Drew Curtis' FARK.com -- Politics Archives for '2006-11-12 23:59:59'

# of Comments

Russ Feingold explains why he's not running for president in '08; reason #6: he's polling behind John Kerry, and that's just...well, the tag says it

(27)

Fareed Zakaria discussing Iraq: "This is not our chessboard"

(Financial Sense Online)

What to expect in the aftermath of the Republican wipeout

(39)

It's 106 miles to the election, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses." How Rahm Emanuel killed the elephant

(exile.ru)

War Nerd on the doctrine of assymetrical war

(20)

U.S. Election is over: Check. The GOP loses the majority in Congress: Check. Gas prices going up: Check. Conspiracy theorists making a correlation: coming soon

(29)

(Radioactive Guy)

Israel used new type of tactical nuke bunker buster in Lebanon

(491)

U.S.: Cuban dictator health is deteriorating. Zombie Castro : Mmmmm, brains.... braiiiinnnssss

(89)

Opposition leader says Britain needs 'Minister of Terror' - coolest job title ever?

(23)

Will Bush Sr help save his Son's Presidency. No, sorry, too late for that, Pops

(30)

(Some crazy guy)

Iran: 'If Israel takes such a stupid step and attacks, the answer of Iran and its Revolutionary Guard will be rapid, firm and destructive and it will be given in a few seconds'

(80)

(Washington Times)

Democrats plan to "revisit" law creating Mexican border fence. And by revisit, they mean "do away with so we can get back to playing politics on the issue"

(136)

Bush points out that the US elections were held "even in a time of war"

(72)

Nancy Pelosi: "No House member may accept any gift of any value from lobbyists, or any firm or association that hires lobbyists."

(121)

Arkansas mayoral candidate suspects foul play when the official results show him as receiving zero votes, in spite of the fact that he voted for himself

Sat November 11, 2006:

# of Comments

Top British cop wants to make burning flag a crime. Apparently, hippies are a growing problem across the pond also

(89)

(RINF)

Plans underway to microchip every baby born in U.S. and Europe. This story brought to you by $5.87 and Reynolds Wrap

(96)

Elton John wants all religion banned because he believes it promotes hatred of gays and turns people into "hateful lemmings"

(119)

Nine of 15 Security Council members vote to condemn Israel. Four more abstain. No prizes for guessing how it manages to fail

Thirty-one percent

Somali govt rejects peace deal, prefers war

(9)

(CQPolitics)

Welcome to what will be the sleaziest race for President ever. Buy stock in Lysol and gasmasks

(48)

Obvious: Potential House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has higher approval ratings then Bush. Fark: Bush is looking up at her 34% approval rating

(21)

The "God Gap" has narrowed; now both parties can exploit religious conservatives

(30)

Apparently Tuesday's election results were not understood by the Pentagon, as they prepare to re-deploy National Guard units to Iraq

(108)

French lose track of their surrender fund

(4)

Rumsfeld, like Kissinger, could be charged with war crimes by Germany. Kissinger seen nodding in approval

(19)

(Press of Atlantic City)

Vote for me, I was a Green Beret. Scratch that, I was a telephone operator

(22)

Terrorist Canadian researchers feel the need to flee from Patriot act

(14)

Unlike any previous “Year of the Woman” 2006 is *really* the “Year of the Woman”

U.S. and Russia reach tentative deal on WTO admission

(6)

(NY Daily News)

76% of New Yorkers are fine with Hillary using them like the fat girl you pick up at a bar at closing time

(48)

Leader of Britain’s Communist Party has become a multi-millionaire after inheriting a £20.5 million painting. I guess we will see how communist she is if she keeps the cash

(156)

Clinton, stumping for winning congressional candidate Jerry McNerney, explains the Bush administration in a nutshell

(56)

Democrat leader decides that the best way to start the healing process after a bitter election is to sling insults

(111)

Karl Rove talks about the election results. Oddly enough, Chewbacca not mentioned

(25)

Dutch government to ban burkas in public places

Donny Rumsfeld can spin a mean fatty

(26)

Fri November 10, 2006:

# of Comments

McCain begins preliminary White House run. Suck it, libs

(116)

(Hotline)

Democrats win Congress and yet they are already fighting with each other

(47)

A big ol' steaming heap of countries, including Jordan, Holland, and Australia, stop biatching about US troops in Iraq to beg the US not to withdraw troops from Iraq

Rep. Ike Skelton (D-MO) will resurrect the subcommittee on oversight and investigations, which was disbanded by the Republicans after they won control of Congress in 1994

(80)

(Charles Krauthammer)

Take a closer look at those elections results: Moderate Republicans lost, centerist Democrats won. "The result is that both parties have moved to the right."

(141)

Americans should send some of their extra Bibles to third world countries. - Because if there is something malnurished, illiterate peasants really need it's books written in languages they don't speak

(54)

Upon learning that Rumsfeld was fired, Marine patrolling in Baghdad asks "Who is Rumsfeld?", proving that if you squander your education, you'll get stuck in Iraq

(328)

Joe Lieberman: call me a Democrat

(86)

(SITE Institute)

Terrorists applaud America for voting Democratic

(109)

(Aussie News)

Abu Hamza al-Muhajer (D-Iraq), threatens to blow up White House

(400)

Al Qaeda proclaims victory in Rumsfield's resignation. Proclamation of victory for Rutgers' win over Louisville expected later today

(68)

To the surprise of absolutely nobody, Israel's deputy defense minister says that military strikes are possible to curtail Iran's nuclear program

(418)

"If it was up to the Democrats, we would still be living under Saddam's tyranny"

(472)

RIAA: Crap. So we can only sue for what these stupid pop songs are actually worth?

(56)

(The Jurist)

Donald Rumsfeld: Will he ever be tried as a war criminal?

(83)

(CBS)

David Letterman's Top 10 signs George W. Bush is depressed

(16)

Hundreds of Republican staffers facing unemployment. Evidently, there are not enough open positions in big oil, big tobacco or defense contracting

(26)

From the always shy and retiring Charlie Rangel: "Who the hell wants to live in Mississippi?"

(61)

Student leaders at a California college have banned the Pledge of Allegiance at their meetings, saying they see no reason to publicly swear loyalty to God and the U.S. government

(643)

You've done a heckuva job, Kenny

(120)

(Timesonline)

Handover to Iraqi Army set for the end of next year. Yeah for our side

(87)

Congressional Democrats to meet with George McGovern to get his advice on Iraq. Will also hold seance to hear the views of Lyndon Johnson on welfare policy

(20)

Thu November 09, 2006:

# of Comments

Jewish man upset he had to vote in a church. Voting for a bunch of lying jackals is OK, but having to do it in a church is just too much

(275)

(kfor-tv)

District Attorney fires an attorney, 5 years later he defeats him in an election

(26)

Despite being 2847 votes short of victory, Conrad Burns decides to wait for remaining 200 to be counted before conceding to Jon Tester

(35)

(Some Patriot)

Five things the Democratic Congress must do immediately

(144)

(ThinkProgress)

Reason #1,374 of why we love Fox News: creation of a new "Minority Speaker" position for the House of Representatives. (w/screen shoot goodness)

Barring a senseless wolf attack, Gerald Ford to become the become the longest lived ex-president on Sunday. How delicious

French troops were 2 seconds away from firing on Israeli jets, which means they were 4 seconds away from surrendering

(321)

Ted Haggard to undergo "spiritual restoration", a process in which "godly men who are clean themselves insert themselves in the life of the one who is struggling... laying their hands on Pastor Haggard while calling on God"

(316)

CNN censors part of Bill Maher interview where he mentions the head of the RNC is teh ghey

(123)

What Moby and some other random obscure musicians thought of the election

(34)

GOP holds onto its base of fundie nutjobs who don't object to upper-income tax cuts or massive deficits

(224)

Alberta Premier Ralph Klein: "I don't think Belinda Stronach ever did have a Conservative bone in her body. Well, except for one. Speaking of Peter MacKay...''

(65)

(Roll Call)

Hundreds of Republican staffers face unemployment. World's tiniest violin playing on overtime

(59)

The Wyoming Libertarian Party has edged back toward the mainstream, winning enough votes to regain its major-party status. Don't get too excited though, Wyoming's still a long way off from legalized drugs and prostitution

(17)

Markus Wolf, the East German spymaster who planted over 4,000 agents in the West and perfected the use of sex in spying, dies at age 83. Or at least that's what he wants us to think

(12)

Some guy nobody ever heard of is running for president

(36)

Two-thirds of the Osama-loving subscribers of Wall Street Journal give Rumsfeld a D or F

Churches receive provocative letters about mayoral race frontrunner's homosexuality, and the only thing that bothers them about it is that someone would assume they were anti-gay. Must be Canada

(55)

The price of victory: PA Gov. Ed Rendell owes his son an Aston Martin

(20)

Conrad Burns refuses to concede. "I didn't lose. The sun got in my eyes. I tried to call, but the line was busy. George Bush's secret plan will save me"

(49)

Georgia town mayor barely wins election after write-in candidate Tony the Tiger nearly edged him out

(58)

Can you believe that something as important as the control of the Senate came down to some good ol' boy calling someone "Macaca"?

(92)

Sixty percent of Americans didn't bother to vote, meaning Democrats owe their landslide plurality to approximately 20 percent of the population. Way to go, America. Have another deep-fried chocolate cake while you sit in your La-Z-Boy

(111)

Arizona's Proposition 200, which would have awarded $1 million to a random voter, fails to pass

(49)

The best time to run your well-researched, fact-based "Rumsfield won't resign" story is three hours before Rummy actually quits

(43)

Cindy Sheehan can't stand being out of the limelight, decides to celebrate Democratic election victory by getting herself arrested again

(66)

Wed November 08, 2006:

# of Comments

(LSU Reveille)

William Jefferson (D-Kenmore Deluxe Freezer Model 90000) will be in a runoff to keep his House seat

(34)

(Some Dittohead)

Rush Limbaugh admits that he didn’t believe the White House talking points he kept parroting. Sixty percent of Americans not surprised

(113)

Blue moon, you saw Bush standing alone / Without a magical fifty / Without a House of his own

(1144)

"Dan rather still defends tainted report." BOOP BOOP / tainted report / whoah-oah / BOOP BOOP / tainted report

(42)

Here's a sample of what the rest of the world thinks about yesterday's election

(308)

(9News)

Denver mayor promises to personally pay for parking tickets received by voters that were stuck in long lines caused by computer issues

(38)

Newsmax editorial explains why the Bushes "Took the conservative movement right over the cliff"

(57)

Note for 2008 elections: waving a gun and threatening to shoot people does not cause one to get to vote sooner

(25)

(Herald Banner)

Suck it, lib(ertarian)s

(433)

Congressman says "toxic" election environment for Republicans was toughest since Watergate

(Kos)

John McCain...you owe me a suicide

(93)

(Hamas)

This just in: Jews are worried about America not doing their work for them after elections

(58)

Michael Medved says to Democrats: "Well played sirs, well played"... Not really. He's pissed

(64)

French cheer Democrat congressional victory. In related news, the French also cheer Jerry Lewis, organ meat and Asterix comics

(59)

(Scoop)

The New Zealand government will revisit their 1999 decision to lower the drinking age to 18 because it turns out 18-year-olds didn't handle their liquor as responsibly as everyone had hoped

(94)

Senator's son celebrates victory by getting peppersprayed, arrested (with mugshot goodness)

(113)

(Senate)

Senators up for re-election in 2008. If you're a depressed Republican, you may not want to see this

(71)

"Now that Democrats are in power, within six months we will begin seeing articles declaring that 'The Daily Show' has 'lost its edge' and 'jumped the shark.' Bonus points for calling Jon Stewart a Republican shill"

(86)

Mass voters reject ballot question to legalize wine sales in supermarkets because it destroys marriage or something

(255)

Bush to nominate Texas A&M president for Secretary of Defense. Let the Aggie jokes ensue

(255)

Associated Press now projecting Jon Tester as the winner in the Montana Senate race

(195)

You're doin' a heckuva job, Rummy

(1379)

George Bush, for one, welcomes his new Democratic overlords with lunch

(54)

(Hugh Hewitt)

The good news for Republicans: Rick Santorum is now available for a future seat on the Supreme Court. Submitter just threw up in his mouth a little

(37)

Good news for Kevin Federline - ballot measures for minimum wage increases pass nationwide

(10)

Nancy Pelosi is one errant pretzel and one six-dollar burger away from presidency

(51)

(Kos/DSCC)

Dems claim victory in both Montana and Virgina Senate races. Suck it, libs

(74)

(NY Daily News)

A funny thing happened to Chelsea Clinton when she wandered down to her polling place to vote for her mother

(14)

China and Egypt reach nuclear-energy agreement

(7)

America to Democrats: Don't fark this up

(464)

Dude from the band Orleans who wrote 1970s pop tunes "Still the One" and "Dance With Me" wins election. Still has to answer for being on that album cover

(8)

At least one silver lining: Arizona approves English as the official language. Gracias, Arizona

(75)

Morning After Election Results thread. It was good for me, was it good for you? Here, have a cigarette

(1185)

Tom Delay: Democrats didn't win, Republicans lost and because our base stayed home

(87)

(Some ImageShack)

What is Rick Santorum's son thinking?

(309)

Montana senate race separated by 1700 votes. This puts Montana in the spotlight for the first time since... ummm.... where is Montana anyway?

(46)

(Minnesota Public Radio)

Keith Ellison becomes first Muslim elected to Congress, will prostrate himself toward Mecca five times a day, six times toward Nancy Pelosi

(107)

Map of election results

(Some Pissed Off Nutmegger)

(Alaska Girls Kick Ass)

Alaska elects its first female governor in history

(35)

Voters in Ohio city reject speed cameras. Bonus: City forced to refund money already collected. Bonus bonus: City has to keep paying rent on cameras until contract expires

(170)

Joe Lieberman, the "man without a party" wins re-election. Bipartisan politics surrender

Colbert explains Senator Rick Santoruman's Lord of the Rings analogy. In other news, Santoruman currently losing the battle for Middle Eart... err, Pennsylvania Senate

(8)

Politicians spend $1 billion to convince you that politicians are no good

(9)

Discuss the final stretch here. Can the Dems take the Senate, too? [Thread closed. Please move discussion to the hot and fresh thread above]

(2035)

Fewer than 3000 votes separate Virginia Senate candidates

(116)

Even Neal Boortz had problems voting

(114)

Tue November 07, 2006:

# of Comments

Continuing tonight's trend of tired old America-hating lefties being swept into power, Daniel Ortega named official winner of Nicaragua's presidential election

Dems to take control of the House. Suck it, libs

(1332)

New Senators, new Governors, new asinine millages, and a new Fark thread to discuss the day's electile dysfunction[Please to be now joining super happy fun time thread above]

(1941)

(KWY1060.com)

With Casey's predicted win in Pennsylvania, the world prepares to offer its last Santorum jokes. Post your glimmering rivulets of Santorum humor in the comments thread. Voting enabled

(158)

Today's election could send the most women ever to Capitol Hill. Sexist comments in 5, 4, 3, 2

(39)

Official Election Night 2006 thread. Come for the good times, come for the bad times, come for the moment Rick Santorum is projected to lose his job [thread closed: enjoy fresh, crisp new thread up the page a bit]

(1750)

Dan Rather to co-anchor the Daily Show tonight