Drew Curtis' FARK.com -- Politics Archives for '2007-12-23 23:59:59'

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Sun December 23, 2007

	The following is the gist of Tim Russert’s interview with Ron Paul. Tim Russert: Dr. Paul, is it true you once ate a baby's soul? Ron Paul: No, I.... Tim Russert: LALALALALALAAAH	(144)
(Some Guy)	Bangkok Post reports election ends in a Thai	(34)
	Nepal agrees to scrap monarchy and elect leaders with popular vote. As though recent American history wasn't enough of a warning about the dangers that system poses	(10)
(NY Daily News)	Hillary: Elect me and oil prices go down. And something about a frog in hot water	(29)
	"Are you telling me that we're gonna sit at a table and negotiate with those people?" asked a visibly angered Edwards, challenging the health care companies	(88)
	Richard Dawkins to preach atheism in the Bible Belt and the Midwest Methodists prepare to battle the "tool of Satan"	(68)
	Al Gore's inconvenient truth: "America is controlling its increases in greenhouse-gas emissions better than a long list of European and other Kyoto-signing poseurs"	(90)
	Decrease in violence in Iraq due to: a) Iraqis tired of fighting with themselves, b) the surge by American troops, or c) Iran reining in the violent Shiite militias it supports?	(60)
	Massachusetts learns that ordering everybody to have health insurance is easier said than done	(51)
	Mitt Romney's hometown papers look back on their favorite son and endorse John McCain	(7)
	Instead of endorsing a candidate, NH newspaper says just don't vote for Romney	(21)
	In order to protect consumers from greed, Maine will confiscate 60% of the value of gift cards that are not used within two years	(62)
	Bush concedes the CIA used "an alternative set of of procedures" on Al-Qaeda collaborator Zubaydah, essentially admitting war crimes. We now resume our 24-hour-coverage of Jamie Lynn Spears' pregnancy	(158)
	Romney compares Huckabee to Bill Clinton. Yes--He went there	(10)
	In a shocking twist of events, failed asylum seekers who were offered monetary rewards to return to their home countries instead pocketed the cash and stayed in Britain	(8)
(Courier Journal)	Doomed, scandal plagued governor spends 99% of emergency road funds in last six months in office. Why yes, he was a fiscally conservative Republican	(12)
(Some Guy)	"That the U.N. is corrupt and ineffective is an understatement. The list of illegal activities and instances of institutionalized bigotry would incite any governmental body with integrity to disband"	(65)
	That alleged pact between Obama and Edwards not to attack each other in order to take out Hillary? Yeah, that looks to be off	(24)
	Kucinich has the basement-dweller demographic locked up	(16)
	John Edwards says he will fight any effort to smear him, and can count on his wife and pregnant girlfriend to help him get through any troubles	(32)
	Rudy Giuliani says his hospital visit was a result of a “headache worse than I’ve ever had." Considering he had to deal with the NYC media, being married to his cousin, Al Sharpton etc for a decade, that says a lot	(33)

Sat December 22, 2007

(Kurdish Aspect dot com)	Another well thought out plan bears fruit: US military assistance to Turkey is alienating the only group in Iraq that knows their ass from their elbow	(36)
	Mitt Romney says John McCain "failed Reagan 101." Classes said to include "How to Take Credit for Ending a Cold War You Really Didn't," "Arming Terrorists for Profit," and "Drooling Jell-O and You"	(94)
	Hillary Clinton: "When I am President, I will work to protect children from inappropriate video game content."	(103)
	Mike Gravel covers John Lenon in the world's best campaign video	(41)
	The Democratic Congress didn't do much this year, except for throwing a few pro-labor scraps at its union overlords, which is good news for most taxpayers	(30)
(Instapundit)	Asked to pander to selfish, subsidy-sucking Iowa farmers, Fred Thompson declines	(50)
	If you're still torn about who to vote for in the primaries, just remember that Romney makes really good mashed potatoes	(11)
(Michelle Malkin)	Mike Huckabee may have effectively ended his chances at the Republican nomination by committing the worst sin imaginable in the eyes of "conservatives": He insulted Rush Limbaugh	(145)
(LGF)	How Ron Paul's supporters spoof online polls	(94)
	John Edwards sees economic slowdown coming, wants Congress to "invest" $100 billion of your tax dollars to create jobs instead of letting you keep the money and pay your mortgage	(62)
(Kos)	Everyone who has chosen a Democratic candidate can be happy, because they are all winning in every state. Well, Kucinich supporters can't be happy, but they are kind of cranky anyway	(14)
	Hillary Clinton makes final appeal to women in New Hampshire, insisting she is actually one of them	(10)
	Arnold Schwarzenegger, Congressional Democrats, and environmental groups would like to know why the White House, run by the "states' rights" Republican party, won't let states raise their own emissions standards	(56)
	Huckabee pwned by seven-year-old girl. "I thought he'd be reading at a higher level."	(54)
	The real Charlie Wilson (D-TX) was even more wild than the reel Charlie Wilson	(17)
	Tony Blair becomes a Catholic. Archbishop of Canterbury seen sporting steel neck brace	(21)
	Atheists and agnostics find all the presidental candidates distressingly religious	(265)
(Some Guy)	"Thompson tries to stay alive in Iowa" Wait... they kill off losing candidates? Suddenly this election got a LOT more interesting	(22)
(politico.com)	Religious groups giving money more to Democrats than Republicans this year, suck it theocons?	(24)
(WorldNetDaily)	Pat Boone to the anti-Christmas crowd: Yule get over it	(103)
	Senate stays in session over the holidays to thwart Bush, collect triple overtime pay	(39)
	Condoleezza Rice: "US has no permanent enemies"	(82)
	Catholic school board bans "The Golden Compass" for eternity	(52)
	Mitt Romney: "When we say I saw the Patriots win the World Series, it doesn't necessarily mean you were there". Or the superbowl either	(47)
(Some Guy)	Obama claims he hates British food. So do the Brits but they eat it anyway	(45)

Fri December 21, 2007

	Denver mayor appoints marijuana council in response to citizen's desire to reform drug laws. First item on the agenda: road trip to Dunkin' Donuts	(72)
	One-third of the women under 30 said Oprah stumping actually made them less likely to support Obama	(34)
	Mo Rocca (pic) in trouble for discussing waterboarding with media	(32)
(Some Moran)	Ron Paul says he's worried about being assassinated to prevent his presidency, just like George Washington and Andrew Jackson. Wait, what?	(115)
(Some Guy)	Mathematical proof that Ron Paul has already won by a landslide. Everybody pack up and go home	(103)
	John McCain angrily rebuts a Drudge story that he's done favors for lobbyists, says his record makes it clear he's never helped anyone	(15)
(InfoWars)	Neo-Nazi leader who recently posted allegations of racism against Ron Paul found to be a member of the World Union of Jewish Students. Something doesn't quite add up	(129)
	Administration lawyers to ask judge to delay his hearing into the destruction of the CIA interrogation videotapes, until the DOJ and CIA internal investigations are completed -- which should be right around Jan 21st, 2009	(51)
	John Edwards gets testy when Hillary Clinton suggests she hates poverty more than he does	(74)
	"Mike Huckabee has stormed to frontrunner status in the race for the Republican presidential nomination, placing the former Baptist pastor in sight of one of the biggest upsets in US political history"	(196)
	When Mayor Koch left City Hall he took some neckties. When Mayor Dinkins left he took some pictures and a crystal tennis ball. When Mayor Giuliani left the only thing remaining was the kitchen sink	(30)
(Daily Mail)	"The Surge worked. The Democratic Congress did not. Voters may notice that."	(256)

Thu December 20, 2007

	Jack Nicholson says he's an "Irish Democrat, I even voted for Dukakis, the true test of a Democrat."	(53)
(NY Times)	Giuliani headed home from St. Louis hospital despite blathering to nurses about being a lifelong Cardinals fan. 9/11	(58)
	Why our primary schedule is retarded, written by the last person you expected to write an insightful op-ed	(58)
(VNN through LGF)	Ron Paul: I have no links with neo-nazis. Neo-Nazi leader: Except for the fact that we all meet in a restaurant in Arlington on Wednesdays to discuss policy, Ron Paul often invites us to visit him in Washington and gives speeches to our members	(403)
	Here's the latest story claiming the upcoming presidential election is so crucial it will get pretards away from their Wiis and out of mom's basement to vote for Democrats in droves. Just like they did in 2000 and 2004	(48)
(Berkshire Eagle)	The article that led Bill O'Reilly to do this week's "Global Warming vs. Christmas" spot on his show	(34)
	Onion News Network: Should animals be doing more for the animal rights movement?	(16)
	"From the first days to the last hours of the 110th Congress, Bush prevailed on every Iraq-related fight, from February's resolution opposing the surge and to this week's granting of $70 billion in unrestricted war funds."	(207)
	Thompson pitches faster to Iowa voters, still can't hit the strike zone	(18)
(The Atlantic)	Ben Bernanke vs. Ron Paul: "I see a really, really smart economist responding to Ron Paul the same way you react to Cousin Mildred when she corners you after Christmas dinner to complain about the flouridation of the water supply"	(241)
	Southern Baptists v. the Mormons: A history	(72)
	Hillary Clinton tries to launch anti-Obama websites, apparently not realizing that unlike her own idiot staff, some people know about a little tool called WHOIS and see who they're registered to	(576)
(Hot Air)	Hillary Clinton's new ad is absolutely stunning in its return to 1970s liberalism. She's giving us "gifts" of huge government programs funded by us, the taxpayers	(149)
	Ex-CEO of Fannie Mae says WH documents prove he was the target of an Administration conspiracy to destroy his company. White House says they are too busy not producing documents in other scandals to respond to his subpoena too	(15)
	Holy DOJ collusion: Feds intentionally delayed prosecution of GOP NH phone jammers	(89)
	Clinton tries to melt perception as an ice queen by using her death-ray eyes on anyone who says she isn't all warm and cuddly	(22)
(WCBS 880)	Goodbye, Tom Tancredo. We never even learned who you were	(46)
(crooksandliars)	Do-nothing Democratic Congress does something: They allow the GOP in the Senate to set a record for most filibusters ever	(118)
(Boston Phoenix)	In his speech on Mormonism, Mitt Romney said his father marched with Martin Luther King, Jr. Turns out MLK wasn't the only one who had a dream	(145)
	Queen Elizabeth will reach a new milestone when she overtakes Queen Victoria to become the oldest British monarch. Evidently, she found out Victoria's secret	(20)
	More women come forward with allegations of being raped while working as contractors in Iraq for Halliburton/KBR, often finding themselves punished instead of their attackers	(68)
(Am Con Mag)	The magazine "The American Conservative" eviserates Rudy with its cover story. Bonus: The cover picture goes all Godwin on Rudy	(65)
	Website for reporting government corruption in China crashes as soon as it goes up	(8)
(My Fox St. Louis)	Rudy Giuliani admitted to St. Louis hospital for testing and observation after displaying severe flu-like symptoms. 9/11	(177)

Wed December 19, 2007

(Science Blogs)	Just when you thought you were finished with asinine and dumbass creationist news stories for the year, South Carolina State Board of Education rejects textbooks because young earth creationists don't like them	(727)
	From the "even a blind squirrel occasionally finds a nut" department: Much-ridiculed 9th Circuit Court rules man's probation can't bar him from enjoying a tall cold one	(92)
	The White House uses big, fancy, grown-up words to deny New York Times report that they knew all about the CIA torture tapes. Which probably means the story is correct	(464)
(Some Guy)	You never really know a presidential candidate until you’ve thrown back a couple shots of Jäger together	(20)
	Rep. Tom Tancredo will make a "major announcement" about his campaign tomorrow, possibly that he is dropping out of the race. All one percent of Americans who support his campaign devastated	(84)
(jpost)	"Palestinian" Catholic leader rejects "Jewish state," saying "If there's a state of one religion, other religions are naturally discriminated against." Like Vatican City?	(54)
(TPM)	CIA: Waterboarding an Al Qaeda captive provided valuable information and prevented future attacks. FBI: All information obtained from captive as a result of waterboarding was crap	(254)
(Via Huffington Post)	Sherri Shepherd, who's unsure if the Earth is round and is certain Christianity always existed, now concerned that she can't beat her kids in a "rich white folks' store"	(313)
	Bush now has over three times the approval rating of Congress. Suck it, libs	(99)
	Actual headline goodness: "Is It Sexist to Discuss Hillary’s Wrinkles?"	(175)
(Some Guy)	Bill Clinton: "George Bush Sr. and I are going on a diplomatic tour to restore America's lost respect." George Bush Sr.: "No we're not, and while you're at it please enjoy this nice hot cup of STFU"	(675)
	Bidder pays over $20 million for Perot's copy of Magna Carter. Magna Reagan and Magna Bush I expected to sell for much more	(66)
	Colombian Marxist guerrillas have said they will turn over three hostages to Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, because he's the biggest commie attention whore around at the moment	(26)
	With Clinton and Obama deadlocked in Iowa, and Huckabee and Guiliani tied nationally, is anybody else thinking "single elimination steel cage tag-team match?"	(80)
	Why America will never do anything about climate change	(439)
	Slate runs an article on how not to investigate the destruction of the CIA tapes. Which is odd, seeing as how we're already doing a pretty good job at that	(14)
	Romney goes on two television shows and calls for the creation of a government program that's already been in existence since 1997	(36)
	Magic Johnson campaigning on behalf of Hillary Clinton in Iowa: "You don't want someone young or a rookie at politics to be president." Lincoln, JFK grit their teeth	(53)
	Mike Huckabee on charges of subliminal cross in background of new Christmas commercial: "I will confess this: If you play the spot backwards it says, 'Paul is dead. Paul is dead'" (with video)	(111)

Tue December 18, 2007

	San Francisco Chronicle refutes the claim that Nancy Pelosi has accomplished nothing in the past year, pointing out that she got the House cafeteria to change its menu. Now that's progress	(43)
(Huffington Post)	Obama tells Ted Kennedy to stop acting like a douchebag and get some spine	(61)
	"Mitt Romney's eyes filled with tears today as recalled watching the casket of a soldier killed in Iraq return and imagined it was one of his five sons." Difficulty: none of his sons actually served	(102)
(Some Guy)	John Edwards apparently has two women for his two Americas	(532)
	Kurds, Rice, Turkey, food joke	(29)
	Ron Paul on the Huckabee Christmas ad: "Well, I haven't thought about it completely, but it reminds me of what Sinclair Lewis once said. 'When fascism comes to this country, it will be wrapped in the flag carrying a cross."	(115)
	Mitt Romney doesn't remember the photo of him at a Planned Parenthood fundraiser and continues to assert he is not the GOP version of John Kerry	(24)
	Latest national polls confirm that Ron Paul's support base is still just a handful of kooks and Internet libertarians	(256)
(Big Head DC)	Does Jesus Christ himself secretly endorse Mike Huckabee in his latest campaign ad? You decide	(55)
	2008 candidates asked to name their favorite piece of technology. Hillary: "iPod." Obama: "Blackberry." McCain: "The cylinder phonograph"	(49)
	A hundred green organizations and 10,000 political blowhards were in Bali trying to out-green each other, and all the while the conference air-conditioning system was spewing toxins into the atmosphere at a rate not even Al Gore could match	(286)
	"When Hillary’s campaign sputters and her polls number drop, Bill Clinton blames the media. One wonders when either Clinton will step up and take responsibility for their mistakes. Doing so would be really presidential"	(49)
	CBS carries a story on Ron Paul that doesn't call him a fruitcake or use the word buttload while telling people to grow up	(142)
(The Prince of Darkness)	Most Ethical Congress In History is all set to pass funding bill with 4x the 2,500 earmarks they put in last year. Republicats and Democrans play Santa Claus in December, YOU pay the bills later	(115)
	You know you've gone too far when even Catholic League President Bill Donahue thinks you are injecting too much religion into politics	(54)
(Think Progress)	$113,000 for “rodent control.” $975,000 for berry research. $825,000 for “alternative salmon products.” All in a day's work for Sen. Ted Stevens	(28)
	There were some who said Bill Frist was on track for the presidency in 2008. And then there were those that said by 2008, he would be pitching Coca-Cola from atop a Segway	(23)
	"Pork Vacation Tour" enables you to get a taste of monuments to government-pork spending	(139)
	Mike Huckabee's anti-drug plan: It's either a typo or pretty damn interesting	(69)
(Politico)	Democratic Congress buckles under pressure like the Yankees in the playoffs	(51)
	"When the chips are down I think democracy is a less important goal than is the protection of the planet from the death of life, the end of life on it... this has got to be imposed on people whether they like it or not"	(255)
(Right Wing News)	New Fred Thompson video: Kill the terrorists. Protect the borders. Punch the hippies	(66)
	It's called an "earmark" because Congressmen rip it from the budget with their bare teeth and feed it to their cronies raw	(25)
(Some Guy)	Bill Clinton said that the first thing Hillary will do when she reaches the White House is dispatch him and George H.W. Bush on an around-the-world mission to repair the damage done to America's reputation by the current president	(124)
(Washington Times)	Guess who 40 percent of Americans picked when asked this question: "Which of the leading presidential candidates would you most want to prevent from becoming president?"	(125)
	Family values are low on the 2008 political agenda, probably because America is increasingly becoming a godless haven for gay liberal Islamic-hugging illegal immigrant commies	(139)
(Some Guy)	County school board rejects evolution-only teaching. Says one member: "I'd probably ideally like to keep it all out of the classroom. If it's going to create this much controversy, how important is it?"	(805)
	How many British MPs does it take to change a lightbulb?	(8)
	Bakery has used its own dough to maintain a track through the village green for 350 years. It's was the yeast they could do. But some loafers must have complained -- now the parrish council is getting all crusty about it	(20)
	In perhaps the most stunning development of the political season, it turns out John McCain's daughter is really, really hot	(50)
	Vote on spy bill postponed after Chris Dodd shows the Democratic Party what it means to have a spine	(47)
	Finding he's dropped to 3rd place in a state poll, Guiliani decides to return to a familiar theme in Florida. Here's a hint: It's two numbers, the first between 8 & 10 and the second between 10 & 12	(46)
(IHT)	French President Sarkozy announces a plan to sell arms to every tin-pot dictator in the world, starting with Moammar Gadhafi. Yuri Orlov approves	(36)

Mon December 17, 2007

(kos)	"Abortion, environmentalism, AIDS, pornography, drug abuse, and homosexual activism" -- not just Democrat talking points, but things that make kids shoot up schools. So says "moderate" Mike Huckabee	(132)
	Today's headline: Judge rules White House visitor logs cannot be kept private. Tomorrow's headline: White House spokesman reveals that thousands of pages of visitor logs have accidentally been deleted	(50)
	If you're trying to scare Republicans to the polls next November, these are probably the two scariest words outside of "President Hillary"	(75)
	Fidel Castro announces he will "no longer hold on to power", will devote more free time to search for brraaaaaiiiiiinnnss	(185)
	How to make an over 200-acre public park disappear: Transfer the land to the City of Boston's "Trust Office"	(25)
(C-SPAN 2)	C-SPAN 2 currently has a live link to Chris Dodd's filibuster of the telecom immunity bill, where you will see that a real filibuster is pretty cool, but not quite as cool as "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington"	(229)
(Some Guy)	A short history of Libertarianism. Yes, for fark's sake, Ron Paul is in there, and that's probably the point but it's still an interesting read	(76)
	Ron Paul raises $6 million on Sunday, thus enabling him to move his eventual concession speech from the parking lot of a Hackensack office building to a Chuck E. Cheese down the street	(886)
	"The federal budget deficit would have been 69 percent higher than the $162.8 billion reported two months ago if the government had used the same accounting methods as private companies"	(227)
	Republican candidates counterattack against Huckabee surge, going so low as to call him "liberal"	(148)
(Think Progress)	Possibly the least intelligent Right Wing Media Product is "The War on ____", whereby white upper middle class Christians can feel persecuted without having to actually do anything. This week it's Tony Snow and the War on God	(766)
	PA state representatives are finding nifty new ways to give themselves a pay raise in spite of what happened last time	(10)
(Some Guy)	562 Farmers live in Manhattan, cultivating the land and weeding out the muggers	(56)
(Some Guy)	The article is on how Bill Clinton is stepping up his publicity in his wife's campaign. The lead picture says he's got other things on his mind. Rrawr	(18)
	If the old line about a conservative being a liberal who got mugged holds true, then GOP ranks in the House will be increasing by one	(151)
	Iraq complains about Turkey bombing. With Allah as their witness, they thought they could fly	(52)
	French President Sarkozy making it much harder to make fun of France	(139)
	Still no word on how many politicians it takes to change a lightbulb, but here's the 10-point plan they must follow when they do	(7)
	Report states that two of Norway's top Defense figures got free trips to sex clubs in Amsterdam. What kind of benefits does YOUR job offer?	(97)
(Think Progress)	Now it can be told: Keith Olbermann almost left MSNBC because of Michael Savage and his "splattering invective"	(214)
(Some Guy)	Chris Dodd is looking for something to read during a fillibuster. What should he read? (Voting enabled)	(79)
	Mike Huckabee's son is a fatter, whiter, balder Michael Vick	(310)
	New Aussie PM announces "I don't want to whip it - I just want to stroke it gently." Boom-chucka-wa-wa	(10)
(Some Guy)	A focus on commas may be the death knell for gun rights in America	(206)
	Hillary Clinton invites voters to "inspect" her	(32)
	9/11 changed everything? Apparently not: Bush sought to implement domestic spying plan two weeks after taking office	(89)
(Brave New Films)	Scare-mongering ad of GOP Presidential wannabe Tom Tancredo scares fark out of 5th-grade boy--and Tancredo defends such "winning of hearts and minds"	(33)
	Obama says he tried the Muslim religion, but that he did not inhale	(27)
	DINO, meet RINO: Joe Lieberman endorses John McCain. It's a match made in heaven	(38)
(Hot Air)	Mitt Romney wants to ban guns that can kill with "unusual lethality"	(75)
(Some Guy)	Turkey bombing in northern Iraq. Les Nessman reportedly en route	(19)
	Violence in Iraq is at lowest levels since the invasion. Accounting for liberal media bias, Iraq is actually a utopia: the streets are paved with gold and children play in fields of flowers while singing songs praising Uncle Sam	(52)