Drew Curtis' FARK.com -- Politics Archives for '2007-02-18 23:59:59'

# of Comments

Genuflect, libs. Report states that the preparations to strike Iran are complete, so might as well get a head start on the sucking

(70)

After spending 42 years at #1, The Vietnam War slips down a notch to #2

(26)

(Hot Air)

Brit Hume biatchslaps John Murtha: "This guy is long past the day when he had anything but the foggiest awareness of what the heck is going on in the world."

(87)

Uncharacteristically lucid and intelligent commentary on the Sunni/Shi'a divide brought to you by Fox News. Wait .. what??

(89)

Apple CEO Steve Jobs: "I believe that what is wrong with our schools in this nation is that they have become unionized in the worst possible way."

(408)

(AL.com)

"Think about the things we worry about in Huntsville today: gun violence, drug use, school taxes...Is a sex toy shop anywhere on our radar? Have we seen even one headline saying, Sex toy linked to crime spree?"

(42)

Hillary can't win? Don't kid yourself

(738)

Remember Rep. William Jefferson - the guy caught with $90,000 in his freezer amid a bribery probe? Pelosi's putting him on the Homeland Security panel

(333)

Condoleeza Rice shaves her head bald, gets tattoo, and prepares for Mideast summit

Hillary Clinton calls for Iraq pullout within 90 days, calls for Bill to pull out before she gets home

(39)

(The Largest Minority)

Bill Maher interviews Democratic candidate John Edwards on his plan that honesty is the best policy. This may be the first time in history a presidential candidate is at a disadvantage for being a white guy

(31)

Bush expected to nominate anti-safety regulation lobbyist to head Consumer Product Safety Commission. Forks soon to fit more easily into electrical sockets

(201)

(Volokh)

John McCain's campaign website is done in a gray theme, which of course prompts Atrios and the usual left-wing asshats to call it "nazi iconography"

(37)

Sat February 17, 2007:

# of Comments

Cancer joins pretzels as no threat to the President

(118)

Radio talk-show host on gospel station says Scientology enhances his Christianity. Wait till he gets to the part with the volcanoes

(112)

If the Anti-Christ were to suddenly appear in America, what state do you suppose he would choose to visit first?

(84)

Not content with aligning himself wth the ID crowd, John "Maverick" McCain now supporting abstinence-based sex ed initiatives

(72)

UN to decide who will be in charge when an asteroid hits the Earth

(149)

Japanese military uses anime-styled mascots to attract public support. "This could only happen in a country that is so open to immaturity," says author

(41)

How some children who love Jesus are being instructed in the War Against Christianity; includes fun monkeypics

(164)

Bush has two moles removed from forehead; other two remain on White House staff

(42)

An important message about February, from the Decider

(20)

(dailykos)

From the people who brought you "Intelligent Design" and "War on Christmas" comes their new hit "The Sun Revolves Around the Earth"

(480)

In what is sure to be the best move in relations with N. Korea ever, a bunch of American fashion "experts" give Kim Jong Il a makeover by doctoring photographs. Bonus: Commentary from the fashion experts

(13)

Aaron Russo tells you why the IRS has no authority to collect taxes, why the Federal Reserve is a joke, and that America is controlled by corporate masters. The only thing not included is a cabin in Montana

(23)

Senator Joe Biden, campagning in Iowa, unveils his plan on how to lose in Iraq

(19)

Democratic hopefuls go to Hollywood seeking cash, associate producer credit

(7)

Fri February 16, 2007:

# of Comments

(US News & World Report)

Bush is bringing the GOP to its knees. Suck it, cons

(50)

Liquor, fundamentalists, and Palestine together at last on film. (Not safe for work language)

(51)

Greeting card company removes an eCard from its website depicting House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and other leading Democrats wearing 'bondage'-related clothing, admits it has been very bad, needs punishment

Rudy Giuliani is not the only presidential candidate running around in drag. Behold: McCain sings Streisand

(10)

"The words 'I support the troops' are now solely for those who oppose what the troops are doing"

(65)

(Wonkette)

Anti-gay Mass(hole) State Senator who read kids' obscenity laden Facebook messages at school assembly did a Playgirl style centerfold back in 1982. But it was totally straight. Not gay

(324)

(Gallup)

Majority of Americans wouldn't vote an atheist for president

(97)

(Post Tribune)

Latest textual fellation of Obama calls him the new JFK. Hopefully without the same ending

(25)

Excitement abounds as Obama's "Excuse Me While I Kiss This Baby" tour arrives in South Carolina

(20)

Pelosi wrongly assumes Bush would need congressional approval for Iran invasion

(41)

(WaPo)

Columnist in liberal paper claims that Bush is making a comeback, readers' heads asplode

(25)

Cold-hearted Bush Administration clearly to blame for 1908 law that takes money out of hands of dead soldier's orphans' guardians

(10)

Pelosi: "The days of blank checks for President Bush are over." And the days of non-binding resolutions have just begun

(21)

Jeb Bush is helping Mitt Romney with his campaign staff, secret underpants

(8)

In another step towards furthering their campaign promises, Dems to pass their first piece of symbolic, do-nothing legislation: non-binding censure of the Iraq war

(424)

(Washington Post)

Filipino hottie Michelle Malkin has replaced Anne Coulter as America's sexiest right-wing propagandist

(390)

Congress proposing a bill to block Wikipedia from schools. Because everyone knows we have to protect our children from the dangers of encyclopedias and stuff

(78)

Walter Mondale's boyhood home for sale on eBay. Seller only managed to get offers from Minnesotans, everyone else bid on Reagan's home

(59)

(Real Clear Politics)

"Leadership" issue plays to Giuliani's strength. "Not sticking your weener in other women while still married" issue plays to his weakness

(35)

(Albuquerque Trib)

January 2007 the warmest January on record. Suck it, humans

(89)

(Times Dispatch)

Apparently, Obama isn't black because his ancestors weren't slaves. Malcom X unavailable for comment

(57)

(Wonkette)

John Edwards goes for the critical flying penis vote

(5)

(Crooks & Liars)

With boths sides resting, here's a simple recap of the Scooter Libby trial: all roads lead to the White House

(258)

Rudy Giuliani's travel rider. TSG is there

(108)

(NY Daily News)

New York Catholic leaders slam NY's plan to distribute 18 million free condoms, noting that a grown man can't get a little boy pregnant anyway so what's the point?

(377)

According to John "Boner", House Minority Leader, 70 percent of Americans are "terrorist sypathizers"

(43)

Genius historical citations continue in congress. Imagine, if you will, how bad things would have gone at the Alamo if the government told Crockett we wouldn't be providing any more troops. Thank God that didn't happen

(283)

Tired of YouTube clips of GOP congressmen making asses of themselves over the Surge resolution? How about a Democrat bringing it?

(69)

Deciding that broadcast TV hasn't been made boring enough yet, report calls for FCC to regulate violent content on TV the same way as sexual content

NBC war analyst Ken Allard puts his money where his mouth is; resigns his post in reaction to declining quality and objectivity of NBC news war reporting

(53)

North Dakota legislators reject bill honoring U2's Bono after realizing Cher was not awarded a ribbon, too

(9)

(The Progressive)

Death threats for Republican councilman who won’t stand during the Pledge of Allegiance

(66)

In latest battle to see who can more effectively wipe their ass with Constitution, Pelosi says President cannot use military to invade Iran. What's next - Bush saying Congress can't smoke in thier offices?

(77)

Margaret Thatcher finally gets an erection

(75)

Justice Department leaks its own talking points to reporters. Rule number one about the talking points is...

(kos)

Republican Congressman on House floor calls for execution of Democrats (with video)

(116)

Thu February 15, 2007:

# of Comments

From today's '10 years late and a pound short' file comes the warning that Britain becoming 'decivilised'

(18)

Mayorial candidate boosts campaign by putting up poster of male genitals with the words "ëat me" on it

(53)

Republican Congressman: If we don't do the troop surge, US currency will read "In Muhammad We Trust". Is there a hyperbole tag?

(78)

(Iowahawk)

Conservative review of Fox News' new "Daily Show" parody. Now THIS is funny

(106)

(The Moscow Times)

Russia shocked and appalled that Estonia wants to remove monument celebrating Red Army's occupation

(Some Suckin Lib)

An argument for a "painful" tab: Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter attempting skit comedy

(78)

Bush: NATO obliged to send 'additional help' to Afghanistan...translation: fix my mess

(24)

(Some Progressive chick)

Man, you really think you know your white Jewish boyfriend with tendencies for black supremacy

(22)

(Telegraph)

The smoking gun of Iranian support for Iraqi insurgents... literally. "Austrian sniper rifles exported to Iran have been discovered in the hands of Iraqi terrorists"

(377)

(Some gun grabber)

In the wake of the Philadelphia shooting, Rep. Carthy (D-umbassNY) wants to ban guns completely different than the gun used in the shooting. Bonus: She refers to a semiautomatic pistol as an "AK-47 assault rifle"

(965)

(SurveyUSA)

Senator steamrolls Stuart Smalley in poll. Norm Coleman: Good enough, smart enough and people like him

(70)

Auditors say $10 billion has been squandered in Iraq. Submitter wonders how they missed the other $500 billion

(183)

(Lifenews)

Clearly unfamiliar with recent Republican primary history, Giuliani believes he'll get the Republican nod despite being pro-life

(66)

Muqtada al-Sadr's supporters insist he is not hiding out in Iran, despite reports. They're not sure just where he IS hiding out, but they're pretty sure it's not in Iran. Dick Cheney nods approvingly from an undisclosed location

(86)

Plan A predicted 5,000 troops in Iraq at this point. That's 5,000 total, not 5,000 more

(295)

(Citizens for Ethics)

As the people who bribed Randy "Duke" Cunningham are being charged, fun new information is coming to light: "Wilkes arranged for the Congressman to get a different prostitute for the second evening"

(18)

Cheney finally starts threatening to veto bills, since Bush has proven himself incapable

(50)

La ciudad de Nevada abroga ley del inglés solamente

(268)

Ronald Reagan was right: "I believe the very heart and soul of conservatism is libertarianism"

(200)

Chicago mayor says decision to declare a snow emergency and send extra 750 workers out with shovels had "nothing to do" with the fact election day is two weeks away. And if you can't trust a Chicago politician, who can you trust?

(111)

Noted political commentator Noel Gallagher calls Tony Blair "president" and urges Britons not to bother voting any more

(33)

Osama, Obama ... it's all the same for editor Freud of the NY Post

(119)

Doesn't matter what happens in Scooter Libby's trial because Bush is ready to give him a presidential pardon before the judge is even finished speaking

(133)

(Some WFAA Guy)

Teaching evolution is an unconstitutional establishment of religion

(256)

Wed February 14, 2007:

# of Comments

Bush admits he has no evidence connecting Iran to insurgent activities, reverses position on just about everything. Flip flop much?

(451)

Dubya: Relationship with Putin is complicated. He like, totally doesn't text me back sometimes and won't even say why, but I love him anyway

(19)

City commission candidate sends letter to Christian church imploring them not to let his Jewish opponents win

Rep. Keith Ellison (D-Nanny State) summons the police on Rep. Tom Tancredo (R-Bigpollution) to make him stop smoking in his office. The Quran and Islam get worked into this story, of course

(50)

Non-binding resolutions abound: EU politely asks CIA to stop kidnapping its citizens

(22)

Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy says it's not enough that federal judges already earn more than 95% of Americans. Will someone please think of the poor, starving judges?

(49)

Newsweek declares that capitulating on North Korea "makes the world safer." Not like last time, when we did this same thing and they forged millions of highly accurate $100's, or used the money to invest in a nuclear program

(32)

John "Excuse Me While I Whip This Out" Edwards calls for Iraq troop cap

(81)

Al Franken to run for Minnesota Senate Seat. He hasn't actually said it yet, even though the article does say he did

(54)

Al Gore "Am I hot or not?"

(46)

If you're "Afghan-looking," the Canadian military would like to hire you for, um, target practice

(8)

(Tallahassee Democrat)

"Florida's the ATM for presidential candidates; they take our money and go to Iowa and New Hampshire to spend it"

(Some Leftwing Leftist Liberal)

Washington Times honors the birthday of Abraham Lincoln by making up fake quotes saying congressmen should be hanged for speaking without permission

(34)

Rep. Lamar Smith (R-Orwell) introduces bill requiring ISPs to save all data on their customers' internet use, including login names emails, IMs and website history

(77)

(WISTV.com)

Conservative Christian Republican spearheads bill legalizing medical marijuana after wife of 36 years dies agonizing death. Hero and Sad tags blaze one and hug it out

(93)

The faux outrage over Obama's "wasted" remark has officially reached Nipplegate proportions, with Michelle Malkin and NRO joining forces in a battle for the soul of the nation

(313)

Second Edwards blogger quits under pressure. If you can't stand the heat get back in the kitchen

(46)

Gurbanguly Berdimuhammedow wins Turkmenistan elections as well as the world record for silliest name

(20)

At press conference, Bush says talks with Iran "wouldn't lead anywhere." Just like they led nowhere a few days ago in North Korea. But hey, you can't accuse him of not trying

(481)

The NSA is in ur blog, classifying ur dataz

(44)

Lawmakers cancel Global Warming hearing due to ice storm

(23)

(Firedoglake)

Before Bill Donohue took on the secular liberal BlogoHeretics, he led a all out campaign against another anti-Catholic "atrocity": French onion dip

(54)

(IC Press Citizen)

Less than 15% of voters vote in special election. But "the people have spoken"

(32)

Barack Obama had a bad habit of voting "present" on controversial bills during his tenure in the Illinois Legislature

(258)

.. and Iran, Iran so far away

(47)

(Vote Hemp)

Representative Ron Paul introduces the Industrial Hemp Farming Act of 2007, here comes the madness

(57)

Tue February 13, 2007:

# of Comments

(Bombing Syria in 3...)

Straight from the Department of "What could possibly go wrong": Syrian terrorist organization says they are holding a kidnapped Israeli soldier as hostage

(27)

US military tells Jack Bauer: Cut out the torture scenes ... or else

(59)

"Get cheap oil from a dictator and sworn enemy of the US or have integrity? Screw the integrity, I'm a Kennedy. Send me the cheap oil, Señor"

(90)

Bush to nominate Fraker as envoy to Saudi Arabia. For only $5 more, he could have had a TotalFraker

(37)

Hours after re-introducing his patient's rights bill, U.S. Rep. Charlie Norwood (R) will no longer be needing it

(310)

(Michelle Malkin)

Right-wing bloggers get their pound of flesh, chewing the tender liberal meat heartily as one of John Edwards' bloggers resigns. Napkin?

(198)

If the world won't do anything about Iran's nuclear weapons program, Israel will. And they probably won't worry about collateral damage

(121)

Pace questions whether Iran arming Iraq, good salsa can come from New York City

(30)

(The Australian)

French President Chirac admits to having multiple affairs, saying he loved many women in his lifetime "as discreetly as possible." Is not impeached, but writes book about it

(64)

Cheney aide admits "real possibility" of U.S. invasion of Iran in 2007

(977)

Now it's personal: Al Qaeda calls Bush an alcoholic liar. May just be fishing for a TotalFark sponsorship

(385)

We're actually fighting four wars in Iraq, and the only way to win any single one is to lose the others

(109)

(Jpost.com)

Unless you're a freelance international rioter, now is not a good time to take a vacation to Jerusalem

(26)

Because it’s no fun just angering possibly nuclear nations, U.S. Defense Secretary Robert Gates goes after the Russians by grouping them with the likes of Iran and North Korea. Time to break out the “duck and cover” videos again

Neocon rush to blame Iran screwed up some key details, like using mortar rounds with Gregorian dates stenciled in English. Time for Plan B, rarely used Silly tag

(94)

Mon February 12, 2007:

# of Comments

Camilla to undergo hysterectomy, guaranteeing she will not be able to foal next monarch

(70)

Plamegate: 25 lingering questions

(56)

(Blue Jersey)

Tomorrow, Senators Chris Dodd (D-CT) and Robert Menendez (D-NJ) will introduce bill to restore habeus corpus rights, ban torture and uphold the Geneva Conventions. Suck it, Dubya

(159)

White House slams carpooling, new road fees would be better. Hey, Chimpy, we already have road fees, they are called gasoline taxes. Comprendes?

(59)

Bush supports the troops, at least until they get hurt -- new budget cuts VA funding

(84)

(washington post)

People want to see the Supreme Court on TV, hearing cases during the day and maybe living together at night and singing folk songs

(12)

House Dems ready to pass resolution that does nothing except mildly disapprove of Bush's "troop surge." In related news, priests called to Capitol Hill to exorcise the rematerialized ghost of the Do-Nothing Congress

(291)

Al Gore leads Mitt Romney by 11 points, according to the Bureau of Election Statistics About People Who Aren't Actually Running. In related news, Spider-Man outpolls Barack Obama 10 to one

(137)

Reporter Walter Pincus reveals Ari Fleischer leaked Valerie Plame's identity. Thankfully, Fitzpatrick can now prosecute Fleischer... I see what you did there

(391)

Having plunged to the low 30s, Bush's approval rating now skyrockets to 41 percent. Well, no one's saying "skyrocket," but "plunged" is still okay

(418)

One in three British households depends on the government for at least half of its income. Socialism? In my UK? Its more likely than you think

(56)

Was Giuliani a bum on 9/10/01?

(245)

Old German man, angry at airport security, shows his anger by dropping his lederhosen and showing his kielbasa

(84)

National Review: More blacks in conservative movement would benefit entire nation

(73)

States are cutting off their noses to spite their faces -- less money from tobacco taxes because they keep banning smoking and increasing taxes so one can afford to smoke

(321)

Congressman is sorry about missing important votes in order to play golf in five of the past seven years

(66)