(Wall Street Journal)(2) Ben Bernanke: Asians are responsible for the global economic crisis because they save too much, act too responsibly. Fark: Krugman agrees
(Quad City Times)(19) Starting in August, the Ford Taurus will be back on the showroom floor. Starting in September, it will be back in the shop after a massive safety recall
(London Times)(18) For financially-beleagured Los Angeles, Michael Jackson's death couldn't have come at a better time
(Playboy)(63) If there was ever a time to actually read a Playboy article, this is it
(LA Times)(37) Glut of oil could push gas prices below $2 per gallon, so expect to see gas prices soar
(Washington Post)(38) Traditional bars and cafes in France closing left and right, mostly due to citizens' preference for fast-food sandwiches at lunch instead of traditional dishes accompanied by wine, espresso and cognac. Thanks, America
(Forbes)(64) We're going to have a trade war with China. Watch out for Lo Pan shooting rays out of his eyes and that henchman who fires lightning bolts
(Telegraph)(35) World's first no-star hotel, with no windows, no heating, no TV, and where guests share rooms with up to six other people, forced to cut prices due to falling demand. Who could have seen that coming?
(Reuters)(22) Bank closures are normally announced on Friday. So far this year, no more than five banks have been closed on any day. This Thursday, seven banks were closed
Thu July 02, 2009:
(The Consumerist)(94) "Top 10 Ironic Ads From History", including such classics as Bayer Heroin and Dutch Boy lead paint
(Washington Post)(159) Congress passes law limiting credit card interest rate hikes. So, not being as stupid as Congress thinks they are, credit card companies increase rates months before the law kicks in. Thanks, Congress
(National Post)(51) Increasingly desperate Ford now offering people $100 just to test drive one of its crapmobiles
(Some Guy)(59) The evil Rupert Murdoch claims he's not interested in buying The New York Times, but we know better than than, don't we?
(Yahoo)(30) The guy at the SEC who was in charge of regulating Madoff was married to Madoff's niece
(Yahoo)(24) Biggest corporate blunders so far this year, until AIG starts that land war in Asia they've been talking about
(NME)(11) Budweiser's newest ad campaign features a cover of the Beatles' "All Together Now" courtesy of The Hours. That's one heck of a target demographic right there
(ClusterStock)(123) 467,000, 9.5, and 700,000. That's the number of jobs lost last month, the new unemployment rate, and the average bonus a Goldman Sachs employee can look forward to for 2009
(Wall Street Journal)(29) Wal-Mart endorsed universal health care to get the unions off its back and further crush competitors
(Washington Examiner)(221) Those taxpayer dollars loaned to banks by TARP are actually making a profit. Which Barney Frank wants to spend like he's antiquing in Provincetown
(USA Today)(86) Obama expands assistance to poor decision makers
(NYPost)(30) Old and busted: Manhattan real estate is recession proof. New hotness: Manhattan real estate down 25% from last year's prices
(The New York Times)(37) Rolling Stone's Matt Taibbi scoops NY Times on how Goldman Sachs "took over Washington by engineering every major market manipulation since the Great Depression"
Wed July 01, 2009:
(Yahoo)(12) It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the Chapter 11 Bankruptcy filing
(Slashdot)(103) Windows XP doesn't want to go on the cart, thinks it'll go for a walk
(Business Insider)(116) CNBC host complains "anonymous bloggers" have been mocking him and his show, saying he looks like Beaker from the Muppets. Ends up in a train wreck of a rant that... MEEP, MEEP, MEEP, MEEP, MEEP
(Some Guy)(21) GM reports a 38% increase in auto sales in the first half of this year for a total of 814,442. Fark: In China
(Yahoo)(43) Another day, another $6.1 billion dumped into Freddie Mac
(Gawker)(164) "Let's screw up the entire Internet to save newspapers"
(MSNBC)(10) GM announces its quarterly profit doubles? Oh, not *that* GM
(The Local (Germany))(13) Gresham's Law: bad money drives good money out of the market. In this case, all the way out of the country
(CNN)(55) Bernie Madoff victim who apparently still doesn't understand how a ponzi scheme works is mad at the SIPC for not insuring and "ignoring all the interest earned in my IRA account over the last 16 years."
(Yahoo)(100) Citigroup raises rates on 13 - 15 million credit cards after realizing the middle class has not been entirely ground out of existence
(STLToday)(19) MillerCoors hires new Vice President who used to market water for Pepsi. How is this role different?
(Bloomberg)(66) The British pound is farked. Like, proper farked
Tue June 30, 2009:
(Bloomberg)(19) Outgoing AIG CEO Edward Liddy says his company has an "excellent chance" of repaying the government, adding, "... and monkeys might fly out of my butt."
(Yahoo)(79) Oil analysts who predicted $200 oil last year, $25 oil then $100 oil this year now predict $55 per barrel oil. Seriously, people get paid for this?
(Bloomberg)(62) If you are one of the 52,000 wealthy Americans with a secret account at UBS, the taxman cometh
(Marketwatch)(16) The North American Municipal Bond Loan Association (NAMBLA) declares their undying love for California's debt
(Think Progress)(131) Europe is experience deflation, with the Euro having a negative rate of inflation for the first time ever
(Reuters)(108) 4.5% of Americans say jobs are plentiful. In other news, 4.5% of Americans think sky is red, water is dry
(Fox News)(41) GM: we'd like to split into two companies, one "new" GM and the other the "old" GM. Bondholders, retirees, and shareholders: go eat a big bowl of dicks
(Houston Chronicle)(30) Michael Jackson tragedy can serve as financial warning for every plastic surgery addicted, child bothering, pop star. So, Gary Glitter pay attention, everyone else, go about your business
(Washington Post)(531) Those billions in taxpayer dollars the government "invested" in GM? We're as likely to get it back as a Chevy Cobalt is to make it to 100,000 miles
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)(44) Unemployed newspaper reporters increasingly turning to crack, shoplifting meat and sleeping in ATMs, just like every other liberal arts graduate in the universe
(AP)(17) Deere & Co. avoids unnecessary cull after 800 volunteer to leave on their own
(Bloomberg)(9) Michael Jackson now being used as an economic indicator. Frozen Jesus juice futures soar on the news
(Bloomberg)(43) Sears ups the stakes with their "if you lose your job" buyer protection program. Will forgive debt, let you keep the appliance
(CNN)(36) Looks like James Bond will save the planet from evil global warming in his next flick
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)(7) 3M put some Post-It™ notes on the wall, threw some Scotch Tape™ balls at them, came up with Europe and Asia for the Cover-Up Tape™
Mon June 29, 2009:
(CBC)(128) Tim Hortons to become a Canadian company. Because apparently it's not
(Naijafeed)(27) Oil company Shell suspend operations in Nigeria due to Militants blowing up stuff
(Wall Street Journal)(104) Hinting that perhaps this recession is worse than previously thought, Wall Street Journal tastes and ranks cheap jug wines to help its readers choose wisely
(Yahoo)(8) Oil jumps above $70 on news that the Mets gave Rivera his only RBI by walking him with the bases loaded
(Talking Points Memo)(185) 94% of the health care market in the US is monopolized -- uh, that is: "highly concentrated"
(Newsweek)(67) Chinese don't want to buy any more debt with a "Made in U.S." label on it. Despite the fact it contains less lead than Chinese-made debt
(Some Math Guy)(103) So simple a 15-year old Oxford mathematics PhD candidate could do it. "It" being simply explaining how Lehman Brothers died
Sun June 28, 2009:
(The Tennessean)(36) Everyday is happy hour for the Jack Daniels master distiller, he just doesn't swallow
(Concord Monitor)(72) Town tells store to buy 'pay-as-you-throw' trash bags, devote inventory, floor space to them, send all money to out of state company with no profit for store. Store says, "Fark you."
(LA Times)(62) Time Warner is thrilled that TMZ is starting to draw a lot of attention, thanks to their Michael Jackson scoops. Less thrilled by the fact that they're drawing attention to what a bunch of unscrupulous dirtbags they are
(Some Associate)(28) Amazon also pulling the plug on Hawaii Associates for "unconstitutional tax collection scheme." Come a day there won't be room for naughty men like us to slip about at all
(Guardian)(14) Newspaper takes long, hard, throbbing look at how the recession is hitting Nevada's brothels
(Slate)(64) Problem: non-union plant manufactures cars faster and more efficiently than the union ones. Solution: close the plant
Sat June 27, 2009:
(Orlando Sentinel)(21) "What will signal consumers are back? Look for facials and massages"
(Bloomberg)(19) Porsche is Farfromgrüven after discovering that Volkswagen holds the trump card
(Pringles)(271) The best banner ad in the history of the Internet
(Bloomberg)(21) Subby counts one, two, three, four, FIVE failed banks, ah ah ah (bringing this year's total to 45)
(Washington Post)(43) Bernie Madoff forfeits "assets" worth $170 billion that never actually existed. In related news, subby forfeits his control of Mars and Uranus to settle debts with creditors
(The Consumerist)(27) "My life mission is to share my love of bacon and that is the point of the club: To give bacon love."
(Bloomberg)(19) GE plans to open a state of the art research center to study unemployment, depression and failure in Detroit
Fri June 26, 2009:
(FDIC)(33) The FDIC just announced the end of 43 more banks for May, making 212 for the year, which doesn't include the 40 "failed banks" or similar Cease & Desist orders from the OTS or OCC
(Yahoo)(9) Female brokers sue Bank of America because they apparently received less grossly exorbitant needless bonuses than their exorbantly paid male counterparts. Golden penis
(Seattle Times)(50) BMW claims factors that put Mini at bottom of quality rating aren't problems, they're features: "Mini has some idiosyncrasies that we engineer into our cars"
(Dealbreaker)(51) One of the richest men in the world also looks like an 80s porn star, and has a new photo shoot that recalibrates the unintentional comedy scale
(Some Guy)(27) Red Roof Inns taking the "red" part too seriously, defaulting on $361 million in loans. Sucky economy driving cheaters and swinger's parties to Motel Six, which is about to declare a profit
(Gawker)(39) Google's thirst for power will not be satisfied until it devours San Francisco
(Some Guy)(64) Rite Aid to close 117 stores in wake of $98.4 net quarterly loss. CVS and Walgreen's perched nearby waiting to pick at the bones
(AP)(16) Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke: "I did not have threatening relations with that man, Ken Lewis"
(BBC)(31) At a time when Bear Sterns is giving record bonuses for failure, British Air employees volunteer to work without pay in order to save the company, even the CEO
(Bloomberg)(52) Warren Buffett criticizes Steve Jobs for concealing his serious illness from investors and for raising song prices on Buffett's favorite death metal bands to $1.29
(Yahoo)(135) Citigroup to raise salaries by up to 50% in an attempt to dodge legislation imposing caps on bonuses. EVERYBODY PUNDIT
(Reuters)(10) Weiner inserted as CEO of Linked-in. Frankly, that site is a sausage party anyway
Wed June 24, 2009:
(BBC)(8) Ryanair to offer gambling, flying on Ryanair
(London Times)(29) Silvio Berlusconi's TV stations fail to cover Silvio Berlusconi's sex romps with young women for some damn reason or other
(Some Guy)(38) R.I. newspaper to charge customers twice as much to view their website than paper subscriptions. That ought to sustain them until this silly Internet thing blows over
(CNN)(25) New home sales fall unexpectedly according to people who just got to 2009 by way of a DeLorean
(Some Grumpy Old Man)(68) Gang of geriatric Germans lays Zimmer frame smackdown and torture session on financial adviser over $4m of missing "black money"
(Canada.com)(27) Canada ends up dead last in world sawmill rankings, losing $27 a cubic metre in 2008. Wood you believe they rank sawmills?
(Politico)(96) Completely having forgotten that they were solely responsible for the demise of such things as the American auto industry, union leaders see what further damage they can cause on Capitol Hill by handing out "Made in China" hardhats
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