FARK.com: Geek links -- Archives for 2009-04-26

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These links may be stale and generate errors. Can't do much about it. Tastes like chicken.

(Headline T-Shirts are still available for archive links.)

Sun April 26, 2009

	Newest thing in car tech? Device that limits teenagers from driving over 80. Back in my day, we called that a Chevette	(270)
	Graphic designer who developed the birdie logo on Twitter's homepage cashes his check. Fark: He buys a $5 foot-long and has $1 left over	(81)
(San Diego Reader)	If you flee civilization to avoid swine flu, watch out for the Black Death	(38)
(NASASpaceflight)	Pictures and video from yesterday's launch of the world's largest model rocket	(50)
	Scientists can tell how you're going to die from your DNA; how DNA shows you getting hit by a truck outside a liquor store I don't know	(43)

Sat April 25, 2009

	"Ubuntu is now as slick and beautiful as Mac OS X or Windows 7"	(295)
(MIT.edu)	MIT chemists have synthesized a compound from an ocean-living fungus that has shown the ability to kill cancer cells in the lab. Still no cure for cancer, but they're getting close	(33)
	Big ISPs unable to compete with small, city-owned company. So they do the logical thing by lowering prices and improving service. Just kidding; they're trying to get a law passed making the new company illegal	(111)
	The Google maps alphabet from A to Z (Aerial Photos)...Warning - slide show	(54)
	And for your next nightmare, giant space tornadoes	(26)
	Even if your ISP has not imposed an actual cap, they may still have an "acceptable use" policy to kick your ass off their system if they think you've downloaded too much -- and you don't have to be a pirate to get there	(79)
	Here is a $62,000 reason to turn off your data plan when traveling abroad	(78)
	Nothing you didn't already know from your last visit to the dentist, but medicine found to attract sickos who get their rocks off by causing people pain. "The profession attracts people too comfortable with the hurting aspect"	(56)

Fri April 24, 2009

	Wikipedia threatens website discussing and critiquing Wikipedia. Somebody needs a citation	(40)
	Conficker virus, which was a threat, then not a threat, then a threat, then a joke, is now a threat again	(49)
	If there's a certain smugness around the unemployment office next week, it's because Apple fired 1,600 workers from its retail stores today	(195)
	Leave it to the Aussies to find a way to make cars run on Tequila	(27)
	Microsoft's $17,000 Surface touchscreen table requires you to use a keyboard and a mouse to set it up out of the box	(166)
	Study finds that denial can bring marital bliss. Submitter doesn't know what the hell they're talking about, my marriage is just fine the way it is	(347)
	World's first electric car actually dates back to 1884, built by a British inventor	(35)
	German doctors cut 40-pound tumor from 82-pound Saudi woman. She's now well enough to go home and get stoned for going out without a male relative escort	(63)
(Some Guy)	Facebook, yesterday: "We will not adopt our new ToS unless 30 percent of our users vote on it." Facebook, today: "Um, yeah, about what we said yesterday..."	(54)
	For the first time in recorded history RealNetworks is the company you want to applaud	(46)
	A novel idea: The machine that can print off any book for you in minutes (w/pics)	(86)
	WFTV Remote HD Camera + Space Shuttle launch 1/4 mile away = awesomeness (with actual audio)	(58)
	Constantly annoyed by the amount of time it takes for your computer to boot up? Here comes the future science that might make you wet yourself	(98)

Thu April 23, 2009

	Why night owls are smarter and make more money than people who get up early. Go ahead and talk trash about the early risers here - they're already in bed	(91)
	Scientists have made spider silk three times stronger by adding metal. Still working on a high-pressure, wrist-mounted firing system	(27)
	The Aptera is showstopping, aerodynamic electric car: 100 mi. range, 0-60 in 10 seconds, tops out at 90 MPH, "handles like a bat out of hell." Will be available for sale this year for about the price of 2005 Acura MDX	(99)
	Even though Yahoo spent $4 Billion on Geocities, let it go man, cause it's gone	(82)
	Scientists mooooove one step closer to curing cancer by sequencing the bovine genome	(15)
	Noted biotechnology researcher Jim Carrey would like you to know that vaccines cause autism. And he's not talking out of his ass again	(170)
	Weather.com presents Green Week sponsored by Hummer	(22)
(Not exactly rocket science)	Scientists find fossil of a seal with legs instead of flippers which clearly is 6000 years old and could never have evolved into seals because [shakes magic 8 ball] magic Bible says it did not. w/clearly faked photo goodness	(311)
(Some Guy)	"Is the government dropping $2 billion on DTV converter boxes just so we can watch American Idol in high def? No way. The real reason for the transition from analog is so that the feds can secretly monitor every house in the country"	(92)
	Sex researchers Masters and Johnson may have faked data saying they had converted gays into heterosexuals. But the moaning was so convincing	(67)
	Turns out the judge in the Pirate Bay trial might not have been so imparrrrrrrtial	(91)
	"The Web as I envisaged it, we have not seen it yet. The future is still so much bigger than the past," said Tim Berners-Lee from his office beneath The Black Sun in the metaverse	(75)
	Don't tase me with one of the 12% of Tasers that function outside of the manufacturer's specifications, bro	(24)
(BLOCKBUSTER BUZZ)	Five video games so pretty, you just want to watch them	(219)
	Six wooden gadgets that actually work	(51)
	Like ultra luxury cars, but not the annoying friends that come with them? The Geely GE is just for you	(39)
	Girl tries to swallow iPod shuffle but only manages to cause an erection to every Apple fanboy in the Intarwebs (with video)	(51)
	Astronomers use the term "blob" 34 times in journal article trying to explain giant mystery thingee from 800 million years ago (w/ pic)	(38)
	Physicist claims to have solved a 40-year-old lunar riddle: The angle of the sun's dangle is proportional to the crusty of the moon's dusty	(76)
	Believing that you're old and stupid will actually make you...old and stupid	(21)
	If you ever come across a purple and pink squirrel during your stroll through the forest, it might not be because of those mushroom you ate for lunch (With Pic)	(47)

Wed April 22, 2009

	Shaken Baby Syndrome? Infanticide? Yep...there's an iPhone app for that	(59)
	Better beer through bioengineering? To the laboratory	(53)
	Have any old HD-DVDs lying around from Warner Bros? For $5 they'll send you a copy of the Blu-ray version	(63)
	Malicious program targets Macs; and no, it's not Realplayer	(181)
	Chrysler's Peapod electric car uses iPhone as a car key and "green meter"	(82)
	Doctor claims he can clone a human being. All he did is implant a cloned human embryo of an unnamed woman's husband into her womb and she'll give birth to a clone of her husband. Wait, what?	(50)
	In honor of Earth Day, here's a bunch of high-def video of the planet from the ISS. Thanks, NASA	(26)
	Good news for people that love bad news: There's a proposed cure for asthma, and it's called "letting lice infest you"	(41)
	The sun is the dimmest it has been for almost a century. Probably from reporting too many stories on ghosts, UFOs and Amy Winehouse	(87)
	Do not taunt happy face spider	(84)
	Introducing Gliese 581 d, the planet from which our eventual extraterrestrial overlords will most likely invade	(97)
	If you're sick of having to interrupt that raid for mundane things like eating and going to the toilet, you'll love the WoWpod	(75)
	Small U.S. company unveils truck that gets 100 MPG and says the goal is to make 50,000 vehicles a year by 2013. America, FARK YEAH	(115)
	Nicotine gum will give you cancer. Still no cure for smoking	(31)
(KSL)	Got a brain tumor? No problem, just sting yourself with a scorpion	(36)
	Yeah, about that Fox News story on increasing Antarctic sea ice and global warming? You will be shocked, SHOCKED to learn they left out key findings. If only there was a phrase for truths that weren't convenient to your position	(230)
(Oobject.com)	Your own cellular phone for only $397: Cell phone commercials from the days of yore	(32)

Tue April 21, 2009

	Robotic penguins that can swim, fly, colloberate to destroy Gotham once and for all	(50)
	The results of this breakdancing study just in. File under: "things we all knew 25 years ago"	(65)
	How not to be hated on Facebook	(97)
	Virgin builds 36 foot working scale version of Saturn V moon launch rocket. No, not that Virgin	(41)
	First came the building sized computer. Then the Desktop. Then the laptop. The netbook. and now we have them so small they fit in your pocket, otherwise known as the Calculator?	(40)
	Researchers hope to identify potential for psychopathic behaviors in children. Obviously they don't know about the Are You a Psychopath? quiz in Facebook	(38)
	Ebay testing new 'certified seller' feature in attempt to drive even more people away from the site	(68)
	"Hey kids - it's super-cool to sign an organ donor card. OMFG YA RLY"	(91)
	Proof that God so loves the Earth that He is leaving us heart-shaped lakes in the Arctic as Holy Valentines (pic)	(68)
	New book studies whether young people who Twitter their every moment, never put down their cellphones, blog their every thought, and won three trophies before breakfast might be "narcissistic"	(64)
	Bad news for those of you who continue to use plastic grocery bags just for the joy of spiting hippies	(263)
	Survey indicates that there are five times more paralyzed people in the US than previously thought, citing new survey method where researchers knocked on doors and actually waited more than two minutes for someone to answer	(17)
	Scientists discover that the Great Wall of China has grown by 3850 km. Mongols will still just go around it	(73)
(Kitsap Sun)	Acclaimed documentary producer Ken Burns tells schoolkids to stop texting, stop twittering, and go enjoy a national park, preferably with slow pans and old-timey banjo music	(95)
(Some Guy)	Astronomers say the center of the universe tastes like raspberries and smells like rum	(54)
	Nazi supercows invade England	(40)
	Former NASA astronaut says mankind is not alone in the universe. He checked	(611)
	Scientists discover FARK SHIATCOCK look at that plane...that Tourette's PENISPENISPENIS and ADHD frequently occur togethSHIAT LETS GO RIDE FARKING BIKES RAARRGH PENIS	(52)
	You and your girlfriend who lives in Canada, and whom none of us have ever met, may soon be able to practice long-distance intimacy with the Mutsugoto	(35)

Mon April 20, 2009

	Scientists claim your quadruple cheeseburger eating fat ass is likely causing global warming. The Sun is there, making you feel guilty	(53)
(Some Guy)	The military, in an attempt to keep one step ahead of the enemy, unveils its newest secret weapon: the iPod touch...wait...wut?	(52)
	Old and Busted: Phishing. New Hotness: Smishing	(13)
	These are the voyages of the starship Cassini, its continuing mission to explore strange old worlds, to seek out new photographs of the coolest stuff you will see in our solar system. To bodly go where no man has gone before	(78)
	Dirty dead stars often survived by aimless, drifting rock groups after they are blown away. This is not another Kurt Cobain link	(22)
	Woman develops a 1-in-230 million allergy to water, leaving her unable to bathe, pondering moving to France where she will fit in	(123)
	She was "unable to distinguish between a UFO and a streetlight"	(36)
	Stephen Hawking rushed to hospital. Doctors fear he may never walk again	(295)
	You get a leech on your eyeball. Do you c)	(68)
	Jeremy Paxman plans to donate his brain to help researchers find a cure for Parkinsons, because if there's one thing the scientists need it's the brain of a man known for asking the same question over and over again	(22)
	Adobe's new version of Flash can be streamed to televisions. Change to channel 54 to enlarge your penis now	(56)
	Coolest hi-res photo of Martian sand dunes you'll see this year	(43)
	The goggles, they do nothing	(122)
(Some Guy)	Some guy decides to be the first man to set foot on some volcano he saw erupting out of the sea on TV. Nearly drowns himself trying to swim with his huge brass balls	(30)
	Save the bell bottoms, save the ozone	(20)