Drew Curtis' FARK.com -- Geek Archives for '2008-11-23 23:59:59'

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These links may be stale and generate errors. Can't do much about it. Tastes like chicken.

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Sun November 23, 2008

		U.S. Army developing robot bees to photograph, record, and attack insurgents and terrorists. The mother ship will be a robot dog that shoots the bees out of its mouth when it barks	(19)
		World's most powerful PC built in Britain. You know you want one (pics)	(70)
		Mutant chicken with full set of alligator-like teeth seen rampaging through Manchester, killing hundreds. State of Emergency declared in England	(30)
		Scientists have discovered the enzyme that causes cancer to build scaffolding to grow . Still no cure, but interesting	(13)
		Rodents of Unusual Size? I don't think they exist	(37)
		Watchdog demands viral 'Net marketers meet "same standards of truth" as traditional media so dimwits won't believe you can pop popcorn with a cell phone	(21)
		An engineering firm creates a Guitar Hero playing robot. I for one welcome our new guitar playing overlords	(28)
		Some current U.S. nuclear weapons still use vacuum tubes for circuits -- you know those glass bulb thingys grandpa used to pull out of the TV and go test at Radio Shack? Those	(111)
		Remains of devoured planet discovered. Galactus, Unicron sought for questioning	(49)

Sat November 22, 2008

(Crain's)	Pioneering computer publication PC Magazine surrenders to recession and plummeting advertising revenue, goes online-only	(54)
	Scientists invent light sabre to fight cancer. Still no cure for midichlorians	(19)
	Steve Ballmer ordered to testify in "Vista Capable" class-action lawsuit. Plaintiffs cover witness chair with absorbent cloths and brace for 3-hour chant of "DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS DEVELOPERS"	(34)
	While owning a Mac will increase a person's smugness, it unfortunately doesn't increase their intelligence	(74)
	Stock in 5 1/4" disk drive manufacturers soar on news that Pentagon has banned all flash drives	(66)
	So why does a NASA tool bag cost $100,000 anyway? Efficient government procurement	(65)
(Some Guy)	Richard Garriott's "Blank Slate" MMORPG soon to be "Empty Slate"	(68)
	10 gadgets that would have you say: Dude... wait, what?	(28)
	Somewhere in an undisclosed war zone, a Humvee is driving with the world's first working ray gun sitting in the back. And its name is Zeus	(41)

Fri November 21, 2008

	Geek turns his Wiimote into a theremin so he can play the Star Trek theme with it (w/ video)	(36)
	Google, the best thing to happen to your marriage since... aw, who's kidding, your marriage sucks	(21)
	Microsoft to aid in war on terror, builds software for DHS, offers free Vista to the bad guys	(26)
	Scotland celebrates arrival of first beaver in 400 years, builds special willow homes stocked with carrots and turnips in anticipation of their arrival	(14)
	Old and busted: My dog ate my cancer research. New hotness: Car thieves stole my laptop with my cancer research. Still no cure for cancer, people who don't back up their hard drives	(15)
	Guy uses Mercury Cougar to build incredible Audi R8 clone	(45)
	Gizmodo has a review of the Smugware 2.2 update for the iPhone. Conclusion? You need this	(49)
(WIOD)	" Florida Teen Commits Suicide Before Live Webcam Audience" Out of respect, FOX to wait 24 hours before announcing new reality show	(426)
	Study finds those who live in messy areas tend to have bad behavior. Entire population of New Jersey expected to be arrested soon	(140)
(TTAC)	Nissan realizes that including a setting that destroys the transmission and voids the warranty on your $90k car may not have been well thought out	(60)
	Great news: Scientists find immortal youth and cure for cancer. Fark: It may cause cancer	(67)
	Otter stuns conservationists by swimming to island 3 miles offshore, says he was just trying to put the jug band back together	(24)
	12 myths about how the Internet works that you couldn't care less about as long as it keeps churning out porn	(52)
	Government warns of "catastrophic" U.S. quake in Alabama, Arkansas, Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Mississippi, Missouri and Tennessee. Local ministers worry it might be too much like dancing	(78)
	24-year-old wins $2.4 million at the slots on her first trip to Vegas. That sound you hear is thousands of nicotine-stained, 75-year-old, glassy-eyed Vegas regulars wailing in unison	(43)
	Afghanistan finds a new crop to replace opium poppies. In other news, drug dealers hard at work figuring how to get people high off pomegranates	(29)

Thu November 20, 2008

		Skinny models are a turnoff in advertising, says a scientist who knows absolutely nothing about advertising	(487)
		Half of women subject to urinary infection. Submitter hopes it's the lower half	(108)
		Scammer made $3 million in illegal eBay sales. Or, after eBay and Paypal fees, $271	(86)
		Scientists rethinking early evolution after finding tracks made by an ancient, grape-sized single-celled organism. Creationists confidently nod, already have this one figured out	(163)
		God puts an entire village, older than earth itself, in the path of a gas pipeline to prove His power	(64)
		Scientists think they have a cure for Wolf Boy. Still no cure for Teen Wolf 2	(21)
		Cyrogenics expert takes a break from monitoring Walt Disney's frozen head to develop the world's first spearm bank for coral	(34)
		Egotistical scientists seek media coverage after identifying Copernicus' remains, not realizing the world doesn't revolve around them	(29)
		European legislators considering new laws to prevent the theft of virtual goods. Your 43rd level night-elf thief's days are numbered	(97)
		In between fart jokes, creator of Family Guy claims that science is "undervalued and degraded"	(288)
		Treasury Department introduces video-game like achievements for consumers to stimulate economy	(73)
		'Old IBMer' recalls the indignity of being FMPd ... and prays it doesn't happen again	(32)
		Google employees get bored throwing virtual penii at each other, abandon their Second Life clone	(34)
		Girl survives 118 days without a heart. Tin Man, Dick Cheney unimpressed	(31)
		Carbon nanotube coating added to cotton increases conductivity, helps detect bleeding, settles He Who Smelt It vs. He Who Dealt It	(24)
		The coolest 150-year old pictures of tiny stuff you'll see all day	(11)

Wed November 19, 2008

	"We'll find E.T. within two dozen years," says senior SETI astronomer Seth Shostak	(87)
	Cliff Bleszinski compares Gears of War 2 level to playing with turkey innards	(49)
	How Stuff Works answers- why do songs get stuck in your head? Also, Five Five Dollar Five Dollar Footlong	(123)
(youbentmywookie)	Steve Wozniak: Geek of the Month - Segway Enthusiast. Joke Line Romancer. Plane Crash Survivor. Tetris World Champ?	(20)
	Shaq has a Twitter account: "I am very quotatious I am super intelligent ( but i hide it, dont want anyone to kno i'm a geek) lol."	(38)
	Extinct penguin found alive after 500 years. Haven't heard from scientitsts who were thawing large disk-like object buried under ice	(75)
	Tennessee Governor signs new law, thus preventing all college students from downloading illegal music and other copyrighted materials off the world wide interwebs. This should end well	(75)
	Mobile phone chargers are energy vampires	(102)
	Japanese scientists clone embryo of endangered rabbit... they have no idea what to say, so they cloned a pancake on its head as well	(33)
	Awesome job Google... I say the word 'fish' and I get 'sex'	(58)
	Mogwai rediscovered. Don't feed after midnight and for God's sake don't get them wet. With pic	(42)
	Does my ass look dead in this? The more-than-sartorial suicide of the red shirt in Star Trek	(59)
	Are you a woman with a big brother? Blame him for your barren, dusty womb	(68)
	Google to give life to Life, host 10 million of the magazine's pictures	(15)
	Breakfast eating engineers came up with bulletproof tires	(25)
(Some Beer Guy)	New beer dispenser pours ten pints in ten seconds. So, when is the next fark party?	(10)
	Scientists discover cocaine addicts prefer to look at pictures of cocaine than pictures that are not cocaine. Still no cure for cancer	(35)

Tue November 18, 2008

	Nineteen high-scoring old-school video games. In those days, we clicked on slideshow links, and we loved it	(95)
	JPL/NASA unveils interplanetry internet, brings Caturday to Mars	(21)
	Woman becomes first person to receive organ transplant grown using her own cells	(35)
	Dubbed g-speak, the mind bending OS is "the first major step in [a] computer interface since 1984."	(69)
	And my lady, she went downtown/ She bought some ber-ra-ccoli/ to stop smokinnnn'/ She's chop'in broccoli/ Chop'in brocco-li/ Chop'in brocco-loco -lay -eaa -eaa -eaa--eeee	(23)
	"Lord of the Matrix," "Grand Theft Indiana Jones," and other video game collisions we'd like to see	(103)
(Some Attention Whore Helper)	Having trouble thinking of new douchey Facebook statuses? Then this tool is for you	(139)
(Pocket Gamer)	25 online multiplayer games for iPhone. Great, another gaming platform where you can get your ass handed to you by pre-teens	(23)
	Dwarf planet shows signs of weather. Sadly, no indication of actual dwarves	(32)
	World's flattest car goes 100mph, but still looks stupid doing it (pic)	(42)
	Another day, another "Arrested Development" movie confirmation. This time, Ron Howard	(77)
	Video games that will probably suck this Christmas buying season	(96)
	Scientific consensus is that scientists avoid politically unpopular research	(249)
(Some Guy)	Boycott of Kentucky ends after state backs down on gambling domain forfeitures. "For some of us here the hardest part of this boycott has been abstaining from bourbon."	(25)
	Spider goes missing on International Space Station. What could possibly go wrong?	(175)
	Google finally found its voice...and it sounds like phone sex	(16)
	Watchmen answers the "squid or no squid?" question (warning: spoiler in link, probably in thread, too)	(163)
	Kangaroo genome very close to humans', explaining their propensity to punch each other, jump around, and lock children in their basements	(24)
	Schoolboy collapses and goes into convulsions playing World of Warcraft, which inadvertently gives him more exercise than he's had for months	(77)
	National Geographic to start making video games. Sequel to Big Game Hunter likely not in plans	(27)
	Yahoo yanks Yang	(24)
	Lots of Antimatter was created in a small lab. The end of the world is nigh. EVERYBODY PANIC	(56)
	Now you can order pizza by TiVo, skipping all the boring toppings on your extra-large supreme	(17)

Mon November 17, 2008

(Some Guy)	Humans and elephants "on a collision course" in south Asia. Bet on the elephants	(15)
	Scientists discover that frogs can identify predators while still in the egg. Still no cure for cancer	(19)
	Finally, the trailer for the long awaited Guitar Praise has been released. "On screen lyrics reflect positive Christian messages"	(70)
	Five gadgets the cell phone killed	(97)
	Scientists develop new loudspeakers thinner than paper and that can be embedded in to clothing, walls, or windows. Next step is hooking your ipod up to your hat or underwear	(26)
(Apple Forums)	Attention iPhone users: There is a glitch with the iPhone that will make it randomly snap a picture of your genitals and email it to random people of the opposite sex. Just ask this woman's husband	(165)
	Bush to FCC: kill Net Neutrality. Obama to FCC: bend over, here comes Net Neutrality	(384)
	Klaatu Barada Nikto: A History. Or was it Klaatu Barada.... necktie? nectar? I'll get back to you	(47)
	You know the Battlestar Galactica rumor-mill is at full throttle when the "several main characters are gay" rumors start flying	(48)
(Adobe)	Soon you will be able to run Flash on your TRS-80	(28)
	Quantum computing takes a step ahead - or a step back. No one's really sure	(39)
(MediaMemo)	Angry mommyblogger alert: New campaign from Motrin is worst Web video, ever, and something should be done about it. Maybe an angry Twitter campaing will bring Johnson & Johnson to their knees	(46)
(Paramount)	New Star Trek Trailer. You'll get over it	(268)
	75 Comic books in the process of being made into films. Somewhere in the list is the name that will make you hate the world	(215)
	Ubiquity: The Paperclip that thinks it's Skynet	(15)
(gamepro.com)	The Most Awful Video Game Renditions of Popular Songs	(48)
	Snow pod racer looks futuristic, is rollover safe. And by "rollover safe" we mean that rolling it over won't slow it down a bit as you hurtle downhill at breakneck speeds	(61)
	Coolest night time shuttle launch photo you'll see today	(24)
	Technology allowing cars to communicate with drivers and with the roads to be displayed on Long Island as soon as manufacturers figure out how to get the cars to stop cursing and cutting off other drivers	(13)
	27 websites that became a book. If you look above you, next to "contests" (no, not the FArQ) you'll see that the A/V Club left out a glaring omission	(47)