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(Headline T-Shirts are still available for archive links.)
Sun December 14, 2008
(MDN) Interesting Japanese schoolgirl finds 130 million-year-old fossil, sells it her underwear (37)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Protip: when stealing something, if you leave behind another something that will wirelessly connect to the first sometime at a range of only 30 feet, make sure you don't live in the same building (30)
(PCWorld) Obvious Windows XP is to Microsoft as AIDS is to people (81)
(Tech Crunch) Spiffy Microsoft releases iPhone app that lets you infinitely zoom on images. The period at the end of the previous sentence is actually a tiny picture of people fornicating (20)
(C|Net) Interesting YouTube now lets visitors turn videos into greeting cards. Internet prepares for resurgence of Chris Crocker, sneezing Panda, and serious gopher (9)
(Silicon Alley Insider) Fail "The bottom line is people don't own Blu-ray players, people aren't planning to buy Blu-ray players, and at least 20% of people who own a PS3 don't even know they have a Blu-ray player" (135)
(ABC News) Fail An absolutely worthless scientific study about the effects of hot drinks on cold symptoms proves nothing (15)
(TechEBlog) Weird Japanese engineer builds self-balancing robot table that delivers food, plays music, creeps you the hell out (27)
(PhysOrg.com) Interesting Scientists asks, what if dark matter isn't WIMPs? What if dark matter is made of Chuck Norris particles that want to kick our quantum asses? What then? (48)
(Computerworld) Obvious Why we'll never see a Zune phone: Because MicroSoft isn't smart enough to make them (47)
(National Geographic) Cool National Geographic's top-10 viewed photo galleries of 2008. Yeah, this one fits the tag (32)
(Gizmodo) Cool Next generation Walkman to have an OLED touch screen, wi-fi, 32gb, and integrated browser. Smug will be optional (40)
(EFF) Scary Obama's open government policy reveals that the MPAA confused itself with the NSA and asked if they could sniff every packet on the internet to find copyright violators (62)

Sat December 13, 2008
(Telegraph) Cool What a tangled web he weaves when God tries to deceive. World's oldest spider web found in England (24)
(Telegraph) Weird Life imitates xkcd, again, as an American woman becomes the first person to successfully implement the Trans-Consciousness Messaging Protocol (41)
(Some Goy) Spiffy No. Limit. Texas. Dreidel. (Because "Oy" is just "Yo" spelled backwards) (12)
(Wired) Cool The coolest PC you've ever seen. Literally (53)
(More Intelligent Life) Obvious Religious couples have more children. Does this mean belief increases fertility, does having a big family cause people to be more religious, or do people simply mistake vaginas for clown cars? (87)
(Some Guy) Hero Andy Grove, Silicon Valley super-genius without whom you would not be reading this, plans to do something Detroit hasn't done since Henry Ford invented the assembly line, INNOVATE the auto industry (33)
(Gizmodo) Scary Researchers read images from brain's visual cortex & display on computer screen. This won't end well (46)
(Some Guy) PSA The Geminids meteor shower begins this weekend in the east to southeast sky. Go out and take a look - Fark will still be here when you get back (31)
(Some Guy) Interesting Technology may halt police pursuits, biatchin' live news video (32)
(Jalopnik) Cool American automaker builds hybrid with better fuel economy than Toyota, annoyingly confounds conventional wisdom (63)
(TechEBlog) Cool Formula 1 car gets driven through the streets of Brazil, survives (20)
(Telegraph) Interesting Top 10 medical breakthroughs of 2008. Still no cure for cancer (20)
(Some Guy) Obvious Newest Star Trek time travel, explained for dummies. It's not like it's quantum physics or anything (133)

Fri December 12, 2008
(CNN) Amusing Apple eases their sphincter on the iPhone fart app (38)
(io9) Cool Dawson's Creek reunion slated for Fringe. No word about Top Gun reunion on Heroes with Tom Cruise as the "big reveal" (20)
(MediaMemo) Obvious Please come back, Sarah Palin: Traffic to web video site Hulu drops in November (72)
(Silicon Alley Insider) Asinine Patent troll claims to have invented Second Life in 1995. Funny, most people these days pretend to have never heard of it (43)
(UPI) Interesting New study finds magnet-swallowing is linked to autism. Was previously considered a bipolar disorder  T-Shirt (136)
(Some Bloke) Interesting Oldest British brain discovered, made into a pot pie and consumed with a pint (53)
(The Retroist) Misc Back in 1983 a book was published called "Letters to E.T." Here is a selection. Bonus: Speilberg grabbing E.T.'s boob (34)
(Yahoo) Obvious As Yahoo tanks, Flickr employees are getting fird (20)
(NCBuy) Unlikely Headline: "Some YouTube Posters Make Six Figure Incomes." Article: One guy claims to be making that much on advertising in his viral videos. It's not news, it's bullshiat (20)
(The Consumerist) Stupid Got a broken "P" on your laptop? No problem, just send it to HP for repairs and they will wipe out your entire hard drive. Wait, What? (106)
(Silicon Alley Insider) Obvious 46 percent of women and 100% of submitter's wives prefer the Internet to sex (471)
(Cincinnati Enquirer) Interesting Big Bone to become national landmark if approved by the Interior (10)
(Boing Boing) Scary MPAA to Obama: censor the Internet, kick people off the Internet, break other countries' Internet (142)
(Gizmodo) Weird Now witness the firepower of this fully armed and operational robot dog (36)
(Telegraph) Cool Japan + busy Tokyo station = 100% eco-friendly Christmas tree lights (29)
(Some Guy) Interesting A gene mutation found among the Amish may hold to key to stopping the lardassification of America (48)
(Wired) Interesting Video games stimulate seniors' mental prowess. Your grandfather wants more farmers' markets in Grand Theft Auto (12)
(GaTech Phi Kappa Theta) Cool Some pool playing geeks use a webcam and laser pointers to show the perfect shot (62)

Thu December 11, 2008
(National Geographic) Interesting The biggest, brightest full moon of 2008 will be on Friday because it's closer to earth than it has been since 1993. Scientists say we can expect increased ocean tides and 'Dumbass' tags (110)
(NASA) Interesting Dimmest twin stars ever discovered. Surprisingly, not an article about Mary-Kate and Ashley (17)
(C|Net) Spiffy Google's Chrome browser is out of beta today (47)
(STLToday) Cool Giving some women with breast cancer estrogen can trick tumors into submission. CANCER IS A MAN (6)
(Globe and Mail) Cool Move over, Kari Byron. Farkers, bow to your new redheaded nerd girl overlord (166)
(Guardian.com) Interesting Dick Hardt thrusts his way into Microsoft. Giggity (4)
(Fox News) Interesting Scientists discover that men have reddish faces and women have greenish faces. Now there's finally a way to differentiate the sexes (31)
(MediaMemo) Interesting Web 2.0 not dead yet: Trendy, revenue-free blog service Tumblr raises more money, makes 22-year-old CEO even richer on paper (20)
(Some Noob) Amusing World of Warcraft restaurant opens in China. No word on what attunements are needed to enter (82)
(Some Guy) Sad Gaming website you forgot about is buying gaming website you thought went out of business (52)
(Google) Scary Hong Kong finds H5N1 at poultry farm. No word on C3PO, R2D2 (20)
(UPI) Spiffy To prevent teens from talking on the phone or texting while driving researchers in Utah have created an ignition key for cars that can block the driver's cell phone signal (71)
(PhysOrg.com) Interesting Blue streetlights may prevent crime, suicide. Its a streetlight (39)
(Reuters) Cool Archeologists strike gold and find myrrh artifacts from Jesus' time, including things used to incense (38)
(BBC) Obvious Warning that nut allergy 'hysteria' serves no purpose other than inspiring numerous Fark headlines (188)
(Information Week) Cool Intel finishes work on new 32 nanometer production process. That is one tiny factory (54)
(Reuters) Cool Atari is acquiring other studios in hopes of staging a comeback. In other news, Atari is still in business? (51)
(BBC) Interesting Astronomers have found a hot planet that is retaining water, can only observe it three weeks out of the month because it gets unbelievably biatchy (58)
(PhysOrg.com) Interesting Japanese researchers develop brain imaging system which could record videos of people's dreams, opening up a whole new revenue stream for the MPAA's copyright lawyers (47)
(TechEBlog) Weird Weird Head Refresher offers 234 stimulating points, is surprisingly not a torture device (14)
(Seattle Times) Interesting Religious groups jump at LoJack's offer to install free theft tracking systems on Baby Jesus in their nativity scenes. Three wise men will be equipped with Garmin navigators programmed to the OnStar of Bethlehem (61)
(News.com.au) Interesting If you want to increase your chances of getting laid, always hit on the youngest sister. Here comes the science (46)
(Gizmodo) Interesting World's first offically "African American" web browser introduced; Notable features include attractive design, successful networking (131)
(Some Guy) Cool Transformers... Nikes in disguise (25)

Wed December 10, 2008
(Kotaku) Cool Happy 15th birthday, Doom. You're now older than the average Halo player (119)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Austin middle school teacher confiscates Linux discs from pupil. "No software is free and spreading that misconception is harmful." (155)
(Yahoo) Spiffy A US District Court orders two companies to stop marketing their shiatty software with scary pop-ups claiming your computer has a virus, FTC moves to recover money for suckers who bought the software (70)
(The Register) Cool Obama urged to appoint chief of cybersecurity, but job description of "an IT geek, good public speaker, not addicted to Warcraft" yielding no successful candidates (39)
(ManBearPig) Cool Umm, yeah...about that global warming consensus thingie (479)
(Gizmodo) Asinine R u out there aliens? pls dont probe n e 1 i like LOL ;-) (17)
(UPI) Strange Top 10 Google searches in Canada include "Facebook", "YouTube", Hotmail", "Yahoo", and "Google" (63)
(The Sun) Interesting A scientist has invented his idea of the perfect woman - a female robot. Yes, he's as nerdy as you imagine and no word if she has guns in her jumblies (226)
(AFP) Interesting One-fifth of the world's coral is already dead. That's quite atoll (185)
(MSNBC) PSA One third of teen boys and one quarter of teen girls are pedophiles (276)
(ABC News) Unlikely The forecasters have pulled the 2009 numbers out of their asses and say there will be seven hurricanes next year (38)
(IndyStar) Sick Three quarters of the passengers on a scenic German river cruise come down with norovirus, or as they call it in Germany "brechdurchfall". Let Google translate that for you (132)
(London Times) Interesting Palin wins the only contest that really matters: Google's Zeitgeist Charts (15)
(Some Guy) Interesting You can't hide from Google. You can never hide from Google. Unless you live in rural SD or southwest Minnesota. FOR NOW (36)
(The Local (Germany)) Cool German doctor to receive Nobel prize for his work in ensuring teen promiscuity (34)
(UPI) Fail Australian astronomer says Christ was born in June and not December. Next thing you know the aussies will tell you is that June is in winter (126)
(AFP) Interesting Life found on another planet. I, for one, welcome our farting overlords (81)
(MSNBC) Fail Study: all those expensive vitamin supplements you've been stuffing down your throat every day in a vain attempt to improve your health and avoid cancer? Yeah, not so much (177)

Tue December 09, 2008
(Gizmodo) Cool Old Hotness: Cooling with Electricity. New Coolness: Cooling with Fire (41)
(MSNBC) Obvious US math and science scores have increased from F- to F (67)
(Kotaku) Spiffy Bush now has a new way to track down terrorists, if he could just find that damn anykey (16)
(Some Guy) Spiffy The mouse is 40 today. Here's some highlights from its history (23)
(BBC) Interesting Giant black hole confirmed at centre of Milky Way. That sucks (w/ awesomely scientific Photoshop illustration) (78)
(C|Net) Asinine Microsoft tired of being blamed for poor security. In unrelated news 6 new critical security updates released (42)
(Think Progress) Asinine EPA admin on Religion And Science: "It's not a clean-cut division." (151)
(Google Watch) Stupid MySpace responds to Google and Facebook with MySpaceID, which includes such prestigious partners as AOL, Flock, Eventful, Flixster, and Yoono, ensuring its failure within the week (16)
(Telegraph) Interesting Apple rumored to be going DRM-free today. Fanboys everywhere rejoice that they'll be able to play their music on, well, still just iPods (194)
(Telegraph) Obvious The 10 stupidest predictions about IT of all time. Bill Gates tops the list, and not just for saying he thought Vista was a good idea (77)
(N Queensland) Interesting The first cow says, "Artificial insemination? I don't believe it." The second cow says, "It's true. Straight up. No bull." (14)
(ZDNet) Followup "Virgin Killer" Wikipedia entry has detractors claiming the site is a repository of smut, unreferenced information and otherwise has no educational value. [citation needed] (45)
(Wired) Obvious Websites keep online content free by selling T-shirts. Wouldn't this look ironic on one?  T-Shirt (35)
(Gizmodo) Cool Hovering Multiple Kill Vehicle test video is exactly as cool and scary as it sounds, would make Ronald Reagan and Darth Vader happy (76)
(The Local (Sweden)) Weird Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring exploding phone (40)
(Houston Chronicle) Scary And he spake: "The digital apocalypse shall strike Houston thrice, for five minutes at a time, and there shall be mayhem and panic" (16)
(NYPost) Asinine FDA rejects company's design for "Palm Pistol", a 9mm weapon for use by the elderly. Yes, they wanted to classify it as a "medical device" and make Medicare pay for it (46)
(TechEBlog) Weird Everyone poops, even the Tomy Xiao TIP-521 camera (19)
(Labspaces.net) Interesting "Light" cigarettes are more toxic than "full-flavored" ones. Next week's study: Fresh air is instantly lethal (26)
(Gizmodo) Cool Here's your flying car (49)
(BBC) Obvious Much like a middle-aged businessman on a Tokyo train, happiness rubs off on others (20)
(Daily Mail) Obvious "Adults could benefit from taking Ritalin to boost their brainpower." You submitted this with a lamer headline because you're not snorting that sweet wonder drug (33)
(AP) Interesting Scientists say eating nuts prevents heart disease. Your mom projected to live forever (41)
(Seattle Times) Interesting If you weren't concerned about the digital switchover because your older TV is on cable, does Comcast have a surprise for you (97)

Mon December 08, 2008
(TampaBays10.com) Interesting The Pulitzer Prize board changes rules to make online news organizations and more Internet content eligible. [citation needed] (40)
(MotorTrend) Amusing Star Wars fans salivate over this Honda concept car that looks like a Clone Trooper helment, dreaming of Mom dropping them off at LARPing events and being the envy of everyone (167)
(The Earth Times) Interesting Coming up next, is high-fructose corn syrup responsible for making you fat? A new study reveals that no, it is not (245)
(National Geographic) Weird Pre-Columbian tribes had BBQs, parties on grave sites, and drank maize beer (mmmm, maize beer) (26)
(AP) Obvious Scientists discover that ALL your dogs want meat. Still no cure for cancer ... Bonus name of research institute in Austria (21)
(AZCentral) Strange Scientists now say we came from asteroids. This just in: monkeys becoming extremely agitated (257)
(Some Guy) Obvious Fiat unveils solar-powered car that can be pushed by three friends from zero to 30 miles per hour in six seconds (32)
(Guardian.com) Asinine Brits decide that filtering Wikipedia was too harsh, lift ban on site. HAHAHA just kidding, they want to censor Amazon too (190)
(BBC) Cool New population of endangered ugly-ass monkeys found in Vietnam (8)
(SFGate) Interesting On this day in 1968, the first PC was publicly demonstrated. That's 40 years of progress, from a pine-box mouse to Caturday (20)
(Sci Fi) Cool In the lead-up to Battlestar Galactica's season premier, Scifi releases a new extended 'Catch the Frak Up' video (62)
(Yahoo) Obvious When shopping "online," there are these things called "coupon codes" and Romero tells you they're available on this thing called the "Internet" (16)
(Sci Fi) Cool If you're a fan of science fiction, fantasy or horror, Forest Ackerman influenced you more than you can ever know. Here's 25 reasons how (40)
(Reuters) Interesting Wal-Mart to sell ultra cheap iPhone for $99. I felt a great disturbance, as if millions of smug elitist Apple fanboy voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced (70)
(Silicon Alley Insider) Unlikely Facebook dorks still think their site is worth $15 billion. CFO apparently moonlights as police advisor, valuating their pot busts (20)
(afterdawn.com) Sad RIAA set to apologize for all their senseless lawsuits. Just kidding, they have now sued a terminally ill teenager that lives in a hospital and needs a transplant (150)
(Nested Universe) Interesting Five inventions inspired by science fiction, or, why you should blame the Kindle on Douglas Adams (44)
(Wired) Silly How the virtual Gold Trade Works. |2 0 |\| | 4 |_| |_ (48)
(Ars Technica) Dumbass One of the five FCC commisioners: DRM is "very effective," ISP filtering is a Great Leap Forward, and a government partnership with the RIAA to "educate" schoolkids is a fantastic idea (80)
(AFP) Interesting The future includes plastic jeans, denim paper, waste allocation load lifters (presumably in the earth class) (18)
(PhysOrg.com) Spiffy When it comes to spiders, smaller is better for getting some of that spider lovin' (15)
(The Earth Times) Unlikely Internet enthusiasm cooling, says German futurologist. It will go the way of the telephone, television and Betamax as interest wanes (30)
(SFGate) Obvious Debate grows over safety of "brain steroids". Doctors worried they may shrink "brain testicles" (33)
(Gizmodo) Interesting Ever wondered what else your telephone keypad might have looked like? Here are the runners-up anyway (30)
(UPI) Spiffy China nearing completion of high-speed rail line between Beijing and Shanghai. Will cut normal travel time in half, give Jackie Chan a readymade stunt set for Rush Hour 4 (12)

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