Drew Curtis' FARK.com -- Politics Archives for '2006-11-05 23:59:59'

# of Comments

Just a reminder before you vote on Tuesday: The software running on Diebold machines was designed by a guy convicted on 23 counts of felony theft. Vote with confidence

(insidebayarea.com)

Jennifer Garner: pretty face, action star, political lobbyist. Wait, what?

(12)

(kos)

Not News: GOP uses robocalls in NH in last ditch effort to save candidate. News: They called people on the no-call list. Fark.com: 200,000 calls at a maximum penalty of $5,000 apiece is $100M

(58)

Saddam's execution not going over so well with Brits. Plenty of Americans defending it though

(38)

(Real Cities)

FBI to use undercover sting operations in Congress to catch crooked politicians. Would have started program already, but having difficulty finding agents willing to pose as congressional pages

(22)

(Wikipedia)

An estimated 1,840,000 German civilians died in World War II. FDR, Stalin, and Churchill should all have been hung. This just in: Unintentional casualties of war does not equal intentionally killing civilians of your own country

(421)

A (at the time) live demonstration of Diebold machine troubles broadcast by the Libtards at Fox News

(69)

(Some photographer)

John Kerry pwned at Army-Air Force football game

Bush claims Saddam verdict is Iraqi milestone, but would not call it 'Mission Accomplished' since that already happened back in 2003

(26)

Why do so few people vote in the U.S.?

(453)

Venezuelan oil workers must vote for Hugo Chavez or quit their jobs. Karl Rove says "How come I did not think of that?"

(14)

(mediamatters)

Chris Matthew's reasoning on why a Democratic win at the midterms would be bad: "It'll make the president look bad to the world". I think that ships already sailed, Chris

(65)

(Think Progress)

"Cheney: I Would ‘Probably Not’ Testify Before Congress, Even If Subpoenaed." Just make things up as you go, dude

(81)

(YNet)

Israel: "If anything happens to Gilad Shalit, the Palestinian PM will join the list of martyrs"

(80)

“There are no perfect people running for office.”

(12)

$2.6 billion to be spent in this year's elections, a number greater than the nominal GDP of 36 countries

(113)

Saudi Arabia, Egypt, Morocco, Algeria, Tunisia, and the United Arab Emirates are destabilizing the middle east by developing nuclear technology

A series of secret U.S. war games in 1999 pointed out the impossibility of controlling Iraq, even with 400,000 U.S. troops

(360)

(Some Sensible Guy)

"Separating Jews and Arabs is the best solution. The Greeks and Turks of Cyprus lived together and there was bloodshed and terror. After 1974, with all Turks on one side, all Greeks on the other, there is stability and security"

(247)

Arizona comes up with new plan to get people to vote - everyone who votes gets a shot at $1,000,000 lottery

The Whoppers Of 2006

Halliburton charges $45 to provide our troops a six-pack of soda

(74)

Pro-pot hippies in Colorado claim smoking pot is safer than drinking in new anti-GOP ad campaign

(71)

Sat November 04, 2006:

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The 25 hottest House races to follow this upcoming Tuesday

(32)

(Citizens United)

One of the most fear-mongering political ads you will see all year. "If you vote for the Democrats we're all going to die."

(42)

Old and busted: Ignore reporters' questions. New hotness: Call the reporter a "Republican whore." Fark: Deny, then say you might have used that language but you don't believe you did

(9)

George Bush gives Laura a necklace to celebrate her 60th birthday. It wasn't a pearl one

(14)

More young voters than ever plan on going to the polls this year

(45)

How Air America went bankrupt. 90 corporations and major advertisers stipulated that their ads not be aired during the broadcast of Air America content on ABC stations

(53)

We could donate $130 Million towards alternate energy sources or we could spend $130 Million over a proposition to raise taxes for such

(8)

(WPVI)

Slick new campaign mailer tells all about why you should vote for the candidate. What it fails to mention is that the candidate died a month ago

(3)

What kind of car you drive may reveal how you will vote

(39)

Democrats are fair weather voters. Literally

Today's crazy Katherine Harris story: She prays on conference call, "Father God, I just pray that you would bring the hearts and minds of our Jewish brothers and sisters into alignment"

(36)

Leading conservative proponent of Iraq War changes mind, now calls it "disaster," and invading was huge mistake. White House smarmily replies, "We appreciate the Monday-morning quarterbacking"

(47)

Teenagers uninterested in politics. "Most of the kids are not big on news overall"

(32)

Bush proposes making illegal aliens "Guest Voters" for the November 7th election

(68)

This year's furiously competetive Texas gubernatorial race will pull a whopping 36% of registered voters, which is 20% of the state's total population, to the polls

(28)

Palestinian man throws rock, forces Israeli forces to preemptively arrange a meeting with his new entourage of virgin brides

(324)

Things are going so well in Iraq that Iraqi lawmakers are having to be physically restrained from kicking the crap out of each other on live television

(20)

Bush hits campaign trail for his 2006 "unpopular and unwelcome" tour

(31)

(CITIZEN-TIMES.com)

"Respecting the troops is about more than praising them. It’s about respecting their lives by only committing them to danger when the need is beyond question"

(91)

Army Times, Navy Times, Air Force Times and Marine Corps Times calling for Donald Rumsfeld to be fired. Coast Guard Times still on the fence

(295)

Fri November 03, 2006:

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AARP running anti voting ads... gwuh? Horribly bad rhymes included

Godwin enters the Oklahoma governor's race. Hitlerity ensues

(28)

(Deutsche Welle)

Germans losing faith in democracy and social justice, but that's nothing that can't be solved by electing a strong leader

(43)

(National Journal)

Senator Macaca is out of money for ads in the big weekend push prior to a dead heat election

(46)

(Rocky Mountain News)

Ted Haggard didn't do anything wrong, then resigned, then bought meth but didn't smoke it, then "just" got a massage from a gay prostitute. This will only get more confusing

(506)

(CQPolitics)

Bob Ney: “I’m done with everything I wanted to complete.” In other words, the shredder finally gave out

(312)

Remember those soldiers who got in trouble for being in gay pornos? Yah, well the RNC happily accepts campaign cash from the company that produces said gay movies

(28)

"Virginia tastes bitter as insults fly" Submitter finds Virginia a little salty, too

Remember how no news sources reported on that "Halp us Jon Carry" banner? Turns out, plenty of them have

(55)

Kind of not news: Gubernatorial candidate wears overalls to debate. News: Candidate is a convicted felon. Fark: During debate, cadidate asks incumbent for pardon. Maine: Candidate's dog is also present on stage at debate

(7)

Radio Host fired for calling a fat lesbian a fat lesbian

(176)

Saddam Hussein to be found guilty, sentenced to death two days before U.S. elections. There is nothing Karl Rove can't fix

Election candidates should stop playing games and treating us like uneducated fools

(What co-inky-dental timing...)

Joe Lieberman leads Ned Lamont by 12 points, harshing the mellow of whiny progressive Web sites everywhere

(79)

Elections kill Greeks' appetite for sex, probably because -- just like in America -- they're too busy getting screwed over by the politicians

(4)

Haggard's accuser fails polygraphs. Tester says testee's testes a little testy after recent surge of media coverage, could lie better later

(123)

The Biggest Douchebags Ever Elected

(213)

TN State Senate candidate shows how not to talk your way out of a speeding ticket

(Colorado Springs Gazette)

Bush asks Democrats for Iraq plan, because he's never seen one and is genuinely curious

(796)

Hidden camera catches city commissioners drinking at bar on taxpayers' dime shortly before voting themselves a pay raise

(41)

As the campaign season reaches its climax, let us pause to reflect on those three little words that mean so much to the GOP: San Francisco values

(34)

Ted Haggard versus Richard Dawkins. FIGHT

(74)

Haggard admits "some guilt". Soon to appear on TV with tears running down his face crying "My Lord, I have offended thee."

(230)

In latest damning indictment of Bush's handling of the economy, unemployment hits lowest rate in five and a half years

(212)

(MLive)

Michigan gubernatorial candidate: "Coach started me at quarterback in high school because of my leadership." Coach: "Nope."

Barack Obama: "Why is it the war on terrorism seems to be fought between September and November every even-numbered year?"

(92)

The only candidate in America who'll be spending election night serving in uniform in a combat zone

(35)

Baptist Convention told: Muslims 'are here to take over our country'

(539)

Having solved all other civic issues, House of Lords attacks problem of improperly discarded chewing gum

(23)

Story about New Orleans creating watchdog group to oversee federal aid features photo of Robert De Niro. Now, if he was in charge, FEMA might actually work... or someone would get wacked

(3)

Thanks to Bill Clinton, notorious con man gets to die in Miami Beach a free man

(34)

Republican Congressional candidate's assertion that Pres. Bush has a strategy for success in Iraq greeted with laughter by Veterans group

(280)

(Chicago Tribune)

Man who does the voice of one of the animated Guinness brewers is running for governor of New York. BRILLIANT

(5)

October surprise NYT admits that the intelligence regarding Saddam and nukes are legit. Hey left, that ringing in your ears is from the other half yelling "We told you so"

(148)

How far should a corporation get in government affairs? Meet federal and local law enforcement's newest partner in city crime watch and felony phorensic investigation: Target. (Article originally from Washington Post)

In Texas, you can now mail the absentee ballots of others. Claims that the practice "encouraged vote fraud" didn't wash with courts

(6)

Your World Series MVP wants you to vote no on Amendment 2

(Nutroots Playhouse)

"I think it's important to note that nobody hates the troops more than decorated war hero John Kerry. We're all very, very lucky that we have draft-dodgers like George Bush and Dick Cheney to point that out to us."

(71)

How North Korea learned to stop worrying and love the Bomb

(10)

(Sad)

Democratic Candidate for Congress refuses to apologize for National Democratic Party negative ad slandering her opponent

(44)

(No video evidence! Ha!)

Gibbons allegations prove unprovable

If there is a "gay agenda", it's apparently a secret one being carried out from the closet by the Christian right

(46)

(American Conservative)

The intellectual dexterity that once distinguished campus conservatives has given way to mindless Republican boosterism. It's time for Conservatives to get back to their intellectual roots

(29)

American politics: $1 of nice for every $10 of nasty

(10)

(American Spectator)

Why Democratic victory next week will mean the terrorists will have won

(35)

"Bush is more of a threat to world peace than the leaders of N. Korea and Iran, and only bin Laden is more feared." Love from your ally - Britain x o x o x

(209)

(Mathaba)

Bush moves one step closer to declaring martial law, and all the tinfoil in the world can't help you

(139)

Thu November 02, 2006:

# of Comments

Rep. Don Sherwood (R-PA) pays ex-mistress $500,000 to keep her quiet until after election day. Since you're reading this, you can guess how that went

(44)

Who votes, who doesn't and why

(211)

If ever a link could get the HERO tag for part of the story, and the DUMBASS tag for the other, this is it. Can even switch places depending on your politics

(262)

(WND.com)

Thank you, John Kerry, for reminding America what an evil alternative you and your party represent for this country

(201)

Kerry's botched joke will have little if any impact on the elections. Suck it, libs

(50)

(Rocky Mountain News)

Male escort claims that he had a 3 year affair with Ted Haggard, otherwise known as the president of the National Association of Evangelicals

(334)

(Kerry Hack)

Congressman Subliminal states that Kerry was right, and you must just take his word for it...obey

(Lord Byron)

Vote for Mythbuster Kari Byron's dad for town council and maybe she will marry you

(271)

Mark Foley to extend his stay in rehab until after the election. Who’d have thunk it?

(16)

Corker leads Ford in Tennessee Senate polls after video of his hottie daughters shows up on web. That should take care of the state's rampant kitten problem

(162)

(MM.com)

The "HALP US JON CARRY" picture that flew around the internet yesterday appears on the front page of every newspaper in the country. Just kidding - nobody's running it. Lots of pictures of Abramoff and Delay, though

(1026)

(NewsNet5)

What do monster trucks, Coors beer, and shopping at Wal Mart have in common? The answer may suprise you. Well, maybe not

(41)

Now that we've established our troops are in Iraq not because they're moron losers, but because they're noble warriors committed to winning, are Democrats going to let them?

(117)

About half of the new Democratic House members would probably be anti-gun. Will a Pelosi-led House threaten Second Amendment rights?

(425)

(Futurepower.org)

"The behavior of [President] Bush and [Vice-President] Cheney is consistent with the behavior of alcoholics."

(98)

Lefty blogger posts that he's going to harass Mark Allen. Tries to do so, is stopped, and claims assault. Then the photos surface

(141)

Iran test fires long-range, nuclear-capable missile. Israel tests out their warplanes, makes sure they're ready to go in the spring

The corrupting power of Military-Industrial Complex made simple

(110)

CNET grades every congress member on their technology votes for the entire decade. Initial results indicate more clogged tubes than originally thought

(16)

(Some Ivy-League Guy)

Police removed five protesters who interrupted World Trade Organization Director-General Pascal Lamy's speach to Harvard students

(7)

Why using the words “genocide” and “Armenia” together in a sentence may win you an all expenses paid stay in a Turkish prison

(23)

(PhysOrg)

Irish securities market accurately predicts U.S. elections

(15)

Labor unions are gearing up for the November elections like never before. First step, shortening their election workers' lunch breaks to an hour and a half, and reducing the number of breaks per day to six

(Truth Laid Bear)

"If Kerry had not destroyed the morale and reputation of the American military after Vietnam, we wouldn’t have to be sensitive to his jokes. But he did, and we do. Never again."

(93)

Jeb Bush condemns prominent Republicans for anti-Islam statements. Republicans counter with anti-Jeb statements

John Kerry says the problem in Iraq is that Bush didn't send enough troops. 30 seconds later he says the problem is that we sent too many troops. Thanks for clearing that up, Mr. Nuance

(137)

Schwarzenegger leads Angelides by 16 in polls, neck diameter (with side by side pics)

(89)

Wed November 01, 2006: