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(Headline T-Shirts are still available for archive links.)
Sun February 08, 2009
(BBC) Amusing The craziest stoat playing in the snow video you'll see all day (16)
(London Times) Amusing "Sat nav is unrealistic as it lacks the aggression of the usual husband-and-wife map-reading interface. Someone should come up with a sat nav with a reality voiceover. 'Make a U-turn ... you prat.' That's it: Prat nav" (11)
(MSN) Cool WiTricity soon to eliminate the need for power cords. "I'm in a conference room with a scientist who is going to let 120 volts fly out of the wall, on purpose." (45)
(Yahoo) Asinine Seven video games that changed the world. Argue about the five that SHOULD be here to the right (266)
(Some Stats Geek) Interesting The most mathematically-impenetrable analysis of Playmate body-mass indices you will see before the next time you're in your bunk (safe for work; unsafe for math-averse) (35)
(Some Guy) Spiffy The active ingredient in marijuana cuts tumor growth in common lung cancer in half and significantly reduces the ability of the cancer to spread (93)
(London Times) Interesting Toxic French warship too polluted for India arrives in the only other Third World hellhole desperate enough to dismantle it: Britain (28)
(London Times) Obvious Jeremy Clarkson: "Left-handed people are different than you and me. In short, they are what science calls 'weirdos'" (118)
(My San Antonio) Interesting Scientists create new technologies - from blasphemy (115)
(Baltimore Sun) Cool Man's 2,400-horsepower, twin-turbo-charged 1963 Corvette is widely regarded as the fastest street-legal car on the planet; "It's like driving a UFO on the highway" (243)
(News Of The World) Amusing Not news: Woman divorcing man over gay affair. Fark: On Second Life. With bonus Troy Hammerthall goodness (43)
(The Times of India) Interesting If you misbehaved as a child it's your fault your mom is fat (17)
(ScienceBlog) Strange Researchers discover the key to increasing the average male lifespan: incest (35)
(The Earth Times) Obvious IT specialists still in demand despite economic downturn, explaining why makers of web porn, Jolt cola and Garanimals are also weathering the meltdown so well (34)
(London Times) Interesting Scientists discover what makes a kiss hot, rather than the sort of tonguing-a-dead-trout experience that you bring to the table (34)
(London Times) Strange British hospitals under fire for selling livers from dead Britons to foreign patients. Submitter surprised they could find a British liver that wasn't the size of a goddamn beachball (9)

Sat February 07, 2009
(London Times) Dumbass Andrew Wakefield, the doctor who made the initial claims linking vaccines with autism, wasn't just wrong; he was deliberately falsifying his data (123)
(ABC Action News) Unlikely It's called the 'Don't-Come-Near-Me-Diet' (57)
(BBC) Obvious What do you give someone on their 150th anniversary? The wind? (88)
(Telegraph) Obvious It's scientifically proven: teenagers are stupider today than they were 30 years ago (65)
(BBC) Dumbass Microsoft fires the entire development team responsible for the ONLY software they ever published that wasn't a bug-riddled piece of shiat (41)
(ComputerworldUK) Fail Ballmer: Stay on Windows XP and you will face a backlash (168)
(Yahoo) Obvious The US is pretty much the only country in the world that was stupid enough to try to force all TV stations to switch to digital TV at the same time (35)
(Computerworld) Interesting Six signs that e-books are here to stay, and go mainstream (66)
(TechEBlog) Amusing This rug has not finished downloading (15)
(TechEBlog) Cool When it comes to playing with a giant Tesla coil, make sure you don't cross the streams (39)
(C|Net) Amusing When has your addiction (F5) become a problem? When you stop by an Apple store (F5) so much to check your Facebook they have to block access. (F5) Thank God Farkers aren't like that. Dammit, go green already (F5) (40)

Fri February 06, 2009
(Gizmodo) Cool The first operational stealth ship in the world.... from Sweden? (pics) (84)
(io9) Cool The ten most expensive comic books at the New York Comic Con. Commence "Comic Book Guy" jokes...now (92)
(Network World) Interesting Study: Mommas don't let their babies grow up to be engineers (96)
(CNN) Interesting Consumers ditching cable, preferring to watch their TV online for free. Why do consumers hate the economy? (195)
(Boston Globe) Spiffy Liverpool attacked by 37-tonne robotic spider, doing whatever a 37-tonne robotic spider can (37)
(Fox News) Cool Robots will fight the wars of the future, says military expert, John Connor (60)
(Seattle Times) Spiffy Seattle comic book guys expand chain of stores despite recession, credit "Watchmen" movie, popularity of Obama-Spidey issue, and fact that a good comic only costs as much as a latte (30)
(Yahoo) Interesting Climate change may reshuffle western weeds. Jamband fans reported to be inconsolable (48)
(Network World) Amusing Forget the Grammy Awards: Behold the Tech Music Awards (14)
(Toronto Star) Cool Awesome unplugged show coming March 5th to Toronto. Organizers say its one to watch (26)
(Reuters) Obvious Money was spent on this scientific study to find out that male college students like to play violent video games and download porn. What recession? (23)
(Daily Mail) Amusing The car for the guy with the world's biggest penis. Assuming he can fit it in the passenger compartment (53)
(Yahoo) Dumbass Your inability to throw a football through a tire-swing may mean that you will die young. Please see a doctor if you experience an erection lasting longer than four hours (8)
(TechEBlog) Cool Corn starch and a speaker cone. It might not sound like much, but it makes for a great video (52)
(The Sun) Interesting "I'm pretty open-minded but to think I might have caught an actual UFO is amazing" (pics) (67)
(CNN) Stupid Fears of impostors increase on Facebook. You should really check out this link. -Drew (40)
(ABC News) PSA "Men are lucky because they have a dipstick for health. It's called the penis." (28)
(Fox News) Cool For only $139k, you can have your very own plane that converts to a boat. [Not sold by US Airways] (27)
(Globe and Mail) Stupid "You know, books are great and all, but I wish someone would invent a way to squish book pages to a 1" viewable page so I can read them on my cellphone." It's your lucky day (45)

Thu February 05, 2009
(London Times) Interesting Scientists find ants communicate using tiny washboard and plectrum. Search still on for the ones with the teeny, tiny jug and washtub bass (26)
(UPI) Unlikely God continues to test us, as scientists claim to have found fossil evidence of animals living on earth more than 635 million years ago (86)
(Reuters) Obvious Robotic Einstein unveiled that looks like him, smiles when you do and invents stupid crap about things so small you can't even see that are probably just as accurate as the so-called 'theory' of evolution (37)
(Yahoo) Obvious Quite a few TV stations are just going to say "Fark this" and proceed with shutting down analog signals on Feb. 17 (73)
(MSNBC) Obvious Scientists find that sunscreen may generate more skin damaging free radicals than no sunscreen, recommend switching to Crisco (41)
(CTV) Scary Research indicates a collapse of the Antarctic ice shelf could raise the ocean levels enough to shift the Earth's axis. Surf's up (89)
(CNN) Dumbass Who's still relying on rabbit ears? Well, besides rabbits? (74)
(Network World) Interesting Want to get out of a burning building? Follow the gamer (59)
(Time) Obvious Top 25 things people have shared on Facebook that they shouldn't have. #4: "I have been pooped on by a monkey." (62)
(Gizmodo) Sad The last day at Circuit City, from an employee's perspective (217)
(BBC) Interesting In an effort to reduce greenhouse gases, Sweden repeals its 30-year ban on nuclear power plants. New plants can be assembled using only screwdrivers and allen wrenches (61)
(Some Guy) Unlikely University offers course in "how to become better facebook friends with your kids". Little Johnny has rejected your friend request (11)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Scientist with too much time on his hands figures that there could be intelligent life on 37,964 worlds in the Milky Way galaxy, not including Earth, which may not qualify (44)
(Internet News) Interesting DELETE FROM employees WHERE COMPANY = 'Sun Microsystems' AND POSITION = 'MySQL founder'; (74)
(The Register) Asinine News: Microsoft confirms you will be able to upgrade from Windows XP to Windows 7. Fark: You'll have to wipe your hard drive first (134)
(New Scientist) Cool Gastric condoms reduce obesity, stop Type-II Diabetes dead in its tracks, let you keep on eating fried foods and drinking beer (93)
(AFP) Interesting Hardware from China, software from India, and if they get their hands on a time machine, we're farked (11)
(CNN) Silly Unexpected quote from an article about a thirty-something's biological clock: "I hate running. So you're not going to see me doing it -- unless I'm being chased by a pack of fast, blood-thirsty zombies." (64)
(TechEBlog) Amusing To get a girlfriend, World of Warcraft players should talk like this (107)
(BBC) Interesting Latest scam that will infect your computer with a virus? Fake parking tickets (13)
(Wired) Cool Ten years ago today, Victoria's secret launched the world's first major webcast. Let's all take a moment to remember those pioneering heroes (9)
(London Times) Amusing Too smart to fall for the ComputerTan hoax? Over 30,000 people aren't (22)
(Silicon Alley Insider) Cool What, Your 9-year-old Doesn't Write iPhone Apps? (33)
(Science Daily) Ironic Scientists create compound out of single element Boron. Finally, a correct use of the Ionic tag (46)
(Guardian.com) Interesting New Emoti-Chair allows deaf people to "hear" music through their asses. Nickelback seeks cross-promotion deal (12)
(Network World) Fail Latest threat to computer security is A) a new internet worm, B) a vulnerability in web browsers, or C) horseracing and box of cookies (16)
(Gizmodo) Scary Thought of the day: what if the earth is a giant alien hard drive? Don't all panic at once now - you might mess up their Tetris game (55)
(Daily Mail) Scary Retired lab technician builds fusion reactor in his bedroom. Eat your heart out David Hahn (66)
(BBC) Followup Kangaroo loses bounce. This is good news...for Hulu (4)
(New Scientist) Interesting Why our brains are predisposed to believe in a God (147)
(CrunchGear) Cool Japan to get upgraded, more dildonic Shinkansen bullet train in 2011 that can go up to 320 km/h (34)
(Idaho Statesman) Silly Boise zoo animals offer instruction on how to pick up chicks, get down to monkey business, and love like a lemur (8)
(Stars and Stripes) Cool Astronaut tells space stories from breathtaking Earth views to recycling urine. "We call it the coffee machine. It takes yesterday's coffee to make today's coffee." (39)

Wed February 04, 2009
(Gizmodo) Amusing Bill Gates releases mosquitoes upon audience to show how serious malaria is. Would have been cooler if he released the dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark, they shoot bees at you (88)
(Labspaces.net) Cool As long as a school bus and as heavy as a small car, the largest snake the world has ever known ruled six million years ago. Your anaconda don't want none (83)
(MTV) Interesting Wii boxing game a little too straining and predictable? How about snapping a whip and punching Nazis in the face as Indiana Jones? (82)
(CTV) Spiffy Octuplets highly unlikely in Canada, say experts, due to IVF guidelines, cold water (15)
(Burlington Free Press) Interesting Cancelled as commencement speaker at the University of Vermont because of his support for creationism, Ben Stein calls the whole episode "pathetic" and "irritating to the eyes" (311)
(CNN) Scary Lexus Hybrid SUV mistakenly thinks it's in a Jerry Bruckheimer movie, randomly explodes for no reason. UPDATE: CSI team finds bomb residue, provides necessary plot twist (232)
(MSNBC) Amusing EU astronomers discover what might be "the smallest Earthlike planet yet discovered beyond our solar system -- depending on how you define 'smallest' and 'Earthlike.'" In other news, Bill Clinton is now an EU astronomer (18)
(Space) Interesting Astronomers link together sixteen Playstation 3s to study black hole vibrations, because renting a supercomputer is too expensive and doesn't have enough Dead Space (66)
(ABC News) Asinine Google launches new software allowing you to track people on Google Maps in real time using their cell phone. The 'What Could Possibly Go Wrong?' cliche suddenly seems so inadequate (95)
(London Times) Strange Stephen Fry gets stuck in an elevator, Tweets his fate. Within minutes, fan sets up "Rescue Stephen Fry from the Lift" group on Facebook. Thousands follow the drama on Twitter and Facebook. And you thought Fark was time-wasting (65)
(Science Daily) Interesting Why don't more animals change their sex? Maybe because spike heels and a sun dress look ridiculous on an armadillo (17)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Something to raise your spirits: Study finds hard evidence that responsible alcohol consumption lowers erectile dysfunction (27)
(Lonely Geek) Spiffy Retro review: How "Back to the Future III" destroyed the space-time continuum (256)
(BBC) Stupid Pregnant smokers "fear criticism," jackhammers (78)
(SeattlePI) Strange U.S. Forest Service scientists discover that herbal tea flakes protect trees from bark beetles. Whatever you say, U.S. Forest Service scientists (22)

Tue February 03, 2009
(Silicon Alley Insider) Spiffy The next generation of the iPhone will let you run iBeer AND Pull My Finger in the background while you're doing something else altogether. It'll be SO FUNNY (43)
(Wired) Hero Think parents trying to play doctor with WebMD are annoying? Meet the guy who sequenced his daughter's DNA (46)
(The Sun) Followup All those pedophiles they threw out of MySpace? Yeah, they went to Facebook (39)
(AP) Amusing Amazon is so proud of its ebook device the Kindle that it doesn't want to disclose how many it has sold, but a spokesman assures reporters that it is in the "several dozens" at least (120)
(MSNBC) Misc MySpace removes 90,000 sex offenders, leaving 14 genuinely legitimate profiles intact (91)
(Detroit Business News) Obvious California scores at bottom of fuel economy study, according to the National Institute of Duh (68)
(Some Guy) Interesting Experts discuss the feasibility of the technology shown on "24," including a single firewall protecting the whole government, whether a hacker could control airlines and why Jack can get cell phone coverage in a submarine (66)
(MSN) Interesting Ten web sites that will matter in 2009, according to someone that apparently hasn't discovered porn or Fark (35)
(CBC) Obvious Survey about teen sex almost as sloppy, confused and out-of-control as teenage sex itself (33)
(Science Daily) Interesting The bigger the black hole, the bigger the galaxy. Sounds like space porn (18)
(Globe and Mail) Cool University students call International Space Station, ask if refrigerator is running (15)
(BBC) Strange 48-year old woman gives birth to a healthy one-pound donor kidney (28)
(CTV) Interesting Doctors test latest attempt at artificial liver. Pleasework pleasework pleasework (18)
(Spiegel) Sick "In 1492, when Pope Innocent VIII was on his deathbed, his doctors bled three boys and had the pope drink their blood. The boys died, and so did the pope." (161)
(Canada.com) Cool Scientists develop quantum dot that may reduce computer power consumption a thousand fold, so now is a better time than ever to invest all your money in potatoes and nails (34)
(Science Daily) Cool Old and busted: Google Earth. New hotness: Google Mars (29)
(IndyStar) Unlikely The Center for Making Up Big Numbers says second-hand smoke cost Indiana $390,000,000 last year (106)
(Some Guy) Spiffy First look at Neil Gaiman's "Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader?" (100)
(Al Jazeera) Unlikely Iran has 'shopped the surly bonds of Earth to touch the beard of Allah (148)
(London Times) Scary USA to build "most powerful computer ever" to control nuclear arsenal. Here comes the Skynet (158)
(London Times) Unlikely Government IT projects always screw up: This guy has the answer - Welcome to Open Source Britain (18)
(Journal-News) Spiffy IBM announces 20-petaflop computer, followed by a computer whose merest operational parameters it is not worthy to calculate. Subby thinks this is getting needlessly messianic (44)
(Engadget) Silly When presenting a USB flash drive to a confectionary, make sure they know that the picture you want on the cake is ON the drive, not OF the drive (51)
(Financial Times) Scary NASA and Google team up, begin to "...worry that a malicious artificial intelligence might annihilate the human race." (34)
(Engadget) Interesting Pics of a working Halo Warthog, Submitter wants one to tell everyone to get off his lawn (38)
(Guardian.com) Spiffy Soon you will be able to use Google Ocean to hunt for the Red October without leaving your parents basement (35)
(National Post) Interesting Why beer and pizza go so well together. Here comes the science (47)

Mon February 02, 2009
(MSN) Interesting Old and busted: BlackBerry. New hotness: Baby BlackBerry (46)
(Boston Globe) Amusing New biofueled Bentley to top 205 mph, smell like french fries (12)
(Daily Mail) Interesting New study finds that because of grade inflation, people who flunked math tests badly in the 1980s would ace them today. Submitter weeps for his lost career as a theoretical physicist and the Lamborghinis he'd be driving today (30)
(Discover) Strange Fark you, Mars hole (32)
(Labspaces.net) Unlikely Does your teenager have friends? And go out with them? Then he or she is probably a pothead (77)
(News.com.au) Stupid Research says schools should allow kids to use their mobile phones in class whenever they want. Why? Because kids don't pay any attention to the bans, anyway. That's some good logic there, Lou (132)
(London Times) Interesting New research shows Henry VIII went from a 32-inch waist and 39-inch chest as a young man to a 52-inch waist and a 53-inch chest in his final years. Six wives'll do that to you, man (20)
(Reuters) Scary Animal-Human clones don't work. Just ask anyone in the South (58)
(SMH) Interesting Google Earth: Don't blame us for terrorist attacks (28)
(Some Virologist) Interesting New treatment prevents herpes in mice. Good news for herpes-ridden mice aficionados (35)
(Kotaku) Fail Kanagawa Japan police facing budget cuts use a Nintendo Wii to make a police sketch. I think I saw that guy hanging out in Mario Cart (55)
(Fox News) Stupid Archaeologist travels to Turkey "In Search of" Noah's Ark. Lost civilizations, extraterrestrials, myths and monsters, missing persons, magic and witchcraft, unexplained phenomena.., (466)
(Engadget) Scary Hacker demonstrates how to make identity theft easy by war-driving around San Francisco, using a laptop and antenna to clone RFID-equipped passports, credit cards and driver's licenses (100)
(London Times) Interesting Ecoterrorists could attack with insects and bug bombs may be the only thing that could save us (21)
(Financial Times) Interesting How much would you pay for a laptop? 100s? 1000s? Stop. Don't answer. What if I told you that you could get a laptop for $20? Bonus word: Sakshat (48)
(New Scientist) Ironic New technology promises to help stop the government invading your privacy, as long as you carry a GPS enabled cellphone and tell them exactly where you are all the time (20)
(Gizmodo) Silly Old and Busted: Rolex watches. Old and Busted: Rolex Sand for your hourglass (17)
(Defamer) Dumbass Wii Fit tells fat kids they're fat. Guess who thinks there's a problem with that (129)
(CBC) Scary Desert locusts are normally solitary and lonely creatures, but they often join locust gangs soon after being fed the mood-altering drug Serotonin (31)
(Daily Mail) Interesting The only thing separating us from the chimps is love (68)

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