Missouri Cop "I can make up 9 things to arrest you for"	(33)
		Study confirms what we all knew to be true: Politicians all have toxic blood	(6)
		Remember that video clip where some guy in the background tells Cheney "Go fark yourself"? Turns out the friend he went there with had a camera rolling too	(33)
		Ron Paul has become the Dennis Kucinich of the Republican Party	(146)
		Democrats: "Bush should have listened to the generals on the ground" Bush: "I am listening to General Petraeus." Democrats: "Bush shouldn't be listening to the generals on the ground"	(109)
		New poll finds U.S. voters opposed to electing Mormons, atheists or Muslims – but their chances of winning are still way better than Libertarians	(269)
		Candidate Truth-O-Meter. More "Pants on Fire" ratings coming soon	(33)
		The story: Univision invited Democrats to a debate, but not Republicans. The headline: "Republicans Ignore People of Color"	(67)
		Does God make mistakes? Judicial council of Methodist church to decide on transgender Pastor. Bush's nominee for Surgeon General heads the council. What will Republican Jesus do?	(60)
		Bush's top military and political advisers favor current war strategy, since things are going so well	(53)
		9/11 charity refuses to distribute the money to the needy	(27)
		Chad backs Darfur peace talks, suggests we all settle this genocide nonsense over poolside spritzers at his club	(14)
		Prospective president John Edwards always carries around a list of his potential cabinet members to be appointed when he becomes president. He also has death by meteorite and polar bear insurance, in case those unlikely things should also happen	(29)
(Some Guy)		Today's tinfoil hat political item: private eye alleges Rep. Gillmor was murdered, impending U.S. finance scandal was the motive	(26)
		The Telegraph, a stalwart of British journalism, makes sure to let its readers know that Osama bin Laden's latest video was produced by a California heavy metal fan. Ozzy unavailable for comment	(36)
		Rumsfeld to teach world peace at Stanford	(45)
		GOP struggles with identity crisis, complains that no one understands him, turns goth	(32)
		Government plans to pay all pregnant women $250, hopes they'll use it to buy fruit and vegetables	(30)

		"During the Monica Lewinsky scandal, [Fred Thompson] sent a risqué note to Clinton's chief of staff, joking that he shared the President's now notorious taste in cigars"	(51)
		In an MSNBC poll (still open) what percent do you think would support impeaching the President?	(193)
(Some Guy)		Amero coins now being minted in Denver for the North American Union (w/ Pics, & video)	(128)
		Fox News continues its traditional of fairness and balance by linking the Democrats to the latest bin Laden video	(76)
		UK Home Office launches ad campaign directed at 16 to 24-year-olds after asking what works with them, of course the old farts call it "pornographic"	(10)
		Official Fark rule #3,267: Thou will read any article that begins with "Haggling with a Bosnian street vendor over the price of an artillery shell may not seem like your everyday holiday experience, but..."	(6)
(Some Guy)		Weekly Standard's Fred Barnes takes the sledgehammer to Ron Paul	(155)
		After becoming completely disenchanted by what the modern Republican party has devolved into, Sen. Chuck Hagel announces his retirement from the U.S. Senate	(49)
(Some Guy)		Good guys kidnap bad guy who is himself a kidnapper. Just another day in the Middle East	(10)
		Mitt "Show Me The Money" Romney tells rivals to start collecting cash or STFU and go away	(75)
		Just how gay is the GOP?	(178)
		Sen. Ted Kennedy (D- Blowharder) whines about offshore wind farm on Nantucket Sound. "But don't you realize — that's where I sail"	(95)
		Sen. Chuck Hagel to announce retirement on Monday, will not run for President	(27)
		First lady Laura Bush to have elective surgery to relieve the pain in her neck. I thought this was called a divorce	(51)
		Bill Richardson shows us why he'll never be President in this OP-ED. Lots of pretty words, zero understanding of military logistics on how difficult an extraction from Iraq will be. Enjoy New Mexico, Bill, you'll never upgrade	(47)
		Not to be outdone by Miss South Carolina, mapless Bush confuses APEC and OPEC, tells Australians he went to visit their "Austrian troops in (the) Iraq."	(61)

		From the I-can't-believe-it-took-this-long file, Rep. William Jefferson (D-ishonest) claims his bribery case is race-based, not stolen-cash-in-the-freezer based	(38)
		Rudy Giuliani says he doesn't really want to be president after all	(71)
		Fred Thompson expresses his ready willingness to unleash nukes upon Iran. Really, you can't make this stuff up	(44)
(aol)		Why does Fox News hate Ron Paul?	(182)
(Some Guy)		With material like, "Democrats believe public restrooms are only for snorting coke," and "Hillary Clinton has chubby legs," it's no wonder Ann Coulter got very little applause or laughter at a recent speaking engagement	(97)
(Zogby Poll)		Forty-two percent of Democrats think that Bush either caused 9/11 or knew about it and let it happen	(428)
(Some Guy)		Bush tells reporter, "I’ll bet I’ve shed more tears than you can count as president," forgetting that most people's counting limit extends beyond the number of fingers and toes they have	(65)
		Liberal columnist asks: "Why should Americans waste time arguing over the lessons of a war that ended in the 1970s, when we're at war with a new enemy right now?"	(64)
(Some Law Talking Guy)		Head of DOJ's Civil Division resigns, in celebration of a federal holiday farkers call "Friday"	(12)
(VH1)		Nas fires back at Bill O'Reilly: "Everybody has a marketing plan; his marketing plan is racism"	(69)
(YNet)		Israeli Air Force: We don't know why you guys overreacted, we constantly violate Syrian airspace	(619)
		Having created world peace for now and into the future, Bush and S. Korean president get in a tizzy about war truce from 54 years ago	(60)
(Some Guy)		Unemployment at 4.6 percent. Percent of workforce made of illegal immigrants: Five percent. Calm and reasonable discussion about jorbs being stolen to the right	(108)
		Why are liberals turning on Teddy? The answer my friend, is just breaking wind	(44)
(Some Guy)		After over a week of debating creation vs. evolution, the comments have come down to "my god's balls are bigger and tastier than your gods"	(131)
		Politician upset to discover that asinine customs regulations apply to him; shocked that TSA was rude to his family. 2002 wants its headline back	(31)
		Four supporters attend Fred Thompson presidential rally. Considering it was Utah, that's four more than were expected	(165)
		John Stossel and "20/20" go to Cuba to see if average citizens get the same medical care as fat, bloviating, leftist American filmmakers do (click on video at right)	(649)
(Classical Values)		"The Hsu case is bigger than Vick and Craig combined. It has a creepy, tip-of-the-iceberg feel to it, and it's a perfect reminder of the deep, hard-core corruption which has long characterized Bill and Hillary Clinton"	(183)
(Big Head DC)		Naked celebrity trifecta now in play: First Vanessa Hudgens, now political pundit Christopher Hitchens in the shower (SFW-ish, no naughty bits)	(19)
		Like Sting and Elton John before him, Osama Bin Laden to put out yet another video while sporting a new look	(137)
		Washington, D.C. appeals ruling that stuck down its handgun ban to the U.S. Supreme Court -- which could set the stage for the first ruling on the Second Amendment since 1938. Fark's servers go to DEFCON 4	(70)
		How far can a lame duck fly? Pretty far, actually	(9)
		Suprisingly enough, Al Gore doesn't go to events on the backs of eagles	(191)
		Nagin decides not to run for governor, thinking he will be unable to do for the state what he has done for New Orleans	(13)
(ktvb)		Idaho Representative Mike Simpson will not seek Craig's seat, even after it's no longer occupied	(12)
		Fugitive fundraiser Norman Hsu nabbed in Colorado	(65)
		George Bush gets a 21-bum salute in Australia	(26)
		Judge rules part of Patriot Act unconstitutional, orders FBI to stop secretly demanding info from ISPs	(175)
		The hills are alive with the sound of George W.	(157)
		Lefties warned that screaming every single law that they don't agree with instantly turns country into Nazi Germany tends to hurt their credibility over time. Not that the "OMFG, Bush is worse than HITLER" crowd is listening	(123)
		"Bill and Hillary Clinton were a picture-perfect couple as they campaigned together recently. But even some supporters were wondering: How on earth can they still be married?"	(48)

		In August Sen. Kennedy became #3 on the Senate's all time votes-cast list by casting his 15,000th vote. Suck it Cons, Kopechne	(41)
(Some (not gay) Guy)		Sen. Larry Craig's arrest could be invalidated by Article 1, Section 6 of the US Constitution, which states that no member of Congress can be arrested while traveling to or from official session	(88)
(Rasmussen Reports)		Democrats now lead Republicans by a whopping eighteen points on the generic congressional ballot. Experts say at this rate they'll clinch their division by June	(41)
		Former pitcher Jim Bunning takes one for the team to defend the really really not gay toilet senator	(14)
		Radical Federal Judge forgets his place, rules the NSL provisions of the Patriot Act unconstitutional	(120)
		Craig supporters call for boycott of Minneapolis airport. In related news, how the hell do you boycott an airport?	(56)
(Some Guy)		Obama supporters show up for parade in Manchester; cause chaos because they refuse to talk with the VFW and instead break most of the local traffic laws. Must be that "Audacity of Hope" stuff	(199)
		Matt Drudge to leave radio at the end of September. In other news, Matt Drudge is on the radio	(45)
		Dawkins reviews Hitchens, creating a huge vortex of atheism	(194)
		Senator Larry Craig (R - I dunno), who was NEVER GAY, but was resigning, still WASN'T GAY, and was not resigning, is resigning again. But he is still DEFINITELY NOT GAY. Penis	(237)
		Demystifying new method of calculating Iraq violence: "If a bullet went through the back of the head, it's sectarian... If it went through the front, it's criminal"	(31)
		CIA agents confirm Bush knew Iraq had no WMDs, invaded anyway	(270)
		Democrats dismissing Petraeus report a week before it is released	(153)
		GAO report finds Motherland Security to be an ineffectual waste of resources	(426)
(Some Guy)		Senator Larry Craig’s (R-notgay) daughter appears on TV to tell everyone he’s definitely not gay -- ignoring the fact that oops, she has a warrant out for her arrest	(203)
		Both the Republicans and the Democrats are wrong about Iraq	(42)
		Native Floridian with Palestinian heritage travels to Israel. Farkers aren't suprised this combination led to an international crisis	(36)
		Senators introduce bill to ban tolls on highways we already paid for with our taxes	(87)
(Some Guy)		Israeli jets cross into Lebanese... err Syrian airspace, drawing anti-aircraft fire. It's all the same news there, anyway	(829)
		TV comedians dress like Osama Bin Laden and manage to drive three fake car bombs right next to the hotel where many powerful world leaders, including fearless leader, will be staying for the Asia-Pacific summit	(125)
(Some Guy)		Fred Thompson (R - USA Network) officially enters the race for the Republican presidential nomination. Plans to solve America's problems in one hour once a week every Friday	(444)
		One of those times when the picture is worth a thousand words: Senator Brownback's not exactly wowing the crowds in New Hampshire	(104)
(Huffington Post)		How George Bush can salvage his presidency -- today	(156)

		Not News: Schools told to keep Creationism out of the science room. News: Or risk losing funding. Fark: By Conservatives	(448)
(kos)		Olberman beats O'Reilly in ratings	(118)
		Forgetting for a moment what country he lives in, Ontario Conservative leader wants to let schools put creationism back on the agenda	(195)
(LGF)		Rightwing bloggers congratulate DailyKos on their victory over the FEC. Quick hug before the poop-flinging resumes	(226)
		Terrorists win again as Homeland Security kills never-used, $42-million data-mining project, but not before abusing people's privacy	(70)
		1999 video clip of Sen Craig (R-eacharound) calling Bill Clinton "a nasty, bad, naughty boy"	(65)
		According to President Bush, who apparently lives in an alternate reality, "We are kicking ass" in Iraq	(278)
		How could a U.S. Senator who was arrested for soliciting bathroom sex and then faked his own resignation make things even stranger? Hiring Ron Mexico's attorney	(165)
(Real Clear Politics)		Poll shows Michigan voters favor Clinton for the Democrats, Romney for the Republicans, and Lloyd Carr for the unemployment line	(7)
(Vanity Fair)		Vanity Fair attempts to re-reinvent Al Gore: Turns out he's a great guy, not the pompous, preaching, demagouging prig we reported him to be. If we hadn't been so mean, he'd be President today	(54)
		In honor of Larry Craig not being gay: Top political sex scandals	(196)
		The other Hsu drops in Democrat fundraiser scandal	(188)
(LA Daily News)		Political hack attorneys given shiny new badges. Guess what they do with them?	(39)
(The Trentonian)		Congressman's computers all farked up after band hippy protesters invade office. Oh, and they videotaped themselves possible evidence of the sabotage and posted it on YouTube	(215)
		ABC has yet to release The Path to 9/11 on DVD because of the Hillary campaign. Giuliani	(92)
		Obama: "Too often the American people don't know who Washington is working for, and when they find out, they don't like what they hear."	(130)
(Some Guy)		The Israeli lobby just might get the war it wanted with Iran	(166)
		Rep. Patrick Kennedy says he will keep tainted donations that other candidates are returning, after all, he's done much worse things in life and gotten away with it	(14)
		"Like any half-decent atheist, I’m fond of a bit of religion"	(282)
		After the report finding that 11 out of 18 central government benchmarks in Iraq were not met, George W. Bush wants to move the goalposts again and now focus on the American alliances with local tribal groups	(91)
		Hillary Clinton says she will save Social Security without cutting benefits or raising the retirement age	(114)
(Some Nuns)		The National Coalition of American Nuns calls for Bush & Cheney to be impeached	(42)
		Many Liberians may be ousted from U.S. That's rather strong punishment for just wanting books returned on time	(56)
		Book reveals Bush suffers from bouts of crying caused by stress, sees ghostly visions, which turned out to just be Karl Rove in a sheet	(65)
		Associate Justice David Souter nearly resigned in protest over Bush v. Gore	(67)
		State of Texas buys Davy Crockett's last known letter, which historians have already dubbed the "They're takin' ahr jorbs Manifesto"	(30)

		McCain, in a brilliant move sure to wins votes from the younger generation, calls them little jerks, threatens to draft them, and tells them to get off his lawn	(86)
		Sen. Larry Craig: I'm not gay, and I'm not sure I'm going to retire like I said. So I want to take that back. And my guilty plea, too. Also, I'm not gay	(374)
		The Huffington Post gets incoherent on occasion, but this is the first time they've ever claimed James Bond was in the US Senate	(30)
		Not news: Trade unions are big fans of affirmative action. News: For whites	(56)
		Mexico's president peeved at the United States for returning the country's most plentiful export: Poverty	(81)
(Some Guy)		New York Times, last week: "Sen. Larry Craig has got to go." This week: "Gosh, that nasty ol' GOP sure was quick to keelhaul poor Larry Craig"	(65)
(Real Clear Politics)		Poll of both Carolinas show Clinton in the lead with 52 percent support, with Obama about as popular as tomato-based BBQ sauce	(172)
		Former NJ governor says he is worse than the toilet senator. "The senator did not have a lover on the payroll, as I did; nor did he engage in sexual relations for money or use his office for unethical professional or personal gain"	(49)
(Some Guy)		Republican presidential candidate Bill Richardson explains that the Good Lord wants Iowa to have early primaries. Thus was it written, so shall it be	(150)
		After being out of the news for several months now, Iraq slated as the No. 1 discussion topic when Congress returns for the fall session. No plans for anything "binding," which should assure some headway	(35)
		Paul Bremer provides letters to the NY Times proving that Dubya approved of his misguided de-Baathification program for the Iraqi military	(41)
		Senator Larry Craig's children go on "Good Morning America," declare that he was "a victim of circumstance." That should settle matters, right?	(109)
(Some Guy)		Liberal media ignores Romney fundraising scandal, rips Hillary for taking money from people of Chinese descent	(43)
(TPM Muckraker)		If you are a conservative Republican state congressman in a conservative state and president of the Christian Action League, it's probably not a great idea to pay your hookers with blank checks	(223)
		North Korea is slowly adopting capitalism, as evidenced by the fact that the number of commercial billboards in the country has doubled to two	(16)
(Politifact)		Rudy Giuliani doesn't really deserve a lot of credit for lowering crime in New York City	(49)
(Real Clear Poilitics)		Teddy Kennedy is not exactly an environmental champion	(54)
		Blogger who outed Senator Craig (R-eacharound) keeps secret list of closet GOP gays, threatening to out those who don't bow to his will	(216)
		Old and busted: Shock and Awe, leading to a drawn-out occupation. New hotness: Three days of absolute destruction, then get the hell out	(1348)
		John Edwards, whose father was management at an anti-union mill, is winning labor endorsements by pointing out that his father worked in a mill	(67)
		Rove opposed Cheney for VP	(28)
		Yesterday: Dams provide carbon-free energy. Today: Dams create global warming. Tomorrow: Every dam thing creates global warming	(46)
		New poll finds more than half of all people in Australia believe George W. Bush is the worst president in American history. But this is the country where Hitler was born, so take it for what it's worth	(119)
		N. Korea says that U.S. will remove it from terror list. U.S. snorts milk out nose laughing	(20)
(Some Guy)		Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez slaps crazy glue on his ass and straps himself to the throne at the Palacio de Miraflores. Twenty more years	(103)
		British spy agency spied on George Orwell for decades after fearing what he thought and said was a danger to the state. If only there was a word to describe such a concept	(227)

		Mahmoud Ahmadinejad uses his skills at math to prove that the US won't attack Iran. Doesn't realize Bush got mostly Cs in college	(160)
(Some Guy)		If presidential hopeful Bill Richardson doesn't make it into the White House, he might find success as a stand-up comic	(10)
		John Cusack is angry at the Pentagon	(111)
		Russia moves closer to laying a military claim on the Arctic	(52)
		Taliban says South Korea broke their promises and that's not fair and they're gonna tell Mullah Omar on them	(80)
		Half the British think that religion is harmful. More than half believe in God. Do the math	(80)
(Some Guy)		"Hillary Clinton's campaign is now a bigger employer than 96 per cent of US businesses, according to research by the Boston Globe"	(36)
(Some Guy)		Back in January, Israel considering taking off and nuking Iran from orbit because it was the only way to be sure	(142)
		John Edwards wouldn't just make health care universal, he'd make it mandatory. "You can't choose not to go to the doctor for 20 years. You have to go in and be checked." Enjoy your compulsory colon screening, citizen	(172)
		How union members, socialists, Communists, and a pandering Democrat President created Labor Day	(67)
		Polish president Kaczynski admitted to hospital after "deterioration" in his health. Apparently, "deterioration" is Polish for "drank two bottles of vodka"	(19)
		President Bush looking forward to being bored during his retirement, also hopes to make huge amounts money through public speaking appearances	(114)
		The Soviet Union may have actually built a "doomsday machine" in the mid '80s. And it may very well be activated right now. We'll meet again, don't know where, don't know when	(72)
		Mexican president promises to fight for the rights of Mexicans in the US, says "Mexico does not end at its borders."	(86)
		British general says that UK leaving Iraq because, "You yanks seem to have everything in hand." Just kidding, the words, "fatally flawed" are in the first sentence	(52)
		Well at least America isn't the only one with sleazebags in office	(15)