Drew Curtis' FARK.com -- Entertainment Archives for '2006-10-08 23:59:59'

# of Comments

HGTV Dream House not what it was cracked up to be. Tom Hanks, Shelley Long seen nodding knowingly

(58)

(PR Inside)

Angelina Jolie's bodyguard is tired of being photographed

(bizofshowbiz)

The coming wacky, crazy world of online TV channels

(3)

David Hasselhoff has reached 3 in the UK charts, apparently many Germans were on holiday in the UK this week

Katie Holmes proves the existence of the time-space continuum

(Fametastic)

Rod Stewart thinks Paris Hilton will eventually grow out of her self-obsession

(4)

(The Trades)

Hollywood is out of ideas: Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause

(People.co.uk)

TV actress says she's baffled by all the lesbian fan mail after her hot lesbian jailhouse sex scene

Justin Timberlake wants to quit making music; he's tired of the girls tearing his clothing off, the performing onstage, the bottles of pee thrown at him

Angelina Jolie says that she wants more love scenes with women so she can talk with them about shopping and such

(The Student Operated Press.)

The Top 9 Reasons to Become an Evil Villain

(Times-Leader)

Jack Palance, 87, will sell at auction a lifetime collection of neat stuff in PA

Her son became famous for “Running with Scissors” and telling the world she was a crazy monster. But she loves him still

(Some Sammich)

Victoria: "I've got so much saggy skin on my stomach and I've got no bum at all. I might fit into jeans but, trust me, I look really awful naked"

Just watched Star Trek Wrath of Khan on TV. Apprently, a Starfleet scientific research vessel can detect minute life on a planet, but can't detect 12 or so human beings

(53)

The Big Band covers Zappa, latest CD “Take Your Clothes Off When You Dance” is fitting tribute indeed

Steve Irwin gets potentially-extinct turtle named after him

The Hoff goes on a toe-sucking, bum-grabbing rampage

(3)

Jack Nicholson admits women sometimes turn him down

1000 ways to open a beer

(59)

(daily progress.com)

Want to be drawn into an episode of "The Family Guy"? Just be the high bidder on it at the Virginia Air Museum's fundraiser

(52)

Kermit's flying through the air, and it's not from a Miss Piggy karate chop this time: Muppets to teach in Afghanistan about landmine safety

(Some Puny Human)

Everything you wanted to know about the Hulk * but were afraid to ask

(68)

Jack Osbourne pisses away career with David Hasselhoff by his side

Sat October 07, 2006:

# of Comments

Some stupid Klingon paid $500K for a 72" model of the Enterprise, (from the Next Generation series, no less). Submitter hates Trekkies

(181)

Why The Big Lebowski is a cult classic

(34)

New Tolkien book to be published. Christopher Tolkien seen holding paycheck, muttering "My precioussss"

"Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning is so completely boring that I was stunned to learn that it was only 84 minutes long"

(9)

The return of the Playboy Bunnies at the new Playboy Club in Vegas; let's hope they start multiplyin' like, well, you know

(30)

Tom Cruise sues over unauthorized use of image on sex toy. Somewhat Not safe for work article

(56)

Patrick Duffy stars in English pantomime of 'Cinderella'

Interview with Terry Gilliam about his strange new film, and how he expects people to walk out on it

(Bantha Fodder)

George Lucas rapes your wallet yet again: 30th Anniversary Star Wars box set to be released next year with all six films

(173)

(TMZ)

Two more guys step in the "I'm the father of Anna Nicole's baby" line. No word on when they'll all go on Maury to sort it out

Time asks Rupert Murdoch ten Fair and Balanced questions

Harry Potter - pampered jock, patsy, fraud

(MiceAge)

Disneyland to ditch Tom Sawyer Island for more Johnny Depp audio-animatronics. "it was obvious these were characters no one under the age of thirty knew much about" (second story)

Jamie Lee Curtis is done with acting. Picture in article might be the reason

(35)

Martha Stewart claims she still doesn't know why she went to jail

(DVD Talk)

In a shocking turn of events, 'Employee of the Month', might not get an Oscar nomination

16 year-old actress Keisha Castle-Hughes, nominated for Best Actress for The Whale Rider, is pregnant. Apparently has ridden more than just a whale

(51)

(hollywood reporter)

Tower Records being liquidated, Mega Going out of business sale starting saturday. End of an era

(43)

People who look like celebrities in almost as much demand as the celebrities themselves. This headline brought to you by a dead ringer for Steve Buscemi

Fri October 06, 2006:

# of Comments

(Cinematical)

The special effects are terrible, the plot lines are riddled with holes, but the straight to DVD B-horror movies finally have their own film festival

"Battlestar Galactica" season premiere discussion thread. Mother FRACKER

(674)

Charlie hates working with cast of "Lost" because they're all complaining back-stabbers. They just can't believe you're dating Kate, silly hobbit

Actor who voiced Dobby confirms that the house elf won't be in next Harry Potter film. (This story is for all the eight-year old farkers)

In case you hadn't heard, Battlestar Galactica, the best thing to happen to television since the cathode ray tube, has its season premiere tonight on SciFi

(35)

(People)

Tina Yothers says "I'm ready to wear a bikini"

(dnaindia.com)

Danish TV channel shows video depicting Mohammad as beer-drinking camel. What could possibly go wrong?

(18)

Britney Spears has ripped into husband Kevin Federline in a new song inspired by tigers

(WWTDD)

Mercedes McNab from Buffy poses for Playboy; you'll want to click on this for the Not Safe For Work article

42-year old Elle MacPherson now says plastic surgery is probably OK, forget all that stuff I was saying when I was younger

(23)

Iggy Pop's concert rider deemed the funniest ... and most bizarre ... in concert history

(79)

(Some Movie Buff)

Ten "chick flicks" men don't have to be afraid of. Just in time for Sweetest Day

(302)

(Radio & Records)

Clear Channel launches the "search for the next progressive radio star." First challenge: Define what "progressive" means in today's world of corporate radio

Is... that... your final... answer? Captain Kirk to host "Millionaire" rip-off

(Cracked Magazine)

8 most insane moments in pro wrestling

(58)

Wastin' away again in Toulon-Hyèresville: Jimmy Buffett caught with 100 ecstasy tabs at French airport, released

Justin Timberlake isn't marrying Cameron Diaz because he wants their sex life to last longer. "We like having sex. Why would we want to ruin a good thing?"

(Metadish)

Scarlett Johansson and Dita von Teese, master and servant. (Not safe for work)

(37)

Jessica Simpson gets closer to nervous breakdown as her star starts to fall. Or her boobs. Either one

Shakira to build school in Colombian hometown. The facade is pretty scary, the drapes are two-tone, and the rear is disproportionately large

(24)

NBC picks up "Heroes" for a full season, garbage disposals be damned

(68)

Crazy old Asian lady claims she was John Lennon's first Asian lover, paving the way for Yoko Ono (with sexy picture)

(144)

(Etacovda)

Miss Cleo comes out of the closet. For $5.99 a minute, she'll tell you who she's screwed besides countless dopey customers

George Lucas announces "Indiana Jones 4" is a go, will be released shortly after "Howard the Duck Forever" and "Close Encounters 2: Extraterrestrial Boogaloo"

Thu October 05, 2006:

# of Comments

The Browncoats fight no more: "Serenity 2" is dead

(62)

New "Fantastic Four" movie to feature battle between Silver Surfer and Galactus

(31)

Jessica Biel shows us that she can bend her body in amazing ways and yet kick our asses (with tons of pics)

Nicole Richie still starved for love, splits with latest boyfriend

(Hot Celebs)

Jessica Simpson see-through outside TRL taping

(WNBC)

Woman says her dog ate her "winning" Powerpoint ticket. Still no cure for stupidity

Snow Patrol is the first band from the UK to hit the Top 5 of the Billboard Top 100 in 13 years. For some perspective on how long its been, the last band was Duran Duran

(48)

(dose.ca)

"24" actor not thrilled by the whole assassination and no-longer-getting-paid-a-whole-lot-of-money thing

(49)

Ryan Phillipe thinks he cool because he got wasted with Shirley MacLaine. I guess Bea Arthur had a prior engagement

(18)

Marilyn Manson will join Roseanne Barr and Sharon Osbourne on the Halloween edition of "The Tonight Show," marking the first time he won't be the scariest person in the room

The good news: George Lucas will not make any more movies. The bad news: He's going to make TV shows, lots of them

The Killers try to "bring back" rock, but not all critics are onboard. Especially those that have listened to their new album

(50)

Tara Reid reaches a new Hollywood low: Her next movie going straight-to-AOL

(21)

R. Lee Ermey says Stanley Kubrick told him "Eyes Wide Shut" was a "piece of shiat" and was ruined by Cruise and Kidman. Maggot unavailable for comment

(55)

Damage your keyboard seriously with this game

(88)

Prince offers strippers double their wages to stop dancing. "No-one knows why he comes here. He doesn't drink, doesn't like the music and now doesn't like the dancers."

(156)

One legged man playing DDR. Up next, the ass kicking contest

(Ft. Wayne News Sentinel)

Know more stats about Eva Longoria than Terrell Owens? Maybe the Tabloid Fantasy League is for you

"In a career spanning four decades, Aerosmith has survived heroin addiction, motorcycle wrecks, evil women and treacly pop ballads.."

Reports that Madonna adopted a boy from Malawi are false. She instead claims that she is adopting an "entire country of children"

(Some Cynical Comedian)

Once again George Carlin cuts through the bullshiat and tells you how it is in America

(92)

Actress Tamara Dobson (Cleopatra Jones) gets drop kicked by MS and pneumonia at 59

Top 10 passion cars

(28)

Organization deems Paris Hilton a "celebutard," Posh Spice a "tanorexic," and anyone with excess belly fat a "muffintop"

(44)

(Some Wikilist)

If the last 20 years are an indication, more proof that Hollywood is fresh out of ideas

The top 15 movie mistakes (with photo evidence)

(256)

Wed October 04, 2006:

# of Comments

Who's Line: Alien SFX attack

(Blinky Productions)

Blue Beetle and Booster Gold tell America's kids "Don't Smoke"

(Businessweek)

Europe holds design "Oscars." Trust me, these are some damn odd creations

(2)

Top 10 Jack Nicholson scenes

(31)

(Variety.com)

NBC is figuring out viewers like "People Who Do Stuff" over "People Who Talk About Stuff"

(Entertainment Weekly)

Official "Lost" season premiere discussion thread. LGT EW's handy primer

(457)

(Some Smirking Guy)

Calista Flockhart thought a creepy old dude was sleeping in her car. Turns out to be her geriatric boyfriend, Harrison Ford. Police say that he was not touching his own wookie

(Hollywood.com)

Maggie Gyllenhaal aand Peter Sarsgaard aannounce the birth of their new daaughter

(16)

Fergie admits that while she was on meth, she would go out and party, then stop by Home Depot and do some renovations on her house

Carrie Fisher slept with a nerd to bag Star Wars role. "I slept with some nerd. I hope it was George [Lucas]"

(18)

(Some Horseface Guy)

Tori Spelling confirms she will birth a foal in the paddock next year

Jackie Chan turns down working with Sly Stallone in the movie Rambo 4: First Blood Drawn at the Nursing Home

Castro, West Hollywood and Greenwich Village will be empty this weekend. Cher is having a garage sale

(Derek Hail)

Shanna Moakler punches Paris Hilton in the face, gets shoved down a flight of steps

(39)

The price of dumping Cletus is $10,000,000

(39)

Hilary Duff gives financial advice to teens. Because most teens have mortgages, eight-figure bank accounts and limitless credit cards

(andPOP)

"Trailer Park Boys: The Movie" to hit theatres. For you non-Canucks, think "Strange Brew" meets "Hee-Haw"

(49)

Pioneering porn "Deep Throat" is picked as one of the top 100 landmark films of all times, ranked with "Citizen Kane" and "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs"

(67)

Children made such an adorable fashion accessory for Angelina, so Madonna is going to accessorize too

(23)

Trey Parker and Matt Stone dropped acid and dressed in drag for the 2000 Oscars

(56)

For those interested in that sort of thing, Hasbro now makes "Halloween exclusive" My Little Pony dolls

(42)

Elton John teams up with Bath & Body Works on new line of candles. Are they supposed to be all bumpy like that?

(16)

(FP Passport)

Yes, Kevin Smith even pisses people off in Iraq

(TV Squad)

He may write about bizarre things, but Stephen King abhors Nancy Grace just like the rest of us

(31)

(Some Karaokiers)

Wayne Coyne of the Flaming Lips and Rufus the Puppet sing duet on "We Built This City"; still sucks less than the Starship version

Five things about "Transformers." Fails to include fact that movie is being filmed in Detroit because they won't have to digitally enhance it to look like a completely destroyed Los Angeles

(Monsters and Critics)

Carrie Fisher believes she's haunted by a dead, gay Republican. But then again, aren't we all?

New pub landlady surprised to discover one of the regulars is a horse who likes a beer

Billy Ray Cyrus, desperate for 15 more minutes, writes Achy Breaky Plane tribute song for Lynyrd Skynyrd; link is safe without any audio clips

Tue October 03, 2006:

# of Comments

Here are NewsMax's 25 most influential talk-radio hosts. Two of Fark's "media friends" have made the list

(36)

Californian suing pet talent agency because her Rottweiler's scene was cut from "The Tyra Banks Show"

Following in the steps of Tupac, The Beatles will be releasing a new album

(25)

The Hoff launches Malibu Dave clothing line to help men dress like him. "It's just going to be supercool, laid back surfing gear," he says, then goes on to add that Elvis is living at his house. Seriously

Marc Cohn's shooter gets 36 years in prison. No word on whether the singer is back on his feet or "walking in Memphis"

Not news: Britney Spears on the cover of November's Q Magazine. News: She's simulating oral sex on a lollypop. Fark.com: She's nine months pregnant and wearing a bikini

(53)

Weezer sues Miller beer. Perhaps getting permission should be a man law

(32)

(Israel Insider)

Watching "Battlestar Galactica" from the Middle East

(35)

(Jalopnik)

Stephen Colbert airs GM's Silverado controversial rough-cut commercial as stolen from Jalopnik (likely found via Fark link). Jalopnik gets pissed

(125)

(Bayraider)

Buy Lucy Liu's sarong from "Charlie's Angels" on Ebay. Seller claims the "minor light yellow stains" are from "make-up or a spilled drink." Sure

Wanda Sykes says Foley now giving alcohol a bad name, and although she's been drunk a lot, she's never felt like putting the moves on the Girl Scouts

Front-page Seattle news: Our American Idol singers are "astoundingly awful." Officiating clearly to blame

(Sun2Surf)

Seventeen-year-old Low Sook Yee wins big prize on reality TV show, prepares to return to school. Sook ducks

Russian TV remaking sitcoms like "Perfect Strangers" and "Full House." Can't wait for the premiere of "Steppe By Steppe"

Tori Spelling is pregnant. Hopefully, this will end her acting career

David Beckham to teach Brad and Angelina's son how to play soccer, pick up bony chicks

George Clooney hatches plan to thwart paparazzi: Date a different beautiful starlet every night. Not sure that will work, George, but if that's the excuse you need...

(Bumpshack)

Larry Birkhead suing Anna Nicole Smith over the paternity of her child. What a jerk, let her grieve for her son first

(Ireland Online)

George Michael holds press conference in public restroom to deny he has a problem

(Daily Mail)

Kate Bosworth isn't taking her break up with Orlando Bloom well (with SFW pic)

(41)

Kevine Federline parties, Britney Spears feeds the baby

(TMZ)

Movie marquee edited for profanity. Now showing: Jackbutt Two (with pic). Dumbbutt tag unavailable

(24)

Why carve a pumpkin when you can mutilate it with plastic body parts, Potato Head style?

Snakes On A Plane to be out on DVD on January 2. Some people argue it should have gone straight there

(40)

Arrrrrgh... U.S. loses $20.5 billion annually to movie pirates, according to a consultant who certainly wasn't hired by the MPAA

(36)

David Hasselhoff falls asleep on British TV. Says he was pretty tired

Mon October 02, 2006:

# of Comments

If you think David Hasselhoff's music is bad today, you need to hear the song he recorded for the Pingu kids' cartoon which was released only in Switzerland. The Sun has, and they have a handy link

(71)

Battlestar Galactica will return to the Sci-Fi channel on Friday. While you wait, enjoy this gag reel from season 2

Clapton playing "Cocaine" in concert again. Cocaine's a helluva song

Nobody's crowing over it yet, but Donald Trump's daughter is apparently having a ball with Lance Armstrong

(107)

(Rolling Stone)

Name that tattooed rock celebrity

First look at the poster for what will be one of the worse films of 07

(227)

A list of actors who will always be known for one role. Screech didn't make it, but Mr. Belding did

(70)

Non-stop barrage of "U.S. marketing machines" makes Canadians ignore homegrown programming, miss the subtle nuances and sharp intellect of "Trailer Park Boys"

(34)

Wardrobe Malfunction II: Electric Boobaloo? In an attempt to "re-boost the sales of their albums", Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake planning to appear together again on a major live television event

(Some Mopar Guy)

Auto museum places Plymouth Fury used in the film "Christine" on Ebay, because possession by evil beats a 100K warranty any day of the week

(SyFyPortal)

"Firefly" shuts out "Battlestar Galactica" in 2006 Emmy Awards. That's right, 2006

(86)

Robin Williams says Mel Gibson being a drunken asshat made him want to enter rehab

(4)

(Lohanjob.com)

Paris Hilton forgets to wear pants. Again. (With kind-of-SFW pic)

(21)

(This Is London)

Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen of TV's "Changing Rooms" is not gay, says his beard... err... wife

Tony Parker seen getting a little too close to a "tall blonde" at Scorsese after-party. Break up ensues

Netflix offers $1M reward for ideas to beat Blockbuster. Submitter suggests "Rent porn" and waits for check

(162)

(Cinescape)

Hollywood is out of ideas: Director announced for "WarGames 2"

(28)

Posh Spice vows never to sing again or to take up acting; will still continue to design clothes and browbeat David Beckham

"Lost" fans swamp Waikiki to see cast, disappointed to find jailhouse cannot accomodate them all

Historians slam Kirsten Dunst's "Marie Antoinette" because she gives too much head, follows the script

Britney loves being naked cause she has nothing to hide. Other than 80 pounds of excess lard, that is

(43)

This week's "New show at the top of the ratings that will be cancelled after two seasons" brought to you on ABC Thursdays at 8/7 Central