Universal healthcare is good... unless of course you're sick	(18)
		Clinton: "My daddy taught me to shoot like a good American" Voter: "When was the last time you shot a gun?" Clinton: "That's not a relevant issue in this campaign"	(197)
(kos)		Not News: Two political hacks write a book about how the media is giving a certain presidential candidate a free ride. Fark: The candidate is John McCain	(64)
(TIME)		TIME magazine points out that no matter how flawed Obama is, Hillary still couldn't win a national election against Hitler's dog	(93)
		What would a Hillary presidency look like? Carl Bernstein puts it in three words: perpetual, incompetent psychodrama	(89)
		Remember when stories like this were only found in The Onion? Hillary chugs beer and does a shot to prove how non-elite she is	(102)
(Pew Research)		A solid majority of those who were polled expressed "dissatisfaction" with the overall direction of the country. A majority of Republicans. Wait, what?	(71)
		Why is Republican voter registration down? It couldn't possibly be the war in Iraq, the Medicare boondoggle, Katrina, or their mountain of sheer incompetence	(92)
(PoliGazette)		Former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales finding that nobody wants to hire him. Where's a Karma tag when you need one?	(63)
		Jimmy Carter raises furor after meeting with Hamas, responds with "at least someone should." Such statesmanship. Why isn't this man running for President?	(211)
		Huffington Post insists Obama shouldn't be punished for calling small-town America a bunch of racist, homophobe gun nuts. Because they are. So there	(319)
(Some Guy)		Alec Baldwin explains why it would be good to elect Obama: Because then he could appoint Hillary to the Supreme Court. Still no cure for Alec Baldwin	(53)
		Chelsea Clinton tangles verbally with pro-Obama Student, student falls in like	(63)
(Some Guy)		After Obama's flap involving guns, Hillary Clinton touts her experience with firearms and how she thought about returning fire in Bosnia	(45)
		Classic and truly bizarre 1996 Dana Carvey Show sketch of Bill Clinton imprisoning Hillary and breastfeeding puppies, kitty	(24)
		Old and Busted: "I BELIEVE IN GOD" bumper stickers. New Hotness: "I BELIEVE IN GOD" license plates	(99)
(Politico)		Because things are getting salty in the Democratic primary, here are 12 reasons "bitter" is bad for Obama. This must be sweet for McCain, who is enjoying seeing his opponents turn sour	(102)
		Jimmy Carter and Al Gore are lined up to ask Clinton to concede. Because if you want to take advice from a couple of winners, those are your guys	(102)

(Some Guy)		Hillary declares, "I am a pro-gun churchgoer"	(203)
(HuffPo)		"The Daily Show" sets Fox News Channel on fire	(130)
		Oregon officials resign rather than fill out new Ministry of Truth forms	(39)
(Huffington Post)		After pouncing on Obama's populist anger and attacking it by using phrases like "elitist" and "out of touch", its became obvious that Clinton is running a Republican campaign	(123)
		Another Clinton "misspeak," another international incident. Awkward	(51)
(Some Libertarian)		Bob Barr is polling at 7% nationally - which is what Ross Perot was polling right after he announced his campaign	(65)
(Some Guy)		Obama now admits he may have made a mistake by saying people who like god and guns are bitter	(441)
		Iran denies confrontation with U.S. Navy in Gulf of Tonkin	(79)
		America realizes African National Congress isn't terrorist group after all, will try to get Nelson Mandela, Nobel Peace Prize winner and former President of South Africa, off the no-fly list	(25)
		Think living in California is already expensive? Bill in CA legislature will increase tax on beer 1,500%	(63)
		One of Stalin's doubles comes forwards at age 88 to tell his story. "I was like him in every way, except perhaps my ears. They were too small" (pic)	(21)
		Presidential candidates agree that violation of rights of suspected terrorists should take place somewhere other than Guantanamo	(31)
		Hillary to Bill: STFU about Bosnia already, President Dumbass	(40)
(Mining Journal)		Ann Coulter visit prompts diversity and tolerance	(68)
(Some Guy)		Luke Skywalker endorses Barack Obama	(66)
(Exclaim.ca)		Roger Waters afraid Hillary would "farking invade Iran" if President. Run like hell	(47)
(dkos)		ABC: Bush admits he authorized torture. Believe it or not, it gets worse from there	(296)
		The NAACP decides to help Obama by inviting Jeremiah Wright to be the keynote speaker at their next convention	(78)
(Some Guy)		Obama says people in small towns "cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren't like them ... to explain their frustrations." That oughta play well in Pennsyltucky	(604)

		Clinton proposes 100,000 new police officers on streets; feels a surge will be an effective means of controlling violence	(79)
(AD)		"Those on the left suddenly outraged about the treatment of Tibet by China may now, finally, understand the right’s longstanding problem with Communism. Congratulations"	(550)
(NYT)		After five years of seeing it close-up, the view of young Iraqis toward radical Islam is pretty much the same as the average poster on Little Green Footballs	(187)
(crooksandliars)		McCain flip-flops on his randian "you're on your own" solution to the mortgage crisis, now suggesting a Marxist homeowner utopia instead	(105)
		Good: Presidential candidate that connects with voters with witty statements and playing the bass. Bad: Politician actually thinks he has a future in entertainment, signs with talent agency	(27)
		In an effort to look like an everyman, Clinton campaign chairman Terry McAuliffe rides a mechanical bull, succeeds in looking like a politico on a mechanical bull rather than a cowboy	(38)
		Clintonistas and Obamaniacs rejoice, your candidates have the same policy on just about everything. Furious denial line starts over here -->	(344)
(Some Guy)		Instead of her face, porn star running for city hall puts pictures of her ass on her campaign posters; "I am the derriere of the Socialist party"	(118)
		Because it's their absolute human right, athletes will be allowed to speak without restriction during Olympics, according to IOC chief. Well, OK, with small restrictions	(50)
(Some Guy)		Cubans are so upset at the loss of Fidel as President that they can't even stand to be in the country anymore	(25)
(The Politico)		Bill Clinton on Tuzla-gate: "One time late at night when she was exhausted, misstated and immediately apologized for it, what happened to her in Bosnia in 1995." Seriously, he can't be trying to help her win	(118)
(KTAR)		Uptight Arizona state government officials very upset at radio station and their April Fools joke because it actually had to make them work for once	(19)

(crooksandliars)		McCain unveils daring new ad campaign aimed at the lolcats demographic	(126)
(Yahoo)		Sen. John McCain's Mini-Me Sen. Lindsay Graham likes it when McCain calls him a "little jerk", says it is standard bedroom talk in the GOP	(34)
		And what could be more surprising than the first battallion transvestite brigade?	(222)
(Free Republic)		Liberals David Brock (Media Matters), Paul Begala (CNN), and George Soros (Deathstar Orbiting Earth) recently held a secret meeting to plan a 4-month, $40 million campaign to turn your children gay, clone terrorists, and ban NASCAR	(243)
		Obama's cell phone vibrates in pocket, might be mistaken for magical vibrating penis. It's not news it's CNN	(86)
		Bill Clinton prepares fourth Indiana tour. Plans to visit French Lick and then use 69 until he gets off in Marion	(99)
		State department suggests to Jimmy Carter that meeting with a terrorist group that considers America an enemy may not be the wisest decision for an ex-president to make, even one who's borderline senile	(552)
		10 years ago today, Hillary Clinton authored and signed the Belfast Good Friday agreement on Northern Ireland after bravely dodging sniper fire on her way to the conference	(213)
(Jpost)		Ex Israeli PM: "Iran will be the first nuclear state in history against which deterrence won't work, even if the deterrent is nuclear," so let's nuke the bastards. That'll show em	(746)
(Think Progress)		John Yoo wasn't the only Bush Administration official who claimed torture was legal. Other obscure officials who did the same: Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, Condaleeza Rice, John Ashcroft and Colin Powell	(508)
		President Bush will give a speech on Iraq today where he will claim we've made a lot of progress but we can't leave. Its the same speech he made in 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006 and 2007 but its way different this time	(312)
(Some Guy)		Actual headline: "Presidential candidate Ron Paul to visit TF." This and more can be yours for just $5 a month	(56)
		Hillary has a new whine to go with her cheese, claiming Obama's soaring popularity with Pennsylvania voters was a result of his lying TV ads. And anyway, that was supposed to be HER state, dammit	(166)
(Salem News)		Ross Perot gets White House to bend the rules for WW1's last surviving vet (and WW2 P.O.W.) to get an Arlington burial	(155)
		Angry son runs against politician father to teach him a lesson after his dad left his wife to move in with another woman	(12)
(Some Guy)		Clinton supporter Elton John slams U.S. citizens for "misogyny" by not coronating Hillary Clinton as president when it's clearly her turn	(127)
		UC Davis ready to turn deadbeat client's account over to collection agency. The client? Clinton's campaign, which has owed them $7,000 since holding an event there in January and hasn't paid a cent since	(76)
(Some Really Crazy Cat Lady)		Ambassador Joe "I have a really hot wife" Wilson bashes Obama for his lack of foreign policy experience. Be honest, if you were tapping Valerie Plame you'd be a "yes, dear" voter too	(56)
(NewsBusters)		Matthews For Senate? Chris Says Anything But 'No'	(26)

(Some Guy)		Homeland Security decides it is not going obey laws protecting the environment, endangered species, farms, forests, Native American graves and religious freedom in order to build their anti-Mexican wall	(253)
		Resolution condemning China's crackdown on Tibet passes House by a vote of 413-1. Guess who voted no	(204)
(Some cynic)		Religion of Peace™ donates blankets and food to Western poor. Wait, is that how the cliche goes?	(92)
		Apparently the spine that Nancy Pelosi ordered months ago showed up. She is blocking the free trade agreement with Columbia	(85)
		Remember Bilal Hussein, the embedded AP photographer who has been in US military custody for two years without being charged? The man right wing blogs were so sure was a terrorist who should be executed? Yeah, turns out he was innocent. WHOOPSIE	(166)
		"Cyber-terrorists may bring down vital websites..." must be a Mets fan	(63)
(HuffPost)		Clinton Crazies™ unveil new American flag they will carry into convention if Florida and Michigan delegates are not seated	(192)
		George Clooney talks with British Prime Minister about the situation in Darfur, his nuanced role in "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes"	(15)
(Columbus Dispatch)		Ohio Supreme Court rules against execution of mentally retarded killer. That sound you hear is every citizen in Texas calling Ohio residents a bunch of pussies	(411)
(Tribune Review)		What was the reaction of the billionare republican who has spent decades and millions of dollars hounding the Clintons after 90 minute meeting with Hillary? "Eh, she's not so bad after all"	(42)
(WBBM780.com)		Obama delegate not quitting after "monkey" comment	(298)
		Huffington Post correspondent shocked--SHOCKED--to discover that US politicians use the Autopen. A lot	(32)
		According to Sen. Jay Rockefeller, John McCain doesn't know anything about combat or care about the lives of people since he "was a fighter pilot, who dropped laser-guided missiles from 35,000 feet and was long gone when they hit."	(212)
		Indiana students are more interested in Bill's sex life than Hillary's politics, as shown by repeatedly asking Chelsea about it	(190)
		Bernanke urges young people to sharpen their financial acumen so their ass hurts less when this financial crisis is over	(148)
(wwe.com)		WWE invites Hillary and Obama to settle their differences in the squared circle. McCain politely declines steel cage and punji stick match	(49)
(MyFox Atlanta)		Georgia Lawmakers: “We have a great idea. Let’s allow people to bring guns into public places.” Georgia Businesses: “You’re kidding, right?”	(964)
		Should Mark Penn stay or should he go? /with help from the Clash	(11)
		Clinton: "Penn flap won't hurt us". Hehe, penn flaps	(33)
		Polls show the rest of the world would prefer that the US elect Barack Obama, barring the emergence of a socialist party candidate, of course	(87)
(Some Guy)		Recently-resigned politician believed so much in the Patriot Act, he wired his house to videotape ALL of his encounters with male prostitutes	(113)
(Stamford Advocate)		Federal investigation concludes that either Lieberman's website was a POS or he crashed it on purpose. Silver lining: Joe Lieberman has finally lied about something that did not result in the death of American troops	(83)
		Barack Obama enjoys his first hot, delicious waffle of the campaign season as he prepares to go back on his pledge to accept public financing if he's the nominee	(99)
		Mike Huckabee puts up mysterious countdown clock on his website. What could it be for? VE	(215)
		Illegal immigrants form labor union. Dems seen flocking to Houston with kneepads	(119)
		Forget the war, recession and housing crisis. Congress works on the imprortant issues like a bill to protect blind people from hybrid cars	(145)
		Michelle Malkin is heroically leading the charge in the boycotting of Absolut vodak in response to their Islamohomomexicofascist identity politics. She's like the Rosa Parks of the disproportional outrage movement	(395)
		"We need more white people" and other fun things you hear at an Obama event	(210)
		Turns out, that $3 trillion dollar estimate for the total cost of the Iraq war might be too low	(87)
		Hillary's and Obama's promise of tax increases serve up a dish of fail in both budget arithmetic and economics	(197)
		So exactly who did authorize the presence of Chinese paramilitary forces on London's streets?	(97)
		Michelle Obama: "In order to get things like universal health care and a revamped education system, then someone is going to have to give up a piece of their pie so that someone else can have more." Mmmm, redistributionist pie	(318)
		Federal employees use their government credit cards to buy lingerie, booze, and steak dinners. Look at it this way: Now we know at least some taxpayer dollars are being put to good use	(93)
		AP Government textbook written by former Bush administration faith-based initiatives director and a "Ronald Reagan Professor" found to have glaring errors	(290)
(Some Guy)		Caption this picture of Hillary the scientist	(135)
		Sen. Byrd (D), aged 90, onion dangling from his belt (as was the style), clings to powerful committee post with withered, skeletal claw	(63)
		The McCain Girls are back, with "Here Comes McCain Again." Really can't wait for "Purple McCain"	(129)
(Some Guy)		Ari Fleischer's simple tip to avoiding Olympic torch protest problems: get faster runners	(20)
(Some Guy)		Hillary Clinton: "I understand that there has been, throughout this campaign, something of a double standard. I accept it; I live with it"	(95)
		Obama calls for talks with Iran over Iraq	(118)
		Obama should be denounced for not denouncing denouncer of McCain, even though the denouncer isn't connected to Obama, says denouncer connected to McCain	(33)
(Some Guy)		The Washington Times unveil a stunning poll result that will change the way you think about politics forever	(37)

		A worried nation cringes amid rumors of Condi Rice being tabbed for McCain's running mate	(145)
		Man files lawsuit claiming that because the U.S. Constitution relies on the pronouns "he" and "his" in describing the duties of the president, no woman can hold the office	(60)
		Q: Is what we're doing in Iraq making us safer? Petraeus: I dunno. (6 months later) I've thought a lot about this question, and I think you should ask somebody else	(91)
(Politico)		In their appeal to superdelegates, Obama campaign finally says what we've all been thinking: if Hillary can't run a primary campaign against him, how can she possibly beat McCain, and how can she run the country?	(127)
(PalmBeachPost)		Photo on White House Web site shows naked woman reflected in smiling Dick Cheney's glasses	(109)
(Huffington Post)		What did Bill Clinton do to get $15 million from Ron Burkle?	(53)
		If it whoops, hollers, and swings from trees, it's a monkey. Unless you're an Obama delegate	(129)
		In the future, Houstonians will no longer have unsightly billboards obstructing their gorgeous view of strip malls, Wal-Marts and Asian massage parlors	(274)
(Some Guy)		Bill Maher and guy who directed "Borat" take on the Lord God	(377)
		Don't like the BBC's reporting on climate change? Just write to them, and they'll change it. Repeatedly	(135)
(Huffington)		The resignation of Clinton's chief strategist was just for show. He's still at the helm of the Titanic	(92)
(Michelle Malkin)		New race of "super terrorists" who ride around on tigers and shoot laser beams are infiltrating America and will kill you and everyone you care about unless you vote Republican in '08	(126)
		Another sign that the Democratic president primaries are owned by unions: "In the 2008 campaign, free trade has become the primary Democratic taboo"	(143)
		Media lovefest with Obama continues: ABC goes to Iraq, finds the three soldiers who support Obama, and then declares military is supporting him for president. That's some fine reporting there, Lou	(375)
		In his Congressional testimony, Gen. Petraeus is expected to say everything's getting better but we can never leave or change anything and everything wrong is because of Iran, which is exactly what he said last time	(482)
		In order to protest the protest against China, China condemns the condemnation of China	(117)
		John Cleese wants to be speechwriter for Barack Obama, polishes up his "dead parrot" sketch with McCain playing the Norwegian Blue	(76)
		McCain's ties with Arizona's two black people are strained	(48)
		Australian political leaders don't want to be anywhere near the Olympic Torch when the protester bait arrives in the country	(30)
		Wonder why the growing wave of super delegates for Obama came to their decisions? In large part, "their kids made them do it"	(209)
		Hillary ahead in "the only count that matters"	(162)
		FAA man in charge of flight standards is reassigned after whistleblower reports reveal he had none. You're doing a heckuva job, Stuckey	(18)
		Fresh off the heels "JFK" and "Nixon", there now seems to be shocking revelations that Oliver Stone's script for "W" may be historically inaccurate	(124)
		Economists fear that banks have become too dependent on Federal Reserve handouts. But it has nothing to do with personal responsibility because they aren't poor or minorities	(143)

(kos)		Lobbyist who attempted to donate to Obama's campaign gets refused. Meanwhile, the Clinton campaign continues to automatically withdraw from their account... four months after they requested it stop	(177)
		John McCain decides that his documented track record of being wrong about every single aspect of everything happening in Iraq since 2002 entitles him to tell other people what will and will not work in Iraq	(77)
(Some Guy)		Congressman Jim Moran requesting that funding for abstinence-only sexual programs be left out of this year’s Education Bill. "Our tax dollars shouldn't be used on ideologically-driven boondoggles". They had me at Jim Moran	(53)
		Recession expected to worsen as the vaunted "Anti-George Bush" bubble is ready to burst	(41)
(Some Guy)		Clinton drops hospital story from her stump speeches, installs fire extinguishers in her pants	(105)
(Think Progress)		Rep. Bachmann claims "we're losing our country" because of immigration. Hmmmm, Bachmann... is that the Lakota Bachmanns or the Blackfoot Bachmanns?	(198)
		Swiftboatin' 2: Obama Boogaloo	(110)
(Some Guy)		Governor Jon Corzine (D-Huff Post) loudly and angrily insists he is not -- repeat NOT -- going to stop supporting Hillary. Translation: He'll be an Obama supporter by the end of this week	(21)
(Some Guy)		Rabbi congressman campaigns against Bacon	(43)
		Answer: "At least I don't plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you c*nt." Question: What did John McCain scream at his wife in public during a 1992 Senate re-election campaign stop?	(172)
(Some Guy)		No one is buying crappy anti-war music, and it's the fault of "American Idol"	(86)
		There are only two kinds of people that understand Marines: Marines and Hillary Clinton	(82)
(North Star Writers Group)		Obama complains about other candidates' "politics of fear," and proceeds to declare that if he is not elected, all the jobs will be shipped and the rich will eat the poor	(76)
		Normal: Concerned citizen speaks to legislature about giving money directly to churches. Not normal: Legislator yells at her. "It's dangerous for our children to even know that your philosophy exists! You have no right to be here"	(247)
		Clinton leads Obama in the vital statistic of Starbucks stores in states won, 4,341 to 3,888	(30)
		Chairman of Hillary Clinton's presidential campaign poses for photos holding signs for the other guy. Oops	(70)
		John McCain is the presidential candidate with the most realistic health care reform proposal. But it involves the market and consumer choice instead of more freebies, so nobody will like it	(294)
(TPM)		Second polling outfit confirms that Clinton's lead in Pennsylvania is gone	(120)
(Kos)		New poll shows that Connecticut has some slight buyers remorse now that Joe Lieberman has turned into an advocate of permanent unprovoked wars with any country that just so happens to be Islamic	(67)
		France sends elite troops armed with state-of-the-art white flags to help free yacht hostages	(137)
(Daily Camera)		Colorado lawyers lay out plan for the next president to use executive orders to bypass Congress and make sweeping environmental policy changes, such as harnessing energy from the rotational velocity of dead Founding Fathers	(75)
		How the media fumbled the biggest story of the 2008 campaign -- the amazing candidacy of Ron Paul	(199)
(DU)		Lest you forget, Hillary signed a pledge in September that Florida and Michigan wouldn't count. She was against counting them before she was for them	(229)
		Department of Homeland Security claims all 50 states now comply with RealID, even the ones that refuse to comply and have outlawed it altogether	(59)
		If you're a long-term investor looking for shoreline property, just snap up everything at an altitude of 75 meters and wait	(202)
(Chris Matthews show)		Sullivan: "Rumsfeld will be indicted for war crimes." Rumsfeld: "I'm not into this detail stuff. I'm more concepty"	(148)
		Thirty years after nearly being killed by Jonestown nutjobs, woman is poised to take the Congressional seat of the guy killed by the same nutjobs	(21)
		Howard Dean EEEAAAUUURGES super delegates to pick a Democratic nominee soon	(154)