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Wed December 13, 2017
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Bad: a couple boards your Flight with a pair of fussy babies. Good: they considerately pass out noise cancelling headphones to the other passengers. Holy Shiat: it's George and Amal Clooney
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these selfie snappers
source: main-designyoutrust.netdna-ssl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
A probable cause affidavit states the man told officers his wife, Taylor Swift, "told me to kill him"
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Hip-hop grandpa dressed as an elf brings cheer to everyone
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
Meat may soon be taxed to fight greenhouse gas emissions. You'd think they'd go after cabbage first
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
Another year, another lineup featuring ridiculous Williams-Sonoma Christmas merchandise, includes floaters and SMEG, for extra LOLs
source: adequateman.deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Orcas near South Africa learn how to flip endangered Great White Sharks to make them helpless, then eat their livers. Only about 2000 Great Whites left in the wild. In other news, Great White shark livers are delicious
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Much like your mother, Detroit expects to get 5 to 8 inches tonight
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Oklahoma City zoo got a hippopotamus for Christmas. Gayla Peevey was there and approves
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
California's Skirball Fire caused by illegal cooking fire at homeless camp. "It does appear as if people were sleeping and cooking in that area. The fire department was not aware of this encampment prior to the fire"
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Extra Crispy)
 
 
 
It's that time of year again when people send you these bricks of fruit called fruitcakes during the holidays, but what exactly are they?
source: extracrispy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(iNews (UK))
 
 
 
Forget "The Last Jedi" - let's all remember the time Harrison Ford was forced to spend Christmas with Chewbacca's dysfunctional, sex-crazed family
source: inews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Seriously, how can somebody forget a baby by the sidewalk?
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
If you eat brussels sprouts for some reason, you could spend up to 1000% more
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this athletic effort
source: badzine.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Broadway dog confused by Cats. Enjoy your Woofday Wednesday
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Sheriff's department apologizes for photo showing a needle with the caption: "NARCAN: Robbing Darwin of his bountiful harvest since 1971"
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Kim Jong-Un will profit off of Bitcoin rather handsomely (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Roy Moore once again refuses to take "no" for an answer
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Robot carries Olympic torch in South Korea. Robot expected to do well in the "taking away jobs" marathon event
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Getting boozed-up by drinking donated wine left by parents and chowing down the pellet food of the school's pet guinea pig is no way to enjoy the holidays, teacher (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Would-be burglar doesn't get anything, gives moon instead (NSFW video moment of the moon)
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
U.S.: "Absolutely, positively, definitely no talks until you lose the Nukes." Best Korea: "Nuh-uh." Rex Tillerson: *BLINK*
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(San Bernardino Sun)
 
 
 
From the "Fat Chance" Department - If you picked up any bank robbery cash thrown on 15 Freeway, police would like it back
source: sbsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Australian town had one job to do for its 150th birthday celebration: remember the actual date
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue December 12, 2017
(NPR)
 
 
 
You want Jurassic Park? Because that's how you get Jurassic Park
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Hey, baby. Wanna come back to my Pepco substation?
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
And now some good news: London's Euston station to turn into homeless shelter for 200 people on Christmas Day
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
NewsFlash
 
Roy Moore banned from National Mall
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
I'm a shaaaaark, I'm a shaaaaark, enjoy your honeymoon, I'm a shaaaaark
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Study from Italy finds that stubbornness increases life expectancy. Subby want to know where they found Italians who weren't stubborn for the control group
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
NYC bomb suspect sent Trump a warning, but nobody noticed since it was on Facebook instead of Twitter
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
If you've been putting off your online holiday shopping, get yer butt in gear. UPS, FedEx, DHL are already running days late
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Irish News)
 
 
 
"And if you come this way, you can see some famous artifacts from early human history and over here some famous paintings from the renaissance era...and now here is a 130 ton fatberg that was found in the sewers"
source: irishnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Policeman crashes car while off duty and takes off running wearing nothing but his birthday suit. That's a promoting
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this whole park
source: artfund.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 17 Grand Rapids)
 
 
 
Robotic device helps paralyzed patients walk. Shoulder-mounted cannon still in development
source: fox17online.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
Here comes Santa B, here comes Santa B, paying layaway at Walmart
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCRA 3 Sacramento)
 
 
 
Car-ma
source: kcra.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTHR Indianapolis)
 
 
 
Texan woman dumps her trash in a Colorado parking lot, discovers that the internet and police love making people like her famous
source: wthr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Otago Daily Times)
 
 
 
After the dinosaurs, giant penguins ruled the earth
source: odt.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KXLH Helena)
 
 
 
Butte Fire Department reported the fire started in the rear and then spread throughout
source: kxlh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Article asks "should we cook for our dogs?". Your dog wants steak...rare...with a banana cream reduction and peanut butter garnish
source: thetakeout.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Loudoun Times)
 
 
 
Naked man running along highway near Dulles airport, looking for TSA agent with warm hands
source: loudountimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Root)
 
 
 
The racist mother who had the stupid idea to go viral with her bullied son, then was not racist, is actually indeed racist...and stupid. Subby hopes the GoFundMe money will cover all the therapy sessions her poor son will need
source: thegrapevine.theroot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
When you make a £100 bet with your boyfriend stating that he wouldn't be able to limit his booze intake to just one glass a night until Christmas, make sure you specify the size of the glass
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
25,000 climate scientists fly to New Orleans for booze, strippers and the American Geophysical Union's fall meeting, emitting 30,000 tons of CO2 in the process
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Kentucky lawmaker molested his daughter's friend, cops closed the case, press did some digging, lawmakers from both parties want him to resign, but Gov. Matt Bevin (R-epulsive) says "hold on there"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
$100 a gram. Oh wait, that's cop math. Make it $10 a gram
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Has Banksy finally been revealed?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Trimming Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this tree-trimmer
source: cdn2.newsok.biz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Man runs back into burning building to save A: His children? B: His pets? or C: His phone?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Clickhole)
 
 
 
Breitbart has a pre-written web page template for when a conservative or alt-right pol gets accused of sexual assault or misconduct... and it was accidentally made live on their site for a few minutes today
source: clickhole.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Well, that's a new way of getting fired from a teaching job
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
"What are you in for?" "Murder. You?" "Armed robbery. What about you?" "Bark, bark"
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
It's time to play media fear-mongering MadLibs. Your (common object) contains (number) times more bacteria than a toilet seat
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Former Hindu-turned Christian 'prophet' says he visited Heaven last year and knew Trump would be elected because "The people of Heaven decided he would." In other news, tickets to Hell increasing in popularity
source: patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Connecticut Post)
 
 
 
$10 beer pong bet turns into $15.6 million settlement
source: ctpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
According to study, more motorists die on a full moon, which is no surprise since it's very hard to drive and expose your bare arse at the same time
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hanover Evening Sun)
 
 
 
Don't you just hate it when you fire your shotgun at someone and that person was imaginary?
source: eveningsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Fire caused by air conditioner. You had ONE job
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Charles "wrong way" Jenkins, a U.S. soldier who defected TO North Korea in 1965 to avoid the Vietnam war, and was tortured and held captive there until 2005, has passed away at age 77
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Britain's new public enemy number one revealed as...... *spins wheel*.... Peppa Pig
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Ex-Facebook exec: We control the horizontal and the vertical. We can shape your vision to anything our imagination can conceive. For the foreseeable future, we will control all that you see and hear
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 2 St. Louis)
 
 
 
Bagpiper concert raises money for wounded police officer. Hasn't he suffered enough?
source: fox2now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Connecticut Post)
 
 
 
Son of Sam needs emergency heart surgery. No word on whether his dog is his healthcare proxy
source: ctpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Today's Fark-ready headline: "Smokers who get boob jobs have a high risk of their nipples falling off - but blood-sucking LEECHES can save them"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Merriam-Webster's: Our 2017 word of the year is "Feminism." "Menninism" still not a thing
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 2 St. Louis)
 
 
 
Police use amusing social media posts to help catch criminals. "Jorts-wearing suspect" not amused
source: fox2now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wordpress)
 
 
 
Photoshop this happy hiker
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Charles Manson died of cardiac arrest brought on by colon cancer. So, he suffered
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
"Florida man urinates in middle of Steak 'n Shake in front of dozens of customers"
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
San Francisco mayor Ed Lee heads off to the great sanctuary city in the sky
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Kim Jong Un just needs to commit apartheid to have his "Crimes Against Humanity" scorecard all checked off
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
DeVos to defrauded students: Fark you
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
People in Iceland really take their elves seriously
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Yellowstone's bighorns are suffering from a scab-causing virus spread during mating season
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Drunk driver tells the cops that his name is Burger King. He then proceeds to introduce his wife, Wendy, his son Carl Jr., and the Five Guys in his trunk
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
Dog named Rascal finds his forever home. After losing 85% of his blood to FLEA infestation. Previous owner finally being charged
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
If you accidentally tase a cop, you should at least get him a cake
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times of San Diego)
 
 
 
PSA: Looting houses in empty, fire-evacuated neighborhoods is sure to draw someone's attention. Especially if you're doing it while under the influence
source: timesofsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 

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