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Sun August 19, 2007
The nation's hip-hop community embraces Barack Obama, dubs him "B-Rock" -- which is sure to go over well with Iowa voters
Canadian Prime Minister to tell George Bush on Monday, "Keep your damn dirty monkey paws off our frozen wasteland"
(Crooks & Liars)
"We are skeptical of recent press coverage portraying the conflict as increasingly manageable and feel it has neglected the mounting civil, political and social unrest we see every day" Dems? No. 82nd Airborne
French Foreign Minister makes symbolic trip to Iraq stating they want to "turn the page" and look to the future. In other words, the French want something from the U.S. again
Minnesota paper: "[D]ocuments ... reveal that last year bridge officials talked openly about the possibility of the bridge collapsing -- and worried that it might have to be condemned"
(Some news and policy)
Ron Paul wins something
Gunning for "understatement of the century", Rove announces GOP facing "tough contest" in 2008. "Obvious" tag develops inadequacy complex
Associated Press Writer points out the obvious: the Democratic candidates are all pretty much the same
Internal passports to be required in US Parks. No Papers, No Picnic in zie Homeland
Congress: You mean we're supposed to READ legislation? I thought that was the interns' job. That, along with keeping the liquor cabinet stocked and taking care of Mr. Happy's needs once in a while
Celebrity political endorsements are nothing new. Case in point: Jackie Gleason doing a commercial for Richard Nixon
After being giving $30 Billion, Israeli irritated that U.S. not helping enough with their Syrian, Hezbollah, and Iranian Problems
Pot calls kettle black
Rudy Giuliani changes SAT score, high school class rank, draft deferment info on his own Wikipedia page
Andrew Jackson driven from his home because of political correctness. Suck it Whigs
In an effort to avoid his mistakes during Hurricane Katrina, Bush will be travelling to communities in the path of the storm, promising to build or rebuild several of Trent Lott's porches, whatever it takes
Australia's next Prime Minister calls himsel a goose for visting NY sex club. "I had drunk a fair bit and I don't have a clear recollection of what happened"
Saudis plan fence around Iraqi border, a 560-mile barricade designed to keep out extremists. No word yet on any effect it will have on migrant workers
Here's a nice summary of the 2008 candidates' gaffes so far
The radioactive-lining to the government winning their case against Jose Padilla and his co-defendants means they have to consider trying everyone they have in custody in the U.S. court system. Oops
The Bush White House has used U.S. taxpayer's funds in direct violation of the Hatch Act since the first day they stepped in office
Sat August 18, 2007
Fri August 17, 2007
"47 percent of Americans now think we're making progress in Iraq, despite the best effort by our major news media organizations to ignore this, to bury it, to cast it in the worst possible light."
Barack Obama pledges to clean up Washington. Just like every presidential candidate before him, except he really, really means it
(Some Anti-Moore Guy)
Couple drives 325 miles from Canada to Montana to give birth to quadruplets because socialist hospital is full. Suck it, Libs
This day in history: The blow job heard around the world
Edwards attacks "robber barons" in Iowa, vows to give that dastardly Carnegie ruffian what for
If you can't stop yourself from sending voicemails that say "the only good Arab is a dead Arab" and "fark the Arabs... they will burn in hellfire," then perhaps senior U.S. diplomat is not the right career choice for you
If you are a Democrat presidential candidate, it's probably a good idea not to have investments with a sub-prime lender foreclosing on Katrina victims
The military has literally run out of Purple Hearts, asks soldiers to please try ducking, or something
Huffington Post wants you to feel very, very sorry for Padilla. Not because he's innocent -- because he was caught and convicted by the Bush Administration
Romney casts himself as the "change" candidate... and by "change" he means his flip-flopping mind every time it's convenient
Kentucky Republicans slap together the most pathetic Photoshop you'll see today
Bush reportedly upset after reading a news story. Was the story about A) Iraq? B) Immigration? C) The cowboy clothes he wears? In other news, Bush can read
Russian bombers are being deployed. WOLVERINES
"The revelations from last week about complicity and torture confirm our worst suspicions of the dangers of unchecked executive power in a democracy"
Could Abramoff's taint affect the '08 elections? Analysts say voters could go nuts over it, or it could slip through the cracks, but it'll likely be somewhere in between
(Khaleej Times Online)
Syria and Saudi Arabia are fast becoming enemies. Jihadilarity to ensue
"The Internet is the new Afghanistan"
India's leader says PM would get bullet in China for lying. Later, he also speculated that he would get spanking in Germany and a cute, cuddly puppy in Sweden
Bush may bypass Congress with his agenda. Obvious tag stands up, takes a bow, goes back to sleep
What happens when you claim you were at the WTC ruins as much, if not more than, the rescue and recovery workers? The press looks into it and finds you were only there for a total of 29 hours over a three-month period
Devastating review of "An Inconvenient Truth," noting that a zero-carbon target is pretty silly for six billion people who breathe out carbon dioxide every second
Add one more item to your list of how to silence your political opponents: Poisoned underpants
Having trouble deciding whether Karl Rove was a success or a failure? A few simple maps might help you make up your mind
Headlines we love: "Hillary is the first choice of Martian visitors"
Obama's answer to criticism that he lacks experience: "No one had more experience in Washington than Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld"
Coalition death toll in Iraq reaches the 4000 mark
Does being A) Governor of Alaska for less than a year, and B) hot qualify you to be vice president? If you're the Republican Party, the answer may be "yes"
School named after President James A. Madison. If you know why this is wrong, put the history book down and go outside
(Real Clear Politics)
The debates are killing Edwards & Obama in the polls - Not because Hillary is the better candidate, but because journalists are lazy
Thu August 16, 2007
Russian President Vladimir Putin signs a 7-year $200 billion military rearmament deal. Bonus: They made nice with China and are conducting join-military operations. This can only end well
Horrific photographic evidence suggests that Jenna's got a bun in the oven
A unique departure from the old "I'm resigning to spend more time with my family" excuse: Tony Snow likely to resign soon because he is running out of money
Jenna Bush gets engaged; open bar at the wedding reception intuitively obvious to the casual observer
Fred Thompson, soon-to-be the next Republican president, just embraced the fair tax. Hillary now, officially, stands no chance of winning
Newt Gingrich: "A man who executed three college students and raped a young girl was an illegal immigrant." Huffington Post: "Newt Gingrich is about to launch pogroms and declare open war on brown people"
Abortion pill safe. Suck it, Cons
Giuliani defends NYC Sanctuary City Policy in 1996... wait for it ...(pause)... here it comes... "9-11"
Rudy Giuliani, who informed his wife via press conference that he was divorcing her, tells the media to "leave my family alone"
Senator Arlen Specter wants to get rid of Alberto Gonzales and build "fences and towers" to keep out illegal immigrants. NOBODY HISPANIC
Rolling over for the labor unions, Democrats could bring back trade protectionism if they win the White House in 2008. Say farewell to cheap stuff from China, welcome back empty soda bottles in the door of your American car
Another rising GOP star goes down in flames following arrest for larceny
Meanwhile, back in Cleveland, the hottest wife in politics and her husband the presidential candidate are facing a congressional primary challenge from the somewhat-less-crazy wing of the Democratic party
Giuliani's repeated assertions that he was exposed to health risks like the firefighters at Ground Zero now raise questions about whether he can sustain his health as president
Obama to appear on the "Tyra Banks Show" and Hillary on the "Ellen DeGeneres Show." So now we know which candidate is going after the hot chicks vote and which is going after the lesbian vote
Giuliani joins Hillary in being prepared to attack Iran if necessary, still not willing to join Obama in invading Pakistan for fun
Hugo Chavez proposes constitutional changes to move Venezuela towards socialism. Don't worry, it's certain that Bush is still the bad guy somehow in all this
United States begs Canada to take Guantanamo inmates that it's willing to imprison in Cuba but not willing to let settle in the United States when they prove to be no threat. Canada to U.S.: DIAF
Six years too late, U.S. forces plan to storm Tora Bora. Say "Hi" to the mountain goats for me
Wed August 15, 2007
Dutch Catholic bishop says we should all call God "Allah" to placate Muslims and foster understanding. Also wants us to wear pancakes on our heads to help cure cancer
There once was a mayor of York, whose presidential bid lacked torque, then a pizza man, became a big fan, so a win would guarantee pork
Obama says we can't blame Bush for everything that's wrong with our country; and real change will take hard work from ordinary Americans. Now hold on there big fella, that's just crazy talk
"Despite Bush's repeated statements that the report will reflect evaluations by Petraeus, administration officials said it would actually be written by the White House"
Everyone who's polling over 40 percent, take one step forward. Not so fast Bush, Congress, Iraq, direction of the country
Fox News' John "Gibby" Gibson warns us about the new threat: The War on John Gibson
Sometimes running for President is all fun and games. A look at the candidates' visits to the state fair
U.S. to ink $30 billion arms deal with Israel to counter the negative influences of al-Qaida, Hezbollah, Iran, Syria, ManBearPig
Quebec, to defend itself from cultural assimilation by English Canada and the USA, to hold public hearings on how to make immigrants speak French, eat poutine, dangle a cigarette from their unwashed, unshaven lips while expressing malaise
Yesterday's bombing in Iraq is proof that A) the surge is working because it shows the terrorist can't operate in Baghdad anymore; B) the surge is failing because clearly terrorists are still able to attack anywhere in Iraq
Giant Douche lands first post-resignation interview with Turd Blossom
Fred Thompson is sick of congress' misuse of earmarks and wants it fixed or he's going to take his Reagan stick and go pound some sense into them
"It is likely that in another 20 years, if use continues to escalate, the death toll from side effects of long-term marijuana use will equal those of longer-term tobacco use"
Memorial statue for Martin Luther King to be installed on National Mall to be made in China. Statue to be unveiled in 2009, then will be recalled and removed for using lead paint in 2010
Your chances of being killed by a terrorist slightly lower than those of being hit by a meteorite. OMG METEORITES
Mayor Bloomberg's plan for "congestion pricing" tolls in New York has rolled one more car length forward
Petraeus may suggest fewer troops. We'll call this "The Ebb"
"I've seen a man of far-sighted courage put America on a war footing and protect us against a brutal enemy and a dangerous conflict that will shape this new century," - Karl Rove. The future is bright
Judge instructs his jury not to watch Nancy Grace
Illinois governor to cut any spending he doesn't like and then put the money anywhere he wants to. Isn't democracy wonderful?
US considering terrorist label for Iran's Revolutionary Guards. Naturally, Iran will take that as a favorable sign of trust and friendship
Kucinich points out that the DLC, which Hillary is a member of, is just a bunch of Neocons
Former DA Mike Nifong complains about "the fundamental unfairness" of bar association's handling of his ethics case
Netanyahu wins Likud race, eyes PM role
Tue August 14, 2007
Top brass from 19 armies conducted a secret meeting in Sydney, Australia last week. Watch your butt, Iran. Shhhhh, don't tell anyone
Washington Post ran a story about icebergs melting, seals vanishing, and the Arctic Ocean warming in 1922, but apparently President Harding could care less about global waming
Giuliani proposes ID cards, fingerprinting and tracking devices for immigrants. Gold Stars and Pink Triangles optional
The Associated Press decides to fact check Obama's Afghanistan "gaffe" and discovers that he's... um... well, he's right after all - Western forces have been killing civilians at a faster rate than the insurgents
Pew Survey: GOP disliked more than, well, just about everything
After discovering that political humor needs to be funny, Fox News cancels "Half Hour News Hour"
The Liberal Media covered John Edward's $400 Haircut three times more than they did Giuliani's "I was on Ground Zero as much as the first responders" gaffe
Former House Speaker Dennis Hastert (R-IL) planning to leave Congress after next year, will likely retire to Tatooine
College cafe that refused service to a guy wearing a pro-Israel T-shirt agrees not to discriminate any more, but says cashiers can still refuse individuals if they feel like it. All hail tolerance
Guess which GOP candidate Kos fears: Nope, guess again. Again. Not yet
Only 12 percent of voters pay attention to California budget problems. The rest are too busy ruining your marriage, aborting your unborn children, and generally peeing in your cornflakes to care
Don't gloat yet: Bush could still be considered an awesome president. "Friends used to tell me that in March 1991 George Bush would win by a landslide in 1992, and in 1987 Ronald Reagan would either be impeached or resign,"
First-ever "RINO" (Republican In Name Only) award nominees announced for Web poll to "separate the elephant from the rhino"
Edging out "ebola virus test subject" for title of World's Deadliest Job: Guatemalan politican
How tax breaks enacted after Katrina are resulting in $1 million condos in Tuscaloosa for those who need the help the least: Alabama football fans
Alabamastan city to vote on banning alcohol sales today, Christians to fast and pray in support. Ain't democracy great? It can even impose tyranny if you want it to
Because there were still three people who didn't know she was a pushy broad, Elizabeth Edwards slams Hillary and Obama, tangerines
Leave it to hate-filled liberals to rejoice the retirement of a man who's dedicated his life toward serving the nation he loves
Romney is like Edwards, except he has charisma and doesn't chase ambulances
Official Newsweek apology for its "fake but accurate" story about global warming last week
Our 16th president, one of the most revered men in America's history, was a mutant. Professor X unavailable for comment
Yes, I would also like to express... my fondness for that particular arena of public discourse
Irene Morgan Kirkaldy died this weekend. She did the same thing Rosa Parks did. Ten years before Rosa Parks did it
Mon August 13, 2007
McCain calls Iowa straw poll "meaningless," which is Straight-Talk Express for "I am totally screwed"
(World Net Daily)
San Francisco trying to get Michael Savage fired, may be receiving a large lawsuit shortly
It's official. Bill O' Reilly just lost the last friends he had
What happens when you debunk a myth that supports African American paranoia about the U.S. government? Well, if you are XM radio hosts, you get fired
(The New York Times)
Remember the Democrats' promise that they'll pull the troops out of Iraq as soon as they can get into the White House? Yeah, not so much
The Economist dishes out the political truth the right wing can't handle: The GOP has driven off a cliff
French First Lady Cecilia Sarkozy, the Courtney Love of politics, blows off lunch with her husband and Bush
(New York Times)
It turns out there were, errr, factual problems, with the Hillary fundraising numbers, and, errr ummm, she didn't really make more cash than Obama last quarter
Obama's wife is tired of people questioning if her husband is "black" enough and says no one questions Hillary's manliness
Mike Huckabees on placing a surprise second in the Iowa Straw Poll: "'Freebird' is what did it.... When 'Freebird' can play to the voters up north, you know you've got a winning combination"
Iraq's top Sunni says Iran is conducting genocide. "By God, it is a war that started in Baghdad and will not stop there. It will engulf any place where Arabic is spoken." That quote tells you how much fun this will be
Even Angelina Jolie is jumping off the sinking presidential campaign ship known as John Edwards '08
The War on Terror (TM), six years later
Let a playa play: Former Congressman Harold Ford Jr. likes his fish cold and his women hot, blonde and in triplicate
Meet Marcus Luttrell, the sole survivor after his SEAL team was ambush in Afghanistan, who was shot multiple times while crawling to safety and fighting the whole way: He'd like to say a thing or two about the "rules of war"
Louisiana gubernatorial candidate also has experience in removing demons from college girls using the power of Christ. So that's what they call that sort of thing these days
Karl Rove to resign at the end of the month
Canada becoming Argentina of North America as war criminals are allowed to appeal deportations approximately forever. "It's one of the tragedies of Canada," says one lawyer, comparing it to the Maple Leafs and Labatt Blue
Tommy Thompson quits race for president. In other news, some alliterated guy was running for president
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