NPR runs series of interviews with conservatives, mystifying and appalling its upscale, liberal listenership: "The most interesting aspect of your series is why anyone with any sense of history would even want to be a conservative"	(47)
(Some Guy)		Clinton campaign now calling Obama too liberal, will soon question Kerry's purple hearts, Gore's robotic nature, Dukakis' patriotism and Gary Harts love life	(38)
(Some ERV)		Oklahoma House of Representatives passes bill that allows students to answer "6000 years" for "What is the age of the Earth?" for full credit in exams. Fark.com: Subby is not exaggerating	(232)
(Some Guy)		Bush's Energy Independence and Security Act would prevent U.S. from buying oil and gas from Alberta	(29)
		Howard Dean recommends a mail-in ballot to solve Florida primary problems, taking deliberate care to note that YEAAAAAAAAARGH	(188)
		The pet rock fad of 1975 is back, in the persona of Barack Obama	(92)
(Kos)		Turns out Hillary doesn't just exaggerate foreign policy experience - now she's taking credit for the Family and Medical Leave Act, signed into law 16 days after she started fluffing White House pillows	(191)
		Turns out that Iraq could pay for the war with oil	(133)
(DowningStreet)		Congressman accuses Bush administration of lying, coverups, and criminal activity. A *Republican* Congressman. No, not him	(64)
		Bud Light’s “Real Men of Genius” salutes Mr. Politician-in-our-back-pocket, John McCain	(28)
(Some Guy)		Hillary caught making a photo of Obama blacker... again	(46)
		Hugo Chavez makes first visit to Cuba while Raul Castro is in command. The two share some Häagen-Dazs, watch "Beaches" and "Steel Magnolias" until they're weepy, exchange rumors about so-and-so and you-know-who	(21)
		Hillary Clinton's campaign manager getting owned by Bill Maher, before "technical difficulties" *ahem* bring the interview to an abrupt end	(139)
		Margaret Thatcher is home from hospital after have some work done to her titanium endoskeleton. Expected to live for 128 years on existing power cell	(94)
(dkos)		Denny Hastert's old seat won by Democratic challenger. Will have to re-upholster to get that enormous ass-dent out of it	(57)

(Politico)		Clinton does have foreign policy experience, and here's the photographic proof	(58)
		Hillary Clinton maintains her presidential momentum by winning 3 of the last 5 state contests	(105)
		And so it begins: Republican Congressman claims that a Barack HUSSEIN Obama presidency would mean "The radical Islamists, the al-Qaida ... would be dancing in the streets in greater numbers than they did on Sept. 11"	(208)
		Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-Dollars) continues to clean up the corruption in Congress by refusing to divest in stocks that stand to gain from the Early Treatment of HIV Act	(38)
(Atlantic Free Press)		West Coast ports to be closed by Union on May 1 if no US withdraw from Iraq	(225)
		Barack Obama will review every executive order issued by President George W. Bush and discarding any deemed unconstitutional (which probably means he'll have to toss them all out and start over from scratch)	(125)
		Serbian government going out of business, all items 90% off, everything must go	(244)
(Statesman.com)		Not News: Texas caucus at small Austin district split evenly. News: Solution is to flip a coin. Fark: Girl does the honors, the day before her 13th birthday	(56)
		Thanks to the Pentagon's decision to award the new tanker contract to Airbus, and the fact that McCain helped make that happen, Washington just became a swing state	(131)
(Daily News)		Foster teen seeking delayed entry into the Marines has hopes dashed and loses $10,000 bonus because judge personally opposes the Iraq War and the US military	(113)
		Clinton retracts promise of not threatening to sue Texas	(201)
		Missouri lawmaker wants "Bud" to be official state beer. Also wants orange construction barrels to be official state icon and steel plates to be official way to fix potholes	(60)
		Nancy Pelosi wants Hillary and Obama to stop bickering or she'll climb a stepladder and whack them both in the shins	(43)
		For those of you playing "Democratic Presidential Campaign: The Home Edition", today move your game piece to Wyoming. Oh, and be sure if you had Texas in your stack last Tuesday, double-check your totals	(234)
		You can officially ignore that dream-ticket business, because Obama isn't interested in being VP	(101)
(King 5 News)		Not News: Clinton runs attack ad involving a "red phone." News: The ad uses stock footage from 8 years ago. Fark: The girl in the stock footage wants Obama to pick up the red phone (w/video interview)	(229)
		Teachers' unions are delighted that California cracked down on homeschooling. Because they care about nothing more than tenure--I mean, the children	(172)
		Hillary claims she helped broker Northern Ireland peace. Nobel Peace Price winning Irish leader who headed the peace movement says she served tea and walked around with Bill	(127)

		The next time you see migrants drowning out at sea, do not rescue them. You could be charged with human trafficking	(39)
		Bush to veto legislation barring use of waterboarding. Heard to exclaim "hey, what do those guys have against surfing anyway?"	(612)
(The Chronicle Herald)		Canada's opposition parties sponsor bill condemning themselves for losing election. In other news, Canada's Prime Minister perfects the old "stop hitting yourself" gag	(41)
(Some Guy)		For those of you who've worn out your copies of The Clinton Chronicles, this is for you. Hillary:The Movie	(40)
(995fm.com)		"I am a vagina-friendly mayor"	(128)
(Some Guy)		What's the best way to increase voter turnout? If you guessed beer, you're right	(12)
		Now that John McCain has clinched the GOP nomination he's decided to go off the crazy-pills	(105)
		You know that letter you got from the IRS telling you about your $600 tax stimulus rebate? Those letters cost you $42 million	(41)
		Clinton camp brags that just like Reagan in 1976, she can destroy the party's election and then win four years later	(70)
		And the presumptive Democratic nominee for president is... Al Gore? Bonus quote from a Clinton advisor: "It's the rational choice if this turns into a goddamn mess, which it could."	(83)
		Entire Virginia town forgets to vote	(71)
		"If anyone doubts that Obama's supporters engage in cult-like behavior, try pointing out that they engage in cult-like behavior."	(589)
		Hillary Clinton once again suggests Clinton/Obama ticket for the general election, in order to give Democrats the opportunity to cast a self-loathing vote like they're used to	(242)
		State ethics commission rules that state legislators are allowed to act like complete douchebags	(198)
		Neither Clinton nor Obama can win without Florida and Michigan re-voting. Problem is no one is willing to pay for it. Suck it voters	(264)
		"Mindless Republicans" responsible for Hillary's victory. Those Mindless Republicans are now forcing the Dems to hemorrage $$. Who exactly is Mindless?	(126)
(Washington Times)		Bill Clinton gets 200,000 shares of stock from Internet company for giving a speech, sells it for $3.50 a share although at that point each share was at toilet-paper value. Nope, no special deal here	(77)
		NAFTA isn't as evil as Obama and Clinton would like you to think	(92)
		Obama foreign policy advisor calls Hillary Clinton a "monster". Later apologizes to Godzilla, Rodan and Count Orlok for making the comparison	(538)
		Realizing his tank and thirty-seven troops will get crushed by Columbia's hardened army, Chavez calls for cooling tensions	(238)
		Obama proves he's all about change as he launches vicious personal attack on Hillary Clinton	(492)
		Ron Paul hints at the possibility of maybe ending his campaign. It's as if ten voices cried out and were silenced	(154)
		Governor Schwarzenegger commutes by private jet between LA and Sacramento every day so he can get on with the business of reducing greenhouse gases	(59)

		ABC News proves that all white Senators look alike	(48)
		Bush: America still not safe from terrorist attack. Americans: Thanks for nothing, a-hole	(700)
(NYT)		A list of the domain names that the RNC recently acquired, including gems like 'mccainamigos.com' and 'clintonlibrarycard.com'	(42)
(The New Republic)		Michigan planning to announce new caucuses in a few days	(269)
(HuffPo)		In 2000, a Senate candidate called it "frankly disturbing" that her opponent, Rick Lazio, refused to release his tax returns and even sent a man dressed as Uncle Sam to protest at his events. That candidate's name? Hillary Clinton	(97)
		Hillary Clinton spokesman says Obama is just like Ken Starr, except taller, darker, possibly more Muslim, and less opposed to blowjobs	(138)
(Weekly Standard)		Old and Busted: Civil War re-enactors. The New Hotness: 1968 Democratic National Convention re-enactors	(45)
(TPM)		Obama campaign now generating more income per month than most small countries	(74)
(NYT)		NC Superdelegate: “On one hand, part of me says, vote with the will of the people. And another part of me says, we’re supposed to exercise our judgment.”	(148)
		What's a couple of silly rules between friends? Howard Dean says that if Florida and Michigan can get their act together, they can re-do their Democratic primaries	(133)
(crooksandliars)		Bush reportedly considering firing the CENTCOM chief who is keeping him from bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bombing Iran	(156)
(Some Wonk)		US House votes on resolution "Condemning the ongoing Palestinian rocket attacks on Israeli civilians"; 404 "yeas" - guess who voted "nay"	(491)
(Hot Air)		The Times Square recruiting center bombing? It was actually done by right-wingers as a way to excuse a crackdown on dissent by patriotic progressives	(80)
(Some Guy)		Guess what? Obama is winning Texas	(112)
(The New Editor)		Rep. Emanuel Cleaver II (D-MO), on the Democrats' presidential selection process: "If another country elected leaders the way we do, we’d ask them to bring in the U.N. monitors."	(43)
(Some Guy)		Remember the whole "Obama has 50 superdelegates ready to go public and sing Kumbaya" thing? Obama camps says Brokaw is a filthy liar	(56)
		McCain trails Clinton and Obama in latest poll. Yeah, that Democratic Party is destroying itself allright	(98)
(Media Matters)		Fox News with the report everybody wants to know about: "Why was Senator Clinton holding a beer in her left hand when she's right-handed?"	(143)
		"John McCain isn't some Olympian hero. He's a Vietnam survivor who's spent the rest of his life running for office, but never actually running anything much except Senate committees and failed campaigns"	(181)
		For the first time in over two decades, Indiana matters	(73)
		Six months from the Presidential elections in November and Florida has already managed to bollocks the entire process -- now that's talent	(71)
		Top ten reasons why a McCain/Romney ticket would not work: #10 - McCain never tires of making “take my wives, please” jokes	(50)
		British Home Secretary will unveil timetable for program to track everyone in the country via RFID 24 hours a day. The first phase - foreigners and airport workers - will begin June 25th of this year and last through the 5th of November	(122)
(Voice of America)		Since OPEC won't lower prices, Bush wants America to "get off oil," give him a flying rainbow pony	(109)
		Hillary's new math problem. "Tuesday's big wins? For her, the delegate calculus just got worse"	(176)
		Limbaugh effect: 8 percent of Texas neocons voted for Hillary	(139)
(Talking Points Memo)		Remember that story about Obama telling the Canadians that his stance on NAFTA was only rhetoric, not reality? And then remember how Clinton made a big deal about it? Turns out it was Clinton who said that to Canada, not Obama	(125)
		According to CNN the Democratic race is still up in the air. Who knew?	(56)
(Politico)		Realizing that neither candidate can win without them, Superdelegates have started banding together to extort favors for their state in exchange for an endorsement	(47)
		Army Specialist claims he was denied a promotion for being an atheist	(189)
		Clinton's chief strategist decides that insulting half of America is still a good idea: "Clinton does best in the states that matter, the blue states."	(124)

		Uh oh... Obama's putting baby powder on his pimp-slapping hand	(182)
		"Election results don't stop Ron Paul Revolution." Sometimes the headlines really do say it all	(80)
		Obama to Clinton: "IRS We Can"	(103)
		Obama pulls ahead on the Texan reach-around	(182)
(HuffPost)		In spirit of professional journalism, Glenn Beck asks if Obama is the anti-Christ	(154)
		China increases military spending by 17.6%. Judging from picture, most of that is going for brass knuckles	(50)
(The Atlantic)		Hillary Clinton should take Pennsylvania because it's much like Ohio, except with more old folks, who tend to vote for her based on her punk-free lawns policy	(244)
		The UN decides it isn't worth the effort to send a strongly worded letter to Iran after all	(74)
(bigheaddc.com)		Chink in his armor? Obama gets reporter's name wrong then claims he won Michigan on Today Show	(89)
(Some Guy)		Kucinich wins Congressional race, will keep trophy wife for another term	(43)
		Senate Democrats propose lean budget reflecting possibility of recession and the war in Iraq. Just kidding. They increase the deficit to $350 billion	(149)
(journal-news.net)		Presidential perfume inspired by presidential front runners. Smell of defeat, shame, and triumph replaced with citrus, lavender, and a delicate floral blend of jasmine	(56)
		"Like a man bitten by his own dog" described Barack Obama's expression Monday as he faced the most hostile press corps of his campaign	(230)
(Some Guy)		Israel makes honest mistake, thought Condi Rice's "call for Gaza peace" actually meant "invade with gunships and tanks again"	(253)
		Clinton hints at sharing ticket with Obama	(317)
(New Republic)		Unsurprisingly, Democrats who decided their votes based on the candidates' gender favored one candidate heavily over the other. Ditto for the candidates' race. Surprisingly, it was the same candidate both times	(110)
		RON PAUL WINS his own district's primary and is set for re-election in November. Oh	(91)
		"In an effort to depoliticize the selection process" Boston College will not award Attorney General Mukasey an honorary degree because the school does not approve of his politics	(22)
(MetroWest Daily News)		There are many important measures for Natick residents to vote on, but the only one anybody cares about is a nonbinding question on whether calling sports teams "Redmen" is politically incorrect	(15)
		German military report reveals excess of porcine privates, lardass lieutenants, and corpulent corporals	(82)
(AtlanticMonthly)		Despite all of the "comeback" stories there may be about the Clinton campaign on Wednesday, Obama's delegate lead is virtually impossible for Clinton to beat even under best case scenarios for her	(341)
		Hillary messes with Texas, wins 3 out of 4 primaries	(1158)
		Australian PM says U.S. presidential campaign has "gone mad". Says best system is submitting to the will of mutant bodybuilders in silver hockey masks	(26)

		Super Tuesday II discussion thread, part IV	(721)
		Vermont town to arrest President Bush should he ever visit	(58)
		Hillary wins Ohio	(766)
		Super Tuesday II discussion thread: Take Three (Closed. See new thread)	(1303)
		McCain clinches GOP nomination	(116)
(Some Guy)		Huckabye	(114)
(Daily Kos)		It's come to this: Progressives accuse Clinton campaign of making Obama's skin look darker in their campaign commercials	(76)
		US Senator: "Pot makes you sell your children"	(97)
		Reporter crunches numbers, finds that even if the next 16 primaries are impossibly favorable towards Clinton she still comes out behind by 50 delegates	(65)
		Barack Obama has 50 superdelegates ready to all anounce their support at one time in order to put the nail in the coffin of the Clinton campaign	(87)
		Obama is a lock to defeat Hillary because Bugs Bunny always beats Daffy Duck. Ohhh, brudda	(63)
		Super Tuesday II discussion thread (CLOSED)	(1116)
(Politico)		Five reasons why Hillary Clinton could come back, including the "SNL" factor, the Tony Rezko trial, and her longstanding business contract with Satan	(54)
		Huffington Post: Don't listen to all that silly talk about the press being orgasmic over Obama -- they're actually heavily biased toward Hillary. In related news, let us reiterate that there is no such thing as media bias	(102)
		Obama claims the Sermon on the Mount authorizes gay marriage. Dude, that's not what they meant by "Mount"	(175)
(On The Media)		"The media will turn on Obama the day that Hillary's gone"	(115)
(Some Guy)		Hillary Clinton makes campaign stop in Waco, refuses to apologize for dozens of people her husband ordered killed there. Some people have a problem with this	(239)
(RADAR)		Rush Limbaugh did not mean to compare Barack Obama to the monkey Curious George live on the radio. Claims to know many other Georges who are curious and not monkeys	(997)
		If John McCain wins the 2008 presidential election, he will turn the GOP back into the party of Theodore Roosevelt	(95)
(The Local.se)		Sweden recognizes Kosovo, offers reach-around	(15)
		"One of the very useful things that the war on drugs provides is a dragon for politicians to slay. But they never slay it. "	(120)
		Hamas declares victory. Israel congratulates them, wishes them many more such victories	(545)
		Democracy means you can vote for anyone. War means you voted for the wrong people	(327)
		Obama thanks Japanese town of Obama for support. McCain looking for similar support from Dinosaur, CO, and Hillary from Grosse Tete, LA	(49)
		Condi Rice says there's still time left for the administration to have monkeys fly out their butts	(133)
(HyerStandard)		Hillary Clinton's Daily Show appearance bombs (video)	(205)
		Ed Stelmach wins huge in election: 11th straight majority Conservative government in Alberta. Voters outraged that Liberals were even on the ballot	(77)
		Obama shocked to find reporters actually asking him real questions rather than just basking in his aura. "Come on guys; I answered like eight questions."	(236)
		McCain, following his Iraq war strategy of ignoring overwhelming evidence, says vaccines are the cause of increased autism in children	(161)
		State Department approves oil pipeline from Canada, just in time for Hillary or Obama to screw the pooch	(39)

		Hillary (R-NY): McCain would be better than Obama	(156)
(RushLimbaugh.com)		The new official slogan of Rush Limbaugh: "We're already screwed: Vote Hillary"	(77)
		Governor of Illinois gives church a million dollars. Again. Because the first million dollars went somewhere else by mistake. In totally unrelated news, Illinois residents' taxes are increasing	(46)
		Castro blames U.S. for altercation between Colombia and Venezuela	(64)
		Congress is rethinking the embargo with Cuba, but don't expect a trip to Havana to be a prize on "The Price Is Right" anytime soon	(38)
		McCain says he's best prepared to deal with dead of night emergency then Democrats, stating that he takes his dinner at 3:00 p.m., is in bed by 5:00 p.m. and up and ready by 3:00 a.m.	(48)
		Dick Cheney's building his new dream house ... across the street from CIA Headquarters in Langley, Virginia	(39)
		Hillary Clinton on Texas primary rules: "I had no idea how bizarre it was, I've got people trying to understand it as we speak." Translation: "I couldn't campaign my way out of a wet paper bag, vote for me"	(127)
(TPM)		Bill Richardson, who couldn't even get CNN to put him in frame when the debates were 15 candidates wide, is the center of attention now that he's hinting at endorsing Obama	(29)
(Washington Times)		It turns out that Huckabee was never actually running for president of the USA -- the real purpose of his campaign was to make him pope of Jesusland	(68)
		Mike Huckabee: "I used to be morbidly obese, just disgustingly fat, so you can bet my barbecue ribs recipe is better than John McCain's"	(56)
		Charity begins at home: McCain (R-$20-32 million) made $950,000 in charitable donations from 2001-2007. All but $5,000 went to his children's private schools. No child's left behind	(110)
		Hillary Clinton tries to look more human by having a beer in front of the media. Later seen belching fire, bending girders	(331)
(Blasphemes)		Hilldog on "The Daily Show" tonight to talk about her SNL appearance	(135)
(Dallas Morning News)		Hillary's alleged new strategy for winning in Texas? Have her supporters show up to the caucuses early and take control of the sign-in sheets, locking out the more numerous Obama's voters	(277)
		UN poised to send a strongly worded letter to Iran	(129)
		Texas and Ohio may be voting the same day, but they are worlds apart economically. One state is growing and prospering, and the other is being strangled by its anti-business, pro-union policies	(264)
(American Chronicle)		Ron Paul's invisibility in the media: "If he was on 'American Idol,' he'd be making headlines. Most everyone in America would know his name. People would be spending money on cell phone calls just to vote for him"	(130)
		Gazprom, Russia's biggest gas company, is cutting exports to Ukraine due to "political differences." This has absolutely nothing to do with Gazprom's chairman winning Russia's presidential election yesterday	(31)
		Obama aides explain how the corruption trial of the man who singlehandedly backed, nurtured and supported Obama since before he even finished law school will only be a minor, virtually insignificant distraction not even worth writing about	(302)
		California Supreme Court begins long, hard, sweaty deliberations on gay marriage	(175)
		Mos Def most definitely supports Barack Obama's presidential campaign	(53)
		Hillary takes Barack Obama at his word that he's not a sleeper cell Muslim terrorbot. I'm sure he's relieved to hear that sincere defense	(137)
		With no other things to whine about, Democrats now complaining that Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper is "meddling" in their primaries	(117)