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Fri November 20, 2009

Source	Fark Headline		Comments
		Vatican condemns Twilight as "morally deviant". Because only sickos would even think about drinking human blood (imdb.com)	(63)
		Miley Cyrus dressed as a prostitute for her seventeenth birthday party. Of course, the outfit was already in her closet, so maybe that doesn't count (contactmusic.com)	(44)
		NBC anchor Brian Willams says "The Daily Show" has become indespensible to the mainstream news media. Which is really, really sad (2010.newsweek.com)	(88)
		"Wait you're gay and work at Brookstone?" (thedailyshow.com)	(51)
		Sadie Frost will reveal "everything" about Jude Law in her upcoming book. Man, I can't wait to hear whether or not he hogs the covers (contactmusic.com)	(25)
(WTVR)		Miley Cyrus' tour bus crashes in Virginia. Driver dead, no word on the condition of either Miley Cyrus or Hannah Montana (myfox8.com)	(318)
		Dimension Films will screen "Youth in Revolt" a week before it's release, meaning select audiences can see Michael Cera act like he does in everything else (variety.com)	(36)
		Because there were so many storylines that went unresolved in the first two "Jackass" movies, Paramount feels that it's absolutely crucial to produce "Jackass 3-D" (cinematical.com)	(29)
		TLC minus 10 (nydailynews.com)	(53)
		37 Year old Zac Efron graduates high school. Zack and Slater look on approvingly (news.sky.com)	(21)
		Robert Downey Jr. might quit acting, fails to remember that you never go full-retired (cinematical.com)	(29)
		Sean Connery to come out of retirement for some beaver. Alex Trebek's mother unavailable for comment (cinematical.com)	(46)
		Black Eyed Pea apologizes for black-eyed P. Hilton (news.bbc.co.uk)	(49)
		Despite being in London, Mariah Carey flew her personal vet from Los Angeles to New York to help her dog deliver puppies (contactmusic.com)	(39)
		James Van Der Beek files for divorce because apparently he doesn't want to wait, for his life to be over (msnbc.msn.com)	(71)

Thu November 19, 2009

	It's Seth Green versus bloggers who don't like his new commercial. It seems we've reached a new level of irrelevancy (contactmusic.com)	(71)
	Desmond is not a series regular on this season of LOST, brotha (ausiellofiles.ew.com)	(75)
	Oprah prepares for 2012 presidential bid (msnbc.msn.com)	(48)
	Twilight co-stars Dakota Fanning (inappropriate giggity) and Kristen Stewart (giggity) make out in their next movie (giggity) in which they play Joan Jett and Cherie Curie (giggity giggity goo) (okmagazine.com)	(95)
	D'oh: Want to know the plot of "Avatar?" Just read the song listings from the soundtrack. (massive spoilers, obviously) (io9.com)	(114)
	Suave latino man selected as Simpson's create a character contest winner. Such a character has never been in an episode since two episodes ago (msnbc.msn.com)	(81)
	Will Ferrell named most overpaid film star, followed closely by Tom Cruise and Eddie Murphy. In related news, Will Ferrell's agent nominated best damn agent in Hollywood (forbes.com)	(46)
	Jenna Jameson on Oprah: "I wanted to touch people's lives... I may be touching them in a different way." (with vid) (celebitchy.com)	(73)
	Mariah Carey: "I demand 20 white kittens, 100 white doves, 80 security guards, a wand, and butterfly-shaped confetti before I turn on this shopping centre's Christmas lights". In other news, unemployment rates still rising (dailymail.co.uk)	(79)
	Brad Pitt turned down a $5 million dollar public appearance in order to spend time with his kids. It's nice to see someone famous have the right priorities (contactmusic.com)	(98)
	Public Enemy fights powers that be from the back of a flatbed truck (w/ video) (myfoxdc.com)	(25)
	Videotaping each other having sex is something couples do when they really love each other, Pam Anderson explains to her two sons, so they have something to tell the prison therapist at some point in the near future (nydailynews.com)	(32)
	Amy Winehouse's recent hospital visit was actually because her new breast implants went all "GAAAAH, GET US OUT OF HERE" (dlisted.com)	(35)
	Finally, a show that knows how to do a guest star. Not only is Modern Family the best new comedy on TV, they actually got Edward Norton to be on their show last night (nj.com)	(41)
	Kate Hudson is uncomfortable taking about her relationship with Alex Rodriguez. Probably because she doesn't want to testify in front of the inevitable grand jury (contactmusic.com)	(41)
	Ebert on "New Moon:" Sitting through this experience is like driving a pickup in low gear though a sullen sea of Brylcreem (rogerebert.suntimes.com)	(193)
	Michael Moore snubbed by Oscars, Old Country Buffet (oscar-watch.ew.com)	(48)
(Reelz Channel)	♫ Flying away on a wing and a prayer, ♪ Who could it be? ♫ Believe it or not, it's just...Nathan Fillion (reelzchannel.com)	(98)
	Actual headline: "O'DONNELL HID SPLIT FOR TWO YEARS." With what? A circus tent? (contactmusic.com)	(41)

Wed November 18, 2009

	As Demi Moore ages, she's losing a little bit of her hipness (omg.yahoo.com)	(66)
(Us Magazine)	Martha Stewart says the barely kitchen-competent Rachael Ray is the Hydrox to her Oreo (usmagazine.com)	(143)
	JJ Abrams talks about the sequel to Star Trek, and teases a possible actor for the role of Khan. Let's just say that he's perfectly suited to play a guy who is really old but seems oddly young (slashfilm.com)	(285)
	Lindsay Lohan: No, that's not me doing coke in that bathroom. It's some other washed-out bottle blonde with bad skin and a doomed look in her eye (3am.co.uk)	(79)
	Rachel McAdams dismisses rumors that she will suit up in skintight leather and portray Black Cat in Spider-Man 4, proving once and for all that Rachel McAdams hates America (contactmusic.com)	(153)
	Robert De Niro wants to be a rapper. There's one way to end your career (contactmusic.com)	(44)
(Decapolis)	Andy Serkis as Screwtape kicks all kinds of ass, it does (decapolis.com)	(36)
	"What's really depressing to me about TV isn't so much that we haven't seen another Wire-quality show as it is that we haven't even seen a serious effort to produce another show that'd be as good. " (yglesias.thinkprogress.org)	(221)
	Stephen King's sister when he told her the plot of the 1000-page book he'd been working on since the 1970s: "Oh, you mean like The Simpsons Movie?" (blogs.tampabay.com)	(165)
	Julianne Hough will not return for next season of Dancing With the Stars, submitter's telephone calls (cnn.com)	(40)
	Miley Cyrus has not seen or read, nor wants to see or read, Twilight. Well...point to Cyrus, I guess (music-mix.ew.com)	(118)
	Seven great comic book arcs that are too epic for cinema (io9.com)	(154)

Tue November 17, 2009

	The fifteen dumbest superhero retcons of all time, all on one page and not entirely dedicated to Spider-Man or the X-Men (io9.com)	(196)
	Johnny Depp: "Those Pirates movies are artistically stifling and unchallenging." Movie Studio: "We'll give you $21M." Depp: "ARRRRRRRRR" (thesun.co.uk)	(129)
	Sorry, the toothpaste is out of the tube and it's fabulous: Handlers for "American Idol" singer Adam Lambert want to put him back into the closet (blogs.villagevoice.com)	(61)
	Kristen Stewart thinks "it's weird" that we have underwear with costar Taylor Lautner's face on it. Subby thinks "it's weird" that he's attracted to chick with a mullet, but here we are (popwatch.ew.com)	(112)
	"'Thor" finds his warriors three. Kenneth Branagh directing, Stuart Townsend, Ray Stevenson, Natalie Portman, Kirk's dad....this thing might not suck (cinematical.com)	(83)
	"Is Ryan Reynolds the new king of romantic comedy?" Well, wouldn't he have to be, I don't know, funny and actually act once in awhile? (hollywoodcrush.mtv.com)	(69)
	The Strokes' "Is This It" has been named album of the decade by a group of British critics who apparently have been unable to dislodge the CD from their stereo the past eight years (contactmusic.com)	(251)
	Former Dead or Alive frontman Pete Burns lights a cigarette and provides 100 octane nightmare fuel for everybody within view (pic) (dailymail.co.uk)	(82)
	Today's Fark-ready headline: "Cameron Diaz's Box Is One Of The Worst Of All Time" (starpulse.com)	(65)
	The twenty-one biggest fictional TV biatches of all time. List fails for failing to include Tyra Banks (ew.com)	(53)
	Jennifer Morrison of "House" doesn't know why she is being written out of the show, and no one has told her anything. In related news, Jennifer Morrison is really, really pretty (ausiellofiles.ew.com)	(173)
	Clint Eastwood: "We're becoming more juvenile as a nation. The guys who won World War II and that whole generation have disappeared, and now we have a bunch of teenage twits." (nydailynews.com)	(305)
	Esquire hyped its cool new "magazine of the future" with a hologram thingie you hold up to your webcam. But make sure you remove the address label first (pic) (gawker.com)	(22)
	Jessica Alba pounds the pavement in the halls of Congress for education funding. With pictures of what a Jessica Alba asking Hillary Clinton sign her ball might look like. Bonus: Caption Contest (w/voting) (huffingtonpost.com)	(170)
	Skank Crank? Prank. Thank Swank Tank (dlisted.com)	(30)
	Alanis Morissette: "I was both anorexic and bulimic" (cnn.com)	(79)
	For those that missed it, here's the way "Curb Your Enthusiasm" decided to handle that whole "Michael Richards screaming the N-word thing" (some profanity) (examiner.com)	(69)
(Some Guy)	Worst TV ideas of the decade. Firefly being cancelled early in the mix. Bonus: no farking slideshow (film.com)	(98)
	Dane Cook says he wants to play "The Riddler" in the forthcoming "Dark Knight" sequel, just can't decide who to steal inspiration from for the role (examiner.com)	(180)

Mon November 16, 2009

	The decade of the remake and the sequel is complete - only 1 of the 20 top grossing films of the last 10 years was an original (slashfilm.com)	(107)
	Newsweek's pick for the 12 least-funny comedians. Margaret Cho apparently not even considered a comic (newsweek.com)	(224)
	Kenny wasn't like other kids...... Ken Ober passes away. For you youngsters, Ken Ober hosted the best show MTV ever put on the air, "Remote Control" (mtv.com)	(127)
(Digital spy)	The chances that "Ugly Betty" won't be canceled are as likely as Hugh Jackman coming out, appearing on the show, and singing Peter Allen tunes in a spandex and sequins outfit (digitalspy.com)	(26)
(Some Sparkly Emo Vampire)	Robert Pattinson says he was "embarrassed" at rumors he was dating Megan Fox, demanded to know why the press didn't think he had standards (irishcentral.com)	(35)
	Simon Cowell calls Sting "pompous." Sting responds: Okay, your point is? (people.com)	(46)
	What's the deal with former 'Seinfeld' writer-producer Larry Charles returning to television? Not that's there's anything wrong with that (reuters.com)	(32)
	Norah Jones: "Having Jude Law licking my face for three days solid was a surreal experience" (starpulse.com)	(46)
	In honor of his passing, here's Edward Woodward's rendition of "The Tide Will Turn for Rebecca," an Elton John/Bernie Taupin composition. That's right, he was a singer as well as an actor (youtube.com)	(16)
	Patricia Cornwell, whose Kay Scarpetta novels have made her a millionaire and yet are among some of the worst tripe ever written, is suing her financial advisors, claiming they stole millions from her. Maybe that will keep her from writing (contactmusic.com)	(61)
(Some Rehab Reject)	Amy Winehouse hospitalized after two of her "medications" reacted poorly in her system. I had no clue heroin was a medication (nme.com)	(33)
	Feel good story of the day: Last year, Terri White was homeless and sleeping on a bench in Washington Square Park. Now, thanks to the community, she's a Broadway star and getting Tony buzz (nydailynews.com)	(20)
	Rumors abound that A-list Scientologist is about to defect from the church. With photo of what an A-list Scientology defector may look like (specials.msn.com)	(68)
	Megan Fox thinks middle America is stupid. "Jennifer's Body" tanked because the movie is about a man-eating, cannibalistic lesbian cheerleader, and that pretty much eliminates middle America." (charlotteobserver.com)	(87)
	Equalized (imdb.com)	(174)
	Megan Fox says she doesn't want to be like Angelina Jolie. Well, that will never happen, considering Jolie has some class, knows how to convincingly act, and doesn't always choose shiatty roles (contactmusic.com)	(67)
	Disney removes closed captioning from rental copies of "Up." It's actually an intriguing business decision, as the deaf can't voice their outrage (consumerist.com)	(166)

Sun November 15, 2009

	Two actors airbrushed out of British movie poster for "Couples Retreat" because they weren't "as recognizable" as the rest of the cast. Difficulty: they were the two black ones. Uh-oh (starpulse.com)	(89)
	If you're one of the eight people on the planet who thought they were done making "American Pie" movies, you were wrong. And yeah, Eugene Levy's back (starpulse.com)	(59)
	Joss Whedon's post-Dollhouse project might be...a Dollhouse spinoff. Yeah, because the original was so good (io9.com)	(100)
	MGM Studios looks to be headed to the auction block; really, it's hard to imagine a company whose only releases next year are "Red Dawn" and "Hot Tub Time Machine" is in financial trouble (pastemagazine.com)	(78)
	The great destruction porno wins the weekend box office (hollywoodinsider.ew.com)	(114)
	Lindsay Lohan refused to pay for two bottles of wine at a bar, because she's Lindsay Lohan, dammit, and should be entitled to free booze (contactmusic.com)	(79)
(Some Guy)	It's beginning to look more and more like the girl missing from the Metallica concert was a drunken idiot that likely hitchhiked her way onto a milk carton (readthehook.com)	(62)
	Columnist believes that the all-important post-Super Bowl show spot should go to... "The Big Bang Theory", one of the funniest shows on TV. It's hard to disagree with him (popwatch.ew.com)	(84)
	'Hello, Ohio' . . . 'Uh, Boss, we're in Michigan' (google.com)	(82)
	NASA launches a website to dispel fears from Roland Emmerich's "2012". Your tax dollars at work (news.cnet.com)	(138)
	Twenty SNL "dream" hosts. Really, Ricky Gervais and Jane Lynch are funny, but the writers wouldn't know what the hell to do with either of them (ew.com)	(67)
(Some Fool)	Original Murdock to appear in new A-team movie. No word yet on Socky, Lefty, Billy, or when they'll spell the character's name right (thehollywoodnews.com)	(37)

Sat November 14, 2009

	Five shows MTV needs to bring back, including "Unplugged", of which the "most notable performances were from Jay-Z, Alanis Morissette, Alicia Keys and Shakira" (starpulse.com)	(203)
	Megan Fox says the movies she's in are too boring, and she wants to be "covered in blood and vomit" the rest of her life. Well, could we compromise and have her buried under six feet of dirt? (contactmusic.com)	(122)
	If you have over $5,250 to spare, Leonard Nimoy could take you on a private tour of the Griffith Observatory. There's also a tour of ILM studios, but unfortunately that also comes with George Lucas (boingboing.net)	(36)
	Sci-fi fans revolt over SyFy Channel's new astronaut comedy, even though no one's seen it yet (io9.com)	(126)
	Don't call it a comeback. Burt Reynolds has been here for years (tcpalm.com)	(29)
(Morning Star)	"Those who made 'Coraline' are also likely to endorse the evils of abortion and homosexual marriage, and given a chance, could easily change America into a Soviet-style hell on earth." (magic-city-news.com)	(101)
	Rob Van Dam blasts WWE chairman Vince McMahon for killing Extreme Championship Wrestling: "Our hearts were ripped out of our chests and stomped on." IT'S STILL REAL TO HIM, DAMMIT (thesun.co.uk)	(119)
	French President Nicolas Sarkozy presents Clint Eastwood with the nation's highest cultural honor. Go ahead... make his crepes (contactmusic.com)	(15)
(Some ChristWire)	Dramatic exposé on the "Golden Girls", how one show turned a generation of boys into homosexuals; sadly this article is not satire (christwire.org)	(168)
	In the Prisoner reboot, you're in danger of rooting for Number 2 (npr.org)	(61)
	Creepy weatherman leaves around 100 voicemails to girl he just met. Wonders why she won't call him back (lasvegasnow.com)	(155)
	Remember how right wingers were conviced that the new "V" was a trenchant, devastating indictment of the Obama administration? Well, it turns out the show's creator is a gay, left-wing Obama supporter, so of course now they hate it (bighollywood.breitbart.com)	(88)
	30 racy photos and eight new sex tapes of Carrie Prejean surface. Grab some popcorn, folks, this is just getting better every day (examiner.com)	(125)
	Houston residents busted for bootlegging "2012" DVDs. Would you believe "Paranormal Activity"? Okay, how about DVDs of the "Get Smart" TV series? (chron.com)	(12)
	Alyssa Milano will guest star on "Castle", the only good thing Nathan Fillion's done since he was on "Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza Place" (ausiellofiles.ew.com)	(80)

Fri November 13, 2009

	Ray Bradbury developing six-hour sci-fi TV miniseries to air sometime in the distant early 21st century (slashfilm.com)	(26)
	Is Taylor Swift's success too much too soon? Is the praise going to get to her head? Will she be a one-album country singer? Does she have a nice rack? Will it stay that way? (people.com)	(72)
(Some Guy)	Amy Pohler tells girls at awards show that if boys say something that isn't funny, they don't have to laugh. If someone had told the world the same thing about Amy five years ago, she wouldn't have a career (glamour.com)	(41)
	Remeber Carrie Prejean's biggest mistake of her life? Turns out she made seven other biggest mistakes of her life (radaronline.com)	(198)
	Oprah: "Will [Levi Johnston] be invited to Thanksgiving dinner?" Sarah Palin: "You know, that's a great question" (with vid) (celebitchy.com)	(18)
	Michael Jackson wanted robot duplicate of himself, scientist claims to have body-template scans available for anyone willing to cough up $1 M: "It immortalised him at the age of 37, before his nose was disfigured" (theregister.co.uk)	(21)
	Gays: Put more gays on TV. Networks: Okay, done. Gays: Wait, your gays are too fabulous. It's promoting intolerance (newsweek.com)	(155)
(Some Guy)	"The Prisoner" remake's motion comic book prequel. You are, Number Eight (amctv.com)	(37)
(NineMSN)	"Leave Britney Alone" chick deserts Britney Spears because they never sent a thank you note or fruit basket or anything (news.ninemsn.com.au)	(57)
	Japan didn't invent X-Men the Animated Series, they just made it awesomer. By a factor of a zillion (iheartchaos.com)	(70)
	"Charlie's Angels" to be re-imagined as a new TV series. The three Angels will travel from the 12 Colonies in search of a mysterious voice on their communicators who claims to be on a planet called "Earth" (variety.com)	(28)
	Carrie Prejean: "I don't see anywhere in the Bible where it says you shouldn't get breast implants" (celebitchy.com)	(203)
	Levi Johnston, the Alaskan Sperminator, is getting too big for his britches: He asked an NYC nightclub for $3,000 to show up, then reduced it to $1,800, then finally ended up with a free round of sodas (gawker.com)	(42)
	The CW is developing a new series featuring a group of bright young students at Harvard Medical School, to be produced by Hayden Panettiere, who can't even spell "Harvard" (hollywoodreporter.com)	(34)
	Geena Davis, out of the spotlight since "Commander in Chief" was cancelled three years ago, resurfaces, then sprays gawking onlookers with her new blowhole (nydailynews.com)	(115)
	The most ridiculously amusing disaster movie moments ever put on film (io9.com)	(112)
	Harry's a pothead and the Sorcerer's stoned (mirror.co.uk)	(82)
	Kelsey Grammer's latest TV series canceled after five episodes. Cheers (starpulse.com)	(91)
	Twilight star Robert Pattinson: "I work as hard as a doctor" (starpulse.com)	(80)
	Brad Pitt takes wine-making classes, will inevitably be expelled for yelling "WHAT'S IN THE WINE BOX? WHAT'S IN THE WINE BOX? WHAT'S IN THE FARKING WINE BOX?" (contactmusic.com)	(49)