Drew Curtis' FARK.com -- Geek Archives for '2008-10-26 23:59:59'

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These links may be stale and generate errors. Can't do much about it. Tastes like chicken.

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Sun October 26, 2008

	"Some students burst into tears when a high school biology told them they'd be studying evolution. Another teacher said some students repeatedly screamed "no" when he began talking about it." Mmm, the future of America	(264)
	96-Week Data From CASTLE Study Continue to Show Similar Efficacy Between Once-Daily REYATAZ(R) (atazanavir sulfate)/Ritonavir and Twice-Daily Lopinavir/Ritonavir In Previously Untreated HIV-1 Infected Adult Patients. Still no cure for AIDS	(15)
	Heart device maker recalls implant, none too fondly	(10)
	Whoa. There may actually come a day when instructions for flying a helicopter can be downloaded into your brain by cell phone. Here comes the science	(36)
(Universe Today)	If you're contemplating a hostile takeover of Google, you should know that Page and Brin are now armed with an actual Dornier Alpha fighter jet	(20)
(channel 3000)	Study shows that tart cherries may lower risk of heart disease. Study paid for by the Cherry Marketing Institute	(16)
	"Mastering a manual (transmission) said not only that you knew your way around a car, but that you were becoming a man. But 20 years from now, young drivers may wonder what the fuss was about."	(632)
	Melting steel with solar power	(82)

Sat October 25, 2008

(daily cardinal)	UW-Madison professor and team turn sugar into fuel, quickly and mysteriously disappear	(22)
	"Killer whales are vanishing." Yeah yeah, I've heard it all before. Senior research scientist: "The population drop is worse than the stock market." spits out coffee	(51)
	Yahoo says it will invest at least $100 million in a new data center and a new service center in Nebraska, creating at least 100 jobs. This is good news...for Omaha	(32)
	You're a geek with a girlfriend, do you A) get her an iPhone? B) lead her on a virtual scavenger hunt? C) use the iPhone and Scribular to Propose?	(36)
	You can tell whether the asshole at the bar can whip your ass or not just by looking at his face. Here comes the science	(79)
(American Scientist)	Scientific understanding of the brain as the seat of consciousness being challenged by 'alternative theory' that a ghost lives inside of it	(199)
(VNU Net)	Scientists announce that they can now store information inside the nucleus of an atom, which is a significant leap forward in porn-collection-hiding technology	(26)
	Scientists discover that memory lapses are caused when two parts of brain compete, such as when trying to decide between beer or porn	(29)

Fri October 24, 2008

		Examination board told to dumb down its math and science tests for graduates so they don't look so puzzled when the buzzer goes off telling them the fries are done	(44)
		College student takes CAD model, bent tubes, junk car parts, and a kayak to build his own Ariel Atom	(29)
		The coolest bed In the world	(41)
		That's no moon... oh wait, yes it is. The coolest pictures you will see of Enceladus in your lifetime	(140)
		Japanese plant "writes" "blog"	(23)
		XO laptop gets Windows makeover, immediately bluescreens	(36)
		Dell takes first world technology into third world "green" with bamboo computer casings	(20)
		The perfect mobile device described. Subby wants one. Any idea who makes it?	(42)
		Tiny skull sheds light on dinosaurs' diets, also makes kickass room decoration	(12)
		New "one size fits all" gene test brings us one step closer to embryo screening, eugenics programs, sky-is-falling headlines like this one right here	(36)
		Behold the amazing tricks animals use to conceal themselves from predators. Also, there are at least three ninjas in each photo	(51)
		How to use a 27.6-million pixel display wall to inspire jealousy in your neighbors, freak out your pets	(71)
		28-year old model marries 64-year old Netscape billionaire for love	(111)
		Scientists say Maine should try to adapt and take advantage of climate change because it's definitely going to get warmer. Or colder. Or neither	(49)
		In the beginning, God created...tupperware?	(16)
		When showing off how secure your scanning equipment is in your annual report, try not to use a stock picture of a passenger's vibrator in their luggage	(35)

Thu October 23, 2008

	Scientists call new drug that shrinks cancer tumors "Impressive." Still no cu..... you know what, props for actually working on cancer, dudes	(17)
	European satellite probes the interior of stars. We in the U.S. already know what it is like inside stars, and for the answer, we turn to Ollie Williams.... "ITS REALLY HOT" .... thanks Ollie	(25)
(Some Guy)	New Guitar Hero controller with all-wood neck, metal frets, and a new slider bar, available for $250. For $50 more you could get an actual, playable $300 Fender Stratocaster, but that's so 1990	(134)
	A new contender in the aviation industry: the Zeppelin NT. No word on what would happen if it were ever to Blue Screen	(23)
(Some Guy)	New research suggests that people will feel better about you when holding something warm. Just don't get too ambitious on your first attempt, ok?	(16)
	Job in danger? Economy got you afraid? The answer is simple: Learn COBOL	(91)
	Remains of bird-like dinosaur with tail feathers planted in earth by God to test our faith that Jesus rode a brontosaurus to work	(237)
	Not news: Divorcee bitter about divorce. News: She kills her ex. Fark: They were married online and she killed his avatar	(121)
	"Oi Nigel, whaddaya think this 'ere cable's for?" "I dunno Rodney, let's cut it and see." "Right, then we'll go have a pint."	(46)
	Top five Atari 2600 games. "Custer's Revenge" curiously absent	(158)
	More people relying on wood to keep warm this winter, stop them from rolling out of bed	(49)
	Comcast announces plans to help users reach their bandwidth cap more quickly	(59)
	Spiffy: SNES gets an 8-player game. Stupid: too bad it's 10 years too late	(117)
	Guy builds Batman Tumbler in garage from photos, is almost finished	(26)
	Europeana, a new online encyclopedia of European culture and rival to the Google Library Project, will debut with 2 million digitized objects by November 20. Start with the Mona Lisa and finish with Toulouse-Lautrec's midget porn	(7)
	Building uses translucent squares to form digitized clouds, moves with the wind, freaks out stoned people	(23)
	Old and busted: Flying cars. New hotness: Flying submarines	(34)
	Military funding? Check. Packs of armed, human-hunting robots? Check. Screw this, I'm outta here	(155)
	Blu-Ray players to Netflix: "How YOU doin'?"	(21)
	The 1,000mph car is here	(63)
	Pics of a giant spider eating a bird. There are a few of you with spider phobias here, so we encourage you to click the link and imagine yourself on a magical trip through this beast's thorax	(95)
	Designers unveil walking house, strangely silent on flammability of occupants	(22)

Wed October 22, 2008

	These aren't your normal Rock'Em Sock'Em robots	(17)
	Scotch tape emits X-rays. It's like you can see right through the stuff	(30)
(/Film)	Ten minutes to put it on, five minutes to take it off, and just sixty seconds to get shot down by all the ladies. The coolest Transformers costume you'll see in time for Halloween	(88)
	Man installs RFID chip into his own hand. Antichrist unavailable for comment	(35)
	Scientists grow mouse prostate from single cell. There was some taint in the samples, but that's to be expected	(43)
	Gates Foundation gives 104 scientists $100,000 grants for global health projects. Here comes a lot of science	(36)
	Eight creatures who are awaiting the apocolypse with bated breath	(67)
	The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind upgraded from "pure science fiction" to "give us a few months and it'll be available at mall kiosks"	(46)
	Radio-controlled hand gives other drivers the finger so you can focus on the road	(25)
	Instead of wasting 30 painstaking seconds to manually type out monotanous e-mail responses, Gmail is giving you the option of only wasting 5 by setting up "canned responses."	(15)
	You can Alt+F4 your doors to Win+D your risk but it won't F1. EM emissions from your keyboard can be used to Ctrl+C what you're typing. It's F5ing to know that background interference Ctrl+X's the chances of it happening	(53)
	Yahoo firing another 1500 workers, will change its name to "Meh"	(30)
(Some Guy)	Confirmed: Bioware to release Star Wars MMO that doesn't suck	(126)
	Scientists find that female spiders who eat males produce more babies. Additionally, males willingly offer themselves to avoid being nagged to death	(8)
	"Fringe" writers insist their stories are based on plausible scientific therBWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, sorry, couldn't get through that without laughing	(146)
	Flemish parliament demands its own top-level domain. Submitter has dibs on www.stupid.flanders	(12)
	Class dork in fifth grade voted most likely to become a drunk	(27)
	Google's $179 ad portal goes on sale today	(28)
	New robot allows surgeons to operate on a heart while it's beating, enslaves mankind in record time	(10)
	Identity theft convictions in the US rose by 27 percent last year, according to someone claiming to be a relative of a deposed Nigerian prince	(12)
	The dogs of war. They want steak	(52)
	Squishees... in... Spaaaace...	(24)
(Uncle Sam)	"Contrary to media hype, the vast majority of Antarctica has cooled over the past 50 years and ice coverage has grown to record levels since satellite monitoring began in the 1979"	(234)

Tue October 21, 2008

	Scientists working on way to "print" new hearts using inkjet technology. In other news, blood transfusions to cost tens times as much and require proprietary needle	(23)
(Some Guy)	Teacher brings nonvenomous snake to school. "Nonvenomous" of course being defined as "he'll bite you and you'll die." If you can guess what happened next, your Fark Fu is strong	(61)
	Guitar Heroes can now create their own music so others can pretend to play it	(34)
	New Zealand approves new pig/human transplants. Spurned sheep are inconsolable	(13)
	Cross-breeding with halflings leads to a halving in the quality of NZ men's sperm	(17)
	Museum to hang complete blue-whale skeleton. No word if it got a fair trial	(30)
	Scientists investigate scent of dead parrot feathers for signs of fjords	(17)
	A woman who smells of rotting fish has been diagnosed with a rare genetic condition after 30 years of being dismissed as having a dirty vajayjay (pic)	(60)
(Some Robot)	Google's Android Market beats the iPhone App Store, but not in a good way	(23)
	Top 11 signs you're the biggest geek at the class reunion	(50)
	Genome fanatics to post own DNA sequences on Web, wear pointy hats	(23)
	India plans to launch a secret mission to the moon tomorrow to search for 22nd century oil	(35)
	Your dog still wants steak, but will settle for Hamburger Helper until the Dow cracks 10,000 again	(68)

Mon October 20, 2008

	Global temps are actually going down, not up. Suck it manbearpig	(161)
	Can't afford a Lamborghini? No sweat, build one yourself. This dude did...in his basement	(80)
	Ten cars you can live in after your home gets repossessed	(80)
	Because people still don't listen, the IPCC now predicts climate change is happening much faster than the world's best scientists predicted and will wreak havoc unless EVERYONE PANICS more	(62)
	"Dinosaur dance floor" unearthed on Arizona-Utah border. Was (Not Was) unavailable for comment	(23)
	Videos of the new Blackberry Storm in action. The want is strong with this one	(42)
	Hooked on tanning-or even popsicles? Here are ingenious treatments for 9 bizarre addictions	(130)
	Japanese explorers find Yeti footprints in Nepal, deny plans to hunt it down and make its penis into soup	(43)
(Some Guy)	That's no moon, it's a pumpkin	(26)
	Contact lenses are home to a pathogenic amoebae that can't be killed by normal contact solution. EVERYBODY PANIC	(51)
	Do you snore? The Germans have some bad news for you	(47)
	Motorcyclist... buffering... arrested for... buffering... speeding on... buffering... YouTube	(95)
(Some Guy)	Coolest pictures you'll see in the next 26 minutes of a Catholic cathedral being moved 250 feet and roated 90 degrees to make way for a new road	(33)
(Cape Cod Times)	'Eco-parenting' saves money as children learn hunter-gatherer skills	(33)
	Due to system anomolies, the reactivation of the Hubble Space Telescope has been suspended. The year 1990 wants its headline back	(41)
(Some Guy)	New study shows that gamers live outside basements, work out, get laid, lie to surveys and have a 9" penis	(53)
(gamedaily)	25 most bizarre fighters in fighting video games. #1 is a slam dunk	(81)
	Scientists develop the second most useful remote controlled hand ever	(13)
	Scotland "has sights on 'Saudi Arabia' of marine energy", plans to receive US military aid, issue fatwas against the English	(14)
	Inspiration is most likely to strike at 10:04 PM, at least according to these scientists who'd made it to 4:33 on a Friday afternoon without producing anything that week	(19)
	Lack of electric car plug-in locations leads to creative solutions, like the $79.95 grappling hook for high tension lines	(45)
	Answer: In your shoes. Question: Where do the Japanese plan on putting hydroelectric generators?	(30)