Drew Curtis' FARK.com -- Geek Archives for '2008-12-28 23:59:59'

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Sun December 28, 2008

	Swiss cheese might explain dark energy, but it doesn't explain time-traveling Swiss watch	(22)
	The internet is filled with idiots, go figure	(51)
(Some Guy)	"Any physicist will tell you that the Macintosh is the way to go, especially if you need to run both new apps and old UNIX programs." Suck it, arts grad PC users	(118)
	Windows 7 beta leaked to media early. While the response has generally been positive, two groundskeepers from Cleveland remain unimpressed	(92)
	10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... and, um, 1 again	(32)
	Alternative medicine practitioners, soothsayers, astrologers and general assorted nutbags claim that town's new free wi-fi system is giving them pneumonia. That's ray-cist	(151)
(Halbot mail)	Obsessed nutbar builds a full scale replica of a Formula 1 racecar - out of wooden matchsticks	(28)
	"2008 was the year man-made global warming was disproved"	(286)
	After 15 years of being proven correct, Professor Samuel P. Huntington retires from being the smuggest man on the planet	(12)

Sat December 27, 2008

	10 HDTV myths the common idiot believes	(135)
	"While not the oddest fetish in Japan by a long way, there are some who travel the length of Japan enticed by the prospect of a compellingly designed manhole"	(99)
	U of Saskatchewan student completing PhD in how to save beer from going bad	(65)
(The Tripwire)	New RIAA tactic: sue chronically ill students so they can choose between being in court or getting medical care. You were too offended to submit this with a funnier headline	(165)
	How real men play videogames	(75)
	The survival of Borneo Sumatran rhinos depends on the sexual efforts of a bull named "Tam" who really doesn't understand farking	(19)
	"He would go get a sponge and do it privately," Dr. Mann says. "It was like he was cross-dressing in private -- an old man out there sponging by himself."	(12)
	11 stupidest things celebs said about science in the last year. Add your own nominations to the right	(158)

Fri December 26, 2008

		Pint of beer raises cancer risk by fifth, and a fifth a whole lot more	(72)
		New USGS study: Climate change happening faster than thought. On the bright side, that land you bought in Arizona is going to be ocean front property soon	(190)
		Scientists develop drug to make ones eyelashes longer. Apparently there is not enough profit in curing cancer	(38)
		Ten NASA inventions you may use everyday. Now STFU about Tang	(57)
		We think best when we aren't thinking	(46)
		How to reclaim your spinster barren womb	(32)
		New research reveals if you don't serve your precious little snowflakes breakfast every day, they'll start secksin' on you	(35)
		Mobile phone seizure an 'abuse of police powers', thought Blackberry was a donut	(198)
		Saturn goes commando	(23)
		Happy 23rd birthday, you gorgeous bastard	(47)

Thu December 25, 2008

		Psychologist identifies area of brain used to choose words. Discovery could lead to understanding of why some people have a way with words, and other people...um...oh, not have way, I guess	(64)
		Blogger saves Christmas	(45)
		Just like cell phones are fast replacing landlines in preference, notebook computers now outselling desktop versions... except for gamers who are still compensating for something with their enormous monitors	(127)
		Despite the sluggish global economy, video game sales remained recession-proof in 2008. Subby wonders if it's too late to learn how to be a video game developer	(41)
		OMG WTF. Jane and Sarah aren't BFFs anymore. I heard she unfriended her. That makes me ROFLMAOOL	(43)
		New Utah space telescope will help astronomers see the beginning of the universe, over 6,000 years in the past	(24)
		♫ When you're strapped into place to get shot into space, that's in Moray ♪	(13)
		"The kiwi is to New Zealanders what the bald eagle is to Americans. When all of a sudden you're talking about kiwi becoming extinct in our lifetime, it's a bit scary really." Even if it's a disgusting, hairy fruit	(34)
		Australia evaluates bids to build national Internet network. Yes, it will be a LAN down under	(32)
		"It caught my attention because it looked like it had four eyes, and vertebrates with four eyes don't exist"	(24)
		Privatized spaceflight takes off	(24)

Wed December 24, 2008

	Being just 7 pounds overweight raises heart failure risk by 11%. So basically we're all farked	(116)
	Researchers find spirituality spot in brain. Or at least they believe so	(17)
	Geeks claim Obama is about to move into the Oval Basement. Fascinating	(63)
	40th anniversary of seeing the dark side of the moon. 30th anniversary of syncing it with the Wizard of Oz	(30)
	Best video games of 2008. Red-ring of blue-wiiwii-rays arguments to the right	(151)
	Blood sugar linked to Alzheimer's. Sex and Magick still being researched	(23)
	Introducing Gizmodo's "Who will replace Steve Jobs?" choose your own adventure. Whoops, you fell into a smug hole, turn to page 86	(15)
(Some Guy)	Two-thirds of all people will log on to the Internet on Christmas Day as the whole idea of 'family' gets really old really fast	(68)
(Some Guy)	Dogs proven more effective than pills, although they're much harder to swallow	(26)
	Animated timeline of the assembly of the International Space Station before it was destroyed by the great meteor storm of 2012	(42)
	Top ten space photos of 2008. Enough coolness to keep your hamburger fresh for a week	(21)
	Unsurprisingly, studies found that giving cocaine to bees makes them want to dance to crappy house music while babbling endlessly about nothing and spending unreasonable amounts of time in the bathroom	(74)

Tue December 23, 2008

	Zoologists and geneticists propose to repeal laws banning cousins from marrying. Thousands of Alabamians can't be wrong	(90)
	Mixing medication puts older patients at risk, entices robots	(20)
(Microsoft)	New "Microsoft Answers" site launched. Users amazed how many problems are solved by default "try rebooting" answer	(88)
	Easy to follow flow chart for the digital TV transition. Give it to your grandparents	(184)
	FDA warns against diet pills sold on internet because almost all contain powerful appetite suppressants. Wait, what?	(49)
	What do these five people have in common, other than having never set foot in your kitchen? They are Newsweek's five people who are changing the face of the internet	(16)
	Small Japanese town becomes tourist sensation due to independence from oil, deriving all its energy from wind, cow dung, wood chips, and solar panels	(20)
	The 10 best Wil Wheaton quotes. The story about Lard Ass strangely absent	(89)
	US unprepared for cyber attack, reporting a small percentage of Americans have robe, wizard hat within reach of computer	(26)
	9-year-old Indian girl becomes Microsoft Certified Professional. Coming up next: Techno-Sweatshops	(44)
	The top 5 amazing space discoveries in 2008 (Bonus: no slideshow)	(16)
	Our Steven Jobs, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy iPhone. Thy text message come, thy will be done, on earth as it is at Apple Headquarters	(16)
	Eight signs that Apple customers are no longer special	(119)
	Researchers develop 'liquid wood' to replace petroleum based plastics, create dirty jokes	(19)
	Some 69 year old loner who sits in his basement surfing the internet all day long just solved global warming. And his family and friends never thought he's make it past 10th level ranger	(129)
	Google decides to be like Homer Simpson	(24)
	The HDAM missile: The GPS enabled, hypersonic homing weapon for when you absolutely, positively have to blow the crap out of the other guy's radar	(25)
	Electric car accelerates 'faster than a Porsche'	(42)
	Chinese farmer builds robots in his spare time, working on a pod racer for his young slave next week	(20)
	At 41 mpg city / 36 mpg highway, America's official new most fuel efficient mid-size sedan is... a Toyota? A Honda? A Nissan? No, it's a Ford. Wait, what?	(123)
	Muslim creationist: "Show me one fossil that proves evolution." Science: head asplodes	(180)
	Egyptian archaeologists find pair of ancient tombs they say may lead to condo made of stone-a	(18)
	Apollo 8 astronauts remember how 40 years ago, they gave all of earth the Moon	(31)
	Creepy-ass giant woodlice arrive in Britain, search for Gelflings	(62)

Mon December 22, 2008

	Thank You, Porn	(54)
	VHS videotape format is dead at 32 after long illness. Will be buried in black plastic coffin, whereupon it will collect dust forevermore	(200)
	A Michigan State University scientist said that genes may influence popularity. A tight fitting halter top doesn't hurt either	(27)
	Saturn has been hitting the eggnog early this year (pics)	(16)
	Scientists do worldwide study to confirm what Farkers already knew: Jessica Alba is perfect	(46)
	Scientists discover that Earth's original ancestor was LUCA. No word on if he lived on second floor, lived upstairs from you, or if you seen him before	(111)
(KSL)	"Pregorexia" rising in women. Your fetus wants steak	(38)
	With another gadget from Star Trek:TNG available now, the holodeck can't be far behind	(51)
	Liposuction doctor powered his cars with human fat, inadvertently making the US the largest source of renewable energy in the world	(101)
	Rare disorder causes woman's heart to stop when she swallows, according to this article which WOMEN SHOULD NEVER BE ALLOWED TO SEE	(96)
	Scientists Wonder: Do people urinate more in the winter?? Still no cure for cancer	(14)
(Medical News Today)	Scientists finally explain why women think they can fit a 14-foot car into a 12-foot parking space	(38)
	From preperation to return, this is what the entire round trip for the Space Shuttle Endeavor looks like	(39)
	Uses for Google Earth: Finding pictures of hookers hanging out on the corner in Oakland, California or discovering previously unknown patches of forest. Whatever, hookers trump stupid trees	(14)
	Microsoft extends XP purchases ANOTHER four months on news that everyone is still not buying Vista	(145)
	Headline: Wikipedia new weapon in RCMP arsenal? Article: RCMP looks to implement wiki software [citation needed]	(23)
	Windows 7: The Linux killer	(245)
	Almost two-thirds of scientists are smart enough to know that talking to the FBI is never a good thing	(46)
	News: Members of congress still trying to save free wifi. Fark.com: By claiming racial discrimination	(5)
	After 26 years in business, EA finally does something right	(67)
	Canadian towns look at synthetic ice for hockey rinks, since water and cold are in short supply up there	(27)
(Some Guy)	Robot has the ability to recognize rooms, objects, people, but here's the most important part - it will bring you BEER	(13)
	The coolest double-wide you ever done see	(20)
	One small ISP's response to RIAA's internet service termination requests: Where do we send the bill for our lost revenue?	(68)
	The world's smallest karaoke machine is nearly small enough to fit where karaoke machines should go	(11)
	You are on a plane that has crashed and caught fire during takeoff. Do you: a) get the fark out of the burning plane before you die, b) get the fark out of the burning plane before you die, or c) update Twitter	(125)
	SUVs flip-flop from evil back to good, as doctors build third-world neonatal incubators from parts of old Toyota 4Runners	(6)
	Everything you wanted to know about jellyfish swarms but were afraid to ask for fear of getting stung by a jellyfish	(18)
	Research shows space is closer than we thought; Ensign Lefler still out of your reach	(31)
	2009 will be the year of the Linux desktop revolution. Seriously. No, really. The last eleven times we said that were different. This time it's for real. Come on, stop laughing	(188)
	Commercial space flight takes a giant leap for mankind today	(20)