Drew Curtis' FARK.com -- Geek Archives for '2008-10-19 23:59:59'

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Sun October 19, 2008

	Typhoons are Mother Nature douching and burying vast amounts of carbon dioxide at sea	(34)
	Scientists have discovered the oldest-ever remains of dogs dating back 221,900 dog years. They wanted steak as well	(17)
	Protection from interstellar radiation weakening. The Sun is no longer there	(48)
(Some Nutter)	Creationist group claims Mendel published his work on genetics as "as a counter to Darwin's theory of pangenesis"....a full two years before the theory of pangenesis existed	(82)
	Requirements for getting the "Official Nintendo Seal of Quality"	(36)
(Zero Punctuation)	The funniest game review you'll watch this week	(71)

Sat October 18, 2008

	Philips designs solar and wind powered, motion-sensitive streetlight. Its a UFO	(12)
	The New Yorker challenges the webcomic XKCD to a cartoon-off	(213)
	McCain dreams in black and white, Obama dreams in color. Here comes the science	(36)
	Japanese archaeologists unearth world's oldest ash-hole in Syria	(17)
	Dubai plans for another insanely tall skyscraper, this one 1.55 miles high (with pics)	(71)
(Some Guy)	New comic book will be sequel to "Star Trek: Nemesis" and lead directly into upcoming movie. No word if Picard will still drive a dune buggy	(68)
	Yahoo tarts itself up for merger/acquisition by firing 10,000 employees	(21)
	Ten video game movies that could be the worst of all-time	(68)
	Berkeley Breathed likes turtles, hates penguins	(44)
	Twitter: We'll announce our secret business model early next year. Wait, Twitter acually has a business model?	(18)
	The coolest high-definition frame grab of a 13-ton spacecraft reentering earth's atmosphere over the Pacific ocean that you'll see today	(21)
	So long as it doesn't scream "EXTERMINATE" at 6 AM, I'll buy one	(19)
	Shoving kids in a tube and showing them scary pictures: Scientific study, or best "time out" method ever?	(9)
	Scientist develops computer program to decipher and translate languages. Of aliens. From outer space. With cheezy alien pic	(76)
	Still no cure for ... holy cow, they've invented anti-cancer beer	(22)

Fri October 17, 2008

(Some Guy)	A tour of "America's most toxic place." It's not Cleveland. For once	(53)
	And then Mr. Musk told me to talk to payroll and payroll told me to talk to Mr. Musk and and and I still haven't received my paycheck and he took my stapler, and he never brought it back and then they moved my desk to storage room B	(23)
	If the Megaman 3 theme song had lyrics	(44)
	Coolest event in Rome since that whole "Brutus thing" - Rome workers uncover city of dead	(26)
	Crack research team discovers that bananas glow bright blue under black light. Dude, you're so going to have to try that later	(44)
	It's ten times lighter than steel but 500 times stronger, conducts electricity like copper, and conducts heat like steel or brass. Meet buckypaper	(92)
	Cigarette shaped solar cells have the potential of harnessing solar power at around the same price as electricity from coal-fired power plants. Kools	(60)
	Researchers create wirelessly-powered robot swarm that can move along a path, recharge their own batterys, power a LED light and find Sarah Conner	(30)
	Scientists reconfirm abiogenesis, turning entirely inorganic material into organic molecules. Religions wave hands furiously and declare these aren't the experiments we're looking for	(178)
	Pootie-poot tests his country's satnav system. On his dog	(18)
	35 years ago today, the Arab nations made the Western world their biatch	(54)
	Scientists considered electron busing to deal with unexplained spin segregation, but conservative bottom quarks threatened boycotts	(14)
	Scientists determine that woman are fat not because they stuff too much cheesecake into their mouths, but due to chemical imbalances. Yes, dear	(55)
	History in the making. The first Tesla crash caught on camera	(32)
	Motion detector + strobe light + blender + cat = Hilarity	(56)

Thu October 16, 2008

(Gamespot)	Cool: Xbox live will sell GTA San Andreas as a download for $15. Cooler: Portal will also sell for $15, with 14 new levels	(51)
(Some Guy)	Say goodbye to anything productive for the next two hours. Level 17 will consume your soul	(121)
	Study finds that people with internet experience who search the internet use more of their brains, fewer of their hands	(69)
(Some Guy)	In 1944, a science fiction story was published that detailed the workings of an atomic bomb - fourteen months before the first successful atomic explosion - thus prompting a Federal security agency to investigate	(108)
	"Dramatic evidence" of arctic warming according to annual NOAA report, noting this autumn's temps are 9 degrees above normal. Final proof that Al Gore will stop at nothing to destroy America	(160)
	10 PRINT "It's not Lupus"	(33)
	UK drafting plans to allow police to view pictures and data of drunken chicks at parties in attempts to prevent terrorism	(11)
(Some Car-munist)	Russia announces new 350-hp supercar. Naturally, it only comes in red	(35)
	A species of crested dinosaur, the Lambeosaurus, may have been able to communicate, saying such things as, "Where's the food" and "Hey, what's the huge flaming rock in the sky?"	(41)
(Some Guy)	Doctors discover new condition called "Mobile Phone Dermatitis." Can you heal me now?	(43)
	Commie squirrels become immune to biological warfare. EVERYBODY PANIC	(50)
	NASA reboots Hubble by getting its Intel 486 running	(83)
(Some Guy)	"Can you imagine driving around the next Grand Theft Auto city with Gordon Brown's dour face glowering down at you from the billboards?" The scary future of in-videogame advertising	(46)
(Some Guy)	The Top 5 Dr. Horrible Evil League of Evil applications: brought to you by the people who have too much free time on their hands	(43)
	Atari acquires rights for new "Ghostbusters" video game from Activision. This is not a repeat from 1985	(31)
	If you're thinking of buying Android becuase it doesn't have a remote kill switch like the iPhone, then we've got some bad news for you	(29)
(Some Guy)	Google's Android smart phone is out, and it makes the iPhone look like cheap plastic crap	(62)
	"Hey baby you must be from the exoplanet WASP-12b eight hundred light years away, so can I see your ass, I mean anus"	(17)
	Two students at NASA solve the second most important problem for space travel, ensuring that astronauts will finally be able to enjoy a decent cup of coffee. Next up, the bacon condundrum	(33)
	Tesla delays introduction of new electric car on news of lowering gas prices	(51)
	John McCain's "Keeping Internet Devoid of Sexual Predators Act of 2008" passes, requiring all sexual predators to register their email address. Good thing there's only one email provider out there	(66)
	Sprint begins laying their fatter, more muscular pipe	(15)
	Thanks to your raging alcoholism, your parents will probably live longer than you. Booze: What can't it do?	(160)

Wed October 15, 2008

(The Times)	Scientists say that the odds of them developing an AIDS vaccine anytime soon are about the same as Elizabeth Hasselbeck shutting her damn yapper	(35)
	Steve Jobs leaving Apple?	(49)
	A well written, researched and amusing article on LOLcats...that fails to mention caturday. It's not news, it's MSN	(15)
	God puts a fly in the ointment. 310 million year old fossil of flying insect discovered in Massachusetts	(37)
	Researchers trying to climb and find the fabled Antarctic Gamburtsevs. Also hoping not to wake Cthulhu in the process	(39)
	Device helps monkeys move paralyzed wrists. Now they'll never leave to house	(14)
	"Son, I wouldn't do that." Talking CCT cameras to warn off hoons thinking of starting trouble	(50)
	Would you pay $66,000 for the ultimate Transformers collection?	(46)
	Hunting with Palin...the game	(25)
	Man spends $5711 per year on 36 World of Warcraft accounts, with mom's basement pic goodness	(157)
	No financial crisis in world economy of Second Life. Well OK then, everybody don't panic	(18)
	99.8% of gamers don't care about buttsecks, says EA	(100)
	Scientists find a cheap alternative to expensive centrifuges for separating blood plasma: a $2 egg beater	(26)
(Some Guy)	Perhaps the greatest time-waster you'll see this week -- play with sand, like you did when you were little	(161)
(Some AutoBlog)	Old and busted: Lancer Evolution. New hotness: Chevy Cobalt	(103)
	Gamer builds "Gears of War" lancer, uses Nerf gun	(23)
	New Rock Band add-on: Smoke and lightshow generator. Gimmegimmegimmegimmegimme	(37)
(Some Guy)	Ready for a 500 terabyte iPod?	(86)
(Electronista)	SanDisk thinks people will stop downloading music if they give everybody the chance to buy it on SD cards	(35)
	Girl survives rabies without vaccine. Only took a medically induced coma, some antivirals, vitamins and $800,000	(61)
	Research shows Marijuana contains natural antibiotics. Unfortunately the smoke increases your chance for respiratory infections	(103)

Tue October 14, 2008

(Some Harmful Rays)	Shark blood may fight cancer. Hard part is getting them to make a fist and hold it	(29)
	New macbooks unveiled. Whoop	(82)
	Music rubbers tisk worm pennant spearing toss gum lasting her gym pee tree slayers two cloud four screw prong	(71)
	Still no cure for cancer, although the odds of dying from it are dropping	(13)
	What the "Cool" tag was made for: NASA is going to restart Hubble	(37)
	Scientist says Chimps are People. Says "They haven't built a rocket ship to the moon." but they have ridden in a few	(268)
	Federal authorities shut down "one of the largest spam email operations in the world," dooming millions of men to search in vain for herbal Viagra	(27)
	California may spend $45 billion to build a bullet train from San Diego to SF. "And all it has to do to pull off this miracle is defy the laws of economics and physics"	(87)
	EA figures out that Asian kids like online games	(40)
	Google to Department of Justice Yahoo probe: "This is not the ad-sharing deal you are looking for"	(13)
	The coolest pictures of our local star you will see all day. The Sun laid bare	(87)
	Why Aussie Farkers will soon be unable to post here	(121)
	Germany rules that Google Image Search infringes on copyright, and Google has the responsibility for removing them. Good luck with that, Germany	(33)
	Your forecast for the week is for occasional trojans with a small chance of a major phishing outbreak	(10)
	U.S. Army funding new telepathy helmet for troops to communicate in the field. Plans already underway to develop into video game technology, Project Alchera	(30)
	Watch Sam Shepard as Chuck Yeager break the sound barrier in his X-1 ("Glamorous Glennis"), just like 61 years ago today. Except Chuck did it for real, with two broken ribs and the right stuff	(54)
	Microsoft announces that the next operating system you will loath and despise will be officially called "Windows 7"	(157)
	Obama in my video games? It's more likely than you think	(103)

Mon October 13, 2008

(Some Guy)	Rutgers does study on the "Freshman 15" myth, determines that those chicks were already fat in high school	(172)
	Overwhelming geek demand causes OpenOffice 3 to turn into ClosedOffice	(69)
	Who cares if you're a Mac or PC? Investors gorge on both Apple and Microsoft stock	(15)
	Lightning bolt destroys transformer 50 feet away from some dude. (Not safe for work language)	(69)
	For the first time ever, the son of an astronaut will join the son of a cosmonaut in outer space. The Metro is there	(27)
	Man who lost his hand to an alligator shows off his new prosthetic hand on Today show. Next plans to help Happy get ready for a rematch with Bob Barker	(22)
	Norwegian developer pulls off the unthinkable: Windows Mobile on an iPhone. Begun, the fanboy wars have	(76)
	Your flying car is almost ready	(74)
	Twenty-five years ago today, the first cell-phone call was dropped	(96)
	Not your ordinary Roomba: New robot killing machine comes equipped with grenade launchers and pre-prepared "bash this with a rock until it stops moving" program	(21)
	Lord British successfully blasts off into space. Headed to Planet X to find castle of Father Antos in order to receive blessing to kill evil enchantress Minax	(36)
	Forty years ago today, Apollo 7 was launched. It's now largely forgotten, overshadowed by later Apollos, especially that bit about the crew catching space-flu in their sterile capsule	(11)
	"I read 'A Brief History of Time,' but to be honest I didn't understand a word, but I respect the man and that's why I got his face tattooed on my leg"	(52)
	Old and busted: Being cranky and depressed from lack of sleep and no sex for six weeks. New hotness: "Male post-partum depression"	(92)
	This is a good time to be in the comic book business	(30)
(Some guy)	Woman comes up with brazen new idea to fight terrorism	(12)
(Some Guy)	535 to be laid off by Lawrence Livermore Laboratories. Stay tuned for missing hard drives	(22)
	Doctors decry dangerous dietary deficiency, demand doubling daily D dose during development	(16)
	2008 I.T. industry graveyard: Windows XP, Microsoft-Yahoo, HD-DVD and others meet their maker	(58)
	Black silicon introduced, immediately outperforms traditional silicon in light sensitivity, most sports	(88)
	Old and busted: Rickshaw. New hotness: Soleckshaw	(10)
	We're one step closer to open wireless	(11)
	With this four-armed turntable, Doctor Octopus could give up supervillainy and take up a new career as a DJ	(20)
	Computer nearly passes the Turing Test: Fooled humans 25 percent of the time into thinking they were talking to another person. Turing benchmark: 30 percent	(74)