinkett not amused

(29)

Australia kindly requests that the USA stop sending their trollops over here. Thanks, mate

(63)

Designer and animator of Scooby Doo dies, would have lived longer if it wasn't for those meddling kids

(164)

Guitarist "Sneaky" Pete Kleinow, founding member of the Flying Burrito Brothers, rides his E-string to the grave at 72

(26)

Mon January 08, 2007:

# of Comments

(TV Shows On DVD)

TV's talking horse finally making its way to DVD

(39)

Eddie Murphy fans stand outside Scary Spice's house and yell insults. In other news, Eddie Murphy still has fans