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Sun February 24, 2008
Canada.com Scary The United States and Canada have signed an agreement to allow each other's militaries to operate without borders in times of emergency and war (76)
CNN Obvious Barack Obama calls out the media, saying if he had lost 11 times in a row to Hillary they'd be demanding that he quit (46)
The Newspaper Scary If you get lost in the woods in New Hampshire you could freeze to death, be eaten by bears, be violated by amorous moose, or, worst of all, lose your driver's license (16)
BBC Unlikely Putin called "harmful to democracy" in recent poll of Western nations. Shockingly, polls of Russia indicate people love him to pieces. Irony tag deported to gulag (79)
(Some Obama Cultist) Scary Hillary, in a move that can't possibly backfire, mocks Obama as a crazy preacher and says she has lived too long to believe in hope or change (113)
Independent Stupid British police will soon be able to seize property from suspected drug barons - down to the rings on their fingers - before they are even charged for an offense. Lucky for them they don't have a pesky constitution to worry about (34)
Chicago Tribune Interesting Clinton spin: "Obama is all speeches and no substance" Reality: Obama's speeches discuss policy as much or more than Clinton's. Here comes the punditry (143)
(Perrspectives) Asinine It was patriotic when Bush said the army was "not ready for duty" in 2000, but when Obama says the troops need better equiptment he hates America and wants the troops to lose (121)
Newsday Sick Hillary "I love children" Clinton made a name for herself defending a pedophile by viciously attacking the character of a 12 year old girl (107)
(Some Guy) Obvious Man accusing Obama of drug use and homosexual activity fails lie detector test (58)
Baltimore Sun Followup Not being enough of a joke, presidential candidate Mike Huckabee overstays his welcome on SNL's Weekend Update set despite repeated cues to leave the stage (77)
Boston Globe Interesting Massachusetts to spend $10 million addressing homelessness by giving the homeless their own apartments, telling them to wait a week until stripping the wiring and plumbing for bottles of Cisco Red (26)
(Harpers) Followup US News and World Report had found evidence of a McCain-Ismen relationship last year (57)
Yahoo Obvious Well, that didn't take long: Conservatives say Obama lacks patriotism (304)
ABC News Asinine Last week: "give immunity to the telecoms, or they won't cooperate in the future." This week: "None of them are refusing to cooperate, but you're still aiding the terrorists" (75)
Washington Post Obvious When all else fails, Hillary highlights her record in the senate. Just kidding, she leans on her husband's accomplishments. Still no cure for France surrenders (51)
AFP Cool The Taliban says that if Pervez Musharraf steps down, they'll probably go back to being poppy farmers (19)
(Some Guy) Amusing Hitler and Frankenstein battle for public office, then it gets weird (23)
CNBC Scary The U.S. throws their full diplomatic weight behind a European energy pipeline that will reduce reliance on Russian energy sources. Isn't this how a Tom Clancy novel begins? (17)
Des Moines Register Obvious Clinton: "Don't vote for Obama because he can't win Red States." Reality: "Um, actually, he's beating McCain by 17 points in Iowa" (120)
NPR NewsFlash Ralph Nader announces presidential bid on 'Meet the Press' (1080)
YouTube Obvious Obama lays the smack down (262)

Sat February 23, 2008
YouTube Amusing Hillary goes apeshiat on Obama, calls for duel. With video goodness (402)
CNN Obvious Germany to recognize Kosovo as a country, stock up on fire extinguishers for their embassy (25)
Time Amusing Clinton advisor: "We need to make sure she exits with grace to preserve legacy." Hillary Clinton: "Obama is just like Karl Rove and Bush Ready on day one BLEEEEEARRRRGGH" (302)
AP Interesting F-22 Raptor such a hot fighter plane Congress won't allow it to be sold to anyone else. Aussies want it, however, and offer to pay full price plus a keg of VB and naked pics of Naomi Watts (94)
BBC Asinine Zimbabwe president Mugabe "confident" of sixth term, considering that he isn't running a "dictatorship" or "abusing" human rights or "anything" like that (24)
CNN Interesting Canada says it's troops will leave Afghanistan in 2011, in related news Canada has troops in Afghanistan (87)
ABC News Interesting Ron Paul could lose the primary race for his US House seat. A scream from basements everywhere is heard as moody loners lament the lose of their most recent raison d'etre (121)
(WND) Obvious "When the modern liberal whines about imaginary victims, rages against imaginary villains, and seeks to run the lives of persons competent to run their own lives, the neurosis of the liberal mind becomes painfully obvious." (255)
CNN Ironic Barack Obama doesn't care about black people. Wait, what? (74)
(Some Kos Guy) Asinine McCain '08: "NYT is a liberal hack paper, don't take it seriously." McCain '00: "We must attack Iraq because the NYT says there are WMDs there." Now that's some straight talk, my friends (50)
CNN Amusing Hasbrollah wipes Israel off the map (23)
(Some Guy) Amusing McCain has best fundraising day to date. McCain camp thanks NY Times reporter covering the candidate (17)
(Some Guy) Scary Superdelegates are jumping from the windows on the flaming Clintonberg into the arms of the Obamatrons below. Oh, the shrew's mad at thee (97)
Guardian.com Followup Pervez Musharraf, sulky after his election loss, retreats to his bunker with his stockpile of nuclear weapons nearby (10)
(Some uniter, not a divider) Interesting Hillary Clinton picks up key endorsement in Ohio: the chairman of the Ohio Republican Party (45)
Washington Post Ironic John McCain's campaign spending will be severely restricted... due to the McCain/Feingold laws (43)
AP Interesting Trouble a bruin as Alaska denies polar bear threat (21)
MSNBC Cool The Pentagon would like you all to know that Barack Obama is a lying liar. Trouble is, the Army captain from whom Obama got the story about soldiers not being properly armed? He's backing it up (145)
CNN Interesting The highs and lows of American revenue coll-- I mean, speed limits (28)
National Post Scary Russia tries to bring calm and stability to the tense situation developing in Kosovo. Nah, just kidding. They are threatening to use military force (94)
Newsweek Cool The Bush Administration is complaining that telephone companies are telling them to "get a warrant" to tap their clients. The do nothing Democratic Congress finally does something (170)

Fri February 22, 2008
Washington Post Obvious If Obama had been the one to lose the last ten primaries, the Clintons would be forcing him to answer tough questions about why he was continuing his hopeless struggle, but no one is asking Hillary these tough questions (112)
DallasNews Dumbass Conceited HUD secretary loves himself so much he plasters self portraits all over Federal Building's lobby (with video of bizarre shrine) (32)
Yahoo Obvious McCain/Rice '08? (119)
Telegraph Followup People who donated money to Hillary's campaign now furious as details emerge at how she pissed it all away on consultants and luxury hotel rooms awaiting her coronation (74)
ABC News Asinine Hillary says that Republicans will attack Obama for his ties to the Weather Underground, the same group which had multiple members pardoned by Bill Clinton (110)
(Some John McCrazy Hater) Dumbass Straight talk from John McCrain: "Bush should have vetoed budget bills." Real talk: McCain voted in favor of each of those bills (46)
(Think Progress) Interesting Sen. Tom Coburn (R-OK), admits invading Iraq was a mistake. But rest assured he will never act on that idea, will do everything he can to send even more soldiers there, and will compensate for having one smart idea by having five bad ones (46)
(Some Guy) Weird Australian Prime Minister skips parliament for a day, is replaced by a cardboard cut-out (6)
The Raw Story Dumbass John McCain tells campaign supporters that he is proud to have a campaign that is run almost entirely by Washington lobbyists (72)
(Weekly Standard) Obvious House Democrats don't like Republicans talking about ending pork-barreling. But rather than respond, they just shut down the website. Nothing to see here citizen -- just more free and open debate (67)
ABC News Followup SMU finally agrees to host Bush Presidential library, White House immediately starts transferring all the coloring books he has finished (191)
Breitbart.tv Video You may believe that Ted Kennedy has a destructive problem with alcohol. This video will not dissuade you of that notion (47)
Fox News Obvious Ah, the beauty of FOX News polls (last paragraph) (88)
(The Atlantic) Cool After raising a record $36M in January, Barack Obama on pace for over $50M in February (215)
(NY Daily News) Sad Hillary rewrites the Constitution (376)
NewsMax Interesting The Real Barack Obama (343)
WTOP Strange Arizona finally approves "virtual" border fence which has so far caught 38% of attempted crossers, which makes it virtually useless (69)
NYPost Followup Sex scandal article allows McCain to cash in with increased donations and conservative support. Mission accomplished NY Times (61)
Boston Herald Obvious Romney campaign officials are angry at the New York Times' vicious attack on John McCain. Angry that it didn't come early enough to save their candidate (14)
Yahoo Strange Obama wins 'Country Music Entertainer of the Year'. Wait, what? (38)
National Review Obvious Europe's slow motion suicide: The establishment of large swaths of European societies handed over to Muslim control and sharia law will be one sign (169)
(Some Right Guy) Obvious "The thought of voting for Clinton or Obama makes me nauseous. We are a nation at war with Islamists who mean to exterminate us. To vote for Clinton or Obama is to vote for the authority to wave the flag of appeasement or surrender." (258)
(Star-Telegram) Asinine Dallas police ordered to stop screening for weapons at Obama rally by Secret Service. After all, it's not like there's a history of Dallas crowds being a threat to young, charismatic political figures (82)
AZCentral News Rep. Rick Renzi (R-AZ) indicted for extortion, wire fraud, money laundering, hogging the letter R (53)
(Voice of America) Obvious "We have to think of another way to martyrdom, this time not by attack or assassination but by a doctrinal stand" Translation: We're fresh out of suicide bombers and RPG's and need 6 more months to reload (9)
(The Prometheus Institute) Unlikely Why local government is the solution to preserve American democracy (and society) (95)
The Raw Story Unlikely According to Geraldo, Obama's speeches are formulaic and and were dreamt up at a "black genius camp" (65)
DallasNews News Motorcycle officer killed attempting to bail from Clinton's motorcade to join Obama's (48)
(Politico) Interesting Ralph Nader has a big announcement for Sunday, and you can guess what it is by his press release. But can he pull progressive voters away from Obama the Savior and benefit McCain? (162)
ABC News Obvious Amid fears of recession, the rich are getting richer while the poor are getting poorer. Mortgage foreclosures rise, as does the demand for mega-yachts (53)
Telegraph Weird Cockroach walks across table on Turkmenistan's live TV news show. Country's president responds by firing 30 station staff. Fox responds by offering cockroach 26-episode reality show (9)
(Some Guy) Unlikely After elections, Pakistan sinks into mayhem. Chaos on the streets as violent attacks at an all time high. Oh wait, wrong script. Pakistanis enjoy peace after elections (23)
YouTube Ironic If Clinton's closing statement in last night's debate seemed a bit Xeroxy, here's why (286)
St. Pete Times Florida "Enthusiasm tops experience" - a microcosm of America. Mission accomplished (19)
SeattlePI Obvious Mainstream media loves to kiss up to John McCain, mainly so he doesn't snap and choke them all (54)
Telegraph Unlikely Hillary Clinton's desperate campaign staff open phone helpline where supporters can call in with ideas on how to beat Obama. No doubt you've got a few, thread voting enabled (454)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Bush says outside forces divide people unless those outside forces are in Iraq (24)
(The New Republic) Ironic RNC begs voters for cash because they claim "the liberal media" is doing the same exact thing George Bush did to McCain in 2000 (44)
Slate Asinine After whining about Obama's alleged "plagirism," Hillary rips-off a John Edwards speech from a few weeks ago (73)
Guardian.com Obvious "Somewhere in the dark wilderness of Texas, a car door is being opened and the lifeless body of whoever wrote Hillary Clinton's attack lines during the debate is being dumped in a ditch" (138)

Thu February 21, 2008
(Some Guy) Obvious Not News: latest poll shows Hillary leading in Texas by 3 points. Fark: She led by 16 points 1 week ago (205)
Wall Street Journal Obvious The New Republic: "The New York Times' sex scandal story about McCain is nothing more than smears, innuendoes and lies. And we're proud that we forced them to publish it." (84)
Yahoo Amusing Huffington Post journalist meekly points out that Obama might not be perfect. Enraged mob en route with torches, pitchforks (859)
(politico) Obvious Hillary is in the red, Obama is in the black. Bill? He's probably in the pink (88)
Reuters Cool Moqtada al-Sadr is expected to extend a six-month truce, cruelly dashing the hopes of liberals praying for more American casualties (149)
(Some BET Guy) Spiffy According to Rep. John Conyers it's not a matter of if John Edwards will endorse Obama but when (56)
Salon Obvious Congressional Republicans have reached such a state of deranged fever that their ads in favor of unlimited government power are now shot for shot remakes of "24" (552)
(Some Guy) Dumbass McCain legally ineligible to be President (169)
Wall Street Journal Scary Problem: You're a judge trying to force a reporter to divulge sources, but you can't throw her in jail. Solution: Fine her $45,000 and forbid anyone to help pay it. Nothing to see here, citizens (58)
Deceiver Ironic Did New York Times executive editor Bill Keller have an affair? In other news, you don't have to provide any evidence as long as you're "just asking questions" (162)
Washington Post Amusing "A two-dozen-piece mariachi band, Mexican dancers, a cowboy-cowgirl dancing act, a goth rock band..." Lone man in section 120: "We were expecting a little more." (58)
CBC Stupid City surprised to discover that it's not allowed to maintain a police database of law-abiding pawnshop customers (13)
(Some Blogger Guy) Obvious Think this semi-sex scandal is going to be McCain's only lobbyist scandal? Think again. Here comes the avalanche (96)
(Some Researcher Gal) Amusing Woman refuses to buy into the "Obama Hype," researches the track records of Clinton and Obama and sees... fark, she should support Obama? (179)
(WEAU) Amusing 21-year-old superdelegate that Hillary Clinton pimped out Chelsea for his vote apparently took the booty and left the rest on the table - he's voting for Obama (70)
Wall Street Journal Obvious Bob Geldof says George W. Bush "has done more than any other president" to end poverty in Africa, but Americans don't know it because the press hates him so much (154)
News.com.au Obvious The Obamomentum keeps on rolling: Obama beats Clinton two to one in primary for overseas Americans (272)
NPR Followup Other countries questioning Pentagon's motive for shooting down satellite. Pentagon too busy looking for tissues to wipe itself off to comment (237)
(Some Guy) Dumbass After all his complaints about being left out of Republican primary debates Ron Paul is now refusing to debate a primary challenger for his House seat (70)
(Wilmington News-Journal) Interesting Democratic politicians propose mandatory volunteerism for students. You can work it off at the jumbo shrimp plant or the plastic glass factory (369)
CNN Followup McCain Campaign angered by report of his relationship with a lobbyist. Also angered by lack of Matlock reruns, high price of gas, kids on lawns (289)
CNN Obvious Obama could feasibly win Texas. In November (115)
SLTrib Asinine Representatives from oil, mining, the Farm Bureau and an environmental organization testify before Utah Senate about wilderness use. Guess which one wasn't allowed to speak without being sworn in (51)
BBC Asinine Not to be outdone by CNN, the BBC delivers stroke after loving stroke to the peaceful, freedom-loving Cuban government (200)
Seattle Times Followup Monday: "For the first time in my adult life, I am really proud of my country." Thursday: "Yeah, those words I said, you misremembered them" (247)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Employer of McCain scandal-linked lobbyist takes down her Web bio, doesn't understand concept of cache, hilarity ensues (83)
Baltimore Sun Amusing Barack Obama pauses during campaign speech to blow his nose. Audience breaks out in applause. Now THAT'S impressive (851)
(Foreign Policy) Weird Sudanese official tells Condoleezza Rice to go and lick her elbow (20)
Guardian.com Cool Obama one delegate away from being 1337 (49)
The Raw Story Interesting Conservative blogger is proud to outline GOP attack plan against Obama (101)
(Some Guy) Amusing Michael Moore, attempting to prove his rationality, wants to bring Castro to the Oscars (62)
(Some Guy) Asinine Former AG Gonzalez getting speaking engagements for $30,000 a pop. As a special bonus, he compares himself and Bush to Lincoln. Justice at last -- am I right or am I right? (111)
(Some Guy) Followup McCain says, "I did not have sexual relations with that woman." Dude, you are 90, go with it (241)

Wed February 20, 2008
(NYTimes) NewsFlash John McCain in possible sex scandal. Republicans seen thanking lucky stars it involves an adult woman (671)
Yahoo Asinine Ban Ki-Moon reaffirms the UN's support for freedom of the press, so long as it doesn't offend anyone (111)
(Some 77 Percenter) Obvious Bush now has the lowest approval rating of any U.S. President in modern history (193)
(OpEd News) Dumbass Clinton surrogate says fellow Dems who support Obama are "latte-drinking, Prius-driving, Birkenstock-wearing, trust fund babies." Because ridiculing the members of your own party is a GREAT way to convince them to vote for you, huh? (197)
(Think Progress) Followup Obama: If Musharref won't act, we will. Bush: I likes me some crunchberries. CIA: We already do what Obama said and it works. McCain: Doing stuff that works is "naive" (117)
Time Obvious With the latest embarrassing excuses for their latest embarrassing losses, the Clinton campaign's spin machine has finally spun dry (76)
Wonkette Asinine Hillary's people resort to invoking gay innuendo. Will next claim they pumped a gallon of manchowder from Obama's stomach (51)
SFGate Stupid San Francisco mayor creates $160K/yr post of "Director of Climate Change Initiatives" to handle those rare occasions when the city is downwind from Berkeley and the clouds of smug drift in (52)
(Citizens Against Govt. Waste) Interesting Rep. John Murtha (D-The Slop Trough) named Porker of the Year for bringing home $149 million worth of pork projects for his crappy district in the poorest part of Pennsylvania (133)
(Hanlon) Obvious "Obama has outright stolen his campaign slogan. The tipster said that the slogan, 'Yes we can,' was lifted directly from Bob the Builder, a British construction worker who coined the phrase in 1999" (304)
CNN Interesting Ron Paul is in to win: "I will stay in as long as my supporters want me to." Both supporters heard cheering (96)
ABC News Interesting Possible successors to Raul Castro include Davila, Quesada, Roque and a Taco Bell Fiesta Platter (81)
CBS San Francisco Sad California Republicans protect their own. Take advantage of the tax "sloop hole" and buy yacht (39)
ABC News Obvious "Hillary Clinton is honestly hanging by a thread. Momentum is overused more than any other word in campaigns, but there is a momentum factor. And at the moment she doesn't have it" (95)
Guardian.com Unlikely Barack Obama's campaign today urged Hillary Clinton to bow to the inevitable and accept defeat (82)
Fox News Asinine Musharraf proves he's not the kind of guy who steps down from office just because he lost some stupid election (35)
Yahoo Scary Fed lowers economic forecast from "Doomed" to "Get your money into Canadian banks now" Eh? (64)
(Pittsburgh Post-Gazette) Interesting Pennsylvania lawmakers may look at privatizing the state liquor store system, the country's largest and most oppressive. Odds of it happening? As likely as a Ron Paul presidency (33)
(Some Guy) Asinine Guess who said it: "I don't want to go on a lynching party against Michelle Obama unless there's evidence, hard facts, that say this is how the woman really feels". Cue indignant fake outrage (572)
Kotaku Stupid Barack Obama taking aim at two deadliest threats to our children: Television and video games. Hillary says her plan to eliminate television, video games AND the Internet is far superior (154)
(Some Guy) Amusing News: Milwaukee alderman advances through primary. Fark: While in jail (58)
The Virginian Pilot Asinine Virginia General Assembly puts the DMV in charge of collecting state car tax. What could possibly go wrong? (33)
(Politico) Interesting Polls show Barack Obama is drinking Hillary Clinton's demographic milkshake (130)
(Politico) Amusing Well, you know, Jesse Jackson won 1218 delegates in '88 and wasn't the nominee, and he ran a great campaign and Senator Clinton's run a great campaign. She's a good candidate with good organization (29)
Wall Street Journal Interesting One-quarter of Texans are without health insurance, mostly because of illegal aliens. At the Democratic debate in that state Thursday, will Hillary Clinton be asked if her universal health plan will cover them? (161)
Yahoo Obvious NBC reprimands employee for Osama "error" (65)
(The Atlantic) Interesting What religion will dominate the future? The answer is none of them: Secular societies are becoming richer and more dominant. With handy graph goodness (220)
(newshounds) Obvious O'Reilly's complaints about Michelle Obama are straight out of the RNC playbook (230)
CNN Followup The various wacky ways the CIA tried, and failed, to kill Castro over the past five decades (186)
SLTrib Dumbass After referring to a bill as a "black baby, ugly and dark," Utah senator refuses to meet NAACP: "How do I know what words I'm supposed to use in front of those people?" (486)
Fox News News Pakistani president protests public polls. Parliament probably planning presidential parting. Penis (37)
Detroit News Sad U.S. Supreme Court rejects challenge to domestic spying program, ceiling cats (323)
(Huff Post) Amusing Obama: "If Musharref will not act, we will." Bush: "That's stupid." CIA: "Musharref didn't act, so we did" (91)
AP Obvious Make that 10 straight meaningless victories for Obama (171)
Guardian.com Scary Serbian convoy of 1,000 armed men cross the border into Kosovo. What could possibly go wrong? (86)
YouTube Video Texas legislator and Obama supporter gets asked by Chris Matthews to name one of Obama's legislative accomplishments. Supporter swallows hard, *crickets*, stutters, stammers, admits he can't. Bonus: given a second chance. (136)
(Hillary Project) Sad In her latest pandering effort, Hillary insults her own daughter's profession. Like a stuck pig in a dining room, this one just isn't going to die with dignity (124)

Tue February 19, 2008
WRAL Interesting "It's like making sausage. It's not pretty, but at the end of the day, Republicans will get behind John McCain." (71)
Yahoo Ironic Forty-one percent of Republicans believe there is too much concern for individual rights (119)
CNN Stupid By citing another example, Clinton campaign now says even when Obama does credit Deval Patrick for speech ideas, it's still plagiarism (40)
ABC News Obvious Obama, McCain win Wisconsin primaries (810)
CBC Interesting B.C. has introduced the first carbon tax outside of Europe. In 4 years it will add 7.2¢/L to gasoline, but it will lower the personal and corporate income tax rates to the lowest in Canada (43)
Forbes Asinine Louisiana lawmaker biatches about proposed $50 cap on meals bought by lobbyists. "'If it's $50, I think we're going to be eating at Taco Bell." (218)
(Some Guy) Asinine News: The "surge is working". Fark: The Bush regime is paying Sunni insurgents $800,000 a day not to attack U.S. forces. UltraFark: That bargain may not last long as the insurgents figure out how much of the cash cow they can milk (106)
JSOnline Dumbass Not News: Voter says " I don't want to see Barack Obama get elected president." News: It was someone who voted in the Wisconsin Primary today. Fark: It was someone who voted for Obama (77)
(Some Guy) Followup Will McCain have a senior moment? Will Huckabee strike down upon thee with great vengeance? Will Barry gain enough momentum from WI and HI to finally leapfrog Billary in Texas? Official WA-HI-WI primary thread (1183)