Drew Curtis' FARK.com -- Politics Archives for '2006-12-10 23:59:59'

# of Comments

Obama continues to not run for president with stop in New Hampshire

(3)

Congresswoman says tape showing her calling for Castro's assasination is fake. Further, says the plans in her pocketbook labeled "Bay of Pigs II: Electric Boogaloo" are also fake

(11)

(Daily News)

Meet the General in The War on Christmas

(66)

Rep. WIlliam Jefferson wins re-election on promise of "a chicken in every pot and a wad in every freezer"

(39)

"They can take my gun when they pry my championship ring encrusted fingers from it."

(38)

Fortune's top 50 most powerful women in business

British Home Secretary warns that the probability of a terrorist attack in the UK during the Christmas season is "very high"

(37)

Innovator uses rules to save consumers money. Competitors give cash to Senators to have rules changed

(42)

China has most jailed journalists in the world. Ric Romero wants to find out the ratio of jailed journalists to total population

Because there's a lot of misinformation out there: the ACLU's position on religion in school. Submitter thinks you should read the section on student prayers

(122)

Sat December 09, 2006:

# of Comments

Israeli labor market very unequal: 92 chose to violate rights of employees, women especially oppressed, new immigrants work more, earn less, and Arabs have many problems

(81)

Democrats knew about Foley e-mails in the fall of 2005

(62)

Democrat Intelligence commitee chairman thinks that Al-Qaeda is made up of Shia Muslims

(43)

(NY Daily News)

NYC Mayor admits taking the subway is a crude but efficent way to get around town. Still no cure for cancer

(31)

Does anyone still believe that the Russian government is not involved with the Litvinenko killing?

(39)

Pop Quiz: You can win the GOP nomination for President unless you: A) Were part of a savings and loan scandal; B) Cheated on your wife; C) Did drugs; D) Supported gay rights

IRS to the devastated families of dead firefighters; No, you can't have the million dollars in charitable contributions from individuals. Not yours

(10)

(CJNepal)

Commonwealth suspends Fiji due to cruel summer inflicted by Commander Bainimarama. Minister Kajagoogoo too shy for comment

(8)

In its dying moments Congress adds $38B to the deficit and gives itself many lovely parting gifts. Happy UFIA, America

(108)

Campaign cookie causes controversy

If you live in Iraq, don't shoot at U.S. troops because we'll shoot back with something a lot bigger. PSA trumps Hero, Cool, and Dumbass

(103)

Fri December 08, 2006:

# of Comments

(examiner.com)

House votes 330-70 to keep their snouts in the trough

(28)

House Republicans blame their incompetence on Dems, earthquake, flood, locusts

(39)

Crazy biatch McKinney introduces Bush impeachment bill. Yup, that'll git'r dun

(62)

In a remarkable turnaround, GOP ethics committee concludes Republican leaders are to blame for the congressional page scandal. Just kidding - Merry Christmas Everyone's off the hook

(63)

9/11- Thousands of American's dead or wounded on U.S soil. Abu Ghraib- A few prisoner's treated badly but live to tell the tale. Rumsfeld picks hearing of Abu Ghraib as his worst day in office

(62)

(Crooks & Liars)

House Republicans accept responsibility for being the most "Do Nothing" Congress in decades. Not really... they blame the Democrats, of course

(36)

Give a freeper a monster truck and a can of spray paint and this is what you get

(174)

You're the Associated Press, and a historian has just proven the key source for a story is a liar. Do you A.) Offer a retraction, B.) Investigate the issue, or C.) Call the historian's boss and publisher to try and get him fired?

(24)

(McClatchy)

After carefully reading the Constitution, Sen. Arlen Specter (RINO - PA), introduces legislation to restore habeas corpus

(63)

Chelsea Clinton and her fiancee. Power, romance, Nigerian Scams...wait....what?

(167)

Having already stolen all our Swiss army knives and felt up every woman in America, TSA may start letting non-fliers through security checkpoints

(bradenton.com)

Man finds locked metal box containing ballots from 1984 presidential election sitting behind house. Walter Mondale, Geraldine Ferraro immediately demand recount

(News Hounds)

Fair and Balanced journalists at FOX decide that MSNBC's David Gregory is "partisan" for having the audacity to ask Tony Snow tough questions

(60)

You know all those tough recommendations of the Iraq Study Group? They're the exact same points John Kerry campaigned on. But hey, he looks French, so it's a good thing you didn't vote for him

(90)

Saudi citizens (cheap oil) giving millions to Sunni insurgents (cheap oil). Money being used (cheap oil) to buy weapons to fight Allies (cheap oil). US not looking (cheap oil) to invade Saudi Arabia at this time

(49)

Egyptian newspaper editor calls ISG report "the end of America"; urges Arabs to "capture this moment when the US is at its weakest." This can only end well

(42)

The founder of Hezbollah lashes out at, um, Hezbollah

Top ten reasons people give for not wanting John Kerry to run again. Surprisingly, being a huge douche not one of them

Dissatisfaction with handling of Iraq war hits new high of 71%

(448)

Opinion polls show majority of Poles want leading Pole with an overactive pole to step down, triggering early polls in Poland

(5)

(TNR)

Pres. Bush on the ISG report: " A lot of reports in Washington are never read by anybody. To show you how important this one is, I read it."

Mike Bloomberg reportedly willing to spend up to $500 million of his own fortune to finance an independent presidential bid. That's a helluva lot of Diebolds

(28)

Not only is the "War on Christmas" pointless whining, most of its 'examples' are actually bare-faced lies. Although why Christians are upset about a war against a pagan festival is beyond me

(32)

(Canada Free Press)

Considering he was dumb enough to marry Barbra Streisand, it's really no surprise James Brolin is a 9/11 conspiracy nutbar

(42)

New leader of Canadian Liberal party says he's willing to surrender his French citizenship if elected Prime Minister

(44)

Jeane Kirkpatrick, ex-ambassador, dies

(37)

Kneel before Zod

(31)

Left-wing thinktank finds that people in highly-taxed countries are better off

(85)

Lets celebrate lead reduction in air by putting more lead in it. Next up: celebrating sobriety with a kegger and weight loss with Häagen-Dazs

(22)

Saudis are funding the Sunnis in Iraq, who in turn use the money to purchase powerful weapons from Romania. They're both US allies. Something is about to hit the fan

(51)

State Republican representatvie in Georgia files legislation that would make it illegal to issue official documents in language other than English

(72)

Canadian parliament says gay marriage is really, really, really OK, so stop bringing it up already

Thu December 07, 2006:

# of Comments

Bush wants more input on the course, so he can really stay on it this time

(50)

By not declaring its nuclear arsenal, Israel skirts a U.S. ban on funding countries that proliferate weapons of mass destruction. It can thus enjoy more than $2 billion in annual military and other aid from Washington

(213)

Another person you have never heard of will not run for president

Former Russian Prime Minister Yegor Gaidar believes his mystery illness was caused by poisoning, but it has not affected his ability to detect homosexuals

(Burlington Free Press)

Vermont man charged with stalking Muslim family. Who's the terrorist now?

(21)

Once again, the NY Post front page shows why it's truly the classiest paper in New York

(78)

Internet-gambling billionaire offers the Hamas prime minister of Palestine a billion dollars to reach a peace agreement with Israel. Speaking of gambling

(45)

UN wants countries to pony up almost a half-billion dollars to disappear into the Palestinian Authority, because the current government there can't get its act together to feed its people

(54)

Another general tells use what we already know: Blair hates the troops and Iraq is a disaster

(6)

Three state senators from Ohio used their influence to lower workers comp rates for their own businesses. BWC audit determines "our documentation wasn't the best"

(7)

(Crooks & Liars)

Highly uncomfortable right-wingers weigh in on Mary Cheney’s pregnancy

(61)

CNN investigative reporter gets Taliban super-secret rule book. Still waiting for Batman decoder ring to translate

(11)

Students at Canadian university vote to ban student anti-abortion groups from campus. Because there's no reason to be exposed to opinions you disagree with just because you're at university

(1022)

The EPA will finally launch a program to clean up hazardous materials at the World Trade Center site, because having asbestos lying around a huge population center is apparently unimportant enough that it takes five years to get around to

(65)

Out of 1000 people working at the US mega-embassy in Iraq only 6 are actually fluent in Arabic

(37)

Iraqi military has a plan: As soon as the U.S. forces leave, so do they. “As soon as it happens, I will quit my job and live outside Iraq,” says one sergeant

(306)

Politicians to wear pedometers on their legs to monitor their movements. But these are Canadian politicians, so its not what you were probably thinking

(8)

Gitmo interrogators are using fast food and movies to entice detainees. "Schindler's List" and bacon double cheeseburgers said to be the least effective combination

(12)

Being good-looking can be the deciding factor that helps a candidate win an election. But only if the candidate is male. Here comes the political science

California judge upholds medical marijuana law

(34)

Wed December 06, 2006:

# of Comments

With his usual talent for understatement, Al Gore says the war in Iraq is the "worst strategic mistake in the history of the United States." Dred Scott, Japanese internment camps, Bay of Pigs and Vietnam unavailable for comment

(105)

(Powerline)

Former Jimmy Carter co-author and Carter Center employee who was present for many of the event recounted in Carter's latest book says Carter is a lying scumbag

(127)

The Senate has confirmed Robert Gates as defense secretary

(33)

(townhall.com)

Liberals talk about helping the poor with charity. Middle America actually delivers

(145)

(Washington Times)

Analysts: Bin Laden alive but hamstrung; Will miss rest of season

(68)

(Fairness & Accuracy)

CNN's Glen Beck threatens Muslims with concentration camps

(146)

(NY Daily News)

Attention Whore Al Sharpton wants to lead a protest march down NYC's 5th Ave like it's 1989

(26)

Bill Clinton greeted in Hanoi with cheers, multiple offers of "long time," since he refused to go shoot any of them 40 years ago

The Bush Administration repeatedly sought ways to limit payouts to nuclear-weapons workers sickened by radiation and toxic material. Expect payback from avenging mutant horde in three... two... one...

Both of Cheney's daughters are pregnant, even though the only Dick in daughter Mary's life was her father, if you know what I'm sayin'

(182)

Anti-terrorism law allows use of the military for law enforcement purposes, since that has worked so well for Iraq

(27)

(WaPo via Some Blogger)

Democrat vows to put Congress on a grueling 5-day per week work schedule. Actual response from Republican Congressman: "Keeping us up here eats away at families...The Democrats could care less about families"

(77)

Canadian Prime Minister promises to "get to the bottom" of things when opposition leader asks for a reduction in subsidies to "big oil and big ass"

(Crooks and Liars)

In response to rumors that the U.S. military will soon be distributing naked pictures of Bea Arthur, nine-tenths of Iraqis want the U.S. to leave their country

(102)

(Live Link)

A little trip down memory lane: The very best of the Iraqi Information Minister

Soldiers with PTSD punished, fired, demoted to maggot

America: "Hey, Chavez... it looks like your people like you after all, so maybe we should make amends." Chavez: "DIA oil F"

(356)

Tue December 05, 2006:

# of Comments

House Intel committee chair-designate voted against border fence and for border video surveillance... as provided by a company full of bunglers that just happened to hire his daughter

(26)

(Political Insider)

Outgoing Alaska Gov. Frank Murkowski, who lost his primary largely due to his penchant for nepotism, uses his last moments in office to appoint his son-in-law to the Alaska Railroad Board

Hillary's minions pull plug on Obama

(63)

WORLD CAPITALS DECRY FIJI COUP. world lower case would like to but can't see over the podium

The FBI is still $56.7M away from being able to track every aspect of our lives

(82)

9-12-2001: "Rudy Giuliani is the leader the nation yearns for"

Campus safe-sex poster: "Whether you're pitching or catching, wear a glove." Campus feminist: "That's the most degrading thing in history." Someone really needs to get laid

(532)

(Ireland On Line)

Russia, which clearly was not involved in the poisoning of ex-KGB agent and has nothing to hide, will not extradite murder suspects to the UK

(57)

12-5-2006: "Rudy Giuliani is a bullying, narcissistic psycho"

(52)

From the "didn't see that coming" files: Former tobacco lobbyist turned governer kills statewide anti-smoking program

(27)

Pakistan willing to share Kashmir with India, on the condition that India takes full control of the Honeydrippers album

(16)

Former President Bush breaks down in tears while praising his son, Jeb. Breaks down in tears while talking about George W., but for entirely different reasons

(43)

(Some Not Corrupt Guy)

Democratic congressman under investigation by the FBI is now in charge of the committee controling the FBI's budget. Wonder how THAT will turn out

(43)

Take a look at the new, ACLU -approved "Holiday Solstice Barn," complete with Nancy Pelosi, other socialists and "Maurry and Joseph"

(138)

(Voice of America)

U.S. says it wants a "constructive relationship" with Venezuela

(15)

Sorry NJ commuters, NYC has just banned trans fat

(617)

The Only Way to End the War in Iraq, Part 3. Includes the UN being "transparent" with funds

(NY Sun)

Sen. Barack Obama goes to New York, praises Hillary Clinton, then hits up her potential donors at fundraisers. Barack, you wouldn't like Hillary when she's angry

(26)

The "flying imams" have inspired Muslim mau-mauers across the country. Today, we bring you "prayer time interrupted by an infidel" at the gym. Allah Akbar

(108)

Study finds that the richest two percent of the world's population own 50 percent of the wealth, while the bottom 50 percent own one percent of the wealth

(109)

(Some Sunset Committee)

Attention Texas farkers: TABC is up for review. Remember when they busted into bars to arrest people who were drunk and not driving? December 12th and 13th, you can fight back

(211)

Donald Rumsfeld's successor Robert Gates says the U.S. is not winning the war in Iraq, will subsequently be hanged for treason

(290)

The disconnect between reality and reporting grows. Suck it, everyone

(24)

Georgia state senator supports immigration so much, he'll even marry a hot Colombian chick to keep her in the country

(70)

(LGF)

Not news: Anti-flag-desecration law passed. News: By San Francisco State University student council. Fark.com: Meant to protect the Hezbollah and Hamas flags

(53)

(Crooks & Liars)

Bush hedges on “Iraq is in a civil war" question in interview with Fox News

George Jr. rarely talks with George Sr. over policy. Wow, who woulda thunk it?

(9)

Iraq has strained America to the point that we can't even risk a diplomatic spat with Vene-freakin-zuela

(21)

Halliburton employee sentenced to jail for taking Saudi kickbacks for Iraq military contracts

(kos)

Washington Post reports that U.S. shipped U.S.-friendly Chinese Muslims to Gitmo in deal with China to avoid their objections to Iraq invasion

(21)

Author of book celebrating chastity: "I had an intense faith experience when I was 31 that transformed me." In other news, getting fat, old and ugly is now a "faith experience"

Great Britain set to require proof of command of the English langauge to become a permanent resident. Welsh residents protest, but no one can understand what they're babbling about

(67)

Fiji overtaken by coup; bottled water hits $60/barrel

(8)

(NY Daily News)

It may looks like a Christmas tree and smell like a Christmas tree, but a "holiday tree" grows in Brooklyn

(281)

Adams vs Zod for president

(9)

From the "if you can't beat them join them" files: Fox News reports that conservative Democrats hold the key to the 2008 elections

Mon December 04, 2006:

# of Comments

Top Bush aide: White House must get "mojo" back. Unclear if this means get their mojo back like Austin Powers, workin' like Muddy Waters or risin' like Jim Morrison

(85)

America's shiate leader to meet with Iraq's Shiite leader

(28)

Democrats' solution to prevent Bush recess appointments? Don't recess

(76)

We should end Christmas' status as a federal holiday. That will completely halt the marketing and buying frenzy, of course

(Strategy Page)

If today's media covered WWII, this is what it would look like

(55)

(Wonkette)

Just in time for the holidays, the Republican National Committee releases its annual "Studs of the GOP" calendar

(Northeast Intelligence Network)

"While serving eye candy to the trusting public, the so called 'moderate Muslims' are busily undermining the fragile security apparatus hastily configured post 9/11 through accusations of Islamophobia, religious bigotry"

(40)

Dire threat to American citizens will go away later this week, at least for a little while

(47)

(Some Blogger)

Poll finds Edwards, Obama have best combo of name recognition and favorability among Democrats. Hillary Clinton and Al Gore, not so much

(20)

Now that John Bolton is stepping down, UN ambassadors from nations on the Security Council are coming out of the woodwork to say how awesome he was

(49)

(Raw Story)

Today's "74 year old Senator wandering around Congress in his pajamas" story brought to you by Pete Domenici. Storm Thurmond nods in approval