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Fri July 25, 2014
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Fark)
 
 
 
Clear your desks, still your mind, finish the bottle and hide from the boss: it's time for the Fark Quiz. Fortified with vitamins, minerals, and enough booze to kill a Canadian unicorn
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(13)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Prosecutors say Brooklyn woman decapitated her neighbor and then scattered her dismembered body parts all over Long Island because the victim was late paying the rent. And you thought YOUR landlord was a dick
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
You think you've got problems? Imagine living in Georgetown in an $8 million mansion that doesn't have a garage to hold your four cars, and there's not enough street parking, AND you even have to sometimes *shovel* in the winter
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(Fortune)
 
Plug
 
Apple's Steve Jobs and Samsung's Lee Kun Hee portrayed as criminals (Featured Partner)
 
 
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
It takes a lot to top the weird behavior of NYC subway riders. But plucking and eating a live bird definitely puts you in contention
source: torontosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Alabama man sues hospital for mistakenly amputating his penis. No word on whether he will be changing his name to "Hedwig"
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Things I learned from this article 1) Valdimir Putin has a 29-year old daughter who is mildly hot. 2) she lives in the Netherlands 3) She's lying low right now because people named Putin ain't real popular there just right now
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(143)
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Eva Peron's limo for sale. Lots of power, stylish exterior, may unexpectedly stop running
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(NBC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
I'll have the large fries, a McDouble and a side of cocaine
source: nbcphiladelphia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(Fark)
 
Plug
 
Infinite monkeys: Shakespeare. Ten monkeys and a couple hours: TFD
 
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
If your wife is a "messy" housekeeper, you should a) volunteer to help share cleaning tasks, b) hire a maid to help clean the house, or c) stab her 84 times and put a pig mask on her face
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(San Francisco Examiner)
 
 
 
Former SFSU accounting professor invites current and former students over to his house for a party; fails to account for blinking red light from camera hidden in a tissue box in bathroom
source: sfexaminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
News: Russian newspaper prints front-page apology to MH17 victims. Not news: Russian newspaper that has seen four of its journalists murdered since 2001
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(Rocketnews 24)
 
 
 
Japanese newscaster, who previously admitted to not knowing what PowerPoint was, suggests that residents facing power outages during heatwave use electric fans to stay cool. This guy is like the anti-Romero or something
source: en.rocketnews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Religion of Pieces
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(78)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Police are beginning to start the early processes of maybe kind of opening a process in which they possibly consider the notion that there might be a slight chance, maybe, that prosecuting teenagers for sexting is a waste of resources
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Upskirt photos. New hotness: Upskirt panty removal
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(Wells Journal (UK))
 
 
 
Coach driver tries to hold city tourism hostage over £7.80. It's like Speed, but without the driving
source: wellsjournal.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(10)
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
"Sunni militias pinched by Jihadis" Sounds like somebody's butthurt
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
It turns out the ancient world was terrorized by tyrannosaur gangs straight out of Chompton
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
There is a lizard sex satellite floating in space, and Russia no longer has it under control
source: m.washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
NASA would like humanity to know that on July 23rd, 2012 a massive solar flare nearly destroyed Earth's entire electrical infrastructure, which would have plunged the world into total chaos. Have a nice day
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(152)
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
One for the "Holy Farking hell" file: "They were going into places like the anal area, the vaginal area, the pubic area of the males," Doris Kennard said. "That's where they would get in"
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(89)
 
(AsiaOne)
 
 
 
You know you're hardcore when you use a blowpipe to sedate cows so you can stuff them in the back seat of your car
source: news.asiaone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Hello police? We found a witch. May we burn her?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Two men. Both illegally carrying guns. Both shoot another human being. Now what?
source: news.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(287)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this volcanic formation
source: naukaifakty.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Not news: Man gets pulled over. News: And calls 911 to report a fake murder happening nearby to try and get out of getting a citation. Fark: Which upgrades a $209 speeding fine to a third-degree felony charge
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
River in China mysteriously turns blood-red overnight
source: sploid.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
There is a new group calling themselves "Macktivists," which is composed of men who pretend to be feminists so they can hit on feminists in online chatrooms, forums, and Salon.com articles
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(327)
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Seattleite attempts to understand himself better by analyzing The Onion headlines about Seattle
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(10)
 
(ABC2News Baltimore)
 
 
 
Pro-Tip: Don't taunt police on their Facebook page if you have an open warrant out for your arrest
source: abc2news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(15)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Come for the awesome collapse of an arched iceberg into the sea. Stay for the resulting wall of water heading toward the small boat that was close to said iceberg
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(90)
 
(Regina Leader-Post)
 
 
 
Owner of youth shelter defends her decision to require parents to pay if they wanted their children back
source: leaderpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
"My son has been suspended five times. He's 3 years old." Sounds like you really hit that parenting thing out the park
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(198)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Repo man towing your 'prized' Cadillac Escalade? That's a tire iron to the windows, a mess in the driveway and one sore bite mark
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(76)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Amazing Pizza Hut meals from around the world people from New York and Chicago could only wish to eat
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Zebra: the other black-and-white meat
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 


Thu July 24, 2014
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Flying car strikes house in Hop Pole, England. Ginger kid and boy with odd scar on forehead sought for questioning
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(Riverfront Times)
 
 
 
Gary Busey's nephew is running an outdoor strip club at the Gathering of the Juggalos. Yep, you read that right
source: blogs.riverfronttimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(102)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Police confused after porcelain dolls are being left on the doorsteps of girls they hold an eerie resemblance to
source: gma.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(113)
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
Think fraternity hazings are bad? Well, they've got nothing on The Ohio State marching band. Just ask band members Squirt, Jizzy, and Tiggles (link may be not safe for work)
source: deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(111)
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Everything's bigger in TEXAS. Especially the huge swarm of Africanized bees that swarmed and stung you over 1,000 times
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Photoshop this hop, skip and a jump
source: pbs.twimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
Man earns 400 million American Express Reward Points when he purchases a rare Ming Dynasty cup valued at $32 million
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
If you thought BuzzFeed was stupid that could be partly because they've been stealing from Yahoo Answers
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Tylenol won't help your lower back pain, but at least it causes deadly liver damage
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(108)
 
(Click On Detroit)
 
 
 
Storing men in manholes sounds reasonable at first
source: clickondetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Boy with cancer only asked for birthday cards for his birthday. Win: Receives more than 30,000 of them
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Merging late is better than merging as soon as it is safe. But we still hate you for it
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(174)
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Good news, fatties: There's a newly discovered virus that you can blame your obesity and diabetes on. And it's even got "ass" in its name
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(116)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
25 dogs who LOVE Peanut Butter with SFW.jif pics
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(CosmosUp)
 
 
 
Archaeologists discover ancient astronomy lab in northern Peru
source: cosmosup.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(Sun News Network)
 
 
 
F*ck it, I'm burying myself underground
source: sunnewsnetwork.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(Fox Sports)
 
 
 
Don't you hate it when an 88 year-old woman photobombs your selfie?
source: foxsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(Sun News Network)
 
 
 
Motorcade blocks woman in labour from reaching hospital. Thanks, Obamacare
source: sunnewsnetwork.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Animal control officials find a stray pitbull on the streets caring for a sick chihuahua, and are looking for a forever home for the two of them together-and an agent to sell the film rights of their story to Pixar (Updated link)
source: shine.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Is Michelle Obama using the National Science Foundation to deploy robots into Americans' homes to monitor the federal government's dietary and exercise mandates?
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(120)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Meanwhile, Russia has started firing artillery into Ukraine
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(216)
 
(Some Food Nut)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: Crockpots revisited - What new recipes or tweaks have you tried out to make a good family meal without a lot of fuss? Are your classics too good to change? Make sure to share the wealth to the right
source: ivillage.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(178)
 
(The Republic)
 
 
 
If you are a parent, don't beat up your kid when he does not do his chores. He may call the police on you
source: therepublic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(125)
 
(KTVB Boise)
 
 
 
Dude, just take a drop
source: ktvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(Tumblr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lone gunman
source: 38.media.tumblr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
July is rapidly coming to a close and you need an excuse to celebrate the summer. So grab some salt and limes and celebrate National Tequila Day today
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(The Daily Meal)
 
 
 
Seriously North Korea, that's what you think a hamburger looks like?
source: thedailymeal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(179)
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Please note: there are several useful things one can say when running into a convenience store while billowing smoke and flames, but "I'm on fire" is really just stating the obvious
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Hey Brits, your invasion of giant deadly Asian hornets is sooooo yesterday, today it's the invasion of the Asian SUPER ANTS (some not safe for work content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(Inforum)
 
 
 
Oh d-dear, oh d-d-d-dear dear
source: inforum.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
The next big thing to come out of Bikini Bottom? Seaweed beer
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(KATU)
 
 
 
If you thought the WBC had a lock on "Most Annoying Christian Group of the Year," hold on... Portland has a late entry
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(153)
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Looks like the tree-huggers win this round
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
There once was a bomb from Nantucket
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
TSA is prepared to stop zombies from flying
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
Cops seek answers in professor's slaying. Promptly distribute blue books to neighbors and potential witnesses
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
When you post a network news report on You Tube, the network will drop a takedown notice to have it removed immediately, but if the network uses one of YOUR videos without permission (or even giving you credit)? Well that's just fine and dandy
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(NBC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
80yo homeowner shoots fleeing intruder-assailant, and then finishes her off. "She says, 'Don't shoot me, I'm pregnant I'm going to have a baby' And I shot her anyway"
source: nbcphiladelphia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(927)
 
(Gainesville Sun)
 
 
 
If you run over yourself with your own truck during a road rage incident, you might be from Florida
source: gainesville.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Student taking pictures for class project gets her face all over angry mom's shoes
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Even Ukraine's Prime Minister thinks they're farked
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(WCNC Charlotte)
 
 
 
Man consumes 12 "tallboy" Buds, crashes his car, asks witnesses if they thought he was driving under the influence, then responds to officer asking him if he is okay with, "I'm drunk." Breathalyzer gets contact buzz
source: wcnc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
City of Boston rams through legislation ewe wouldn't believe, and gives kids a summer job eating poison ivy
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Ukranian MH17 looters go all Nigerian scammer on crash victims' credit cards
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(110)
 
(7 Deadly)
 
 
 
Twinkies find a new way to be relevant: just add weed
source: 7deadlymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Note to self: Never order a Flaming Lamborghini at the bar
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Woman in sleepy, 60s-era planned community of Reston, VA learns that "supporting an al-Shabaab terror cell" is most *definitely* a violation of HOA covenants
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Best. Jail. In. The. World
source: thelocal.it   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(17)
 
(When On Earth)
 
 
 
When the government orders you to tear down a giant driftwood tower you built in the woods, you should react like any sane person and declare the land a micronation
source: whenonearth.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(AsiaOne)
 
 
 
Think the dating scene is hard now? Just wait until you're forced to smell bags of used t-shirts at the bars to find someone you might be compatible with
source: news.asiaone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(17)
 
(The New Republic)
 
 
 
"You Dutch? You want to know what happened to the plane? I tell you. It fell out of the sky. Just like that shiat happens"
source: newrepublic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Sun-Sentinel's Question of the Day: Should being fat automatically be a get out of jail free card?
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Naked college guys robble robble a restaurant
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(17)
 
(Newcastle Evening Chronicle)
 
 
 
One-eyed man claims optician discriminated against him because he refused to give him an eye test at half price
source: chroniclelive.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(SILive)
 
 
 
Problem: Need $150 million for your project because US investors see it as a giant failure in the making. Solution: Allow rich Chinese to buy-in through federal program in exchange for green cards
source: silive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
If you and your buddy are going to commit a home invasion at a rooming house with two pipes taped together to look like a shotgun, be prepared for the guy sleeping there to recognize your stupidity and fight to defend the $13 he's carrying
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(15)
 
(Evening Express)
 
 
 
Aberdeen doctors find sex toy in woman ... that had been there for 10 YEARS
source: eveningexpress.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(Zanesville Times Recorder)
 
 
 
City still working to confiscate man's therapy ducks
source: zanesvilletimesrecorder.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
If you're an artist, it's one thing if you manipulate bees to build trippy-looking beehives inside plexiglass. But do you really need to bring a handful of bees to your face so you can purposely be stung during a performance?
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(16)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
"How many Daily News reporters does it take to not fact check a story?"
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
In prison you learn real-life street smarts like how to shank a man, ways to make your own moonshine, and the art of couponing
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(Baristanet)
 
 
 
News: Dog shot in encounter with cop. Fark: Cop shot in encounter with dog
source: baristanet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(Marina City Online)
 
 
 
Condo association sued for million bucks for being, well, assholes
source: marinacityonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
The Methodist church may split in the middle because of homosexuality
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(173)
 
(WFSB Connecticut)
 
 
 
Old and Busted: Leaving babies in the car. New Hotness: Leaving your mom locked in the car
source: wfsb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Sarah Palin finally gets her name at the top of the ticket
source: politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(274)
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Don't you just hate it when you're so drunk you confuse the cabin door on your flight with the restroom?
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(Free Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this bright idea
source: freeimages.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(The Intercept)
 
 
 
Snowden Ukraine ebay manpad H5N1 wild tunnels lead lined shipping containers NSA TOR Taliban fissile airport onion network Flight 800 AK-47 BIEBER yellow cake silk road
source: firstlook.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(136)
 
(CrushPlate)
 
 
 
There once was a man from Limerick/ Who stepped out back with an exposed dick/ He looked at two girls in a pool/ Which they thought was not cool/ And now a new lawyer he must pick
source: crushplate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(76)
 
(BBC)
 
NewsFlash
 
F*ck it, I'm never leaving my apartment
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(253)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
FAA gives Air Israel green light to clear runway
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(141)
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
If you're going to rob a bank, don't wear a shirt with your first name on it
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(CBS Miami)
 
 
 
Man returns home from a two-day vacation to find a family living there because they fell for a real-estate scam
source: miami.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(205)
 
(KKTV Colorado Springs)
 
 
 
Southwest Airlines: Complain about our service on social media? Kiss your reserved seat good-bye until you delete the complaint
source: kktv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(145)
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 481: "The Path Less Taken 2". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(99)
 

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