Bring me the head of Simon Cowell. American Idol butchers The Clash for a Ford commercial	(32)
		Hottest music ticket this summer will be for a 73-year-old guy in a black suit who hasn't toured in 15 years and who's got a voice like a coffee can full of gravel and smoke	(40)
(Some Guy)		Ringo was such a bad drummer, the Beatles are suing to stop the release of tracks when he first joined the band	(96)
		Dolly Parton releases new album on her own label, which surprisingly isn't named Twin Peaks Records	(6)
		Mambo pioneer Israel "Cachao" Lopez passes away at age 89. Here he is with Cuban pianist Osmany Paredes in Mexico City back 1998 with total mambo awesomeness	(4)
		I don't know, but I've been told... this is a quite interesting version of "Black Dog" by Robert Plant and Alison Krauss	(39)
		Erase the sight of Lou Reed in a chicken suit from your memory with the help of the Velvet Underground's Venus In Furs	(16)
(NME)		Fall Out Boy bassist Wentz reveals he attempted suicide a couple years ago. You would too if you had to listen to Stump try to sing	(41)
		Spongebob Squarepants does AC/DC	(14)
		Chaka Khan; Chaka Khan turns 55; 55. "Tell Me Something Good" (1974) (w/bonus Bob Hope intro)	(11)
		Happy 59th birthday to Ric Ocasek, that dangerous type	(10)

		Lou Reed in a chicken suit and the most depressing burlesque act ever	(15)
(RunawayBox)		Finally, an honest R&B song	(16)
(Some Sour Times)		It only took eleven years... Portishead's "Third" drops on April 28th	(17)
		Time to enjoy The Yardbirds doing "I'm A Man." It's singer Keith Relf's birthday, if you really needed an excuse	(13)
		It's more than a feeling that this will kick ass: a six-song Boston song pack for "Rock Band" comes out this Tuesday	(50)
		After disappearing from the American music scene for 11 years, Robyn is making a comeback. You're on notice... if you still remember who she is	(27)

		Paul Stanley thinks it's time to Kiss his rockin' days goodbye	(44)
		Elvis Costello's next solo studio album to be released only on vinyl	(51)
		ZZ Top gets busy on first album since 2003. The question is how, how, how, how?	(21)
		"I'm happy to endorse a shoe that my feet have known so intimately throughout my rock'n'roll exploits"	(29)
		In her ongoing quest to stay relevant, Madonna will release her new album to phone users before it hits store shelves	(8)

		Fall Out Boy frontman Pete Wentz admits he feels pretty when he's wearing Jessica Simpson's high heels. "I dance around my house in them all the time."	(43)
		Songwriter: Rihanna is "the new Britney Spears." So, she's going to marry and divorce a lazy backup dancer, go batshiat insane, humiliate herself on live TV, spawn a few mutants, and find solace in the orange embrace of Cheetos?	(34)
		Lefty Frizzell singing "She's Gone Gone Gone" back in the olden days from a studio that looks like a barn or something	(29)
		14 Overblown charity songs. Musicians For Free-Range Chickens suspiciously absent	(39)
(Some Crying Rocker)		Well, if Queen can release a new album, Boston can go on tour with Stryper's frontman right?? Argh	(35)
(The Age)		Queen's new album, with Paul Rodgers on vocals, to be released September 1	(62)

		The Van Halen tour that was canceled and then back on again and canceled and back on again and canceled and back on again and canceled is back on again. Get your tickets now before they change their minds	(8)
		Lars Ulrich wants to release new Metallica album soon, as he would rather fark it up now than fark it up later	(46)
		Court documents reveal Heather Mills' claims to have helped McCartney write songs, songs like "Band on the Hop," "Live and Leg Die"	(52)
(Harp Magazine)		Dave Grohl's running for president: "I have had my share of acid and mushrooms and I have smoked fields of marijuana"	(66)
(Monsters and Critics)		"Guitar Hero: Beatles" is a possibility. No word on if it will turn into "Guitar Hero: Clapton" for the hard songs	(156)
		Van Halen's on-again, off-again tour is on again	(14)
		"Edgy pop star" A.J. McLean from the Backstreet Boys goes solo, because he wants it that way	(16)
		Old and busted: Twisted Sister's heavy metal anthem "I Wanna Rock." The new hotness: Twisted Sister guitarist Jay Jay French's political re-recording of that song: "I Want Barack"	(44)
		Coolest self-taught nerdy guy playing keyboard electric guitar you'll see all day	(59)
		Because there still isn't a law to prevent Chris Martin from naming things, new Coldplay album to be titled "Viva La Vida"	(26)

		Sees your R/C B-29 and your R/C B-52, and raises with BR549	(39)
		Duff from Velvet Revolver says they'll open for Zeppelin tour. Which is news to the guy from The Cult, who had said they would. Which is news to Zeppelin, who still have no plans to tour	(15)
		Maybe it is lupus? Amy Winehouse looks like she's decaying. And nobody is surprised	(148)
		First he'll sadden Manhattan, then he'll depress Berlin. Leonard Cohen's back on tour	(33)
		Mariah Carey knows she's a ditzy moron	(32)
		Bryan Adams lists the songs that make him feel like he was back in the Summer of '69. You know, when he got his first real six-string and started to suck	(22)

(Us Magazine)		Breaking news from Us Magazine: Michael Stipe is gay	(63)
		You bought their CDs, you went to their concerts, and you named a price for their latest album, but can you produce a music video for Radiohead?	(27)
		Year zero for this fragile pretty hate machine with teeth: Trent Reznor now accumulating $2 mil from internet sales, driving a long nail in the industry	(47)
(Cincinnati Enquirer)		Drunk southern chicks and frat boys line up as Jimmy Buffett concert sells out in just 10 minutes	(19)
(Some \m/ Gal)		Metallica to do signing on April 19 as part of "Record Store Day" celebration. In other news, April 19 is "Record Store Day"	(31)
		And lo the third seal was broken, as Rachael Ray combines forces with a pretentious indie rock festival	(29)
		Old and busted: RIAA suing consumers for copyright royalties, New hotness: Recording artists suing the RIAA for copyright royalties	(17)
		Kelly Clarkson fears she'll be the next celebrity to expose herself because she wears no underwear	(157)
		Folk-rocker John Sebastian turns 64. Here he is in 1965 with the Lovin' Spoonful, having time-travelled and stolen Weezer's clothes. "Do You Believe in Magic"	(18)
		Bohemian Rhapsody, done entirely in Mario Paint	(27)
		Robbie Williams on constructing an observatory in the Arizona desert: "I'm stopping being a pop star and becoming a full-time ufologist." Then it gets weird	(19)
		My Morning Jacket debuts new songs in Texas. With video awesomeness	(27)