Drew Curtis' FARK.com -- Politics Archives for '2007-02-04 23:59:59'

# of Comments

A million dollars is what it will takes to make it into Hillary’s top tier of fundraisers. That’s 10 times what George W. Bush charged for membership in his top tier, and he even provided a Presidential pardon

(41)

In an effort to set record for shortest presidential candidacy ever, John Edwards announces plan to raise taxes

(50)

John McCain accuses Iraq resolution supporters of being intellectually dishonest

(38)

Presidential candidate John Edwards wants $120 billion more of your earnings to give health insurance to Americans who don't have it or don't want it

(47)

US soldier to go on trial Monday for refusing to go to Iraq, wants to stay stateside to protect the US from Mooninites

(464)

There are plans in the works for a North American Union that would ease immigration and close the "income gap" between Mexico and the U.S. and Canada

(63)

Caption Al Franken on his book tour

(129)

(Denton RC)

"Ann Coulter was greeted like a rock star at the annual Lincoln-Reagan Dinner on Saturday night as she delivered a fiery speech, denigrating Democrats from Barack Obama to Jimmy Carter"

(132)

Rudy Giuliani says "there's a real good chance" he will run for president. And by "real good chance", he means will. And by "run", he means lose

(46)

Sat February 03, 2007:

# of Comments

(Some Soldier)

A letter from an NCO in Baghdad to his father

(72)

Colorado lawmakers very upset about not getting free stuff anymore

(82)

Bush has developed a fixation with Harry Truman. Look out, Japan

(31)

Some of the greatest defenders of the Jews were Arabs

(251)

(Op Ed News)

Use your magical Tai Chi powers to stop an attack on Iran

(107)

Stagnant wages, the "savings rate" and other non-problems

(31)

Canadian Commies mass on our northern border. All 65 of them

(67)

Pentagon official -- who said law firms defending Gitmo prisoners are terrorist lovers whom US corporations should boycott -- resigns

(Alternet)

Today is the 60th anniversary of Everson v. Board of Education. Never heard of it? It's more important than you'd think

(30)

Spiffy: Tired of denying marriage licenses to gay couples, clerk starts issuing "Certificates of Inequality" at her own expense. Strange: "We don't just enforce laws, we're policy makers."

(145)

Woman refuses to move to the back of the bus, Supreme Court to review segregated bus policy

(172)

Suicide bomber kills 121 in Baghdad

(646)

Top Russian diplomat lashes out at the refusal of the Bush administration to talk to distasteful Middle Eastern countries. Adds, "You talk to us. What's difference?"

(16)

Contrary to its liberal image, Canada can deny people's civil rights with the best of 'em

(29)

Bush to seek an additional $100 billion for the war. Yes, with a B

(416)

How thin is the government case against Scooter? Two of the charges are based on the following from a reporters notes, "had somethine and about the wilson thing and not sure if it’s ever"

(112)

Democrats cut and run to Virginia resort to celebrate electoral win, avoid making any difficult decisions on like, the war and stuff

(28)

Fri February 02, 2007:

# of Comments

Texas governor orders all schoolgirls vaccinated against cooter warts. YA RLY

(556)

London Times review of Microsoft Vista. Surprisingly, it takes a whole two paragraphs before Bush and the Iraq war are mentioned

(46)

GOP then: "The filibuster is undemocratic and we are prepared to exercise the nuclear option." GOP now: "We are prepared to filibuster." The more things change, the more they stay the same

(62)

(Washington Times)

Nancy Pelosi wants permission for F-16s to rush her botoxed butt back and forth to her district

(59)

Senate Democrats, obviously forgetting which party they belong too, urge FCC to crackdown even further on television and radio "decency standards"

(124)

Corrupt mayor of Macon, Georgia, converts to Islam, wants to change name from Jack Ellis to Hakim Mansour Ellis

(50)

W. Va. introduces bill that would allow deadly force to be used against law enforcement officer who enters home unannounced. What could possibly go wrong?

(326)

Michigan court rules that state universities can't offer health benefits to partners of gay employees because it violates the state constitution, and could lead to turtle humping

(202)

PM Tony Blair insists that repeated police questionings will not distract him, adding "You will have to - RED TERROR ALERT LOOK OUT, EVERYONE IT'S GONE UP TO RED"

(9)

(Instapundit)

"A Gulfstream III releases 10,000 pounds of carbon dioxide an hour. How can we demand 'sacrifice' from ordinary Americans when our leaders—including those who call for the sacrifice—are flying in jets like this?"

(204)

National Intelligence Council report claims situation in Iraq could get worse before it gets better. Also notes the sun may rise tomorrow, grass is most likely green, and submitter's mom may have slept with a couple guys in college

Actual Headline: Is Obama Black Enough?

(47)

Some 2008 White House power rankings for you all to argue over

(21)

Rush Limbaugh has been nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize

(143)

Citing our inability to get highly accurate figures in the past; Labor Dept. redefines what "employment" means. Unemployment set to drop tp 0% as standards drop to "has pulse, can mumble some broken English"

(60)

(The Progressive)

“The people are sovereign, not the President”

(276)

Apparently, the new trend in left-wing Canadian politics is naming your dog after international climate change treaties

(16)

Thu February 01, 2007:

# of Comments

Minimum-wage bill passes Senate without including Republican-demanded line-item veto measure. Apparently, Democrats don't want Bush to have the same powers that Republicans didn't want Clinton to have

(82)

(Courant.com)

The poll results are in on Chris Dodds' presidential campaign: "Laughable"

(21)

(Jerusalem Post)

Hugo Chavez, who recently received unlimited power-ups and 1,000 hit points, says George Bush is the dictator here

(91)

Ric Romero headline of the day: Iraqi deaths reach new high. Because they hit a new high everyday when someone dies

(55)

Bill Clinton's stepfather dies at 91. Republicans demand an investigation into his so-called "declining health in recent weeks"

SF mayor's aide Alex Tourk to Mayor Gavin Newsom: "Hey, boss, given this new revelation that you farked my wife, I'm sorry to say I can no longer run your re-election campaign"

(33)

"Dear teacher, please excuse Nhia's absence from school today for having a scheduled appointment with myself, The President of the United States of America"

(91)

Loans-For-Lordships scandal threatens to tear down Tony Blair and the Labour Party. Because apparently, in Britain, when an elected official betrays the public trust and breaks the law, they're held accountable, even the prime minister

(22)

Huffington Post is shocked, SHOCKED, that Iran is getting unfairly blamed for training insurgents in Iraq. Because we all know how Iran is spilling over with love and warm feelings toward the U.S.

(100)

Famed seer and prognosticator, Gen. Wesley Clark (D-umb), has divined that the the U.S. will attack Iran. His source material? Israeli press and Mel Gibson

(57)

Israel to move massive barrier deeper into Palestinian territory. It's not expansion, it’s a pre-emptive strengthening of defensive measures needed to neutralize and transfer terrorist threats to a growing nation

(137)

Bush: Economy's not bad, unemployment is low, growth is up. Democrats: It's the Second Great Depression and we're all gonna die

(112)

French President Jacques Chirac experimenting with drugs again: "I don't think I spoke about Israel yesterday. Maybe I did so but I don't think so. I have no recollection of that"

(26)

Al Franken to run for Senate in Minnesota

(123)

(Seacoast Online.com)

Maine wants to bar text messages while representatives are in session at the State House

(12)

Rep. Loretta Sanchez has quit the Congressional Hispanic Caucus, accusing the chairman, Rep. Joe Baca, of telling people she's a "whore." With pic of the alleged slut in question

(25)

GOP fears war could help Democrats for years. This of course implies that the war will still be going on for years, in which case the Dems will not have done what they were elected to do

(155)

(Bloomberg)

Pharmaceutical companies and Iraq war contractors, both heavy Republican contributors, are scrambling to hire lobbyists with Democratic ties as they prepare for congressional investigative hearings next week. Democracy for $ale

(68)

Georgia lawmakers move to make underage sex less illegal

(36)

Wed January 31, 2007:

# of Comments

In a move sure to be a big hit in the flyover states, Bush seeks to cut farm program funds

(86)

Canadian official warn medical tourists that Chinese organ transplants are unethical. Plus, you'll probably just end up wanting another liver an hour after your surgery is done

(11)

(Washington Post)

Obama freezes out Fox News

(135)

Germany issues warrants against U.S. agents for illegal kidnapping. Jack Bauer not available for comment

(45)

"President Bush" today criticized lavish CEO salaries and called for tying compensation to performance. Following the speech, he was arrested by Secret Service agents as "an obvious imposter"

(202)

Miami Cubans sad that they have to put their Castro death party plans on hold

(29)

(Think Progress)

When a major news outlet performs some basic journalism it can be startling, if only because it happens so rarely: NPR follows up with a soldier in Iraq to find out if he's satisfied with Bush's answer to his question

(77)

Venezuelan Congress grants Chavez power to enact by decree. First order of business: Hunt down all those damned rebel Jedi

(169)

(tmpcafe)

Joe Biden "compliments" Obama, but sounds like his quote went through Fark's filter: "I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy"

(168)

(Some terrorist lover)

Al Qaeda: "Hello Laura Logan of CBS, you've been so good to us before -- here is some footage of ours, we'd be pleased if you would show it on American television for us, KthanksBye." Laura Logan: "Slurp slurp slurp"

(124)

(Crooks & Liars)

Reports that John Kerry was "emotional," "choked up" and "tearful" during his announcement to not run for president again were complete media fabrications. Where's your "liberal-media bias" now?

(66)

Suspicionless searching of passengers has reduced terrorist attacks on Boston's subway system from zero to zero

(100)

"Is Barack Obama the second coming of our Savior and our Redeemer, Prince of Peace and King of Kings, Jesus Christ? His press coverage suggests we can't dismiss this possibility out of hand"

(106)

Anyone who can say, “The arguments of liberals are more often grounded in reason and fact” with a straight face should absolutely run for president

(197)

Attention-whore North Korea threatens another nuke test if the U.S. doesn't allow them to counterfeit U.S. money

(77)

A recent government audit has indicated there's a chance that the U.S. government might, possibly, if you look at it a certain way under a certain light with just the right goggles, be squandering money in Iraq

(84)

Coloradoans apparently not satisfied with the "make my day" law try to pass new law dubbed the "make my day better" law. Because sometimes, killing a home intruder just isn't enough

(150)

Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Oregon senator threatens filibuster blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

(33)

Joe Biden (D-DE) enters presidential race, officially leaving Daniel Kahikina Akaka (D-HI) the only Democratic senator not running in '08

(16)

(TPM)

Barack attack: Introduces bill to remove all troops from Iraq by March 2008

(104)

Cuba's leader Fidel Castro meets with Hugo Chavez, in a private meeting that was not previously publicized. Sure, theyre wearing the same clothes as they were three months ago, but who's cares about such little details as that

(55)

Tue January 30, 2007:

# of Comments

(wtol)

Democrats, having campaigned on not taking a raise, slip in "cost of living allowance." Republicans to Democrats: "Suck it"

(70)

Over 1000 Afghan civilians liberated from this mortal coil in 2006

Dennis Hastert has swollen and enflamed gall bladder removed. Which is understandable, because it certainly takes a lot of gall to claim a president who lied about a BJ deserves impeachment while one who lies us into a war doesn't

(100)

John McCain finds tough opponent for 2008... the 2000 version of John McCain

(25)

British PM sets up website where citizens can sign online petitions about issues of most concern to them. Such as "Ban broccoli as an edible foodstuff and reclassify it as a toxic substance"

(73)

(Library of Congress)

Bill introduced to "require all persons in the United States between the ages of 18 and 42 to perform national service." Arlo Guthrie surrenders

(257)

Hillary Clinton finds tough opponent for 2008... the 2003 version of Hillary Clinton

(48)

(Some Canuk via Boortz)

List of wait times for various procedures, etc. in Canada's socialized medical-care system

(144)

Support the war, or support the troops -- what exactly do these things mean? Well, let's ask them and see what they have to say

(138)

(Daily Kos)

John "Blew My Chances of Being Elected President by Allying Myself with Bush" McCain says that we're in Iraq forever and ever and ever

(140)

(realclearpolitics)

Democrat Ed Koch: The "celebrity protester" crowd is back

(29)

Specter says Bush "not sole decision-maker" before disappearing into eery, luminescent mist

(35)

Congressional survey of government researchers finds 435 separate incidents of political pressure from the Bush Administration to downplay global warming over the last five years

(211)

Iranian president Ahmadinejad might fall out of power if the U.S. doesn't do something stupid soon

(294)

(The Local)

Some old biddy in Sweden wants to ban swearing in public. Javla feeta

(19)

Paul Wolfowitz takes shoes off to enter Turkish mosque with holes in his socks (pic)

(33)

Farker is writing an inane men's magazine article on the world's hottest female politicians. Help him out and submit your nominees. Difficulty: Must be currently in office

(107)

Guess who one of the countries buying spare F-14 parts from the Defense Department is? That would be Iran

(66)

Another sign the Apocalypse is nigh: Israel's first Muslim minister sworn into office

(91)

Mon January 29, 2007:

# of Comments

(Some consonant-loving guy)

In Washington, the powers that be are apparently beginning to ponder whether Dick Cheney is insane

(105)

George Washington's farewell address, rendered into modern speech