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Sun April 27, 2008
London Times Interesting "It’s a myth that the world’s oil is running out. Production of oil is being constrained by several forces, none of them due to God’s failure to put enough of the black gold under our feet." (7)
(Some Guy) Interesting New book tells about a US President who screws around with lots of women while his wife thinks she's president. Is it about the Clintons? Nope, try FDR (34)
DallasNews Obvious Ron Paul wants to defy federal finance rules and take all $4 million dollars left over from his failed presidential campaign to start a for-profit libertarian publishing company (105)
(Some Guy) Obvious Looks like Dems should have listened to Carville. Back in 2006 (75)
(Some Guy) Spiffy It's not too late for Al Gore to get the democratic nomination (71)
Daily Mail Amusing Top Johnson supporter admits to secret life as sex addict. Johnson goes where? Everywhere (23)
Reuters Obvious It shouldn't take a Nobel laureate economist to blame Bush and Greenspan for the current financial crisis, but here's one anyway (90)
ArabNews Obvious Last Sadr bastion in Basra falls, which proves the surge is working (46)
Talking Points Memo Obvious McCain skirts campaign finance laws while flying around the country in his billionare wife's jet calling Barack Obama an elitist (85)
CNN Followup By paying a $1.3 million ransom to release Spanish fishing boat and its 26-member crew, the Spanish government has taught the Somalians an important lesson: crime pays (78)
(Some Guy) Asinine Health insurance too secular for you? Try Biblical HealthCare Solutions, for less than $570 a month (52)
CNN Scary Benazir Bhutto-style assassination underway in Afghanistan (20)
MSNBC Scary Justice department to Congress: The CIA is above the law (452)
Daily Mail Amusing Argentinian education minister forced to resign after hundreds of schools receive encyclopaedia admitting that the Falkland Islands are British (37)
Salon Interesting "It's clear that McCain's foreign policy approach seems even more childishly bellicose than the current occupant of the Oval Office." (51)
(PhillyBurbs) Asinine Property values down? Don't worry, towns are now being ordered to raise taxes (56)

Sat April 26, 2008
The Scotsman Obvious Teenage daughter of Hamas leader killed in IDF raid. This should end well (233)
MSNBC Interesting Hillary Clinton challenges Barack Obama to a 90-minute moderator-free debate, Lincoln-Douglas style, before May 6th (368)
Newsweek Obvious What would happen to Democrats who supported Obama if Clinton were to win? Payback (108)
Slate Silly "Hillary Clinton has made it clear that she plans to stay in the race for the nomination, which brings me to this logical conclusion: It is time for Barack Obama to drop out" (71)
(Newsweek) Stupid When an American Idol contestant is booted after singing "Jesus Christ Superstar," there's only one logical conclusion: Southern racists control America (92)
(Right Wing News) Ironic The top 10 reasons the Democratic superdelegates should select Hillary over Barack (145)
(Daily Kos) Amusing I will not let you break this entire nominating process for one state. The rules are the rules." - then DNC chairman Terry McAuliffe on Michigan wanting to move up their primary, 2004 (44)
Chicago Sun-Times Silly Obama wants to prevent crime in Chicago by making it more illegaler (117)
(Some Military Retiree) Asinine Having solved all other military-related problems, Congressional Republicans concentrate on passing the "Military Honor and Decency Act." Repubs to soldiers: Playboy - Not Yours. Soldiers to Repubs: Suck it long, suck it hard (102)
AP Spiffy Obama wins by 10 points in Indiana (208)
AFP Dumbass Obama's answer to rising gas prices is to raise taxes on oil companies, because they would never do anything like pass a tax increase on to their customers (178)
SFGate Dumbass On this very special episode of Dumbass the Movie, Cindy Sheehan files to take on Pelosi and move to Washington DC. (Bonus: already endorsed by Ted McGinley) (244)
CNN Interesting In the newest attempt to send Clinton's campaign the way of Ol' Yeller, a major fundraiser has jumped ship (48)
(Think Progress) Amusing President Bush's appearance on this past Monday's edition of "Deal or No Deal" coincided with the show's lowest ever rating for a Monday (54)

Fri April 25, 2008
(Some Guy) Asinine CNN scores the interview everyone's been waiting for: The Abercrombie guys from Obama's rally (71)
(Daily Kos) Obvious Obama's campaign holds conference call with reporters about their new voter registration drive. When asked for questions, the reporters don't ask about voter registration but about the stupid crap they always talk about (80)
(Some Gator) Amusing Georgia state senator: "A Gator tag will cause accidents. It will lower our quality of life. In fact, my children used to have nightmares because we lived dangerously close to the state of Florida." (81)
MSNBC Dumbass The glorious new Embassy of Freedom in Baghdad, which makes a Supermax prison look like a playground for handicapped kids, which cost $700 million, does not have enough beds for the diplomats. The Aristocrats (38)
The Raw Story Amusing To celebrate the day the Jack Abramoff scandal broke, Democrats sent a Jack impersonator to the office of Rep. Tom Feeney (R-otten) (17)
Fox News Asinine Massachusetts police get black uniforms to instill "sense of fear." The moon still rulez. Chowdah (74)
LA Times Asinine McCain asks NC GOP to stop QUESTIONING OBAMA'S PATRIOTISM and quit showing OBAMA'S CRAZY PREACHER. Cut it out guys. Nudge nudge (102)
MSNBC Obvious Who has missed more votes in the Senate? A) The two candidates still fighting for their party's nomination, B) The guy who had a brain hemorrhage, C) John McCain (33)
Houston Chronicle Hero U.S. President George Washington: "I can not tell a lie. I did it." U.S. Representative Craig Washington: "God made me shoot at him." (22)
(Some Guy) Obvious Using math right out of Clinton's campaign, CNN expertly demonstrates that Hillary DID get a double digit win in Pennsylvania (74)
CNN Dumbass John McCain says for the second time in two days that "it's very clear who Hamas wants in the White House." Obama campaign responds, "Thanks for that 'respectful campaign' you promised, jackass" (92)
(Durant Democrat) Dumbass Bush Administration finds way to cut cost of war in Iraq: they've quit feeding some soldiers lunch (365)
Charlotte Interesting "Since the Civil War only four Democrats—Jimmy Carter, Lyndon Johnson, Franklin Roosevelt and Samuel Tilden—have won a majority of the popular vote" (64)
(New West) Dumbass With his career perpetually stalled, Sen. Larry Craig's legal expenses have forced him to repeatedly tap his own campaign fund, but Congress now takes a wide stance on preventing further withdrawals. Penis (26)
National Review Scary Democrats lost the past two presidential elections by nominating candidates who had trouble connecting with down-scale white voters. They are about to do the same, but with their eyes wide open (237)
ABC News Dumbass Rev. Wright elbows his way back into the headlines just in time to hurt Obama's chances in Indiana and North Carolina (235)
Reuters Interesting Rep Clyburn (D-Obvious) says that Clinton is staying in the race to have a chance for 2012, not 2008 (84)
Wall Street Journal Obvious "The Bush administration has insisted on the right of a sovereign nation to determine for itself what international law means. This is at bottom the sin for which its legal advisers will never be forgiven." (110)
(dkos) Obvious Nobel prize winning economists say Obama better for the nation than Clinton, McCain. Typical elitists (86)
Sign On San Diego Amusing When a picture is worth exactly three words: mayor confirms that he didn't shake his challenger's hand. And his exact words to him were, "F--- you, Steve" (38)
(Some Guy) Amusing Black Americans just now coming to the shocked realization that Bill Clinton never really cared about them and was just using them to get votes (122)
Guardian.com Obvious Israeli PM says things would be much simpler if the Palestinians would just lay down their arms and let themselves be peacefully bulldozed into the sea (288)
CBC Obvious Canada's Supreme Court rules that a police dog sniffing a student's backpack is an awful lot like a police officer searching the same backpack (29)
Boston Globe Interesting Obama's sure thing in Indiana looking tenuous now as he holds only a one point lead over Hillary "Not In The Cart Yet" Clinton (275)
Seattle Times Amusing Seattle city council is upset that the mayor is actually doing something instead of sitting on his ass (24)
IOL Stupid Iraqi Parliament considering a ban on toy guns "to help create a new generation who believe in the new concepts of Iraq and who reject violence in all its forms." Problem solved (53)
(Some Guy) Obvious Future water wars between U.S. and Canada are inevitable, and we're not talking SuperSoakers, folks (415)
Reuters Sad Taiwan about to lose its nose picking, reporter shoving, narcoleptic education minister (8)
AP Interesting Bush says he will veto bill mandating that the Coast Guard provide security around eight liquefied natural gas terminals and any arriving tankers (90)
Telegraph Obvious Having identified the man responsible for Benazir Bhutto's death, the Pakistani government has arrested him. Just kidding -- they signed a security deal with him (27)
ABC News Dumbass McCain slams the federal response to Katrina. Way to strike while the iron is hot, dude (70)

Thu April 24, 2008
(Huffington Post) Stupid McCain may name ex-Hewlett Packard CEO Carly Fiorina as running mate, proving that the VP office itself is very cheap but potential candidates to fill it cost a fortune (99)
Bloomberg Obvious Obama gets both encouragement and a warning from Wilder. "You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons." (102)
Detroit News Asinine Remember how Florida and Michigan delegates were agreed to be split evenly between Clinton and Obama at the convention? Now, not so much (155)
Fox News Interesting Obama agrees to finally go on Fox News Sunday, which begs the question: Why is Fox News interviewing someone with such well-known terrorist sympathies? (244)
Yahoo Unlikely Justice Scalia on Bush v. Gore decision: "Get over it" (490)
(The New Republic) Obvious Despite what he's telling you, Barack Obama won't get the U.S. out of Iraq any more than Richard Nixon's "secret plan" got us out of Vietnam (66)
(Some Guy) Obvious Ohio state representative resigns over porn on his data stick (46)
Boston Globe Interesting Not News: Well educated, wealthy, young woman considering voting for Obama. Fark: Jenna Bush (53)
(Some Politico) Cool Having honed his debate skills in fark political flamewars, TFer POAC is running for state representative (459)
(Some Guy) Obvious Al-Qaida is getting pissed off at 9/11 deniers (134)
National Review Interesting The NRO isn't trying to fearmonger or anything, but just understand that if you don't vote Republican in '08, terrorists will turn the U.S. into a hellish nuclear fireball, instantly wiping out everyone and everything you care about (52)
LA Times Unlikely Bush confident there will be a Palestinian state by the end of his term, and it wil be guarded by gnomes and wizards and bears with lasers (272)
Wall Street Journal Interesting Forget Pennsylvania, Obama is the nominee: "I believe the cement set around the Clinton coffin last Friday" (55)
Telegraph Sad Los Angeles is a third world city (354)
Denver Channel Dumbass Comedian Rush Limbaugh calling for riots in Denver during the DNC convention (154)
CNN Cool Bill Richardson fires back at James Carville: "Clinton supporters like him are like a dynasty clinging to the throne" (38)
(NYT) Silly Is Obama a Mac and Clinton a PC? That's the New York Times for you. Always willing to ask the hard questions (62)
CNSNews Dumbass House Speaker Nancy Pelosi honors Earth Day with a biblical quote. She didn't use the King James version of the Bible, but the Making It Up version instead (229)
(Some Guy) Interesting The generational contest going on in the Democratic primary simplified (107)
(Pew Research) Obvious Only 11 percent of Americans rate the economy as excellent or good, a six percent drop from January. But it's still obviously the fault of the media (129)
(Some Blog) Followup Shocked, absolutely SHOCKED to find out that Hillary didn't raise $10 million in the last 24 hours (284)
Yahoo Ironic Antonin Scalia -- the "originalist" conservative Supreme Court justice who shuns all media -- will be on "60 Minutes" this Sunday to hawk his new book (108)
Bloomberg Cool Brazil's discoveries of what may be two of the world's three biggest oil finds in the past 30 years could help end the Western Hemisphere's reliance on Middle East crude (203)
CBC Stupid The Chinese government has nothing better to do than worry about which dance troupes are performing in Canada (42)
MSNBC Interesting Barack Obama may win the Democratic nomination because he can talk sports and Hillary has cooties (38)
(The Hill) Dumbass You remember the promise that Nancy Pelosi gave two years ago to lower the price of gasoline? (204)
(Some Guy) Obvious Awwww Clinton and Obama are tired (41)
(NY Times) Asinine Food prices are up, farmers are making a good living and the biofuels mandate is creating grain shortages. So Congress does the obvious thing: Authorizes $5.2 billion in cash to farmers and does squat about biofuels (97)
(Some Guy) Scary The Teflon Dem: Obama continues to sling stereotypes, and his ratings continue to soar (63)
National Review Unlikely Hillary was running the "vast, right-wing conspiracy" all along. What a twist (47)
(Some Guy) Caption What is Bill Clinton thinking? (200)
Gawker Followup Spitzer liked to use... props (197)
Boston Herald Dumbass Democrats are angry at Howard Dean for making the primary process too inclusive. "It's so fair, it's unfair" (66)
Telegraph Obvious Tony Blair's portrait has been added to the Parliamentary art collection. Oddly, he is not pictured sitting on Bush's lap (21)
(Real Clear Politics) Interesting Old and busted: Obama's insurmountable financial edge. The new hotness: Clinton raking in $10 million in 24 hours (244)
(Some Guy) Florida Jeb Bush says humans do not cause global warming, also advocates killing of alligators because they eat small dogs. "Is this open to the press?" (66)
AP Obvious If you're a corrupt politician, and I'm Patrick Fitzgerald, my straw goes acroooooooooss the room, and drinks your milkshake. I, drink, your, MILKSHAKE I drink it up (54)
AP Sad More than half of 1,600 EPA scientists surveyed were pressured by politics. Progress sulks and walks away with head down (53)
(nwitimes.com) Dumbass Candidate rule No. 1: Speak at whatever function you are invited to. Rule No. 2: Ignore swastikas and Hitler's portrait behind the dais. Rule No. 3: FAIL (255)
CNN Stupid The newest manufactured controversy: Who were the guys in Abercrombie shirts standing behind Obama last night? (113)

Wed April 23, 2008
National Review Obvious "More and more, McCain will want to run against Obama and his far weaker coalition of elite whites, African-Americans, students—and closets of skeletons. More and more, we will start to see the buyer's remorse of 1972." (214)
Yahoo PSA Let's make this perfectly clear. Don't fark with Canada's ability to import strippers (82)
Slate Interesting In light of Obama's continuing failure to connect with low-income whites, Slate wonders: Just how much of the general election vote would Obama lose by virtue of his race alone? (249)
AP Obvious Headline: Students suspended for skipping class to meet Obama. Reality: Students suspended for skipping class (68)
(Newsbusters) Obvious The lowest-rated cable channel is teaming up with the lowest-rated radio network in the hopes of finding success by bashing Republicans and conservatives (70)
Time Amusing Obama is already whining and making excuses about Pennsylvania (110)
Chicago Sun-Times Interesting The Tony Rezko trial just got a whole lot of crazy. Karl Rove, U.S. attorney firings kind of crazy (53)
AP Scary Supreme Court decides that pesky writ of habeus corpus can be dealt with after you've already been arbitrarily searched and found guilty by a police officer (288)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Michelle Malkin goes there: Which terrorists support which Democratic presidential candidate? (121)
Slate Interesting The incoherent "sputtering rage" of the progressive Left at Hillary Clinton not rolling over and accepting defeat graciously is basically "liberals foreshadowing their own November defeat" (94)
(Andrew Sullivan) Interesting Since March 4th, Hillary has dominated Obama in her firewall states of Ohio, Texas and Pennsylvania so much that her net delegate gain is a whopping 5. That's 0.2% of the total delegates (169)
(New York Times) Amusing Hillary's Pennsylvania campaign was "meaner, more vacuous, more desperate, and more pandering than the mean, vacuous, desperate, pander-filled contests preceding it." And THAT's from a paper that endorsed her (125)
NYPost Obvious Obama "is the one unable to overtake his opponent. The media should put down the Obama Kool-Aid and ask why." Mmmm, Obama Kool-Aid. Probably tastes like menthol cigarettes and elitism (216)
(Some Guy) Interesting An analysis of the generation gap found in the PA primary results (61)
(The Atlantic) Interesting How the expectation game is played: Hillary Clinton now has won four contests in a row, managing to kick Wyoming and Mississippi out of the union (116)
CNN Stupid Supporters going nuts over the 16 percent Ron Paul got in meaningless Pennsylvania GOP primary (104)
AP Followup If you don't want to get blamed for covering up 12,000 suicide attempts a year by veterans in your care, don't start your emails with "Shh" (137)
(McClatchy) Dumbass In a stunning move that is sure to please everybody, McCain picks a failing Ohio factory to laud free trade (72)
(NYTimes) Cool Credit crunch spurs government to buy student loans. I want "to make sure federal loans continue to be available" says Education Secretary Margaret Spellings, 43rd in line of succession to the presidency (83)
(The London Paper) Amusing News: Man knocks out politician. Fark: With a well aimed stress ball to the head (57)
USA Today Obvious Bush sets another record with 69 percent disapproval rating. YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG (276)
(Daily Kos) Interesting Elizabeth Edwards to campaign with Hillary in North Carolina (387)

Tue April 22, 2008
Fox News Followup Hillary sees her shadow in Pennsylvania. We can expect six more weeks of tired, pathetic campaigning (1003)
AP Followup Pennsylvania primary discussion thread, Part Deux (855)
(Some Guy) Hero Sen. George McGovern takes the young whippersnapper Sen. John McCain to task for nearly thirty year old slam. Submitter gladly gets off his lawn and salutes him for knowing when to land a good punch (129)
AP PSA Pennsylvania primary discussion thread (Closed - see new thread) (1410)
CBC Sad UN estimates Darfur conflict death toll at 300,000 now. Good thing they don't have oil (160)
MSNBC Followup In an apparent attempt to set a land speed record in lying to cover up another lie, Bill Clinton denies saying "Obama played the race card on me" even though that S-bomb interview taped him saying it (185)
(Town Hall) Stupid Chuck Norris doesn't just defend tired creationist canards, he uses them to pummel godless scientists into stupefied oblivion (276)
Talking Points Memo Followup TPM asks the question no one else seems to have considered regarding Clinton's promise to destroy Iran if it nuked Israel: Doesn't Israel have second strike capability to handle exactly such a situation on their own? (193)
(NewsBusters) Asinine Al Gore's "An Inconvenient Truth" and "The Day After Tommorrow" are closer than you think. In some places, they're the same film. With side-by-side comparison video goodness (199)
(Daily Kos) Followup US Attorney and Lieberman campaign both knew hacking accusations were false before the 2006 general election, shockingly decided not to say anything (53)
(PennLive) Unlikely Newspaper in Pennsylvania's state capital runs front-page story with photos of Clinton, Obama, puts sticker over Clinton's face. Bonus: Claims it was "an accident", not a sign of bias (471)
(HotAir.com) Stupid New York Times continues its streak of failure hit jobs on McCain (72)
Reason Magazine Dumbass Bill Clinton lies like a rug. Shocking, right? Bonus: S-bomb at end of audio when he thinks the mic is dead (99)
MSNBC Dumbass "Fifteen percent of those surveyed said they have supported a cause because of what they heard an actor, singer or other celebrity say or do." (307)
Chicago Sun-Times Interesting Clinton preferred over Obama by bowlers, hunters, gun owners, and women; tied among beer drinkers (76)
(The Daily Dish) Dumbass Stupidest. Protester. EVAR (w/ pic) (130)
(Some Guy) Obvious Hillary runs ads showing Pearl Harbour and Bin Laden, which can only mean one thing. We're safe from Hitler (122)
LA Times Dumbass Some dirtball is complaining that John McCain is recieving disabilty payments for his war injuries (244)
(Some Guy) Obvious McCain hires beauty queen to supervise interns so if he gets involved in a sex scandal the entire nation doesn't go "eeeew WTF" (131)
(Some Guy) Asinine Pennsylvania Governor and Clinton surrogate Ed Rendell praised Louis Farrakhan as "one who really knows the meaning of respect for women" (40)
(WYFF) Asinine Real church marquee in SC: "Obama, Osama, hmmm are they brothers?" (1124)
(Some Guy) Asinine Tony Snow hired as political analyst for CNN. Wag, dog (62)
9 News Dumbass Ensuring his quick removal from office, Representative in Colorado State Legislature calls Mexican workers "illiterate peasants" (115)
Guardian.com Cool If Obama loses Pennsylvania, it's because he refused to pay people to vote for him (255)
AP Cool What has the Bush administration done right in foreign policy? How about attempting to block a sale of Chinese arms to Zimbabwe security forces (93)

Mon April 21, 2008
The Consumerist Obvious Congress allows consumers to testify against credit card company abuse, provided consumers sign waivers allowing credit card companies to publish private consumer information such as purchases, social security number, and payment history (157)
Washington Post Ironic Bill Clinton is peeved at system the Democrats use for primary, claims GOP system would have already made Hill the nominee. If only there were some sort of candidate for change (64)
ABC News Scary Hillary Clinton - "If Iran attacks Israel, I will obliterate them" (269)
(Some Broke Bitter Man) Interesting Forty percent of Americans call "poverty" the biggest moral issue. This is a greater percentage of people than those who selected abortion, gay marriage or any of the other issues so-called "values voters" care about (254)
YouTube Ironic Watch as Bill Clinton makes the same arguments Barack Obama did about God, gays and guns (101)
Wall Street Journal Obvious Forty-one different "journalists" have independently decided it was totally unfair for Barack Obama to get some questions at the debate that weren't softballs (127)
(Some Guy) Silly All three presidential candidates to appear on "WWE Raw" tonight, expected to be a in a triple threat Texas cage match to determine the winner. (Bonus: Video with corny catchphrases) (417)
(Brisbane Times) Scary Zimbabwe's health minister shows up at a political meeting with assault rifle, threatens death to anyone not voting for Mugabe. Hillary seen taking notes, shoving Bill towards gun shop (42)
AP Followup Hamas admits it can't recognize Israel because the Zionist state has gotten so much bigger since '67. Maybe if it shed some of those extra territories it would look a bit more familiar (731)
(Politico) Amusing Ron Paul campaign releases ad attacking McCain. Really (131)
Boston Globe Asinine Hillary to Central PA voters: I understand you because I'm white (172)
(Some Guy) Obvious Obama is not the mythical all-powerful bringer of hope and love libs thought he was (294)
(Financial Times) Interesting The most authoritative financial newspaper in the world endorses Barack Obama, saying he "genuinely seeks consensus", as opposed to that fire-breathing she-goblin (39)
The Sun Obvious Gore says no improvement in climate since his 2006 movie. And for a hefty fee, he's willing to let you fly him somewhere and give a speech telling you so (466)
(Some Guy) Unlikely Logical and insightful article proves Carter is a traitor who hates America (187)
Wall Street Journal Scary Witness the stealthy ways Democrats use to ensure you remain reliant on big government healthcare (353)
AP Obvious Using an arcane process known as "arithmetic," economists raise questions about how McCain can keep his promises to balance the budget, keep the war going and cut taxes by $3.2 trillion (239)
Guardian.com Obvious U.S. military loses all their Gitmo enema videos faster than a new husband caught surfing the net for porn (75)
(Some Guy) Cool Michael Moore: "Can't vote -- eating. OM NOM NOM NOM" (160)
USA Today Obvious McCain kicks off strategy to woo minority voters back to the GOP. Difficulty: "The core of the [GOP is] conservative white Southerners. There is no group that African-Americans trust less than conservative white Southerners" (182)
(The Moscow Times) Obvious Newspaper that claimed Putin was leaving his wife for a gymnast is closed down faster than you can say, "What a country" (96)
Wonkette Caption Caption Hillary's thoughts as she gazes at Barack Obama (93)
The Raw Story Amusing Ann Coulter has a booksigning in a bathroom. No word if it was men's or women's (50)
Metro Amusing Read my lips: More steak for all (28)
AP Interesting Barack Obama has $51 million in the bank, John McCain $11 million. Hillary Clinton? Let's just say she's gonna have to send the kids to live with her sister up in Buffalo (133)
(Some Guy) Interesting If you are a candidate for the U.S. Senate, perhaps you should clear up that old Indiana arrest warrant that you have first (29)

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