Drew Curtis' FARK.com -- Politics Archives for '2007-03-25 23:59:59'

# of Comments

Arnold Schwarzegger urges candidates to go beyond their slogans, also that he will be back, and hasta la vista baby

(5)

4 out of 5 experts agree: TWAT has pernicious effects

(19)

(Some Thinker)

Atheists steal moral judgments passed to us by God and claim them as their own

(491)

John Edwards is discouraging sympathy votes that might pour in because of his poor, dying wife's breast cancer tragedy that may leave him a lonely widower with two young children to clothe and feed

(90)

Chuck Hagel starts casually dropping the I-Bomb

(31)

(Weekly Standard)

Time magazine, 2007: Ronald Reagan was great. Time magazine, 1987: Ronald Reagan sucks

(128)

(Forward)

Tom Delay (R-imjob) apologizes for corrupting government. Just kidding, he tags Democrats as "scoundrel...Hitler(s)", auto-Godwins

(118)

(BSAlert.com)

Bill Maher's New Rules: "Patriotism is like being well hung.. if you have to say it, you probably aren't."

(55)

Former White House Chief of Staff named N.H. town's hog wrangler. "If you need any hogs rounded up, call me."

(5)

Pennsylvania enters 1930's with debate over allowing beer sales in grocery stores

(34)

John Bolton totally pwned on an English program (video link)

(81)

Dick Cheney once again says Democrats don't support the troops and generally implies they are unpatriotic. You know who else used to do that to his political enemies? Hitler

(109)

South African independent expert goes before the UN security council and compares Israel's treatment of the Palestinians to apartheid, which is like the South African equivalent of a Godwin

(62)

Sat March 24, 2007:

# of Comments

President Bush hasn't seen majority approval in more than two years — the longest run without majority support for any president since Harry Truman from 1950-53

(108)

People beginning to argue that gasoline companies need to be regulated by the Federal Government because regulating their own gas usage is out of the question

(46)

Texas senator plans to give $500 to any woman who gets pregnant. Just stop by abortion clinic to pick yours up

(27)

(Great Falls Tribune)

Montana proposes doubling beer tax. 40 state senators to be kicked to curb in mourning

The Condi Diary or: How I learned to parlay my expertise in Sovietology into becoming the worst Secretary of State in history

(40)

(Panda's Thumb)

Intelligent design movement coming out with new textbook, "Exploring Evolution," which will "explain why information encoded in DNA points powerfully to a designing intelligence." RA-men

(74)

(CFP)

"There is no greater threat to America's future survival than the overall negative effect that modern-day feminism has had, and is having, upon our homes and churches."

(56)

Ministry of Truth 100% operational. AP story on CNN about "secret U.S. war games" that showed U.S. couldn't win Iraq war (even with 400,00 troops) wiped away from CNN and all other news sites. (try Google News search) War is Peace

(kos)

DailyKos agrees with Tony Snow: The constitution does not specify that congress has an oversight role over the executive

(96)

Given that over a quarter of the members of India's state assembly are facing criminal charges, it's not surprising that prisoners have started to run for office from their cells

(3)

High school students protesting classmates' suspensions over Facebook comments get a lesson from the police about the limits of free speech in Canada

(68)

Baltimore politicos do nothing ... and get paid more for it

(11)

Ex-Interior minister admits to lying, but denies that his pants currently are, or were at any time the past, on fire, so he will not "Suck his toe all the way to Mexico"

(14)

Gitmo Hilton to provide luxury accomodations two more years

(23)

Mitt Romney (R-etarded), 2003: "Salt Lake City is a better place because of Rocky (Anderson)." 2007: Rocky who?

(22)

Being the funniest Supreme Court justice "is like being one of the shortest tall people"

(22)

Fri March 23, 2007:

# of Comments

(TPM)

Over the last twenty-five years only ten US Attorneys have been dismissed other than at the beginning of a new president's term of office, including one for biting a stripper on the arm in a night club

(102)

White House spokesman Snow to have small growth removed from lower abdomen; says "It's probably just part of the mainstream media that crawled too far up my backside."

(67)

Smackdown from the people: Hillary Clinton asks, "How should I spend the oil companies excess profits?" America answers, "Try not taking them, this isn't the USSR, we believe in capitalism here"

(177)

(People's Daily)

What do the Holocaust and Ahmadinejad's visa to enter the United States have in common?

(136)

If you think anything negative about fat people because they are fat, Neil Cavuto just basically called you a racist anti-Semite Holocaust denier

(293)

Robert Novak not convinced that Plame was covert

(277)

(Corruption Chronicles)

The scandal that just won't quit: Highest-ranking Administration official criminally investigated in Abramoff corruption scandal admits he obstructed justice, concealed his relationship with Abramoff, repeatedly lied to Senate investigators

(54)

Statehood for DC is yet another attempt by politicians to ignore the constitution for cynical political reasons

(105)

Rudy Giuliani's wife says she loves her stepkids very much, especially when they clean the fireplace

(38)

Former governor of Arizona claims he saw a UFO while in office. Was also probed by the police while in office. Pardoned by the guy who used a cigar-shaped object as a probe. I'm sensing a theme, here

(90)

Bill Clinton finds an excellent new excuse to visit with women less than fully dressed

(21)

Defense Secretary Gates: "Why don't we close the Guantanamo prison?" Cheney, Gonzales: "Never. Bwahahahahahaha *pinky finger up to mouth*"

(24)

FCC may drop plan allowing cell calls in-flight due to... *shakes Magic 8-ball*... wireless industry comments about how they might disrupt ground networks. Uh-huh

(49)

Boxer to Inhofe: You can't spank Gore because you don't have this gavel. Not yours

(185)

Bolton admits to deliberately blocking peace efforts in the 2006 Israel-Lebanon conflict

(246)

U.S. Attorney, who wasn't fired, suggests reducing Jack Abramoff's sentence

(30)

Gates claims despite strains, U.S. could fight a third war. Watch out, Canada

(126)

U.S. court abolishes law that would prevent minors from looking at porn online. Looks like someone actually thought of the children for once

Remember the Iraqi ammo dump we failed to secure at the begining of the occupation, thereby turning them into insurgent Wal-Marts? Yeah, well, four years later, we still haven't gotten around to guarding them

(103)

Sydney city council moves to ban clothes dryers. Unsurprisingly, they're getting a little static over their proposal

(Huntsville Times)

How does a state legislature make people forget about the pay raise they just voted for themselves last week? Vote on raising the allowable alcohol content in beer from six percent to 14.9 percent

(126)

(The Age)

Keith Urban, recovering drug addict and country music star, could be the next prime minister of New Zealand

(15)

Thu March 22, 2007:

# of Comments

Department of Homeland Security's new HQ to be located in former insane asylum

(86)

(Zogby)

Zogby poll shows that anti-Hillary "1984" video backfired; 1/3 of Democrats are now 3x more likely to vote for her over Obama

(74)

Montana lawmaker has no idea how he ended up with a 0.14 BAC after having "a few drinks" at dinner

(79)

The only people who want Attorney General Gonzales gone are racists on both sides of the aisle, says level-headed syndicated columnist who says Gonzales is being "whacked like a piñata"

(78)

Florida ups the primary ante and will move the vote to Jan 29th. California yells "All in" and moves their primary to December of last year

(65)

Democratic Congressman temporarily barred from the floor of the House for questioning the decency of a Republican Congressman who is seeking to limit reconstruction funds for Katrina victims. No beads for you

(55)

"I'm not going to resign, I'm going to stay focused on protecting our kids," says Alberto Gonzales. Uh oh, them's shark jumpin' words

(49)

If only gay marriage caused global warming

(307)

Blogger's screw-up and lemming-like press outlets spread false news about Edwards campaign

(69)

Hamas TV broadcast today a video dramatization of the four-year-old daughter of female suicide bomber vowing to follow in her footsteps. The video clip ends as the little girl picks up sticks of explosives from her mother's drawer

(126)

Edwards to continue campaign, wife's cancer returns, Carlos' baby actually belongs to his evil twin brother, and someone is in a coma or something. Stay tuned for more

(297)

Barack Obama uncomfortably dodges question about whether homosexuality is immoral. Clinton campaign hoped to capitalize on this, but she did same thing on same day

(122)

So Bush is all like, "nuh uh" and the House was like, "subpoenowed" and now the Senate is all like "what they said, biatch"

(1656)

Twenty signs that Gordon Brown is turning into Stalin. Never heard of Gordon Brown? You will, tovaritch

(104)

Creator of Hillary "Big Sister" YouTube ad found to be Democratic staffer who worked for Internet firm contracted by Barack Obama campaign. That's Barack HUSSEIN Obama

(275)

George P. Bush chosen for intelligence unit of the Naval Reserves. "He will receive no special treatment, " lied a Navy spokesman

(52)

Lawmakers are going nuts passing nanny laws. Put down that doughnut and pull out those earbuds, schmuck. You wanted big government? You got it

(489)

"MySpace aims to 'impact' presidential race." Because if there's anyone we'd want to impact the elections, it's 12-year-olds, pedophiles, and dumbasses who post pictures of their pot plants

(15)

Creator of Hillary "Big Brother" video ID'd, moves into Vince Foster's old condo

(15)

"When historians sort out what happened to the U.S. in the 21st century, one of the mysteries will be why the press ganged up on Al Gore while giving his dimwitted Republican opponent a free pass"

(116)

New Bill Clinton book coming out in 2008. Publisher promises it will recreate the Clinton persona by being overhyped, turgid and ultimately devoid of truth

(21)

Republicans run up record deficits, and now Democrats want to extend tax cuts. What's next, PETA eating animals? NORML seeking criminaliztion of Nyquil? Al Gore wasting precious resources heating his home?

(Some Badger)

Wisconsin College Democrats encourage university students to "vote naked" in spring elections, promise to hold elections before Freshman 15 next time

Wed March 21, 2007:

# of Comments

(TPM)

Al Gore tears Rep. Joe Barton (R-TX) a new hole in his bozone layer

(201)

(Townhall)

Virginia newspaper equates gun owners with child molesters and publishes the names and addresses of all permit holders

(124)

Muslim students upset that Canadian universities aren't accommodating them by creating more prayer space, serving halal food and giving them interest-free loans

(120)

Tennessee State Senate gets down to its three most important agendas: Beastiality, guns and Justin Timberlake

(109)

Congresswoman says Walter Reed fiasco "overblown"; adds that Bush's Kool Aid is "really, really tasty"

(94)

(Dick Morris)

"The Democratic assault on the administration over the dismissal of United States attorneys is the most fabricated and phony of scandals, but the Bush people offer only craven apologies, half-hearted defenses, and concessions"

(488)

Al Gore still considered favorite for presidency even though he's not running

(77)

(Some disgusted citizen)

First 1800 hours or so of the new Democrat Congress and they are zero for six on accomplishing their initial goals. Meet the new congress, same as the old congress

(103)

The Governator dismisses Rush Limbaugh as "irrelevant". Getting dissed by Arnold Schwarzenegger: priceless

(152)

If the 2008 presidential election were held on YouTube, Barack Obama would win in a landslide, along with that naked guy who takes a taser to the happy sack

(114)

(Kos)

Bush press secretary Tony Snow: "Executive privilege is a dodge" or at least that is what he said on FoxNews when Clinton was president

(255)

The Communist Party donates its archives to its comrades at NYU

(14)

Utah backs calls to boot boobies & weeners from Port 80

(27)

(Rush)

In the absence of facts to support thier claims, the whacko enviro libs have stooped to creating phony pics of Plolar Bears to advance thier left wing agenda

(82)

In new book, DeLay places the blame for his misdeeds squarely where it belongs -- on everyone except himself

(22)

Source of internet attack on Hillary is a mystery. Looks like someone has never seen a Fark comments thread

(17)

After two days of early voting, strip club king Joe Redner is packing the poles, err, polls for runoff to Tampa City Council

(4)

Tue March 20, 2007:

(Business & Media Institute)

# of Comments

Four years ago today was the first day of the Iraq invasion. Farkers debated whether it was a good idea or not. See what we were saying here

(775)

North Korea now refuses to join nuke talks

(159)

John Edwards claims his mega-mansion is carbon neutral. Magic beans, anyone?

(143)

The new Iraq War bill has more pork in it than submitter's mom gets a month. Suck it, us

(176)

Karl Rove will talk to the Congress. Just not under oath. And he won't lie, either

(345)

MSNBC and CNN mention Iraq anniversary more than any other outlets to highlight failures and push a liberal agenda. Or... Fox News mentions Iraq anniversary less than other outlets to hide failures and push right-wing agenda. You decide

(117)

Springtime: When the daffodils bloom, birds fly north and Mayor Ray Nagin announces the latest plot of Whitey to get him

(293)

Obama draws an enthusiastic crowd in Oklahoma, presumably because no one there has ever seen a black man before

(54)

(Washington Times)

NASA scientist kept from media by Bush Administration. Except for the 1,400 times he wasn't

(53)

(Pittsburgh Live)

Luke Ravenstahl(D-runk), 27 year old Mayor of Pittsburgh, takes private jet to New York City, gets so wasted he forgets where he had dinner and slept

(99)

Politicians confused by amatur political ads popping up on Youtube

(105)

(Human Events)

Five reasons to be hopeful about America's future - by Newt Gingrich

(108)

Tories open up 15-point lead in UK polls. Suck it, Laubors

(DailyKos)

If Fox News wants to convince democrats they would be treated fairly in a debate, they might want to consider not editing transcripts to make John Kerry look silly. Besides, Kerry can do that just fine on his own

(138)

White House searching for Gonzales replacement

(39)

(NYTimes)

Iran: Give us Uranium. Russia: Suck it

(35)

Mon March 19, 2007:

(The Intelligence Summit)

# of Comments

Lieberman says he might switch from Democrats to Republicans, Rachael Ray to Giada

(322)

(Crooks and Liars)

Former Rep. Tom Delay (R-evolting) gets his not-yet prison-violated ass handed to him by a retired three-star admiral on "Meet the Press"

(174)

San Francisco radio station surprised when some of its listeners thought it wasn't nice to say Christians are all bigoted fascists. "I thought our audience was more open-minded and tolerant than that"

(185)

Georgia governor skeptical about slavery apology, indoor plumbing

(364)

British MPs about to accidentally outlaw motorcycle racing and motoring museums

(65)

Barack Obama wows Denver crowd, is asked what team he plays for

(111)

Barack Obama plays role of the "Magic Negro" movie stereotype. That makes Hillary Clinton the "Angry White Career Woman" and Dennis Kucinich the "Munchkin Mayor"

(405)

White House hopes that Alberto Gonazles stays, setting stage for Friday annoucement from AG that he is resigning "for the good of the administration"

(25)

(Lileks)

Farker Lileks goes to anti-war protest, takes pics, goofs with earnest protestors

(124)

(WND)

When a Chicago radio host tried to trademark the phrase "It's an Obamanation" the federal government mysteriously sent him "disgusting" sexual photos and text as part of its rejection

(139)

Valerie Plame testifies she was so incredibly covert that she herself still doesn't know what her own legal status was

(412)

High ranking Iranian military officers keep disappearing. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad vows retaliation, stomps angry little feet

(109)

Was Clinton more economically and fiscally conservative than Bush?

(66)

Speechwriter position open in Romney campaign. Must have excellent writing skills and understand not to insert a quote by Fidel Castro into a speech delivered in Miami. Salary negotiable

(137)

You can take the gun out of the criminal's hands, but you can't take the criminal out of the... uh... anyway, knife crime in London is on the rise. In 2010, headline will read, "Caveman-style clubbing crimes increase"

(76)

(kos)

Smart money is on executive privilege being invoked by Bush on Tuesday

(68)

John McCain says that, if elected, he would immediately close Guantanamo Bay, move all the prisoners to Fort Leavenworth, and truly expedite the judicial proceedings in their cases. It's like "justice" or something

(50)

While public schools are becoming crappier and crappier, charter schools are doing well even in poor areas. But school vouchers are a stupid idea

(261)

If you're that guy who hasn't lost faith in the governor of Massachusetts, remember to tell your friends all about his plan to raise corporate taxes

(20)

NYT columnist Kristof wonders why American politicians don't dare to criticize Israel. Resignation and forced apology in three... two...

(76)

CBS is ready to call the 2008 Democratic Race based upon hard data: "Sen. Hillary Clinton's MySpace page listed some 359 friends; Sen. Barack Obama's page had 66,080 friends."

(36)

(The Moscow Times)

Art exhibit depicting Mickey Mouse and Lenin in place of Jesus somehow angers those most likely to take offence at such things

(16)

Why we cannot trust juries, and should abolish the jury trial

(68)

Hillary Clinton makes rare public appearance with husband Bill at New York fundraiser. Rarer still: he was wearing pants