FARK.com: Politics links -- Archives for 2009-04-05

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Fark.com's Political Inclination Thermometric Analyzer:

Sun April 05, 2009

	Sean Hannity has never, ever seen porn. Well, straight porn anyway	(168)
(PoliGazette)	"To the dismay of religious conservatives who long to see their faith more fully expressed in public life, Christians are now making up a declining percentage of the American population."	(790)
	If FDR had decided to go after Japan first during WWII, we might all be speaking German	(295)

Sat April 04, 2009

	North Korea has officially registered its new edition of Photoshop	(439)
	Bill Maher: Obama wants to raise the tax from 36% to 39%, how is that socialism? Joe the Plumber: Uhh...MORALS... VALUES...FAIR TAX	(656)
	For some reason, no one wants advice from Rudy Guiliani	(34)
	Democrats and Republicans working together. Residents speaking their minds in public hearings, and legislators listening. Mass hysteria? No, just Connecticut	(39)
	States increasingly moving away from zero-tolerance drug laws because they've run out of prison cells to put people and can't afford to feed the people already in them	(75)
(Sensen No Sen)	Nine companies own 341 of the nation's newspapers. Maybe THAT'S the problem	(88)
	NYT columnist advocates public flogging of auto exec, deplores hyperbole. Obvious tag stands in for non-existent Hypocrite tag	(16)
(Some Guy)	Did Romney's religion cost him the presidency? Also: is the Pope as Catholic as he claims?	(84)
	Daily Show on Europe: "This was not the deal. The deal was, we give them Obama, they don't hate us anymore"	(61)
	Problem: Fox News says $3.6 trillion budget 4X bigger than Bush's costliest plan. Solution: X = .29	(126)
	If Obama wanted his nominees to be acceptable to Republicans, he should have chosen people who are wrong about more stuff	(42)
	Well, if you're going to overturn a conviction due to prosecutorial misconduct, how about one resulting from a bona fide political witch hunt?	(24)
	Visit the Queen: Check. Gift iPod filled with awesome songs: Check. Break international copyright laws in the process: Che..Wait, wut?	(91)
(Some Guy)	Republicans want a more restrained budget approach. Lets start small, like a couple of wars, an open raid on the treasury and a violent rape of the middle class. You know, restraint	(103)
	House votes to give FDA control over tobacco. Smoke 'em while you still can, Big Brother wants you to be healthy and subservient, citizen	(138)
	Obama tells bankers in closed-door meeting; "My administration is the only thing between you and the pitchforks" In other news, Obama finally hints at ties to Satan	(100)
(Maclean's)	Stupid: "Any scientist who declares that the theory of evolution is a fact has already abandoned the foundations of science". Bonus: Canadian MP. Fark: He's a chiropractor	(388)
	Barack Obama admits the USA isn't the most important country in the world, suggests radical ideas like listening to advice and not being dicks to everyone	(462)
	British paper reacts positively to Americans' positive reactions to Britons' positive reactions to America's positively non-reactionary new president	(19)

Fri April 03, 2009

	Queen Elizabeth "not amused" by Italian Prime Minister's loudness during a G20 visit to Buckingham Palace; frowns, goes back to listening to the Clash on her iPod	(83)
	Aqua Teen Boehner Force: That was not a hair question	(52)
	When discussing Obama last night, Lou Dobbs goes full retard: "He still didn't receive a majority of the votes in this country, just those cast"	(169)
	John Oliver explains why you never touch the Queen, and why the palace guards don't move	(65)
	Carlos Santana to Obama: "Legalize marijuana and take all that money and invest it in teachers and in education, You will see a transformation in America." Jeff Spicoli approves, orders a pepperoni pizza	(185)
	Newly vindicated Senator Stevens may run for governor against Palin, according to an internet someone showed me	(109)
	President Obama's $3.5 trillion budget of death, doom, and disaster that will rape and pillage your children and turn them all into socialists, passes the United States Congress	(685)
(Lohud.com)	It's enough to make a taxpayer flash his piece out on the lanes: NYC pays $12M for an abandoned bowling alley	(47)
	House votes to make cigarettes healthier using a bloated, inefficient relic of an organization that just this year removed a pain killer that's been on the market for over 50 years	(111)
	Photoshop the two women out of the Israeli cabinet. Wait, never mind. It's already been done	(283)
	Jon Stewart gets all choked up about Limbaugh leaving town	(151)
(thetimes.co.za)	S. African ngovernment mprepares to apologize for former mpresident's denials of HIV/AIDS, mpledges to tackle mproblem sanely from now on	(18)
	For winning the biggest douche award, Blogo says he's going to Disneywold	(44)
	Public worker who has filed nine discrimination complaints and settled at least one lawsuit with the MBTA has a job that guarantees no one will harass or bother him. This bothers him	(86)
	Even the European media has noticed that Barack Obama is not the World's Greatest Orator™ if he gets more than two feet away from his TelePrompter	(543)
	People calling Hillary Clinton got phone sex today	(70)

Thu April 02, 2009

	Blagojevich indicted on 16 additional federal felony charges, including racketeering, conspiracy, wire fraud, making false statements to investigators, and hair abuse	(44)
	Did Obama bow and kiss the ring to his new Saudi Overlord?	(436)
	U.S. spy agencies "still plagued by same intelligence failures" that allowed Saddam Hussein to attack America on 9/11	(103)
	Even the NY Times can't understand exactly what the G20 protestors are for, against, or want. Except it's pretty clear that they oppose killing gigantic canaries (pic)	(64)
(American Prospect)	Pete Orszag, White House Budget Director, goes on The Daily Show for the most informative interview done on TV in the last few years. Thank god we don't let crap like this interrupt our cable news	(112)
	Newt Gingrich says the GOP better get its act together or a third party will rise up in 2012 and destroy us all with the protests and the poorly-stenciled yard signs and the unhinged Internet nutbars	(410)
	Step 1: Queen asks for iPod. Step 2: Obama gives her iPod. Step 3: Hannity	(285)
	Congress to look into "Cash for Clunkers" program to incentivize people into trading in their gas guzzlers for more fuel-efficient cars	(205)
	Obama has narrowed down the choices for NASA administrator to a former Astronaut or a defeated party hack Congressman who taught science back in the 70's	(85)
	Attorney General Eric Holder: Unlike the last guy, I will actually listen to what my lawyers tell me. DoJ Lawyer: OK, remember that bill granting DC voting rights in Congress ? It's not constitutional. Holder: SHUT UP, YOU COCK	(148)
	Governor: I am forming a commission to expose the scandal of high paying patronage jobs in government. Newspaper: Great, you can start with these four friends of yours making a combined $500,000	(35)
	Evidence mounts that the NY Times gave Obama a great big pre-election hug by spiking a story linking him to ACORN corruption. With audio of incriminating voice mail	(312)
	If you are a Senator involved in the hedge fund regulatory debate, you probably shouldn't have a fundraiser hosted by a billionaire hedge fund manager. Especially at a club that doesn't allow minorities	(72)
	Obama's Drug Czar nominee promises a thoughtful, balanced approach to drug policy with an emphasis on treatment over incarceration. So he's pretty much screwed	(104)
	Don't hug the Queen don't hug the Queen don't hug the Queen don't hug AW CRAP	(389)
	Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner says he's ready to fire more CEOs as needed, whether they run car companies, banks, or snarky news aggregator blogs	(198)
	Congress crafts legislation that would violate state constitutions allowing state legislatures to accept Federal money when Governors refuse it	(138)
	Malaysian Prime Minister resigns. SHUT. DOWN. DEREK. ZOOLANDER	(69)
	You know how to make the iPod gift to the Queen even worse? That's right, putting your own photos and speeches on it	(410)
	Today's glaring liberal double standard: it's OK for Obama to fire the CEO of GM, but Bush can't fire his own US attorneys	(455)
	Rush Limbaugh is petrified that Obama may give Gordon Brown "Anal Poisoning"	(195)
	Merkel says Obama is 'well-equipped'. Bitte baby	(62)
	The Telegraph takes a time out from pressing issues to answer the burning question: Who's the hottest world leader at the G20?	(21)

Wed April 01, 2009

	Canadian government moves to abolish gun control, because if there's one thing that America has taught Canada, it's that 75,000 killings a year with guns makes people safer	(468)
	Pricipal . Caught sayof school that has stoped working Fridayes " See, told ya so" Is He dead or not. CNN Says yes. St. Pete Times Looking for chads -OR- "hello, I am write single to salute and wait for answer again"	(57)
	Obama gives another crappy gift	(347)
	Todd Palin: My wife totally didn't want a new wardrobe on the RNC dime. They forced her. No, really	(111)
	Rioting mob protest G20 deal announced by Gordon Brown & the head of General Motors. Somebody call The Decemberists	(131)
	Our new mature, intelligent President who everyone in the world loves, does not know the difference between England and the United Kingdom	(379)
	Republican "alternative" budget calls for... drumroll, please... tax cuts for the wealthy	(511)
	L.A. County paying student $10 an hour to peel labels off bottled water, print up labels with county seal and paste them on bottles. Your tax dollars at work	(25)
	In a shocking revelation, Joe the Plumber admits he doesn't know very much about an issue he is being paid to campaign against	(153)
	Secret Service prepared for anything in Britain - except fact that British roads aren't built for behemoth American presidential limos that are as big as Americans' asses	(122)
	Penn Jillete compares Obama's presidency to pulling donuts on a snow-covered parking lot. Then things get weird	(367)
	In every cloud there is a silver lining, in this case, from his home office in Fla, Rush Limbaugh announces that higher taxes mean NY will have one less conservative recovering drug addict to kick around	(328)
	Coleman, November 2008: Franken should concede for the good of the taxpayer. I would if I were in his shoes. Coleman, April 2009: After this election contest, I will appeal to the state supreme court and the federal courts if necessary	(106)
	Ex-Senator Stevens gets his conviction flushed down a series of tubes	(101)
	Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell spends $15 million of federal stimulus money to hire "clowns, magicians, and comedians (nothing blue)" to perform at malls in order to boost the state's mood	(144)
	Good: U.S. Border Patrol sets up surveillance towers to help secure the border. Bad:The Canadian border. Fark: In Detroit and Buffalo	(61)
	John McCain seeks presidential pardon for pioneering black man who beat the hell out of a bunch of white guys	(53)
	As NATO balks, Iran vows to work with the U.S. to combat the Taliban in Afghanistan. This Obama guy might know what the hell he's doing after all	(281)
(Albany Times Union)	Not this shiat again: NY-20 special election finishes in virtual dead heat, with matters complicated by confused old people demanding to vote for Al Franken or Pat Buchanan	(54)
	At first the GOP went all "Palin is coming to my party." Then Palin got all "I'll think about it." Then the GOP totally faced her with "Don't bother, the Newtster's coming instead"	(111)
	Another Obama nominee has to pay back taxes. This is just getting silly now	(163)

Tue March 31, 2009

	Sy Hersh says Dick Cheney left moles in the government to spy on Obama and potentiallys sabotage him	(416)
	Taliban threatens attack on United States that will "amaze" the world. If any Taliban are reading this, Texas is pretty amazing. Focus your efforts there	(208)
	Rule 34: If it exists, there is porn of it. Rule 35: If it exists, it can be taxed	(162)
	Russia's communist party says the country's government is running the economy into the ground, demands that it step down and let them run the economy into the ground instead	(74)
	John Kerry is shocked by the violence in Mexico, and demands the only logical solution: banning gun imports to the United States	(493)
	Feds release documents that implicate Blagojevich and his staff in secret attempts to buy Wrigley Field, wasting millions of taxpayer dollars	(54)
	"Moderate" Afghan Prez sends womens' rights back to the Dark Ages. Yay democracy	(306)
	The poetry of Glenn Beck	(123)
	The Associated Press keeps confusing criticism of President Obama with racial slurs	(320)
(dcexaminer.com)	Barney Frank (D-Idiot) introduces the "Pay for Performance Act of 2009", which would allow the government to set all salaries of all employees at any firms that accept government money	(489)
	Grumpy Uncle Jack Cafferty: "War on Drugs is Insane"	(278)
	"... within a month of his issuing his provocative or nihilistic view about an Obama-led recovery, the argument had become not whether he was hopelessly marginalized but whether he was the most significant figure" for the Republicans	(66)
	Hillary Clinton confirms that the administration will not use the phrase "war on terror." Instead, they'll call it "principle-centered long-term disagreement resolution"	(182)
	Would someone please remind Hugo Chavez about a former Central American dictator that talked really bad about the U.S. and sold drugs to make money?	(40)
	Romney 2012 Fever...CATCH IT (symptoms may include chronic paleness, multiple-wife syndrome, and stick/rectal melding)	(62)
	Most Americans don't blame Obama for the economic crisis. Instead, they blame Wall Street, George Bush, Rush Limbaugh, the underpants gnomes, the reverse vampires, Glenn Beck's psychotherapist, and Lindsay Lohan	(182)
	Contrary to the rules of Risk®, you could invade and conquer Australia with four guys, a Zodiac an twelve rounds of ammunition, if you felt like it	(34)
(Some Guy)	Bollywood actors charged for violating the code of conduct for openly campaigning for a candidate in the Indian Congress. We really need a law like that in our country	(48)
	Congressman John Shimkus argues global warming isn't real because God promised to never ever destroy the earth ever again. Sad, Dumbass and Scary tags unavailable for comment	(473)
	Alan Colmes pulls a Chris Crocker	(116)

Mon March 30, 2009

(ADN)	Difficulty: Gov. Palin has to pick a Democrat to fill a Senate seat. Solution: Pick a Legislative Aide who was a registered Republican until a few weeks ago, and switched for the position	(190)
	Obama's nominee for State Department's legal advisor believes in global law taking precedence over ours. Also sees nothing wrong with Islamic Sharia law	(313)
(Post-Gazette)	John Murtha (D-Abscam): "If I'm corrupt, it's because I take care of my district." Well that makes it OK then	(55)
	Cornyn: "If Al Franken is seated as a Senator, then we (Republicans) will start World War III." Hey, somebody's got to do it, right?	(342)
	Dictator Muammar Gaddafi storms out of Arab League meeting, vows to form independent league featuring Libya, St. Paul, Long Island, and Edmonton	(45)
	This article has been tagged as "Conservative Failure" and "Jonah Goldberg" by the Department of Redundancy Department	(128)
	Presidential approval rating (DJIA) drops significantly on news that the President can fire your company's CEO	(472)
	Worried about blogs taking over newspapers? History tends to repeat itself	(8)
	A "chaotic and unforgiving capitalism" is exactly what we need right now	(192)
	Bill O'Reilly boycotting Sean Penn films. Sean Penn responds by boycotting falafel	(96)
	U.S. atheists say election of Barack Obama finally puts their intolerant and shrill belief system on same footing as any other religion	(610)
	This is the grizzled anti-capitalist protestor who will speak for the world at the G20 summit this week (Not safe for work)	(91)
	Federal appeals court to rule on whether Canada has to let British Member of Parliament into the country	(60)
(Some Guy)	Every president gets $100,000 from tax payers to renovate the White House, but Obama has decided to pay for it with cash completely out of his pocket	(526)
	After tasing a stapler-holding Polish man to death, Canadian government issued warning to diplomats to fear retribution from Poles, who could have had pencils or even worse	(141)