(Sam Stein)		McCain threatens Americans with yet more war	(185)
(Some Rev)		"The hard-core atheist, once a stock figure in American life, has gone the way of the freak show"	(171)
		Accoding to Hillary, Bill has been acting like a douchbag because he loves her	(58)
		Mitt Romney now: "I'll fight to save every job." Mitt Romney then: "I'll just turn my back while we're laying off all these people"	(28)
		Dick Cheney's daughter joins Romney campaign. No, not that daughter. The one that likes dudes	(25)
		Headline: "Iran Says It Could Attack US Bases" Article: "Iran Says It Could Attack In Self-Defense". Double-Plus Ungood	(52)
		Ted Kennedy er uh endawses Dewawhs, hawt broawds and Obamawh	(158)
		Bill Clinton tarnishes his legacy, loses his ability to distinguish up from down (w/ pic)	(90)
		The flag of freedom and democracy flies free in Russia as Putin bans main opposition in presidential elections. Stay classy	(65)
		Palestinians to Egyptian shopkeepers: "What do you mean, an increased demand means an increased cost of supplies?"	(206)
(Some Guy)		The three most likely remaining candidates after the next round of dropouts will be McCain, Romney - and Ron Paul	(103)
(NYT)		Caroline Kennedy, endorsing Obama: "I have never had a president who inspired me the way people tell me that my father inspired them. But for the first time, I believe I have found the man who could be that president"	(209)
(Some Guy)		President Ron Paul says there is a cabinet post for Dennis Kucinich in his White House, in foreign policy and civil liberty areas	(102)
(Some Guy)		Christians should fear a Christian nation	(106)
		The smiling general, Suharto, who ruled Indonesia for 31 years has died at age 86	(140)
		"In 10 years' time, someone will write a book about how brilliant and foresighted Bush was, even though that might be hard to imagine now"	(119)
(Some Obama convert)		For those who missed it, Barack Obama's fantastic victory speech from South Carolina	(215)

		"Bill Clinton is dividing the Democratic party and has helped plunge the race into a bitter feud, tinged with the poison of race-baiting politics. The winner of the fight between Clinton and Obama could be the Republican Party"	(123)
(NY)		Hamas's takeover of Gaza, followed by the outpouring of Palestinians in Egypt, might represent the end of the Palestinian State pipe-dream, and the creation of a new Egyptian province instead	(167)
(Lowell Sun)		If Congressman John Olver does not take action to impeach President Bush, Western Massachusetts may send somebody to Washington next year who will	(40)
		If Super Tuesday doesn't settle anything and neither Clinton nor Obama have enough delegates for the nomination by late spring, should Al Gore get into the race?	(48)
		With 0% of the vote in... Barack Obama is projected to win the South Carolina primary with 0% of the vote	(1393)
		Federal judge upholds the constitutionality of law requiring school children to observe a daily moment of silence to pray	(176)
		Philadelphia Inquirer endorses Obama for President, says Hillary is not an agent of change	(262)
		Hillary Clinton calling for delegates from Michigan and Florida to be seated at convention now that she's sure she'll get most of them	(72)
		Privatization of Medicaid plans at the state level has reduced the quality of care and increased the cost to taxpayers	(22)
(Some Guy)		They want Reagan (or Blair) but will probably get Hillary or McCain	(40)
		Americans rally at Canadian embassy in Washington to demand Canada allow hundreds of Iraq war resisters who fled there to stay in Canada. Apparently the U.S. doesn't want them either	(165)
		Bill Clinton heaps the praise on Obama. Believes he is articulate, compelling; attractive, successful	(57)
		British business leaders say London mayoral candidate is a "buffoon", but should still be elected, citing the incredible success of a certain president as evidence	(17)
(Some Guy)		Landmark Canadian court case will have repercussions for journalistic freedom and protection of reporters' confidential sources	(18)
(Some Guy)		Michelle Malkin does some "research," and finds that McCain is funded by...wait for it...George Soros. Is there anything Soros can't do?	(123)
		Voters, consumers, voters, voters at heart of stimulus plan	(79)
		Afghan President Hamid Karzai, forgetting that most of his country is run by islamic militants with decades of combat experience, admits "I am a U.S. puppet"	(24)
		Bill Clinton complaining about the race card is "like Obi-Wan Kenobi yelling at Luke Skywalker because he's using the Force."	(51)
		Whites fleeing Obama campaign like it was an inner-city neighborhood	(210)
		Romney ex-aide nabbed on sex charges. No word yet on whether or not he oiled his Mitt	(62)

		Obama's legitimacy is on the line in South Carolina, where a smear campaign has accused him of having black children	(30)
		"I'm not concerned about the voters." - Mitt Romney, former GOP candidate for president	(77)
		Donald Rumsfeld wants to create the Ministry of Truth, because sites like this aren't giving you the news he wants	(63)
		Palestinians: I'll see your water cannon, and raise you a bulldozer	(39)
(Some Guy)		With the SC primary tomorrow, John Edwards brings out the big guns: Ralph Stanley, "Cooter" from Dukes of Hazzard and Madeleine Stowe. LGT still-hittable pic	(31)
(All the news that fits we print)		The rhetoric is getting tough: both sides are now calling each other John Kerry	(20)
		Bill and Hillary admit "they might have gone too far" in attacking Obama, sincerely regret the "He ate a baby at a Voodoo Black Mass" allegation	(74)
(Rasmussen)		In return for his delegates, Obama may give Edwards the Attorney General spot?	(53)
		Endorsement from the New York Times called "kiss of death" for John McCain's campaign: "The paper is a byword among the US right for liberal, east coast, hand-wringing, politically-correct pinkoism"	(39)
(Quad City Times)		Iowa office manager says Hillary's people trashed the place they rented, plus Bill spilled bongwater everywhere	(70)
		Egypt desperately trying to keep rioting Palestinians the hell out of their country. Death to Israel	(95)
		Operation "Here We Go Again" about to commence in Mosul, Iraq. Soon to be followed up by the obligatory "We got Al-Qaeda's second-in-command" announcement	(298)
		You might want to put that vacation to Holland off for a few weeks	(46)
		After defying Democratic Party rules and remaining on the ballot virtually unopposed in Michigan and Florida, Hillary now wants those delegates included after all. What a shock	(145)
(prospect.org)		Massive Russian naval excercise in the Atlantic. This business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we'll be lucky to live through it	(60)
		President Bush broke the Republican Party into its three component parts, much like G.I. Joe did to Cobra's Weather Dominator. Now McCain and Romney head to Florida to battle over the Laser Core, unless Giuliani swoops in and steals it first	(54)
		African-Americans, stung by Bill Clinton's remarks, begin to wonder if "he's been playing [black people] all this time." Pandering in politics? Unpossible	(78)
		Obama's skeleton in the closet shows up in a photo posing with Clintons. It's good to have friends	(61)
		Add the Boston Marathon to the list of races Mike Huckabee is going to lose	(12)
		Yes Virginia, there is a Sangria clause	(94)
(some clinton)		Obama campaign has Carville and Begala banned from CNN, because the media has just been so unfair to Obama thus far	(102)
(Some Parent)		Obama:"Don't touch me." Clinton: "You touched me first." Obama: "You touched me first." Edwards: "Are we there yet?"	(45)
		NY Times endorses McCain in Republican New York primary, ripping Guiliani for "exploit[ing] his city's and the country's nightmare to promote his presidential campaign"	(111)
		Obama's doing a 180 on 527's after attacking them, thus making him a hypocrite. Buuut he's hopeful	(99)
		McCain's 95-year-old mom notes her son's doing pretty damn well considering the kool-aid-drinking wing of his party keeps trying to throw him under the bus	(156)
		Judge gives Bush Administration three weeks to explain destroyed CIA tapes before he gives them another three weeks, followed by a stern letter explaining how this "is a serious matter"	(280)
		Zombie president of Pakistan doesn't want his country flooded with delicious American braaaaains	(7)
		Scientists build synthetic life. Mwaaahahahaha	(173)
		Who better to head an advisory panel on arms control then the mastermind who brought us "The Iraq war will pay for itself' and "I like that the you have sex with me, want a raise"?	(57)
		IF Louisiana had counted all the votes and didn't change the rules at the last minute, guess who might have won a primary?	(80)
		FBI interrogator: Saddam Hussein pretended to have WMD, didn't expect Bush to bring the crazy	(97)
		TIME examines how an Italian government falls. Conclusion: Just like everyone else, but louder	(13)
(Some Confused Farker)		Presidential candidates say they're open to a national fund to make sure every American is insured. OMG, that's socialized, big governcent bureaucracy, tax and…. What? The GOP candidates? Now I’m confused	(95)
		Excellent CEO+++, would consider voting for governor	(13)
		Barack Obama appears on tonights David Letterman show to reveal Top Ten things he will do as President including number 8; Appoint Mitt Romney secretary of lookin’ good	(48)

(Some Guy)		Giuliani questions the accuracy of Florida polls because different polls have him losing to different candidates	(21)
		Washington Post, 2005: "We apologize for publishing a politically biased, inaccurate study by the National Priorities Project." 2007: "ZOMG--the National Priorities Project says the Army is falling apart"	(25)
		Bill Clinton: Hillary was responsible for the "Buy America" program when she was on Wal-Mart's board. And with a stunning success like that, the issue is therefore closed	(48)
		Floridians say "Fark electability" as Mitt Romney pulls ahead of John McCain in latest poll. A couple more weeks and Rudy Guiliani really will have 9 or 11 percent, depending on margin of error	(58)
(Some Guy)		Al Gore reverses his stance; now slightly wider	(60)
		Super Tuesday won't end presidential races...but Texas, Ohio, and Pennsylvania probably will	(36)
		Rival Kenyan leaders meet, promise to work for peace, go for 26 mile run	(47)
		Kucinich quits race to spend more time with his family. His incredibly hot, redheaded, gorgeous family	(444)
		Russia delivering more nuclear material to Iran in the hopes of distracting the United States from their slow move back to dictatorship	(45)
		Who actually won the Democrat's Nevada primary?	(48)
		Kid asks Bill Clinton "What do you do when you get married?", hilarity ensues	(44)
		Yep, pretty much everybody hates Mitt Romney	(90)
		Romney's campaign offices broken into; G. Gordon Liddy unavailable for comment	(24)
		America's Mayor™ on track to lose Florida as badly as he's lost every other state in the primaries	(65)
(www.pollsb.com)		McCain about Romney: "Never get into a wrestling match with a pig. You both get dirty, and the pig likes it"	(77)
		Utah House commitee approves bill banning ticket quotas. Opponents include assistant to Attorney General who once had police ticket his own mother	(8)
		The Colorado House has voted 62-1, to censure Rep. Douglas Bruce (R-etard) for kicking a newspaper photographer	(31)
(Bumpshack)		Rush Limbaugh is dating the much younger and sexier Kathryn Rogers. Looks like Rush might end up with another prescription addiction, this time to Viagra	(78)
(Nolan Chart)		Paulista convinced that Howard Stern, Rush Limbaugh, Michael Savage and Glenn Beck are all about to endorse Ron Paul. And he makes a convincing argument what with all the underlining, bold, and capital letters	(123)
(Some Guy)		Diebold, the media, the Trilateral Commission and Bill Clinton accused of working together to rig the 2008 election	(45)
		AP: Martians to interfere with Presidential Elections (See last line of story)	(37)
		Speaking to a Hispanic audience, Hillary Clinton tells them to bring their brooms and vacuums to help clean up the White House. But they don't have to do windows	(54)
(Some Blue Guy)		Americans resigned to the fact that every serious Presidential contender can't wait to fellate some really large corporations	(157)
		How the Super Tuesday states screwed themselves	(31)
		Fred Thompson refused to put on those dumb hats people handed him at campaign events ... and that's why he will never be president	(24)
(Politico)		Barack Obama: Hillary Clinton will say anything and change nothing to win the White House. In other news, duh	(79)
		This Sunday will mark the 10th anniversary of the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy. Celebrate by drinking the blood of Democratic babies and laying off some employees	(224)
(Think Progress)		Indicating that she is probably not a third wave feminist, Dana Perino declines to answer a question about the deficit by saying "Math is not my strong suit"	(35)
		Norman "I pray Bush will bomb Iran" Podhoretz is back and not about to let little inconveniences like the NIE report or reality stand in the way of his dreams	(297)
		Stimulus agreement reached. If you work, you'll get $300, plus $300 per child, up to $1,200 per family. Note: That doesn't include kids from a drunken hookup, your cats you treat as children, or imaginary alien kids	(1174)
		Elected officials: If you insist on keeping a paper trail of your sexual affairs they will be discovered, put on the front page and you will be rightly mocked	(71)
		Chuck Norris is too dangerous, and John McCain is too old. The Pentagon's newest secret weapon against African poverty is Bono	(10)
		Clintons accuse Obama of political hitjob. Now THAT'S chutzpa	(97)
		US law: The President may not enter into treaties without Congressional approval. Bush administration: Under this "Declaration of Principles," we'll support our Iraqi brothers, well, forever. But it's not a treaty, so no vote	(66)
		African-American Former President Bill Clinton, blacker than any other electable candidate, is challenged to a dance contest by Barack Obama	(80)
		Bill Clinton drops a load on reporters, dresses	(71)
		President Ahmadinejad to become first Iranian leader since the revolution to visit Baghdad. What could possibly go wrong?	(100)

		1600 complaints of voter suppression filed against the Clinton campaign for the Nevada caucus, included were instructions to the Clinton campaign workers that "It's not illegal unless they tell you so"	(160)
		South Florida rolls eyes at their crazy North Florida brethren after they denounce evolutionary teaching. "Evolution is 'going to be taught as fact, and everyone knows it's not fact,'" says one county school superintendent	(248)
(Newsbusters)		Those two nonprofits in the Bush lied study? Yeah they are funded by George Soros	(189)
		Confirming once and for all he is not running for President in 2008, NYC Mayor Bloomberg (I-$$$$$) says Bush's plan to put cash into voters' hands is a bad idea. No flat screen TV for you	(132)
(Some Guy)		Israeli Journalist gets butthurt over US candidates who don't want to pre-emptively strike Arabs	(166)
(Buffalo News)		Giuliani's "Wait 'till NY" campaign a rip-roaring success as he is only (nine)/ELEVEN points behind McCain there	(46)
		Shocking no one, Cheney says he wants surveillance laws expanded	(467)
(Some Guy)		With all the talk about how to stimulate it, you'd think that the economy is a giant clitoris	(90)
(Some Guy)		Mitt Romney claims that he and weirdo superstitious beliefs, are the best hope for our failing economy	(61)
		Estimated 2008 federal budget deficit: $350 billion. Assuming there isn't a recession, that is	(162)
(Some Guy)		Florida Democrats finally learn the correct way to vote. Unfortunately, those votes won't count at the convention	(41)
		Dems aren't thrilled with Bill Clinton. "Why doesn't he go sit down? It's like he doesn't want to let go. It's kind of sad. Bless his heart. He wants to remain the center of attention"	(183)
		The real reason Thompson's campaign seemed so lackluster? He never intended to be president, was just floating his name for the Veep spot and didn't know how to respond to the massive amount of support he received from the public	(54)
		Hillary Clinton will be in Philadelphia today to receive endorsement of Pennsylvania's governor. Will also have a hoagie named in her honor: Bologna with cottage cheese served on a big, wide bun	(42)
		The Romero Institute issues shocking report stating that President Bush lied hundreds of times preceding the Iraq War	(570)
(The State)		South Carolina's largest newspaper endorses Obama: "Hillary Clinton doesn’t pretend that [political warfare] won’t happen; she simply vows to persevere, in the hope that her side can win"	(215)

(Some Guy)		5 permanent members of UN Security Council draft resolution calling for tougher sanctions against Iran. We're getting closer and closer to that sternly worded letter, folks	(168)
		President Bush says he is optimistic about his stimulus plan, finding WMD in Iraq, bombing Iran, coloring inside the lines	(73)
(Samuel L. Jackson)		"Ron Paul can kiss my black ass" (Fark is mentioned)	(167)
		Bill Clinton says Obama's running against him	(236)
		Mitt Romney's Florida ad. "I'm Mitt Romney and I am a vote whore"	(49)
		Mike Huckabee becomes the latest presidential no-hoper to stop paying his campaign staff	(90)
(Hot Air)		That "chung-chung" you heard is Fred Thompson dropping out	(195)
		Several Jewish lobbying groups think that Barack Obama is not divisive and jingoistic enough to be elected president	(553)
(Some Guy)		Giuliani's official news service claims that losing to Ron Paul in six straight states means the campaign is "playing out the way we thought."	(115)
		"They're nihilists, Donny, nothing to be afraid of"	(43)
		Jonah Goldberg attempts to defend his disasterous appearance on "The Daily Show." Still no defense for trying to plug your book to the same people you purposely insulted with a dumb, inflammatory cover	(414)
		Public pressure forces Virginia politician who came up with the $3,550 speeding ticket to vote for its repeal	(32)
(Some Guy)		Mitt Romney did in fact tie his dog to his car's roof	(52)
(Some Blog)		Rush Limbaugh: "I can see possibly not supporting a Republican nominee"	(333)
		John McCain threatens to sic his 95-year-old mother on Chuck Norris for saying he is too old to be president	(100)
		Who is you daddy and what does he do? Mitt Romney speaks with the "Arnold"	(13)
		In an attempt to lure the caveman vote away from Mike Huckabee, Johnny Damon endorses Rudy Giuliani	(15)
		You think President Clinton and Dr. King had the same dream?	(48)
		Edwards: "There's a third person in this debate"	(71)
(NY Times)		NY Times election guide candidate page. Guess who's missing? Hint: 9/11	(59)

		Rudy Guiliani no longer polling well in his home state, now expected to get only 9-11% of votes cast, with McCain holding a 9-11-point lead	(75)
		Mitt Romney celebrates Martin Luther King Day by asking crowd "Who let the dogs out?"	(47)
(Some Guy)		Fark drinking game: Take a sip every time a Democratic hopeful invokes MLK's name tonight. You may want to call off work tomorrow	(832)
		Jim Clyburn to Bill Clinton: "Chill a little bit." Word	(40)
		Giuliani takes a lap at Daytona Speedway -- in his campaign bus. His lap time? 9:11	(26)
		Now that everyone knows that Ahmadi-Nejad isn't developing nuclear weapons, he's getting his ass kicked	(50)
		Homeless vet recalls happier times in Iraq, like getting drunk on duty with vodak his mom sent him disguised as Scope. His homelessness is Bush's fault, of course	(58)
(Xinhua News)		Greenpeace: whaling will hurt Japan's economy and ruin Tokyo's bid to host 2016 Olympics. Japan: Nom-nom-nom	(20)
		Gaza goes dark as Israel keeps its border crossings closed. If only there was a miraculous intervention to keep candles burning for a long time	(208)
		CNN on black women in SC: "Should they vote their race, or should they vote their gender?" Tag goes to anyone who votes based on race/gender instead of the issues	(87)
		The story of how MLKJ Day came to be. Also, the first time Ted Kennedy has ever got the Hero tag	(183)
		Ralph Nader contemplating ruining the US for another eight years	(412)
		"In the US, the alleged bastion of property rights, religion is robbing Americans of their birthright. Everyone is wandering around with a quarter of a million dollars of transplant material but they cannot cash in their chips"	(498)
		If Rudy Guiliani leaves New York City at 9:11 am, and drives his Porsche 911 to a campaign stop in Tallahassee (911 miles away), and arrives at 9:11pm, what is his average speed?	(35)
		Obama sets record straight on his religion: he's a secret Muslim operative here to destroy us all	(89)
(NewsBusters)		Hillary: I'm Grateful Bill is 'Passionate'	(14)
(Some Guy)		"(Hillary Clinton's) campaign says young women in particular are drawn to her candidacy" but that's precisely because they are too young to remember the Clinton administration	(51)
		Chuck Norris thinks John McCain will probably die in office if elected President. And if not, Chuck can finish him off by merely having that thought