| Lynwood, Illinois passes an ordinance that would levy $25 fines against anyone showing three inches or more of their underwear in public | (252) | ||
| That "clarification" about Iraqi Prime Minister Maliki's support for troop withdrawal came from Centcom, not the Iraqi government | (304) | ||
| Obama holds Gallup poll lead so McCain should just quit now | (123) | ||
| Congress to torpedo funding for the DDG 1000 destroyer program after only two ships | (65) | ||
| The November election isn't about Obama vs. McCain, or even Obama vs. Pancakes - it's about Obama vs. Obama (by Willie Brown) | (36) | ||
| Senator Lamar Alexander (Romero-TN) discovers key to lowering gas prices: "find more, use less." Yes sirree, these are the people we elected to run our country | (40) | ||
| A look at the technology upgrades being performed at the Pepsi Center for the Democratic convention. Network will have capacity to run phone and Internet service to the equivalent of 220,000 homes, 100,000 if Bill is downloading his porn | (27) | ||
| Caption what Obama is saying to the troops | (253) | ||
| Nice try, Obamaniacs, but Iraq's leader doesn't actually support withdrawal | (537) | ||
| Congress answers to high gas prices... a ten-cent gas tax increase | (364) | ||
| (Ynet) | Israel warns Obama against an Iraqi troop withdrawal, prefering more of a slow, sensual approach and a follow up cuddle | (96) | |
| South Carolina lawmaker sees no problem with parking his vehicle in the fire lane for his convenience, doesn't even attempt damage control when caught. "Every person in the country does it" | (28) |
| After sending out a memo giving state workers way to conserve fuel when travelling, Kentucky Gov. Steve Beshear uses three planes to fly to a town hall meeting in Pikeville, about 165 miles away from Frankfort | (41) | ||
| McCain campaign responds to Maliki's endorsement of Obama's plan. "We're Farked" | (251) | ||
| George Bush makes little girl cry at T-ball game. Hey, there's no crying in T-ball (w/video) | (26) | ||
| US Air Force installing Weighted Companion Cubes on aircraft shuttling top military leaders, despite Congress telling them not to -- twice | (205) | ||
| On the 15th anniversary of Don't Ask, Don't Tell, 75% of Americans think letting gays serve openly in the military is a fabulous idea | (70) | ||
| Remember that time Bush landed on a carrier and stood in front of a "Mission Accomplished" banner? Looking back on it, the whole incident was symbolic of how mean the left is toward our president | (128) | ||
| The Washington Post's ombudsman thinks there should be more substantive political coverage. But where would readers learn such devastatingly relevant info as Chandra Levy's favorite scrunchy color? | (14) | ||
| McCain: "I challenge Obama to visit Iraq." Obama: "All right then, I'm going." McCain: Obama's Iraq trip is "politically motivated." You stay classy, GOP | (96) | ||
| In a move Paterson will never see coming, Giuliani may run for governor of New York | (43) | ||
| Barack Obama's sloganeering has hit rock bottom: "Beliefs we can believe in." How about "Hot air we can breathe in" (pic) | (183) | ||
| Iraqi PM backs Obama exit plan. Republicans demand he visit Iraq | (113) | ||
| (Some xkcd Guy) | Running for office. xkcd style | (211) | |
| Something new for the media to go into hysterics about: ABC sees subliminal messages in McCain ad | (118) | ||
| U.S. negotiating with Iraq over timetable -- correction: "time horizon" -- for our depature | (72) | ||
| (Some Speaker of the House) | Bush administration attempts to redefine the term "abortion" so that it includes oral contraception. They're apparently unclear on how putting it in her mouth prevents babies from happening | (123) | |
| Columnist writes about how Americans don't know what irony is, manages to define irony incorrectly. Fark Irony Police, time to do your thing | (231) |
| Gramm quits McPancakes campaign. What a whiner | (432) | ||
| Today is the 39th anniversary of the Chappaquiddick incident. Nothing to see here, move along | (135) | ||
| How to make fun of Barack Obama, by Joel Stein, a columnist who wouldn't know humor if it was giving him a Dutch rudder | (62) | ||
| If you're going to put an "independent" government reform proposal on the ballot, don't post online the Powerpoint admitting it's to secure Democratic control of the state | (46) | ||
| O'Reilly says the pill should not be covered by insurance, but Viagra should because it treats a 'medical condition.' Specifically, the medical need to rub middle eastern foods on your employees while they shower | (135) | ||
| Republicans win eighth straight Congressional Baseball game, secure home-field advantage in fall elections | (32) | ||
| How well do you know the news? (Pew Research Center Quiz) | (199) | ||
| McCain spokesman Col. Bud Day says that under President McCain, we'll never "kneel" to "the Muslims." Sure, he just smeared an entire religion, but he's a war hero, so we'll let it slide | (168) | ||
| McCain speaks to real blue collar GM line workers, by going to GM's Technology Center where you have to have at least a doctorate to walk in the door | (50) | ||
| Police use undercover agents to successfully infiltrate and spy on domestic networks. Of anti-death penalty protestors | (137) | ||
| Barack Obama refuses to release the names, addresses, and phone numbers of all of his former law clients even though major conservative blogs are demanding this sensitive information be given to them | (229) | ||
| Even after fourteen months of primaries and early campaigning, nearly half of all independent voters still can't decide between Changey McChange and Jowly McGrump | (122) | ||
| NRO on McCain's strengths: "His name sounds like John McClain, the action hero played by Bruce Willis in the manly Die Hard series. Barack Obama sounds like the kind of elitist villain John McClain has to outwit and defeat." | (122) | ||
| (Gay Patriot) | John McCain regularly meets with gay Republicans, but never puts those meetings on his official schedule. Not that there's anything wrong with that | (69) | |
| The Military has spent $16 million of anti-terror funds designing Comfort Capsules, areas on planes with leather seats for Generals. After Congress told them twice they will never be allowed to actually put them in any planes | (131) | ||
| McCain's backers less fired up than Obama's, but in their defense, it's hard to schedule a campaign around "Matlock" and pancake breakfasts | (9) | ||
| Obama travels to foreign lands and is followed by an entourage of fawning network news anchors. McCain takes three similar trips, not a single anchor. Media bias FTW | (629) | ||
| (Some Guy) | Los Angeles mayor strongly disagrees with reports that over 25 percent of LA's students drop out. He wants recognition that it's closer to half | (74) | |
| McCain: "my opponent has only attended ONE hearing on Afghanistan." Reporters: "Hey McCain, it turns out you haven't been to ANY hearings on the matter in two years." D'OH | (67) | ||
| Owner of the "Laugh Factory" wants Jesse Jackson to pay a fine for using the N-word | (319) | ||
| San Francisco ballot measure to name sewage plant after President Bush certified for November ballot | (446) | ||
| (Some Guy) | Politician with a 9% approval rating calls politician with a 32% approval rating a "total failure" | (193) | |
| Savage: 'In 99 percent of the cases' of autism, 'it's a brat who hasn't been told to cut the act out.' | (267) | ||
| A cast of 300 advises Barack Obama. Ready your pancakes and eat hearty... For tonight, we dine in HELL | (32) |
| Arizona state appeals court rules that illegal aliens can be prosecuted under human-smuggling law for smuggling themselves | (220) | ||
| Obama's video guru speaks: How we stole the YouTube primary | (37) | ||
| (Some Guy) | Libertarian presidential candidate Bob Barr holds blogger conference call. Three bloggers show up. Triples exposure | (212) | |
| (The New Editor) | DNC Chair Howard Dean was regaled today with cheers of "four more years" before a speech to a gathering of "Netroots Nation" attendees outside the Austin Convention Center | (40) | |
| Bill Clinton discovers to no one's surprise that he's just as happy to be an attention whore for Obama as he was for Hillary | (32) | ||
| Either the New York Times has fired all its fact-checkers, or Obama's grandfather fought in the Russian Army in WWII. Take your pick | (65) | ||
| Oklahoma County commissioner writes and illustrates homophobic comic book for reelection campaign. Bonus: Two spellings of "pedophile," and they're both wrong | (75) | ||
| (Some Guy) | "I don't remember a time in our country when so many things seemed to be going so wrong simultaneously," Gore said, having never heard of the Great Depression, the Revolutionary War, the Civil War or the World Wars | (595) | |
| I'll see your offensive cartoon of McCain no one cared about and raise you another offensive cartoon of McCain no one will care about, this one featuring racially stereotyped caricatures to boot | (201) | ||
| (One News Now) | Poll shows liberal, secular media now liberaler, secularer than ever | (74) | |
| Liberal star on the rise: Rachel Maddow is next in line for her own show on MSNBC as Chris Matthews' contract is set to expire | (90) | ||
| At no point did John McCain ever -- EVER -- call for Donald Rumsfeld's resignation. But the ladies of MSNBC don't seem particularly interested in pointing that out | (38) | ||
| Dick Heller, of D.C. v. Heller, isn't being allowed to register his seven-shot semi-automatic pistol because it's a "machine gun" | (275) | ||
| Sen. Carl Levin wants to shut down some giant Swiss bank; makes no attempt to do anything about Mentos commercials | (118) | ||
| Forget all the nativist naysayers -- on a global level, we're actually in the middle of an explosive boom in the size of the middle class | (168) | ||
| (Some eBay wonk) | The 10 most bizarre bits of political memorabilia that you can buy right now | (53) | |
| Homeless will be offered free movie passes, tickets to the Denver Zoo, museums and other cultural facilities in order to hide them during the Democratic National Convention | (34) | ||
| Obama spends 188 minutes in one day working out. McCain spends 24 minutes trying to take a leak | (42) | ||
| Obama leaves out things he wishes he hadn't said from the official transcript of his speeches | (95) | ||
| Media already drooling over "doomsday scenario" in November if McCain and Obama achieve an electoral college tie | (69) | ||
| Simultaneously endorsing Reagan's "insult the government while doing normal government stuff" and Bush's "insult the government while using it to destroy the country" is making McCain sound even stupider than usual | (137) | ||
| (Some Guy) | An explanation of how Curious George, J. Fred Muggs, Coco and Bobo could do a better job running the economy than our politicians | (13) | |
| Barack Obama raised $52 million in June, bringing in almost as much as Miley Cyrus | (84) | ||
| Wondering why John Ashcroft has decided to testify in Congressional hearings? The White House rejected all of his candidates for a top DOJ post, in order to give it to the one lawyer on Earth who would tell them torture is legal | (115) | ||
| (Some Blogger) | Dallas commissioner adds "blogs" to his list of stuff he doesn't understand. Bonus: He's on the I.T. committee | (44) | |
| Obama says media are attacking Michelle in ways they are not attacking Cindy McCain, which is odd because Cindy is a pampered millionaire drug-addicted thieving bimbo | (231) | ||
| Network news executives don't even dispute the charge that they give Barack Obama more coverage, kind of like the way ESPN doesn't dispute the charge that they give the Red Sox more coverage than the Toledo Mud Hens | (68) | ||
| (Ironton Tribune) | Ohio newspaper runs editorial calling Obama the second coming of Hitler | (238) | |
| Mitt Romney will eat $45 million in personal loans for his failed presidential bid. Where's your business experience now? | (44) | ||
| "If the U.S. election were a novel, the climax came in chapter three -- now it has literally lost the plot" | (60) |
| Jesse Jackson uses the n-word to refer to black people during a commercial break. No, this is not a repeat from last week | (133) | ||
| Comcast cancels MSNBC, keeps FOX | (189) | ||
| Architect of the mortgage crisis, backer of soft core porn, McCain's economic advisor.... Is there nothing Phil Gramm can't do? | (33) | ||
| Elizabeth Dole attempts to name the new AIDS bill after Jesse Helms | (66) | ||
| City of Denver hopes to educate homeless by making them watch Batman | (29) | ||
| If Saudi Arabia and Iran tallied up their oil reserves, they could call Century 21 and make an offer on oceanfront property on both US coasts . . . everything in between | (243) | ||
| Barack Obama, who doesn't even want to fight the current war, warns against fighting "the last war." Maybe we should just invent blasters and fight the future war | (53) | ||
| Obama pledges to rid the world of nuclear weapons, climb gumdrop mountain, and wait for Hellboy 2 to come out on DVD | (63) | ||
| Look, buddy, it's simple. If you don't want to be on the secret TSA terrorism watchlist, then don't file a CNN news report critical of the secret TSA terrorism watchlist | (121) | ||
| NATO forces hit target inside Pakistan after failing to receive memo that Obama is not in charge yet | (98) | ||
| In a move that surprises absolutely no one, Bush claims executive privilege on Plame leak to prevent the attorney general from testifying. Congress shakes its tiny, ineffectual fists | (219) | ||
| Washington, D.C. will start registering handguns. Of course, they will "take temporary possession of the gun to ensure safety." Gooooood luck with that | (351) | ||
| McCain campaign, which apparently thinks "Pot, kettle, black" is a race joke, creates tool for Obama's webpage that tracks precise word changes on an hourly basis | (127) | ||
| (Some Guy) | A half-Kenyan Harvard graduate in his forties shares his thoughts on American politics and the race for president. No, not Barack Obama -- Tom Morello | (139) | |
| The "expert" who said the invasion of Iraq was justified because we need to tell Muslims to "Suck. On. This." can't seem to figure out why the rest of the world doesn't like America | (239) | ||
| Poll finds Obama crushing McCain 71-19 among minority voting block. No, not that minority, the one that's made up of "swing voters" | (89) | ||
| Israel completes prisoner exchange with Lebanon, gets two dead soldiers in return for five living militants. Surely this will help bring about peace, and not cause further bitterness or strife | (485) | ||
| White House sends highest ranking envoy to meet Iranians in the last 30 years. Good thing the Bush never considers talking to the Axis of Evil | (196) | ||
| Approval rating for Congress fell five points last month to 14 percent, the lowest ever. Which means Americans trust Nigerian email scammers more than they do Congress | (64) | ||
| Obama: The single most important factor in your child's life isn't you, it's your child's government school teacher | (374) | ||
| Why the race is tied: "Obama's breathtaking flips and flops are materially different from McCain's. Obama's shifts have nothing to do with altered circumstances, just a change in the political calendar" | (140) | ||
| Today, John McCain flip flopped on Afghanistan. Why didn't you hear about it? Because he didn't say the secret liberal media meltdown codeword - "refine" | (122) | ||
| Before Phil Gramm started in politics, he wanted to be a playa in porn | (24) | ||
| Bush suggests citizens turn off their air conditioners to save on energy costs. Good thing he didn't suggest something radical, like wearing sweaters in winter | (92) | ||
| Home foreclosure and high energy prices got you down? Don't worry, Congress wants to send you more economic stimulus checks | (74) | ||
| Barack Obama sits down to an interview with Fareed Zakaria. Amazingly enough, two smart people talking about substantive issues actually produces a cogent and interesting dialogue | (83) | ||
| John McCain says women love "ape rape." Stay classy, John | (153) | ||
| McCain: 1+1=1 ? | (74) | ||
| U.S. jets have bombed at least five wedding ceremonies in Afghanistan. So that's at least five men who will greet us as liberators | (57) | ||
| McCain says his VP search is tough because there are just so many awesome Republicans to choose from | (50) |
| Congress tells Bush to take his veto crayon and shove it | (115) | ||
| Massachusetts Senate votes to get a giant piece of that fabulous out-of-state gay wedding pie. Suck it, Californians. Or suck it more. Whatever | (59) | ||
| Barack Obama: I would send US troops into Pakistan | (262) | ||
| Dick Cheney may end up being the best thing that ever happened to Hillary Clinton | (30) | ||
| If you wondered how long it would take someone to blame the New Yorker cover satirizing Obama on Bush, the answer is two days | (44) | ||
| Bush's executive order lifting oil drilling restrictions won't have any effect on oil prices. Except for that immediate $9-per-barrel drop | (128) | ||
| Jesse Ventura ain't got time to run for Senate, bleed | (26) | ||
| Anticipating peaceful protestors at the Democratic National Convention, Denver police want to outlaw possession of chains, pipes and tools to make urine and feces bombs. Still legal to protest with: Kaffeyahs and giant puppets | (22) | ||
| John McCain has something to whine about as Barack Obama's Gramm bounce comes through - Obama leads McCain 50-41 | (92) | ||
| "In Arizona the only way to get around the state is by small private plane" | (103) | ||
| Bush urges lawmakers to move quickly to help out mortgage giants from going under, while declaring the nation's financial system to be "basically sound" | (99) | ||
| Hillary Clinton is already planning her 2012 presidential campaign | (73) | ||
| Officials deny incursion of Thai fighters into rebel territory, say they were merely on a diplomatic mission | (125) | ||
| For everyone who got upset over the New Yorker cover, here is the John McCain version | (128) | ||
| This week's target of Michelle Malkin's manufactured outrage is YouTube for "disrespecting" Tony Snow | (81) | ||
| (Some Guy) | Electrician who has worked at Hanford Nuclear Reservation and Palmer Station in Antarctica comes back from Iraq shaking head at shoddy workmanship in Baghdad's green zone | (61) | |
| (The New Editor) | Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid mans up, says Congress' all-time low approval ratings are Bush's fault. Seriously | (106) | |
| Senator Chuck Schumer (D-NY) is to blame for the second biggest bank failure in U.S. history | (306) | ||
| Iraq and Afghanistan -- who says we can't do both? | (69) | ||
| Comedians finding it hard to satirize Barack Obama because he is practically perfect in every way: "The thing is, he's not buffoonish" | (190) | ||
| Alleviating any doubt that they have any credibility left, the Wall Street Journal asks whether Obama is the next Ronald Regan | (99) | ||
| (Heritage) | EPA gets set to regulate the speed limit... of your lawnmower | (49) | |
| Sometimes, it seems, there are words made specifically to describe one person. Obama's word: "tergiversation" | (50) | ||
| Mika: offshore drilling wouldn't lower gas prices for ten years | (300) | ||
| Congressional Democrats annoyed at the Obama campaign because they are self-centered and don't want to help a brother out | (49) | ||
| (Investor's Business Daily) | Watching politicians in Washington react to the gas crisis is like watching the Three Stooges teach calculus in a cream pie factory | (23) | |
| Obama 2007: The surge won't bring down violence. Obama 2008: Everyone knew the surge would bring down violence | (212) | ||
| (Some Guy) | Atlanta Mayor threatens to show hecklers and protestors her "Philadelphia" side. I don't think that word means what you think it means | (56) | |
| Country that had no government, then a government, then a different government, now has no government. Stupid Flanders | (33) | ||
| McCain campaign joins Dick Cheney, George Will, Mike Huckabee, Mitch McConnell Bobby Jindal and Bill O'Reilly by making the claim that the 120+ oil spills caused by Katrina and Rita didn't exist | (75) | ||
| Pat Tillman's family gets the "I do not recall" treatment regarding his death by friendly fire. Col. Ollie North approves | (74) | ||
| George "I quit playing golf for the troops" Bush plays golf as a fundraiser for McCain | (67) | ||
| Poll finds Republican war hero John McCain would be a better commander-in-chief than Obama among Americans, who have grown comfortable with having a Republican war hero in the White House | (107) | ||
| Blast from the past: May, 2001--Bush gives $43 million to the Taliban | (143) |
| If McCain agreeing with George Bush = McSame... does Obama agreeing with McCain = Osame? | (65) | ||
| Obama lays out clear plan for Iraq withdrawal in NY Times op-ed | (148) | ||
| "The inconvenient truth is that, in Hollywood, absolute conformity to the Democratic Party is a well-constructed facade" | (119) | ||
| "The consensus of experts ... is that an increase in gun ownership doesn't raise the number of people who kill themselves-only the number who do it with a gun" | (60) | ||
| McLaughlin takes heat for referring to Obama as an Oreo when we all know the politically correct term is Hydrox | (125) | ||
| Iran says Shahab-3 missiles have a range greater than the reported 2,000 km, and will be happy to prove it once they get their Photoshop upgrade | (50) | ||
| When you accept bribes for $200,000 you don't release logs of the meetings due to "lawsuits and things" says Bush administration | (24) | ||
| John McCain expresses concern over Czechoslovakia, despite the fact it hasn't existed for two decades. Pancakes | (147) | ||
| Folks who are upset at Obama's telecom vote are urging people to vote for Ralph Nader instead. In related news, if you start saying "President McCain" to yourself now, it'll come naturally by November | (161) | ||
| Louisiana governor Bobby Jindal uses his line-item veto to reject more than 0.05% of the state's proposed operating budget for 2009. Thank FSM for fiscally conservative Republicans | (32) | ||
| (Some Guy) | Australian Muslims open their doors to house Roman Catholic pilgrims for World Youth Day, proving that Muslims are pretty calm and rational when the US is not bombing the crap out of them | (786) | |
| McCain campaign: "We would never question Sen. Obama's patriotism. We just think that he wants to see his country lose a war so he can benefit politically" | (200) | ||
| Sudanese President charged with genocide. It's about bloody time | (149) | ||
| Obama's flip-flopping has one advantage: Republicans can't figure out where to start attacking him | (105) | ||
| Denver business owner filled out the paperwork just the way the Democrats wanted it for their convention, but coughBRIBEcough there seems to be something coughKICKBACKcough missing from her application | (113) | ||
| Government oddity of the day: politician proposes oil policy that is not only extremely unpopular, it might actually work | (119) | ||
| Obama: U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement Agency = Terrorists | (143) | ||
| Bush makes meaningless gesture on oil prices by lifting the meaningless executive order banning offshore drilling signed by his father | (349) | ||
| Crowds erupts during Obama speech- -but it's over mention of Clinton | (41) | ||
| Massachusetts governor balances budget by wishing into existence hundreds of millions of dollars in federal money to pay for state's health care plan | (45) | ||
| (RTT News) | President Bush gives the Israelis some new kind of beer to attack Iran with | (100) | |
| Congratulations. You were just the millionth name added to the terrorist watch list. Click here to claim your free prize | (50) | ||
| "Generation Facebook" may bring tolerance of politicians' pasts. If not, the 2032 election ought to be a real good time | (41) | ||
| How McCain got the Surge wrong. Or: The power of appeasement | (86) | ||
| (Some Guy) | Tired of their government's ineffectiveness, tribal forces in Pakistan take it upon themselves to fight the Taliban | (29) | |
| How Sen. Chuck Schumer brought down a hopelessly under-capitalized financial institution by writing a letter questioning whether said financial institution was hopelessly under-capitalized | (152) | ||
| (Donklephant.com) | Ralph Nader plans to debate a dummy. That's right, a big, stuffed doll. This is not a joke | (64) | |
| Rage Against The Machine call for a "war crime" trial for George W. Bush, branding him a "war criminal" over the conflict in Iraq. In related news, they still can't clearly explain why they wear Che Guevara t-shirts | (355) | ||
| Ahnold offers to be Obama's energy czar | (66) | ||
| How to lower oil prices? Send Congressional Democrats back to economics class | (160) |