Zimbabwe officials delay election "results" while more votes are being fabricated. Bonus: lolcat protest sign	(38)
		While most states are simply choosing to ignore the ramifications of the REAL ID act, Montana decides to send a letter to DHS which kindly requests of them to STFU	(69)
(Some Guy)		CNN Frontpage headline: Obama - "I was terrible". Actual story: "Obama on bowling - I was terrible". It's not news, it's CNN.com	(75)
(Some Guy)		Hillary finally releases part of her tax return. And those aren't redaction lines, they're holes from sniper's bullets	(52)
(Physorg.com)		Even though tobacco-related deaths in New York have dropped dramatically since public smoking ban, city smokers still whining they have the god-given right to poison everyone's air and run up everyone's insurance premiums	(217)
(Long War Journal)		You know all that media tripe about how Sadr is winning? Actually, he just called for a ceasefire because he's getting his ass kicked	(62)
		Proving Carville's "it's the economy, stupid" sentiment stunningly correct, economics-based election predictor accurately predicted Bush's '04 win and points to Dem victory in November	(93)
		Hillary's choice of campaign manager was a little subprime	(36)
		"Hillary is having the worst case of cognitive dissonance in the history of modern politics"	(225)
(Some Big Brother)		Georgia governor Sonny Perdue writes intoxicatingly stupid editorial defending the ban on Sunday alcohol sales	(69)
		Biometrics are great, so long as no one else knows your biometry. A lesson recently learned by the German interior minister after hackers published his fingerprint	(80)
(Tribune-Review)		Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, Richard Mellon Scaife changing his mind about Hillary, mass hysteria	(43)
		It's official: Texas to be added to the list of states that "don't matter"	(74)
		Some Democrats hoping to sacrifice the people of New York to save the presidency	(119)
		US makes new Mid-East peace bid. Bidding is expected to begin at $120 per barrel	(12)
		Obama says Clinton, like a fallen competitor in the Special Olympics, should keep running	(74)

(HuffPo)		Senator Chuck Hagel says "Obama has the best chance of bringing the country together." Behold, Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel	(131)
		Hillary announces that she'll quit her doomed campaign when they pry it from her cold, dead hands	(91)
(Kos)		Reporter: "Do condoms help stop AIDS?" McCain: "I don't know"	(175)
		The free market at work: Federal Reserve offers an additional $100M to bail out crooked banks	(182)
(Evansville Courier-Press)		Indiana HS students get the opportunity to play a 3-on-3 game with Barack Obama if get register 20 of their friends to vote. Obama promises not to intentionally foul students in the last 2 minutes of the game	(38)
		Florida lawmaker reckons changing clocks back and forth two times a year is too much for people who can't even operate a voting machine	(33)
		"This disastrous regression in race relations is the natural dividend of liberal identity politics. Barack Obama is on his way to a McGovern candidacy."	(187)
		Congress' refusal to allow warrantless wiretapping of Americans has driven AG Michael Mukasy to cry harder than John Boehner when he has to miss a tobacco fundraiser	(50)
(Some Guy)		Obama has donated more than three times as much money to superdelegate campaigns as Hillary Clinton has	(90)
		Howard Dean 2004: "Who would you rather have in charge of the defense of the United States of America, a group of people who never served a day overseas in their life, or a guy who served his country honorably?"	(77)
		In a deft political move, Barack Obama differentiates himself from Clinton by... aligning his foreign policy with Ronald Reagan?	(87)
		Canadian man fingerprinted, photographed, run through FBI's most-wanted list at US border. Because he's HIV positive	(22)
(Think Progress)		Freed Alabama governor argues that it was Karl Rove's fault he took a $600k bribe	(54)
		Smaller government, free markets and fiscal conservatism used to be in fashion in the Republican party. What the hell happened?	(366)
		James Carville persists in describing Gov Richardson as Judas. By analogy Bill Clinton is Jesus, Hillary is Mary Magdalene, and Obama is Robert Langdon	(57)
(The Nation)		Wikipedia turns into the latest war zone for the Democratic presidential campaigns	(55)
		Chelsea says mom would be better prez than dad	(66)
(Bismarck Tribune)		Today's "white kids in blackface perform a skit about Barack Obama getting a lapdance" brought to you by North Dakota	(223)
		Pat, I'd like to buy a vowel and the presidency	(32)
		It turns out that the U.S. trained Iraqi Army aren't exactly ready to "stand up" and are getting their asses handed to them in Basra. 4th Infantry Division rolls in to save their asses in 3..2..1	(84)
(Asia News)		South Korea threatens North Korea with war, first time since 1953. This is going to end well	(54)
(Some Guy)		Ralph Nader urges Hillary Clinton to keep running. Because if there's one thing Ralph Nader knows, it's running hopeless campaigns	(59)
		He was an illegal immigrant, but he served 2 tours of duty in Iraq and he will soon ship out to Afghanistan. Heads of conservatives seen exploding due to record levels of disgust and pride at the same time	(54)
		Dean tells Obama and Clinton supporters to knock off the personal attacks. Also tells of the fish he caught that was this big	(40)

		Today: Hillary claims to have brought peace to Northern Ireland. Tomorrow: Hillary claims to have invented Internet, rotary engine	(66)
		Gates orders nuke inventory after it is revealed that in addition to being unable to find Saddam's WMDs the Pentagon also has problems keeping track of their own	(36)
		Article about McCain's good hand fails to mention his bad hand, lacks significant reference to Bob Dole	(42)
(Next Energy News)		US has 200 billion barrels of oil that could make it energy independent and which nobody has yet tapped, according to website you've never heard of and which capitalizes the word "oil" for some reason	(115)
		Ah, Chicago politics. High-ranking city employee acquitted of shoplifting $130 in groceries after prosecutors "failed" to play surveillance video. Worker may get her $80k/year "corruption-fighting" job back	(78)
		It turns out that Hillary's sniper-dodging Bosnian airport landing actually DID happen- to Senator Olympia Snowe, 6 months earlier	(163)
		Another Friday afternoon, another Bush aide resigning for wrongdoing	(58)
(Oblogatory Anecdotes)		McCain/Romney? Now That's the Ticket	(100)
(insidebayarea.com)		"The Millennial Generation — those born since 1982 — are taking this generational stand to say, 'We're not apathetic; we're not like Gen X. We know politics. We get politics.'"	(200)
		Hillary: Obama was lying when he described himself as a law professor. University of Chicago: Not so fast she-Rove	(209)
(dkos)		Congressman excusing White House's loss of e-mails says Lotus Notes is as obsolete as a 'wagon wheel'. IBM is not amused	(49)
		"The transformation of the 2008 campaign into a full-fledged cultural battle is what is really emerging from the Jeremiah Wright flap."	(89)
		Thousands of Kentucky Republican voters who switched party affiliation to influence the Democratic primary have been denied the ability to vote, and now are just jackasses	(122)
		McCain releases his first general election TV ad	(50)
(RADAR)		In a surprising misstep, Barack Obama says that New Kids on the Block are the Beatles of his generation	(181)
(Asbury Park Press)		President Bush to visit Freehold, NJ today to pick up some undocumented immigrants to work on his lawn, talk about the mortgage industry	(16)
(Some Guy)		Condoleezza Rice (R-ace issues) admits that the US has trouble dealing with race issues because of slavery, idiotic soundbites	(108)
		Iraq to militias: Put down your arms in 72 hours . . . or we'll ask you to do it again in 10 days	(70)
(He Stole It From Himself)		We bring you this special announcement to announce that McCain did not plagiarize as we reported. In fact, it appears that his speech was the one that was plagiarized. Sorry for any potential uproar this error may have caused	(39)
		U.S. Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson says that your $600 tax rebate check will create 600,000 new jobs	(89)
(NY Daily News)		Nancy: I'm not afraid of you. Hillary: You will be. You will be	(99)
		Instead of crafting legislation now, Obama and Hillary get on their soapboxes and tell us what they'll do to fix the economy 10 months from now	(79)
		French President says his new love affair is not merely a one night stand but will "go into next-day breakfast as well"	(7)
		Al Sharpton and Pat Robertson are sitting on a couch and in walks Al Gore	(31)
		It's seal-hunting season in Canada. Or, as the Newfies call it, "open season on Greenpeacers". With bonus pic of a fine specimen with a flawless white pelt	(61)
		Wealthy Clinton supporters to Pelosi: Back off your position about the superdelegates following the pledged delegates. Pelosi: shove it	(59)
		China will not punish a group of Tibetan monks for disrupting a government-organized foreign media tour. Definitely won't take them out back by the bins for a kicking, honestly	(33)
		Bob Casey will endorse Barack Obama, join his electric kool aid acid test caravan across Pennsylbama	(76)
		Obama's book has passage agreeing with Rev. Wright that "white folks' greed runs a world in need"	(643)
		The Russians finally found someone to frame for Anna Politkovskaya's murder	(9)
		Proof that Obama is acting more like a Clinton every day: Barack does four fundraisers in a single night	(47)
(NY Times)		American anchorman on Al Jazeera's English news channel quits, citing its anti-Americanism. He looks forward to his new job at The Duh Channel	(31)
		Researchers discover possibility that voting Republican may be a genetically inheritable disease	(127)
(Some Guy)		Poll finds that most Americans felt irritated after watching Obama girl's latest video. In other news someone bothered to take a poll asking opinions on an Obama Girl video	(37)
(Some Guy)		Chris Dodd calls on party to end primary and submit to our new Obama overlord	(111)
		"Something remarkable has happened in the struggle for freedom and democracy. The world's most powerful nation, the United States, has slid backwards. The world's most populous Islamic state, Indonesia, has moved forward"	(102)

		Obama strikes ultimate "I see what you did there" pose. Caption what he really said	(242)
		Have you seen the retirement house that Rev. Jeremiah Wright is building? Goddamn	(317)
(Alabama dot com)		After 60 Minutes pointed out the minor detail that the only evidence in his bribery trial was completely fake, Gov. Don Seigelman has been released on bail pending his appeal	(119)
(Politico)		Nearly a quarter of Democrats (23%) who hold a negative view of Obama believe he is a Muslim	(245)
		Letter sent to Nancy Pelosi by big cheese Clinton backers has completely enraged big cheese Obama backers	(127)
(HuffPo)		$300 million contract to arm Afghan forces awarded to 22 year old. What could possibly go wrong? Bonus: Company's VP is a licensed masseur	(278)
		After seeing nude photos of her, British media declares French first lady to be the next Princess Diana	(138)
		Barack Obama is the new Pierre Trudeau, except for the dating Barbara Streisand thing	(97)
		Hillary Clinton is the new Ted Kennedy, liquor stores brace themselves	(87)
(NY Daily News)		NY Governor says he will no longer contribute to Fark	(82)
		Democrat pushes through $1.1 million earmark to stop Republican's vacation house from flooding. Who says the parties can't work together?	(62)
		Bush, Putin to meet to discuss who all our base belong to	(74)
		Despite about 1.35 million Fark assertions to the contrary, Pastor controversy didn't hurt Obama	(329)
(New York Times)		Obama supports plan giving superdelegates their very own mini-convention months early, re-writing the rules in a distinctly Clintonian fashion	(64)
		Sirhan Sirhan may may not not have have fired fired fatal fatal bullet bullet	(314)
		Another Eliot Spitzer prostitute-agency scandal emerges. Old and busted: Ashley Alexandra "Kristin" Dupre. New ho-ness: Kristin "Billie" Davis (w/pic)	(355)
		First, Gray Davis fell. Now, will it be Jon Corzine?	(25)
		Nightline reports as creationists go through a natural history museum and explain it to home schoolers. There are no words	(627)
		Pentagon says an eruption of new violence in southern Iraq is a "by-product of the success of the surge."	(145)
		Barack Obama spent a three day weekend on vacation playing golf, proving that he is at least as qualified as George Bush to be President	(85)
		Barack Obama caught in a lie: he was never, as he claims, a University of Chicago law professor, but rather a non-tenured senior lecturer	(173)

		Not true: On 9/11 Chelsea Clinton was dodging airplane debris. True: Chelsea Clinton was asleep 4 miles away and watched 9/11 on TV. Fark: Guess who just misspoke again?	(103)
		Some families skip health care because of cost, reports the Institute for the Study of Really Obvious Things	(31)
		From the Endorsement You Don't Want Department: Hugo Chavez says he'll back whichever Dem wins the nomination. Unlikely Tag Dept.: He also says if McCain wins, relations with the US will "only get worse"	(160)
		Former Bush aide says that Barack Obama would be a much tougher opponent for John McCain than Hillary	(56)
		So the US called and was all like, "You gotta stop killing your Tibetan protesters," and OMG, China was all like, "Whatev..."	(37)
		Hillary Clinton's favorable numbers reach a new low, possibly ducking sniper fire	(101)
(Some Guy)		Three US Representatives who went to Iraq in 2002, had their trip financed by Saddam. Fortunately they were able to defuse the whole WMD situation and the Middle East has been totally stable since then	(33)
(Texas Monthly)		McCain adviser who stepped aside rather than tear down Obama, asked if he'd be comfortable creating ads tearing down Hillary, says without pausing, "Absolutely. I'd do it in a minute. I'd burn my house down to do it"	(48)
		Think an Obama victory in Pennsylvania is impossible? Think again	(80)
		White House appoints new cyber-security czar with no computer security experience. He wrote a wiki, though, so he'll probably do a heckofa job	(52)
		Nearly 20 high-profile Hillary Clinton backers complain that Nancy Pelosi stating her opinion that superdelegates should follow the will of the voters is unfair to Hillary Clinton	(70)
		Florida legislature apologizes for slavery, but neglects to apologize for 2000 election, Anita Bryant, Elian Gonzalez's family, the Florida Marlins ownership, old drivers with their left-turn signals on, or Steve Spurrier	(67)
(Paul Krugman)		Remember how Social Security was on its last legs? "It’s now better than it’s been since 1993." Hm, who could be responsible for that?	(114)
		Fox News suggests Ron Paul may have been right all along. Also, the Pope was overheard saying that "that Allah guy might be the real deal," and Bush admits his only qualifications are staying in a Holiday Inn Express last night	(116)
		Realizing that he can't count entirely on the Democrats self-destructing, McCain does the only sensible thing he can do - he tosses President Bush under the international bus	(149)
		Clinton's redefinition of the word "misspeak" likely to enter common usage in the same way as "known unknowns" or "wardrobe malfunction"	(548)
		It is painful to watch defenders of Barack Obama tying themselves into knots trying to evade the obvious	(577)
(HuffPo)		Hillary compares Rev. Wright to Don Imus. Except Wright is black, a former marine, a man of the cloth and was talking about U.S. foreign policy and not making racist remarks about a sports team. Other than that, they're twins	(242)
		Before she was making up stories about taking sniper fire in Bosnia, Hillary was making up stories about trying to join the Marine Corps the year she married Bill	(48)
(Some Guy)		Video uncovered of Hillary Clinton dodging sniper and mortar fire in Tuzla	(194)
		The "Al-Quaeda" in Canada plot to kill the prime minister, if they can figure out who he is	(40)
		Bush pardons 15 convicted criminals whose offenses ranged from importation of heroin to knowingly selling migratory bird parts	(250)
		"Some politicians depend on [the American people] being idiots. That's how they get elected"	(124)
(Kos)		Clinton's minister comes out in support of Reverend Wright. Clinton would comment, but she's being pinned down by sniper fire	(279)
(Some Guy)		The BBC is embracing the old adage subby just made up: He that writes history can change history (reading article may require extra tinfoil for your hat)	(54)
		Butler University student asks Chelsea Clinton a question about Monica Lewinsky, gets a mouthful in return	(457)
(Third Party Watch)		Demonstrating that no one really knows what the word Libertarian means anymore, Gravel joins the Libertarian Party	(146)
		Should we boycott the Beijing Olympics? A better question: Would Americans notice if we boycotted the Olympics?	(146)
(Some Guy)		Supreme Court rules that Bush overstepped his bounds in telling the State of Texas to reopen a death penalty case	(114)

		NYC MTA: We'll improve service if we can raise fares. Riders: Ok, here's your fare hike. Where's the extra buses and trains? MTA: Psych. You've been punk'd	(54)
		When asked "Do you still think the Democratic race can be resolved before the convention?", Harry Reid replies "I had a conversation with Governor Dean today. Things are being done."	(170)
		Apparently Barack Obama is related to Brad Pitt, and Hillary Clinton is related to Angelina Jolie…awkward	(120)
(Politico)		Ex-president of Bosnia: "I was under the impression that [Hillary Clinton] had an agenda for her own advancement and I am not surprised of her desire to win the current elections."	(20)
(Some Guy)		Hillary says she misspoke about her Bosnia trip because she was sleep deprived. Must have been up answering those 3:00 a.m. phone calls again	(119)
(Some Guy)		Rep. Michael R. DesRoches (D., N.H., No-Show) resigns after 16 months in Congress in which he never showed up on Capitol Hill and never cast a vote. We need about 584 more just like him	(38)
		Hillary says she actually leads Obama, but first you have to throw out all your assumptions about math	(82)
		Old and busted: Eleanor Roosevelt. New hotness: Tonya Harding	(21)
(Some Guy)		Clinton: "I demand that Obama release his tax returns for... oh, wait, he just did? Online? He wants mine now? OMG that's so unfair"	(74)
(Some Guy)		After consulting her astrologer and her horoscope, and using a ouija board to contact Roy Roger's dead horse Trigger, Nancy Reagan to endorse John McCain	(37)
		For those needing a good, irrational reason not to vote for Obama: He and George W. Bush are cousins	(95)
(TPM)		Obama is up 21 points in another State That Doesn't Matter™	(131)
(NY Times)		John "Straight Talk" McCain has missed 56 percent of Senate votes this year. Upon hearing this, media bursts into orgiastic glee over what a "maverick" he is	(84)
(Human Events Online)		A shaky economy, high prices and overall impending malaise. So why does Congress propose to do to fix it? Raise taxes on every American by $3,000 and increase discretionary spending by eight percent. Jimmy Carter nods in approval	(433)
		A troop increase of 13 percent, paying Sunni insurgents not to attack us and Muqtada Al Sadr's ceasefire. Which of these did the most to decrease violence? We will know a little more soon, because one of them is gone	(432)
(Huff Po)		Forget Pastor Jeremiah Wright. Holier-than-thou Bill O'Reilly attended Easter services at a church headed by a former Nazi. O'Rly?	(515)
(kos)		In case you forgot, Sun Yung Moon is still wielding godlike control over about one fifth of the United States	(59)
		Critic spends 24 straight hours watching nothing but political pundits. The verdict? "This was the crappiest day of my life on Earth"	(43)
(Some Guy)		Caption this photo of President Bush and the huggable Easter Bunny	(140)
		Hillary Clinton suggests that if the federal government can find the money to bail out its Wall Street benefactors, it can also find the money to bail out families in economic distress	(263)
		McCain says despite massive failures in every aspect of our involvement, the U.S. is succeeding in Iraq	(58)
		Thom Yorke interviews London Mayor Ken Livingstone. Anything cute or happy within a 15-mile radius bursts into flames	(22)
(HyerStandard)		Obama girl is back and sexier than ever in new video, with a new message: "Get Going Hillary"	(111)
(Electoral Vote)		Current state-by-state polling shows Hillary beating McCain in the Electoral College. For all the Obama fans, click the "Obama vs. McCain" link on the map... and see why Hillary is still very much in the race	(215)
		And so it begins: Chevron in preliminary talks to tap into Iraqi oil fields	(109)
(The Huffington Post)		Hillary Clinton, who ran attack ads against Obama for not debating her in Wisconsin, is refusing to debate Obama in North Carolina. Apparently afraid of sniper fire	(118)
		There is an outside chance that Al Gore may be our next President	(118)

		Bhutan becomes world's newest Democracy. Of course, it's not a REAL democracy, because real Democracy can only be obtained by export from the U.S. or one of its factory-authorized dealers	(39)
		NY Governor (the new one) follows last week's admission that he cheated on his wife by confessing to cocaine and pot use when in his 20s. Next week will announce he raped an underage nun while clubbing baby seals	(166)
		Hillary now says that she didn't actually dodge sniper fire in Bosnia. Matt Drudge now passing out with joy every time someone says the words "Swift" or "Boat."	(195)
		When Sinbad says you're full of it... it might just be time to give up your presidential ambitions	(85)
		"You often hear it said that a politician would sell his own grandmother, but you seldom see this transaction performed, which is why I'm surprised Obama got away with it so easily."	(327)
		"I am trying to scare you to death" admits Republican Congresswoman	(141)
		Colombia: Yeah, we kind of did kill that Ecuadorian guy, Ecuador: I'm breaking your Xbox	(63)
		From the "With Friends Like These" Department, Bill Richardson: 'I am very loyal to the Clintons...........just not for this election"	(58)
(Newsbusters)		Chris Matthews goes deep into the tank for Barack Obama, fellow anchor calls him on it, he suppresses desire to leap through the camera and throttle the botox out of her (with video)	(115)