(Deseret News)		Romney talks about how France has 7 year marriage contracts, blames VT shootings on porn and video games	(7)
(E Pluribus Media)		Colorado election official caught selling voter data to GOP candidates. Rove unavailable for comment	(11)
(KATU)		Ferret owners angry after tape surfaces of Giuliani suggesting one owner seek help from a therapist. Yes, the article contains the word "Ferretgate." "-gate" suffix to be taken outside and shot	(9)
(Some Guy)		John McCain doesn't know if condoms prevent HIV, has to ask aid	(93)
		Sarkozy wins French Presidency. Suck it, French libs	(297)
		Trying to buy votes in the up coming election in the Philippines, politicians are handing out cash, food, and their own brand of underwear. Wait…..what?	(5)
		The Japanese believe extra marital sex isn't adultery if they pay for it, while U.S. spouses cheat like the French, but feel worse	(15)
		Largest turnout in over 30 years for French elections. Due to a large "write-in" campaign, French goverment braces itself for the Jerry Lewis administration	(39)
		If President Bush's approval rating drops any more, he's going to start making Carter look like a good president	(88)
(Wikipedia)		Al Gore is coming to my school this week to give a lecture. What question would you ask him? Please note: the crazy people have already been sending us emails for 2 months	(382)
		Guess the '08 Presidential candidate some of Bush's top confidants are supporting. No, you're wrong	(43)
		"Obama's appearance later in the day was moved to a much larger venue than the conference room in which Clinton spoke"	(8)
(Rocky Mountain News)		Gay Republican group leaning towards Giuliani, guaranteeing him at least 15 to 20 votes in the election	(31)
		Al-Qaida No. 2 mocks American 'failure.' In related news, someone had the gonads to claim to be Al-Qaida's No. 2 guy	(14)
		What does $456 billion buy? (slideshow)	(50)
		Study shows Torrie David Cameron is on course to become PM. Suck it, Labours	(60)
(El Paso Times)		Bush commands Congress to bend to his will. Waves arms in mystic manner and goes woooooo	(33)

		Single military parents deployed abroad are losing custody of their children by default	(125)
		"If George Bush put a microchip in your garbage under the Patriot Act, there'd be mass demonstrations across the land. But do it in the guise of saving the planet and everyone's fine with it."	(40)
(FortWayne.com)		In another example of poor planning and unreal optimistic thinking the "Wall of the Fallen" an Iraq war memorial has run out of room. It was out of room last November. Sad tag goes away to cry in the corner	(183)
		What we can learn from France: a surprisingly long article by Bill Maher	(65)
		Leader of Hezbollah praises Israel for being "'committed and faithful to its own existence." ...wait, what?	(10)
		Pentagon moves to stop spread of intelligence. They started at the White House and they're working their way down	(8)
(media matters)		Media Matters catch Wolf Blitzer listing recent DC sex scandals, but omitting the GOP ones. Submitter catches Media Matters omitting Gary Condit	(65)
(NY Daily News)		Hillary Clinton has lined up a bevy of babes to draw the younger crowd into her White House bid. In other news, Bill Clinton now apparently running Hillary's presidential campaign	(14)
		France's Royal warns of violence if Sarkozy wins, then retreats below article picture (LGT to article with pic)	(14)
		DC Madam story goes limp, claims this has never happened before	(114)
(crooksandliars)		Former White House reporter and male prostitute, Jeff Gannon, hosts National Day of Prayer function. Submitter is not making this up	(50)

		FBI: Suspicious substance sent to Sen. Dawson turns out to be glitter. Terror Threat Level raised to Shiny	(17)
		Great Idea: Gov't wants to use your cell phone to detect terror attacks. Just don't think about the implications of this and you'll be fine, citizen	(41)
(Anchorage Daily news)		Oil company CEO to corrupt Alaskan politician "I own your ass" "I got you a job now get me a pipeline"	(33)
		Mitt "flip flop" Romney changes his mind about his favorite book. Apparently it's not "Battlefield Earth" like once thought. Anyone wanna guess what it REALLY is?	(314)
		Fred Thompson played a racist in an acting role in 1988 so he can't be president	(53)
(Some Guy)		Florida moves primary to January 29th against party rules. New Hampshire responds by moving their primary to January super minus infintieth. Iowa changes theirs to last Thursday	(106)
(Some Guy)		Yesterday: Huffington Post was mad because Obama doesn't watch TV. Today: AP asks GOP candidates what they'd take to a desert island. Tomorrow: The media complains that no one cares about real issues	(52)
(Some Guy)		Hillary Clinton wants Congress to to repeal the the authority it gave Bush. For which she voted. For a war that has already happened. In related news, Hillary Clinton apparently has a time machine	(164)
		Three Republicans caught coddling a terrorist that blew up a hotel	(24)
(EFF)		It's not too late to tell Homeland Security how you feel about them collecting your driver's license, birth certificate, tax records, and everything else, on your dime	(22)
(KX Net)		John Murtha (D-Tikrit) criticizes General Patraeus for coming to Washington and not meeting with Congressional members---One week after meeting with him	(39)
		O'Bama boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling. Barack's ancestry traced to Irish cobbler	(136)
		Iranian foreign minister walks out of diplomatic dinner because icky girl violinist was dressed too sluttily and it scared him	(156)
		"No Nukes" activists of the 80's ready to tell "No Carbon" punks to get off their lawns	(22)
		If you took a shot every time one of the GOP candidates mentioned Ronald Reagan last night, one can only imagine the gargatuan hangover you are suffering today	(70)
(Some Nascar Caesar)		Controversial Europeon historian says the world needs an American Empire	(38)
		Hindu man and Muslim woman, happily married for 21 years with seven children, forcibly divorced by Malaysian court and have their children taken away for Islamic “rehabilitation”	(41)
(C&L)		Seven out of ten Republican candidates for President believe in evolution. The other three think Jesus rode a Stegosaurus through Galilee	(334)
		Rove coached officials on what to say to Congress during testimony over firings. Coaching consited of one slide stating "I dont recall"	(94)
(kos)		Democrat crafts legislation denying guns to terrorist suspects. Gonzales supports it. Freeper heads asplode	(64)
		Ron Paul has the highest positive rating in MSNBC's post-debate poll. Suck it, Giuliani	(50)
		Michigan high school student mistakenly assigned state governor's old cell phone number. "People want to talk to you 24-7. This experience hasn't given me any political aspirations"	(9)
(Say Anything)		Pelosi before the eleciton: We won't cut off funding to end the war. Nancy after the election: We're going to cut off funding to end the war	(74)
		Ireland is preventing a teenager from aborting a baby that will die as soon as it is born	(63)
(RushLimbaugh.com)		Rush Limbaugh: "History Will Put George W. Bush in Upper Echelon of U.S. Presidents" Looks like El Rushbo is back on the pills	(144)

		Tony Blair set to make £10 million after he steps down as PM. Apparently, being someone's poodle pays pretty well	(9)
		Republican debate discussion thread. Score points whenever the ghost of Ronald Reagan is invoked	(1003)
		Moving one step closer to full blown dictatorship, Chavez may nationalize banking and steel industries	(252)
		U.S. attorneys are poltical appointees and can be fired for any reason. Career DOJ prosecutors are not, and it would be illegal to consider their politics in the hiring process. Guess what the DOJ is being investigated for now?	(71)
(Some Guy)		Athletic-American students are offended at Middlebury College's Dean of Institutional Diversity. Two items: 1. Subby is not making this up. 2. Including "Athletic-Americans" and "Dean of Diversity"	(32)
		Barack Obama placed under secret service protection. In other news Obama's middle name is HUSSEIN, EVERYBODY PANIC	(312)
(Some Guy)		Obama to MySpace Obama: Waaaah, you stole my MySpace name. Gimmie	(58)
		Russia suspects U.S. plans to monopolize fuel from moon. Relax, Russia -- if there's fuel on the moon, Cheney and his cronies already own the rights to it	(26)
		Hillary's name changes on official website faster than husband goes through Big Macs	(22)
		Mainstream media has already dismissed Democrat Mike Gravel as a fringe nutter, but is surprised that he's getting good reviews online from people at websites like Fark	(34)
(Some Soldier)		By the way, those "freedoms taken away" from soldiers in Iraq about posting things on blogs, there are reasons for it	(216)
(News Sentinel)		Six months after the election, Congress opens investigation into disputed House seat Florida-13, which might lead to new information about touch-screen voting machines	(48)
		Reporter asks Obama about his favorite TV show. Obama replies that he doesn't really watch much TV. This is a big problem for the Huffington Post	(73)
		Time says Osama's influential. So's George Clooney and Oprah Winfrey. George W. Bush? Not so much	(177)
		"This is the way we live now: The only place where speech can occur without fear of job loss is on a cartoon show or in stand-up comedy"	(391)
		After successfully driving many fiscal conservatives out of the party with Dubya, the GOP sets their sights on driving out social conservatives	(101)
		Months after miscalculating health costs for returning Iraq and Afghanistan war veterans, leading to a $1 billion shortfall in their budget, senior VA officials get huge bonuses	(101)
		Article summary: Mitt Romney is Mormon. And once upon a time, Mormons killed some innocent people. So, don't vote for Mitt	(38)
		I ask you Mr. Reid and Ms. Pelosi---What part of this sounds good to you?	(215)
		Rep. John Shimkus (R) -Etard, compares the war in Iraq to a tie baseball game between the St. Louis Cardinals and the Chicago Cubs. For his next trick, he'll walk into a supermarket, point at a scanner and go "Whuh?"	(46)
(Patriot Ledger)		Highway contractor defrauds government with false invoices, learns at trial that he could have declared a cost overrun and gotten pretty much anything he wanted legally	(22)
		Massachusetts may require dogs in cars to wear seat belts and regulate pit bulls like guns	(102)
(Investor's business daily)		Senator Dianne Feinstein may have directed 1.5 billion in government contracts to her husband. That's billion with a B	(122)
		Old and busted: "I'm the Decider" New hotness: "I'm the Commander Guy"	(113)
		Coming up with a completely original idea, Sen. Biden wants to divide Iraq into three regions	(28)
		The US Army has cracked down on soldiers sending emails or posting blogs without first clearing the content with a superior officer. That Freedom you're supposedly fighting for? Not yours	(233)
		New Jersey's first openly gay governor has found a new calling: He wants to become a priest	(68)
		Australian senator apologizes after calling the opposition leader's womb a barren and rocky place where his seed could find no purchase	(11)

		Mike Gravel: “That one is real simple, I would legalize marijuana.You should be able to buy that at a liqour store.”	(102)
		Congress was all like "You have to do what we say." Bush was all, "Nuh uh, Veto pen" So Congress was like, "Watch this." Bush was all, "You fail." Ah, democracy	(419)
(Some Guy)		Point: "Illegal Immigrants are Marxists who control the media, and they're working with Satan to destroy America", Counterpoint: "WTF?"	(86)
(Postcards)		Hillary Clinton to explain why her name is on D.C. madam's list	(27)
		Illinois passes statewide smoking ban. Rockford heard planning a move to Wisconsin, rest of state says don't let the door hit you	(536)
		Scientists protest Bush Administration's interpretation of the Endangered Species Act, which essentially embraces "a day late and a manatee short" attitude	(13)
		Today's "Bush Administration official resigning after overruling scientists and leaking documents to lobbyists" story is brought to you by the Department of the Interior	(30)
		Further proving that the term has lost all meaning, Vatican refers to comedian's criticism of pope as "terrorism"	(135)
		Polar ice caps melting 30 years ahead of experts' predictions. Which either means that global warming is getting worse, or the experts don't know what they're talking about and are making numbers up as if their jobs depend on it	(68)
		Jesse Jackson has announced his latest shakedown victims... er, he is going to target oil companies on diversity, that is	(123)
		Mullahs freak out after the Iranian president kisses a woman on the hand. Fatwa issued against Asinine tag	(134)
		Whatever Saddam wanted from the U.S. military, he got. Bet he wished for a neck made of steel	(36)
		"At some point, politically sophisticated conservatives will have to recognize... that their only choice is to support the most conservative Democrat for the nomination. Call me crazy, but I think that person is Hillary Clinton"	(70)
		Bush's remarks to the nation on why he vetoed the Defeatocrats "date-certain-for-surrender" bill	(116)
		Gatewood Galbraith is running for governor of Kentucky on a platform of state-owned casinos and $5K vouchers to high school grads; is also undamaged by an autobio that talks about how he lost his virginity at a college party	(6)
		Prince Charles godwins climate change. (You know who else hated the climate?)	(8)
(Dissident Voice)		These politician-speak translations are doubleplusungood	(14)
		Dracula and Mary Poppins fight to rule France. Nobody surrenders	(47)
		If it walks, talks and smells like a federal ID card, well then, it must be a federal ID card	(140)
(Indiana University)		Indiana University finds Bill O'Reilly's "No Spin Zone" full of spin, namecalling. Obvious tag used in lieu of "No sh*t, Sherlock" tag. O RLY?	(18)
		As Bush prepares to use his veto power for only the second time, it's time for a look back at some of history's memorable presidential vetoes	(29)
(Some Guy)		The United States' most successful diplomat to Syria is hailed by them as "Good American" Pelosi	(57)
		Edwards doesn't really want to be President - He REALLY wants to be a millworker	(17)
(Some Guy)		Marion Barry suggests putting toll gates around D.C. and charging entry fees. The rest of city council suggests he put down the crack pipe	(120)
(Some Guy)		Hotel places Al Gore's book in night stand instead of Bible. Suck it, Gideons	(121)
		Number of secret search warrants issued in 2006: 2,176. Number of search warrants denied: One	(212)
(TMZ)		Former CIA Director George Tenet and his high school classmate, Ron Jeremy (with pics)	(22)
		George Will suggests that the Iraq war could be a foreign policy equivalent of the Depression, forfeiting the Republican advantage on national security issues they've had since '68	(40)
(10News)		Presidential candidates asked what they would bring to a desert island. Tom Tancredo says he would bring a boat. Thanks for defeating the purpose of the question, Tom	(52)

		President Bush breaks out his veto crayon, takes a bite, and draws a frownie face on the Emergency Iraq Spending Bill	(1101)
		The Huffington Post wants you to know that the press is the scapegoat for everything that goes wrong. In related news, submitter's "Check Engine" light came on today. Damn that mainstream media	(75)
		Fair-trade coffee doesn't help poor farmers, no matter how good liberals feel about themselves when they buy it	(79)
		According to this article, no one got upset about the partial-birth abortion ruling last week because the New York Times wants to outlaw premarital sex. Then the article gets weird	(265)
		Protesters demand reprieve for 12-million illegal immigrants in the U.S. No word on how the media would cover this if they were supporting a reprieve for criminals who committed pretty much any other crime	(673)
		Happy May Day. How will you help the proletariat overcome the oppression of the bourgeoisie today? Voting enabled	(300)
(White House)		Not so fast, commies. May 1 is Loyalty Day in the U.S. Hail Lord Bush	(281)
		Today is the fourth anniversary of Bush standing under a banner proclaiming "Mission Accomplished." Bush declared with gusto, "In the battle of Iraq, the United States and our allies have prevailed"	(495)
		McCain wants a "League of Democracies." France, you will be the invisible guy. Australia, you are the wise-cracking strong man. Mexico, you will be the sultry cat burglar. Places people, places	(143)
(Some Guy)		Mitt Romney's favorite book is a bizzare and poorly-written work of fiction by a cult leader. No, not the Book of Mormon. That other one	(26)
		Repeal of online-gambling prohibition deserves passage in Congress … but don't bet on it happening	(16)
		When confronted by people hoping to end "extraordinary rendition," Congressman Rohrabacher (R-idiculous) explodes, saying, "I hope it's your family that suffers the consequences"	(35)
		So like, a bunch of people got blown up in Iraq and these one dudes were like "HAHA WE KILLED AL-KADA #2", but then Al-Qaeda got on its blog was all like "Nuh-uh"	(51)
(WND)		Pat Buchanan blames Virginia Tech shooting, other massacres, on our country's immigration policies and failures	(40)
(Some Guy)		Deportation hit record levels last year. Now, raise that amount by 100 times and we might, just might get rid of that pesky illegal immigrant problem... and then we harvest lettuce with John McCain	(10)
		On today's episode of "Your Tax Dollars at Work": Al-Hurra, the taxpayer-financed Arab TV network and Holocaust denier	(10)
		Of the hundreds of thousands Iraqis fleeing the country, 68 were officially admitted as refugees in the U.S. in the last six months -- 1,339 refugees from Cuba were accepted during the same time span	(29)
		Gas prices being jacked up way earlier this year, already averaging nearly $3 a gallon. Way to go, Democrats	(61)
(Hot Air)		Actor and next president Fred Thompson enjoyed getting a lot of trim when he was single	(54)
(Some Guy)		American translator fired after translating French presidential candidate's promise "to rally my inflated ego so that we can build that dream." With screen cap of TV transmission	(98)
		On the four-year anniversary of Bush's victory speech, Baghdad is in near anarchy and the surge is not changing anything	(660)
		Venezuela nationalizes their oil industry, all but guaranteeing that there will be no more foreign investment while Chavez is in power	(466)
		Caption: What is Wolfowitz thinking?	(120)
(Some private number)		Take careful note: This is how a government works for the interests of the people: Calling mobiles in NZ will soon be cheaper -- by law	(22)
(Las Vegas Sun)		Zombie senator returns to Washington. Braaaains....	(5)
		Jailed politicians use cellphones to woo voters from jail	(4)
		Chavez pulls out of IMF and World Bank, soon to join Axis of Evil instead. Pat Robertson available for comment	(42)

		Psst, buddy, wanna buy a slightly-used U.S. embassy? I got 29 of 'em, right here	(25)
(Some Guy)		Senator Inhofe (R-etarded) 2002: I believe Saddam has nuclear WMDs. 2007: Media made up Iraq WMDs	(43)
		Tenet reveals that "several reliable sources" in the fall of 2001 stated that a small nuke was smuggled into the US	(100)
		Presidential candidates announce their fantasy jobs: Bill Richardson wants to be a Centerfielder for the Yankees, Dennis Kucinich wants to be an Astronaut, and Tom Tancredo wants to be President	(9)
		British Army Chief of Staff declares: 'Operation Bullet Magnet is back on'	(71)
		Supreme Court to man paralyzed while running from the police: "No you can't have a lawsuit. Not yours"	(182)
		Virginia governor closes gun loophole, practically guaranteeing that Seung-Hui Cho will never buy another gun	(160)
		Rudy "Drag Queen" Giuliani releases list of people who support him, regardless of whether they realize it or not	(31)
(Chattanoogan)		Judge Moon says Latinos should learn English. M-O-O-N, that spells judge	(45)
		Rights for women or Multiculturalism? You can't have both	(562)
(Rasmussen)		In March, Hillary Clinton had a double-digit lead over Barack HUSSEIN Obama. Now, Barack HUSSEIN Obama leads her by 2 points. What feeble man dare oppose the Hillary?	(205)
		Right-wing attack machine goes into overdrive in advance of George Tenet's tell-all book that slams the Bush administration. Obvious tag mutes Fox News just long enough to mutter "Duh"	(60)
		God, Cheney battle for Tony Snow. Cheney wins	(107)
(Some Guy)		George Tenet, nutless wonder	(43)
		Edwards says he would consider heavier taxes for the wealthy. Long enough to get elected anyway	(55)
(Reason Online)		The old saw about women earning 77 percent of what men make is a political statement that's easily debunked	(293)
(crooksandliars)		Other "administration officials" reportedly clients of the DC Madame. This is just starting to get interesting	(118)
(Red State)		If Osama bin Laden stood up and said 'Here's my timetable for withdrawing from Iraq'	(94)
		Free bagel with lap dance, while supplies last	(53)
(Brisbane Times)		Hillary Rodham Clinton would like for you to forget about that whole "using the maiden name" thing now	(35)
(C&L)		David Iglesias (R-espectable) goes on Real Time with Bill Maher to discuss the reasons for which he was fired (video in link)	(91)
(TaxFoundation)		Happy Tax Freedom Day. No, you can't have everything you've earned since January 1st. Not yours	(38)
		Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards said on Sunday he would consider raising taxes for the rich. And then he remembered he's rich	(42)
		Vietnam releases hundreds of prisoners to mark Reunification Day. Fortunately Gary Glitter wasn't one of them	(8)