Drew Curtis' FARK.com -- Politics Archives for '2006-11-19 23:59:59'

# of Comments

Former FSB (KGB) agent and Putin critic, mysteriously poisoned while dining in London restaurant. No word if salmon mousse was on menu

(16)

Think you'll get a break from war with a newly Democrat run congress? One of them will attempt to reinstate the draft, for a second time. Liberals still stupified, blame Bush -- some change

(213)

Hundreds of palestinians form massive human ring around house of wanted terrorist to let him escape from the Israeli forces, while shouting "death to Israel, death to America"

(171)

Syria: "We will send troops to Iraq if you give us a part of Israel"

(29)

In 1979, Pope John Paul II went to the Middle East to preach brotherhood between faiths. Now, Panzerpope is on his way there with a rather different message

(34)

Allies should help you kill your enemies, unless apparently it's Pakistan helping you fight the Taliban. Obvious tag is using Asinine tag as a base of operations

(11)

Iran reciprocates US travel regulations, will now fingerprint US citizens on entry. All of the non-existent Americans wanting to vacation in Iran said to be really bummed out

(33)

Hamas: ""Hamas will never recognize Israel, even if a Palestinian state is set up. Which right do we have to acknowledge the occupation? It is also forbidden to submit to American and Israeli logic." Dumbass trumps obvious

(92)

American ambassador to Britain scheduled to have a new hole torn in him over the fact the biggest killer of British soldiers in Iraq are not insurgents, but U.S. troops. Canadians would also like a word about that

(40)

Israeli deputy PM says they should assassinate Hamas leaders, walk away from International peace treaties, and tell the Palestinian PM to talk to the hand, stare at his lazy eye. (Pic)

(22)

"War on Terror" reaching $600 billion, or about seven PS3s on eBay

(30)

Sat November 18, 2006:

# of Comments

Attorney General Alberto Gonzales - warrantless wiretaps are his definition of freedom

(322)

Local government not interested investigating whether director used work computers to run his gay porn site. In related news, domain name www.coastguys.com available for $650,000

(6)

Leaked Fox Memo shows how they slant the news

(99)

San Francisco City Council votes to impeach George W. Bush. Good luck with that

(33)

Israelis develop process to extract oil from oil shale for $17 a barrel. Sierra Club, Greenpeace expected to issue fatwa justifying suicide bombings shortly

(200)

China admits that they have been harvesting organs from their executed prisoners to sell to foreigners who need transplants

(264)

Anti-gay protestor explains why we must not allow gay marriage: "If we don't deal with this it's going be chaotic, people are going say 'Can I marry a tree?', 'Can I marry a dog?'."

(276)

(Wayback Machine)

US President proposes plan to balance the budget and reduce the national debt

(19)

Good: The Clinton White House's IT manager has her own Wiki. Bad: She got kicked upstairs by the Bush White House. Fark: Her academic degrees came from a Motel 6 in Wyoming

(26)

Sen. John McCain urges a return to what he called the foundation of the Republican Party - restrained spending, smaller government, lower taxes, a strong national defense and family values

(60)

Bush can't even get South Korea to enforce UN sanctions on North Korea. Is there anything Bush can do?

(47)

New Yorkers would choose Hillary over Giuliani in 2008

(48)

The lengths they’re going to promote the new bond movie is just ridiculous

(14)

Fri November 17, 2006:

# of Comments

(CENTCOM)

Raid on mosque uncovers IEDs, mortars, assault rifles, anti-tank mines, and other religion of peace artifacts

(42)

(Raw Story)

And so it begins. Sen. Patrick Leahy (D-VT) requests release of Bush Administration interrogation policy documents from AG Alberto Gonzales

(84)

Political heavyweight South Park enters the debate over the Canadian government's opposition to a ban on bottom trawling on the high seas

(18)

(The Hotline)

Carville claimes that Dems could have won another dozen seats in Congress if the DCCC had funded them properly. As usual, Carville's math is just a wee bit off

(27)

The Democrats are about to put a bribe-taking scumbag in a leadership position in the House. No, this is not a repeat

(46)

John Edwards explains the PS3 cutting-in-line incident: "Good unpaid child labor is hard to find these days"

(326)

Gitmo detainee confession helps nab terrorist. Suck it, libs

(73)

(Rocky Mountain News)

Hispanic activists: "If (Democrats) hope to capture the White House in 2008, they better listen to us." They don't like the "Tortilla Wall" either

(76)

Chief Justice John Roberts says Supreme Court should aim to be unanimous as much as possible and that narrowly decided decisions are bad. Of course, the first decision of term was decided 5-4 in favor of the conservatives

(40)

180 members of UN reach deal to cut emissions. USA says it can accomplish everything in a week if they shut down a few Taco Bells

(9)

Texas Rep. Joe Barton receives one vote for House minority leader. Yep, he apparently voted for himself. Yep, he was the only one who did

(8)

BellSouth lickspittle toadies up to FCC chairman ... search party out looking for his dignity

(8)

(Investor's Business Daily)

Baa baa, British, have you freedom? No sir, no sir, what have we become? I remember when we had them once upon a time. Now the government is forcing us to rhyme. Baa baa, British, have you freedom? No sir, no sir, what have we become?

(35)

Secretary Rice to China: "Uh guys, why do you need all those soldier and guns? You don't really need a military that big, do you?"

(65)

Just what exactly is our timetable for the withdrawl of troops...from Europe?

(132)

GOP picks Boehner as House minority leader, Foley picks bo --- ah, forget it. Penis. Penis penis penis penis penis

(30)

O'Reilly declares American culture reached a new low with the new OJ book, "If I Did It," helping to ensure it becomes a bestseller

(171)

ACLU sues to have a portrait of Jesus removed from a principal's office, but doesn't mind the statues of Buddha in the classrooms. "They're very selective about what they consider a violation of the Establishment Clause"

(176)

Bush Administration's new chief of family-planning programs regards the distribution of contraceptives as "demeaning to women"

(73)

(Outside the Beltway)

Sen. John Edwards speaks out against shopping at Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart reveals that Edward tried to cut in line to buy a PS3 from them. Advantage: Wal-Mart

(366)

Did Christ know of this North American continent? Did He know this great nation would be Christian from its beginning? This book clearly shows that America (Zion) is the land set aside by God Almighty to be the place of regathered Israel

(304)

Australian political leader attempts to comfort grieving TV host Rove McManus, accidentally offers best wishes to Karl Rove (with audio)

(9)

Thu November 16, 2006:

# of Comments

(Say Anything)

Michael Moore is a plagiarist and John Edwards shops at Wal-Mart...have fun kids it's liberal hypocrisy day

(86)

(mediamatters)

ABC VP presented with "Freedom of Expression" award from right-wing film festival for her role in promoting/producing the fakeumentary "The Path to 911"

(27)

DailyKos solicits donations to challenge an election in Florida "so we can kiss Diebold goodbye." Later admits a Diebold competitor supplied the voting machines, but wants the donations anyway

(50)

(TPM Muckraker)

Yesterday's story connecting Abramoff with Democrats a load of hogwash--"Jack has not met eight Democrats in Washington"

(25)

(Wonkette)

Hilarious pic of sad Murtha crying behind Pelosi quickly removed from newspaper website

(31)

Senator Inhofe exposes how the U.N. is "brainwashing" your children. None of his 20 kids and grandkids are brainwashed or divorced or homosexual

(21)

Education: If you don't make the most of it, you'll get stuck hiding between two statues after the new Senate Majority Leader tells you to get lost

(13)

(Old but good read)

How Reagan, with the help of God and a few Marines, crushed the USSR. Whaddaya mean there were no Marines involved? God wasn't there either? Reagan was hardly part of it either?

(50)

Democrats enjoying ability to piss off Republicans, move to have minimum wage raised another two bucks

(932)

Christian politician defends the right of 17 year old girls to run around school in their underwear

(201)

Europeans wanting to see fatties on tiny motorcycles will soon have to travel to Manhattan to wait for James Gandolfini to zip by on his Vespa

(5)

James Sensenbrenner (R-Dumbass) refuses to move an anti cockfighting bill to the floor for a vote. Must be having his palms greased by the cock lobby

(42)

Everything's bigger in Texas, including the discrepancies between voters and number of votes cast

(151)

Bush tells North Korea not to sell nukes, next on agenda shutting barn door. Meetings planned for discussing finding missing horses

(8)

"He slit the throat of a goat, a small snake and stabbed a black crow in the chest, stirred their blood with spice and broccoli before drank the "potion" and smeared some on his face." Man, this guy really hates Bush

(82)

Gay weddings in the Capitol. Burning Man-style pyrotechnics on the Mall. Hempfest along the Potomac. This is what Speaker Pelosi's Washington will look like

(72)

President Bush warns North Korea: Do not transfer nukes to anyone else or we will continue to rage impotently at you

(13)

(Asbury Park Press)

Historian to discuss Garfield assassination. Odie unavailable for comment

(10)

Democracy is like sex - eventually, someone is going to take it in the pooper

(18)

NeoCon who doesn't read history: "We're losing in Iraq so we should invade Iran to stabilize the region and 70% of the people will support us" That cheering you hear is from Al Qaeda

(121)

As expected, lame duck Republicans are trying to force through last-minute bills to further erode your rights

(124)

Dems pick Hoyer over Jack "ABSCAM" Murtha. Suck it, libs

(115)

Spain unveils Mideast peace plan, pulls out playbook from late 1400s for reference

(185)

Pakistans amended rape law not going very well with the fundies. Mass protests vowed to demand the stonings back. Awesome fiery footage expected for the news at 11

(197)

House Democrats officially name Nancy Pelosi (D-Eerinheadlights) as speaker-elect

(458)

(RedState.com)

"Republicans have criticized [Dean] everywhere with "scream contests"...Yet the week after the polls closed it wasn't the DNC chair who had to resign and whose replacement was being debated"

(46)

Iranian Newspaper: "In one 33-day war more than 50 percent of Israel was destroyed. The nation of Muslims must prepare for the great war, to completely wipe out the Zionist regime, and remove this cancerous growth"

(40)

The job, requiring attendance at just one meeting a month, pays $117,818 a year

(20)

(Crooks and Liars)

CNN's Glenn Beck to newly-elected (and Muslim) Congressman Keith Ellison (D-MN): "What I feel like saying is, 'Sir, prove to me that you are not working with our enemies.'" (includes video)

(174)

(Whiotv.com)

Bush goes on trip to reassure Asian allies. Had to first undergo three hours of "'Asian,' not 'Oriental'" coaching

(154)

Gunmen in Iraq now opening fire on bakeries. Seriously, how angry about stuff do you have to be before you start slaughtering people who make the donuts?

(20)

Montreal Police advised not to send female cops to deal with men whose religion forbids them to deal with women as equals

(254)

Welfare agencies run out of emergency housing, create winter of our discount tent

(21)

McCain throws his hat into the Presidential ring

(253)

(RawStory.com)

Ann Coulter writes "Bush might be first president whose entire Cabinet's menstrual cycles were synchronized," curious for someone who's never had a period

(64)

Wed November 15, 2006:

# of Comments

Republicants to Dems, "Hey, just because we're such nice guys and we'd like to lighten your load in the next session we'll take care of that whole warrantless wiretapping thing now."

(25)

Democrats: We need a timetable on Iraq. Gen. John Abizaid: Yeah, uh, that's not such a good idea

(45)

(Houstonist.com)

Not news: there's a new congresswoman from Texas. News: she's only serving a three-week term. Fark: her entire staff has already quit

(4)

Patrick Henry College graduates hold 7% of the interships in the White House. You'd know about it if you'd been home-schooled

(Media Matters)

Tucker Carlson on Bush's DUI: "It's not like he was wasted. It was like three beers or something."

(46)

J.D. Hayworth (R-AZ) has conceded to Harry Mitchell (D-AZ)... a week after the election

(29)

Americans live in a perpetual election campaign and the next one has already started

(38)

(Business & Media Inst)

Since the election, the media have been oddly silent about electronic vote-rigging

(359)

Great moments in socialized medicine: British guy has been fixing a loose crown with Superglue every two months for the last three years while he waits to see a dentist

(268)

Incoming Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid implicated by convicted lobbyist Jack "PMITA" Abramoff of something

(48)

Cripple Fight Carville says Democrats should dump Howard Dean over "Rumsfeldian Incompetance." Good times, good times

(81)

In bid to kill-off competition, feds investigate TV stations who run canned corporate propaganda as news

(17)

(MEMRI)

Today's Unclear on the Concept Award goes to the Middle East Research Institute, which is whining that only four Arabs have ever won the Nobel Peace Prize, and they were all traitors to their race

(414)

UN hasn't given up on Darfur. Could have fooled me

(26)

(Courant.com)

Lieberman got a standing O from his Democratic colleagues, and thinking it sounded dirty, immediately tried to ban it

(28)

(wsoctv.com)

Former New Jersey state senator wakes up, goes outside, finds severed hog's head on driveway. Police unaware of any symbolic meaning. (pic)

(72)

(TNR)

RIght-wing loon Grover Norquist brings the analysis: "Sherwood's seat [in Pennsylvania] would have been overwhelmingly ours, if his mistress hadn't whined about being throttled"

(Sun Herald)

Trent Lott selected as Senate Minority Whip, because if there's one thing that Trent Lott likes, it's whipping minorities

(304)

Having James Baker in charge of an investigation into the Iraq War is at best a joke

(24)

While the government workers of the Palestinian Authority haven't been paid for months, Hamas deputy caught with USD 2 million from Saudi Arabia; swears it's for puppies and orphans, not bombs and nails

(80)

Lesson to Liberal Democrats:Once you get elected from a red state, then you can preach class warfare

(107)

Professional liar upset with reporters' storytelling

(Newsbusters)

News media gives tough grilling to incoming speaker of the house...in 1994. As opposed to being Pelosi's slavering lapdogs today

(222)

Uh-oh. NJ just noticed that it has a few highways that don't have tolls

(16)

(Al Jazeera)

Al Jazeera starts broadcasting in English. This message brought to you by Democrats

(125)

(The Economist)

How Seven of Nine gave rise to Obama, not to mention the pants of male fans

(45)

Whatever happened to patriotic media?

(67)

Germans, the leading authorities on the subject, moving to charge former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld with war crimes

(331)

Homeland Security report: Shell corporations provide an opportunity for criminals to engage in crimes while concealing the identities of the persons involved. The findings also show that water may be wet while grass is probably green

(48)

Tue November 14, 2006:

# of Comments

According to Newsweek, Americans voted for Democrats last week because they're nostalgic for the president who won 37 percent of the vote in 1992

(34)

(PR Newswire)

Harry Reid pulls a Quayle, issues press release honoring the memory of Dr. Martin Luthor King, Jr. Ted Kennedy to follow with his memories of the "I have a dram" speech

(154)

Ahmadinejad: Iran, after over three decades of silence, open to direct talks with U.S. Also open to not getting bombs dropped on them by Israelis

(107)

The First North American Secessionist Convention, the first national gathering of secessionists since the Civil War, includes every sort of nutjob we have in this fine country

(75)

(mlive.com)

Green Party spoiled the Michigan State Senate, getting enough votes to turn a 19-19 tie into a 21-17 Republican majority. They also changed the laws of the universe, causing 520 plus 776 to equal 1,294 instead of 1,296

(39)

(Jerusalem Post)

Hamas says it won't recognize Israel. Israel says, "We'll be the ones shooting the rocks out of your hands"

(324)

(Some Kos)

Iraq was an Aeolian paradise before the war and Bush attacked because he was jealous

(41)

New poll finds majority of people believe the Democrats don't even have a cut-and-run strategy for the Iraq mess

(67)

Mayor of Los Angeles prefers the comfort of his taxpayer-funded SUV over the unreliability and funny smell of public transportation, despite his insisting that it's a really great way to get to work

(19)

Arkansas law prohibits gifts to the governor and his wife unless it's wedding gifts. So the governor sets up a wedding registry. Despite the fact that he's been married since 1974

(96)

The main reason behind illegal immigration? Abortion, duh, says border state Missouri

(186)

Baltimore to introduce special "parking meters" that only accept donations to the homeless on busy, non-parking thoroughfare. What could possibly go wrong?

(106)

(www.CNSNews.com)

"But, I won in the polls." Democratic loser threatens legal action because he lost the vote, but won the polls

(230)

Best outcome of the midterm elections? Net neutrality now likely to pass

(365)

(Philly Burbs)

Peaceful grade plutonium and enriched uranium found in Iran waste facility. Odd what a good session of Dumpster diving can bring

(500)

Democrats choose our next Senate leaders: A devout Mormon (so much for keeping God out of politics), a guy who compares our troops to Nazis (so much for supporting them), and a would-be video game censor (so much for the 1st Amendment)

(127)

Thanks to the diligence of the United Nations, Hezbollah now has more rockets than they did before invading Israel

(167)

Vatican says that U.S.-Mexico border fence is inhuman. Do you think this has anything to do with the large Catholic population of Latin American countries?

(57)

(NY Daily News)

Hillary v. Rudy, the race we dreamed of, unless of course you live west of the Hudson River in which case you probably could care less

(56)

With Florida's Jennings/Buchanan race still up in the air and likely to be decided by the courts, both end up seated near each other at freshman orientation class -- that's worse than sitting next to your ex

(4)

Pres I'MInItForTheJihad says the world is ready to accept a nuclear Iran

(38)

(Zombie Ahmajihad)

Iran seeks picture with Al Qaeda, zombies

(60)

European Parliament approves plans to ban mercury. Other planets said to be monitoring situation closely

(36)

Canadians, Americans find anti-terrorism laws "intrusive." Terrorists also rather displeased

(92)

That giant sucking sound you're hearing is Ross Perot outsourcing jobs to Mexico

(16)

(kos)

2006 Midterm Election in maps