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Sun May 13, 2007
(Think Progress) Cool Old and Busted: Retired generals speaking out against Bush's Iraq War strategy. New Hotness: Active US generals speaking out against Bush's Iraq War strategy if the surge continues past September (21)
UPI Unlikely The Republican Minority leader in the Senate says the U.S. would leave if asked by the Iraqi Parliament (12)
AP Interesting Voters in Farmers Branch, Texas pass "Anti-Illegal-Immigrant Law", but an unelected judge will probably rule it "unConstitutional" (77)
Boston Globe Interesting Human rights groups are silent on Iraq because they don't have a workable plan either (33)
(Daily Kos) Unlikely Pelosi should be impeached because she hasn't impeached Bush yet (44)
BBC News Mullah Dadudallah killed after endless taunts (138)
(Some Guy) Obvious Relations between Bush and Pootie-Poot slide from soul-peering chummy truck rides in Crawford to chilly cold-war turd-blossoms (27)
Cleveland Unlikely Ballistics expert who was the first non-governmental specialist allowed to examine the evidence in President Kennedy's assassination dies of natural causes. Or at least, that's what they would have you believe (48)
YouTube Video "A Tribute to Communism" short film mocks thousands of other YouTube communist/Marxist tribute videos with the reality of their ideology (140)

Sat May 12, 2007
Washington Post Obvious We Love You, Mr. Bush. Sincerely, Hallibuton (49)
Newsweek Stupid For Barack Obama, the road to the White House involves going to Detroit to tell auto workers how much American cars suck. Sometimes the truth hurts and sometimes a man named Hussein has to tell it like it is (42)
AFP Obvious UN 'concerned' about reported plans for Israeli settlement expansion that are in direct contravention to US, international law. U.S. Media more concerned with Hamas cartoon characters (44)
Yahoo Cool Mitt Romney and his wives, I mean wife, find the polygamous past of Mormonism troubling, but intriguing in a swinger kind of way (16)
National Review Followup After Barack HUSSEIN Obama demands American carmakers be forced to make cars that get 45mpg, it emerges that he drives a 340-HP V-8 Hemi Chrysler 300C getting a mere 21mpg (112)
AP Dumbass Sam Brownback tells Wisconsin Republicans Peyton Manning is the best quarterback of all time. There goes the cheesehead vote (23)
(Right Wing News) Obvious Five things you can't say in America (254)
(Science Blogs) Cool Half of all marriages ending in divorce is a myth. Here comes the statistics and math (39)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Mitt Romney promotional flyer hypes up how sexy he is and how women will vote for him because can't resist his good looks. Ooooooo-kay (23)
(Some Guy) Hero Court orders county courthouse in Texas to remove unconstitutional bible display (46)
News.com.au Stupid US plans to block G8 declaration of Global Warming. In other news, OIL (44)

Fri May 11, 2007
(Some Beer Lover) Hero Congress is considering a bill that would cut the tax on beer by half, presumably making beer cheaper. This group is against cheap beer, but helpfully provides a list of Congressmen you can thank (103)
ABC News Followup Ann Coulter cleared in Florida voting probe, said he knew he'd be exonerated all along (61)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Trent Lott would like you to know that if you speak to the President you should keep your whore mouth shut about it (28)
(Captain's Quarters) Scary You don't need to arm the student body to get potential psychotic school shooters off campus. Just notify the administration that they hold conservative views. They'll be removed in handcuffs (79)
Newsday Followup Michael Moore vigorously blasts the Bush administration for investigating his trip to Cuba, and then sits down to catch his breath (98)
Canada.com Stupid UN to nominate Zimbabwe to chair commission on sustainable development. Zimbabwe expected to kick all the white countries out, give the office furniture to its cronies, withold the staff's pay, rape the interns, and beat anyone who complains (118)
Yahoo Interesting North Korea and Iran looking to join forces, demand one MILLION dollars, give Bush the finger (29)
The Smoking Gun Amusing Barack Obama also doesn't want to see a pantyless Britney Spears. The Smoking Gun is there (191)
(Some Germans) Interesting Journalist questions whether global warming is really a bad thing. (Bonus: pics of German girls sunbathing) (74)
YouTube Video Congressman Robert Wexler (D-FL) gets a little testy with Alberto Gonzales at House hearings on attorney firings. And by testy, we mean really, really pissed (226)
Yahoo Asinine Pope threatens Mexican politicians with excommunication if they vote pro-choice. Suck it, libritos (50)
Chicago Tribune Dumbass Obama: "We should force our auto makers to make cars that average 45mpg like Japanese cars do" Toyota: "What the hell are you talking about, rookie?" (632)
Slate Dumbass Today's Democratic politician too important to obey speed limits comes to you from Governor Bill Richardson (160)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Former president of ACLU arrested for kiddie porn, proving once and for all that the ACLU is a front for Godless communism (195)
Guardian.com Obvious The American People have spoken They do not approve of this administration and support the Democrat Congress. What's that? Oh, they think Congress sucks too? Nevermind (54)
Drudge Amusing Is there anything creepier than Mike Wallace asking Mitt Romney about pre-marital sex? (24)
CNN Obvious Giuliani plans to announce his views on abortion rights in advance of next week's debate, provided he receives the relevant poll data in time (38)
News.com.au Strange Australian Prime Minister compares Snoop Dogg to Holocaust denier David Irving. Bonus weirdness: he said this to a bunch of school kids (25)
MDN Amusing I can has diplomacy? (131)
(Alternet) Amusing Romney to attempt to copy Bush's strategy, run on a platform of protecting America from a scary foreign nation. Difficulty: he picked France (19)
Yahoo Dumbass Presidential contender John McCain says that President Bush's numbers (six, six, and six) are hurting the GOP (16)
(Some Guy) Dumbass John Edwards promises 9/11 conspiracy nut that he'll look into the collapse of WTC7 (83)
Daily Mail Followup Remember the report that Tony Blair was set to make £10 million when he retires? Well, it's more like £40 million (13)
CBS News Obvious NASA jumps on global warming bandwagon, and they brought their giant space thermometer to prove it (27)

Thu May 10, 2007
(Anamosa Journal Eureka) Obvious Giuliani campaign cancels because people hosting event aren't rich enough. No, really (53)
(National Journal) Obvious Another day, another scandal. The Bush administration has withheld a series of e-mails from Congress documenting the role of Karl Rove in installing Timothy Griffin as U.S. attorney for the Eastern District of Arkansas (102)
Slashdot Obvious Florida primary may not count for Democrats. Gee, just like general elections (31)
(Think Progress) Obvious Former congressman Tom Delay(R-Taxus) wins the spin competition by successfully completing a double-reverse Godwin (79)
CBS News Interesting Maryland governor endorses Hillary Clinton, gives her a case of crabs (28)
Wired Scary The "new" AT&T gets ripped a new arse in spying case (419)
The Raw Story Interesting Moderate Republicans warn the commander guy that they will abandon him on the War in Iraq if major progress not seen by fall (72)
Yahoo Interesting Moderates in Congress seek to break war-funding impasse. In other news, there are moderates left in Congress (63)
(IHT) Scary Putin likens U.S. foreign policy to that of Third Reich. This should end well (381)
(Free Press) Obvious Karl Rove and new U.S. Attorney Tim Griffin at the center of a scheme to disenfranchise black U.S. soldiers by sending them voting notices when they knew the soldiers were overseas, then taking them off voting rolls (54)
Abc.net.au Amusing Prime minister of Australia quizzed by teenager about how he grooms two caterpillars that live above his eyes (32)
(Crooks & Liars) Interesting Pelosi threatens to take Bush to court if keeps abusing signing statements to circumvent enforcement of new laws (35)
Wonkette Obvious Dick Cheney "may be" on D.C. madam's infamous list. Compared to war crimes and shooting his friends in the face, this is probably a minor infraction (228)
CBS New York Followup Tornado victim disputes governor's claim that there were no Hummers. "I was getting Hummers every day," he said. Submitter wants to be a tornado victim too now (88)
National Review Interesting NYT yesterday: Fort Dix plotters weren't devout Muslims. NYT today: The plotters "not only prayed here at the Al Aqsa Islamic Center, but also recently began repairing its roof" (79)
ABC News Obvious Fred Thompson's popularity as candidate growing even though he's still not running for president (107)
Yahoo Dumbass Barack HUSSEIN Obama's lead in poll helps Al Qaeda, causes global warming and might even be related to oral cancer... according to Ann Coulter (72)
WFTV Obvious Feds probe pinko Michael Moore's Cuba trip (73)
Wonkette Weird The Bible commands you to obey Lou Dobbs over Jesus, according to Lou Dobbs (24)
(Alternet) Amusing Is Paris Hilton more accountable than Bush? (33)
The Raw Story Interesting Alaskan ex-senator and presidential candidate says love between two men is beautiful. Hey, Anchorage gets cold and lonely sometimes (23)
Guardian.com Obvious In latest indication that the war in Iraq is turning into an unqualified success, U.S. embassy in Baghdad orders its staff to wear flak jackets and helmets to work (22)

Wed May 09, 2007
11 Alive Dumbass Saxby Chamblis (R-GA) reports that the progress in Iraq is "amazing," as are the halucinogens he is apparently on (72)
(Loose Change 911) Dumbass Creators of "Loose Change" mondo conspiracy film announce release of fourth version in September, compare selves to Rosa Parks and Nelson Mandela (89)
(Pennlive.com) Stupid Sperm donor must pay child support for children of a lesbian couple for whom he provided sperm (270)
The Raw Story Obvious The Decider has spoken: Obstructionist Democrats will have their plans to destroy America vetoed until they stop obstructing the will of the executive branch (176)
Yahoo Amusing Mitt Romney notices Al Sharpton, thereby giving him another 15 minutes he doesn't deserve (27)
NJ.com Dumbass Voters happy no one but incumbents on ballot. Voting make brain hurt (9)
Washington Post Obvious RNCC chief unveils plan to re-take the House: By addressing the real needs of voters and serving the country. Just kidding -- they're gonna smear Nancy Pelosi and throw the word "liberal" around as often as possible (141)
The Register Amusing U.S. spy agency chief is so far out of touch, he doesn't think that other countries have spy satellites in orbit (26)
Yahoo Misc Bush waits as long to visit Greenburg, KS as he did New Orleans after Katrina. In other news, Bush hates Kansans (55)
Daily Mail Cool EU backs away from plan to ban pound and ounce measurements. Suck it, metrics (169)
(Dilbert Blog) Amusing Best. Government. Evar: "You’d just sit there all day long with an adult diaper waiting for someone to sucker punch Teddy Kennedy" (16)
MSNBC Silly French business community breathing easier now that Bill O'Reilly has lifted his boycott of French products. Paris Business Review personally thanks O'Reilly for boycott, which increased French imports to the U.S. by almost 30 percent. O RLY? (99)
(Some Guy) Ironic "Today" has no time for negative Obama, Edwards stories, but plenty for Bush's "1776" (160)
USA Today Unlikely Dick "Go F**k Yourself" Cheney makes a surprise visit to Baghdad; teaches warring factions all about diplomacy; calms everybody with his peaceful demeanor (204)
Fox News Dumbass "Cynthia McKinney Profiles In Race-Baiting Award" goes to Detroit Councilwoman JoAnn Watson, who labels a deputy "racist" because he wouldn't let her past a security checkpoint without ID (32)
CNN Interesting Dems: "Big Oil, we think you're making obscene profits." Big Oil: "'Obscene profits'? You mean 'market forces'" (101)
(Daily Kos) Asinine Condoleezza Rice took part in the illegal kickbacks to Saddam Hussein while on Chevron's board. Prior to her involvement being revealed, Fox News called the "Oil for Food" kickbacks "The biggest scandal in human history" (45)
Guardian.com Interesting Most Iranians hate President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, too (23)
(Some Guy) Interesting If Britain still ruled America... (69)
CBS New York Dumbass Barack Obama announces new death toll in Kansas tornado is 10,000, up from the initial count of... 12. The 1,600 residents of the town scratch their heads collectively (268)
(TPM) Obvious This morning's Pelosi waterfront story? Yup, it was bullshiat (109)

Tue May 08, 2007
Yahoo Interesting Man in India campaigns for political party to protect rights of "living dead"; founds Braaaaaaaaaaains Party (31)
(Some Guy) Obvious Former Alaskan Senate President Ben Stevens, son of Ted Stevens, accused of taking bribes from oil companies. Actual quote: "A caveman could have figured it out" (21)
Kansas City Followup Kansas now okays condom usage in father-daughter relationships (41)
Yahoo Asinine "Okay guys, here's the new plan: We'll give the president what he wants, let him slap us around for another couple of months and then stand up to him" (66)
JSOnline Amusing In America, when politicians disagree, they respectfully debate the issue. In Taiwan, they beat each other (67)
Time Obvious Time story: "A 'Pro-American' French President?" Bonus: Picture of president-elect showing a room full of people how to surrender properly (109)
Yahoo Hero New Jersey lawmakers considering abolishing the death penalty. After all, if they have to live in Jersey, why should convicts get the easy way out? (163)
Reuters Obvious World Bank: "Wolfowitz is a crook"; White House: "So? What are you trying to say?" (75)
Village Voice Asinine Last year: New York Times won a Pulitzer for exposing the government's data mining for national security. This year: NYT announces it's data mining its own customers to increase profits (65)
Salon Sad Former CIA director George Tenet has made $2.3 million from the war he helped start (155)
UPI Interesting Non-runner Gore is third in presidential poll (48)
NYPost Interesting French leftists painted Sarkozy as a dangerous and incompetent "French Bush," yet he still won. In related news, neocons will dance on your graves (52)
Cleveland Obvious I actually voted for banning lobbyist-funded flights before I voted against it (23)
Guardian.com Dumbass The latest thing killing the planet? "Binge flying." Al Gore goes wheels up to England to have a chat with article's author (171)
(crooksandliars) Amusing Olbermann brings tough guest on to talk about Gonzogate: Rachel Maddow from Air America (122)
(Some Guy) Amusing If you ever thought that Republicans (Cheneyburton) liked to pad their pockets, you should meet the Democrats (Pelosi-China Town) (81)
Washington Post Interesting Clinton helps make the cost of AIDS drugs affordable because, short of monogamy, this is the best we can do for people, and he knows that monogamy doesn't work (54)
(Some Guy) Interesting Nations are racing to plant flags and claim the "new world" of islands and sea routes that are emerging as Arctic ice melts. So, what do they know about climate change that Fox News doesn't? (29)
London Times Dumbass “You helped us celebrate our bicentennial in 1796,” Bush said confidently, and in a split second realised his error (324)
Yahoo Asinine Lott: Strategy in Iraq must show results by fall, but that's not a timetable or anything (46)
LA Times Interesting A key Republican House leader says that if Bush's current strategy in Iraq is not working by fall, members of Congress will make rude noises and shake their little fists (20)

Mon May 07, 2007
(Some Guy) Asinine The RIAA strikes again: Selling your used CDs to the local record joint will soon be more scrutinized than getting a driver's license (87)
(KCBS) Obvious Kansas National Guard to have difficulty cleaning up the tornado-related disaster in Kansas because most of their equipment is tied up in the Bush-related disaster in Iraq (46)
Time Followup Romney apparently got the "Marriages last seven years" bit from a sci-fi novel which was basically a fictionalization of the Book of Mormon set in outer space. Mormons in SPAAAACCCCEEEE (38)
Yahoo Ironic Russia warns West against re-writing Soviet history. Obvious tag explodes, is then promptly airbrushed out and replaced by picture of happy kitten (11)
USA Today Spiffy Bush approval ratings 10 percent higher than this time last year. Suck it, libs (81)
Houston Chronicle Interesting And, lo, the seventh seal was broken and the great oil companies of Texas began funding Democrats (57)
Yahoo Interesting While a majority of people say they want a Democrat to win the White House in 2008, they usually pick the Republican in matchups between declared candidates (105)
Yahoo Stupid So we were like, "Give it back" and he was like, "Fark off" and we're like, "He uses the Ho word" and he's like dropping the F-bomb on us and shiat (14)
(NY Times) Obvious Bush and Queen Elizabeth celebrate common values: Hereditary rule by the aristocracy, a 1950s worldview (15)
Boston Globe Obvious Poll shows 75 percent of Republicans think we can win the war, 70 percent of Democrats disagree. In other news, she makes the bed and he steals the covers (26)
IndyStar Obvious Bush joked that the queen just "gave me a look that only a mother could give a child" (242)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Gingrich to conservatives: Don’t talk About Iraq, Katrina, Walter Reed, attorneys or Bush. Better tell them to steer clear of "family values" too, Newt, in case you decide to run for president (44)
Guardian.com Stupid Christian complains about increasing number of books on atheism. Too bad there aren't any books that support Christianity. Some sort of Bible or something like that (1050)
ABC News Dumbass Bush looking for War Czar. Evaluation includes applicant's performance of "Nearer, My God, to Thee" (63)
(Hugh Hewitt) Asinine Minneapolis Star Tribune deals with crashing readership by canceling one of its most popular features: Farker James Lileks' column (101)
(Alternet) Interesting Some author carefully examines whether stripping is a feminist act. Meanwhile, countless Farkers carefully examine the small, black-and-white picture of a stripper accompanying the article (79)
Washington Post Obvious The Democrat congress is losing its momentum. All those dometic issues are sitting by the wayside while Bush takes their time-table budget for Iraq to the woodshed. Meet the new boss (88)
Yahoo PSA One quarter of Americans actually think the "troop surge" is working. Bonus: Many of these people vote (544)
MSNBC Interesting North Korea promises to shut down all their nuclear wessels if they get their bank account back (38)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Minority Leader John Boehner wants to approve Plan B for Iraq. Hey, asshat, they've got bigger problems than contraception over there (27)
Newsweek Obvious Wanted for the 2008 races: A new Harry S. Truman (32)
Yahoo Unlikely Keith Olbermann is fair and balanced when it comes to politics (106)
Breitbart Interesting Bush promises to rebuild Greensburg, Kansas. In other news, Greensburg, KS is now totally doomed (51)
News.com.au Asinine Environmentalists' latest pitch: Leave your children a better planet. By not having them. Joseph Heller unavailable for comment (38)
AP Strange Did you ever hear the one about counterfeiters who broke into Abraham Lincoln's tomb to steal his body for a ransom of $5 bills? (55)



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