(Starpulse)(9) For the first time in law enforcement history, police raid an apartment to get items FOR Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan
(Starpulse)(37) Elizabeth Mitchell was filming a movie for Halloween, so she convinced her neighbors to let her 5 year-old son trick-or-treat another night
(Paste Magazine)(85) The Cleveland Show, the painfully unfunny Family Guy spinoff, is hoping some celebrity casting will them. So, they've enlisted...Hall & Oates. Good luck getting that second season pickup
(io9)(52) Roland Emmerich's eight rules for ending the world
(Daily Mail)(27) "'Michael Jackson is furious he's not buried next to Marilyn Monroe', claims medium on live TV seance." The Daily Mail is there
(Daily Mail)(152) In the "Old news is so exciting" file: a new article about pictures of Carrie Fisher and her stunt double sunbathing while wearing the slave bikini during filming of Return of the Jedi in 1983
(Daily Mail)(140) Zooey Deschanel gets dolled up for MTV Europe Awards and performs a burlesque style routine
(Some Kraken)(92) First look at the 'Clash of the Titans' movie posters
(Contact Music)(21) John Mayer, Hugh Jackman are raising money for Mexican orphans by auctioning off meet and greets. So far, Jackman has raised thousands while Mayer has raised hundreds, as it's hard for unemployeed teens to scrape that much money together
(Cinematical)(37) Justin Timberlake to bring the sexy back in Boo Boo while Dan Aykroyd will give us his best Yogi impersonation in upcoming "Yogi Bear" movie
(The Sun)(216) Paul McCartney says what submitter has been saying for years: "The Beatles weren't that good"
(io9)(82) Roland Emmerich says he was inspired to make Independence Day 2 by President Obama. Is there nothing we can't blame him for?
(Slate)(70) The Travel Channel may be sold for $975 million, although it only has about 370,000 viewers in prime time. Why so expensive? Because those 370,000 are an advertiser's wet dream
(NJ.com)(155) If there was any debate as to the funniest show on TV this year, last night ended the speculation: Parks and Recreation has emerged in its second season as the best comedy on the air
(Spiegel)(12) Germans relieved David Hasselhoff will attend Berlin celebration after all: "He cannot shoulder all the blame for the destruction of one country's reputation"
(Gawker)(52) Lindsay Lohan punched her mother in the face when she tried to get the doomed former hottie into rehab
(Paste Magazine)(76) Sam Raimi to re-release "Evil Dead" in theaters: "Nothing punishes an audience like Evil Dead - especially on the big screen. I'm really glad it's back. People are gonna be hurt"
(Contact Music)(23) "Insolent Sex Party Tour 2009" kind of has a ring to it, doesn't it?
(Examiner)(123) It's a little-known fact that Cliff Clavin is considering a run for the US Senate in 2012
(Examiner)(45) Area man "thrilled" to hear that The Onion is coming to Comedy Central, prays for evasive Fark "greenlight" to help spread the word
(Contact Music)(37) Paula Abdul is dating Arsenio Hall. This is a repeat from 1989
(io9)(161) The ten dumbest evil geniuses of all time. List starts off with a crappy chracater that doesn't qualify as the "best" of anything, but it gets better
Thu November 05, 2009:
(Google)(57) WQED studio renamed after Fred Rogers, and to celebrate, they reassembled and opened his neighborhood to the public for the weekend. Won't you be his neighbor?
(io9)(30) Dinocroc vs. Supergator, produced by Roger Corman, starring David Carradine, what the hell else could you possibly need?
(Contact Music)(25) For his last trick, comedy magician Carl Ballantine disappears at 92
(Some Guy)(142) Okay, for the last time, saying that there is "absolutely no truth in the rumour that the last line in Anne Frank's diary reads: 'Today is my birthday. Dad bought me a drum kit'" is tasteless
(Contact Music)(61) Miley Cyrus says she does not want to be idolized by her young fans. However, she said nothing about being stalked by her old fans
(Kansas City)(35) Willie Aames, fresh off two bankruptcies, wants to be your financial planner
(Some Guy)(54) Penny Marshall has brain tumor. Schlemeel, schlemazel, ah sheeesh, that sucks
(CBR)(79) Writer for GHOST RIDER 2 taking the CASINO ROYALE approach: "We're not rebooting, we're just assuming the audience didn't see the prior film." Safe assumption, sir
(I Heart Chaos)(54) Just so that we can never speak of this again, here's your guide to all the dumbass toy and board game movies coming out in the next couple years
(FilmDrunk)(53) Nic Cage is broke because of yachts, private islands, castles, shrunken heads, pet octopi, dinosaur skulls, and cobra venom. Typical
(Wired)(59) This is the day I invented time travel
(Yahoo)(339) Outraged parents group urges network affiliates of a network you've barely heard of until now, not to air an episode of show you never watched, that features its three hot teen stars engaging in a threesome
(Contact Music)(41) Verne Troyer is writing his memoirs, and...wait, he's Amish? What the hell?
(NYPost)(86) You are Michael Lohan. Your drug-addicted daughter has called you, weeping and hysterical, to beg for help with her addiction. Do you: c) release a tape of the phone call to the media?
(Some Guy)(132) Neil Gaiman: "It kind of feels like we're now finishing a vampire wave, because we're at the point where they're everywhere, it's probably time to go back underground for another 20 or 25 years."
Wed November 04, 2009:
(Yahoo)(42) Founder of San Diego Comic-Con, Sheldon Dorf, dies at 76. Rumored to return next summer in issue #77
(Examiner)(101) Newest "Sherlock Holmes" trailer conveys juuuust the right amount of homoeroticism between Holmes and Watson
(Starpulse)(97) Ricki Lake: "I'm kind of a cougar." Rest of the world: "no, no you're not"
(Celebslam)(15) Lindsay Lohan's exes get together to compare war stories, rashes
(Contact Music)(14) Kate Hudson says she's not pregnant, she just gained weight after she stopped smoking. Besides, it's not like A-Rod could ever hit a moving target like that
(TMZ)(240) Carrie Prejean getting nothing in a settlement? Yeah, there's a sex tape because of that
(Examiner)(44) This week, Sesame Street turns 38 years, 39 years, 40 years old. Ah, ah, ah
(People Magazine)(82) According to Rob Pattinson, Kristen Stewart is a unique, special, delicate, perfect fragile flower of a friend who feels his pain and holds him when he cries
(Contact Music)(213) Nicole Kidman had been warned that marrying Tom Cruise would ruin her career; this can be evidenced by viewing The Others, Eyes Wide Shut, Australia, The Interpreter, and anything else she's done since 1990
(The Courier)(41) Pop star gets a presidential welcome in Scotland - is hit in the face with a shoe during his first song
(LA Times)(76) CBS orders more episodes of that Jenna Elfman sitcom you quickly flip past while waiting for better comedies to start
(Some Guy)(75) You know what it takes to host the Oscars? It takes BRASS BALLS to host the...JESUS, he must really hate those cans
(Contact Music)(144) Truth behind Michael Jackson's 1993 molestation charges finally revealed: he was found urinating in public and there were kids around. How's that collective guilt feel, world?
(io9)(93) Columnist dares ask the question: Are zombies America's Godzilla? No, I'd say not; most Godzilla movies were competently written
Tue November 03, 2009:
(Some Cool Employer)(62) 10 of the World's Greatest Jobs - your job isn't one of them. And as a side note, Jaime Rascone has the best job in the world
(Google)(66) Kirstie Alley is set to star in reality series about her efforts to lose weight. Tentative title: The Kobyashi Shamu
(Celebslam)(97) Hugh Grant is the creepy drunk guy hitting on models half his age
(Entertainment Weekly)(286) Twenty shiatty action films that you can't help but love. It starts with Con Air and takes off from there like a hairbird in flight
(Contact Music)(38) Kate Hudson says that she is sick of rumors she's engaged to Alex Rodriguez, as he can't commit to anything in the fall
(People Magazine)(60) Should Kate Winslet win an Oscar for the World's most litigious actress?
(FilmDrunk)(165) Disney's Prince of Persia reimagines ancient Persia as a land of spray-tanned white people with English accents
(Reuters)(77) Departing Doctor Who David Tennant cast as lead in new 'comedic legal drama' on NBC. Pale and opinionated Who fans huddled in basements everywhere shudder at the thought of another "Trial of a Timelord", self-indulgent headline
(London Times)(73) Phase 1: Film epic movie about the life of Muhammed. Phase 3: Prophet?
(Yahoo)(138) Bono from U2 says Rock and Roll is dying off, cites poor sales of last album as 'proof'. Fails to mention U2 hasn't made good album since 1987
(My Fox DC)(50) 60-year old man crowd surfs at Springsteen concert. Oh wait, it's just Bruce
(Yahoo)(56) After DSB goes under, Stephen Colbert picks up primary sponsorship of Olympic U.S. Speed Skating
(3 News New Zealand)(70) In an alternate universe, Metallica's Cliff Burton was replaced by Hulk Hogan. 'I would have quit wrestling in a heartbeat to be a bass player for Metallica'
(The New York Times)(53) Tivo, it turns out ,will not kill advertising on TV...we're just too lazy to fast forward thru adverts it seems
(io9)(125) The Terminator franchise is up for sale, and Joss Whedon wants to buy it, probably so he can ruin it with his crappy writing
(TMZ)(21) Headline you never thought possible: US Army apologizes to Ryan Seacrest
(SlashFilm)(39) "24" to revive another actor presumed dead, because THEY'RE RUNNING OUT OF INTERESTING CHARACTERS (contains spoilers)
(Contact Music)(41) Artie Lange turned down $200,000 to participate in "Celebrity Rehab," claiming it exploits stars. Hey, first you're not really a celebrity and 200 grand buys a lot of smack, dude
(Celebrity Gossip)(81) Jessica Alba dresses up as Dora the Explorer for Halloween, proving two things: A. You don't need to slut it up on Halloween to look good B. Dora looks hot
(Some Guy)(35) Griswold family reunion: Anthony Michael Hall and Chevy Chase to appear together for first time since "Vacation." Nothing to be proud of, Russ
(Starpulse)(37) Andre Agassi is convinced he would have won more tennis matches if he wasn't so worried his wig would fall off on the court
(Celebslam)(108) 800+ pictures of what celebrities dressed up as over the weekend
(USA Today)(130) "Battlestar Galactica"'s Katie Sackhoff opens up about Wheaton: "As a Star Trek fan growing up, I had such a crush on him"
(XKCD)(201) XKCD provides you with a perfect way to keep track of the LOTR trilogy
(Contact Music)(32) Michael Caine "nearly got a hernia" from smoking weed. YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG
(3 News New Zealand)(596) If your hotel room's Gideon Bible is missing parts of Leviticus, you might just be sleeping in Gandalf's bed
Sun November 01, 2009:
(Contact Music)(66) Edward Norton "phenomenal" after finishing the New York City marathon in three hours and 48 minutes. In related news, Brad Pitt finished the marathon in the same amount of time
(BBC)(64) 1,570 Rocky Horror fan to pelvic-thrust their way into world record for largest Time Warp dance. It's astounding
(io9)(96) Expect tears from Dr. Who fans when they say goodbye to David Tennant as the Doctor, finally lose their virginity
(Bitten and Bound)(43) Joe Jackson is the latest member to cash in on the family name, partnering with an international soccer phenom to sell barbeque grills. The whirring sound you hear next will be the King of Pop spinning in his grave
(Contact Music)(42) Elton John diagnosed with a serious case of E. Coli. This is why you don't eat undercooked sausage
(Daily Mail)(73) The only thing scarier-looking than Lady Gaga is Perez Hilton dressed as Lady Gaga. What has been seen cannot be unseen
(Contact Music)(33) David Hasselhoff compares himself to Amy Winehouse. Well, they're both alcoholics, they've both used up their fifteen minutes and yet are still around, they've released terrible albums, and inexplicably have a large fanbase
(UPI)(11) Jonas Brothers confirm they are not breaking up after all, ending the hopes of millions of parents with screaming, obsessed teen daughters
(News.com.au)(33) I'll tell you what I don't want, what I really really don't want, I really really really don't wanna stab my eardrums with a pencil when the Spice Girls reunite for the 2012 London Olympics
(Yahoo)(22) Wes Anderson would like to shoot a movie in space. How he intends to get Bill Murray up there is beyond me
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