Drew Curtis' FARK.com -- Entertainment Archives for '2006-11-12 23:59:59'

# of Comments

Drive a magnetic ball through a magnetic world

Reason # 9483 that hollywood profits are down. They made Van Wilder 2. - - without Van Wilder

(53)

(wiki)

In his lifetime, Isaac Asimov published over 500 books

(19)

Which celebrities are you often surprised to hear described as HOT since you most decidedly believe they are NOT? LGN and voting is enabled

(60)

Games 4 Girls

(40)

(Family.org)

There won't be any screenings of "Borat" at the Focus on the Family headquarters anytime soon

Rappers with socially-conscious messages shunned in Miami for not properly "representing the MIA"

After critical acclaim of Brokeback Mountain, Hollywood ready embrace another movie with homosexuals. Specifically, Beyonce and Eva Longoria as a lesbian couple in new movie "Tipping the Velvet." Blockbuster, baby

(213)

Cindy Margolis may pose nude again -- when she's in her 70's. Eat your heart out, Bea Arthur

Forget who was the best Bond. Who was the best Bond girl?

(52)

New Fantasy Soap League

(3)

Cletus threatens to go public with sex tapes: "Kevin has told Britney she should comply with his demands otherwise the whole world will see her having sex, which will be devastating."

(326)

James Bond: Separating 00-truthy from 00-phooey

(WTOC)

Tens of fans gather to celebrate all things 'Dukes of Hazzard' at Duke's Annual Music Fest

White Wolf and makers of Eve Online merge. Now you can pay 15 dollars a month to pretend to be a moody emo vampire in the vast emptiness of space

(50)

"Out" magazine names Sharon Stone and Melissa Etheridge as gay icons. Derek Jeter and A-Rod seen consoling each other

Sat November 11, 2006:

# of Comments

(MSN)

What do Magnum P.I., Hulk Hogan and Borat all have in common? They're in this slideshow of TV's Best Moustaches

(QJ.Net)

Samuel L. Jackson to once again host annual Spike TV Video Game Awards

Elton John wants all religion banned because he believes it promotes hatred of gays and turns people into "hateful lemmings"

(119)

American beers take home boucoup prizes in Swedish beer festival

Slideshow of James Bond's best spy cars

(41)

Tony Bennett admits he enjoyed kissing Elton John

(2)

"Back to School" is on Comedy Central. Rodney Dangerfield: Comedy legend or insanely annoying?

(78)

(Chicago Tribune)

'Cars' becomes the first major new release to come out simultaneously on DVD and as an iTunes download. No word on when they'll start releasing the good movies

(38)

Thomas Pynchon fans pumped about imminent release of his next bloated and painfully unreadable novel

(27)

Dan Aykroyd to elementary school kids: "My time is past. I'm old, I've done my thing."

(29)

Remember when Guns N' Roses was good? The person singing this song wrote pretty much all of their good ones. Hint: it ain't Axl

(24)

(Perezhilton.com)

FedEx forced to stay in a cheap hotel and buy underwear at Wal-Mart now that his human ATM has cut him loose

(22)

(Daily Gamecock)

"MXC" returns for fifth season

(36)

Guy who was married to Britney for five minutes and was paid to annul marriage chastizes Cletus for spending all her money

New film depicts Jesus as black because, you know, the Jews really come from Africa

(83)

(Female First)

Daniel Radcliffe is proud to be an obnoxious, opinionated 17-year-old

(27)

Fri November 10, 2006:

# of Comments

(Comcast News)

Critics argue that Dane Cook steals all his material. Dane Cook submitted this with a funnier, stolen headline

Ryan Phillippe fires new publicist after just one day for telling tabloid he's not jealous of Reese

(4)

Before Britney dumped K-Fed by text message, Val Kilmer found out his wife had dumped him on CNN

(Spong)

WoW subscriptions make Blizzard over £1,350,000,000 per year, which is more than the nominal GDP of Belize

(54)

David Duchovny trades aliens and spaceships for sex and drugs

(19)

(witz.org)

Nicole Richie Dances like Elaine Benes (with proof)

(15)

(Some paper)

Jack Palance, dead at 85. Or maybe 87

(243)

Courtney Love to appear nude in magazine. Which was 13,845th on Farkers' "Wish List Of People We'd Like To See Naked"

(211)

Prince Charles impresses school kids with his story-telling skills. Including the one where the evil princess was killed by the speeding chariot in an enemy kingdom, allowing the handsome prince to marry his horse

(50)

007 flirts with Dame Judy Dench: "She has the naughtiest eyes in showbusiness. She looks you straight in the eye and is stunning."

(17)

(BS)

Penn and Teller's BS is soliciting photos and stories about why Florida sucks for an upcoming show. Post your own examples in the comment thread - voting enabled

(332)

David Copperfield makes thief disappear for two years

"At one time she was America's darling who seemed to have it all. Her songs were at the top of the charts and everyone was talking up her music videos." Then she got married. Surprisingly, article not about Britney

Shar Jackson on FedEx, the man who left her while she was pregnant for Britney Spears: "He's such a nice guy." Translation: "I'm doing him again."

(Sun Journal.com)

What happens when you tell Guns and Roses that they can't drink for the hour or so they're onstage? They cancel the show. Maine to Axl: DIAF asshat

(35)

Pamela Anderson confirms miscarriage

(34)

Heath Ledger doesn't know much about Batman or the Joker

(45)

(Celebslam)

Johnny Depp inching ever closer to a Scientology conversion

(28)

Host of TV reality show “Cheaters” hopes to convince court he’s really not a lowlife he’s just misunderstood

(TrekWeb)

Shatner offers advice to filmmakers on recasting Captain Kirk: "He's got to be handsome. He's got to be athletic. He's got to be rich. He's got to be funny. He's got to get the girl--the sort of things I do"

(92)

Thu November 09, 2006:

# of Comments

Reno 911 the Movie, 4 times as long, 10 times as stupid

(45)

Dressed as a supervillain called “The Human Anchor”, Lindsay Lohan has the power to pull anyone down to her level of depravity with just one touch and a line of blow

Anna Nicole Smith discharged from hospital. For some reason I doubt this will be the last time we see "Anna Nicole Smith" and "discharge" in the same sentence

(LucyLawless.info)

The producers of Battlestar Galactica finally announce what every fanboy has been dreaming of: Hot cylon-on-cylon action. Geeks, you may now commence your fapping

Bryan Singer considers directing "Wolverine." Someone get his signature before Uwe Boll finds out about this

(19)

The Top 10 bands on TV ever

(85)

Rosario Dawson and Jason Lewis split. No word on next actress Lewis will hitch his wagon to in order to futher his "acting" career

Will "Lost" viewers return in February after six-episode mini-season that answered no questions and introduced seven dozen more?

(51)

The 10 hottest chicks to get divorced in 2006. No, Liza Minelli didn't make the list

(29)

Elle Macpherson repels mugger with 'nipples of fury'

(Dose.ca)

Sequel You Didn’t Know Was Being Made Gets Lead Actor You Never Heard Of

(Some Girl)

LOST producers say last night's episode was meant to piss us off - so we'd have to come back in February. While I'm furious...I'll still be back in February

(50)

Toni Morrison in Paris for new series at Louvre, apparently unaware of track record of American poets with that surname

(14)

(Deadspin)

From the straight-to-DVD department: Dennis Rodman and Verne Troyer will star in a movie about a dwarf hoops team with Rodman as their coach

American Idol's Kelly Pickler turns 6th place into a No. 1 album on Billboard's country chart

The worst movies ever that you can't help but watch

(643)

(Celebslam)

Lindsay Lohan has already designed her wedding dress. The odds of the dress being crotchless are currently hovering between "extremely likely" and "103%"

(31)

The sex tape was NOT Britney

(33)

I'm Mike Wallace, I'm Morley Safer, and I'm...ack *thud*

(166)

(People Magazine)

Paparazzi invasion, flying laptops, senior citizen injured, Mounties forced to restore order. Just another day in the life of Denise Richards

(6)

Why did Britney file for divorce now? The answer is in the prenup

(24 Dash)

Jessica Simpson embarrassed after accidentally hiring a man-whore for a blind date

(41)

(Press-Citizen)

Oxygen, the "Women's Network" has a show celebrating women who kill their husbands. Real promo: "...the fun ended when Sheila touched her husband with the blade of a knife"

(438)

New biography says Paris Hilton's parents are proud of her sex video

(116)

Mick Jagger gets financing to produce feature film called "The Woman." Rumors has it that early pitch meeting consisted of Mick tossing his little black book on the conference room table

Daniel Craig admits he had to use stunt doubles packing stunt penises for his sex scenes in new James Bond movie

(34)

(Washington Times)

Laguna Beach doesn't like the way it's portrayed on MTV's "Laguna Beach." In other news, the real world isn't particularly thrilled about its namesake show either

Edward James Olmos trying desperately to slow down Battlestar Galactica's approach to Earth. "In my mind we could go on for 15 years with this series and commenting on the world we live in"

(39)

Third "Mad Max" sequel delayed. Director blames George Bush and Tony Blair. No, really

(15)

New website allows Britons to make absolutely sure they are no relation whatsoever to Tom Cruise

(4)

Cletus files for sole custody of his children. Well, not all his kids. Just the ones that he had with the uber-rich pop singer

(35)

Wed November 08, 2006:

# of Comments

(newindpress.com)

Helicopter carrying Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie makes illegal landing at hotel. Pilot apparently became confused when Pitt started screaming at wife to "get to the choppah... NOW"

(17)

(TMZ.com)

Baldwin brother busted, again, no not that one, or that one, or that one. Yeah that one (with mugshot goodness)

Official "Lost" 3.6 discussion thread, last episode until February 2007

(395)

Paul Newman and Robert Redford - who last appeared together on screen 33 years ago - have reunited for the 25th anniversary of the Sundance Institute. (with Pic) Older TFers can't believe Paul Newman is 81

(23)

Tonight at the House of Blues in Chicago is your chance to laugh at Kevin Federline for free

(Movies Online)

Pilot episode officially in works for "The Sarah Connor Chronicles". In related news, the Fark Tech Tab became self-aware at 2:14 PM EST, November 8th, 2006

Cameron Diaz wishes she had a fuller booty, meanwhile Kate Winslet likes her saggy boobs and stretch marks. Really

What led curler Christine Keshen to complain "I had bruised knees, an aching back, sore abs and my mouth hurt"? (w/pic)

(16)

"Weird Al's persona has been bulletproof for 25 years because it's authentic. He mocks the pieties of our hipness. His parodies do important cultural work. He has singlehandedly tutored the MTV generation in critical thinking"

(Glam.com)

Orlando Bloom admits being a knob polisher

(22)

Regis Philben meets Borat. Bonus: Watching Regis' reaction when Borat calls Madonna a transvestite

(41)

Im dvrcng u cltus (w/video goodness)

(228)

(People Magazine)

Lindsay Lohan tells Oprah she's not a party girl. Oprah rushed to hospital after injuring spleen from hysterical laughter

Famous art and the photographs that inspired them

New Bond movie sets Guinness world record for most cannon rolls in a car

Simon Cowell is used to being booed, just not for making the speech at his best friend's wedding reception

Playboy proves that porn without a net connection still profitable, beating negative Wall Street predictions

(Gawker)

Cletus releases Britney sex tape? Picture in story is NSFW

So Eminem said "Oh yes you did!" and Mariah Carey said "Uh uh!" so he was all "You a liar" and she was all "No way, never, no"

(17)

(The Superficial)

Elisha Cuthbert has seen better days. You'd still hit it

(46)

Four members of same family have performed the stunts in all the James Bond movies

(3)

(some dork blog)

If you thought "Dazed and Confused" was a pretty accurate portrayal of 1976, this guy with way too much time on his hands begs to differ, to a frightening OCD level

Andrew Dice Clay and Willis were classmates. Whachoo talkin' bout?

Tue November 07, 2006:

# of Comments

Pre-Nup-O-Zao: The Entire Story

(108)

Interviewer: KFed can you freestyle for us? KFed: *Looking lost and on the spot* "I'm going to freestyle this drink." Interviewer: "So I'll do it then"

(112)

Tom and Katie's wedding will have a groom's side, a bride's side and a Scientology side. Not to mention the whole thing will be a bit on the gay side

Move over 50 Cent: Steve-O wants to be a rapper

Iranian soap star faces public flogging after her sex tape is also made public. Why, oh why couldn't Paris Hilton have been born in Iran?

(28)

(Celebslam)

Russell Crowe ruins Halloween by pre-arranging for his son to recieve such treats as "rice crackers" and "radishes"

(16)

"Let's face it, the best thing about comic books is the wide variety of gorgeous colored crotches that are featured within ... " (pics)

Pre-nup-o-zao

"Shawshank Redemption" screenwriter discusses George Lucas's rejection of his "Indiana Jones IV" script. "Real kick to the nuts"

Zach Braff is farking Jessica Biel. Why him? *cut to fantasy scene where he's falling off a cliff and submitter is slipping into bed with her*

The Faith Hill Damage Control Unit is working 24/7 to take the heat off of her and turn it to "I can't believe Faith Hill hired these guys as PR"

(24)

(CAP News)

"Yo Momma" named worst show in history of television

(86)

Hollywood is out of ideas: "The Incredible Hulk" set to hit theaters in summer 2008. Hopefully Banner will not spend movie moping about daddy Nick Nolte this time

Billy Zane and Kelly Brook planning to get married in Greece, which sort of removes the guesswork on how the honeymoon will go

Kayne West blames "a little sippy-sippy" for him going all dumby-dumbass on stage at MTV Europe awards

(38)

Faith Hill claims it was a botched joke

(HornyOyster.com)

Awesome 80s cartoon intros

(33)

Philosophy of sex of famous people

"Borat" becomes biggest-grossing smallest film ever released in North America on fewer than 1,000 screens. Suck it, Michael Moore

Los Angeles judge tells Britney to "suck it." Metaphorically speaking, or course

(4)

"Monty Python" star Jones celebrates "miracle recovery" from cancer with his 23-year-old girlfriend. Way to go, buddy

(29)

Country Music Awards shocker-Faith Hill storms off camera after loss to Carrie Underwood

Don't feel too bad if you hate Boy George. You know who else hates him? Culture Club, that's who

(5)

Cletus Federline disapppoints 300 fans in NY by starting concert 3 hours late. In related news, Cletus shocked to learn he has 300 fans

(Joblo)

Darren Aronofsky's next movie to be "biblical epic" based on poem he wrote in seventh grade. M. Night Shyamalan saves him seat in Over-indulgent Wunderkind Directors Anonymous

(31)

Mon November 06, 2006:

# of Comments

(Subby wants one)

Coolest farking boat ever

Everybody's favorite train wreck, Courtney Love, behaves erratically at book signing. When asked why people would still be interested in her, she had no answer. Seriously

Rapper The Game leaks his own album onto the Internet. Instead of trying to show the RIAA that this tactic actually works, he likens it to selling drugs in the hood

Hilary Swank injured while filming striptease scene. No word on eye injuries to cameraman

(53)

"F-word" gets its own movie. Farkin' A

(24)

(Some Girl)

Video of Kirstie Alley in bikini on Oprah. The joke just writes itself

(82)

The entire M*A*S*H series released on 36 DVDs, 18 of which are presumptuous preachiness and 18 are pure laugh-track-enhanced comedy gold

Roger Moore says playing James Bond doesn't require great acting skills. Guess that explains him taking roles in "Boat Trip," "Spice World" and "The Secret KGB Sex Files"

Biographer says Paris Hilton was pushed into stardom, headboard

Christopher Walken to portray Ozzy Osbourne in film based on autobiography of Mötley Crüe

(27)

K-Fed plans to write pamphlet detailing his life before Britney

(31)

Regis Philbin wants to be godfather to Madonna's newly adopted son

Meat Loaf realizes that paradise by the dashboard light doesn't mean a biggie-size triple cheeseburger meal with a frosty

(16)

Just a hint, when the guy at the Residence Inn is asking you questions about if you want to kill Hilary Duff that weekend, it may be a set up

(celeb slap)

McConaughey turned down an orgy with two sisters because of karma

The mom of "Cheaper by the Dozen" has died

Busta Rhymes given a ticket in New York for talking on his cell phone