Drew Curtis' FARK.com -- Politics Archives for '2006-10-29 23:59:59'

# of Comments

When Air Force One touches down in tightly contested congressional districts these days, it often turns out that the G.O.P. candidate there has discovered a previous commitment elsewhere

(18)

Richard Dawkins explains how religious faith tends to create more evil people than, say, Stalinism

(56)

Just for fun, let's really compare Obama to JFK

Fark liberals set their blood to "boiling" as Bill O'Reilly and Oprah's audience bash the ACLU and defend the torture of terror suspects

(65)

Lazy non-voters offered free limo rides to polling places so they can do their civic duty. Next up: gold fountain pens for marking ballots, diamond-studded "I Voted" pins for each successful vote cast

(17)

John Gibson brave enough to just come out and say what we all secretly know: A vote for Democrats is a vote for the terrorists

(138)

Only Democratic Tennessee Senatorial candidate Harold Ford has the visionary foresight to look beyond Iran and North Korea to the NEXT nation to threaten America with nuclear weapons: Australia. Crikey

(The Cincinnati Enquirer)

(Fox Trot)

Bill Amend puts Diebold in perspective

(74)

Guess which Congresswoman wants to store nuclear waste in her district

(22)

Israel using enriched Uranium in war against Lebanon. Several bomb craters show elevated radiation levels consistent with enriched Uranium

(70)

(MyFox WGHP)

Insightful and detailed explanation by Patricia Heaton on why not everyone likes Michael J. Fox

(98)

(powerofnarrative)

Senator Rick Santorum "If I lose my re-election bid, it sets the stage for terrorism to be more of a threat than the Nazis ever were". Ah, what a humble politician

(77)

For some reason, people didn't want to pay $500,000 a ticket to celebrate Bill Clinton's latest 60th birthday party tonight, and even the Rolling Stones might not show even though they were comped

(26)

Mexico is having a problem with insurgents. Some how this is Bush's fault, or Republicans because only the US has insurgents because Bush sux

The key to freeing the West from oil may lie in something developed by the Nazis and the apartheid-era South Africans

Fidel Castro proves he's still alive by reading Saturday's newspaper on TV; would have read straight from Fark but it was down all day

(5)

How do you improve on this headline? "Italian transgender MP in row with ex-showgirl MP over ladies' toilet"

(4)

This nutcase regularly has his manic fits at city council meetings on behalf of Venice Beach -- strangely enough, this has nothing to do with Venice Florida where this would be normally expected

(14)

An in depth analysis of how America was hijacked. Nope, not the Patriot Act. It was even before 9/11. See what happened nearly six years ago that was the beginning of the mess the country is in today

(83)

(talkingpointsmemo)

RNC Chief Ken Mehlman, whose candidate pointed a finger at Rep. Ford (D) in Tennessee for alleged porn money connections has taken campaign contributions from gay porn producer bigwig (Not that there's anything wrong with that)

Sat October 28, 2006:

# of Comments

Bush and Cheney refuse to discuss "what if" scenarios in Iraq, continue to stay "Give them liberty or give them death" course

(10)

(Some Biologist)

Science Magazine debunks Republican talking point that adult stem cells research has provided therapies for 65 (or 72) diseases. Malkin and Limbaugh can sincerely apologize to Michael J. Fox now

(Intl. Herald Tribune)

Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki has issued a statement: "Please do not kill me"

WWE superstar Kane endorses Libertarian Bob Smither in the 22nd district of Texas due to his support of limited government, hellfire, brimstone

(9)

NATO blasted with words after they used something a bit stronger on Afghan civilians. Hey, words can hurt, y'know?

(6)

(Vast right wing conspiracy)

Does Barack Obama pose a threat to the American people? These folks say yes

(24)

(RedState.com)

Democrats are in their last throes, since if anybody knows when a group is in their last throes, it's the Republicans

(11)

Jim Webb: "A Boy's Penis in your mouth - not a sexual thing"

What election? 30% of candidates are running unopposed. HOO-RAY Democracy

(11)

Henry Rollins: An open letter to Laura Bush

ACLU drops challenge of Patriot Act because it appears constitutional now. Aluminum futures fall on news as leftwing nutcases sell, sell, sell

(28)

Al-Qaeda warns Canada to quit with the poutine thing or else

(110)

FCC says the Tonight show didn't violate fair election laws by having the Governator on the show. Who cares

(10)

Fri October 27, 2006:

# of Comments

Ortega leading in Nicaragua polls, but other taco seasonings close behind

Federal funds for sex education require states to forbid teaching about contraception and requires them to demonize premarital sex

(40)

CBS News rates the sleaziest ads of this particularly sleazy election year

(97)

(Click2Houston)

"Middle-class voters are no more likely to gravitate to the Democrats in any sustained way than chickens would embrace Colonel Sanders."

(49)

Congressman wants fake NWA boarding pass guy arrested; messenger killed

(112)

(Michelle Malkin)

Michelle Malkin and company show why Michael J. Fox is a douchebag

(265)

Castro might be dead, or maybe just pining for the fjords

(97)

(The Age AU)

Stop the Presses: Muslim cleric who called women "uncovered meat" blames Bush

(269)

Michael J Fox responds to Rush Limbaugh "I could give a damn about Rush Limbaugh's opinion."

(212)

Jonah Goldberg: Democrats are only leading in the polls because they're exactly like Republicans. But vote Republican anyway because these Democrats, who are exactly like Republicans, will destroy America

(62)

Hillary celebrates her 59th birthday with million-dollar fundraiser at Tavern on the Green, followed by Bill's after-hours kegger in Chappaqua with the cheerleaders

GOP runs ad claiming Democratic candidate used taxpayer funds to call phone sex lines. Turns out an aide dialed number by accident and quickly hung up. Total cost to taxpayers: $1.25. Asinine tag shakes head, steps aside

(83)

(WZZM)

In fundraising speech, President Bush repeatedly refers to congressional candidate Jeff Lamberti as "Dave"

(456)

(Townhall)

13 reasons to vote Republican in the upcoming election. List includes magic anti-terror rock, spying on Americans without oversight, and the Patriot Act. Good luck with that

(131)

Rumsfeld blames the media for all of his failures in handling the Iraq War. Says that Iraqis "driving, shopping and eating " proves we are winning the war. Well, until they are blown up or shot

(103)

(US DOE)

US Dept of Energy to award $100M for Hydrogen fuel cell research. In other news, world's largest supplier of hydrogen, AirProducts, uses natural gas to make hydrogen

(179)

(Money Central)

Airbus signs deal to build first aircraft assembly plant in China, the first outside the EU. That's all. Oh, they also inked a $14 billion 170 A321 order from a Chinese airline. No coincidence there, nope

(81)

Thu October 26, 2006:

# of Comments

(Pollster)

The coolest charts tracking competitive House, Senate, and Governor races for this year's election you'll ever see

(120)

British oddsmaker favors Democrats to take the House at 4-11, the 2008 Presidency at 8-11 and screwing it all up at 50-50

(37)

Remember, for Hillary Clinton to become president, all she needs to do is win all the states John Kerry did, and one more. Or all the states Gore did, and the Supreme Court

(51)

Allowing for POWs to be brought to the brink of drowning and repeated over and over is not only a good international standard but is a “no-brainer” according to Cheney who is not trying to imply that he has no brain

(972)

If the Democrats take over Congress hold on to every nickel

(60)

(Hotline)

Seven reasons why Karl Rove is optimistic. In short: Diebold, Diebold, Diebold, Diebold, Diebold, Pelosi, and teh marriage of teh ghey

(Little Green Footballs)

You'd think that a survey by a group called Muslims for a Safe America of its own membership would show what moderate muslims think, right? If so, we are in deep, deep trouble

Where does your right to free expression end?

(277)

(Think Progress)

Ohio GOP takes a page from online celebrity porn playbook, 'shops Al Franken's head onto a guy wearing diapers

(46)

Hamas in trade talks with Israel, offering one soldier for hundreds of Palestinians; Yankees interested as well, offering A-Rod and Mussina

(89)

(Wonkette)

After claiming that his opponent parties with Playboy bunnies, Republican Bob Corker's daughter caught doing the naughty on Facebook

(297)

(Daily Kos)

Rep. Peter King (R-NY) calls AARP a "radical organization" during debate. Senior citizens everywhere gum their liver and onions with silent rage

(56)

(Some List)

David Blaine has donated $1,000 to the GOP (and other celebrity political contributions)

(60)

Skull pictures, everything spark Islamic anger

(409)

Bush approves 700 miles of fence on south border, bonus dual use will come into play when US suffers economic collapse and you try to escape

(84)

Kurt Warner, Patricia Heaton and that guy who played Jesus don't love Michael J. Fox

(540)

Cuba examining socialism for flaws. "Right now the only reason to work in Cuba is to steal"

(14)

(kfor-tv)

State DHS worker punished for reporting illegal aliens that were applying for benefits to INS

(163)

(Dateline Hollywood)

Rush Limbaugh accuses Christopher Reeve of exaggerating his paralysis and death in recent TV ads for Democrats who support stem cell research

(90)

If you live in Pinellas County, Florida, don't bother voting. They appear to be making up the results out of thin air

(13)

Mohammed cartoon lawsuit beheaded

(203)

Bill Frist's election strategy for Republicans: "The challenge is to get Americans to focus on pocketbook issues, and not on the Iraq and terror issue."

(110)

Schroeder attacks Bush in memoirs, plays small piano while little beagle dances

(10)

35 percent of people think the Bush Administration has gone too far with restricting civili liberties and has more power than other Presidents. This is the same 35 percent that blame Bush when it hurts to pee

(131)

Tennessee Republicans pull infamously negative campaign ad, replace it with one that says Democratic challenger "wants to give the abortion pill to our schoolchildren" and is in the pay of porn executives

(360)

'Terrorist' caught in US legal limbo. His crime ? Trying to assassinate Castro

(76)

GOP ad that says "Canada can take care of North Korea, they're not busy" offends Canadians with nothing to do but be offended by GOP ads

(277)

(Bloomberg)

Democrats roll toward victory on a platform emphasizing health care, infrastructure, and jobs. Just kidding. It's all "we're not Bush"

(80)

Stop me if you've heard this one: an annoying wife, a losing quarterback, and Jesus walk into a debate

(8)

(American Spectator)

A conservative's response to Olbermann's reports

(266)

(Seattle Stranger)

Seattle Times editorial board disagrees with the candidate it just endorsed on just about every issue except his call for an end to the estate tax, also a pet project of the paper's miserly publisher

(The Courier-Journal)

U.S. Rep. Anne Northup, R-Ky., a longtime Bush rump swab, says her recent call for Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld to resign is in no way tied to the upcomming election where she is a neck-and-neck filthy race

(Some Slave)

Donald Rumsfeld's vacation home is a 19th century slave owner's estate named "Misery Manor" where unruly slaves, including Frederick Douglass, were once sent to be broken

(51)

Liberal media that covered (and showed) GOP terror ad so far ignoring Democratic Iraq ad

(45)

Wed October 25, 2006:

# of Comments

Bush confident GOP will win. Submitter confident he will have an orgy with the "Deal or No Deal" models

(126)

(Unfogged)

Barak Obama is the Antichrist. No, seriously

(78)

China denies reports of North Korean apology and says Lil Kim reserves the right to escalate the nucular crises. Secretary of State Rice is steamed

Last week, Bush said that Iraq may be a bit like Vietnam. This week, Cheney no longer claims Iraqi insurgency is in its final throes. Is this a new era of honesty? See tag at left for answer

(96)

(KLASTV)

It sucks when you're a congressman and gubernatorial candidate when your housekeeper/babysitter comes forward about having to hide in the basement when people came over because she was an illegal immigrant

(69)

(Ocala.com)

GOP using a fatal car crash and an animated ad depicting the Democratic candidate as a cartoonish "speed racer" in its latest attack ads in Florida. Go mudslinger, go mudslinger, go mudslinger GOOOO

(64)

(DC Examiner)

Republican Congress spends too much, so voters should replace them with Democrats, who will spend too much

(149)

The GOP has lost its mojo. Dems pulling all the hot chicks

(38)

Apparently desperately courting the BDSM/Leather vote, Congressional candidate tells crowd that "wives should be submissive to their husbands"

(53)

Canadian Conservative finance minister says Liberals will "stifle" economy if elected, even though they haven't chosen a new leader yet, and their old one was the architect of Canada's current budget surplus

(45)

Bush schedules news conference today to reveal exciting new wartime catch-phrase

(1141)

North Korea lovingly warns the South that sanctions against them will result in the South "paying a high cost"

(91)

Political polarization might actually be good for America. Suck it, libs

(26)

Porn star drops out of gubernatorial race to be with her mother, who has been hospitalized since jumping off a four-story building. She could handle the porn, but when her daughter got into politics, it was just too much

Cheney says Hillary could win, hopes she doesn't; also says Obama is an attractive guy

(33)

(Life IS a carnival.)

John Birch Society says Bush has signed away the rights of the American people. Seriously

(79)

(RawStory.com)

Democrat protests being kicked off House Intelligence Committee for leaking classified doc

(9)

Rice says "axis of evil" proven right. Self-fulfilling prophecy FTW

(A God-fearing Republican patriot)

(YNetNews)

Israel's hopes for Iran rest on Lieberman. No, not that one. The other one

(51)

Caption Barack Obama taking control of the mic

(190)

(Newsweek)

Stephen King looking to scare voters away from Republicans. "If I know anything, I know scary. And giving this president and this out-of-control Congress two more years to screw up our future is downright terrifying"

(42)

Hey man, don't bogart those nuclear secrets

(38)

A consortium of major universities, with Homeland Security Department funds, is developing software that would let the government monitor opinions of America-hating scum on the Internet

(36)

(Some White Rose)

Behold, the tinfoil hatters of another era. Also, a clue on an important bit of history that most of us didn't learn in high school

(59)

Tennessee senatorial candidate Harold Ford, Jr. defends his appearance at Playboy Super Bowl party, saying, "I like football, I like girls, I don't have no apologies for that." Despite bad grammar, Fark approves

(37)

Tue October 24, 2006:

# of Comments

Dick Cheney acknowledges he is the 'Darth Vader' of the current administration

Judge orders lawmakers to reveal names of pork project big spenders. Suck it, bridge to nowhere

(41)

"I answered all the questions they asked to the best of my ability" says Hastert, after essentially saying i don't remember over and over

(20)

(Some Dude)

Barack Obama: "I inhaled. That was the point."

(103)

Neither party would benefit by winning the election, and neither party deserves to

(42)

(Radaractive)

Only one thing drives Democrats these days: A lust for revenge for the Clinton impeachment by doing the same to Bush

(108)

(hotair)

Michael J. Fox appears in ad for a MD senate candidate who voted against stem-cell reasearch

(54)

Conservatives are getting tired of liberal college professors yammering about how bad the US is. This, of course, means conservatives are againt civic education altogether

(75)

Iran could have their own nukes by 2015. Or they might get an Israeli one a bit earlier

(251)

(Bradenton Herald)

Bush returns to Sarasota for first time since 9/11 to campaign, find out what happened to that damned goat

(114)

(Some Nitwit)

Ariana Huffington wishes the Democratic Party would stop wasting time getting ready for the election and actually running the country, and get back to what's REALLY important: Pissing and moaning about Joe Lieberman

(17)

(RedState)

America has suffered "divine vengeance" for not putting stuff about Jesus in the Constitution

(46)

Republican is so desperate to win, he's using an unusual variant of the Clinton defense: "B-b-b-but Clinton and I are good chums, so vote for me"

(7)

Republican congressman testifying today: "I told Hastert about Foley last spring." Hastert claims Democratic operatives put him in ice chamber-stasis for 6 months

(49)

(Chicago Tribune)

Not to be outdone by Democrats, RNC pulls their own race card. Problem is, it was the wrong one

(40)

(Towleroad.com)

Homophobic Polish prime minister Jaroslaw Kaczynski outed as gay. Officials relieved when reminded of punchline to: "Hey, did you hear the one about the Polish gay guy?"

(15)

(NY Sun)

Maybe Bush would consult Congress more if they didn't leak secrets like a 14-year old girl who just got her own phone

(34)

Bill Clinton asked about possible Hillary vs. Barack presidential race. Dodges question as if it was draft board

(18)

(WND)

Its okay to toss the bible in the trash can on the BBC, just not the Quran

(36)

(kos)

VA Democratic Senatorial candidate Jim Webb's name won't appear on voting machines in the state. For some reason or another the poor sports in his campaign are getting all mad and stuff

(87)

(Some Huff)

"Whoever's producing CBS News doesn't seem to grasp that "the blogs" are not some undifferentiated goo to spread on stories for spice"

(5)

(Wonkette)

Nevada State Representative hands the race for Governor to his opponent after drunken party in a public place

(135)

(The Australian)

"Those who have traditionally been a positive force for the liberation of women against oppression in other spheres have here largely been silent on the question of Islam's beliefs concerning half of humanity."

(613)

(Financial Times)

U.S. says Iraqi military is "75%" trained while Iraqi military just stands by and watches insurgents kill. At "100%" trained, the Iraqi military can be expected to taunt insurgents a second time

(RedState)

Dead people get to register to vote in St Louis, still can't find a ticket for tonight's game

(19)

Your tax dollars at work: Congressional newspaper has to re-issue scandal checklist, because so many broke over the break that the old one was obsolete

(20)

Let's see: Cheney resigned from Halliburton, divested all stock into a trust and Halliburton's contracts have all been cancelled. But let's write another column biatching about evil, greedy Halliburton anway

(153)

Annual "Simpsons" "Treehouse of Horror", set to air two days before the election, is a dirty damn liberal commie anti-Republican infomercial

(68)

NYT: Hey, you know how we exposed that perfectly legal terrorist bank tracking program? Yeah, well, we were wrong. Our bad

(NY Daily News)

Good news if you're confused about whether you should use the men's room or the ladies' room when visiting NYC

(7)

(ThinkProgress)

George Bush has discovered "the Google". No word on if he's searched for "failure" yet

(40)

Today's "SSN and other personal info may have been hacked from voter registration website" story comes to us from Chicago