Polls in Pakistan suggest that Bin Laden is more popular than many of the Muslim nation's politicians	(16)
		Texas makes its state pledge mandatory for schools 70 years after its inception. Oh and they added the phrase "one state under God" for good measure	(61)
		Hillary Clinton says she can appeal to GOP voters. She owes submitter a new keyboard	(84)
		America to move closer to having its own Foreign Legion as Senate will debate bill offering U.S. citizenship to illegal aliens who enlist in army	(46)
		"If you choose to come to a place like Canada, then shut up and fit in. There is the door. If you don't like the rules, hit it. We don't need you here. You have another place to go. It's called home. See ya"	(73)
		Romney challenges the GOP to kick out all the crooks, creeps, and kiddy diddlers. In other words, everyone	(28)
(AOL News)		Mike Gravel is one HELL of a senator	(28)
(NY Times)		Presidential candidates taking full disclosure to levels that would've made JFK blush	(7)
		Pope warns unbridled capitalism widens gap between rich and poor, threatens the planet and produced Donald Trump's hair	(56)
		Nope. No liberal bias in the media here. Please move on...nothing here to see	(111)
(Some Guy)		Before Hillary breaks her arm patting herself on the back for her health-care plan, she might want to see how a similar plan is working in California. The phrase "not even a little bit" leaps to mind	(34)
(harpers)		New scandal cracking: Bush DOJ pursued political harassment of Edwards, Hillary	(60)
		When you're sending an e-mail inviting people to your "Republican Professionals" get-together you should make sure that you've spelled the name of your guest speaker right *before* sending your e-mail	(17)
(NY Daily News)		Making sure he endears himself to open minded and loving New Yorkers, Iran's Ahmadinedumbass begins his trip to the US by demanding death to America and Israel	(80)
(Some Guy)		Millions are alive tonight thanks to one man's decision 24 years ago	(97)
		Iraq occupation costing taxpayers over $8,000 per second. But that's a "small price"	(181)
		Iraqi investigators in possession of videotape that shows Blackwater USA guards opening fire against civilians without provocation in an incident last week in which 11 people died	(284)
(Charleston.net)		Newspaper liberal bias about as real as Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster and Britney Spears' rehab	(56)
		Japan picks Farkuda as new PM. Hey, that's not what I typed	(65)

		You're the president of Iran and about to visit the US. Do you A. Turn on your e-mail autoreply? B. Pack? C. Make a "Great Satan" speech so everyone will be really pissed at you when you arrive?	(36)
		Obama announces fix for Social Security but anyone making more than $97,000 a year is going to hate it. Suck it rich people	(158)
		Columbia University, one of the world's finest institutions of higher learning, says that they would have invited Hitler to speak at an open forum but they were told he was too busy with Poland	(64)
		Christian right is planning a comeback. From a trailer. In Florida	(52)
		Bloc Quebecois threatens to topple Canadian government over the sort of stupid crap that not even Canadians care about	(49)
(Haaretz)		Iran asks IAEA to inspect the nuclear weapons that Israel does not and has never possessed	(110)
(Media Matters)		Bill O'Reilly stunned that black-owned restaurants can be the same as white-owned restaurants	(373)
		The Guiliani campaign would like you to know that the cell phone call Guiliani took from his wife while giving a speech to the NRA was completely unscripted	(30)
		Baptist preacher says installing foot sinks in airports will appease anti-American Muslims while offending real patriots	(115)
		Conservative pundit wants to remind you that anyone who is poor is just lazy, and that Democrats exist to exploit them	(176)
		In keeping with his Bizarro-world underrstanding of English language, Bush calls Democrats "irresponsible" for trying to expand health insurance for children	(143)
		Disgraced fundraiser apparently attempted Hsuicide	(22)
		Good: Feds finally figure out who's supplying weapons to Al-Quaeda in Iraq. Fark: It's the people who're supposed to be defending us from Al-Quaeda in Iraq	(54)
		France's Socialists say President Nicolas Sarkozy has "small man syndrome", Apparently Socialists have never heard of some guy who nearly conquered the entire world	(35)
		Rudy asks, "Crime problem in NYC? What crime problem in NYC?" while at an NRA meeting to renounce that anti-gun thingymawatchit	(43)
		Governor of Alaska cancels infamous "Bridge to Nowhere" pork barrel project. Sen. Ted Stevens quickly begins lobbying for his next pet project, the "Road Never Traveled"	(23)
(Some Guy)		Katherine Harris tells Christian audience to read conservative blogs online instead of newspapers if they want to stay educated on current events. Receives standing ovation	(54)

		Dear liberal media: If someone says "Where's Mandela? Saddam Hussein killed all the Mandelas," he might be using what we adults call a "metaphor," and not referring to the original Nelson Mandela	(337)
(Weekly Standard)		Champion of diversity, Columbia University, to welcome homophobe, anti-Semite Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad	(82)
		As Giuliani claims that 0 - 1 = 2, Thompson and Romney argue over who wants more influence of money in politics. Common sense takes the primary season off	(15)
		Giuliani proposes to pay for tax cuts with additional tax cuts. Arithmetic surrenders	(109)
		How the South conquered America, then threw it all away	(417)
		Supply-side economics works. "Total revenues have far surpassed the 2000 peak at lower marginal tax rates. Since the mid-2003 tax cuts, revenues have grown by 45%, averaging almost 10% per year since 2003."	(131)
		John Grisham says Bush administration is full of "bad people with evil intent." And he knows evil, since he's written so many books about lawyers	(29)
		Bill Clinton says he would be delighted to take his proper place as First Husband in his wife's shadow, and... just kidding. He says if Hillary wins, he'll slit his throat. No, really	(318)
		Rep. (Ron) Paul believes, correctly, that the Bible is the infallible, inerrant word of God and thus it is not the role of God-ordained civil government, at any level, to feed, house, clothe or educate anybody. Suck it, lib(ertarian)s	(197)
(Zee News)		Hillary Clinton is not a lesbian	(61)
(Daily Times)		French president thinks Turkey belongs on the dinner table, not in the EU	(34)
(Some Guy)		Columbia University rejects ROTC because the military doesn't allow gays. But the university will meet with Iranian president even though Iran criminalizes homosexuality and hangs gays	(135)
(Crooks & Liars)		Olberman goes ballistic on Bush. Again. This is not a repeat (with video)	(159)
(Some Damn Hippie Guy)		Today is the International Day of Peace, so try not to smash anybody in the pie hole for the next 24 hours	(85)
		Rugged Texan George Bush "is afraid of horses"	(234)
		Good news: In the next decade, there will be cures for HIV/AIDS, tuberculosis and malaria	(152)

(TPM)		Senator Stevens on tape in an FBI sting. Tubes set me up	(57)
		Bush wants to lower taxes on cigarettes and take away healthcare from four million children. Look, Fox News, I can do it too	(148)
		Agriculture secretary to step down. Bush seeking applicants for the job. Must be able to bend over for Congress and ADM at the same time	(42)
		Not news: President flies from NYC to Washington, D.C. News: It's President Lincoln	(10)
(Some Ineffective Whiners)		Unable to pass any meaningful or significant legislation, the Senate votes to condemn ads that hurt their feelings	(58)
		Aussie PM's house listed for sale at a very fair $15	(35)
(americanthinker)		Town charter used to say, "we consider it unacceptable to stone women to death" but they took that part out because it was "anti-Muslim"	(86)
		"People ask me, where's (Nelson) Mandela? Well, Mandela's dead. Because Saddam killed all the Mandelas"	(72)
		Hsu to be laced with federal campaign finance and fraud charges	(30)
		In a stunning example of cognitive dissonance, Bush scolds congress for not passing a bill that provides health coverage to children, while at the same time threatening to veto the bill congress is writing to provide healthcare to children	(241)
		Newt Gingrich says he'll run if voters give him $30 million. I wonder what it would cost us to get him NOT run?	(45)
		Fred Thompson will not get support from Religious Right leader. Some people actually see this as a bad thing	(98)
		Asked if the U.S. should have invaded Iraq, Defense Secretary Gates admits, "I don't know." Refreshing honesty or just depressing?	(67)
		China threatens U.S. Congress with a dollar sell-off if tariffs are imposed. And so it begins	(145)
(The Politico)		Hillary Clinton is a Farker	(51)
		Peruvian meteor was actually U.S. spy satellite, brought down by splinter faction of the U.S. military. Pravda is there	(85)
(FT)		U.S. monopoly regulator is upset about one of their monopolies getting fined for being a monopoly	(18)
		Jimmy Carter doesn't think Iran is a threat to Israel. Whew, glad that's settled	(164)
		Jesse Jackson backs off from comment that Barack Obama is "acting like he's white," possibly after someone points out to Jesse that men should be judged, not by the color of their skin, but the content of their character	(478)
(Townhall)		The Democratic Party treats America's hard working doctors like members of the Klu Klux Klan, while simultaneously embracing the bloodsucking lawyers who contribute nothing to society	(152)
(Kottke)		Now that the NY Times has freed up its archives, you could blow weeks just poking around. Women, minorities hardest hit	(9)
		Elizabeth Edwards says Hillary Clinton plagiarized her husbands healthcare plan. Carlos Mencia chuckles	(91)
		Democrats: "Our soldiers are tired. Demoralized. They need more rest between deployments. Let's pass this bill." Republicans: "What are you talking about? We talk about the war every day. We're not tired. Man up."	(155)
		Bush feels he knows more about the economy then Greenspan	(88)
(Townhall)		A frank and rational opinion piece on why the decimation of the American Indian population was not genocide	(466)
(The Penisula)		New Polish women's political party is releasing nude posters of their female candidates for the upcoming parliamentary election. Camp Hillary orders immediate public opinion poll on landing-strip versus Brazilian	(105)
		Giuliani to Moveon.org: "Please, attack me more, you leftist nutbars. You're helping me to win the primaries"	(50)
		Democrats say Sen. Collins broke two-term pledge. No word how they feel about the success of their own 'Things will suck less with us' pledge	(32)

(JPost)		A country is caught smuggling nuclear materials and pointing chemical weapons toward another country. If you're the UN, do you A) Reprimand them? B) Put them under sanctions? C) Put them in charge of the investigation about Iran's nukes?	(131)
		The Department of Health and Human Services is expanding its charter to become the Department of Telling You What Kind of Car to Buy Unless You WANT to Rape the Planet	(36)
		Giuliani wants Israel, Japan, Australia, India and Singapore admitted to the North Atlantic Treaty Organization. The NORTH ATLANTIC Treaty Organization. The NORTH- ah, fark it	(92)
(Some Randoid)		Alan Greenspan admits on "The Daily Show" that there is no free market. Ayn Rand weeps	(159)
		It has come to this: Senate Republicans sucessfully filibustered a "The Habeas Corpus Restoration Act," because in the words of one senator "[it] would be an absolute disaster for this country"	(97)
		Liberals force Library of Congress to remove stories of Medal of Honor winners. You support the troops though, right?	(71)
(Some Guy)		1920s prediction: "The presidency tends, year by year, to go to such men who are intrinsically the most devious and mediocre. On some great and glorious day the White House will be adorned by a downright moron."	(71)
		On today's episode of "I'm Fred Thompson, and I'm a Dick," Fred wants to drill in the Florida Everglades	(69)
		Bush thanks Congress for the inch of spy law expansion they gave him in August, says he'll take that mile now anytime	(30)
		Israel was all like, "you're going down," and Iran was like, "bring it." But America wouldn't take any of that sass	(504)
		Bush and Congress both hit lowest ever approval rates in new poll. And as low as Bush's approval is, it's almost three times higher than that of Congress, which is now less popular than getting a kick in the sack	(317)
		Jesse Jackson keeps it real by whining that Barack Obama is not black enough	(348)
		The federal government needs a credit line increase, as it is about to hit its current debt limit of $8.965 TRILLION	(152)
		Bush Administration once again fixes an enviromental issue by having it swept under the rug. See any issue? Because I don't see no issue no more and please never mind those pesky contradicting facts	(28)
		"In the name of Jesus, get out!" Notable presidential hecklers	(16)
		Larry Craig gets mixed reaction upon returning to the Senate. Some senators welcomed him, while others maintained a wide stance	(118)
		Condi to pope: "We have to meet before my Middle East trip to boost my diplomatic credit." Pope to Condi: "Suck it"	(50)
(FMQB)		New House Indecency Bill introduced, would require the FCC to take action over any single word or image deemed "indecent."	(395)
		Government offers parents $1000 for every baby born or adopted in Newfoundland. Residents of Come by Chance rejoice. Those living in Dildo, not so much	(24)
(The Hill)		Senators Stevens and Byrd (different parties, same slop-encrusted snouts) lead the way in defense pork	(54)
(Some Guy)		After receiving endorsements of Norman Hsu, Jenna Jameson, and Larry Flynt; Hillary pick up another key endorsement -- O.J. Simpson	(25)
		News: Amnesty bill is back. A twist: Only for those who had smuggled a child across the border. Fark.com: The child can be 45, would get in-state tuition and the whole thing is buried in a Defense Authorization bill	(470)
(Some Guy)		Illegal North Korean nukes, in my Syria? Its more likely than you think	(208)
		Former Governor Jeb Bush hammers current Governor Crist for not properly kowtowing to insurance companies	(34)
(Some Guy)		Alicia Silverstone is the latest poster girl for Protesters Exposing T & A (PETA)	(85)
		Just when Petraeus says the surge is working...	(148)
		U.S. spy chief says that he would have pulled Pedro Martinez in the eighth inning, switched Coke to Pepsi and could have prevented 9/11. Behold, the Messiah	(29)
		U.S. Air Force Cyber Command goes online Tuesday. System expected to learn at a geomeric rate, become self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th	(34)
		Republican senators to Washington D.C.: "No, you cannot have representation with taxation. Not yours. Suck it"	(158)

		Russia and China 'spying on US' at close-to-Cold-War levels	(47)
(Victory Caucus)		Pro-war blogger reports that, in a meeting with pro-war bloggers, Bush expressed a desire to serve on the ground in Iraq, but he is too old and might get noticed	(49)
		Obama wants to cut $80 billion in taxes and he looks damn good doing it	(96)
		Hillary envisions a day when "You have to show proof to your employer that you're insured as a part of the job interview." Bill can't wait for the mandatory prostate checks every six months	(58)
		When's the last time you saw a "green" politician take the bus?	(64)
(Some Guy)		UF student who was tasered at John Kerry speech was known around Gainesville as attention whore -- once stood on busy street corner with sign reading "Harry Potter Dies" on release date of "Deathly Hallows"	(307)
(The Free Press)		Fiscally responsible Republicans in Ohio save taxpayers $1.8 million, by blocking a proposal to test hackable voting machines	(92)
		Polls show everyone loves the new and improved HillaryCare II	(59)
		James Dobson's "Focus on the Family" endorses recent pseudoscientific study claiming it's possible to make gays straight through religious mediation	(638)
(ThinkProgress)		Senators Dodd and Leahy introduce Habeas Corpus Restoration Act	(157)
		Forty-nine percent of Americans forget America is a free country; say celebrities should not be allowed to participate in the political process	(66)
		Oscar-winning documentary. Emmy for his cable channel. A possible Peace Prize. What's next for Al Gore? The Grammys	(67)
		While the Iraqi government has revoked Blackwater's operating license and wants them to leave, the U.S. government may be too reliant on them to let that happen	(62)
(NY Sun)		You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. New Yorkers must be cautious -- yep, the UN is back in session	(32)
		Clinton pulls out her overpriced mandatory health care insurance plan. Fatties and smokers wheeze in happiness while the old break a hip jumping for joy. The rest of us are crying	(367)
(New World Notes)		News: Labor unions protest IBM paycut. Fark: Protest to happen on IBM's virtual world campus with pro-union avatars waving signs	(17)
(Michelle Malkin)		A little more background on what lead up to the UF student getting tased. Seems like the first article did not paint a complete picture	(134)
		Sleazy political attack ad warns voters not to entrust power to a mysterious, insider group known as "electors." In other news, my opponent is a shameless extrovert and his sister is a notorious thespian in New York City	(18)
		FU student gets too excited at John Kerry speech, gets tased	(1378)
		Musharraf to quit army post after election. EVERYBODY PANIC	(37)
		"Ironic" tag working overtime as ACLU announces support for Larry Craig	(257)
		In a rare moment of calm and clarity, Iran threatens missile attacks on U.S. servicemen	(81)
		Hugo Chavez threatening to nationalize private schools that will not change to his government's new textbooks. George Orwell unavailable for comment	(135)

		Mark Foley is unlikely to be prosecuted, because of Congressional stonewalling, and the expiration of the statute of limitations. Now the poor man can finally move on and turn over a new page	(52)
		Greenspan backpedaling so fast he's leaving skidmarks	(32)
(Some Guy)		State senator files lawsuit against God; wants to go to hell but not wait in line with everybody else	(158)
		Hillary Clinton, yesterday: "The GOP is responsible for a lot of destructive talk about Latinos." April, 2006: "I'm sick of seeing illegal immigrants standing around on street corners looking for yard work"	(101)
		Teddy Kennedy set to write autobiography about enduring the deaths of his brothers, the breakup of his first marriage and "other personal trials." Mary Jo Kopechne unavailable for comment	(55)
		"However ridiculous it might seem to us, the case of Janet Jackson's televised breast is being seen in the U.S. as raising issues of censorship, free speech, government control and the rights of artists"	(94)
(Some Guy)		Harry Reid, this week: "I'm glad Bush listened to us for his AG nomination." Next month, post-nomination: "The Attorney General is the Antichrist and it's all Bush's fault"	(46)
(Some Flaming Lib)		Ann Coultergiest, drinking from her daily cup of crazy, says on Faux News that it would be good for Wall Street if we bomb, bomb, bomb Iran	(169)
(azdailysun)		"Choose Life" license plates stir up controversy, unwanted memories of Wham	(248)
		Radical Islamists still going on about that goddamned Mohammed cartoon being blasphemous. Jesus Christ	(683)
		Greenspan thinks tax cuts in the face of mounting deficits might not have been such a great idea	(54)
		Blackwater the mercenary company has been kicked out of Iraq. Currently, they are lobbying Dick Cheney to create another Katrina with the weather machine to pick up the slack in the workload	(200)
		Overturning Roe will not end abortion	(237)
(The American Prospect)		Hillary 1993: "This is my plan to reform health care, you stupid right-wingers can suck it." Hillary 2007: "It was all Bill's idea, don't you stupid right-wingers remember?"	(155)
(Buffalo News)		Op-ed: "Today, photos of a naked mayor is barely news." Apparently, the writer has been desensitized by Fark, too	(23)
		Digital protesting is more effective and fun because no one gets tear-gassed. With "Look at me, I was really a cool hippie protester back in the '60s and please God let me relive my glory days" photo goodness	(40)
(US News & World Report)		Vicente Fox calls Bush "the cockiest guy I have ever met in my life." Also says his Spanish is at a grade-school level	(50)
		Sen. Chuck Hagel (R-NE) tells it like it is: The GOP has been hijacked by incompetency	(51)
		El Presidente Bush puts on top hat, twirls handlebar mustache before personally vetoing bill that would have provided health care to sick children	(267)
(tPC)		FOX to Sally Field: Suck it	(197)
(Some Guy)		Colin Powell: "'Have you guys really thought through the aftermath [of Iraq]?' That’s what we hadn’t done. That was the big mistake"	(177)
		John McCain tells South Carolinians that he's really a Baptist, despite identifying himself as an Episcopalian for years	(48)
		If you run against Andrei Lugovoy for a seat in Russia's parliament, avoid eating dinner with him and don't accept any fruit baskets	(5)