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Sun June 10, 2012
Woodward and Bernstein say: If you think Nixon's coverups were worse than his crimes, you don't know Dick
Noted Socialist rag Forbes reports that Obama grew government spending far slower than any other recent President. Clinton came second, probably for the first time
Political Theory: How Lite beer ruined the national political culture
GOP mood toward Romney's fall prospects brighten, on realization that Obama couldn't keep a 7-11 afloat
So, why did Rand Paul endorse Mittens? To act as a double agent to defeat the New World Order, duh
People tend to vote for the candidate they'd most like to have a beer with, which means Obama is a lock because as a Mormon, Romney doesn't drink beer even if he wears blue jeans and hangs out with Kid Rock
Former GOP senator Alan Simpson sends an angry, hate-fueled letter to the Huffington Post complaining about "bullshiat and mush" in today's political spectrum, then goes on about yelling at clouds
Politician says government should decide what people get paid not the market. but it's a Republican saying this so it's ok
Never Happen Here: UK Government launches crackdown on 120,000 problem families who blame everyone but themselves
WND admits to being fooled by faked Birther photos and sites, but this of course proves the liberal conspiracy
Move along, people. Nothing to see here. No, there's no sit-in in that Obama campaign office. Keep moving
The GOP claims that Democrats want to cut your taxes
Social justice activist achieves Nirvana: Has conservative blogger arrested in court for writing about him
Sat June 09, 2012
Q. Are the 10 poorest states really Republican states? A. OK, fine... But it's the Democrat's fault they're poor
Qur'an-burning pastor transitions to hanging-Obama-in-effigy pastor, looking forward to finishing out his career as prison-chaplain pastor
Rumors swirling that the Romney campaign is trying to lock in the anti-volcano monitoring vote with his veep pick
That whole thing with the printer, Bruce Dackler, and Weedlord Bonerhitler yesterday? Yeah, totally planned, says NRCC. In unrelated news, lemons said to to be vey sweet this time of year
Diplomatic immunity is used for many things. Skipping out of a hotel bill however, is not one of them. Fark: a $7 million hotel bill
Meet the Mitt Romney birthers: "As it turns out, Romney has his set of detractors questioning his American citizenship - an Internet subculture that embodies the sort of rubber-and-glue politics that's helped define this election"
This week's Republican who bribed guys to cover up a gay affair is **spins the wheel** Charlie Crist
(Some scientist extraordinaire)
Neutrons & photons don't exist. The periodic table, Avogadro's gas law, relativity, quantum mechanics, white dwarfs, isotopes, and global warming are crap. The Earth is very young. It must be so, I read it in a high school textbook
For once, the Obama administration does something that the Bush administration never did
Fri June 08, 2012
"It is absolutely clear that the economy is not doing fine. That's why I had a press conference"
NY attorney general: 'We reserve the right to assemble a task force to study the feasibility of appointing a committee to investigate the possibility of constituting a grand jury to potentially weigh evidence of wrongdoing by banks'
Conservative Jonah Goldberg: 'Youth of the nation are too stupid to vote'
Alberto Gonzalez say Mitt Romney needs a "personal connection" to Hispanic voters and should maybe hire a Hispanic former attorney general who's had a tough time getting a job recently to do his outreach
According to Charles Krauthammer, Wisconsin was an "Icarus moment" for unions, which basically means they had the temerity to approach the Sun God who deigns to provide them light and heat and so deserve a cold, watery death
Turns out the best campaigner for Mitt Money is Bill Clinton
Green Party taps Stein. Helpful Farkers explain that you don't tap a stein, you tap a keg
Romney raises $76 million to Obama's $60 million. This is bad news, for Obama
"[Obama has] forced conservatives to think hard and express eloquently principles of religious liberty, limited government, free markets and Constitutional democracy"
How Republicans managed to completely and utterly screw up the balanced budget battle
Joe Scarborough: The NYT is biased. They would never run stories about liberals like the ones they run about Romney. NYT: You mean like this one, this one, this one, and this one? Joe Scarborough: The NYT is defensive and thin skinned
"Every terrorist on US soil has been a muslim"
The New York Daily News just found out that President Obama is black. Boy, are they pissed
Even Jon Stewart rips the left over the butthurt and douche fever exhibited over the Wisconsin recall vote
Rand Paul endorses Mitt Romney. RON PAWKWARD
GOP Rhetoric on immigration "anti-Hispanic" says former Attorney General and noted liberal Alberto Gonzales
Saskatchewan premier to leader of the federal NDP on his recent comments about the resource industry, "Come at me bro"
George W. Bush is the most unpopular living ex-President, at least until next January
Romney's ideas wouldn't fix our long term economic problems but on the bright side they also wouldn't fix our short term economic problems
Obama's birthday is coming up this summer and I know just what to get him: a Special Counsel investigation
Yes
R.I.P. to Newark Mayor Cory Booker... you're dead to the Obama administration for being honest
Toronto Mayor blames public,out-of-control councillors for "ludicrous" policy. Councillor in question is a member of Mayor's inner circle
Rep. Jesse Jackson Jr. (D-lusional) wants to raise the minimum wage to $10 an hour. Yea, that will fix this whole unemployment problem we're having right now, won't it?
Okay America, who wants the most extreme anti-abortion bill in the country? I see Michigan has its hand raised
Gitmo is finally closing... and by "closing" I mean "getting millions of dollars of upgrades"
Thu June 07, 2012
The GOP's plan to print out personalized internet petitions to repeal Obamacare and livestream the printing runs into a small snag when the internet gets involved
Latest public figure to speak out against minority rights? Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid
The next stop for UN election monitors might just be Florida
So apparently Obama accidentally joked about how his wife "doesn't go all the way down" and the right thinks it has its own Dan Quayle "potatoe" moment
Romney fundraiser held at wealthy donor's mansion allows guests the opportunity to view the owner's vast collection of art and artifacts, including a couple of paintings by a certain A. Hitler
And here we go... Nate Silver's first presidential election forecast of 2012 has Barack Obama as a very slight favorite to win reelection
Feds: "You are in violation of Federal law." - State: "I know you are but what am I?"
In 1996, Barack Obama was a member of (a) the Republican party, (b) the Democratic party, or (c) other?
Which state leads the nation in the number of public officials and employees who have been accused, charged, and convicted of breaking the law?
While the failures of public labor unions in Wisconsin get all the air time, no one is bothering to mention the ass kicking they took in California
In a shocking new report, the government discovers the judiciary is officially more farked than ever before. Could have spent the time and money actually fixing the judiciary, but why would they do that?
(Some Guy)
GOP Unity: "A Republican meeting led to dueling conventions, delegates carted out by the police and Ron Paul supporters describing injuries from the melee"
Jeb Bush informs nobody who asked that he will not run as V.P.
Greek neo-Nazi MP assaults two female politicians during a live TV debate. Who would expect this kind of behavior out of Nazis?
Presidential supporter Jackson Browne decides that Obama is running on empty
Is the result in Wisconsin a sign of things to come for Democrats, or was it just a terrifying fluke?
The latest award from the "Well that's embarrassing" files goes to Iowa Senator Chuck Grassley (R-ingtone) for neglecting to turn off his cell phone before starting his speech on the Senate floor (w/video)
Wed June 06, 2012
You probably haven't heard about the saddest election yesterday: retired birther Ewok named Kreep ekes out a win over Peed
Good grief Kwame Brown
Conservative talk show host says "it makes perfect sense" that people are on welfare because they don't read the Bible
Mitt Romney secretly attended the Bilderberg conference last week according to hotel staff. Kind of ruins it knowing the winner in advance, doesn't it?
"Two words -- Donald Trump. Next question"
Fox and Friends ponders if voters like Obama because they're misinfromed
"It's almost as if the conservative party gradually scared the ostensibly liberal party away from economic populism then reaped the electoral benefits of being the only populist party"
Sarah Palin: President Obama's "absence" in Wisconsin shows his "goose is cooked." Because folksy aphorisms are always accurate
Obama, Romney trade shots, beep-boops, on auto bailout
Despite the people getting their recall election, weeping Barrett fan tells CNN that democracy died tonight
Here's the Wisconsin recall demographic breakdown. Wait, 38 percent of union households voted FOR Walker?
First bin Laden, then Gaddafi, now the Beyonder? This guy is on a roll
(Some Guy)
After exit polls miss 7 point win, CNN already declaring they know Wisconsin election results in November because of polling
Why did the lefty cry himself to sleep? He can't recall
Interesting question: "What would the US look like today if Gore had won the 2000 election?" Hmmm. Just thinking about it now... *cue harps* OOPS. A rainbow just shot out of my ass, reflected off my 401k and hit Dick Cheney in the face
"All of us have had moments when things were not working out. Most of us have been in a bad place job-wise and you wonder if you'll ever get another chance. Lyndon Johnson had that feeling on steroids"
Wisconsin Republicans are saying they are not behind a voter fraud allegation tied to a phone number registered to the party
After conceding to Scott Walker, one of Mayor Tom Barrett's supporters walked up and slapped Barrett
Tue June 05, 2012
Walker survives recall. Carl still won't stay in the damn house
Mitt Romney's Hotmail account may have been hacked. This could result in the most embarrassing revelations since we learned Mitt Romney has a Hotmail account
Senate Republicans block equal pay for women. Well, of course they did
Today, Wisconsin faces a tough choice as they decided whether or not to recall Scott Walker for his partisan antics in what many are calling a preview of the upcoming presidential election. It's your Recall Discussion Thread
GOP: You know what worked really well for us last time? Politicizing Obama's speech on non-violence and working together after the Gabrielle Giffords shooting. Surely that can't go wrong again
North Carolina GOP platform states that "government should treat all citizens impartially regardless of wealth, race, ethnicity, disability, religion, sex, political affiliation or national origin" * does not apply to gays
NJ Gov. Chris Christie's claims of a "Jersey Comeback" as a basis for his tax-cut plan downgraded to "Jersey Performing Below Expectations"
(Christian Post)
Group of pastors that have never supported President Obama or anything he has done are now "heart-broken" over his support for marriage equality and requesting a meeting
Ninth circuit court declines further review of Prop 8 case, which means any further appeal would go to the Supreme Court
Soon only steers will be able to vote in Texas
Donald Trump says that birther is a derogatory term, akin to calling someone a insulting name like "insane, crackpot, tinfoil hat wearing conspiracy theorist" or "Donald Trump"
Guess who could finish in the top two in the California Senate primary today? ORLY? Ya, really
News: MSNBC on Wisconsin Recall: 'President Obama probably wouldn't make a difference anyway.' Other News: MSNBC gets one right
(Some Guy)
Democrats once again want you to know that their Wisconsin brethren are dumb enough to fall for the "Republicans vote today, Democrats tomorrow" robocalls
"I wonder what Alec Baldwin thinks of Mayor Michael Bloomberg's proposed soda ban," nobody asked
Jon Stewart says Obama team is playing 'Polish That Turd'
Unfortunately for Mitt Romney, he used to be governor of MA, which means that , thanks to open-records laws, all those emails he wrote about how much he loved the individual mandate and Romneycare, are now available to the public
According to the dark money behind the Wisconsin recall, Gov. Scott Walker has a lot of out-of-state buddies
Thankfully, today's Wisconsin Gubernatorial recall election will put an end to the bickering. Just kidding; Democrats have already hired more than 440 attorneys to contest the results
Conservative blogger's advice to Obama: To win reelection, you should implement more Republican policies
Openly gay, pro gay marriage, pro choice Republican running for Congressional seat in Massachusetts. Yes, you read that right
Since 2005, the Federal government has spent $1 billion to help your precious snowflakes walk to school
(Ulsterman Report)
UM: The president you mean? He watches videos of the drone attacks? WHI: Yeah - like it was porn. these drones... an American president who has the video sent up to his personal study so he can watch them over and over again
"If Republicans take over the White House and the Congress and start cutting, the same voices now championing compromise as a virtue in itself will be applauding the principled idealism of Democrats who refuse to compromise"
Romney pledges as president to dump GM stock to lose $16 billion for taxpayers so he can declare Obama's Detroit bailout a failure... even though he says it was his plan in the first place
So Mitt, let's see how that solar company that received $1.5 million in state loans when you were governor of Massachusetts is doing. Oh darn
Democrats support upcoming defense cuts. US risks to drop from number one in defensive spending to numer one
Sen. Lindsey Graham, the South Carolina Republican is against tax increases but pro "revenue increases"
Buchanan muses that it may not be a good idea for the United States to ally with al Qaeda in yet another war
Actual headline: "Can Romney prove he's not a space alien?" Everyone knows that he's really a cyborg
Cuomo 2016. Book it, dude
Bush Jr. comes out supporting tax increases. Calls Republicans that signed the Norquist pact "spineless, gutless toadies"
The 9th Circuit Court of Appeals decides whether to grant Proposition 8 en banc hearing or leave it up to SCOTUS (decision 10am PDT)
Politician sad that you can't just shoot people who come near your border "because bleeding hearts groups will immediately begin to shriek and turn to the courts"
Mon June 04, 2012
10 things presidential candidates won't say. #11: "George Lazenby was my favorite James Bond"
Why should you vote for Romney? If he wins, Republicans will stop deliberately trying to crash the economy
Obama waxes nostalgic for John McCain, saying he's such a great guy it's a shame he was never president. Can I have some of whatever he's smoking?
Regulation schmegulation... Pittsburgh was a libertarian paradise until 1946
US Federal Government now using drones to spy on dangerous national security threats - Ranchers in America's Heartland
Republican spokesman who suggested throwing acid at female Democrats steps down. Guess it didn't go well with the base
Romney shill claims Mitt's job creation record is misleading due to all the facts and stuff
It's funny how it's Obama's fault when gas prices rise, but he doesn't get credit when they fall. It's almost as if the liberal media isn't
Taxpayers ante up $36.6 million this year to pay for the Democratic and Republican conventions. Wise investment in democracy or a waste of money?
If the turn-out of women is higher than expected in tomorrow's recall vote in WI, Scott Walker will likely lose, and the female gender will have claimed its first battlefield victory in this year's "War on Women"
If we give Mitt Romney the keys to the White House, he should begin undoing what has been done to stifle and penalize those Americans who know how to make our economy work
North Carolina legislators plan to make exception this year only and keep liquor stores open on Labor Day for DNC convention, Fark headlines
According to a Rasmussen poll, Americans think that President Obama is more extreme than Candidate Romney. Lets see who can windsurf better, first, okay?
Clinton '16
The most significant thing that makes Barack Obama view me as his worst nightmare is simply this: I tell the truth about him. I don't need to lie
The democratic poltical genius who was behind John Kerry's electrifying 2004 campaign warns Obama that he'll lose if he focuses on his record rather than what a poopyhead Romney is
Romney doesn't want to talk about Obama's Muslim faith and Obama doesn't want to talk about Romney's magic underwear and white Jesus religion. Guess it's up to the equal opportunity offenders on Fark
How to tell the Dems are planning to lose big in Wisconsin tomorrow. 1) The "it doesn't really matter" spin is in full force. 2) The standard-issue lefty blogs are still spreading a debunked rumor that Walker has a love child
Paul Krugman: Scott Walkers economic plans are bad for Wisconsin. George Will: Then how come the $3billion deficit he inherited in now a surplus
Polls shows Obama remains more popular than Romney, Romney 2.0, Romney 2.5 and Romney 3.0
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