Gen. David Petraeus says the 'Surge' has failed to meet it's goals. He'll be fired tomorrow and replaced by someone from the U.S. Coast Guard	(25)
		After complaining to mayor that she cannot reduce budget, City Council chief reluctantly returns the flat-screen TVs she ordered for her receptionist	(2)
(Some Guy)		Various politicians on both sides give weak answers about gay rights. To no one's surprise, John "I'm not comfortable around those people" Edwards is still against gay marriage	(24)
		"Like a pigeon in a box who gets rewarded with a corn kernel every time he flaps a designated wing, Lou Dobbs was soon just one big madly flapping right wing"	(36)
		One long-legged, luscious reason to vote for Obama has been taking the campaign by storm. God bless democracy	(46)
(Army Times)		"When I was in the military, they gave me a medal for killing two men, and discharged me for loving one."	(60)
		Today's weather forecast for northern Israel: Hot, dry, and a 70% chance of falling rockets	(128)
(Concord Monitor)		"I'm illiterate, and no one's going to change that because I'm an American. I got my right to be dumb"	(63)
		Remember the gay soon-to-be-Mayor of Dallas? Not so fast there, sweetums... apparently Texas still isn't ready for such a fabulous politician	(22)
		Hillary's "Feminist Problem: don't trust her as far as you can spit"	(38)
(Some Guy)		"It was never a question of 'if,' but always 'when' Democrats would give into Washington's corrupt ways"	(45)
(Some Amnesiac)		Tony Snow discovers that when you say things on camera then claim you didn't, someone has the tape. Next thing you know, he'll go intertubing	(47)
(Some Guy)		Romney says he wants 'big stick'. Mrs. Romney says she'll have the same please	(28)
		Soldier who helped capture Saddam Hussein retires as a hero, with all of his post-war medical expenses covered... nah, just kidding, he's abandoned by the VA to rot in his own personal hell	(83)
		Ron Paul, Rudy, McCain, the re-animated corpse of Reagan... it doesn't matter who the Republicans put up, they're gonna lose in the end anyway	(94)

		60% of Baghdad not controlled. Or, to put things in terms Chimpy McFlightsuit can understand, "Mission "	(48)
		The Surge that happened before didn't really happen. It starts... wait for it... now	(28)
		President Bush vows to *HAHAHAHA* (cough) *HAHAHAHA* veto "excessive" spending bills	(56)
		Democrats want to force us all to drive fuel-efficient dorkmobiles	(114)
		Hispanic leaders say Schwarzenegger is "ignorant on immigration issues." Yeah, what would he know about moving to another country and becoming successful?	(87)
		Will 2008 be the year of the left in American politics? Damn right says the article. Unlikely tag steps up with its own opinion	(72)
		SERVICE GUARANTEES CITIZENSHIP. Would you like to know more?	(94)
		Not News: US gives billions of $$ in aid. News: To US contractors in Columbia. Fark.com: As cocaine production increases for a 3rd consecutive year	(32)
(Some Guy)		Mother Teresa's peeps ask Hillary to stop using pictures of her and the Saint of Calcutta as a political tool. Lest they have to get medival on her ass with a pair of pliers and a blowtorch	(44)
(Some Guy)		In their quest to collapse into an ultra-dense quantum singularity of ridicule, the furries have spawned a political branch called... confurvatives	(63)
(Daily Express)		Secret plans for an EU superstate are underway. Shhh, don't tell anyone, it's our secret	(24)
(LA City-Journal)		Let the segregation commence	(57)
		Highly decorated combat veteran, General Peter Pace, whines about being fired as Chairman of the Joint Chiefs	(52)
		Conservative bloggers are revolting. Over immigration	(130)

(Military.com)		The Army has traditionally led every major ground combat offensive in history. The Executive Branch gave them them an impossible mission, yet they are doing their best. Solution? Fire all Army Generals and replace them with Admirals. Brilliant	(49)
(Royal Dutch Shell)		Old News: "Oil will run out soon"; TV News: "That's a lie, you dirty hippes"; Fark: "Oil will run out in 2011," says former BP Vice President	(86)
		It's Friday gang and you know what that means. Another member of the Bush administration resigns amidst a scandal. This weeks guest star is Mike Elston, chief of staff to Deputy Attorney General	(32)
(ABP News)		The United States faces twin dangers of radical Islam and radical atheism	(162)
		Pentagon proposal would no longer require troops to list previous mental health treatment when applying for security clearance	(86)
(Some Guy)		Boston Globe, 2005: "Netanyahu is an idiot for thinking withdrawal from Gaza will breed terrorism." 2007: "Sharon was an idiot to withdraw from Gaza and allow terrorism to breed there"	(49)
		Not news: Hillary Clinton is tied with Romney and Giuliani. News: In Texas	(169)
		Trent Lott: "Talk radio is running America. We have to deal with that problem." Trent Lott said that? When did Trent Lott start making sense?	(224)
		Why does whichever party happens to be in power at the moment always hate reform, then scream for it when they go out of power?	(59)
(St. Catharines Standard)		Parents fuming after their precious unique snowflakes weren't promptly honored by politicians at the scheduled time because the politicians were still debating more important issues	(33)
(KATV)		One of the eight replacements in Attorneygate and former aide to Karl Rove tearfully says public service "is not worth it." Look what you libs have done, y'all made a grown man cry. For shame	(61)
		Hamas to offer Fatah leaders amnesty. No word on whether a guest worker program is involved	(32)
		The Surge™ is over. Oh, by the way, it may take about 10 years before you can tell how awesomely effective it was	(126)
		Dalai Lama meets with Australian PM over condemnation from China. Meeting to be held in Gungakalunga	(13)
(CHB)		Alberto Gonzales is investigating whether he lied to Congress, that is if he doesn't stop himself first	(82)
		Democrat leader Pelosi wants adult children of politicians to ride for free on government planes. Meet the new congress, less popular than the old congress	(65)
		Abbas dissolves Palestinian government, if you can call it that	(137)
		Why does the US hate Hillary Clinton? It is because we are all shallow and judge people based on appearance	(113)
		With Hamas and Fatah in all-out battle, Palestine on the brink of civil war which could possibly lead OMG BREAKING NEWS Paris Hilton fell out of bed	(43)
(Politico)		GOP to Republican candidates: "It's ok to be a racist, just don't say it out loud"	(98)

(The DOD)		Reid uses Pentagon's Iraq Report to say the surge "failed" ...too bad the report doesn't say that	(59)
		Schwarzenegger tells state Hispanics that learning English is important. Stay tuned for inevitable charges of racism	(146)
(NBC)		DC "government watchdog" attacks deputy mayor for hiring someone that isn't black	(44)
		Man complains about bible study guides on a government website, so they're immediately removed. He plans to sue anyway	(54)
		Judge tells Libby do not pass Go, do not collect $200 and to scoot his butt off to jail	(143)
(Wil Wheaton)		Political pundit Wil Wheaton weighs in on Campaign '08	(75)
		Angelina Jolie makes film about freedom of the press, then bans Fox News from the premiere. She also banned the Ironic tag, so Asinine is filling in	(394)
(Adbusters)		Liberals these days are a bunch of overly sensitive, whiny little victims, says liberal	(94)
(Politico)		Fox News Channel ditches General Wesley Clark as a contributor in favor of Harold Ford, Jr. because they "prefer looking at Ford"	(19)
		Supreme Court to unions: No, you can't use dues for political purposes without direct permission from workers. Not yours	(55)
(Political Wire)		Bad polls + no money + defections = McCain's campaign in "deep trouble"	(50)
(nola.com)		Country singer Sammy Kershaw announces candidacy for lieutenant governor of Louisiana	(23)
		William Jefferson is a scapegoat for a Republican White House and Justice Department. Stupid tag looks around and hides $90,000 in its freezer	(76)
		Iran finally goes too far, legalizes the execution of porn stars	(58)
		Bush's poll numbers enter the 7th Annual Limbo Competition and bests the old record set in 2006	(321)
		Major African state "to collapse within six months." Gentlemen, start your spam filters	(34)
		"McCain says he'll fight Clinton's 'pork.'" Some people just won't let the Lewinsky thing go	(19)
		Internal audit of 10 percent of FBI national-security investigations finds 1000 violations while collecting phone and other private data. Who didn't see this coming?	(39)

		Democrats brag that they won't lose Florida in 2008 after 16,000 convicted felons have voting rights restored by Florida Parole Commission	(32)
		Pissed off Pentagon says that China intentionally understates its military spending. In related news, somewhere a pot called a kettle black	(16)
		What do Christian extremists, Muslim extremists, and Jewish extremists have in common? Apparently plenty	(99)
(American Conservative)		Iran is not America's natural enemy	(89)
(Gateway Pundit)		Former Iranian president Mohammad Khatami embroiled in sex scandal after being filmed shaking hands with women	(22)
(Associated Content)		US Main stream media fails to cover the entire 2008 presidential pool. The Internet still the best place to get real news	(35)
		Q: What do Truman, Nixon and Carter have in common? A: They all had lower approval ratings than Bush. Here comes the research	(187)
		FBI monitoring universities, because any place that attracts foreigners and liberals is bound to be a breeding ground for terrorism	(60)
		Judge: "No, you cannot have your eminent domain. Not yours"	(49)
(USNews)		Immigration bill may be back in play as soon as tonight; Opponents of the bill will continue to rail against it vehemently, then go back to the couch	(95)
		Americans support voter ID at the polls. They want clean elections. They want fewer chances of fraud. They're all racist	(203)
(Science Blogs)		Proof that independents are smarter & better educated then Democrats or Republicans (sic). Suck it, libs. Suck it, wingnuts	(52)
		Giuliani offers his 15 *CRASH* ... 12 commitments to the American People	(73)
		Attorneygate creeps ever closer to the White House with subpoenas issued for Former White House Counsel Harriett Myers and Former White House Political Director Sara Taylor	(106)
		The Decider now has "unrefutable" evidence that Iran has been supplying weapons to the Taliban. Here we go again	(289)
		Congress to pass bill that would keep guns out of the hands of the mentally ill. In other news, gun sales plummet	(444)
		Actor Fred Thompson says he'd like nation's top job; will settle for President if Brooke Burke's brazilian waxer position is filled	(72)

		Head of U.S. Special Operations Command says that bureaucracy hampers ability to conduct War on Terror and that milk comes from cows	(28)
(Think Progress)		Bill O'Reilly defends his thin coverage of the War in Iraq by proclaiming that bombings in Iraq mean nothing	(105)
(MaineToday.com)		Maine Senate passes first statewide Net Neutrality bill	(91)
		Bush to Senate: "Git 'er done"	(60)
(Some Guy)		White House: The President's watch was not stolen. Why, he simply put it in his pocket for no apparent reason	(410)
(Washington Times)		"Tear down this wall." Twenty years ago today, Ronald Reagan inspired millions of Eastern Europeans living under soul-deadening Communist oppression	(218)
		Outgoing British PM Tony Blair tears into media like a feral beast	(28)
		No, pharmacists. You may not impose your religious beliefs on NJ residents who have the audacity to have different views. Not yours	(563)
		Although it's fairly early, the Democrats appear to be well on their way to going 0-for-3* in presidential elections this century	(125)
		With his refreshing new brand of campaigning (not opening his mouth), Fred Thompson has climbed into a dead heat with Rudy Giuliani atop the Republican presidential field	(37)
		Kucinich wants gas stations to install $2,000 metering pumps to ensure that full gallons are sold when gas expands during warm weather	(26)
(Daily Herald)		Poll finds that the majority of Republicans do not believe evolution is true	(124)
		A Thompson-Guiliani presidency?	(31)
(crooksandliars)		Asinine conservative idea, No. 991,875: Let's shut down public schools	(230)
(Some Guy)		Map of U.S. with each state renamed for a country that has a similar GDP. Alabama still a theocracy	(250)
(Think Progress)		Internal White House investigation reveals the head of the General Service Administration broke the law and recommends her firing. In other words, she's doing a heck of a job and she's gonna get a medal	(19)
		And now: More primary re-scheduling idiocy	(23)
		This just in from the Fox newsroom: We spend less time covering the Iraq war. We report, you decide	(44)
(People's Media)		Twice-divorced abortion-tolerant gay rights-supporting you-know-who is hugely popular among evangelical Christians	(61)
(Stars and Stripes)		American soldiers handing out toys, gifts to Iraqi kids. (w/ lots of pics)	(64)

		Los Angeles mayor separates from wife, takes responsibility for not being able to handle matters at home. Wife expected to keep the house and half the city	(58)
		"Denver residents may soon be asked to make personal sacrifices to help save the planet." Translation: We're jacking up energy and insurance rates and here's a list of cars you're not allowed to own	(40)
(Liberty Papers)		Campaign donations surge after Ron Paul's debate performances	(120)
		Court rules Gitmo can't hold Yanni	(18)
		L.A. Times poll to be released later today show John "Senator Furious" McCain dropping to third, below Giuliani and Thompson and above a sharp stick in the eye	(70)
		Court rules in favor of Constitution. Suck it, Bush	(264)
		Colin Powell: I would close Gitmo today	(99)
		The Commander Guy says the immigration bill will pass, will be every bit as effective as the surge	(49)
		In a marriage of convenience, Democrats and the NRA agree to new federal gun-control legislation. Gun owners left to take the walk of shame	(43)
(IHT)		China actively developing strategy to hold off U.S. forces while Chinese army overwhelms Taiwanese defenses and reclaims the island. This should end well	(75)
		UK Conservative party demands inquiry in to Iraq war. No, this hasn’t been stuck in the link submission queue for three years	(10)
(Some Guy)		Bush: "They can try to have their vote of no confidence, but it's not going to determine who serves in my government''	(215)
		How do 5000 Buddhist monks stage a protest? They all sit down and block the traffic	(15)
		Aussie prime minister and the opposition leader to be sold on Ebay. Now if only other politicians would take the hint	(14)
		Robin Hood and his Merry Men called "a medieval al-Qaida"	(66)