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Mon January 23, 2017
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
What scientists discovered underneath this Mexican pyramid. Spoiler: ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(From the Grapevine)
 
 
 
If you really want to make someone happy today you can pay it forward, give someone an alarm clock, or start a flash mob at a hospital
source: fromthegrapevine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Star Wars)
 
 
 
Title of Star Wars Episode VIII revealed. But which is it, the master, or the apprentice?
source: starwars.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
It's an elephant fighting a tortoise. And who wins might just suprise yo ... nope, no surprises there
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Apparently according to science, you're probably showering far, far too much and need to have more pong
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talk Radio (UK))
 
 
 
And the moral of the story is: never believe a fortune teller, especially when they tell you to become a prostitute
source: talkradio.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
It has been zero days since the last kangaroo attack. It is always zero days since the last kangaroo attack
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Alaska Dispatch News)
 
 
 
Lawmaker bills Alaska $20,000 to ship a washer and a dryer, a piano, four air compressors, building supplies, enlarger parts, a band saw, a basketball backboard, lawn chairs, four weight benches, three fans and three vacuums to his rural home
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Muff Diving Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this low muff
source: wardrobelooks.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Cops shoot dead homeowner while investigating a break-in, presumably to make sure the corpse didn't come back as a zombie
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talk Radio (UK))
 
 
 
Apparently the people of Australia killed off a load of ancient prehistoric species, such as lions and giant kangaroos. Must have been some barbeque
source: talkradio.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Maybe it's time to quit smoking when the billboards start coughing at you
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
The Women's March was very successful. So, now what?
source: mobile.nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Las Vegas Review Journal)
 
 
 
Shoot and kill your coworker during a robbery? Thats fine, since the place was being robbed we will just pin the murder charge on the robber
source: reviewjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
And CNN's balls grew three sizes that day
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
For two and a half hours, United stopped breaking guitars
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
New bill in Nebraska would let teachers use physical force on "violent, unruly" students
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Radio Insight)
 
 
 
New Radio Station "El Booty" launches, calling themselves "The Official Station For Latina Strippers Of Tampa Bay"
source: radioinsight.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sun January 22, 2017
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Yakkity-Sax kept running through my head while watching the clean up
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Someone finally launched the perfect Kickstarter for Caturday fans. Do want
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
After 22 years, Gambia's dictator loses election. What to do? Simple ... just empty the state coffers and ship out all luxury vehicles by plane before leaving the country
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Drunkest skiier in the world found in French Alps, because when you're really wasted, strapping boards to your feet is a good idea
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
I've never watched the Harry Potter movies. Are they worth it? I'm 52 y/o and have a lot of free time this week and am not able to go out and actually do much. Yes/no?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Sniper kills three ISIS members with one bullet that ricocheted. Yosemite Sam unavailable for comment
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
As if Iraqi Kurds don't have enough problems, now they have hipsters to deal with
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Austin News KXAN)
 
 
 
Armed bystanders get 1 person killed, 5 others shot during robbery
source: kxan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
What will improve my already delicious hoagies? How about deep-frying the whole thing and calling it a Zoagie?
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Kentucky Amish file suit against the state over horse diaper law
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Tricks to make a bad wine better. Bonus: Article does not use the phrase "life hack"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this abandoned bridge...or BEST DIVING BOARD EVER
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Big Story)
 
 
 
DISASTER STRIKES: Sierra Nevada Brewing Company announces massive beer recall
source: bigstory.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WALB Albany)
 
 
 
If you work the night shift you should let your family know you're coming home early
source: walb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Siberian Times)
 
 
 
12 Monkeys plot crossing over our time stream. Apocalypse
source: siberiantimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Sex doll takes break from hectic schedule to scare off burglars
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop these colorful train passengers
source: media4.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
After mosque is destroyed by arsonist, neighboring LDS church invites them to use their church. "It's just neighbors helping neighbors. Jesus said, 'Love your neighbor.' They're right next door. How can it be more obvious than that?"
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(105.9 The Brew)
 
 
 
Al Gore's carbon footprint is shaped like a butt
source: 1059thebrew.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Weather Underground)
 
 
 
Emergency declared after tornado kills 4 in Hattiesburg, Mississippi; Storms leave damage in Alabama, Georgia. Area child asks; "Is God mad at us?"
source: wunderground.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(107.7 WGNA)
 
 
 
It's not just the Trump hats that aren't made in America, Trumps only recognizable musician played "Made in America" on a Japanese made guitar
source: wgna.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KJRH Tulsa)
 
 
 
Just your average day in Oklahoma where the crazy lady strips down naked and holds the door-to-door saleslady hostage
source: kjrh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Most of the 230 rioters arrested in Washington D.C. following Donald Trump's inauguration will be charged with felony rioting, which carries a punishment of up to 10 years in jail and $25k fine
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NOAA)
 
 
 
NOAA's Storm Prediction Center issues a rare "High Risk" area for the SE United States with "Significant tornado outbreak expected today across north Florida and south Georgia." Stay safe today, farkers
source: spc.noaa.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jewish Daily Forward)
 
 
 
Ann Coulter says women's marchers are like Nazis, which is a remarkable display of projection for a being that can't see itself in a mirror
source: forward.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
After having many of their courses called bullshiat, the University of Washington makes it official
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Your pet rat is trying to kill you
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
The RCMP bust a major British Columbia grow-op, decide to hot box the entire region
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Here is a comprehensive list of how Trump has offended Asia. Yes . . . all of Asia
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Potermelon
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Trump survives first assassination attempt as United Kingdom tries to nuke Mar-a-Lago
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Baltimore)
 
 
 
Baltimore school dental program pulls three teeth from 9-year-old without parental consent. School farkup-response officer declines comment citing "hey, wouldja look at the time" regulations
source: baltimore.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Remember Charlie, the inaugural parade announcer who got dumped? Guess where he spent his day
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Futurism)
 
 
 
Pharma bro jacks up a pill 5,000%? Pfft, amateur. Let's raise the price on our pill for infant epilepsy by 85,000%
source: futurism.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Guy starts a Change.org petition saying Cracker Barrel's name is racist and should be changed to "Caucasian Barrel," thinking no one could possibly take it seriously. If you can guess what happened next, your Fark Fu is strong
source: awm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop these picky eaters
source: media4.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(St. Joseph News-Press)
 
 
 
CSB Sunday Morning: Favorite childhood toys
source: newspressnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Make the autoplay videos stop before my marriage is ruined. Tag is for videos that play in the night
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
If any of you were planning to use Gwyneth Paltrow's jade vagina eggs, don't. Also, what the hell were you thinking?
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Not news: Cops taser black suspect. Fark: Suspect (wrong guy) works for police department on improving relations with black community
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
This Gigapixel photo of the inauguration is the biggest, hugest photo, and by the way, it's a very attractive photo, let me tell you folks, the best photo that has ever been taken of an inauguration, here in America, which is also the best. Proud
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
From evidence presented in past threads, this man suffers from same problem as 30% of Farkers (not safe for work0
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medium)
 
 
 
"If we can't burn oil, it's not worth very much." A take on the coming pop of the Carbon Bubble
source: medium.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
"If you recently purchased meth that you feel may be rock salt, please feel free to bring it to the Sparta Police Department for testing. Tests can also be conducted on any meth pipes, needles, or other paraphernalia. Don't delay, come and see us"
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
San Francisco has a big dilemma, and that is where have all the children gone?
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Magnitude 7.9 quake strikes off Papua New Guinea, experts fear tens of dollars in damage caused
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Coming up at the top of the hour it's Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Join us for two hours of diverse music hosted live by a farker in Juneau, Alaska (9PM AKST/10PM PST)
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 

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