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(Headline T-Shirts are still available for archive links.)
Sun May 31, 2009
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(MSNBC) Strange Twelve of the butt-ugliest cell phones ever, presented in a slide show to enhance the awfulness  (msnbc.msn.com) (82)
(BBC) Spiffy Long secret, even from mapmakers, Russians lets BBC reporter into Baikonur space center  (news.bbc.co.uk) (16)
(Science Daily) Interesting When you mix "ghost" and "black hole" in a headline, the article better be good  (sciencedaily.com) (14)
(Science Daily) Cool This is a significant result in quantum computation, and could eventually have implications in banking, drug design, leaping  (sciencedaily.com) (70)
(Washington Post) Interesting Good: Metrorail expansion. Bad: Construction crew hits unmarked optical communications line. Fark: It belonged to the NSA  (washingtonpost.com) (83)
(Ars Technica) Fail Thanks to bad English to Japanesse translation of "too big of a price tag" we are all about to get smaller PS3's  (arstechnica.com) (115)
(IGN) Sad Nintendo realizing their Wii game catalog needs a boost, announces Kid Icarus 2. Just kidding, they are re-releasing Wii Fit but they added the word Plus to the title, so that's something  (wii.ign.com) (106)
(My Fox NY) PSA Five tips for gaming on a budget: # 4 - Convert to plain label Cheetos and whip up some homemade Red Bull using cherry coke and cough syrup  (myfoxny.com) (26)
(NASA) Cool The hottest solar prominence you'll see this week  (apod.nasa.gov) (18)
(New Scientist) Interesting Earth's protective shield is stealing our air. Someone should obviously have used a better combination than 12345 to secure it  (newscientist.com) (37)
(TechEBlog) Cool Futuristic vending machines you won't find at work, school  (techeblog.com) (15)
(Washington Post) Stupid Microsoft has kindly given you a Firefox add-on, and is helping you further by disabling the "Uninstall" option. Click "Tools" then "Add-ons" to see if you're one of the lucky millions  (voices.washingtonpost.com) (111)
(CBC) Obvious Manitoba is running out of phone numbers and they don't know what to do about it. No wonder these prairie geniuses lost the Jets  (cbc.ca) (33)
(Nola.com) Interesting So, what would have happened if Katrina had hit NYC instead?  (nola.com) (273)

Sat May 30, 2009
(Mirror.co.uk) Scary It's only May, and it's already the hottest day of the year in Britain, which means stores have already sold out of beer in dire picture of what global warming will mean to the rest of us  (mirror.co.uk) (45)
(Science Daily) Interesting "Blue Whale Discovered Singing In New York Coastal Waters." Will be at Birdland Friday, one night only  (sciencedaily.com) (18)
(Telegraph) Sad Scientists ecstatic after they discover first new type of cloud since 1953. Really, weather geeks need a real hobby  (telegraph.co.uk) (39)
(Some Japanese Dude) Cool The coolest way to look at news you'll see today  (newsmap.jp) (103)
(Gizmodo) Interesting Hey have you heard about that sound stealth technology?  (gizmodo.com) (20)
(NASA) Interesting The sun is quiet...too quiet  (science.nasa.gov) (64)
(Some Guy) Interesting Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak slams Microsoft's new Bing search engine. Just kidding, He calls it the "the most astounding software demo I've ever seen"  (tgdaily.com) (40)
(RedOrbit) Obvious Study finds "dramatic" rise in number of US teens choosing to stay sexually abstinent in latest proof that Americans ain't getting more attractive  (redorbit.com) (30)
(Some Guy) Cool The governator unveils phased plasma rifle in the 40 watt range  (news.xinhuanet.com) (130)
(Some Scientist) Obvious Scientist conducts study to determine how many scientific studies are falsified or fraudulent. Surprisingly, the results are inconclusive  (plosone.org) (13)
(Kotaku) Asinine You create a game company and put out some crap, then can't think of anything for 15 years. What to do to make money? Become an copyright troll and sue the hell out of anyone using the word "Edge"  (kotaku.com) (72)
(Gizmodo) Obvious Everybody's eager to get ahold of Windows 7 while no one seems to give a damn about the upcoming OS X release  (gizmodo.com) (175)
(NPR) Sappy 50 years after she went into space, people leave bananas on the grave of Baker the squirrel monkey  (npr.org) (14)
(Environmental Graffiti) Amusing Fifteen caterpillars that look like aliens. Number 5 will eat your soul  (environmentalgraffiti.com) (26)
(TechEBlog) Cool Three amazing hologram technologies that actually exist  (techeblog.com) (33)
(YouTube) Cool 300 baud modem from 1964 successfully connects to internet, browses Wikipedia  (youtube.com) (126)
(UPI) Unlikely Global warming accounts for 300,000 deaths annually and probably keyed your car too  (upi.com) (69)
(C|Net) Obvious Yahoo is doing a 180º on their 360º blogging service  (news.cnet.com) (16)
(Inventor Spot) Cool The analog digital clock  (inventorspot.com) (42)
(Ars Technica) Obvious "The architecture of the Nation's digital infrastructure, based largely upon the Internet, is not secure or resilient."  (arstechnica.com) (21)
(Some Guy) Amusing Japanese university gives away iPhones. The catch? They use the GPS feature to track students who skip class  (wbaltv.com) (24)

Fri May 29, 2009
(Discovery) Interesting Top 10 science hoaxes. You already know which one's strangely absent  (science.discovery.com) (133)
(Reuters) Interesting Nintendo sees slowdown ahead unless it can get an extra speed boost  (uk.reuters.com) (55)
(The New York Times) Interesting Google says its Android operating system will be on as many as 20 cellphones by the end of this year  (bits.blogs.nytimes.com) (18)
(Armor Games) Followup Remember that game Redstar Fall? The one you could finish in about 10 minutes? Yeah, about that  (armorgames.com) (40)
(KTVU) Cool Scientists continue their terrorist acts against mankind by trying to create a star or some crap  (ktvu.com) (9)
(Reuters) Followup Air samples taken from North Korea "Inconclusive." No radiation found  (reuters.com) (158)
(SFGate) Cool Obama to appont "cyber czar"; candidates include sports talk host Steve Czaban, NBA's Wally Szczerbiak, and psychologist Mihály Csíkszentmihályi  (sfgate.com) (39)
(The Register) Interesting For those of you that aren't web developers, this is a bit like trying to kill a person with a rifle by clubbing them in the foot with it  (theregister.co.uk) (93)
(Apple Insider?) Spiffy Early consensus on Zune HD: Better than iPod Touch  (appleinsider.com) (181)
(The London Paper) Sad Things that make men dumb: Beer, videogames, and now: talking to hot chicks  (thelondonpaper.com) (93)
(Some Guy) Cool 350-year-old skeleton discovered in England. Fans gather in hopes of hearing latest rendition of Like a Virgin  T-Shirt  (hampshirechronicle.co.uk) (31)
(Autoblog) Strange From the "More Money Than Sense" files: Ferrari 355 mated with a Citroen 2CV to make the fastest and ugliest car $250,000 will buy  (autoblog.com) (40)
(Some Guy) Stupid Microsoft. We're going to destroy Google by renaming our search engine after a strip club  (techtree.com) (108)
(The Register) Interesting GREat nEws for spies -- New crypto technique aLlows messages to be hIdden riGHT in the basic communication Protocols used in at LEASt 95 pErcent of systems  T-Shirt  (theregister.co.uk) (45)
(ABC News) Spiffy Ugly ass ultra-rare baby panda born in Thailand (with 'that's a farking panda?' pic)  (abcnews.go.com) (56)
(3 News New Zealand) Sad Clock industry rendering the cuckoo almost extinct  (3news.co.nz) (25)

Thu May 28, 2009
(Space) Interesting Romania to go to moon, by using a balloon. Yes, you read that correctly  (space.com) (57)
(Wired) Scary Ever buy manga? Congrats, you're a pedophile, and you're going to prison  (wired.com) (294)
(Fox News) Amusing Fox News breaks the story that Firefox is the most popular search engine besides Microsoft and Apple (LGT screen cap)  (grabup.com) (73)
(Some Guy) Stupid Ever wonder how beat cop John McClane met a young Holly Gennaro? Me either, but here's Die Hard: Year One, anyway  (blog.newsarama.com) (59)
(GameTrailers) PSA Videogame release schedule for June. I guess the new SIMS game is big on voyeurism.  (gametrailers.com) (63)
(The Sun) Interesting Scientists say massive volcano 260 million years ago almost wiped out life on the planet by unleashing a lava field five times the size of Wales. In related news, Wales is now being used as a scientific unit of measurement  (thesun.co.uk) (61)
(BBC) Amusing Dude I can like totally hear these couches man  (news.bbc.co.uk) (17)
(MSNBC) Interesting Astronomers are getting a close-up look at a cosmic eating machine that devours the mass equivalent of two Earths per hour and in the past has replaced Shelley Long on "Cheers"  T-Shirt  (msnbc.msn.com) (35)
(io9) Followup Terminator's Summer Glau may be in Dollhouse next season. From the dead-eyed pic, subby is guessing she will play a doll  (io9.com) (164)
(LA Times) Interesting Transformers 2: The Quest for More Money will be at least 9.3 times better than the first movie if file size is how we measure such things. File size *is* how we measure such things isn't it?  (latimes.com) (138)
(AMC) Obvious Q: Geeks and fanboys like steampunk, so why aren't steampunk movies successful? A: Because they suck like a spring-wound brass and antique mahogany vaccuum cleaner  (blogs.amctv.com) (256)
(Gizmodo) Interesting Microsoft has a machine that goes BING  (gizmodo.com) (74)
(Yahoo) Obvious Hurricane season starts June 1. Expect many headlines about Obama's hurricane machine and how he hates New Orleans and black people  (news.yahoo.com) (180)
(Yahoo) Scary I've a suggestion to keep you all occupied: Learn to swim  (news.yahoo.com) (160)

Wed May 27, 2009
(UPI) Interesting Many of the children treated for carbon monoxide poisoning after Hurricane Ike were playing video games powered by generators  (upi.com) (42)
(Some Guy) Interesting Newly discovered documents reveal that in the months immediately following the purported 1947 UFO crash at Roswell, secret government studies began on a material that was previously unknown to science  (ufodigest.com) (151)
(MSNBC) Dumbass "Liver damage caused by acetaminophen may be because of the lack of consumer awareness that acetaminophen can cause liver damage"  (msnbc.msn.com) (101)
(Internet News) Amusing Adobe to Google Chrome users: You don't exist  (blog.internetnews.com) (72)
(C|Net) Amusing AT&T CEO dismisses wireless network issues, points out that if people want an iPhone there's only one carrier on which to use it  (news.cnet.com) (78)
(Daily Mail) Cool Weird, massive ice circles in remote Siberian lakes photographed by ISS baffle scientists, who as we speak are probably making up another "theory" to explain it and keep God out of their brains (pics)  (dailymail.co.uk) (84)
(Atlanta Business Chronicle) Asinine Digital Transition is set for two weeks from Friday. This IS a repeat from a couple months ago  (bizjournals.com) (135)
(RedOrbit) Scary The US health care system is so damn terrific that one million Californians every year to to Mexico for basic medical procedures  (redorbit.com) (82)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Wii sells 50 million units. Sony responds with press release yelling at clouds  (news.vgchartz.com) (166)
(Forbes) Fail Check out the new death traps/cars that you'll be forced to drive by 2014. Its sad that a Hyundai is the only one that looks futuristic or cool  (forbes.com) (60)
(New Scientist) Interesting Think overfishing is what's driving cod to the brink of extinction? Nope, it's "turbo-evolution." Here comes the science  (newscientist.com) (53)
(Breitbart.com) Weird Japanese scientists create transgenic monkeys, no word on number of asses  (breitbart.com) (15)
(Gizmodo) Misc Does this physics tattoo make this man the biggest nerd on Earth or hottest geek alive?  (gizmodo.com) (70)
(The New York Times) Followup GTA goes G-A-Y  (artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com) (71)
(Houston Chronicle) Asinine Blogger jailed for contempt in Anna Nicole Smith case. Just when you thought ANS had dropped off the media map  (chron.com) (28)
(Space) Spiffy Mars Rover Opportunity passes ten mile mark after five years. NASA tries to explain how it got caught in Boston traffic  (space.com) (54)
(USA Today) Fail Seeking to duplicate Apple's success with its application store, Nokia opens its own app store, and finds a big ol' bundle of FAIL inside  (usatoday.com) (74)
(Daily Mail) Amusing This birdbrain shows you how to make a hooker  (dailymail.co.uk) (20)
(Livenews) Asinine Lock up your jewels. A wave of untraceable, cancerous cat burglars is on the way  (livenews.com.au) (17)

Tue May 26, 2009
(Science Daily) Obvious Study finds drinking on college campuses in the United States is a pervasive problem, leading to numerous problems, internet videos  (sciencedaily.com) (43)
(Science Daily) Interesting Light switches, TV remote controls and even house keys could become a thing of the past thanks to brain-computer interface (BCI) technology being developed that lets users perform everyday tasks with thoughts alone. What could possibly go wrong?  (sciencedaily.com) (56)
(Oregon Live) Strange Environmentally aware sci-fi writer recommends rabbits as sustainable "green" meat, slaughters them herself to assure quality. "If I'm going to eat it, I'm going to kill it"  (blog.oregonlive.com) (112)
(Axcess News) Interesting Women use more active head motion when conversing with each other than men do, according to study performed by the National Institute of Uh-uh No You Di'nt and the University of Oh Snap  (axcessnews.com) (39)
(Popular Science) Obvious Global warming alarmists change some assumptions in their computer models and claim global warming twice as great as before. With bonus spiffy color graphs  (popsci.com) (523)
(CNN) Unlikely Facebook valued at $10 billion after Russian investor buys a 2% stake for $200 million  (money.cnn.com) (33)
(CNN) Followup Kutcher threatens to stop Twittering. OH THE HUMANITY  (us.cnn.com) (116)
(Newsweek) Obvious Why Google might be "a little evil". Next week: Why Drew may be "a little drunk"  (newsweek.com) (51)
(Engadget) Asinine Tony Hawk's Ride retailing for $120. You can literally buy a complete skateboard for the same price  (engadget.com) (90)
(BBC) Scary Tired of swine flu? Good - because now it's measles that is going to kill you  (news.bbc.co.uk) (82)
(ABC News) Sad World's oldest blogger 404'd at 97 (pic)  (abcnews.go.com) (33)
(LA Times) Interesting Farms breed miniature cows to cut down on global warming, appear in Shriners' parades, keep White Castle in business  (latimes.com) (60)
(Daily Express) Cool Boffins create a high-def TV that is only a few millimetres thick  (dailyexpress.co.uk) (60)
(YouTube) Video This is a pygmy jerboa and it's FREAKING WEIRD  (youtube.com) (100)
(New Scientist) Ironic Mars robots may have destroyed the very evidence they were sent there to gather  (newscientist.com) (58)

Mon May 25, 2009
(Some Guy) Florida First poop-to-power plant opens in Sanford, FL with many wondering where will number two be?  T-Shirt  (distributedenergy.com) (83)
(Some Guy) Scary Antarctica catches fire in latest proof that global warming is worse than we think  (anorak.co.uk) (39)
(CTV) Scary Aurora borealis: Beautiful arctic light show, or silent killer? Next Geraldo  (ctv.ca) (23)
(Guardian.com) Interesting Why the odds of police making a false DNA match are rising exponentially as the DNA data base gets larger. Maybe you can explain to the judge at your sentencing that you understood there would be no math  (guardian.co.uk) (43)
(WTOP) Dumbass Just in time for Windows 7, the US Army announces plans to migrate to Vista  (federalnewsradio.com) (58)
(Fanboy.com) Hero The 24 most patriotic achievements of Jack Bauer  (fanboy.com) (204)
(Slashdot) Interesting In Instanbul, not Constantinople, cameras to recognize 15,000 faces/sec. How does it work? That's no one's business but the Turks'  (yro.slashdot.org) (40)
(Telegraph) Sad Underwater photographer for "National Geographic" dies from the bends while filming in Greece. Radiohead wanted for questioning  (telegraph.co.uk) (57)
(C|Net) Cool ASU's International Institute for Species Exploration releases top 10 new species. Surprisingly, Nick Cage's hair not listed  (news.cnet.com) (19)
(London Times) Unlikely "Climate change is the cholera of our era"  (timesonline.co.uk) (48)

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