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(Headline T-Shirts are still available for archive links.)
Sun October 12, 2008
(Some Guy) Cool The Steampunk genius Sillof brings us his rendition of "The Return of the Jedi" (12)
(YouTube) Amusing Totalfarker makes a UFO for a contest in 2007 and someone posts a video on line in 2008 and people swear it is real. Now CNN wants an interview (17)
(College Humor) Amusing EXACTLY how big of an internet nerd are you? Take this quiz and find out (87)
(PCWorld) Spiffy Overclock your body with "geek cuisine" (39)
(BBC) Cool Probably the only video of a patient playing the banjo during brain surgery you'll ever see (35)
(IGN) Obvious "StarCraft II" will be split into three separate titles. "Blizzard says it made the change to make each story that much more epic and to flesh out the StarCraft universe." Translation: We wanted to make more $$$ (109)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Owning a pet can cut your cancer risk by a third (23)
(Marketwatch) Interesting Game designers in spaaaaace (16)
(ABC News) Interesting Do electrical oysters dream of android pearls? (7)
(NewsMax) Scary Before you ate that broccoli or carrot, did you ask if being eaten would damage its self esteem? (42)
(TechEBlog) Weird Musician builds guitar-shaped boat, sails away (28)
(Telegraph) Obvious Scientists determine that John Travolta-style dancing is the way to a woman's heart. Still no cure for cancer (39)

Sat October 11, 2008
(AP) Cool LOLephntz r in ur fldz txtn ur rngrz (27)
(Yahoo) Spiffy Let the nerdgasm commence: OpenOffice 3.0 to launch on Monday. Can't you just feel the excitement in the air? (85)
(MSNBC) Sappy Boy puppies often let girls win just to keep them happy (79)
(Gizmodo) Amusing New Apple MacBooks to eject an unlimited supply of puppies, cure cancer and run on nothing but good vibrations. Homer still waiting on his TaB (44)
(Telegraph) Interesting Barn owl with genetic mutation that has turned it black called "one in a million variation." YA RLY (pic) (42)
(AP) Spiffy Johnny 5 is heading to Mars after all (16)
(MSNBC) Obvious New technology being developed that will save airlines billion in fuel costs and triple air capacity. Technology is something called "GPS" and is expected to be in place by 2020 (36)
(CNN) Interesting New machine prints sheets of light, still jams in fuser area 3b (28)

Fri October 10, 2008
(BBC) Obvious September called 'dullest month in 23 years.' You submitted this with a drearier headline (30)
(Mirror.co.uk) Cool Top 10 celebrities who started out life as geeks (85)
(C|Net) Asinine Verizon Wireless to begin charging $.03 for every message sent to a Verizon Wireless device. Bonus: The sender gets charged, not the recipient (72)
(Wired) Weird We don't need to tell you that the next president of the United States is going to have a lot to do. He has to fix the economy, the environment, and Wall Street as well as reveal the truth about UFOs. Wait, what? (170)
(National Geographic) Interesting Heavy Metal-eating "Superworms" unearthed in U.K.. So that's what happened to Judas Priest (40)
(YouTube) Video Elephant toothpaste is the name given to the catalyzed decomposition reaction of 30% hydrogen peroxide that uses soap to collect the oxgen gas that is produced. It is a favorite of most students at chemistry shows. Watch the video and see why (57)
(Reuters) Spiffy Gecko-like glue sticks to damn near anything, will save you boatloads on auto insurance (12)
(UPI) Interesting 'SenCity' nightclub for the deaf pumps various scents on the dance floor to reflect the mood of what is being played. Jagermeister vomit fragrance synthesized just in time for Madonna night (11)
(The Register) Interesting Local telecom monopoly: Public broadband is illegal. Stop them Judge: How about "no"? (47)
(Some Guy) Obvious AT&T turns user agreement into a 2,500 page mess of legal jargon, then sends it to your junk mail folder (100)
(Reuters) Stupid Making math "uncool" is hurting American competitiveness researchers say. Unlike before, when being able to quote binomial theorems from memory was guaranteed to get you laid (278)
(Science Daily) Obvious Mathematicians prove that QUE implies that the zeros of the associated cusp forms also are equidistributed in the (hyperbolic) upper half-plane (50)
(Reuters) Interesting Scientists using DNA testing confirm "virgin birth" of shark in Virginia aqarium. Jesus too busy fitting laser beam to head to comment (29)
(Sky.com) Scary Indian catfish develops taste for human flesh. Living human flesh. Tarzan never had to deal with this in the movies (24)
(1UP) Cool Lucasarts and Bioware to release joint effort MMO, begin counting money by weight, report plans to buy the Heavens and the Earth "straight cash" (97)
(Marketwatch) Spiffy Ensuring pr0n will be available in a post apocalyptic world: New materials will shield critical network nodes from EMP. So we have that going for us (12)
(NASA) Cool A team of scientists plan to build an unbelievably large telescope on the moon, shortly before the Vogons build a hyperspace bypass (25)
(Marketwatch) Asinine New website offers guide to canine medical conditions. Now you can annoy your vet with asinine Internet self diagnoses, just like you do your own doctor (83)
(Some Researcher) Cool New research will make finding pornographic pictures a whole lot easier. It may have other less important uses, too (16)
(Space X) Cool Coolest video set to music from a webcam attached to the very first privately owned company rocket that made it into orbit that you'll see... well, ever (34)
(SMH) Cool Model demonstrates brainwave-reading video game controller. That's strange, it was working just a few minutes ago (19)
(Gawker) Weird Face-analyzing computer program says that James Franco's face is sooooooooo good (21)
(Space) Cool Juno spacecraft plans to make sarcastic remarks about Jupiter (19)

Thu October 09, 2008
(Toronto Sun) Dumbass Scientists decry what they call 'politicization of science', an issue that doesn't seem to concern them so much when they're the ones issuing dire global warming predictions and urging governments to act (70)
(Sky.com) Cool Corpse-eating mutant goonch fish caught (w/pic). Arnold and Willis unavailable for comment (35)
(BBC) Asinine Having constructed the largest supercollider in the world, Europe now invents unbreakable quantum cryptography. Remind me what we're doing with our money again? (122)
(CBS 46) Unlikely One more reason to hate MySpace: It makes your kid a gang banger (34)
(AFP) Obvious Google-sponsored satellite sends first image, which is quickly obscured by pop-up ad (20)
(Yahoo) Interesting Scientists conclude that brachiosaurs got big because they didn't chew their food. Study sheds light on the reason for large people at buffets (27)
(C|Net) Obvious Digg Founder says that in order to survive "We have to move past providing a service solely for tech geeks who wouldn't know a vagina even if one had a starring role in the next Halo" (70)
(Bungie.net) Cool Halo 3 campaign expansion announced. Looks like Nintendo isn't the only one with a license to print money (72)
(Topless Robot) Cool The ten greatest evil robot doppelgangers. Sure, that's confusing, but Mecha Hulk will smash if you don't click the link (54)
(USA Today) Obvious Dear Mr./Mrs. insert name, we are writing in regretful notification that your Fark user ID has been compromised. PLEase enter it in the following thread for recertifiction. Yours truely, Drue (103)
(The Register) Amusing Farkworthy double-entendre headline directly from the Register: "Oracle shareholders choke on Larry Ellison's package" (19)
(Network World) Dumbass Verizon plays fast and loose with the wrong 1,200 e-mail addresses. Oops (4)
(Gizmodo) Scary If Jack Bauer was asked to design a Swiss Army Knife, he'd probably come up with this (54)
(News.com.au) Amusing Thousands of Australian sheep to be fitted with masks, and not just because it's in the dress code for the outback ball (12)
(Boston Globe) Cool Scientists discover that stem cells taken from testicles have potential to treat a wide range of diseases. Men ask scientists to keep looking (34)

Wed October 08, 2008
(The Register) Spiffy Judge Dredd smartshell shotguns target '09 Iraq deployment (67)
(Lifehacker) Cool Another example of life imitating xkcd (86)
(USA Today) Fail Sackboy awaits your personal touch as Sony tries to salvage the PS3 by tapping the underserved pedogamer market (74)
(MSNBC) Scary Japanese robot suit allows disabled people to walk, begin arbitrary quest for Sarah Connor (43)
(CNN) Interesting There will a shortage of Wii and DS video game consoles this Christmas. This is not a repeat (77)
(ABC News) Cool New pictures of Mercury from the Messenger spacecraft (34)
(Gawker) Cool The most incredible personal library evar. Behold internet start-up CEO Jay Walker's paradise, including an actual Sputnik satellite, and a napkin on which FDR planned to win WWII (199)
(Yahoo) Interesting DNA could reveal your surname, especially if you're Mr./Mrs. CGTATAAAGC (39)
(AP) Cool Double arm transplant a success (with Robocop photo goodness) (59)
(BBC) Cool Scientists meet for alien summit, plan for next week's predator summit (22)
(Gizmodo) Interesting Developers create system that transforms landscape outside car windows into video game. Soon, when you see that little brat in the minivan making faces at you, he may also be carving your ears off with a laser (19)
(Network World) Cool BlackBerry's "iPhone Killer" storms into the market (106)
(Jalopnik) Cool Buick bucks blue-hairs, reveals a new car that actually looks good (62)
(The Register) Sad MySQL founder quits his job at Sun because they won't let anyone color outside the lines (43)
(New Scientist) Interesting Brain scans show that that coma patients react to pain as much as healthy people, which is great news for sadistic nurses (9)
(Some Guy) Silly Ever wonder where your cat goes all day? Wonder no more (46)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Woman's voices found to get screechier the more fertile they are in rare example of evolutionary counterselection (43)
(Live Science) Obvious Science proves that your boss is a dick (33)

Tue October 07, 2008
(YouTube) Stupid "I'll create a GUI interface in Visual Basic, see if I can track an IP address" (228)
(Daily Mail) Obvious St. John's Wort plant is just as effective in treating depression as Prozac. But since it's a natural herb, instead of being embraced, the treatment will probably be made illegal (259)
(MSNBC) Interesting Science discovers there are really ten types of plants that can be used to make chocolate, not just three. Still no cure for cancer, but at least they have their priorities straight (13)
(PennLive) Stupid Comcast announces 4.5% rate hikes due to ... *shakes magic 8 ball* ... gas prices (62)
(Network World) Fail Five years after Congress passed the CAN-SPAM Act, spam has been virtually eliminated. Just kidding - it has actually increased tenfold and costs businesses $42 billion a year (28)
(LA Times) Cool Joss Whedon's mansion could be yours for only $3.7 million. It comes with four bedrooms, five baths, and quirky sense of snark (30)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Fail "Heroes" dying an humiliating death. Show falling dramatically in the ratings every week. If only there was a way to go back in time and make it not suck (254)
(Gizmodo) Strange If you've been waiting for a chair made from recycled plastic bags that resembles part of your digestive tract, your wait is over (14)
(UPI) Interesting Satellites study Greenland shrinkage. Greenland's defensively says that any findings scientists may obtain are inaccurate, because "The water was cold" (28)
(Gizmodo) Obvious The co-founder of a major computer company on Apple's iPhone SDK: "Consumers aren't getting all they want when companies are very proprietary and lock their products down." By the way, it's Steve Wozniak (28)
(Network World) Interesting The Obama campaign's Search Engine to Nowhere (44)
(MDN) Cool While Americans eschew engineering for MBAs and American Idol, Japanese Boffin Squad releases robotic legs to assist mobility-impaired get around, find Sarah Connor. Bonus: Company Name is Cyberdyne (33)
(Some Crafty Guy) Cool At last, an arts & crafts project suitable for your budding little biologist. Or serial killer (11)
(PhysOrg.com) Strange Just when you thought you had a handle on basic arithmetic, along come a group of physicists to tell you that zero plus zero doesn't actually equal zero. Thanks a lot, physicists (51)
(Telegraph) Fail Oh RoHS. Large Hadron Collider break down due to bad solder joint somewhere amongst the 10,000 solder connections in the system (41)
(BBC) Unlikely Scientists discover genetic link to premature ejacul--DAMMIT (130)
(London Times) Cool Blackfooted ferret returns to prairie after near-extinction in 1980s. Suck it, California (15)
(Discover) Cool That's no planet, that's a watermelon (31)
(London Times) Cool The first person to reach 1,000 years of age has probably already been born (149)
(London Times) Unlikely Evolution is SO over, girlfriend (172)
(Sony Insider) Cool Holographic television to be reality, just as soon as we can get this restraining bolt off (29)
(Science Daily) Cool Gun shows do not increase homicides or suicides. USA USA USA (143)
(Labspaces.net) Spiffy Microwaves can extract water from Moon, Mars, Hot Pockets (26)
(C|Net) Interesting The Goggles: they might do something (26)

Mon October 06, 2008
(Some Gal) Unlikely Bedroom fan cuts SIDS risk by 72% (73)
(Discover) Cool Scientists discover planet denser than lead, Palin (66)
(Some Chicken Little) Scary Asteroid to impact Earth tonight over Northern Sudan. Well, that ought to solve that whole Darfur problem (187)
(Science Daily) Interesting "Singing To Females Makes Male Birds' Brains Happy" report scientists. Next up: combing hair into little spikes, wearing expensive sunglasses and pursing their lips like fish make male guidos happy whether females are around or not (59)
(Celebitchy) Cool Judge rules in favor of Perez Hilton, Lindsay Lohan's girlfriend to pay him $87,000 so he can keep bad-mouthing her on his blog (46)
(IT World) Interesting Ford to sell car that can't go faster than 80 miles per hour until your teen figures out how to override the parental lockout feature (103)
(The Local (Sweden)) Interesting Three people you've never heard of win a Nobel you didn't know existed (75)
(Reuters) Stupid Scientists prep for the harshness of Antarctica by training in... Derbyshire, England? (9)
(Gizmodo) Amusing If you purchase an iPod at Wal-Mart, you can return a cheap knock-off for a full refund (45)
(BBC) Interesting Study suggests air pollution may increase the risk of appendicitis. That's silly, I live and work in China and AAAAGHHHHHHHHHH (42)
(Telegraph) Unlikely The secret to a happy marriage is four hugs a day, one romantic dinner a month, one night alone per month, all of which conveniently leaves no time for sex (28)
(ABC News) Interesting Nerds more likely to get laid than jocks. Ogre inconsolable (61)
(Independent) Scary UK may run out of electricity this winter, forcing millions to drink their beer warm (38)
(MSNBC) Cool Scientists discover huge, ancient pyramid in Peru buried under tons of earth. Let's just let them dig it up and go rushing in there. Not our fault they haven't seen the movie (141)
(Yahoo) Interesting Oldest known footprints accidentally discovered. Yes, only one set (59)
(Telegraph) Obvious Starbucks wastes 23 million litres of water each day, due to staff leaving taps running. It also burns four tonnes of paper every day, due to hate mail (44)
(AP) Obvious Doctors: Hamsters and gerbils are not appropriate pets for young children, Richard Gere (56)
(AP) Interesting Data show that the venus flytrap is nearly endangered. As a preventative measure, scientists recommend updating wardrobe, losing the afro and switching to hip-hop (18)
(Some Guy) Interesting New solar cell as easy and cheap to make as a pizza. Oil companies to buy up the patent and bury the whole idea to protect their profits in 3... 2... 1 (75)

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