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Sun December 07, 2008
(UPI) Asinine Mom bans her son from playing Nintendo's Scrabble because she doesn't want him to know that "tits" is a word. Um, mom...he already knows (86)
(Examiner) Unlikely Is PC gaming dying? (174)
(ZDNet) Spiffy "Roasted laptops, panthers savaging memory sticks and angry fishermen throwing computers overboard top the list of the year's weirdest computing disasters" (13)
(PCWorld) Dumbass Pro net neutrality analyst calls Google "a bandwidth hog". Analyst suddenly finds that his Google search results are only "helpful", no longer "very helpful." Devious snickering heard deep within Google headquarters (29)
(Some Guy) Silly UK demonstrates superiority of its space program, sends teddy bears 30km above the Earth (22)
(Independent) Scary Pollution causes smaller penises. Vicious cycle for Hummer drivers (128)
(Wired) Interesting A dozen abominations unto God that will survive us all (55)
(London Times) Interesting Researchers devise mathematical formula for procrastinators to work out their chances of overcoming their weakness. You would have gotten around to this... eventually. The science can wait until tomorrow (30)
(G4TV) Ironic X-Play: if Gears of War had a cereal. Words cannot describe this video (61)

Sat December 06, 2008
(Some Guy) Interesting You can't re-invent the wheel...*hand to ear* Oh, okay, I've just been told they have re-invented the wheel (75)
(Media Channel) Amusing China requiring internet cafes to switch from Windows XP to Linux. Requirement to switch from Vista deemed unnecessary (40)
(Gawker) Scary Scientists at Berkeley hook wires up to a bunch of 9- and 10-year-old rich and poor kids and discover that the poor ones might as well have been hit over the head with a shovel. Grape soda and Cheetos are blamed (106)
(Ars Technica) Stupid Technology-clueless Australian politicians think they can force ISPs to filter out all porn. Australian hackers already doing a national ROTFL (30)
(Yahoo) Interesting Microsoft taps former Yahoo exec to lead Web business. Bow chicka bow wow (13)
(Yahoo) Scary Heart attack patients get "big chill" treatment. Let's hope not the same kind Kevin Costner got (8)
(TechEBlog) Interesting Engineers unveil Smartbolt, uses indicator to let you know when to stop tightening. Old method of shearing the head off and cursing for two hours no longer recommended (47)
(UPI) Stupid A pointy rock on the floor of a cave may suggest climate was the cause of the Roman Empire collapsing (94)
(Komo) Cool Alien ships masked by clouds approach Mt. Rainer (pics) (75)
(LA Times) Sad Sci-bye (56)
(io9) Cool Coolest picture of the 100,000-star globular cluster M13 you'll see all day (34)

Fri December 05, 2008
(Yahoo) Obvious The "perfect family" found to be an inaccurate portrayal of typical households. Your step-dads agree (43)
(News.com.au) Cool Car maker unveils a vehicle powered by household garbage. However, it can only reach 88 mph (63)
(YouTube) Obvious Screw Best Buy. If you grew up in L.A., you know what the best electronics store really is (91)
(ABC News) Obvious Woman divorces husband so she can afford life-saving cancer surgery, but must endure jokes about how she already got rid of a 200-pound tumor (pic) (105)
(Investor's Business Daily) Cool US military's megawatt-class airborne laser passes another test, will soon demonstrate its destructive powers against Alderaan (45)
(Breitbart.com) Interesting China successfully launches "hybrid" rocket. It was crossed with a poodle, which makes it a rocketdoodle (70)
(ScienceBlogs) Interesting Scientists learn that this bird does not fit into the "tastes like chicken" clade because it is poisonous (32)
(Guardian.com) Cool 2008 is the coolest year of the decade according to climate scientists. 2001 voted most uncool (255)
(MSN) Spiffy New study suggest video games can OMG look what my friend can do with his thumb, it's so cool (17)
(Chicago Tribune) Obvious New Punisher movie gets only 2 stars. No, this is not a repeat from 1989 and 2004 (93)
(SMH) Obvious BlackBerry Storm has more bugs than Tara Reid's RID comb (112)
(Some Guy) Silly Why Sony and Microsoft can ignore Nintendo. Same reason oven-makers can ignore microwaves, it seems (304)
(The New York Times) Sad H. M., the famous amnesiac you remember from Intro to Psych, has died at 82. Or maybe you forgot (50)
(Gizmodo) Amusing Second hand mp3s, one careful user, still sound as good as new (54)
(PhysOrg.com) Obvious Science proves that the myth about dirty old men is in fact, fact. It's true. You're a dirty old man. And the scientists recommend that you admit it. Glory in it. Delve deep down in the gooey goodness of your filthy brain (51)
(USA Today) Cool Your two favorite things return (49)

Thu December 04, 2008
(The Scotsman) Interesting New research finds that if one person sneezes in a public place, 150 people will get sick (32)
(Canada.com) Scary Following drug complications, Canadian woman loses her ... skin? The tag was invented for stuff like this (43)
(Nature) Interesting Old and busted: Warm temperatures cause tundra to expel greenhouse gasses. New hotness: cold temperatures cause tundra to expel greenhouse gasses (80)
(NASA) Spiffy Astronomers from Caltech and NASA are predicting a near-storm of Leonids in 2009 based on a surprising outburst of meteors just two weeks ago (20)
(Live Science) Obvious Scientists discover threat of punishment works over the long run, cite lack of Phil Spector articles submitted to the Fark queue as evidence (17)
(Some Guy) Cool The iPod touch: it's just what the Doctor ordered (25)
(The Industry Standard) Spiffy Facebook launches universal login program. I, for one, submit to my new username/password overlords. (With extra bonus Drew quote) (38)
(PCWorld) Dumbass Apple: "We have a ton of iPod shuffles in stock." Consumer: "iPod shuffles are lame." Apple: "Just kidding, we're running out of them because they're so popular." Consumer: "OMG I NEED THREE" (132)
(Some Guy) Cool Coolest photos of jets breaking the sound barrier you will see all day (87)
(Discover) Followup NASA has decided to wait another 2 years before creating its next crater on the face of Mars (19)
(Science Blogs) Asinine CNN shutters their space, science and tech unit, presumably to make room for their burgeoning "hot missing white girl" and "celebrity sports criminal" teams (36)
(Wonkette) Dumbass Obama's lack of experience is causing poor judgement on major decisions. He owns a Zune (58)
(Washington Post) Cool Robotic device could help stroke patients. Giggity (22)
(Daily Pennsylvanian) Obvious Psych 101 students assigned to stand outside and see if students congregate by race, which turns out they do. Apparently only on TV and in movies do white people have a sassy black best friend (71)
(Chicago Tribune) Spiffy Chicago Transit Authority shows off new hybrid buses they claim "belch less emissions". People who have ridden next to fans after a Bears game disagree (17)
(St. Petersburg Times) Scary Spam emails up the ante: "I was paid to eliminate you and I have to do it within 10 days. ... I might just spare your life, $8,000 is all you need to spend" (135)
(Space) Interesting NASA explains how to drink space urine. It's really no different from drinking Pabst (29)
(Washington Post) Interesting Kansas chosen as the site for a new biodefense facility despite repeated claims that prayer, intelligent design and protesting funerals are not proven to produce anthrax (120)
(MSNBC) Cool First solar-powered car to travel around the world ended its journey today. Suck it, wind (25)
(Some Guy) Interesting Interview with Gene Roddenberry shortly before he died, in which he reveals Spock was supposed to be a midget and Kirk should never meet Picard (62)
(TechRepublic) Cool List of classic science fiction novels and where they are in the process of having Hollywood horribly mangle them on the big screen (210)
(London Times) Hero He had a golden nose, a pet dwarf, and made sure his moose was always drunk. Tycho Brahe: Living every Farker's dream lifestyle since 1546 (111)
(Engadget) Interesting IPhone sales smugly exceed those of Windows Mobile devices for the first time (81)
(The Inquirer) Asinine Wikipedia gets $890K grant to lure new writers, to possibly "stick a bullet between the eyes of fake penis expert editors who have chips on their shoulders" (18)
(Gizmodo) Interesting Before the age of the Internet, you'd have to be in a secret society in order to own this (51)
(Science Daily) Interesting The heart of the Centauri republic has been found (54)
(Some Guy) Cool Researchers are working on a cell phone battery that charges simply by your talking, eliminating the need for you to shut the fark up (18)
(Some Guy) Strange Illinois egg donor agencies offer country's first guarantee. Kind of a double-your-chromosomes-back sort of deal (35)
(The New York Times) Obvious 70% of viewers watch some TV shows online and 8% watch TV shows solely online. This whole internet thing...it might be catching on (49)
(Reuters) Obvious CNN chucks space, science and technology coverage in favor of more farktards strapping themselves to palm trees (28)
(Daily Mail) Strange Super ants to invade UK gardens. EVERYBODY PICNIC (48)

Wed December 03, 2008
(Washington Post) Obvious No, you can't really grow a Shakey's Pizza with them (24)
(BBC) Cool Logitech serves one billionth mouse (37)
(Some psychologist) Silly Scientists putting in long hours of "research" discover different cultures use different gestures to order beer (13)
(Wired) Cool Supernova first seen 400 years ago is now visible again, thanks to reflection from cosmic dust cloud (w/ awesome pic) (40)
(C|Net) Interesting IPod shortage spreading. EVERiBODY iPANIC (44)
(Sports by Brooks) Cool NBA confirms at least one Transformer was made in China (with pics) (17)
(C|Net) Scary McDonald's: now clogging both your arteries and your inbox (16)
(Cleveland) Stupid Cleveland television meterologist thinks global warming is a fraud. That settles it, then (356)
(Sci Fi) Interesting To your left, an article explaining that Watchmen movie will be shorter than originally intended. To your right, a bunch of pissed off geeks (93)
(iF Magazine) Interesting "Jonah Hex" the next comic book movie adaptation ... prompting everyone to say "What the fark is Jonah Hex?" (53)
(AP) Interesting Scientists ask: Is our brains relearning? (21)
(Discovery) Weird Organisms have sex in your nose (39)
(Yahoo) Unlikely Best female figure not the hourglass body, big boobs, tiny waist, curvy hip type, says presumably unattractive anthropolgist (97)
(Chud) Cool Atari announces return to Baldur's Gate. Miniature giant space hamsters spin wheels in celebration (84)
(Kotaku) Strange The sheep in Animal Crossing hate whitey (29)
(Wired) Fail Just in time for the holidays, a $600 car-based GPS that takes 10 minutes to sync and has a year-old POI database (24)
(BBC) Asinine Scientific interpretation: Known availability suggests higher probability though we still don't... Media Interpretation: OMFG WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE (45)
(Silicon Alley Insider) Unlikely Twitter's secret business model on track for Q1 (18)
(Gizmodo) Stupid Apple, that pinnacle of marketing genius, decides to go with the "If you trusted us, it's your own fault" defense (63)
(Network World) Followup Apple removes antivirus support page (44)
(Aint-It-Cool-News) Cool Two minutes of the LOST season opener... which breaks down to 120 seconds... which equals 108 + 4 + 8... MY GOD, IT ALL MAKES SENSE (122)
(Cracked) Amusing The 6 most retarded gaming consoles ever released (156)
(dark horizons) Followup The Justice League movie that was greenlit, on-hold because of the strike, fast-tracked, shelved indefinitely, reinstated, then on hold again without George Miller is now back on track, with George Miller (25)
(Daily Mail) Obvious NASA reports finding tree on Mars. Conspiracy theorists are on this one like a fat kid on a donut, already insisting that this is the kind of information that could get someone killed (pic) (84)
(Yahoo) PSA Microsoft opens up Vista SP2 beta. I, for one, welcome our new Overlords of Suck (163)
(Esquire) Interesting Self-mending rubber will build unbreakable roads, prevent your girlfriend from needle-pricking the condoms (34)
(TechEBlog) Weird Weird VideoMan suit turns you into walking home theater, douchebag (8)
(PhysOrg.com) Unlikely Researchers say Star Wars-like 3D display could be on the shelves by 2018. Also, Paris Hilton will join a convent, and the Buffalo Bills will win the Super Bowl. Twice (25)
(The Sun) Cool The Aerocar, the world's first aeroplane that can be legally driven on US roads, is up for sale on eBay. We need a WANT tag (38)

Tue December 02, 2008
(BBC) Scary Scientist warns that the world must prepare for threat of asteroids, develop anti-Frogger technology (17)
(My Fox Tampa Bay) Spiffy Hot Florida teacher to be launched into orbit this Sunday: "I'm a thrill-seeker deep down." SFW (39)
(MSNBC) Obvious New study shows brand name drugs are no better than generics. Pshaw, next they'll be telling us that expensive bottled water is no better than the cheap distilled stuff (53)
(BBC) Spiffy OMG WTF? U wnt me 2 cut off hiz arm? LOL (28)
(Live Science) Obvious People who eat at all-you-can-eat buffets are likely fat & rude (57)
(Some Guy) Cool The new Ghostbusters game that was on then off then cancelled then not cancelled now has a release date (37)
(MSNBC) Fail The eleven lamest blogs on the Internet. No, yours isn't on the list. So at least you have that going for you (50)
(London Times) Interesting New breakthrough in managing chronic pain: Looking the wrong way through binoculars. Includes helpful photo of man looking through binoculars the correct way (14)
(Yahoo) Video When making a video about increased greenhouse gas emissions, it's important to include nuclear reactor cooling towers spewing all those greenhouse gases (94)
(kfbk) Obvious Study finds smoking while pregnant is bad for the baby, hitting your thumb with a hammer hurts (16)
(London Times) Scary Up to 40% of patients in "vegetative state" are misdiagnosed and actually fully awake, but unable to speak or move. Pleasant dreams (51)
(Yahoo) Obvious Murdoch biographer on MySpace: "If you're on MySpace now, you're a farking cretin. And you're not only a farking cretin, but you're poor" (36)
(Gizmodo) Fail Windows Vista is so awesome that people are buying used computers to salvage Windows XP licenses (117)
(New Scientist) Interesting Ten ways to save the world. Saving the cheerleader strangley absent (45)
(Nature) Interesting Another day, another proof by science that God is trying to trick you into believing in evolution of turtles (250)
(Science Daily) Interesting Scientists use wine to measure increase in CO2 over time, seduce students (16)
(Some Guy) Obvious Apple now recommends virus-scanning software for Macs. Where is your Jobs now? (105)
(CNN) Scary Airport security looking to use brain mapping instead of metal detectors, so if you're a prospective criminal you may wish to change your mind (40)
(Yahoo) Interesting Scientists prove the science behind Freaky Friday. Still no cure for bad remakes of bad movies (19)
(BBC) Spiffy Scientists develop "time-bending drug" to counteract jet lag. Dr. Who unimpressed (53)
(Science Daily) Interesting New study confirms that cars have personalities, and as anyone who has ever owned a Volvo can attest, some of them can be complete biatches (52)
(CNN) Cool As a senior citizen, you're probably aware of the threat robots pose. Robots are everywhere, and they eat old people's medicine for fuel (15)
(News.com.au) Interesting You are what your mother eats. So, if you turn out to be a bit of a dick, you know why (86)
(Telegraph) Cool This man is a mad genius - on a small scale (22)
(Huffington Post) Cool Prehistoric Earth looked like the airbrushed mural on the side of your uncle's van (pic) (66)
(Gizmodo) Cool 10 best crazy bike pictures you will see today (24)

Mon December 01, 2008
(New Scientist) Asinine New patent application for hurricane deflation machine involves flying jets in circles agianst the wind inside a hurricane...just like when Superman flew circles around the earth and turned back time (157)
(C|Net) Cool A beer dispenser with LCD screens? It's more awesome than you think (16)
(Gizmodo) Silly 300-year-old German sketch proves Microsoft will one day create a time machine and visit 1697 (28)
(Network World) Obvious Cell phone more distracting/dangerous than won't-shut-up passenger, study shows, but at least you can toss the phone out the window (16)
(Silicon Alley Insider) Video The Simpsons Parodies The Apple Store (79)
(Yahoo) Obvious Spears, wrestling, Obama lead Yahoo's top 10 searches, Fox Reality producers' wish list  T-Shirt (42)
(BBC) Interesting Antioxidants do not slow aging. In nematode worms. Scientists claim the hardest part of this survey was smearing the cream on the worm's faces (18)
(Yahoo) Interesting Scientists discover that some brains are wired for change. Next up, are some brains wired for hope? (10)
(Telegraph) Interesting Pentagon to build robot soldiers that won't commit war crimes. They will feel no pity, no remorse, no fear. And they will not stop EVER, until you are safely apprehended and turned over to the proper authorities (48)
(BBC) Scary With a proven track record in safety and quality control, China moves into the commercial aircraft business (71)
(BBC) Amusing Three words: Pole Dancing Robots (42)
(Channel Web) Cool Top 10 Tech Disasters from 2008. "Cool" Tag because there is no "Cuil" tag (40)
(TechEBlog) Cool Finally, somebody implements Java successfully in Windows XP (32)
(Wired) Cool Scientists - making everything you own obsolete, one accident at a time (21)
(Wired) Interesting If you have a problem. If no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire, The Geek A Team (16)
(GameDaily) Interesting Scientists finds that kids who play "Rock Band" are more motivated to play real musical instruments. In other news, the Department of Health is releasing their new title "Get Off The Couch, Fatass" hoping for similar outcomes (43)
(The Firearm Blog) Cool What happens when you mix gamers with gun owners? A working chainsaw bayonet. (With video goodness) (68)
(Some Guy) Interesting A gallery illustrating the technology of tomorrow, as envisioned by the scientists and engineers of yesterday (89)

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